Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“This feels a little awkward.”

“Just ignore us,” the videographer says, smiling as she lowers her equipment and smiles encouragingly. “We get the best footage when you just pretend we’re not here.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says, pressing his lips together and knowing full well his awkwardness is a product of how nervous he feels. “Um… do you need water or anything?”

The young woman snickers and shakes her head. “No, Jungkook-ssi, thank you.”

Since Jungkook finished getting his hair and makeup done, the presence of anyone in the room who wasn’t Taehyung, Jimin, or Namjoon was beginning to put him on edge. Even the hairdressers and makeup artists had volunteered to leave, easily sensing how anxious he was. And having cameras in his face right now felt suffocating.

“Why don’t you take some shots of the ring?” Taehyung suggests, walking over to the coffee table in the middle of the suite and crouching down. He plucks a few flowers from the bouquet in the vase and lays them out on the wood before taking the ring he’s holding for Jungkook and setting it down amongst the petals. He whispers his next words. “Maybe give Jungkook some space to breathe.”

“Good idea, Taehyung-ssi,” the videographer agrees, following his suggestion and filming clips of the gold band.

“And if you get bored of the ring, you can film me,” Jimin says cheekily, leaning against the arm of the velvet couch and grinning. “I’m a model, you know!”

Namjoon sighs. “I think she understood what your occupation was after the third time you mentioned it, Jimin-ah.”

“You shush.”

Taehyung puts his hands in his pockets and walks over to Jungkook, eyes still on the ring to make sure he doesn’t let it out of his sight. He doesn’t want to think about the conniption Jungkook would have if he lost it.

“What’s taking Lia so long to come get us?” Jungkook asks through gritted teeth, eyes flitting to the clock for what has to be the hundredth time in the last five minutes. The wedding planner is five minutes late—an eternity for someone who is constantly 10 minutes early.

“I’m sure she got caught up in something else,” Taehyung explains. “You know how she is. She’s probably given herself a cushion of like, an hour just in case anything goes wrong.” Jungkook looks at him with huge, worried eyes. “Not that anything has gone wrong! Nothing is wrong! She’s probably just off yelling at some incompetent employees.”

He groans, letting his face fall into his hands.

“No, none of that,” Jimin chastises, standing to pull his hands away from his face. “Can’t ruin your makeup on your own wedding day.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon sighs from where he’s leaning against the table in front of him. “Don’t worry. It’s not a wedding if we don’t fall a little bit behind schedule.”

“Did she run behind schedule for your wedding?” Jungkook asks Taehyung.

He shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably. “I…”

“See!” Jungkook shouts, unknowingly startling the videographer. “What if Jin hyung got cold feet and Lia has no idea how to tell me?” he worries aloud, raising his hand to bite his nail for half a second before Jimin slaps it away. “Lia is scary but she would never have the heart to tell me something like that. What if she ran away too?!”

“Okay, you’re being ridiculous,” Taehyung says, blowing a raspberry. “Seokjin hyung would never leave you at the altar. If anything, I’m sure he’s afraid you’ll be the one leaving him at the altar.”

“Yah!” Jimin shouts, slapping Taehyung’s arm.

“Oh my god, does hyung think I’d leave him at the altar?!” Jungkook shoots up from his seat in a panic.

“No!” everyone shouts, Taehyung’s hands ushering Jungkook back into his seat immediately.

“Sorry, sorry!” Taehyung apologizes hurriedly, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. He isn’t built to take on stressful endeavors like being a best man, and Jungkook’s nerves are rubbing off on him. “It was a joke but that wasn’t funny. I just mean he would never do that to you, Jungkook-ah. And even if he did, don’t you think Yoongi hyung or Hobi hyung would have texted one of us?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes at his groomsmen.

“What…?” Namjoon asks, frowning.

“Did one of them text you?” Jungkook asks. “Is Seokjin hyung okay?”

