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Chapter Text

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"Oh, fuck," Regulus says, squeezing his eyes shut, sounding mortified.  "Salazar."

"You're an absolute idiot," is the first thing Sirius can think of saying. "What were you thinking?"

Regulus makes a disbelieving, irritated noise.

"Obviously I  wasn't,"  he replies, bitingly. "You must know what that's like."

"You were just delaying the inevitable!" Sirius accuses.

"Well, of course!" Regulus sputters. "What else could I possibly do?"

Sirius pauses, shoulders slumping.

"I...yeah," he concedes. Regulus looks surprised. "You're right. Right."

" I didn't think  this  would happen, " Regulus looks away. "Obviously. I didn't think that far ahead. I remembered Bella saying "now that you're sixteen" and I just, I just saw the potion and I thought - "

"What if you weren't," Sirius guesses, biting back a reluctant smile. It sounds like something Sirius would do. 

There's a short, awkward pause.

"If that's all, then," Regulus's tone is dull, still slightly embarrassed. "Thanks for- whatever."

That's not all.

"It's not all," Sirius finds himself saying. "You-you- still have a choice. You can- "

"I can  what?  Run away like you?"  Regulus's tone is chilly, like he'd expected this and it's the worst thing he can possibly think of.

"Yes," Sirius admits, desperate. "Yes. Come with me. Please."

"Sirius, I can't - " Regulus blanches, eyes wide. "I can't - "

"But you can," Sirius says, fiercely. "Please, Regulus.  Please.  Think about it. You'll be free. From everything, from everyone, take it from me, you'll be. You'll be  happy."

"I...I have to come back for Seventh Year," Regulus says, blankly. "To Slytherin. And everyone will know about - "

"You have friends there," Sirius says, remembers Barty Crouch. "And my year will be graduating. Mulciber, Avery, Snape. You'll be a Seventh Year, Reg. You'll be Quidditch Captain and Head Boy, too, probably.  It'll be  your  house. Your place."

"And  Lestrange's ," Regulus grits his teeth. "And  Rosier's ."

"You're  Regulus Black,"  Sirius reminds him. "You can take them. I know you can."

"It's-it's not about- " Regulus breaks off, exhales. "I'll think about it."

"Stop putting it off," Sirius tells him. "I know what you're doing.  You  know what you're doing! Just for once in your life, instead of going back and forth with what to do and why to do it and how to do it, just," Sirius grips his shoulders, and is pleased when Regulus's expression shifts from resignation to anger,  "just  fucking do it."

Regulus shakes his hands off, glaring. 

"Just do what you want!" Sirius is aware that he's yelling now. "Stop thinking about what Mother would say and what she would feel! That's her fucking business, the consequences of  her  actions!"

"It's our family, Sirius," Regulus says, but he's avoiding Sirius's eyes. "She's  our  mother. She just - "

"Family?" Sirius laughs, incredulously. "We've never been a fucking  family!  They hate us, both of us! Obeying them isn't suddenly going to make them love you. It's not going to happen. Stop trying to mend a broken thing! And I know she's our Mother. Though, Merlin knows what she's ever done to prove it aside from just reminding us of the fact."

"She - " Regulus starts, again, face pale.

"She, she,  she,"  Sirius mocks. "What about  you?  Do you not have anything you want to do? Does your personality start and end where Mother says? Tell me, Regulus, do you really want to join Voldemort?"

Regulus flinches at the name, which just makes Sirius angrier.

"You're so fucking scared of him! You're such a fucking coward!" Sirius snarls, accusingly. "Do you want to live your life scared? Bella's a fucking nutter, but atleast she's doing what she wants to do! You don't even  want  to become a Death Eater! What do you really want, Regulus?!"

Sirius isn't expecting Regulus to tackle him to the ground. For someone half a foot shorter than him, Regulus is certainly strong.

