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Izuku and Kacchan finally get together in their third year of UA. They’d been best friends (again, finally) since the beginning of second year, and then spent most of third year dancing around each other. The problem was neither Izuku nor Kacchan had any self esteem, so they never believed the other liked them back. At some point near the end of third year Todoroki begged Izuku to confess so he never had to hear another pining-for-Kacchan rant again. And to Izuku’s surprise and extreme joy, Kacchan reciprocated. It was, Izuku thinks, the best day of his life.
“Deku,” Kacchan says, a few hours after. After all the pouring of secrets and love confessions, after the compulsory making out. Now they’re on Kacchan’s bed, Izuku flopped on top of Kacchan, eyes half closed. His heart feels like it's going to explode, bursting into fireworks just like Kacchan's quirk.
Loving Kacchan feels just like his watching Kacchan's quirk, Izuku thinks. It's explosive and beautiful and wonderful.
“Yeah, Kacchan?”
“I’m ace,” Kacchan says flatly.
“I know,” Izuku replies, “whatever you’re comfortable with is fine by me.”
“No actual sex,” Kacchan declares, “other stuff is a maybe.”
“Works for me,” Izuku shrugs, “I have a hand, anyway.”
Kacchan nods. “I ain’t watchin’ though. Get off to porn like a normal person.”
“Kacchan!” Izuku kicks Kacchan in the leg, “why are you like this?”
“I’m very bad at navigating emotional conversations,” Kacchan answers, “you fuckin’ sure about everything? All of this? The sex thing...and me in general?”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, after every shitty thing I did to you-”
“Kacchan,” Izuku stops that train of thought, “you in general is one of my favorite things in the world. I love you. That isn’t going away anytime soon. You don’t need to feel guilty anymore, yeah? Forgive yourself, Kacchan.”
“Trying,” Kacchan grunts, “promise, Deku. I’m fucking trying.”
“I know you are,” Izuku responds, soft and fond as he rests his head on Kacchan’s chest, legs tangled with his, “and I’ll be right here while you do.”
“Okay, Deku,” Kacchan nods, closing his eyes.
“I’ll always be right here, Kacchan,” Izuku swears, “right here with you.”
“Me too, Deku,” Kacchan mumbles, right before he falls asleep.
Izuku kisses his forehead, and then follows Kacchan to sleep. He'll always follow Kacchan, anywhere and everywhere.
For as long as Izuku has known him, Kacchan has been nothing but proud of his sexuality. He’s gay and he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He’s also ace, which is something Izuku knows makes him happy. For as long as Izuku’s known Kacchan, he gives exactly zero shits about what something thinks of his sexuality. So for Izuku, the conversation they have a few months after getting together is something new.
“Sometimes I feel like I took everything from you,” Kacchan says. They’d been planning on living together after graduating since second year, so being together didn't end up changing that at all. Right now they’re on the couch of their apartment, Kacchan sitting with his legs crossed on top of the coffee table. Izuku’s head is on his shoulder, and Kacchan is absentmindedly playing with his curls.
“What?” Izuku frowns, “why?”
“Well, I took your self esteem,” Kacchan lists, “your childhood. If you weren’t so goddamn persevering I could’ve taken away much worse.”
“I don’t think so,” Izuku muses, “I took away my self-esteem. Not you. I mean, sure, you were a part of it, but I also doubted myself a lot. And you didn’t take away my childhood at all. You were my childhood, Kacchan.”
“I guess,” Kacchan crosses his arms, “I just feel like shit.”
“You didn’t take anything away from me,” Izuku promises, “all you do is give. You give me your love, your trust, your kindness.”
“I ain’t kind,” Kacchan protests. Izuku huffs a laugh, too lazy to disagree.
“See?” Izuku grins, “you can stop getting so worried, Kacchan.”
“But-” Kacchan shifts in his seat, still troubled, “I took away sex.”
“I don’t need to have sex to love you,” Izuku replies. It's incredibly sappy, and Kacchan takes a moment to grimace at Izuku before going quiet for a bit.
“Listen,” Kacchan turns so he’s looking right at Izuku, “this sex thing, why it’s so important to other people, I don’t get it. I really don’t. But I do know that it’s something allo people generally find important in a relationship. And if you wanted to have sex, I wouldn’t be surprised. But I can’t fucking give that to you, Deku.
“And sometimes it’s really goddamn hard. ‘Cause after everything I did to you I should be able to give you anything you ask for. But I-I can’t give you this. And I don’t want to. This ain’t me compromising or some shit. This is me telling you. You want sex, you’re not getting it from me. And sometimes that makes me feel really fucking shitty. I know I shouldn’t, but I fuckin’ do.”
Izuku presses his face into Kacchan’s shoulder. There’s something about seeing the person you love in pain that makes you hurt too, in the worst way possible. Seeing Kacchan tear himself up with guilt has always been worse than waking up in hospital beds with broken limbs. Izuku wishes he could take Kacchan’s pain away.
