Chapter Text
It’s Valentine's day, and over a year since Harry and Daniel ended things. He wonders if he should feel sad about it, but he can’t really bring himself to summon the feeling. He has his friends that he shares his life with, and he feels less alone with them than he ever did with Daniel. Draco has come over to laugh at the stupidity of romantic comedies with him while Ginny and Pansy are out on a date, and his life is pretty perfect.
“Oh, good, you’re both here,” Pansy says when she and Ginny return with fresh snow clinging to their coats.
Draco frowns at her, “why do you have that ominous tone in your voice?”
“It’s not ominous,” Ginny says, pulling a bottle of sparkling wine from her purse. “We’re celebrating!”
She holds out the bottle, and Harry notices the ring on her finger before Draco does. He’s grateful for that, because his best friend is engaged and he’s going to be happy about it when she tells him. He’s going to grin and cry with joy and toast to her happiness with Pansy – he just needs a moment.
“Do tell,” Draco says, summoning four glasses from the kitchen with a lazy flick of his wand. “What are we celebrating?”
Pansy practically bounces into the sofa to sit between Harry and Draco, holding her hand up to Draco to show off the ring that perfectly matches Ginny’s. “We’re getting married.”
And there it is. They’re getting married. But Ginny isn’t Ron and Hermione, it doesn’t have to mean anything for Harry, does it? He coughs to get the lump of fear out of his throat and jumps off the sofa to catch Ginny in a hug.
“Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both!” Harry says, smiling as he feels Ginny laugh into his hair.
“Pour the champagne!” Draco insists from somewhere behind him, and Harry takes the bottle from Ginny and busies himself with the glasses while he listens to Pansy explain how they’d made a date of shopping for rings for each other.
Harry hands the glasses out and grins at his friends, “to Pansy and Ginny.”
“May they live long and prosper,” Draco adds. He clicks his glass against Harry’s and when their eyes lock Harry’s relieved to see he isn’t the only one who’s holding back a bit of sadness at the news. But it’s just fear of abandonment or something. He’s not going to lose Ginny just because she’s getting married, is he?
Ginny rummages around in her purse and pulls out a page that’s been torn from the Prophet. And Harry was wrong, clearly, because the page is a real-estate listing. And he can’t be mad about that. He doesn’t get to be upset that his best friend is moving out of their flat to live with her fiance. This was always supposed to be temporary, the flat sharing. Maybe the friendship too, for Ginny at least. She’s moving on just like Ron and Hermione did.
“Look at this beautiful flat!” Ginny says, clearly excited as she holds the page up for Harry and Draco to see. “We put down a deposit today.”
Harry takes the page and looks at the flat, because he’s not sure his voice will sound properly excited if he says anything. The flat is pretty, though he’s not sure he’d call it a flat at all. It’s the second story of a two story house in Hogsmeade. It has a small garden attached, and it’s a purely magical town so Ginny can go flying without worry. It’s everything she’s dreamed of.
“It’s gorgeous,” Harry says, “I’m so happy you’ll have a garden finally.”
Ginny and Pansy both glow with happiness, and Harry is so happy for them he could burst. At the same time though, he’s so sad for himself that he’s afraid his grin will break any second. His life had been perfect an hour ago, because somehow he’d let himself forget that for most people friendship is just a way to starve off the loneliness until they find a girlfriend or boyfriend. He’d let himself forget he was just a placeholder for something better.
“You need to celebrate properly,” Harry says, lacing his words with innuendo and adding on a wink for good measure. “In private, I’m sure. I’ll just go for a nice long walk I think.”
“I’ll join you,” Draco says, holding his glass out in one final gesture and finishing off the wine.
Harry escapes to put on his shoes and coat before anyone can insist they should celebrate together. He hears Draco speaking behind the wall, but he can’t make out the words. When Draco joins him in the hallway Harry goes back to the livingroom to get the wand he left behind only to find Pansy and Ginny passionately kissing. He decides to leave the wand and walks out of the flat as fast as his feet will carry him.
