Chapter Text
The next morning, Atsumu was not woken by the warmth of the sun on his skin or the soft sounds of birds chirping through the open window. He was instead woken by Sakusa frantically shaking his shoulder and hissing, ‘Wake the fuck up, Atsumu. Why do you sleep like you’re dead?’
With a groan, Atsumu tried to bat Sakusa’s hands away; his eyes felt too heavy to open. ‘Because I am dead,’ he vaguely remembered saying before burying his face back into a soft pillow.
Suddenly, his body was enveloped in cold air as Sakusa tugged the blankets from him. ‘Don’t fall asleep again. I'm warning you.’
‘Why? What time is it?’ Atsumu grumbled, half-heartedly groping around the mattress for his phone. It was probably too early for this, it felt like he’d only been asleep for a few moments. He needed at least another three hours to even think about functioning properly—
‘Eleven,’ Sakusa said tersely.
Atsumu’s eyes snapped open. ‘No,’ he said. ‘It can’t be, I set my—’
His phone screen caught his attention, the one clearly displaying the time as 11:04.
They’d overslept. By three hours.
At least, Atsumu thanked his past self’s good sense, he had remembered to message Hinata of his whereabouts before sleeping. Hopefully, he and Bokuto had provided sufficient cover for their absence.
‘Shit.’ Atsumu sprang up and rubbed a hand over his face to wake himself up. He’d never been late to work. In all his time at MSBY. Not after karaoke nights, or game nights, not even after heists on far grander scales than the one they’d performed last night. ‘Yer a bad influence, Omi,’ he said.
Sakusa sent him a blank look as he finished tucking his shirt into his slacks. He’d already showered and gotten himself dressed; Atsumu was still processing the concept of being awake. ‘You turn up on my doorstep at ass o’clock in the morning and have the audacity to call me the bad influence?’
Not only that, but Atsumu had also been the one to re-instigate their make out session the second Sakusa moved them to his bed after staunchly vowing they’d do little else other than sleep. It turned out Sakusa’s resolve was pretty weak when it came to sticking to the ‘one more kiss’ vow. In the end, they hadn’t fallen asleep until the sun was threatening to rise.
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu insisted. He got out of bed and started stretching the sleep out of his limbs. ‘Today we’re late for work, tomorrow I’m in yer bike gang beating up kids and takin’ their lunch money.’
Sakusa scoffed. ‘They’d never let you in.’
‘Liar. You know they’d love me. Rumour has it I’m irresistible. My wit and charm alone would guarantee me a—Ack!’ he squawked as Sakusa threw the jacket he’d discarded last night at his face. Voice muffled beneath the fabric he demanded, ‘What was that for?’
He heard Sakusa stalk over and then he was being herded out of Sakusa’s bedroom and into the living room. ‘Do your brain cells not work in the morning?’ he asked, hands steering Atsumu’s shoulders the correct way. ‘We’re late. At the same time. Meian’s going to want to know why.’
In the rush of everything that had happened last night, Atsumu hadn’t had the chance to appreciate Sakusa’s apartment. Looking at it now, he wasn’t surprised to find that he thought it was very… Sakusa: minimalist and immaculate, but with accents of intrigue like the family portrait on the wall next to one of the framed shots from their vintage photoshoot.
Atsumu stopped short and Sakusa bumped into him from behind. He spun around and grinned lazily up at him. ‘Don’t worry about that,’ he said. ‘I’m a genius, remember? I have my ways of getting around Meian.’
Sakusa’s face pinched into a grimace. ‘If your way includes faking diarrhoea again, I’d rather just get fired. Or die.’
‘Bit dramatic.’
‘Is it? It’s been a week and sometimes Meian still looks at you like you’re a walking biohazard.’
Atsumu shivered. That was true. With every mouthful of food that Atsumu swallowed during their meal with the client he could feel Meian’s gaze on him, waiting for something to happen. He couldn’t wait for the gathering to be over just so he could set the record straight.
‘Bokkun won’t use that one again. Probably.’
‘Forgive me for not feeling adequately inspired.’
Atsumu hummed and snatched the opportunity being presented to him. ‘I think I know a way to adequately inspire ya.’ He wound his hands around Sakusa’s waist, pulled him in, and exaggeratedly puckered his lips.
Apparently, two hours spent kissing was enough for Sakusa to build a sufficient immunisation to Atsumu’s wiles. He didn’t blush, or coyly drop his gaze to Atsumu’s lips like he had done since Saturday. Instead, he scoffed, covered Atsumu’s entire face with his hand and pushed his head away. ‘You can adequately inspire me by putting your shoes on and getting in the car.’
Atsumu pouted, but nevertheless complied. ‘Don’t think I’ve ever heard of that kink before,’ he said as he shuffled over to the door and stepped into his shoes. ‘Is it the shoe thing or the car thing that gets you goin’?’
Suddenly, Sakusa was behind him, speaking lowly into his ear. ‘It’s the shutting-the-fuck-up-and-doing-as-you’re-told thing.’
Atsumu blinked at his shoelaces, unable to remember how to tie them. ‘Oh,’ he said and cleared his throat. ‘Right. Huh. I can work with that. Watch.’ He tucked his laces into the sides of his shoes and seductively opened the door to step outside. When he turned around to assess Sakusa’s reaction, Atsumu found him watching with a raised eyebrow and small smile.
Atsumu winked. ‘How was that?’
‘Be still my beating heart,’ Sakusa drawled as he turned and locked the apartment door behind him. ‘I am overcome with uncontrollable lust.’
‘Ha. Knew it. I can see it in yer eyes. You wanna kiss me so bad.’
