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They had gotten so close. In the light of the god-forsaken moonlight through Alyssa’s blinds, they had gotten so close.
Kendra’s eyes had fluttered down and Alyssa had brushed Kendra’s hair behind her ear. It was so sweet, so domestic. She had never wanted to leave the moment
But, Alyssa’s phone had gone off and the warmth had left Kendra’s face.
Kendra had looked to the moon shining outside. It was too hard to watch Alyssa tell her parents they’d wrap the study session up.
Kendra had gone home.
Alyssa had probably gone to sleep afterward, but Kendra was not asleep at all. With twenty tabs open, she was questioning her entire life.
Sure, she might’ve glanced at Alyssa’s lips. Sure, Kendra would’ve closed her eyes—maybe for a kiss—if the phone hadn’t interrupted them. But that didn’t happen and there had been no kiss.
Not that Kendra wanted one. Although, Alyssa’s lips had looked really soft.
Butterflies stirred in Kendra’s stomach at the thought.
She opened another quiz website and scrolled to read the offerings.
“Are you into women?”
It’s not like Kendra hadn’t considered it. It’s not like she ever would say no, she wasn’t. But not saying no didn’t mean she would say yes, either. That was scary.
“Are you in love with your best friend?”
Her mouse hovered over the quiz link. The click never came, however. She was too scared of what the answer might be.
Kendra leaned back and groaned into her hands—quietly, of course, she wouldn’t want to wake the house.
Why was this so difficult? Can’t Kendra just fast-forward to when she figured this all out? That would be so much nicer. She wouldn’t have to deal with all these butterflies, sickening layers of confusion, and a growing sense that she was not normal.
Kendra glanced toward her phone. She had put it on do-not-disturb for her and Alyssa’s study session before this whole fiasco, but the temptation to drown her thoughts with music and nonsense tiktoks was becoming more desirable by the second.
Her phone opened to a mess. 10 texts from Alyssa.
Oh no, oh no, oh no. What if she was suspicious? Suspicious of what? You know what! No! No! There was nothing to be suspicious of.
“Hey”
“Lol why aren’t you answering”
“Can I come over”
“Are you asleep or smth”
“I’ll pry open your window”
“I’m coming over”
“I will”
“I’m boreddd”
“You’re lucky we’re neighbors otherwise I wouldn’t walk this far”
“Going to get kidnapped for you mf”
Ding. An eleventh text.
“Here”
Kendra’s breath stopped short. Giddiness blossomed in her stomach. Not like it wasn’t always there around Alyssa, but Kendra had never acknowledged it before. Oh god, she acknowledged it.
Her fingers flew across the mousepad and exited out of her quiz-induced crisis.
A knock turned her attention to her window. Kendra scrambled across her bed and pushed her curtains apart.
There, in the snow, stood a shivering Alyssa. Frost tipped her short blonde hair and redness colored her cheeks and nose.
All the confusion from earlier had solidified into one fact. Alyssa was beautiful. She had always been beautiful.
Kendra slid the window open, allowing a few snowflakes to flutter in. “You’re insane! It’s so cold out.”
“I figured you’d keep me warm once I got here. What, with all your blankets and excessive body heat.”
“I’ll just not let you in if you insult me.”
“I said you were warm! Like a human radiator. That’s definitely not an insult.”
“I wouldn’t call it a compliment either.”
“More like an objective observation.” Alyssa smiled up at her.
Kendra rolled her eyes. “Do you need me to open the front door? My windows pretty high off the ground.”
“No, I got it.”
Before Kendra could say anything, the blonde took a running start and jumped at the wall. Her arms hooked over the sill, hands scrabbling for a hold.
Alyssa started to push herself up, but Kendra grabbed her shirt and pulled her inside.
A bunch of snowflakes accompanied Alyssa on her tumble to the ground.
Kendra shut the window with a click and turned to the girl on her floor. “You’ve got snow on my floor now.”
“A keepsake from the time I jumped through your window.”
“The keepsake is going to melt into my rug.”
“The keepsake is doing you a favor by cleaning your rug.” Alyssa stuck out a hand. “Help me up, I’m frozen.”
Kendra laughed and grabbed her hand. Alyssa yanked her down.
She caught herself on her elbows but she was completely on top of Alyssa. Her breath was immediately stolen.
Kendra gaped. Alyssa smiled underneath her. Underneath her. Did Alyssa always have a freckle on her cheek?
“Oops,” said the girl who knew exactly what she just did. “Remember what we were doing before my phone rang?”
“Studying,” Kendra replied breathlessly.
“After that.”
“Talking,” Kendra pushed onto her hands, but didn’t quite want to leave her position. “We were talking.”
Alyssa’s face fell a bit. “Just that? Really?”
“I don’t, I don’t know.” Kendra flicked between Alyssa’s doe eyes. “It was nice.”
“What was nice?” Alyssa reached up to tuck Kendra’s hair behind her ear. “Was this nice?”
“Yes.” Kendra unknowingly leaned into Alyssa’s hand. “It is.”
Alyssa’s hand cradled the side of Kendra’s face. “I love you.”
It wasn’t like the light-hearted, easy I love you’s thrown around before. It was heavy with certainty.
So heavy that Kendra found her head dipping. Alyssa moved her hand to the back of Kendra’s neck and closed the distance.
Alyssa’s lips were as soft as Kendra had ever thought. Ever dreamed.
Kendra pulled away. “I love you too.”
Alyssa looped her arms around Kendra’s neck. “I know.”
Well, she liked Alyssa. Alyssa was a girl.
Kendra liked girls.
Oh, wow, she really did like girls.
As she went in for another kiss, all Kendra could think was “hell yeah.”