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Emma tried desperately to focus on the never ending mound of paperwork, she really did. The entire point of leaving Henry with Regina this weekend was so she could play catch up after the latest curse. It had taken forever to get the latest reports and interviews done after the most recent curse, and now she was trying to make sense of all the damage reports. No one was being held responsible for their actions while they were under the curse, but that made paperwork even more of a bitch. Storybrooke had incurred more damage, and none of it was cheap to fix. She was trying to match the reports with Snow’s request for a report on damages but she was getting nowhere. Trying to describe the effects of a magical curse no one could see after the initial glass, coupled with the fact that there was no glass to be found created a nightmare logistically. Emma had always disliked paperwork but now, as sheriff of a magical town, she absolutely despised it.
She couldn’t focus because of the magnitude of the task, because she could not stop thinking about Regina. Yesterday, filing the reports had created so much guilt in her. All she could see was Regina’s face as she recalled her hurtful words. She remembered the glance they had shared after the curse broke, as they went around hugging everyone. Emma had wanted to grab Regina right there and pull her into a hug and assure her it was all for show, but the words were trapped in her throat. She wasn’t sure how Regina would respond to the physical contact so instead she had nodded at Regina and turned to hug Elsa again. She knew Regina had wanted that hug as well. She had caught the disappointment that had flickered across her face before she had pulled Henry into her arms again, accepting another hug from him instead.
Now today, all she could think about was Regina, and how she had casually wished that they were a family. She knew Regina hadn’t meant to say it out loud, just as Emma had not intended to reveal the depth of her feelings for Regina. There had been several awkward moments between them since Emma had shown up after work, guilt ridden. Now she was confused. Regina wanted them to be a family, and she returned, at least to some extent, the feelings Emma had for her.
Emma wrestled with the paperwork in front of her, trying to avoid reliving their conversations and the cuddle session on the couch. She had been incredibly surprised when Regina had begun to cry in the kitchen and she still didn’t understand why. She had thought it was because of Robin. Now, she wasn’t sure. At any rate, Emma had pulled Regina close again, and Regina had gone into her arms willingly. They had made it to the couch and Regina had immediately settled against Emma, resting her head on Emma’s shoulder as Emma had comforted her.
She missed feeling Regina in her arms, she missed her scent. She could still remember the smell of Regina’s hair, her soft, lavender shampoo. She smelled of crisp apples and cloves.
Emma felt a small smile creep across her face at the memory.
“ what are you smiling about?”, Emma’s head snapped up to find Ruby walking in with a lunch sack, a wolfish grin plastered on her face. Emma shrugged as Ruby approached. She could smell the grease from the cheeseburger and grinned.
“you know I can’t resist Grannie’s cooking.”
Ruby shook her head, “this isn’t from me dear. Someone came into the restaurant this morning and specifically asked me to give you this. Three guesses as to who it was?”
Emma smirked at Ruby’s impression of Henry’s adopted mother, “Regina?”
Ruby threw her head back and laughed, “ who else? You should have seen her face when she was ordering it. she looked thoroughly disgusted. And she looked at me and said, and I quote, “ how Miss Swan can stomach something so greasy is beyond me.”” Ruby adopted Regina’s expression and tone during her impersonation, giving off the same air as the former mayor when she was talking about something or someone beneath her.
Emma laughed out loud and snatched the bag out of Ruby’s hands. She dug through the bag and pulled out her lunch, immediately devouring it, while Ruby plopped herself into a nearby chair, still smirking.
Emma glanced at Ruby sideways, catching her knowing look, and caved, “ what Rubes?”
Ruby arched her eyebrows, “ wanna tell me what’s going on between you and Ms. Madam Mayor Mills?”
“Me and Regina? nothing.”
“Oh cut the crap Emma. I know how you feel about her, it’s all over you. And your scent was all over her this morning when she came into the diner. It’s not like I am gonna tell anybody. Everyone already knows. I just want to know if you two figured it out yet.”
Emma choked on a fry, “figured out what Ruby? Everybody else already knows what?”
Ruby shook her head in disbelief, any hint of teasing gone. Now she looked exasperated, “you have been in love with Regina since you two destroyed the trigger Em. And that is when she started falling for you. Everybody can see it except for you two. You don’t even want to know how many times Snow has come to me complaining about how long it is taking you two to figure it out.”
“ Snow knows?!” Emma’s tone became panicked, “ but she never said anything to me. she just keeps giving me these looks when I am around Hook…. Oh gods this is bad…”
Ruby shook her head, amused. “ that is what you are worried about right now? Seriously Em? Are you and Regina finally together or not?”