Sakusa hummed noncommittally. ‘Against my better judgement, yeah.’
Atsumu grabbed Sakusa’s hand as they started for the stairs. ‘It’s alright, Omi-Omi, I don’t blame ya,’ he told him and swung their arms about happily. ‘No need to be embarrassed. You might not have voted for me, but like I told ya before, officially, rightfully, and legally I am MSBY’s Most Handsome Thief.’
‘I lied,’ Sakusa blurted.
‘Hm?’
‘About voting for you. I did. Every time.’
Atsumu laughed and looked across to find the familiar blush decorating Sakusa’s cheeks again. ‘I’m still contractually obliged to tell you the truth,’ Atsumu said. ‘So I’m gonna be completely honest and admit I didn’t vote for you. I also voted for myself.’
Sakusa snorted. ‘Of course you did.’
‘Every vote counts.’
‘Does it?’
Atsumu grinned. ‘‘Course. ‘Specially yours.’
Sakusa’s nose wrinkled. ‘Is this going to be a recurring thing?’ he grumbled as they reached the bottom floor. ‘You being insufferably corny?’
Atsumu stopped. ‘Aha! I’ve worked it out!’
Sakusa shrank back and narrowed his eyes. ‘Worked what out?’
‘Why yer nose wrinkles.’
‘It doesn’t wrinkle.’
‘Does too. And it’s real cute.’
‘No it doesn’t.’
‘It does! It’s because yer flustered, and I’ll prove it.’ He pushed forward into Sakusa’s space until Sakusa backed up into the wall beside the stairwell.
Atsumu didn’t think he was wrong about this. Every time he could recall Sakusa’s nose wrinkling it had been after Atsumu had said something unknowingly flirtatious. All this time he’d thought he’d been pissing Sakusa off, riling him up, getting under his skin, and he’d just been flustering him like some kind of oblivious idiot.
‘Well?’ Sakusa prompted when Atsumu just stood there pondering.
‘I’m gonna be totally honest, I had somethin’ I was gonna say, but the second I got this close I forgot ‘cause now all I can think about is kissin’ ya.’
Sakusa’s eyes flew to the ceiling, and then back to Atsumu once he’d regained his poise.
They were still holding hands, so Atsumu drew small distracting circles on the back of Sakusa’s with his thumb. ‘That happens a lot, y’know. Thought you had superpowers for a while, ‘cause every time we get this close, I forget my own name.’ Atsumu leaned in closer, and he could see Sakusa’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously. His mouth parted slightly, as though inviting Atsumu in.
Atsumu shortened the distance again and said, ‘You’re so damn pretty, Kiyoomi,’ barely an inch from Sakusa’s mouth. Sakusa’s breath hitched and his hand holding Atsumu’s tightened.
Then Atsumu caught his nose wrinkle, leaned back and grinned. ‘Ha! See! You just did it again.’
Sakusa’s face dropped into an unamused scowl. If Atsumu wasn’t already stuck finding it endearingly adorable, he’d probably have reason to be worried for his own wellbeing. ‘Atsumu,’ he said calmly. ‘You’d better lean the fuck back in and finish what you started.’
Atsumu chuckled. ‘Yessir.’
Sakusa was waiting for him when their lips met, and his shoulders dropped like a sigh of relief when Atsumu’s free hand came up to rest against the crook of his neck. It was a kiss much like the first few tentative ones they’d shared the night before, because Atsumu was very much aware that they were standing in a public stairwell. It was almost chaste, but nonetheless sweet, and when Atsumu broke away with a smile, he couldn’t help but to sigh, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.’
Sakusa said, ‘If you’re going to insist on speaking like that, I’m going to have to take out life insurance,’ but the wrinkling of his nose said, ‘Neither will I.’
Sakusa dropped Atsumu off at his apartment to wash and get dressed, and while he was fussing with Hinata’s puppy - that was still curled up on the sofa for some reason - he got a reply from Bokuto stating he’d told Meian they were out on secondary heist business and that they could take all the time they needed, accompanied by three thousand winking-face emojis.
While Atsumu would have loved to take his sweet time getting into work, he didn’t want to chance getting on Meian’s bad side so soon before he was due to cause such a scene. The higher regard Atsumu kept him in of the Super Sexy Stealth Jackals, the less likely he would be to fire them the second the gathering was over.
‘You can unclench,’ he told Sakusa as he slipped back into the car. ‘Meian thinks we’re model students, out working the safe case.’
‘Thank god,’ Sakusa said. ‘I was on draft eight of my epitaph waiting for you to tell me we had food poisoning or something equally as stupid.’
‘Keep ‘em on standby. Yer one of us now. That’s bound to happen eventually.’
Before going back to work, they ended up driving to the building they were due to infiltrate after the gathering, because Atsumu wanted something to show for their absence and to milk as much time with Sakusa as he could.
They did some surface-level reconnaissance of the lobby’s security, and then Atsumu finessed their way into the security room under the pretence that they were architects looking to plan a new high-rise in the area. Atsumu took some subtle pictures of the set-up with his phone, while Sakusa spent a while asking the security guard questions he already knew the answers to until he got the information he needed.
According to Sakusa it wasn’t a security system he was familiar with, which meant before they could break into the penthouse apartment to access the safe, Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto would need to sneak into the security room and plug a remote USB into a tower so that Sakusa could get inside.
The safe would be the biggest problem; they’d either have to break in twice – once to determine the manufacturer of the safe, and another to break into it – or they’d somehow have to ascertain its properties through other means.
