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cringe queen ruby rose

Summary:

White Rose Week: flirting love bites

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.” Ruby said through a pout, reaching out gripping her chin between her thumb and forefinger, nudging it so that Weiss had no choice but to look back at her. “Come on, Weiss.”

“I think I have the right to be dramatic, considering what just happened.” She retorted, her voice strangled.

Ruby huffed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Weiss’ shoulder. It was clear that she was attempting to mitigate the damage that was already done if her puppy dog eyes were anything to consider. “It wasn’t that bad—”

You said the sex was poggers!” Weiss hissed, shoving Ruby off of her.

Or;

I personally believe in bastard Ruby Rose supremacy.

Notes:

this is me shamelessly pushing my cringe queen ruby agenda

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It goes without saying that Weiss isn’t the best when it comes to things such as relationships. She’s probably the most emotionally developed person in her family, but that honestly isn’t saying much considering just about everything and everyone that came with that. Still, she was over the moon that she was slowly coming around to things like love and friendship—if only because it healed a fundamental part of her soul that had gone empty for far too long.

Her relationship with Ruby was a big part of the process of healing—and though Weiss understood that she would’ve managed just fine without her, it would have been a great deal more difficult. For the most part, she was thankful that she had Ruby in her life, but sometimes it was difficult to take anything that came out of her mouth seriously.

Weiss stared up at the ceiling, her eyes lifeless. “This is the worst thing to ever happen to me ever.”

Ruby shifted beside her, a frown prevalent on her face. She was laying on her side, leaning her cheek onto the palm of her hand. Ruby, unlike Weiss, didn’t bother to cover herself up with the blanket. “Weiss, c’mon I’m sure you’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not.” She said through a sigh, pressing her hands into her eyes in an attempt to soothe the oncoming headache. “Really, Ruby?”

A nervous laugh escaped her mouth. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It really was.” Weiss moaned out morosely. It was a wonder that she had ever thought that getting together with Ruby was a good idea. Honestly, she should have expected something like this—the other woman was a clown. “The memory has been eternally etched into my mind, I will never forgive or forget this great disservice you have bestowed upon me.”

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.” Ruby said through a pout, reaching out grabbing her chin between her thumb and forefinger, nudging it so that Weiss had no choice but to look back at her. “Come on, Weiss.”

“I think I have the right to be dramatic, considering what just happened.” She retorted, her voice strangled.

Ruby huffed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Weiss’ shoulder. It was clear that she was attempting to mitigate the damage that was already done if her puppy dog eyes were anything to consider. “It wasn’t that bad—”

“You said the sex was poggers!” Weiss hissed, shoving Ruby off of her.

“Because it was!” She whined back, wrapping her arms around Weiss’ shoulders and burying her face into the skin just below her breast.

“You said my mouth was based!” She squawked, trying and failing to shove her off again.

“Because it is!” Ruby’s voice was muffled. 

“I can’t believe this.” Weiss flopped back onto the pillow, giving up on her attempts to get away from her and reluctantly allowing Ruby to cuddle as much as she wished. “I am exhausted.”

“Oh.” Ruby looked up at her through her eyelashes, an evil little grin beginning to curve her lips. “Is it at least the good kind?”

A blush rose from Weiss’ neck to her cheekbones—saturating every ounce of pale skin in pink as she desperately shoved back at Ruby’s face. “You are a clown and a scoundrel and I despise you with every inch of my being.”

“That’s not what you were saying a couple of minutes ago,” Ruby whined, but there was a pleased note to the tone of her voice. “As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember—”

“I was sort of occupied a couple of minutes ago—but I was definitely thinking about it.” Weiss interjected hastily, flicking Ruby between her eyes and trying to ignore the waggling of her partner’s eyebrows.

Ruby’s absurdly lopsided grin didn’t falter for even a moment. “Uh, huh—sure you were.”

“I’m going to leave you here and never come back.”

“You can’t do that!” Ruby protested immediately, clinging even harder to Weiss’ body. “You said you’d stay and cuddle!”

“That was before I knew you’d use such language as we were... coupling.” Weiss allowed herself a grimace, though it slipped from her face when she met Ruby’s eyes. She looked like she was enjoying this far too much.

Coupling.” She repeated Weiss with a snicker. “You can just say it normally, you know.”

Weiss didn’t know how she could possibly express to Ruby how positively annoyed she was without physically harming her. “Coupling is a perfectly adequate word, I will have you know—completely unlike poggers.

A hum escaped her mouth. “You seemed to like it well enough when I was saying it.”

“I most certainly did not—” But Weiss’ face was burning so badly she feared she might actually burst into flame, “—and I will personally remove your tongue if you ever think to say anything like that again.”

“I think I’ll be a better use to you with my tongue still working.” Ruby said with a sly smile, sticking her tongue out of her mouth ever so slightly—which did absolutely nothing to help with the blush on Weiss’ face.

“You’re insatiable,” Weiss murmured angrily, averting her gaze. “An insatiable clown with a penchant for stupidity.”

“Aww, you really do love me, don’t you?” Ruby sighed out dreamily, nuzzling further into Weiss’ body. She pressed a very gentle kiss to the first piece of skin she could reach. It was reflex that led to Weiss very gently moving her hand to card through Ruby’s hair. “All these mosquito bites convinced me of that, but it’s real nice to hear it from the lady herself.”

“What do you mean mosquito—” Weiss glanced down at Ruby before her heart sank. “Oh.”

She was in so much trouble.

“And you call me insatiable.” Ruby murmured, craning her neck so that Weiss could see exactly what she had done. Bruises littered the line of her neck, the imprints of teeth prevalent with each mark she laid her eyes on. “Look what you did to me! Yang’s gonna kill you.”