"I want to - !" Regulus yells, swinging his fist back and hitting Sirius right under the eye. Sirius's head whips to the side, and he hisses, before pushing up with his legs and kicking Regulus off. "Of  course  I don't want to join them!"

Sirius stands up, presses his cheek gently. It's sore, probably bruising already.

Regulus stares at him warily like he's expecting Sirius to retaliate.  As if. 

"So," Sirius says, lips twitching. "Did that feel better?"

Regulus blinks, surprised. He's still on the floor.

"Much," he says, finally, eyes downcast.

Of course I don't want to join them!

"Will you come with me?" Sirius asks, probably the last time.

Regulus glances up at him. Takes a deep breath.

"Yes," he says, barely audible. 

Sirius offers him a hand, to help him up.

"Don’t hit me again," Sirius warns, when Regulus takes it and stands up. "I won't let you off the next time."

"Liar," Regulus whispers. He's right.

"You little shit," Sirius says, before throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer. Regulus obliges, leans against Sirius's neck.

"I'm sorry," Regulus says. Sirius can hear him swallowing. "Sorry."

It's okay. I'm sorry, too.

"For not telling me about your boyfriend?" Sirius grins, instead. "Yeah, you should be."

"I don't have a - " Regulus sounds bewildered, as he pulls back and frowns suspiciously at Sirius.

Sirius laughs. 





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"James, Remus," Sirius says, when they enter the Hospital Wing. James and Remus look up, eyes darting between the two of them. "Meet my brother," he nudges Regulus forward.

Regulus plays along.

"Regulus Black," he says, primly.

"James Potter," James grins, shakes Regulus's hand. "In my head, I'm bowing to you and all, by the way."

Regulus gives him a flat look.

"Hello," Remus says. Regulus looks slightly alarmed.

"I'm Remus," he says, with a faint smile. Sirius doesn't miss the flush creeping up Regulus's face. 

"And I'm Peter," Sirius turns around to see him coming in through the door.

"Nobody cares," Sirius sticks out his tongue.

"I got Butterbeer," Peter says, removing a small pouch from his pocket and unshrinking it, "for everyone  but  Sirius."

"Hey, not fair," Sirius frowns.

"Nobody cares,"  Peter mocks.



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Regulus goes to back to the Slytherin dormitory after they've talked to Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey, about his "sudden and unexpected" age reversal.

Sirius feels lighter than he's ever felt, when Regulus gives him a discreet smile across the hall during supper, and later, when they're in the dormitory.

"You know, objectively," Remus says, thoughtful. "Regulus's plan was rather good. I mean. It worked, sort of."

(Sirius abruptly remembers that point when he'd first realised how  slytherin  Regulus was. That he hadn't just been sorted into Slytherin, but that he  was  a Slytherin. 

When Regulus had been sorted, Sirius had been angry, because  why didn't Regulus choose gryffindor like him?

At that moment, it had never...occurred to him that Slytherin might be the best fit for Regulus. That maybe he  wanted  to be in Slytherin. Sirius had immediately assumed that Regulus was just a "good son" and that he was scared to go against their parents, but. 

But maybe Regulus actually, truly, was a Slytherin. 

Maybe Slytherin was Regulus's  choice,  just like Gryffindor was Sirius's.

It had been a source of constant shame for Sirius, how he'd been so rude to Regulus in his first year, had never given him a chance to explain that he was the same person. Sirius remembers Regulus's efforts to try talking to him, to get his approval.)

Today feels like a new start, a turn on that shame. 

Sleep doesn't come easily, but for the first time, it's because Sirius feels hopeful, excited.




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"Hey, Sirius," James whispers, wondering if he should just open his curtains and enter. He's never thought so much about it, before, but with everything with Regulus and all... "Sirius?"

"Yeah, James?" comes Sirius's voice from inside, as he draws the curtains aside. He's sitting, eyes wide and concerned.

"Can I come in?" James asks, with a shiver. He should have worn warmer clothes. "Can't sleep."