Despite it being a case other than the Monster Heist, they worked seamlessly. When it came to subterfuge, Sakusa didn’t question a single one of Atsumu’s decisions, he trusted him and played along with whatever stories Atsumu spun at far greater ease than he had done as a plumber. And when it came to hacking, Atsumu noted everything Sakusa said and started forming plans around his sound advice.
The whole time Atsumu couldn’t stop smiling. Life was good before, but now a whole new realm of possibilities had opened up that Atsumu was excited to explore. Working with Sakusa on ordinary cases was exhilarating; stuff Atsumu had to spend days begging Inunaki to do was suddenly just a footnote, something Sakusa could do in the blink of an eye.
They stopped for coffee and breakfast, and picked up a round of drinks for the office as a distraction, then Atsumu was back at his desk and Bokuto was handing him a bouquet of flowers and a ‘Congratulations On Your Engagement’ card, and Hinata was begging to be their best man.
‘It’s been five minutes,’ Atsumu protested with cheeks full of warmth.
Neither seemed to care; and neither did Inunaki, apparently, because he’d decorated Sakusa’s side of the office with congratulatory balloons and ‘Just Married’ banners. According to Adriah, most of MSBY had already assumed they were dating after karaoke night anyway. Atsumu tried not to be too bothered by the fact that everyone had spotted their budding relationship far sooner than he had. He was only slightly appeased to find out that Inunaki had worked it out long before Sakusa.
Meian let the office finish two hours early and told everyone to be at the Adlers’ building dressed sharply and behaving nicely at six o’clock. Atsumu’s apartment being a fifteen-minute walk from MSBY meant he and Hinata strolled back home leisurely. Sakusa insisted on giving him a ride to the gathering later since Bokuto had the van, and so that Atsumu could drink without having to worry about calling a taxi.
Hinata stuck around for a while, chatting, and showing Atsumu the tricks he’d taught Dog-Omi as he waited for Kageyama to pick him and his monumental amount of sleepover equipment up.
‘He still keeps gloating about the fact that he’s going to win tonight,’ Hinata grinned before he left. ‘He thinks I’ve been working more nights all this time because I’m sulking.’
‘That kid is as observant as a rock,’ Atsumu scoffed. ‘He probably won’t realise what’s happened ‘til yer there, rubbin’ it in his face.’
For a while Atsumu had worried that their defence was lacking when it came to Hinata and Kageyama sharing such close quarters. Hinata could be clumsy with his words, and was about as subtle as a brick. That quickly became no cause for concern, however, once Atsumu realised Kageyama only ever focussed on his own performance – he hadn’t even batted an eyelid at Hinata’s new dog being named after Sakusa. He probably didn’t even remember Sakusa’s name.
Once Hinata was gone, Atsumu threw himself down onto his bed, grabbed his phone and called Osamu, because he hadn’t yet had chance to wax poetic about Sakusa.
‘No dates at the restaurant,’ Osamu told him almost immediately after Atsumu was through recounting the story. He was still working; Atsumu could hear the crackle of plastic gloves and the distant sound of a knife chopping vegetables. ‘I don’t wanna see yer disgusting in-love-face while I’m tryin’ to work. It’s ugly.’
Atsumu knew that. He and Osamu shared the same damn face and he had to watch him make eyes at Suna all the time. If he looked even half as stupid in love as his brother, then he had a serious problem.
‘I’m gonna bring him every fuckin’ day,’ Atsumu said because he’d lost count of the times he’d third-wheeled Osamu and Suna over the years. ‘We’re gonna make out on the tables.’
Sakusa would under no circumstance ever do that, but the threat sounded good, and Osamu believed it well enough to start fake gagging.
They argued for ten whole minutes, trying to out-disgust and out-embarrass each other. Osamu threatened to get a restraining order, Atsumu threatened to break into his restaurant and throw his ingredients in the bin. Osamu threatened to turn him into the police, Atsumu threatened to use Sakusa’s connections to hire a hitman.
‘Seriously, though, Tsumu,’ Osamu said once they’d run out of threats. He was using the tone usually reserved for Deep Conversation, the same one Atsumu had used to comfort Osamu through his Suna Crisis. ‘I’m happy for ya. For some reason, Sakusa really seems to like you.’
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu said. ‘I know. I like him a lot too.’
Sometimes, he couldn’t quite believe it himself, how Sakusa looked at him, how affected he was by the smallest things Atsumu did.
‘Yeah’ Osamu said. ‘I know. I can tell. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?’
‘When have I ever fucked anythin’ up?’
‘Do you want an itemised list? Or the photographic evidence?’
‘I’ll take a better fuckin’ brother, if you’ve got one lyin’ around.’
Osamu scoffed. ‘You can look for a long damn time, Tsumu, but you won’t find a better brother than me.’
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu found himself saying. ‘I know.’
Osamu gagged again. ‘Ew,' he said. 'What the fuck? Yer supposed to say “Shouyou-kun would be a way better brother,” or “I’d rather be an only child,” or somethin’ equally as stupid.’
‘I’m in a good mood, Samu. Take it and shut the fuck up.’
He grumbled something under his breath that Atsumu didn’t quite catch but definitely ended in scrub, then he sighed and said, ‘Don’t you have a party to be gettin’ ready for?’
‘Yeah, I do. Why am I even still talkin’ to you?’
‘Hell if I know. Fuck off and good luck, or whatever.’
Atsumu took his time getting ready; he showered, ordered take-out, and put extra care and attention into getting his hair to sit just right. Before he put on his suit – a deep, wine-red three-piece – he strapped the rolled-up painting to his leg and tested his mobility. He could sit just fine without bending it. So long as he kept his leg straight and didn’t jump around too much, it would be fine for what he needed to do. Honestly, he didn’t care what happened to the painting after tonight; so long as it was theirs.