“Oh my god, Kookie,” Jimin groans in exasperation. “Nobody texted us. I love you, but please stop worrying your pretty, little head about this. Everything is fine. It’s only been five minutes—”

“Six now!”

“—and literally no one in this world loves you more than Seokjin hyung does. Not even me,” Jimin admits. “Don’t let these ugly thoughts win. You’re fucking Jeon Jungkook. Hot as hell, winning smile, a best-selling author.” The accolade still makes Jungkook smile shyly even though it’s been two years. “No more sulking! Happy time! Someone get this man a shot!”

Namjoon doesn’t wait to be told again, walking to the bar cart Lia had set up in the room for them. He comes back with four shots of a clear liquid, and they cheers before downing it.

“Another maybe?” Jungkook asks weakly, face scrunched up in distaste.

Before Namjoon can move to take his shot glass for a refill, there’s a knock on the door, and Jungkook is on his feet, gripping Taehyung’s arm nervously.

“Ah!” Jimin looks at Jungkook pointedly and smiles. “Must be Lia!”

The model moves to open the door, his grin widening when he sees who it is.

“Lia!” he greets, opening the door wider to let the wedding planner in. Jungkook sighs in relief, his entire body sagging against Taehyung’s.

“Hi, Jimin-ssi!” Lia says, voice so chipper, it almost convinces Jungkook he was worried for nothing. Almost.

“Is everything okay?” he asks before he can even think to stop himself.

Lia tilts her head, her ponytail swaying to one side as she does. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Oh…” Jungkook clears his throat awkwardly, not wanting to accuse the very type A wedding planner of being late. “I just expected you a little earlier so I got nervous.”

Lia’s mouth makes a small o before she laughs. “I have the clocks set 15 minutes ahead in both rooms for any wedding I work,” she explains. “Just to keep everyone on schedule! So I’m actually—” she checks the slender diamond encrusted watch on her wrist. “—nine minutes early!”

Jungkook blinks at her, not knowing what to say or do now that he knows he embarrassed himself with crazy scenarios for no reason.

“Is everything okay, Jungkook-ssi?” Lia asks with a little uncertainty .

“Oh, he’s fine,” Taehyung waves a hand as he laughs a little nervously. “Should we get going to the first look?”

Lia shakes her head. “Actually, I have something for you first. Or—well, someone.”

She turns toward the door and a member of Seokjin’s wedding party pokes her head into the room.

“Yeji-yah!” Jungkook shrieks in delight. He immediately steps forward and envelops her in a hug as if he hadn’t just seen her at the rehearsal dinner the night before.

“Oppa, you look so handsome!” she gasps, slapping Jungkook’s chest playfully. She looks around and her mouth falls open in impressed shock. “You all do! Wow! Sexy men, all of you.”

They all thank her as she takes turns hugging each of them hello.

“How’s everything over there?” Jungkook asks, massaging his palms nervously.

“Yoongi oppa looks very handsome,” she answers, winking at Taehyung, who laughs. “And Hobi oppa is very ready to find a wedding lay, something I’m informed is a normal occurrence.”

“Okay, okay, but what about Jin hyung?” Jungkook asks, waving off her updates about his other hyungs.

She wags a finger at him and shakes her head. “Sorry, no can do, Jungkook-ssi!” she playfully reverts back to the honorific. “You’ll have to see for yourself in a little bit.”

“Patience, Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon nods. “We’re about to go see him. Everything’s going to be fine.” Jungkook has nothing else to do but sigh heavily.

“Hwang Yeji,” Jimin smiles, gesturing to her outfit. “You really should let me get you signed to my agency. Look at you!”

Even if she weren’t the only woman in the entire wedding party, Yeji would steal the show. Of course, just like the rest of them, she was styled by Sangjoon, but the way her suit fits on her makes her look like she should be walking a runway with Jimin.