“Like you’ve never done something like that to me.” Weiss retorted, but it came out strangled and weak. Yang probably was going to kill her, after she finished giving Ruby a high-five.

“Uh, yeah—but the difference is Winter isn’t around to see, is she? My sister literally lives across the hall from my apartment Weiss.”

“Oh,” Weiss repeated, as though she had forgotten. She tugged lightly on Ruby’s hair and then yanked the lobe of her year harshly. “I hate you.”

Ruby let out a soft whine of protest before she glared hatefully up at her. It didn’t really get across the emotion she was trying to, and Weiss privately thought to herself that it was actually quite cute. “Well, I—on the other hand—am madly in love with you, so what are we gonna do about that?”

Weiss felt something inside of her stutter and still. Did Ruby mean exactly what she said she meant? Despite the obviousness of the confession, Weiss couldn’t help but feel unsure. “Are you being serious?”

“Utterly.” The word escaped her mouth immediately, devotion dripping from each syllable—before Ruby got sidetracked. “...udderly... wait, where's my stuffed cow?! If Bess saw us acting up I will actually throw myself into the ocean—”

“Relax.” Weiss let out a sigh, rolling her eyes and gesturing lethargically to the side of the room. “I put her in the closet with the rest of those things, I know you get embarrassed.”

“You’re literally perfect for me,” Ruby said in awe. “God, I love you.”

“Are you really being serious?” She asked after a hesitant moment. She wanted Ruby to be serious, but it was so hard to be sure when it came to things like this. “...be honest.”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, Weiss.” Was Ruby’s response, quiet and a little bit chastising. She was scolding her now, great. “Don’t you know me a bit better than that?”

“You aren’t the only one with a monopoly on self-loathing, Ruby Rose.” Weiss pointed out, her lips pursed. “Only our two cases are a tad different from each other, in my personal opinion.”

“How so?”

Weiss rose a single brow. “I am hot enough to check myself out in a mirror.”

“Who wouldn’t check you out?” Ruby cooed, wiggling her eyebrows.

“You, on the other hand, can barely make eye contact with yourself sometimes,” Weiss said, ignoring everything that was coming out of the other woman’s mouth. “It’s a rather simple difference, but it changes a lot.”

“Did you just read me?” Ruby blinked owlishly up at her, lifting herself up a bit so that she could make better eye contact. “I think I just got read to pieces.”

“Yes. Well.” Weiss ignored that too. “The point is, I am allowed to be in disbelief over you sometimes, it comes as a surprise that you would even associate with me—but to dare to touch me, love me... it’s as much astounding as it is wonderful.”

And it was! It was such a lovely thing, a somehow surprising turn of events that Weiss would be sure to cradle close to her for as long as she could. To be loved by Ruby, to be desired for more than what she had already given to her, it was just so—

“Wonderful?” Ruby asked, her voice soft. It was like she was as surprised as Weiss was. “You think it’s wonderful?”

“Yes.” Weiss turned to face her, pressing her hand to Ruby’s cheek, brushing the soft skin with her thumb. “I care for—as in I love—you.”

“Do you need me to coach you through saying it right? I can help, I promise.” Ruby’s eyes crinkled with mirth, cheeks flushing darkly.

“Shut your mouth.” The touch turned rough as Weiss pinched her cheek. “I... I’m in love with you as well, and I am very happy that it’s become apparent that we share these feelings.”

“Aww, you talk all fancy when you get embarrassed.” Ruby cooed, turning her face to the side to kiss the inside of Weiss’ palm and wiggling her brows suggestively. “It’s totally giving me an energy boost, if you know what I mean.”

Weiss grimaced. “I hate you.”

“We just established that that is a lie.” Ruby retorted easily. “Now hurry up and cuddle with me, I got some grinding I wanna do on my PC later.”

“Um—”

“Not that kind of grinding,” Ruby interjected, a surprised laugh escaping her mouth easily. “I really need to show you how to play video games... maybe I can get you to use the word poggers.”

Weiss glowered at her darkly, wrapping her arms tightly around Ruby’s shoulders and bringing her closer. “That will literally never happen, I will only ever say it to mock you.”

“That’s honestly good enough for me.” Ruby said with a content sigh, nuzzling into Weiss’ neck. “If you weren’t so bad at them, maybe we could be a cool gaming couple—we can shoot people together, Snowdrop, it’ll be such fun.”

“You’re a violent little thing, aren’t you?” Weiss asked her, fondness and something else positively dripping from her voice.

Ruby laughed. “Hey, if that’s not your thing we can totally play Stardew—but you’d have to compete with my love for Haley and I don’t know if you would win—”

“Excuse me?” Weiss interjected, eyes narrowing dangerously.

“Minecraft is probably the better option here, you’d probably still be dogwater but we can work on that together—”

“I am going to kill you, I am actually going to push this pillow over your face and suffocate you until you stop breathing.”

“And you have the nerve to call me violent,” Ruby said with a snort. “Though, now that I think about it, if we run into any trolls I’m pretty sure you could put the fear of God into them... if they don’t troll you too hard anyway.”

Fondness. “I’m never going to win with you, am I?”

“It’s alright, Snowdrop.” Ruby said, pressing a light kiss to the back of her knuckles. “I guess that I’ll just have to win enough for the both of us.”

Notes:

ruby: poggers
weiss, weirdly turned on: shut the fuck up oh my god shut your mouth you absolute clown
ruby: you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

special thanks to my good friend! for without her this would be remarkably less funny, love ya dawn <3