Twenty minutes earlier than scheduled, Sakusa knocked on his apartment door, which was a great idea and a good call, considering the moment Atsumu saw him in that suit again he couldn’t stop himself from running his hands over it appreciatively and subsequently pushing him against the wall.
‘Red is definitely your colour,’ Sakusa said against his lips, hand wrapped around Atsumu’s tie rather than tugging at his nicely styled hair.
Atsumu hummed. ‘Yeah, I know.’
Sakusa scoffed and loosened his grip. ‘I got you something,’ he said. ‘Well, I got them for everyone. But this one is yours.’
Atsumu leaned back and Sakusa’s hand dipped into his pocket. He brought out a small box, took Atsumu’s hand, and placed the box into his palm.
For a moment, Atsumu just stood, blinking at the box, then he shook his head and opened it. Inside, resting on cushioned velvet, was a golden lapel pin carved into the shape of a jackal head.
‘Holy shit,’ Atsumu breathed. ‘Are you serious?’
When he looked up, Sakusa was smiling smugly. ‘I had them commissioned,’ he said.
‘That’s so fuckin’ sexy of you.’
‘Yes,’ Sakusa said. ‘I know.’
Sakusa took the pin out of the box and fastened it to Atsumu’s lapel, just below his collarbone. He also straightened Atsumu’s tie out and tucked it neatly back into his waistcoat.
‘Thanks, Kiyoomi,’ Atsumu said as he watched Sakusa’s eyebrows knit in concentration. Sakusa nodded awkwardly as he ran his hands over Atsumu’s shoulders. ‘Also, thanks for the onigiri. All those times.’
Sakusa huffed out a laugh and pulled another box out of his pocket. He took the identical jackal pin out and started trying to fasten it to his own lapel, but his hands were uncharacteristically clumsy. ‘I was wondering when Osamu would betray me. I thought it would have been a whole lot sooner.’
Atsumu took the pin and did it for him. ‘You don’t know the true bastard Samu,’ he said with a focused frown. ‘The only reason he told me at all, was because he was certain me finding out now would make me look like an idiot.’
‘I’m glad he did. Since the tequila clearly didn’t work.’
‘Huh?’
‘I was hoping getting that drunk at karaoke would lead me into accidentally telling you how I felt,’ he said a little bitterly. ‘Turns out all it does it put you to sleep and give you the hangover of a lifetime.’
Atsumu laughed so hard he had to lean his head on Sakusa’s shoulder to keep himself from doubling over. ‘I’m glad you find my hopeless pining funny, Atsumu,’ he said as he thumped Atsumu’s back through his wheezing.
‘Fuck, sorry,’ Atsumu gasped. ‘It’s just—I mean… ya might not have said anythin’, but it definitely worked better than you think. You bein’ all adorable and handsy made me realise more than a few things.’
Sakusa raised a disbelieving brow, so Atsumu’s hands dipped down to rest on Sakusa’s waist and he pulled him close so that their bodies were flush against each other. He continued in Sakusa’s ear, ‘Like how nice it is when you lean on me.’ He pressed a light kiss against the mole just below his jawline and Sakusa’s breath hitched. ‘How cute you look when yer sleepin’.’ Sakusa’s grip on Atsumu’s shoulder tightened. ‘How good it feels to have you pinnin’ me down.’
Sakusa hissed when Atsumu nipped at the skin of his neck, and his fingers found the underneath of Atsumu’s chin to guide him back up to his lips. The kiss was overwhelming; Atsumu felt so much in the exchange of their tongues, the breathy gasps, and little noises Sakusa made whenever Atsumu bit at his lip or moved his knee between Sakusa’s legs.
Sakusa kissed him like every time their lips met might be their last, but that was fine. Atsumu made up for it by kissing him back like they were only just beginning forever.
They only separated when an alarm started sounding from Sakusa’s wristwatch. Atsumu broke away reluctantly and scowled at his wrist. ‘What’s that?’ he asked.
Sakusa was breathing heavily when he silenced it and said, ‘I set it. Just in case this happened. I didn’t want us to be late.’
‘What if I don’t care about being late? What if I wanna keep kissin’ you?’
‘You do care about being late,’ Sakusa insisted.
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu agreed. ‘I kinda do. Let’s go.’
They arrived at a good time; Meian, Inunaki, Hinata, and the Adlers were the only ones milling about in the lobby holding flutes of champagne. Atsumu and Sakusa joined in on a conversation between Hirugami and Meian about an upcoming team from Sendai. According to Hirugami there were some Monsters confusing the local law enforcement, stealing artifacts from museums and making large waves in the Miyagi contractual thieving scene.
As more people arrived, the Monsters broke off into a circle of their own, and Ushijima, wearing a far nicer suit than the karaoke tuxedo, extended a polite hand for Atsumu to shake. ‘I look forward to our battle next year, Miya,’ he said. ‘You are formidable opponents.’
Atsumu took his hand and shook it firmly. ‘We’ll get ya next time,’ he said, saccharine sweet. ‘That’s a promise.’
‘I must admit, I thought the whole Monster Heist a useless endeavour initially. But it turned out to be quite the test to steal from fellow thieves. I’d almost forgotten what a challenge felt like.’
‘Yes,’ Sakusa added indignantly. ‘How about that?’
‘Ah,’ Ushijima smiled. ‘Yes. It was your security I broke, wasn’t it, Sakusa-kun?’ Sakusa didn’t bother to reply, but Ushijima continued, ‘It was a nightmare to crack. Perhaps if you’d taken a more proactive approach to the heist, we might not have gotten it in time. You should consider involving yourself next year. It would certainly make things more interesting.’