He doesn't have a destination in mind, just a desperate need to get away from himself. He hears footsteps behind him and assumes it’s Draco, but he can’t slow down now. If he stops all his thoughts and feelings will catch up to him and he can’t let them. He should just feel happy, but he’s a selfish prick and he can’t manage it.
“Harry, wait!” Draco yells, his footsteps picking up speed.
But fresh tears are escaping Harry’s eyes and blending with the melting snowflakes on his face and he can’t let Draco see how selfish he is.
“Harry, please!” Draco says, and he’s closer now. Harry should speed up, but it hurts to breathe in the cold air and Draco sounds so sad. And maybe Harry isn’t the only one who’s selfish.
“Please Harry, tell me I’m not the only one who feels terrible right now.”
Harry stops walking, and Draco crashes into him so hard they both tumble to the ground.
“Fuck,” Harry laughs, “this is just like a scene from one of those terrible romcom movies.”
Draco shoves at Harry and stands up. The snow clings to his wool coat, and he looks like he doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry.
“If you try to kiss me I’ll kick you in the shin,” he says, apparently unable to land on an emotion.
Harry rolls his eyes and holds up a hand to be helped up from the ground. His jeans are already wet and he’ll be freezing cold in a second.
“You’re not the only one who feels terrible,” Harry admits.
Draco smiles a little and then seems to shake himself. “Well there is no reason for us to be both miserable and cold. I can fix the last one, let’s go to my flat.”
Harry ignores the way Draco winces a little as he says my and holds out his hand to Draco instead. “You’ll have to side-along me, I left my wand. And you better have alcohol.”
“Better have alcohol, who do you take me for,” Draco mutters and grabs Harry’s hand.
They’re several glasses of firewhiskey in, when Harry finally brings up what’s on both of their minds.
“Ginny can’t move out, she’s supposed to be my person. Ron was my person, he was my first ever person actually. The first one who loved me since my parents died. The first one to really get me. We could tell each other everything. And then Hermione became my person too. And the three of us were each other's persons and we knew we could survive hell because we had each other.” The memory makes Harry smile a little, because even now he misses them. He misses when it was them against the world, though he doesn’t miss the world being terrible.
“But then they got together, and they stopped being my person and were just each other's person. And we’re still friends, you know? I see them every other week or so, when they have a spare moment between work and parenting and being a couple, but they can’t be my person anymore because they’re too busy being each other's person. And fuck, losing them hurt like hell. Because even if I didn’t really lose them I did – in a way. They left me behind when they started their life together, and I keep falling further and further behind. It feels like heartbreak in slow motion.” Harry breaks off to take a deep drink from his glass.
“Pansy is my person,” Draco says. “I’m not sure how I’ll survive losing her like that, bit by bit until it’s just monthly lunches. Did you ever get over it? Losing them like that?”
Harry winces and takes another drink.
“Kinda. I found Ginny and after a messy attempt at trying to be her boyfriend I became her person instead. She’s my person – or at least she was my person, but then she found Pansy. And now she’s made Pansy her person.”
“I’d hoped, for a while, that we could all be each other's persons.” Draco says. “That they were happy the way things were and that it could just stay that way forever.”
Draco drinks from his glass and frowns down at it in anger when he finds it empty. “I was so stupid.”
Harry hadn’t thought his heart could break more than it had when Ginny announced she’d be moving out, but it breaks for Draco now, because he’s hurting just as much as Harry is.
“Maybe it won’t be like it was for me with Ron and Hermione,” he says, refilling Draco’s glass. “I mean, we work with them so we’ll still see them all the time.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Draco says, and it sounds like he believes it just as much as Harry does.