Emma shook her head, “ no, we are not together, but you are right, we both want it, so maybe we will be?”
Ruby nodded, “ that’s a really small start, but a start nonetheless. So you two didn’t do anything last night?”
Emma blushed furiously, “ Ruby, that is none of your business, and no, nothing happened. She just lost Robin. She loved him…”
“no, she loved the idea of him, just like you loved the idea of Hook. Does she know you broke up with him yet?”
Emma shook her head, Yes, I mentioned it, why, did you tell her for me?”
Ruby looked affronted, “me? never?”
Emma laughed. “ my talk with Regina is going to be interesting tonight…”
Ruby stood to leave, but gave Emma a hug before turning away, “ good luck Emma. Regina is an incredible woman, and so are you. you both are lucky to have each other.”
“ thanks Rubes.” Ruby headed for the door and a thought occurred to Emma.
“ hey Rubes, how is Belle doing?”
Ruby froze.
Emma smiled softly, none of the teasing tone evident in her voice, just understanding, “ I know you are in love with her Ruby. Be patient and give it time.”
Ruby cleared her throat and nodded, still refusing to turn around. “ she will be fine. She is heart broken, and I am just trying to be the friend she needs.”
“ she is lucky to have you Ruby, even if she doesn’t know it yet.one day she will see it.”
Ruby let out a sigh and headed on her way, “ I hope so.”
Emma returned to her paperwork with fervor, lunch and her conversation with Ruby giving her the energy and motivation she needed to focus. She wanted to get home to Henry and Regina. Home. When did she start thinking of Mifflin Street as home?
She shrugged the thought aside and went back to her reports, wanting to have them finished so she could spend more time with Regina and Henry. Her father had agreed to give her Monday and Tuesday off if she managed to get the paperwork done over the weekend, and suddenly, Emma very much wanted that time free so she could spend it with Regina.
Several hours later, Emma was finishing up the last report when the office phone rang, “ Sherriff Swan…”
Regina’s voice was filled with worry and apprehension, “ Emma, you weren’t answering your cell phone, I wasn’t sure… you have been at work all this time?”
Emma rubbed her eyes and glanced at the only clock in the station and swore, “ sorry Regina, language, I know. I didn’t realize it was so late. I just finished the last report… I can be over there in a few, I just need to swing these reports by the Mayor’s office… I hope you didn’t wait for me to eat…”
“ so, you are still coming over?” Emma could hear the thread of hope in Regina’s voice.
Emma smiled, “ of course I am, I said I would. I am sorry Regina, the time got away from me. I was so focused on getting this done, so I could have the next two days off and spend time with you… and Henry. I didn’t realize it was going on Ten o’clock.”
Regina’s voice was soft, she sounded like she had been crying again, “ okay, I can reheat the food for you. I already put Henry to bed because it was so late. drive safe Emma and I will see you in a few minutes.”
“ Regina, are you okay?”
“ yes, I am now Dear. I just thought… I thought maybe you had changed your mind.”
Emma sighed, “ no, I didn’t. I made you a promise, I don’t make promises I wont keep. I just lost track of the time trying to get these reports done. I will be there Regina. Just give me a few more minutes.”
“ok dear, see you soon.”
Emma hung up the phone and grabbed her keys. She rushed over to City hall and dropped off the reports on Snow’s desk and ran back to the car. The streets were quiet at this hour, so Emma sped up as she peeled out of the parking lot. She had made Regina wait for too long already. She didn’t want the woman to be kept waiting any longer than necessary.
A few minutes later she pulled up and headed for the door. As soon as her feet hit the porch, the door opened and Emma saw Regina, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying. Emma was across the porch, pulling Regina into a fierce hug before Regina could even process the move. Regina let out a squeak of surprise as Emma pulled her close, breathing in her scent. Regina relaxed immediately in Emma’s arms, returning the hug, nestling her face in the crook of Emma’s neck.
“ I am so sorry Regina. I need to work on being on time, and I will. My phone died, that’s why you couldn’t reach me. I wasn’t ignoring you and I didn’t change my mind, I promise.”
Regina nodded, “ I am sorry I doubted you. that’s my default. I automatically assume the worst. I thought I scared you off I thought I did something wrong…”
Emma’s arms tightened around Regina, “ you didn’t do anything wrong and You couldn’t scare me off if you tried. You should know that by now.” Her tone was lighter, playful.
She felt Regina chuckle, hot air blowing against her neck. Emma released Regina slowly and laughed as Regina immediately began fussing with her appearance. Regina shot her a look, making Emma laugh harder as she closed the front door and followed Regina to the kitchen.
“ I don’t know what you find so funny.”