‘I have better things to be doing,’ Sakusa drawled, ‘than wasting my time playing children’s games.’
Atsumu had to work very hard not to laugh, especially when he caught Hinata having his back thumped by Kageyama because he thought Hinata’s shaking chest and teary eyes were a result of him choking, rather than holding back his own laughter.
‘It’s not a children’s game,’ Hoshiumi interjected. ‘It’s top tier competition. You’re just pissed that your dumb team lost it for you.’
Atsumu supposed whatever threat Hirugami had placed over the Adlers to keep karaoke amicable had been scrapped for the gathering. Or perhaps, more simply, Hoshiumi no longer cared.
‘Hm? Are you sure?’ Sakusa asked and made a show of leaning down to Hoshiumi’s level. ‘Looks like they’re letting little kids play to me.’
Atsumu almost spat his champagne out through his nostrils. Hinata let the laugh out.
‘Hah?’ Hoshiumi growled. He tried to shrug himself out of his suit jacket, but he didn’t quite know who to square up to: Hinata laughing uncontrollably at him despite being shorter, or Sakusa leering down condescendingly. ‘You want to say that again, vampire man?’
‘Why? Do they not teach kids how to listen in school these days?’
Hoshiumi lunged forwards, but Hirugami – still locked in conversation with Meian – reached out and grabbed the back of his collar to stop him.
Everybody turned to face him, and when he finished his sentence, he smiled and said, ‘Perhaps it’s about time we all got settled into our seats. Why don’t you lead the way, Kourai-kun?’
Hoshiumi shrunk like a wet cat and sent Sakusa one last nasty look. ‘Fine,’ he spat. ‘Follow me, losers.’
Hoshiumi and Ushijima led the way to the conference room, while Hirugami and Meian stayed behind to welcome any more guests. While they were walking, Atsumu leaned in to say, ‘You got a death wish, Omi-kun? Everyone knows not to start short discourse with Hoshiumi.’
‘Then he should have kept his mouth shut,’ Sakusa shrugged. ‘Besides, what’s he going to do? Bite my ankles?’
‘Ha! Good one, Omi-san!’ Hinata jeered.
‘I heard that!’ Hoshiumi called from the front. ‘From this moment on we are no longer friends! You’d both better sleep with one eye open!’
Kageyama ignored everything and looked from Hinata to Sakusa in confusion. ‘The dog is at home, idiot,’ he said. ‘That’s Sakusa-san.’
Atsumu looked to the ceiling. ‘Yer all gonna send me to an early grave,’ he said. ‘Every single one of you.’
With the lights on and ambient classical music playing in the background, the conference room looked a whole lot more impressive as a venue than it had done the night before when the Jackals were infiltrating it.
The Adlers had moved the painting to a display easel on the makeshift stage, and they’d erected a board behind it that said Schweiden Adlers, Monster Heist Champions 2021 in the same kind of illegible cursive font that plagued wedding invitations.
They pretended to look for their seats despite knowing exactly where they were, and when they settled, Sakusa chose to sit in Meian’s seat right next to Atsumu’s while it was still unoccupied. Atsumu was careful to keep the painting leg straight, and used his other to feel the underside of the table to make sure that the water guns and umbrellas were still there. When he felt them, unmoved and un-tampered with, he let out a sigh of relief and sank back in his chair.
Bokuto arrived five minutes later and sat himself down with a loud, ‘Hey, hey! We look like the Power Rangers!’ He gestured to his own black suit, then expansively to Hinata’s navy suit, Sakusa’s green, and Atsumu’s red, all complete with jackal pins.
‘We totally do!’ Hinata cried.
‘Halloween this year?’ Atsumu asked.
‘I would rather die,’ Sakusa said immediately.
‘That’s fine!’ Bokuto laughed. ‘Zombie Power Rangers are just as cool.’
Bokuto forced them to take more pictures, because his album was going well and he wanted to fill it with more of his favourite memories. As they huddled together and took dozens of photos all dressed up in their fine suits, the room quickly started to fill with Adlers, and Jackals, and members of other smaller, independent thief teams that liked to show face at the largest gathering of thieves in Tokyo.
When Meian returned, Sakusa was forced to go back to his designated seat. He did squeeze Atsumu’s thigh encouragingly beneath the table before leaving though; it wasn’t quite a good luck kiss, but it would do.
‘I thought I told you all to behave,’ Meian said as he took his seat.
‘Hoshiumi-san started it,’ Hinata said. ‘He called us dumb.’
‘I don’t care who started it. When you retaliate, it makes him correct. I’ve come to expect that level of immaturity from you three,’ he said to Atsumu, Bokuto, and Hinata. He raised his voice and turned around to face the table next to them. ‘But I don’t expect it from you, Sakusa.’
Sakusa dipped his head. ‘Apologies, boss,’ he said, sounding like he didn’t mean it at all. Atsumu thought he probably would have said a whole lot worse to Hoshiumi given the chance. He had a quick tongue for insults, and a vocabulary that far exceeded Atsumu’s limited one of scrub, bastard, fuck, and asshole.
Meian sighed and accepted Sakusa’s half-assed apology, and then the lights dimmed, and the ceremony commenced with a welcome speech from Hirugami. He thanked everyone for coming, droned on about the history of both teams, and ran through some of the impressive statistics both companies had accumulated throughout the year.
