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“Doctor? Why have we landed outside an American high school?”
“Well, I don’t exactly know yet, do I? We just got here!”
“Doctor.”
He recognized Clara’s tone as one that meant ‘I am rapidly losing my patience with you’, and resigned. “Alright, fine. This ‘American high school’ has been the source of more strange readings than I can count over the years, and I’d like to finally figure out why. I thought we could go undercover and check it out together.”
“So you’re telling me you picked me up at school. In the middle of the week. Only to bring me halfway across the world to another school?” If Clara hadn’t already been on the verge of losing her patience with him, she certainly was now.
“Another school in the nineties,” he added with a grin, as if that somehow made it any better.
“Oh, the nineties, well that certainly makes it better,” Clara retorted, and turned back towards the TARDIS doors. “I think I’ll let you handle this one.”
“Come on Clara, I need you!”
Clara paused, thinking back on what he’d said earlier. ‘I thought we could go undercover,’ he’d said, and she suddenly realized he did need her. “ You’re right,” she sighed. “You do need me. I can only assume that when you said ‘we’ could go undercover, you meant ‘me’.” She could see him opening his mouth to protest but she didn’t give him the opportunity. “Don’t argue Doctor, we both know you don’t do subtle. I’d rather go undercover with Missy than with you and that’s saying something.”
“Right, Clara, you’ll work undercover to investigate the school. Meanwhile I’ll see what I can find around town. We’ll cover more ground that way, splitting up. I’ll drop the TARDIS off somewhere a little less conspicuous and let you know where to meet me.” He said all this as if it had been his idea from the start, but Clara wasn’t about to complain when she’d gotten her way. Sort of. At least she wasn't going to be spending her whole time here making excuses for her totally normal, totally human partner, and that was enough of a load off for her, now that she was already here anyway.
Classes had already finished for the day at Sunnydale High, but nobody stopped Clara from going inside so she figured she may as well snoop around. It’s not like she could just go home, after all. She popped from classroom to classroom, looking for anything out of the ordinary, but she didn’t see much. The students still milling around didn’t give her a second glance, but she made a point to avoid the teachers, at least for now. It seemed pretty much like a regular high school, as far as she could tell. She was beginning to wonder what the Doctor had been thinking, bringing them out here. That is, until she found the library.
It was mostly empty when she entered, but not entirely. She had apparently walked in on some kind of training session. One of the students, a blonde girl, had been whaling on a man wearing protective padding. She assumed he was one of the teachers, or maybe the librarian. Okay, not necessarily alien , but certainly suspicious considering their choice of locale and the fact that they had both abruptly stopped what they were doing when they heard her come in. Not that they could really hide it. She decided then and there that the pair would be worth investigating further.
The man started towards her while the girl seemed to be trying to make herself scarce, disappearing into the stacks. “Can I help you, Miss-?”
“Clara. Oswald.” It didn’t click in her head right away that it should have been a surprise to hear his familiar London accent. “Is this the library?”
“You’re British!”
“Er, yeah. So are you.” She thought he might have been focusing on the wrong thing here, or had he just forgotten his shock at being walked in on?
“So the Council’s sent me another one? It’s not enough that I’m constantly telling Wesley to piss off, now you’re going to be in my hair too? You can go ahead and get back on a plane to tell them I’m not leaving my Slayer in the hands of you lot!”
She certainly hadn’t been expecting this level of hostility, especially when she had no idea what he was talking about. “Sorry but I don’t know what ‘council’ you’re talking about here and I-”
“Oh dear, my mistake. Do excuse me, just a case of mistaken identity. Go ahead and forget about everything I just said.” He really was not recovering well from whatever gross misstep he’d just made.
“No, actually I don’t think I will. I think I’d rather know what’s going on here.” She’d definitely hit on a clue, and she wasn’t going to let it go just like that. Who did he think he was going to fool with that display?
Over the course of the next several minutes, during which Clara watched the blonde make her exit complete with a rapid “bye Giles you look too busy for me!” (she wasn’t about to drag the girl into this before she had to, she wasn’t the Doctor), all they managed to do was talk themselves in circles, neither wanting to be the first to admit who they were to the other. Finally Clara gave up and told him she and her partner were investigating strange ‘energy readings’ in town, and that got him to start spilling about the Hellmouth. When she managed to get a more-or-less complete account of his operation, Slayer, Council and all, the sun was already starting to set.