“Yah, don’t flatter me like that,” Yeji pouts. “I’ll get hooked on the attention and we’ll get sidetracked, and that can’t happen because I am here on a very important mission.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows rise. “Oh?”

She tries and fails to suppress a smile as she brings a small wrapped box Jungkook hadn’t noticed she was holding behind her forward. He frowns as he takes it, his eyes immediately drawn to the dried flowers taped down to it.

“It’s from Seokjin-nim,” she explains, going to stand next to Lia, who closes the door for the time being. “A little don’t-be-nervous gift, as he described it.”

Jungkook’s anxiety shatters pathetically at that moment, the shards of it falling away into oblivion as he stares at the package, almost feeling like Seokjin’s arms are wrapped around him at this moment.

The gift is carefully wrapped in eggshell colored paper and twine, with two dried daffodils taped in the corner and a small scribble that he recognizes as Seokjin’s handwriting.

Just you and me, yeobo.

Just before they bid each other goodbye last night after the rehearsal dinner, Seokjin asked Jungkook if he was nervous. Back then, when the thought of his fiancé leaving him at the altar hadn’t even crossed his mind, his answer had been no.

“Me neither,” Seokjin said softly, his hands cradling his face. “I’ve never been surer of anything. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Jungkook smiled and kissed him several times. “Me too, hyung.”

“Just in case you do get nervous, and I can’t be there to calm you down before we do this whole thing…” Seokjin said, brushing Jungkook’s once-again blonde hair behind his ear. “Just remember that it’s you and me, okay?”

“You and me,” Jungkook repeated.

“Nothing else matters.”

Just you and me, yeobo. He runs his fingers over the writing, a small smile on his lips.

“Well?” Jimin ushers him impatiently. “Open it!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes before laughing, his mood already infinitely lighter than it had been just moments ago. He sits down on the couch and begins to unwrap the present carefully, wanting to take Seokjin’s handwritten message as a keepsake. He rips the corner with the reminder and the flowers away from the rest of the paper and tucks it into the inside of his jacket pocket before taking the box out from under the wrapping paper.

He uncovers the plain white lid and finds a letter with his name on it, neatly folded up and resting atop white tissue paper—not unlike the letter he found on the plane to New York a decade ago. The rest of the room disappears in his peripherals as he unfolds it, his heart warming at the sight of more of Seokjin’s handwriting.

My Jungkook-ah,

You’re putting on a brave face now but please. I know you’re going to get nervous. Luckily for you, I’ve thought ahead and prepared something I know will put you right at ease—something I’m confident will remind you of how much I love you. Because god, do I love you. I can’t believe I get to marry you.

It’s been a journey, right? We’ve known each other for almost half our lives at this point. Isn’t that odd to think about? I experienced more than enough without you by my side, but still, I have never felt more loved than I do right here with you. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t stop to think about how fucking lucky I am. After everything that happened, how is it possible that I still get to live this life with you? That I still get to share myself and everything I love with you?

I’m constantly thinking about how we got here because a part of me believes if I figure it out, then I’ll also figure out how to keep you here forever. Like maybe I’ll retrace our steps and somewhere along the way, I’ll better understand how best to love you and care for you and hold you—make you feel as loved as you make me feel.

Do you remember the night you moved to Itaewon? I helped you unpack your room and you sent me home with your journal. I still hear your voice when I think of that night. Do you remember what you said? “I want you to know how happy I was too.”

I never read your journal, Jungkook-ah. It felt wrong—not exactly an invasion of privacy since you did give me permission. I just felt like revisiting that time of our lives wouldn’t serve our present selves. At least not when I can already see with my own two eyes how happy you are with me now. There’s no doubt in my mind. But don’t worry, I did find use for it!

I know myself. I know I’ll never shake the feeling that this is some kind of unreal dream I’ll have to wake up from someday. Even decades from now, when we’re old and can hardly remember each other’s names, I know I’ll still wonder how we got here and how we managed to find our way back to each other. And now I’ll be able to retrace my steps—and I suppose yours—easily.