It was a boring affair; made only slightly interesting by a round of awards and accolades for individual achievements. The Adlers’ Monster Trio won Highest Number of Successful Heists, The Super Sexy Stealth Jackals won Highest Bounty and Most Famous Client. Sakusa won an individual award for his hacking prowess, and Kageyama and Ushijima both won awards for their spectacular performances during particularly tricky heists.
There were more speeches from guest speakers, from other thieves across Tokyo looking to break into one of the big two’s ranks, and retired thieves expressing their gratitude and interest in the new generation.
When Hirugami finally stepped back onto the stage with the trophy meant for the winners of the Monster Heist, Atsumu straightened his back and readied himself.
‘This year,’ Hirugami began, ‘Meian-san and I proposed a special challenge to the most talented of our ranks. We acquired a painting – this painting – and set them the task of owning it by tonight. Over the course of the year, they have staged elaborate heists, fought tooth and nail, and outsmarted each other in a colossal battle of wits and talent to be the winners of the Monster Heist. Tonight, I am proud to finally announce the winners.’
Atsumu knocked twice on the table – the signal to begin – and the attention of the room suddenly turned to them when simultaneously, all four of them reached beneath the table and retrieved their water guns and umbrellas.
Atsumu pushed his chair out and started to climb atop the table. Bokuto climbed on to the table to their left, Sakusa to the right, and Hinata behind.
‘Miya,’ Meian hissed. ‘What the fuck are you doing? Sit your ass down.’
Atsumu cocked the water gun on his shoulder and grinned. ‘Sorry for disobeyin’ ya boss,’ he said. ‘I never did like losin’.’
Meian’s eyes widened as he realised what that meant. ‘No,’ he said. ‘You haven’t.’
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu said. ‘We have.’
Meian tried to say something else, but Atsumu pulled himself up onto the table and cleared his throat.
‘Gentlemen!’ Atsumu called out loud enough for the room to hear. ‘My good man Hirugami-san over there is about to announce that the Schweiden Adlers have won this little competition.’
‘We have!’ Hoshiumi called out. ‘Stop being a sore loser and sit down, Miya! You’re embarrassing yourself again!’
‘Ah, ah, ah, Kourai-kun,’ Atsumu wagged a finger. ‘You see, that would be wrong! An awful miscarriage of justice!’
He looked over to Sakusa and nodded. Sakusa pulled out his phone, pressed a button, and then the conference room was flooded with colourful flashing disco lights and the opening notes of La Bouche’s ‘Be My Lover’.
‘Twelve days ago, you took our painting and branded us losers,’ he shouted. ‘But tonight, we say, feast yer eyes! On the impossible!’
As the song’s first beat kicked in, Atsumu called ‘Fire!’ and all four aimed their water guns at the painting on stage. The room came alive with the sound of chaotic shouting as streams of water dropped on guests. People jumped out of their seats, but nobody could look away from the easel where the painting was slowly starting to dissolve beneath their aquatic assault to reveal the picture of the Jackals posing in sweaters hidden beneath.
Atsumu pointed at the Adlers’ table and made eye contact with all three of them. Hoshiumi was staring back wide-eyed and horrified, Kageyama was gaping, and even Ushijima’s usually blank face was caught in surprise, his stare unwavering from Sakusa. Atsumu blew them a kiss, grinned, and then opened up his umbrella.
Sakusa, Hinata, Bokuto, and Inunaki opened theirs, and then Sakusa pressed the button to release the balloons. Atsumu watched in amused wonder as they fell from their holes in the ceiling, changing colours as the disco lights flashed through the range of the rainbow.
The Jackals – including Inunaki, Adriah, and Barnes - whooped and cheered as they opened fire with the orange infused water and watched them explode in huge bursts of glitter and confetti over the Adlers’ heads.
Hirugami stood amongst it all, still on stage, holding the trophy, watching the carnage unfold with a grimace. In the blink of an eye, his once black suit was covered in millions of multicoloured squares of glitter, and his hair was nothing more than a nest to thousands of pieces of confetti.
Everything that wasn’t sheltered beneath an umbrella was ruined: the tables, the drinks, the guests, the floors. The disco lights danced off the surface of the glitter and made the whole room look like it was sparkling. It would be a fucking nightmare to clean. Atsumu kind of felt sorry for the poor bastards stuck with that job.
Atsumu glanced down at Meian, but he couldn’t gauge his reaction; his eyes were pressed closed, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose. At least he’d been somewhat covered by Atsumu’s umbrella. That was one less thing for him to complain about once this was all over.
Once the song reached its second chorus, the Jackals threw their water guns and umbrellas aside, jumped down from the tables and walked up to the stage. Atsumu grinned up at Sakusa the second they got close enough, and then wrapped himself around Sakusa in a tight hug.
‘We did it,’ Sakusa said into his ear over the thrum of the music. Atsumu leaned back to watch as the lights danced across the planes of his face, illuminating it red, purple, blue, green. He fought the urge to kiss him by squeezing him in another tight hug.
‘Fuck yeah we did,’ Atsumu said back.
Bokuto jumped on Atsumu’s back and crushed them both in a bigger hug, and Hinata tagged himself onto the end. They moved to join arms to each other’s shoulders and jumped excitedly around in circles like a sports team celebrating a monumental win.
Atsumu thought he would probably remember that feeling as long as he drew breath. It was overpowering – the sensations of pride, and joy, of relief and his unconditional love for his job, for his friends, his team, his family.
As the song started to peter out, they approached Hirugami joined together, the most formidable thieving team in all of Tokyo. Then Atsumu leaned down, pulled the real painting from his leg and un-rolled in front of the crowd.