Because even if he still sees Ginny all the time going from ‘person’ to ‘colleague’ isn’t what he wants. He wants a person. Someone who’s committed to being friends with him like they’re committed to a partner. He wants a name to put down as an emergency contact at St. Mungos, a person to talk to on a crappy day. Someone he won’t have to pretend with, that can stand seeing all the ugly sides of him and still love him. Someone who won’t stop being his person the second they find romantic love. He wants to stop being a placeholder for someone while they wait for romantic love. He just wants a person. A forever-friend, a flatmate that won’t ever move out because living with him is enough for them.
“I wish I could be enough for someone,” he says, “I’m not saying I need to be the only person in their life, or that they can’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I just need to not be dumped as a person because they traded up.”
“Yeah,” Draco says, his voice rough, “that would be nice.”
Harry gets through the hangover after spending all night drinking with Draco. He gets through helping Ginny pack her belongings. He even gets through helping her unpack them in her new home. And when he goes home after dinner he gets through the first night alone in his flat.
Then he gets through the first week alone, and the first month. Ginny comes over on Fridays, and he sees her at work, and it’s not the same at all but they’re still friends and he hasn’t lost her. Not entirely.
Harry, to his surprise, isn’t actually lonely. Draco comes over for dinner sometimes, and always for movie-nights. Harry’s better at inviting other friends for game nights and movie nights and weekday dinners and he enjoys hearing about Luna’s paintings and Neville’s plants and how Dean misses Seamus when he’s off traveling for work.
A couple of months pass like that and Harry thinks he’s not getting through them anymore, he’s living them. And sure, he still wants the big things from someone. He wants a friend that’s committed enough to him that they’ll want to share food expenses because they don’t really make food in packages small enough to feed just one and it feels wasteful to buy chicken without eating it all, and it feels boring to eat chicken three days in a row so it won’t go bad.
He’d like someone to go with him to the dentist when he needs a wisdom-tooth removed because he’s not entirely sure he should be walking home alone all drugged up, but he doesn’t think it’s appropriate to ask anyone. Everyone already has a person, and he doesn’t want to ask for something they don’t need returned. A year ago Ginny would have offered, but she doesn’t now, so Harry goes alone and he stumbles home and it’s fine.
He wakes up on the sofa a few hours later to a panicked Draco shaking him awake.
“Harry! Wake up!”
“What?” Harry groans. His mouth still feels numb with the tingles of healing magic.
“What do you mean what?” Draco asks, “I tried knocking but the door was ajar and I came in to find you passed out on the sofa all swollen and reeking of healing spells.”
Harry makes the effort of sitting up before looking at Draco again. He looks worried.
“Dentist,” he says, and coughs.
Draco frowns at him. “And I suppose you went alone all stoic and stupid and haven’t had any water all day.”
Harry just shrugs, for fear of coughing again.
Draco disappears and comes back out with a glass of water that Harry drinks gratefully.
“You know dental spells are dehydrating. I can’t believe they let you go without someone to take care of you.”
Harry tries to give Draco his winning ‘Harry Potter’ smile, but his mouth is so swollen it probably comes out weird.
“I played the ‘chosen one’ card,” he admits. “People will let me do pretty much anything when I play that card.”
Draco rolls his eyes and refills Harry’s glass with a quick Aguamenti. “Idiot, next time tell me and I’ll come with you.”
Harry grimaces. “I really hope I never have to do that again. But thank you, and I’ll come with you too – though I hope you never need a wisdom tooth removed.”
Harry celebrates his birthday at Ginny and Pansy’s home. They’ve invited all his friends and the whole Weasley family and it’s a lovely day full of barbecue, laughter, and quidditch. Harry feels like he’s glowing with love.
He comes home to a flat that feels so cold and empty in comparison that he wants to set the thing on fire. Instead he turns around and leaves. He goes for a short walk and then Apparates to Draco’s flat to ask for a spontaneous movie-night.
“Oh wonderful,” Draco says when he opens the door to see Harry. “I found the sequel to that movie we saw last time, Legally Blonde? This one is about dogs and I wanted to see it. Let’s go to your flat.”