I hope you’ll read my words and you’ll know how happy you’ve made me too. I’m so happy, yeobo. I’m happy we became the men we did. I’m happy we came back to each other. I’m happy we made the city we were in the city that worked for us. Most of all, I’m just happy I get to give you a new letter to read instead of that depressing one from LA I know you still have.

Now open the rest of this gift, and remember all the endless reasons that I love you. Thank you for everything.

Love, Seokjin hyung

By the time he’s done reading the letter, his face is tear stained, but he doesn’t have it in him to be worried about his makeup. All he has room in his body to feel at the moment is gratitude. To whom or what, he’s not sure, but as he sits here, just hours away from his wedding to the love of his life, all he can feel is grateful that everything happened the way it did. After the way he and Seokjin hurt each other and healed each other, they finally got to find a home with one another.

He folds the letter up and hands it to Taehyung, who takes it, along with the ring for safe keeping. He lifts the tissue paper out of the box and feels the air leave him abruptly.

“Oh my god.”

“What?” Taehyung asks nervously. “Are you okay?”

“What is it?” Even Namjoon can’t help his curiosity.

Jungkook doesn’t bother answering anyone as he throws the tissue paper aside and runs his fingers across the purple-grey suede of the journal he hasn’t seen in years. Seokjin kept it pristine, looking as brand new as the day Jungkook first bought it in a bookstore in LA. He slowly unwraps the thin piece of leather holding it closed, looping it around his finger as he does.

He hasn’t even read anything yet and he already feels a lump forming in his throat—the same kind that forms whenever the clouds roll in and it starts to smell like rain. For a long time before coming back to Seoul, Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to read this particular journal. It was full of his very best memories from LA, and a lot like the beginnings of his reunion with Seokjin, it pained him to experience that happiness knowing he had single-handedly ruined it. And although he’s past these feelings of guilt, he still can’t help the almost Pavlovian response he has to the journal.

Taking a deep breath to ready himself, Jungkook takes the satin ribbon and turns to the page Seokjin left the marker in.

The first page makes Jungkook laugh immediately.

Finally told you I loved you. Oh, and we had sex. It was mind-blowing. Thanks for that!

In the corner, a sliver of the condom wrapper Jungkook remembers tearing is taped to the paper with an arrow pointing to it and the words, Best dick in LA (no, THE WORLD!)

Page after page, he watches his relationship with Seokjin unfold, and his heart grows 10 times bigger with each entry.

>> Had a bad day today. My anxiety got the best of me and I had to work overtime to remind myself it wouldn’t chase you away. And of course it didn’t. You make me feel so safe.

>> I found out what a rumex flower is. You think you’re so slick, huh? Well, one day, when we get married, I’m going to get a tiger flower tattooed on me. I think you’d love that. You always wanted to watch me get one. Can’t wait to experience that with you.

>> Talked to my mom today and she says I seem different. She says I’m happier and more vibrant. When she meets you, I know she’ll understand why.

>> Today, I took you biking along the river and you had so much fun. I love that so much about you… the way the little things really bring you so much joy. You live life so fully and it inspires me to do the same. Here’s a small daisy you put in my hair when we stopped for lunch. My first pressed flower! How’d I do?

>> It rained today. It was a really hard one for you. You cried all day and I held you through it and it hurts so badly to see you like that, but I hope you know I’m so happy to be someone who can help shoulder this burden with you. I love you so much, Jungkook-ah.

“Jungkook-ssi,” Lia clears her throat politely. “We’re going to need to head out in a minute or two for the first look.”

“Ah!” he immediately gets up, clutching the journal to his chest. The promise of seeing Seokjin right now outweighs his desire to read the journal cover to cover. “I, uh—”

“Here,” Lia extends a hand. “I can take it for safekeeping and we’ll make sure it’s delivered to your room before the end of the night.”