‘Let it be known!’ he shouted into Hirugami’s microphone. ‘That the true winners of the Monster Heist are the MSBY Black Jackals!’
Another burst of confetti fell, the one installed by the Adlers meant to commemorate their own win. When it landed on the Jackals they welcomed it. Atsumu threw his arms wide and let it fall onto his face, and Bokuto cupped his hands to catch some and threw it back over Hinata like a wedding guest.
Hirugami looked bewildered. He walked over to the easel and tried to pick up the water-logged remains of the fake painting. ‘How?’ he said to the ridiculous portrait of the Jackals. ‘When?
‘Magicians never reveal their tricks, Hirugami-san,’ Hinata grinned.
Atsumu hoped they’d torment themselves over the logistics of how and when forever. He hoped they felt just as bewildered as he had that Sunday morning when Hinata called and told them they’d taken it, when Meian had banned them from retaliating and all hope felt lost.
‘I think that belongs to us,’ Hirugami-san,’ Atsumu said with a nod towards the trophy hanging limply in Hirugami’s hand like an afterthought.
Hirugami looked out at the crowd and his shoulders sagged. ‘As it is written,’ he said as he handed Bokuto the trophy. ‘So it shall be done. The winners of the 2021 Monster Heist are the MSBY Black Jackals.’
Bokuto launched into a speech, one he’d been practicing for a whole year. He thanked the Jackals, thanked his boyfriends, thanked Sakusa specifically and at length. Even beneath the lighting Atsumu could see his face redden in embarrassment but he didn’t tell Bokuto to shut up like he usually would.
When he finally finished, Atsumu only said one thing, ‘Hey, scrubs!’ He pointed to Hoshiumi, Kageyama and Ushijima. ‘I want my stanchions back by Monday.’
Atsumu heard Sakusa scoff as he pressed another button on his phone and the baffled quietness of the room was replaced with David Glen Eisley’s ‘Sweet Victory’.
‘Hey, hey, Hirugami-san,’ Bokuto said. ‘Could you take a quick picture? This’ll be amazing for my album.’
Hirugami stared at the phone Bokuto handed him like it was a device from a distant future.
The picture was awful; the lights were still flashing all sorts of colours, and Hirugami’s hand had been shaky, but Atsumu still beamed when he saw the result. All four were smiling wide – even Sakusa – as they all hoisted the trophy into the air. The room burst into applause, mostly from the surprised guests and the Jackals, and then they were returning to their seats with a spring to their step so that Hirugami could conclude the ceremony.
The second Atsumu’s ass touched the seat Meian grabbed his arm in a vice-like grip. ‘We’ll talk later, Miya,’ he said through gritted teeth.
Atsumu winced at the pain. He couldn’t tell what emotions were stirring behind Meian’s eyes, whether he was pissed, or proud, or a brutal mixture of both. ‘Yes, boss,’ he said.
The rest of the evening passed by without incident, though covered in glitter. The guests cleared the tables as well as they could manage for new drinks and finger food, and the music and lights returned to normal for ordinary conversation to resume.
There were dozens of eyes on Atsumu’s table, hushed discussions Atsumu could hear about the Jackals’ talent and the huge upset. It made Atsumu’s chest puff out in pride, and his mind forget about the trouble they were probably in.
Meian got up and left to talk to Hirugami – most likely to commence damage control - and Sakusa took his vacant seat again, accompanied by Inunaki.
‘That was fucking amazing,’ Inunaki applauded. ‘You guys are something else. How’d you do it?’
‘It’s like you said,’ Atsumu said with a lopsided grin. ‘We needed Sakusa.’
‘Do I get a tip?’ Inunaki asked. ‘For making this happen, and also making this happen?’ he pointed first to the room with a wave of his finger, and then to Atsumu and Sakusa with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.
‘You can shut the fuck up,’ Sakusa snapped.
‘Or you can settle for havin’ your name on the trophy plaque,’ Atsumu laughed. ‘We need a new one. The arrogant bastards already had their names engraved.’
‘That’s if you’re all still alive come the morning,’ said Inunaki with a glance in Meian’s direction.
His conversation with Hirugami looked intense on Meian’s end. Though Hirugami was still smiling and rubbing at the back of his neck.
‘We’ll be fine,’ Atsumu waved him off. ‘We’re champions. He can’t get pissed because we—’
‘How did you do it?’ Kageyama’s voice interjected. He’d materialised behind Hinata and was scowling at him furiously, hair more gold than it was black. If he were in a cartoon, steam would be pouring comically from his ears.
Ushijima and Hoshiumi followed closely behind looking just as worse for wear. Ushijima had a firm hand on Hoshiumi’s shoulder to keep him from lunging across the table for Sakusa’s throat.
‘You said you were too good to take part!’ Hoshiumi yelled. There was a piece of glitter in his eye and he kept blinking rapidly to try and dislodge it.
Sakusa sniffed. ‘I said I had better things to be doing,’ he corrected. ‘I didn’t say I was actually doing them.’ He turned to Ushijima. ‘Perhaps next time you’ll look into who programs your security software.’
‘And protect your thumbs!’ Hinata added.
Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s hair and yanked his head back to meet his eye. ‘What does that mean? Did you take my thumbs? We agreed never to sabotage each other at home.’
Atsumu extended a hand to Kageyama. ‘Kenta’s Quick Fix,’ he said in the accent he’d used. ‘How has your favourite toilet been performing, Kageyama-kun?’
Kageyama blinked and let go of Hinata’s head. ‘That—you—Atsumu-san?
‘And I believe you’ve met my trusted associate, Takuya.’
Sakusa raised a hand. ‘Yo.’