Harry grins at Draco and follows him into the flat so he can get the movie. Things with Draco are always so easy. It’s like he just gets what Harry’s thinking without Harry having to say much at all.
“I’ll spend the night in Ginny’s old room,” Draco says when he reappears with the movie in one hand and a bag in the other, “I want fancy birthday drinks with umbrellas in them and one shouldn’t drink and Apparate.”
“Brilliant,” Harry grins. “Though I haven’t got any tiny umbrellas.”
“Never fear,” Draco says holding up his bag, “I come prepared.”
The movie does have a lot of dogs in it, and it makes Harry wonder why he hasn’t got one. He likes walks, he likes dogs, he has the time. And more importantly he’s always wanted one. And he’s not in limbo waiting for his life to begin anymore. His life is exactly the way he wants it, apart from the spare bedroom that’s empty more often than he’d like.
“I’m getting a dog,” he says when the credits start rolling.
Draco laughs. “I never should have shown you a movie about dogs in need. Of course you’ll be off to adopt one immediately.”
“Shove off, it’s not a saviour complex thing,” Harry says. “I’ve always wanted a dog, I just filed it in under something I’d do when I was settled down. But I’m not getting more settled down than I am right now.”
Draco looks pointedly at the green plant next to the television that’s been on the brink of death ever since Ginny moved out. “Most people start with a houseplant.”
“I’m shit with plants,” Harry laughs. “The only reason that thing is still hanging on is Neville feeding it some potion every time he comes over. I’d throw it out, but I actually think he’d be upset.”
“I should probably help then, so you don’t forget to water the dog too,” Draco says. “The lease on my flat is up so I could move in and help keep the dog alive.”
He looks nervous, and Harry knows instantly what’s happening and he grins so wide his lips hurt.
“You don’t have to help with the dog if you don’t want to, but I’d love it if you moved in. You’re here at least a couple of nights a week anyway so it only makes sense.”
“It does, doesn't it? Draco grins. “Especially considering neither of us particularly enjoy living alone and we greatly enjoy each other's company.”
“That too,” Harry says. “But most important, the plant is officially your responsibility. Neville can give you the sad eyes when he comes over to find it half-dead.”
“Prick,” Draco laughs, but he shoots an Aguamenti at the plant.
Harry grins and then has a sudden shot of fear. “I’m not – er, I know you’re moving in now. Well soon, I mean. But I’m still, you know, me. Aromantic asexual and all that. I don’t want things to change with us.”
Draco smiles, and it looks relieved. “I want absolutely nothing between us to change. I love this whole friendship thing we’ve got going. The only thing I want to change is going to bed in Ginny’s old room instead of my flat. I’m not, you know, expecting us to share lives or anything. Not more than we’re already doing. I still need alone time.”
“Brilliant,” Harry grins.
The shelter has a surprising amount of dogs, and Harry’s heart aches for them and makes him want to bring them all home. Luckily he’s brought Draco with him for some external self control. It’s been a couple of weeks now since he moved in, and it’s working brilliantly. He doesn’t crowd Harry, or demand his attention all the time. He doesn’t expect Harry to fill all his needs for social interaction just like Harry doesn’t expect Draco to fill his. Harry still has his friends over, but only because he genuinely wants to see them, not because he needs someone to make his flat feel less empty. With Draco living there Harry can just hang out on his own, and hear the shower running and know he’s not alone. It’s a lovely home, and after considering it for a while he knew the desire for a dog wasn’t just out of loneliness or some rescue complex from watching a movie.
“So this is Ayla,” the shelter employee tells them as she brings them to a stop in front of a cage with a curly brown dog inside. “You said you wanted a younger one and she’s only about eight or nine months old. We think she was a Christmas present that owners lost interest in when the summer holls came along.”
Draco makes an affronted noise. “They just left her to go on vacation?”
“We think so. She was just fostered by a really nice couple, but they brought her back because she would get so upset whenever she was left alone for more than three or four hours at a time, and the couple both worked eight hours a day so they couldn’t keep her.”