Jungkook sighs with relief, bowing gratefully. “Thank you, Lia.”

She smiles, taking the journal and motioning to Taehyung to give her the letter as well. He hands it over and she holds the items close to her and nods once.

“Okay, is everyone ready to go?” she asks, making chills run down Jungkook’s spine.

“Jungkook-ah.” Jimin steps toward him with a handkerchief and dabs gently at his cheeks, an encouraging smile on his perfect face. “There, can’t even tell you cried like a big baby.”

Namjoon snorts. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m so ready,” he says with no hesitation, grinning. “I’m going to marry the hell out of that man.”

Taehyung smiles widely, the tension in his shoulders visibly dissipating as he claps. “Yay, Jungkook-ah! That’s the spirit! Let’s do this!”

They each take turns clapping Jungkook on the back before Lia leads them out, Yeji looping her arm through Jungkook’s like she’s part of his party instead of Seokjin’s. She smiles warmly at him as they follow Lia.

“You know,” Yeji says quietly as the others make small talk among themselves. “Seokjin-nim hasn’t been quite the same since you came back into his life.”

Jungkook glances at her. “When are you going to stop calling him that?”

“When he’s no longer my boss,” she says quickly. “So hopefully never.” Jungkook laughs. “No, but really. I thought the sun shined out of his ass before, but… it’s so easy to see how much better you make him, oppa.”

Jungkook hums. “I think he’s done a lot more for me than I have for him.”

“I think you underestimate how much you’ve done for him,” she argues. “He’s always been an amazing person. Of course, I knew he had his bad days,” Yeji explains as they turn the corner and Lia leads them down the stairs. “But he was always adamant about hiding that side of him, especially at work. He tried his best to be transparent about it to teach me it was okay to not be okay, but… I always knew he was stifling parts of himself.”

Jungkook nods, looking at her as he listens intently.

“When you came back into the picture, he embraced himself more fully,” Yeji says, squeezing Jungkook’s forearm. “It was so fascinating to watch—seeing how love can push someone into stepping into their true self.”

“He does the same for me,” he says, meaning it. “I’m the best version of myself now.”

Yeji smirks. “Well, duh, Mr. Best-Selling Author.”

“Stop it,” Jungkook mutters, shaking his head. Her laughter dies down with a content sigh.

“It’s a little funny seeing the effects of romance on a person even when you don’t spend too much time with both halves of the couple… I guess that’s what real love is, huh? It’s easy to see in the way someone just chooses to live their life.”

“And you think Seokjin hyung chooses to live his life differently because of me?”

“Oh, I know it,” Yeji nods. “God, I used to think I knew what love was, but I definitely had to reevaluate that after you came barging in with your damn lunches.”

Jungkook laughs at that. “How are things with your girlfriend?”

“Perfectly imperfect,” Yeji says proudly. “Just the way Seokjin-nim taught me.”

Before Jungkook can respond, Lia is pressing the piece in her ear and speaking.

“We’re right outside the garden,” she announces to her assistant. “Is Seokjin-ssi ready?” she pauses for a response. “Okay, we’re going to prep the groom.”

She turns to Jungkook and smiles, hand coming forward and offering a piece of cloth.

“What’s this?” Jungkook asks, raising an eyebrow at it.

“Blindfold!” Lia is too amused at this.

“You didn’t blindfold me and Yoongi hyung for our first look,” Taehyung comments curiously.

“Seokjin-ssi said he didn’t trust Jungkook to keep his eyes closed before it was time,” Lia explains, very obviously suppressing laughter. Jungkook groans because he knows his soon-to-be husband is completely right. He would have opened his eyes almost immediately. “So… blindfold it is.”

“Okay, okay, but please be careful of his makeup,” Jimin says, proving to be the most devoted advocate for Jungkook’s face today.

“Yes, will do, Jimin-ssi,” Lia nods, motioning for Jungkook to turn so she can blindfold him.