“That doesn’t strike you as a little unethical? The whole chosen-ones-child-soldiers thing? You just accept that?” His face grew dark when Clara said that. He didn’t answer right away, and she was starting to think he wasn’t going to respond at all when he spoke again, voice low.
“Jenny keeps telling me the same thing.”
“Jenny?”
“She’s my wife.” His face softened a little when he said that. “She tries to be understanding of the position I’m in here, but it’s been... difficult, shall we say?” He paused, apparently considering something. “I get the sense that you’d like her. She- well, never mind that for now, you should probably get in touch with your friend, shouldn’t you? Let him know we’ve got things handled here.”
Clara agreed that it was probably a good time to call him, but she seriously disagreed that they had things handled here. No, surely the Doctor could come up with a better solution than child soldiers, and she didn’t plan on letting him leave until he did. She dialed his number.
The Doctor, meanwhile, was making his own discoveries. After returning alone to the TARDIS he’d immediately re-located it, parking outside a graveyard under the assumption that there was unlikely to be anyone passing by that over the course of the night. (This was never a good assumption to have in Sunnydale.) He messed around with running a few different scans before leaving again, having to admit to himself that sometimes you did get better results from these things when you were parked and not floating around in the vortex like a jackass. The readings didn’t change much, still weird, still centred on the school, still rippling through time. But the whole town seemed to be hit with whatever it was, to a lesser extent. So Clara wouldn’t be the only one having fun after all!
He walked out of the TARDIS, mentally planning out how he wanted to do his investigations, but that unravelled immediately when he walked straight into one of the locals.
“Does this look like a parking lot to you? Watch where you’re leaving that thing!”
“Right. And you would be-”
“Don’t think you’re getting off that easily, Doctor. I’m going to need to know what you’re doing here first. Is something big about to happen?”
“Sorry but... have we met?”
“Oh! No. But I’ve heard of you, Doctor, you’re famous in certain parts of the Internet. Rupert will be so mad when I tell him I actually met you! Well, let’s go! I’m Jenny, technopagan, and I know my way around the local vampire population. What can I help you with tonight?”
The Doctor shook his head at the spitfire in front of him. “Oh no,” he muttered, “not this again.” He didn’t come halfway across the world to deal with starstruck fans. Although. “Wait a minute, did you say ‘local vampires’?”
“I assumed that’s what you were here for? Don’t tell me you’re on holiday!”
“Trust me when I say this would not be my preferred vacationing spot. There’s certainly something weird going on here that I’m looking into, but vampires? Come on, be serious!”
“So you’re an alien who doesn’t believe in vampires? They’re everywhere around here! You don’t think I’m being serious, just follow me!” She walked off into the nearby graveyard, pausing at the gate to make sure he was following. “It should be about time for- shit!” She stopped abruptly as she saw the vampire in front of them, already biting down for a meal. She reached into her jacket for a stake and took another step forward, but the Doctor grabbed her by the arm, holding her back.
“Wait! Look.” They watched as the victim’s skin seemed to almost deflate and crumple inward. “Is this what normally happens?” he asked, Jenny immediately shaking her head. They watched as a green creature expanded out of the human skin that fell to puddle around its feet.
“That’s new,” Jenny commented before being abruptly shushed by the Doctor. The poor vampire looked about as confused as she felt, as its victim seemed rapidly to be becoming the aggressor. The creature brought its face down towards the vampire’s and breathed out a stream of gas. When that seemed to have no effect, the creature went in with a more physical approach, raking its claws across the vampire’s chest. Jenny and the Doctor both stood in place, observing something neither had been expecting to see and not yet sure how to proceed. That is, until the Doctor’s phone suddenly started ringing. Jenny turned to look at him as he pulled it out of his pocket.
“Not now, Clara,” he muttered in exasperation as he silenced the phone. Then he turned his attention back to creature and saw that it had also turned its attention on them. “Run!” he shouted, taking Jenny by the arm again and making for the TARDIS. He shoved her awkwardly inside and pushed the doors closed behind them.
Once they were inside, Jenny didn’t waste a second. “What was that?” she demanded. “I’ve never seen a demon-”
“Alien,” the Doctor corrected. “Slitheen, actually. Haven’t run into them in a while, what are they doing here? Oh, but that still wouldn’t explain the readings. What are they after?” There was a banging at the door, but the Doctor ignored it. Instead, he was pacing around the console erratically, poking at this instrument or glancing at that other one. “What am I missing here? Vampires? Obviously the Slitheen aren’t after vampires.”