Harry looks down at the dog that’s barking and excitedly wagging its tail. “I usually work five or six hours monday through thursday,” he says, “but it’s not a problem to work two or three hours, come home for an hour and then go back to work to finish up. Do you think that would work for her?”
An hour and some paperwork later, Harry and Draco bring Ayla into their flat and laugh as they watch her run excitedly around and smell everything. Harry busies himself setting up a bed and a bowl for her, and Draco disappears onto the small balcony Harry never uses. Harry goes to fill the bowl with food, and the second the first bit of food hits the bowl Ayla comes running so fast she skids right past Harry and into a kitchen cupboard.
“You’re a quick one, aren’t you?” Harry laughs, filling the bowl with the amount of food the shelter had recommended and grinning down at his new dog as she eats.
He sits down on the floor to look at her, and his heart melts when she lays her head on his leg when she’s done eating. “And a cuddly one too, I see.”
“Harry? Ayla?” Draco yells. Ayla immediately runs to see what’s going on, and Harry rolls his eyes before getting off the floor and following her.
Draco is standing in the doorway of the balcony with a self-satisfied grin. Alya is sniffing at the door and trying to make her way out between Draco’s legs, but Draco doesn’t let her pass until Harry’s caught up. Only then does he move out of the way to let Harry see what he’s done.
The balcony is somehow ten times the size it used to be, and covered in thick grass. Alya runs onto it and starts sprinting around in circles, her tail wagging so hard Harry’s afraid it might hurt.
“You made the balcony into a garden?” Harry asks, tearing his eyes away from the newly made garden to look at Draco in surprise.
Draco flushes. “I thought it would be nice for her to have a safe space to run around without a leash and for fresh air between walks.”
“It’s lovely,” Harry says. “I’ve never even used this balcony. How – that’s some serious magic!”
Draco suddenly looks sad. “I like being outside, and right after the war outside felt like the only place I could breathe. Except I had a lot of trouble being in public because I was terrified someone would come see me and know what I did during the war and attack me or something. So I couldn’t really relax outside either.”
“Oh,” Harry says. They don’t speak about the war or the following year often, but when they do it’s mostly one of them sharing and the other just listening. It’s helped Harry, to talk about it without getting too many answers or opinions, and he hopes it’s helping Draco too.
“Anyways, Pansy and I had this cramped and terrible balcony and I felt safe there, but it was so ugly. It took me ages but I worked out how to cast an Undetectable Extension Charm on an open space and after that the rest was simple. I just thought it would be nice for all of us to have an outside space so I did the same here.”
“It’s brilliant,” Harry says, grabbing Draco’s hand and leading him out onto the new balcony.
Draco, despite his claims, becomes just as smitten with Ayla as Harry is. After a month she sleeps in Draco’s bed almost as often as she sleeps in Harry’s, even though Draco had insisted that dogs don’t belong on furniture at all. It charms Harry to see them together, and it feels like he’s found a family. Not at all like the one he’d thought he would have, but one that feels right.
Ginny and Pansy get married on Valentine's day, a year after they got engaged. Harry and Draco are the best men, and they both get a little teary eyed when Pansy and Ginny announce they’re invited to the honeymoon.
“Now, don’t get too excited,” Pansy insists. “Ginny and I will be spending a lot of time making kisses and whatnot, so be prepared to entertain yourselves and each other when we’re feeling romantic.”
“We’ll be in Rome, I hardly think entertaining ourselves is going to be a problem,” Harry says. “Are you sure you want us crashing your honeymoon though?”
“Me and Pansy already live together, we just went on a holiday alone over Christmas,” Ginny says, shooting Pansy a warm smile at the memory. “We talked about it and you and Draco are the closest relationships we have outside of each other. We want to use our honeymoon to celebrate that love as well as the one between us.”
“And besides we miss living with you,” Pansy says. “Don’t get me wrong, I love living with Ginny, but I think this could be the start of a lovely tradition, don’t you? A yearly two week vacation to a beautiful place with all the people we love most.”
