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Wanda woke up with a gasp. Her whole body shooting up off the mattress she’d been asleep on moments ago. Dark amethyst sheets pooled around her waist, as she tried to get her breathing under control. Deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, Wanda kept repeating over and over again in her head. She’d seen an advert on television once; something about breathing exercises to reduce stress. She wasn’t sure that it actually helped, or if it was the memory of watching the commercial that comforted her. Either way, the nightmare she’d been in the midths of, slowly ebbed away. Back into the deep confines of her mind; locked up until she fell asleep again. Her subconscious didn’t bother her every night. But when those terrible images invaded her brain, they did so with a vengeance.
Her make believe children crying out for her, Vision dying in front of her, her brother and parents; they were all focal points that her mind would conjure up without her permission. Only that night a new scenario had played out in her head, Agatha trapped as Agnes, begging her to let her go. After one last deep exhale, Wanda screwed her eyes shut. Her fingers grasped around the sheets covering her thighs. As she tried to gather herself and get her bearings back. She went through a mental check list, until a familiar, sleepy voice broke her concentration.
“Honey?”
Wanda opened her eyes again. They darted towards where the sound had come from. Next to her on the bed, with the side of her face smushed into a pillow, was Agatha. Her former enemy, who’d been mentoring her for the past few months. Teaching her about chaos magic and how to control it. Their relationship had taken an unexpected intimate turn. Wanda had assumed that it was a ploy on Agatha’s part. Though the closer they got, the more comfortable she was around the older witch. She wouldn’t say she fully trusted her; but that wasn’t saying much, she didn’t trust anyone these days. But she liked her, and she appreciated her and that was enough for now.
“I’m sorry,” Wanda muttered, as she watched the other woman. Her eyes were closed, though her eyebrows were knitted together. She was lying on her side, one arm flung absentmindedly over Wanda’s legs over the blankets. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Agatha yawned, but didn’t open her eyes, “s-okay,” she said, “another nightmare?” She asked casually.
Wanda sighed, slumping down against the headboard of their bed. “Yup,” she admitted quietly. She let her fingertip draw idle circles over the skin on Agatha’s forarm. It soothed her, feeling the physical presence of the other woman. “It’s alright now, go back to sleep.”
She felt Agatha shift next to her. When she glanced in her direction again, her piercing blue eyes were looking up at her from the pillow. “Oh, toots...you know you don’t have to put on a brave face in front of me.” She said gently, “I’m not gonna’ judge.” Agatha lifted herself up, leaning her head against her hand, her elbow pressing into the pillow for leverage.
Wanda managed a small smile, she knew this was just as hard for Agatha. The cruel jibes and insidious facial expressions, had morphed into harmless sarcastic banter and the occasional eye roll. She was trying to be a better person, a decent person. It had taken a while for Wanda to notice, just how much the older woman had changed during their time on the run together. She remembered when she’d gone back to Westview to find her. Agnes was in the grocery store, talking animatedly with the check out person. He was smiling politely, but even the young man could tell something was off about her. It had made Wanda feel guilty; sure Agatha had tried to steal her powers. But there was no way she could justify trapping another person within their own personal hell. And surbubia would of been hell for Agatha; a step-ford wife, with no real purpose other than to gossip and watch day time tv.
“Dear?” Once again Agatha’s deep tone of voice interrupted Wanda’s dwelling. She shook her head, her fingers moving down towards Agatha’s, who instinctively upturned her own hand. The angle must of been uncomfortable for her, but she didn’t complain. “Where did you go, darling ?” She asked, giving Wanda’s hand a squeeze.
“No where, I was just thinking,” Wanda started to explain, she kept her eyes straight ahead. There was a chest of drawers opposite the bed, on top of it the Book of the Damned was displayed proudly. She knew Agatha liked to have it on show, regardless where they were staying.