“you, and your need to look perfect, and perfectly in control all the time. It may work with everyone else Regina, but it doesn’t work with me.”
“maybe its not you I am trying to convince dear.”
Emma’s eyebrows shot up at that remark. She shook her head, “ I think that is the most honest thing I have heard you say in a while.”
Regina turned and looked at her, confused.
Emma rushed to clarify what she meant before Regina could get angry, “ I just mean, you always try to appear perfect, your clothes, your hair, your makeup, all immaculate, all in order. It’s your armor, its how you protect yourself. I knew you thought you were protecting yourself from others, but I knew you were protecting yourself from you as well. you feel things so deeply, with everything that you are. You have an emotional moment, and then you fix your armor, using it to help guard your emotions, get them back under control.”
Regina stared at her, “ I wasn’t aware I was so readable.”
Emma shrugged, “just to me. Because I get it. I do the same thing. You wear expensive clothes and makeup, I wear leather jackets. We both wear armor that we rarely take off.I just want you to know, you don’t have to wear your armor around me, I can see through it anyway”
Regina gave Emma a soft smile, “ Yes, it seems you do.”
Regina went in to the kitchen, indicating for Emma to sit at the table. A moment later, Regina placed a steaming plate of food down in front of her and then sat it the chair opposite Emma. Emma ate as Regina watched, nursing a steaming cup of tea between her hands. She noticed Regina had a slightly crumpled piece of paper sitting beside her, just out of Emma’s reach. she couldn’t see what it said, but recognized Regina’s handwriting.
Emma waited patiently, knowing there was something Regina wanted to discuss with her but the moments wore on in silence, Regina silently brooding. Emma finished her meal, rose and washed the dish and returned to the table, waiting for Regina to speak.
Finally, Emma reached across the table and covered Regina’s hands with her own, “ Regina, you wanted to talk…”
Regina’s brown eyes met hers, swimming with emotion. Regina cleared her throat, “ yes, I did want to talk to you.”
Emma nodded encouragingly, giving Regina a soft smile, and tugging on her hands gently. Regina stared at their hands for a few moments before speaking again, “ you are not the only one with a lot to apologize for.”
Emma glanced at Regina surprised. “what do you mean?”
Regina gently pulled out of Emma’s grasp and grabbed the small page sitting beside her. she stared at it for a moment, clearly hesitating.
“Emma, you told me we were friends in the vault that night. We worked out our differences, but after that, I still… I should have been there for you and I wasn’t. I was so wrapped up in everything happening with Robin, and I neglected to help you when you needed me. it should have been me looking for you when you ran after the accident with David. I knew what you were going through, and I chose to ignore it.”
Emma couldn’t let Regina continue to beat herself up over that, “ Regina…”
“no, Emma. You said last night that you needed me to hear you, that you needed to make it right. I need to do the same.” Regina paused, meeting Emma’s gaze, her expression full of shame, “ You needed me, you needed a friend, someone who understood your struggle, your fear, and I chose to look the other way. I was so selfish. Even after your parents told me that you were trying to get rid of your magic, I let Robin distract me. I was more worried about my happy ending than your safety. Your magic is a part of you Emma. It is a beautiful, incredible part of you. You wouldn’t be you without it, and I was so wrapped up in myself that I wasn’t there when you needed to see that the most. I abandoned you, my only true friend for a man that couldn’t choose between me and his wife.”
Tears started to slip down Regina’s cheeks and Emma couldn’t help herself any more. She went to Regina, pulled her to her feet and cupped Regina’s face in her hands. Her thumbs wiped the tears away as she gently forced Regina to meet her gaze.
“ I forgive you Regina. For all of it, for everything. I cant not forgive you.”
Regina pulled back, continuing her apology, “ I am sorry for lashing out at you, for cutting you out after you brought Marian back. I knew you didn’t mean to hurt me…”
Emma couldn’t take it anymore, “ Regina, stop. Look at me. Please.”
Regina stopped, and Emma pulled her into another fierce hug. “you don’t have to apologize to me. you protect yourself. No one has ever given you a reason not to. I get it. you know I do. We understand each other, and whether we like it or not, we can never stay mad at each other. You are here now. That is what matters.”
Regina calmed some as Emma held her close, running her fingers through Regina’s soft hair. Emma could see the note now, over Regina’s head. She skimmed the list and smiled, giving Regina an extra squeeze.
She pulled back finally, fixing Regina’s hair for her before letting a playful smirk cross her features.
Regina caught the look and arched her brow.
Emma laughed lightly, then in a completely serious tone asked, “ so, care to explain why you are jealous of Hook and Elsa?”