The admission that Ginny and Pansy have missed them strikes a cord in Harry. He’d let himself think that Ginny had ‘traded up’ to Pansy, and that he was the only one who missed the closeness they’d had when they shared a flat. He hadn’t even considered that just because she wanted to live with Pansy, it didn’t mean that she didn’t miss Harry just like he missed her.
“We’ll have to bring Ayla, of course,” Draco says. Harry knows he’s trying to sound casual, but his eyes are shining just as bright as Harry imagines his own are. Harry knows he’s missed the closeness he had with Pansy, and he must be feeling the same rush of joy that Harry is, knowing he’s missed and loved.
“We’ve already set it up with the Portkey office and the house we’ve rented allows animals,” Ginny assures. “Though next year you guys can plan the vacation. It’s harder than you think to find a rental that allows dogs, but isn’t hideous.”
“Deal,” Harry says.
The ceremony of their wedding is beautiful. They chose to have it outside, and Britain being Britain it is, of course, raining. Harry works with Ron, Hermione, George and Charlie to set up strong charms to keep the weather out, and when they finish the result is what looks like a glass dome filled with twinkling lights and flowers while the rain thunders on outside. When Pansy and Ginny walk down the aisle together they glow, giving off the illusion that it’s their love and happiness that’s keeping the rain at bay. Harry stands at the altar glowing with pride that his friend has found someone who makes her so happy, and he looks over at Draco to see the same pride and joy radiating off his face too.
“Is it weird that I want pizza?” Draco asks when they return from their two weeks in Rome. He’s got a slight tan, and Harry can’t stop thinking how strange he looks without his usually pale skin.
“A little,” Harry laughs. “We’ve had pizza every day for two weeks. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m a little sick of pizza.”
Draco gasps and dramatically places a hand over his heart. “You can’t be sick of pizza! That’s an insult to, I don’t know, everything! But we should probably get something else. After the amazing pizzas we’ve had recently, anything we order will be a massive disappointment.”
“Alright fine I take it back, I’m never sick of pizza.” Harry casts an Aguamenti in Ayla’s bowl to hide his eye roll. “How about Indian though? I could go for some biryani and naan.”
“I’ll find a movie,” Draco says. “Get me butter chicken and a mountain of -,”
“Naan, yeah I know,” Harry finishes for him. “Can we watch Lord of the Rings again?”
Draco rolls his eyes and doesn’t bother to hide it, but the warm smile he accompanies it with shows he’s not really annoyed.
“You like those movies way too much,” he says. “But yeah, I’ll get the first one ready.”
When the credits roll Harry feels so sated from the food and tired from the travel that he would have fallen asleep on the sofa if it wasn’t for Ayla licking at his knee and walking to the balcony door in an obvious request to be let outside. The fresh air gives him a second wind and he stands there looking up at the stars while Ayla chases a ball around.
“I used to feel lost, looking at the stars,” Draco says. Harry jumps, having been so lost in the twinkling above that he hadn’t heard Draco come outside.
“I used to wonder if everyone who was supposed to be my family was up there,” Harry admits. “My parents and Sirius at first, and then Remus too.”
Draco stands closer to Harry and his warming charm envelops Harry too. “I used to think I should belong there somehow, next to all the other people from the Black family with astral names. Because I didn’t feel like I belonged with the Malfoys. It’s weird because I look at them now and they’re just stars. I don’t have to belong up there when I belong here.”
“I know what you mean,” Harry says, “I used to look up there searching for something, but I found it right here.”
“You found yourself,” Draco says.
“Well it sounds ridiculous when you say it like that,” Harry laughs. “But yeah, I found myself and it’s what I’ve been looking for this whole time. And what I found is that I want to share my life with someone – just not in the traditional sense. I want to surround myself with love, friendships and nieces and nephews and family. And you.”
Harry’s heart speeds up because this felt every bit as scary as how Ginny described proposing to Pansy had been.