“About what, sweets?” Agatha sounded both interested and concerned, she shuffled a little closer beneath the covers and planted a quick kiss on the skin of Wanda’s arm. She’d fallen asleep in the maroon tank top she’d worn the whole day before, and a pair of plain black leggings. Agatha at least was in a real night dress, it was silk and barely reached her knees.
Tearing her eyes away from the book, Wanda glanced at Agatha again. The lines on her forehead more prominent than usual, as she quirked a curious brow up. Agatha was an ancient witch, one filled with knowledge that Wanda was only just starting to grasp. She was also beautiful in a sort of unhinged way. Her dark untamed chestnut curls, matched with an overtly expressive face, made Agatha have an ethereal wildness to her. One that Wanda was drawn too. They were opposites in a lot of ways. Wanda’s exterior was more sharp angles and impassive expressions. She expressed herself with her magic, whilst Agatha could control hers.
“You’re disassociating again, baby,” Agatha pointed out patiently. Wanda knew this was something she did a lot. Be patient with her. It had started back when she was under the guise of being Agnes.
“I’m sorry,” Wanda apologised again, her accent coming through. “I was just thinking about you, before I came back to Westview. While you thought you were Agnes for real.”
Once the words left her mouth, a flash of purple shone in Agatha’s irises, it made Wanda shiver. Until they went back to being blue. The woman frowned, then she moved her arm off of Wanda, and turned to lie flat on her back, pulling the covers up to her chin. “Why?” She asked darkly, forgoing one of the random pet names she usually referred to Wanda by.
“I don’t know, I guess it just came to my mind. I dreamt a little about it, amongst other things.” She admitted, she turned fully onto her side. Though was still half sitting up, so was looking down at Agatha. “I feel bad.”
Agatha visibly bristled, “then don’t think about it.” She said in a clipped tone. Wanda knew it was a risk to bring it up. The subject of Agatha’s short time manipulated into thinking she actually was a nosy neighbour, was a touchy one. Anytime Wanda tried to broach the subject so she could explain herself, Agatha would abruptly change the subject or try to distance herself.
“You once said the only way forward it back,” Wanda tried. She stretched her arm over Agatha’s form, over the blanket.
The older witch scoffed, “I was trying to steal your powers back then, I wouldn’t dwell to much of anything I said to you.” At least she was finally looking at Wanda now. “Just like I don’t think about my time as Agnes.” She added seriously, an almost pleading expression on her face. Wanda knew she was lying; they both had demons they tried to hide from.
Wanda sighed, she knew there was no use trying to push Agatha, she was stubborn and headstrong. If she didn’t want to talk about something, then that was it. “Fine, but it doesn’t mean I won’t bring it up again, we need to have an actual discussion one day...about everything that’s transpired. It’s healthy.”
“Careful, angel. You’re making us sound like a real couple.” Agatha retorted sarcastically.
“I guess we are.” Wanda said confidently. It was the first time either of them had said anything out loud about what they were. She expected a witty rebuttal from Agatha, instead she just smiled, a little madly. Revealing rows of perfect white teeth, like a shark about to devour its prey.
“Come here, superstar.” She beckoned, opening her arms up. Wanda complied without having to think about it. She moved towards the other woman, setting her head on her chest, just above the top of her breasts. Wanda nuzzled into her, and smiled contently as Agatha wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. Wanda hooked one of her legs over Agatha’s; enjoying the closeness.
Agatha’s magic smelled of peppermint toothpaste with a hint of something musky and dark beneath. It was a scent she’d grown accustomed too, and one Wanda would never tire of. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Agatha.” She whispered quietly against her skin.
The sound of Agatha’s heartbeat soothed her, until she felt her eyelids grow heavy again.
Just before she drifted off into a cosy slumber she heard Agatha whisper back. “So am I, Wanda.”
Wanda smiled. Her pet names were appreciated, and she knew Agatha would never give them up; but she loved it when Agatha said her real name. How each syllable sounded with Agatha’s tone of voice.
With that last word, Wanda fell asleep cuddled up to Agatha and the knowledge that as long as they had each other; no nightmares of past transgressions could tear them apart.