He turns and faces Taehyung and Yeji, both grinning at him with so much excitement, he wants to cry again.

“The next time you open your eyes, you’ll be seeing your husband,” Taehyung says, misty-eyed.

“Any last words?” Namjoon asks.

Yeji snorts. “He’s getting married, not dying!”

Jimin shrugs. “Tomato, tomato.” Namjoon laughs and throws an arm over the model.

“Nope,” Jungkook says, nodding at Lia to go ahead. “I’m readier than I’ve ever been for anything in my life.”

“Wow, this might be the easiest wedding I ever do then,” Lia smiles.

“Yah,” Taehyung mumbles.

Lia laughs. “Aish, Taehyung-ssi, you know your wedding was my dream wedding… but your mom was very—”

“Okay, yeah, fair,” Taehyung cuts her off, needing no further explanation.

The blindfold covers Jungkook’s eyes and everything turns black, not a ray of light seeping through the fabric. Lia takes his hand and sets it on her forearm.

“We’re entering with the groom,” she says into her earpiece.

She leads him forward across the threshold and into the garden, and Jungkook can’t describe it, but the air around him changes—feels charged with something he can’t quite put his finger on; he just knows it feels enchanting against his skin. They take several steps, his friends all making various comments about how beautiful the garden looks and how great of a job Lia and her team did.

“Two steps up,” Lia warns him, slowing to make sure he doesn’t trip. Once they’re up the steps, she stops him, hands on his upper arms as she directs him to a spot and leaves him there. Without saying anything, she takes his hand and before he knows it, Seokjin’s is in his.

He can’t help the gasp that escapes his mouth.

He hears Seokjin chuckle as he squeezes his hand.

“Okay, you’re back-to-back with your fiancé,” Lia informs them. “When I tell you to turn around, please do so without removing your blindfolds—”

“Ah, so you couldn’t take the temptation either,” Jungkook smiles triumphantly.

“Yah, you brat, I just wanted to keep things fair, so I let them blindfold me too,” Seokjin protests. “I can keep my cool.”

“Please, you were so dying to see me—”

“Oh my god,” Jungkook hears Yoongi groan. “Can you let your fucking wedding planner talk?”

There’s a chorus of laughs as Jungkook presses his lips together, trying his best not to smile.

“Thank you, oppa,” Lia giggles. “Like I said, I’ll tell you to turn around and you’ll keep your blindfolds on. I’ll count to three and we’ll take the blindfolds off for you. Sounds good?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Seokjin says. Jungkook nods.

“Alright then!” Lia claps. “Lights, please.” There are a few scattered gasps.

“Oh, that’s lovely,” Hoseok breathes somewhere behind Jungkook.

“And the fountain.”

The sound of running water fills Jungkook’s ears, soft and peaceful.

“Okay, gentlemen, please turn around,” Lia directs them.

Seokjin keeps his grip on Jungkook as they clumsily turn around, their other hands joining now too. His thumbs run across Jungkook’s skin, feeling a lot like fire, and all he wants to do is throw himself into Seokjin’s arms and beg him to get married right there—screw the wedding, their guests, everything else. All he’s ever wanted was to call Seokjin’s his anyway.

Jungkook feels someone undoing his blindfold and he takes in a shallow breath, holding it there involuntarily. They hold the cloth in place once the knot behind his head is undone, and he hears Lia’s voice once more.

“Okay, please open your eyes and say hello to your soon-to-be husband,” Lia says as their blindfolds are taken away from their eyes.

Their surroundings melt away as Jungkook finally lays eyes on Seokjin again—the most generous glimpse he’ll ever get at how sweet his future promises to be. He sees sunlight on the darkest, rainiest days. He sees pages and pages of pressed flowers and declarations of love. He sees children sandwiched between the two of them in bed. Rings on freckled, wrinkled fingers.

He exhales, the weight of everything that has ever hurt him leaving his body all at once.

“I’m home.”