“I want to have you in my life forever. I want to keep being your person when you need one, and I want you to be mine. I don’t want either of us to worry that the other one is out looking for a trade-up or replacement, but at the same time I don’t want either of us to feel limited or restricted by it. I want to commit to being your friend.”
“I want that too,” Draco says. “You’ve become my best friend and I don’t want that to end. I don’t want us to change at all, I love what we have right now. Let’s be forever friends?”
Harry feels a rush of joy and relief at the question. Draco doesn’t want their relationship to evolve into something Harry doesn’t enjoy, and he doesn’t want it to devolve either. He just wants this, for as long as it feels good for them both.
“Platonic partners,” Harry grins, summoning glasses and a bottle of Riesling because friendships deserve to be toasted too.
“Companions in commitment,” Draco laughs, accepting the glass from Harry.
Harry holds up his glass for a toast. “Here’s to, uh, shit we used up all the good ones. To mates in marriage, or holy matemony if you will.”
“No that’s terrible we’re not toasting to matemony you loon,” Draco says holding his glass away from Harry with a thoughtful look.
“To permanent persons,” he says with a victorious look and holds up his glass.
“To permanent persons,” Harry agrees and grins when their glasses connect with a satisfying tone.
On Halloween Draco comes with Harry to visit Godric's Hollow and his parents' graves. Harry’s brought flowers, like he always does, but something feels different this year. Visiting this graveyard has always brought up this ache in him, ever since the first time he visited with Hermione during the war. He’s come here alone, with Hermione, with Ron and Hermione, and with Ginny and he’s always felt the ache. Part of it is missing his parents, and that’s still there, but the other part was missing a home. Now he stands over their graves and looks over at where Ayla is picking up a stick and giving it to Draco clearly wanting him to throw it and Draco’s anxious expression as he tries to decide if throwing a stick with your dog is allowed in a cemetery, and Harry doesn’t feel that ache for home. He’s found who he is and what he wants, and he has so many people in his life to love and be loved by.
“I’m happy,” he says, wondering if somewhere, beyond the train Harry never boarded when he died, his parents can hear him. “I don’t have what you two did. The whole romantic thing, I mean. It’s not really for me. I’ve spent my life looking for someone. Someone to fill that gaping hole I’ve always felt, to bridge the gap between me and the rest of the world.”
Harry looks up to make sure Draco and Ayla are still far enough away that they won’t hear him. “I never fit in, not really. I had a house with the Dursleys, but never a home. And after that, at Hogwarts and with Ginny, I got close but I heard somewhere that home is a person, not a place and I spent so much energy looking for that person. And I’ve been so confused because I couldn’t find them.”
Harry pauses, like he would if he was speaking to someone who could actually answer. No answer comes, of course, but the silence is comforting rather than painful. “Anyways, I realised I was looking in all the wrong places, because the only person who can make sense of me and what I want from life is me. And I feel like I finally found what I was looking for because I know who I am now, and I feel at home in myself.”
Harry jumps when Ayla crashes into him with the stick in her mouth and her tail wagging, as she waits for Harry to take it. Draco stands further back and shoots Harry an apologetic smile, but Harry just grins back and takes the stick from Ayla to throw.
“So I’m saying you don’t need to worry. I’m happy, and I’ve found my home and I’m building on that. I’m filling it with friends and good food and Ayla. And Draco. I’m not really sure what category he belongs to, because it’s not romantic but it’s more permanent than just a friend. So just, know that I’m happy, alright? Even if it doesn’t look how you probably expected it to.”
Harry grabs the stick back from Ayla when she returns it to him. He picks her up and walks over to Draco, feeling strangely happy despite his surroundings.
“Did it go OK?” Draco asks, clipping the leash back into Ayla’s harness.
“Yeah,” Harry says. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“Of course,” Draco says, “ready to go home?”
Harry smiles at that, at how home can be both a place and a feeling and how happy he is to have both. “Yes, let’s go home.”