But he can’t, so he settles with kissing Kacchan’s shoulder.
“I get it,” Izuku says, “well, I don’t, but I get what you’re trying to say. But, Kacchan, we’ve been together for over a year now. You give me everything I want. I’ll never ask for more than what you can give me. You’re already so guilty about so many things, I don’t want you adding something else to the list. When it comes to your sexuality, Kacchan, there’s nothing to be guilty about.”
Kacchan nods. “Thanks, Deku. I know all that shit, since you tell me all the time, but I guess sometimes it’s just hard as fuck to believe. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that-that you love me, you know? You say it all the fuckin’ time, even though I can barely ever say it back. But you’re always promising that you love me and I know you do, but God is it hard to believe. On bad days, I think you’re lying.”
“Kacchan,” Izuku sniffles, trying not to cry, “I would never lie to you about something like that. I love you so much, and I swear it’s the truth every time I say it. I’ve loved you since the beginning, you know? I’ve never loved anybody but you. And I never will. You’re it for me, Kacchan. I love you. And if you want me to, I’ll say it every goddamn day. Whatever you need to believe that I love you.”
Kacchan blinks a few times, and Izuku recognizes the gesture as trying to hold back tears. Izuku winds his arms around Kacchan’s waist, a silent gesture of comfort. I’m here, Izuku tries to say with his actions, take your time. I’ll always be right here.
“I think,” Kacchan finally says, “sometimes I just need proof. I feel like that’s a shitty thing to say, but-here. Uh, how do you know I love you?”
“Well,” Izuku runs his hand up and down Kacchan’s back, “you spend nights at my hospital bed when I hurt myself. You cook for me every night and even wash the dishes when I don’t want to. You kill spiders for me even if it means you have to get up from bed. You listen to me when I rant and let me keep an All Might shrine in our guest room. You haven’t blown up the Dynamight body pillow in the closet yet.”
Kacchan laughs quietly at the last one. Then he sobers up, leaning his cheek on Izuku’s head. “You see how none of those things were me fuckin’ saying it? I need proof like that, sometimes. Which is probably shitty to ask, but I guess sometimes I just need, like, proof that you love me. Proof in something other than words, shit that I can keep to look at when I feel guilty and insecure and all that stupid shit. That make any fucking sense?”
“Yeah, Kacchan,” Izuku smiles, “it does. I tend to show people I care through my words, but I guess I’ve been complimenting you forever, huh? It loses its effect after twenty years, I guess. I can start showing you in other ways.”
“I mean-” Kacchan shifts, uncomfortable, “it was shitty of me to ask, I know. I should just believe you, but-”
“I don’t ever want you to doubt how much I love you,” Izuku cranes his head up to plant a kiss on Kacchan’s cheek, “and I’ll do whatever you need to show that I do.”
“I don’t wanna be an asshole-” Kacchan starts.
“You’re not,” Izuku cuts in, “sometimes words are hard to believe. Actions really prove effort, I think. You want something permanent, and that’s not shitty at all. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I already have so many ideas, Kacchan! I'll start writing you notes, leave them all over the house, I'll write you a whole letter of reasons why I love you! Eighteen pages, front and back! Do you want me to show you all the quirk analysis I have on you? I can go on a trip around Japan to punch every reporter that ever said anything bad about you, I have all their names written down on my computer, say the word and I will kill them all-"
“Deku,” Kacchan cuts him off, laughing wetly. His voice sounds a little choked up, and he lifts his head to kiss the top of Izuku’s, “thanks.”
Izuku knows that Kacchan means thank you for everything. He's just never been one for words. But Izuku has always understood Kacchan, and Kacchan understands him.
“Of course,” Izuku reaches up to cup Kacchan's face with one hand, thumb swiping across his cheekbone and staying there. “Anything for Kacchan.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Kacchan rolls his eyes, bringing out his usual indifferent act, but he's leaning into Izuku's touch. Izuku smiles at the return of his usual Kacchan, grumpy but sure of himself. Izuku loves Kacchan's confidence. He hopes he can help Kacchan become confident in them, too. It'll be a slow process, but Izuku is here for the long haul.
“Kacchan, you’re back!” Izuku grins wide, tackling Kacchan sideways onto the couch so that he’s lying on top of Kacchan and squeezing the life out of him. Kacchan goes pliant in his hold and hugs him back, letting Izuku find his mouth and kiss him for a while.
“I’m right here,” Izuku murmurs in between kisses, something that Kacchan can touch and have and keep. Izuku kisses Kacchan and shows that he loves him, tries to prove that he’s always going to be “-right here with you, Kacchan. Always.”
And Izuku is. Because wherever Kacchan goes, Deku goes with him.