Sirius's eyes widen even more, with what seems to be shock, but he dutifully makes space for James, and tentatively offers one end of his blanket.

"Thanks," James says, getting in. It's warm inside. "I'm really glad, you know. About Regulus and everything."

Sirius just stares at him, his weight on his elbow.  He's biting his fucking lip again,  James thinks, looking away from Sirius's gaze, before dragging his eyes back.

"What?" James asks, finally.

"I- um, yeah. I'm glad too," Sirius blinks, gives a one-arm shrug, flushes a bit. "But. Uh, I just thought- about sleeping together- not like  that!  That you wouldn't want to- you know. Do this. Now that you know I'm- " he lowers his voice, "gay."

It's the first time Sirius has said the word himself. James wants to reassure him, wants to say so much to him. He stays frozen.

"Not that that makes a difference to anything," Sirius shakes his head, speaking too fast, moving back to make even more space for James. "Between us, that is. Especially between us. It doesn't matter at all. In fact, I don't know why I reminded you, if you could forget about that, I would feel loads better about everyth- "

HIS LIP HIS LIP HE'S STILL BITING IT -

James reaches out with a hand to cup Sirius's jaw. Sirius falls shut, swallowing and looking sort of terrified.

"It does make a difference. To me," James says, because it absolutely does.  It does it does it does.  "I don't want to forget it. I-I want to- "

"Jamie," Sirius breathes out, so very softly, like James's name is a treasured thing, like James's name is something that only Sirius can say the way he says -

"Can I kiss you?" James asks, before he loses all nerve. He thinks his hands are shaking a little.

Sirius's smile stretches into a grin, slow and wide and delighted.

For a second, James is terribly worried that all this is all just a joke, that Sirius will laugh now, but then Sirius's hand presses against the back of James's neck and he leans in.

James leans in, too, shifting his legs sideways and around, as  Sirius's hand strays down to -

"Silencing charm," James gasps out, remembering others in the dormitory, and even under the dim light, James sees Sirius's entire face light up, as he realizes what James is saying.

Sirius's wand is behind James, on his side-table.

James is about to turn around and pick it up, but Sirius is reaching already, pinning James down in the process. James's back presses against the bed, his breathing shallow and quick, eyes on Sirius's neck, who's weight feels comfortable, warm, centering.

Sirius twists his wand, murmurs a  Silencio,  and keeps it back on the table, and crawls back, locking eyes with James.

Hi,  Sirius whispers. 

Hi,  James whispers back, pulling Sirius down on him.



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2 days later, platform 9¾

Ready, Reggie?  Sirius asks. 

Walburga catches Sirius's eye across the Platform, lips pulling into a sharp sneer, her hand on Orion's arm. 

Ready,  Regulus whispers back, and drapes James's cloak on top of him. Sirius feels Regulus leaving his side. He walks closer to where Walburga and Orion are standing.

"Mother,"   Sirius says, when he's a few feet away. Walburga stares at him, cold, distant, like you stare at a vaguely unwanted stranger. "Who are you waiting for?"

There's a short pause, when Walburga stares at him like she can't believe he's daring to talk to her.

"This family is none of your business anymore, Sirius," Orion says, finally, voice hard. "We've made that clear."

(No,  Sirius  has made that clear.)

He laughs.

"Well, alright," Sirius says, cheerfully, because that gets on their nerves more than anything else. "Just wanted to tell you, that you might not want to wait for Regulus any longer. I have a suspicion he isn't coming with  you  this time."

And Sirius turns and walks to where Euphemia and Fleamont are waiting for him, small smiles on their faces, smiles that hides their worries.

Monty ruffles his hair, and Effie tries doing the same, but she's too busy glaring at Walburga behind them.

Sirius feels a hand on his shoulder.

Home free,  he whispers, to Regulus. 

Home,  Regulus whispers, sounding dazed.





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