‘I’m going to throw up,’ said Hoshiumi.
‘I see,’ said Ushijima. ‘Can I also assume that karaoke was not an attempt at rebuilding our friendly relations?’
‘Abso-fuckin’-lutely,’ Atsumu said.
‘I sang bad on purpose,’ Bokuto added. ‘As a form of tactical torture!’
That definitely was not true, Bokuto sang badly regardless of what his motivations were, but Atsumu let him have it, since Hoshiumi and Kageyama seemed to believe him.
Ushijima sighed and held out a hand. ‘It appears we have been thoroughly bested,’ he said. ‘But the battle begins again as soon as tomorrow morning. We will not take this loss lightly.’
‘Try it.’ Atsumu shook his hand hard. ‘We’ll crush you again,’ he said. ‘As many times as it takes.’
In just twelve days they’d pulled of the heist of a lifetime.
As a complete unit, with a whole year ahead of them, not even the sky was a limit for the MSBY Black Jackals.
Their legacy was only just beginning.
‘This is so fuckin’ unfair,’ Atsumu groaned.
It was six o’clock in the morning on a Saturday.
Atsumu was hung over. Hinata was hung over. Bokuto was hung over. Sakusa was not hung over, but he might as well have been he was so tired after dealing with Atsumu’s drunken antics all night. (According to Sakusa, after taking him back to his apartment, Atsumu had tried to set up his bed in the shower, and Sakusa had to keep making sure he didn’t drown in his sleep because Atsumu was insistent that the water was helping him sleep. Apparently, he’d also started listing off all of the reasons he liked Sakusa, including the more embarrassing ones Atsumu had been determined to keep to himself.)
‘It could have been worse,’ Hinata grumbled. ‘We could have been fired.’
‘At least if we’d gotten fired, we’d still be in bed,’ said Bokuto. ‘I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open.’
All four of them were dressed in calf-length maid outfits, face masks, and bonnets, equipped with vacuum cleaners, lint rollers, and dustpans.
After Atsumu presented him with the apology wine, Meian hadn’t fired them – his first words were of congratulations - but as a form of punishment for disobeying him, he’d ordered them to clean up the mess they’d created and let the Adlers impose any extra punishments they saw fit. (The maid outfits were Hoshiumi’s idea. Since he thought they seemed to like dressing up so much.)
If they refused the conditions, Meian said after hearing Sakusa’s abundant complaints, they could clear out their desks and leave by Monday. It was their choice.
So, now, they were in the Adlers’ conference room, sucking up the mess they’d made, crawling on their hands and knees to roll glitter out of the carpet.
‘We’re gonna die of old age before this is done,’ Atsumu said over the hum of vacuums. He could still feel the slight hum of alcohol in his veins that hadn’t quite flushed out of his system from hours before. ‘But hey, at least we’ll go out lookin’ sexy, am I right?’
Sakusa scowled, but it was impossible to be intimidated by him when his curls were poking cutely out of his bonnet. ‘We look like fucking idiots,’ he said.
‘What?’ Atsumu smiled despite the fact that it was hidden behind his mask. ‘You tellin’ me this doesn’t get you goin’?’ He coyly lifted the hem of the skirt to reveal his stocking-covered leg beneath.
Sakusa threw a lint roller at him and turned away. ‘Fuck off.’
Atsumu was fluent in Sakusa Kiyoomi: that meant yes.
‘I think you look mega sexy, Tsum-Tsum,’ Bokuto said in consolation. ‘Almost as good as me.’
That was an understatement; Bokuto hardly even fit into his dress. His chest was making the flimsy corset burst at the seams and every time he flexed his muscles Atsumu swore he could hear the fabric screaming.
An exhausting hour later, the door to the conference room banged open and Hoshiumi burst in carrying a camera around his neck. There was still an absurd amount of glitter in his hair and stuck to his face despite him obviously having showered. Atsumu took his smaller victories where he could find them.
‘Hahahaha!’ Hoshiumi laughed with his hands on his hips. ‘Do you hear that, idiots? That’s what the last laugh sounds like!’
‘Sounds more like a squealing baby to me,’ said Sakusa. ‘A really, really, ugly squealing baby.’
‘You can insult me all you like, Sakusa. I’m the one in charge of quality control. You don’t leave here unless I say it’s spotless, courtesy of your boss!’
Atsumu groaned and slumped over a table.
‘You came in on a Saturday morning just to laugh at us, Hoshiumi-san?' Hinata said. 'That’s kind of sad.’
Hoshiumi bristled. ‘I’m not sad. I’m gloating. You might have your stupid trophy, but now you’re all stuck doing my bidding for the whole day! I might even keep you here until Monday.’
‘Or we could just pulverise him,’ said Sakusa. ‘There’s four of us and one of him.’
Atsumu raised an eyebrow. ‘You got back up around here Kourai-kun?’
Hoshiumi scoffed. ‘I don’t need backup. I’m a human hurricane.’
Atsumu looked over at Sakusa. Sakusa looked at Bokuto, and Bokuto looked at Hinata.
Atsumu threw aside his vacuum. ‘Get him, boys.’
They bolted after Hoshiumi and he ran away screaming. Hinata charged ahead, the fastest of the group, and he forced him into dipping into a supply cupboard. The Jackals didn’t follow Hoshiumi inside, however. Instead, Sakusa took his phone out and used it to tap back into the Adlers’ security system. He locked Hoshiumi in the cupboard, turned to Atsumu and asked, ‘Coffee?’
‘Yeah,’ Atsumu threw an arm around his shoulder as they started walking to the Adlers’ break room. ‘I’d love one.’