Chapter Text
The endless war was endless after all. After the eon-raging conflict supposedly ended, it began again. Apparently the two sides - John Kramer and Saw - had just been on a timeout.
Thankfully, this time, Jerma was not drafted into the war and continued his studies at Chogborts, specifically wetwipeomancy, as that was his one and only major.
Hey, readers, briefly interjecting here to remind you of Jerma’s t-rex fossil, crazy right? And the incident?! (That shall remain unnamed) Crazy. My favourite part was the second event (That shall also remain unnamed), I’m told Jerma turning into a Digimon was cooler, but that’s the opinion of someone from Transsexual in the galaxy Transylvania.
Jerma continued his studies, and the writer(s(? You’ll never know) made sure to correctly punctuate the fanfiction and use all the correct grammar. All the spelling mistakes were even corrected!
Jerma continued his studies.
His sins weigh heavily upon his shoulders. Jerma has committed many atrocities, many occurring during the endless war.
Jerma continued his studies.
“Sir?” he asked, raising his hand.
“Yes, Nine-Eight-Five?” the professor, Ermajay Sholiver responded. He often referred to his students by their last names, one of those weird things teachers do.
“What is a “Elfcestsay Ursecay”? I found the spell in my textbook but I’ve not seen it before.” Jerma asked. Professor Sholiver waved his hand dismissively,
“Don’t worry about that Nine-Eight-Five,” he said “That’s for ninth years. You’ll learn about it eventually. Just focus on your wetwipe blasts. Make Professor Ulius and your father proud.”
He winked at Jerma, and Jerma didn’t like that, it made him uncomfortable. He made a mental note to report that to the school’s HR. Teachers should always act professionally around their pupils. Except for that one time.
Jerma continued his studies.
Professor Sholiver’s sins weigh heavily upon his shoulders.
Back at the Scrunglygas dormitory, Jerma and his classmates Stitch and Lilo played Digimon. Lilo reminded Jerma of when he transformed into a Digimon, and offended, Jerma reminded Lilo of when he had intercourse with her older sister, Nani, and gave her a niece. Lilo began to cry and left, so Jerma continued playing Digimon with just Stitch. They finished their game and heckled their classmates Joseph Stalin and Yanbray who were playing Yu-Gi-Oh; a game for degenerates.
Jerma continued his studies (Homework (Getting scared)).
In bed, Jerma decided to have a go at that Elfcestsay Ursecay spell that he saw in his textbook. Because Professor Sholiver was a disgusting pervert, Jerma ignored what he told him.
With a flick of his magic wand that was not a wand but a rubber chicken, Jerma cast the spell. He instantly regretted it. Maybe he should have listened to the debauchee teacher.
A CGI beam of green light shot from Jerma’s ‘wand’ and crashed into his classmate Fuqing Yormuther, also known as the villainous Herobrine. Suddenly, Herobrine became boobily breasted and a second Herobrine appeared, phasing out of him like a ghost. Turns out the ‘Elfcestsay Ursecay’ was actually a ‘Selfcest Curse’ and that was exactly what Jerma witnessed, much to his horror and dismay, Herobrine fucked his doppelganger, Herobrine.
Kinda gay.
Our sins weigh heavily upon our shoulders.
Herobrine is - was - a myth (His crossover to reality remains a mystery (Even to elite intellectuals like Chogborts’ headmaster Dingle Domp)). Herobrine, rumoured to possess dark and enigmatic powers, exhibited those powers that night. Herobrine and Herobrine, the two halves of one one of both and sometimes two, finished their sexual encounter and turned to Jerma. He feared for his life, and his sphincter, but instead of coming onto him, Herobrine and Herobrine raised their arms threateningly, as if to shoot lasers out of their palms. No palm-lasers were fired, however, in the blink of an eye, Jerma passed out and woke up again, unsure of where he was now or how much time had passed. He groaned, he was achy. He rubbed his eyes and stretched and took in the landscape around him. Jerma was no longer watching Herobrine and Herobrine canoodle from behind his fingers, he was inside their homeworld, Minecraft!