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It’s rare to see her like this — unguarded, an honest kind of relaxed. She tilts her head back and stares up at the sky. The sunlight glances off her at the perfect angle. “Do you like it here, Eve?”
Eve directs her attention back to the book she wasn’t reading, “Yeah.”
Of course, Villanelle won’t leave it there. “You’re just saying that, aren’t you?”
“Why would I do that?”
“To annoy me.”
Eve takes a deep, calming breath. Here they are, having a lovely moment, and of course Villanelle has to start talking. Not just talking — picking a fight. But Eve’s not going to play. “I would never.”
Villanelle turns to face her, “You do it all the time. That’s why we’re here. Why would I want to be in a park in a middle of nowhere town in the United States? We’re here because you enjoy making me miserable.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“No.”
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
Villanelle doesn’t reply. She lays back on the grass and fallen leaves. Her blouse rides up and Eve can see the curve of her hip bones. Eve refocuses on her book. She rereads the same sentence for what must be the twentieth time. The words don’t mean anything.
Some kind of bird calls out above them. Maybe a sparrow. Eve remembers a high school biology field trip from ages ago. A spindly old man with a beige vest and binoculars rambled on about birds and their songs and all of that. Eve hadn’t been paying attention. There’d been this girl, Alicia. She was Eve’s first crush. She was tall and blonde and she’d only recently moved to Connecticut from Texas. Her accent was adorable. Eve had been friends with her all through junior year and when Alicia started dating the quarterback, Eve had gotten drunk on a fancy red wine she’d stolen from her parents’ collection.
Villanelle’s voice brings her back to the here and now, “You’re thinking about something.” Eve doesn’t want to talk about Alicia or anything else. “Tell me, Eve.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.”
“Who was your first crush?”
Villanelle picks herself up, pushing her weight down through the palms of her hands. She looks past Eve, at some nothingness in the distance. “A crush… Do you mean the first person I wanted to fuck?”
“I already regret asking.”
“Let me guess, you have some deeply moving story about your first crush. Was he handsome? Did he break your heart? Have you never recovered?”
Eve laughs. “No, I recovered. From her. I recovered from her. I thought I wouldn’t though.”
Villanelle tenses. Eve can see it in her posture. She’s waiting for something. The bird chirps up again.
Eve continues, “I always thought that was what heartbreak felt like. Not being loved by her. I figured I'd done it. I’d lived through the worst. But now I don’t think so.”
Eve doesn’t finish the thought.