The banging outside became more insistent. “Doctor,” Jenny started, trying to reel him back to the present moment. He blew her off, and the banging continued. She inserted herself between him and the nearest display, getting right into his face. “Doctor! Shouldn’t we be doing something about them? Something immediate ?” She may not have been the strongest of fighters, but she wasn’t about to just sit around in here waiting.
“Right, let’s see what’s going on out there.” The Doctor pulled another monitor towards them, this one showing the situation directly outside the door where not one but three of the Slitheen were banging on the doors. “Okay, not great. Where are they coming from?” He turned back to Jenny. “So you said you haven’t seen them around before?”
“I’ve seen some messed up stuff in this town, but never anything like that. Normally I’d check online but you seem like you’ve got experience. Slitheen, was it?”
“Slitheen, yes. Very dangerous, and they tend to show up in groups to infiltrate their target area. I suppose that would be the group.” He paused. “Hold on, check online? What, do you think there’s just handy alien directories on the Internet, waiting for you?”
“And why not? There are for demons, if you know where to look. So, are we going to kill them or-?”
The banging had stopped, but at that point it was replaced with a rattling, and a sensation almost like an earthquake. A look at the screen showed their would-be assailants seemingly trying to knock over the ship. As unlikely an outcome as that may have been, it was very disquieting. “I’d really prefer to find out what it is they’re after, but we’re in a rather unfavourable position right now. Hold on to something Jenny, we’re going into the vortex!” He hit a couple of buttons, pulled a lever, and the rattling immediately got worse. Jenny managed to grab onto something before the turbulence knocked her to the ground, and even the Doctor seemed at risk of losing his footing from the ship’s rough motion. He took another look at the display that showed outside the doors and shook his head. There were still two of the Slitheen visible, hanging on for dear life. “We’re in for a rough ride! She’s going to try and shake them off!” Jenny braced herself.
The TARDIS eventually stabilized again and Jenny started to relax. “Are we rid of them?”
“Well, we’re rid of those ones. They won’t survive out there.” He patted the ship’s console proudly. “Good job!” Jenny shook her head at that. Men and their cars, apparently a universal constant.
“So where’ve you brought us, outer space? What about Sunnydale?”
“We’re not really anywhere right now. Sort of an in-between place, really. As for your town, it’s probably in for a bit of a shock about now. The Slitheen we left behind, along with who knows however many of its family along with it, probably know by now that those two are dead and they aren’t going to be happy about it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to return a phone call. Find out what Clara’s learned, and warn her about the Slitheen.”
“What do you mean, ‘if you’ll excuse me’? You can’t make a phone call here! Bring us back!”
“Of course I can.” He pulled out a cell phone, waving it around in her face. “Special phone, calls anywhere in the universe. So if you don’t mind-”
“I do mind. Just because you have a phone doesn’t mean you can make a call, you know. You can’t possibly have cell service if we’re ‘not really anywhere’! How can you have a ship like this but have a worse understanding of cell phones than my husband?”
The Doctor made a point of ignoring Jenny’s withering glare as he dialed Clara’s number and waited. He silently put the phone back in his pocket and turned sheepishly back towards the TARDIS controls when Clara didn’t answer.
“Well?” Jenny asked, arms crossed. “How’s Clara?” There was a hint of mockery to her voice.
The Doctor briefly considered ignoring the question, but thought better of it. “She must be busy,” he finally mumbled.
“I told you, you crazy old man!”
Clara wasn’t immediately concerned when the Doctor didn’t answer his phone, but she was annoyed. Even if he wasn’t getting into trouble he was undoubtedly causing it for somebody else. Then again, if Sunnydale was as much of a mess as this Giles guy was claiming, would anybody even think twice about running into the Doctor here? There didn’t seem to be any immediate crisis around, so she’d just try him again later.
She returned to Giles, shaking her head. “No answer,” she said. “How about you give me a proper tour of the school for now, and I’ll try him later. There shouldn’t be too many people left on the property by now. I’d just like to get a better feel for the place, in case we have to be here a while.”
“I can’t imagine you’ll have to stay long,” he answered, knowing that he certainly didn’t want them around any longer than they had to be. One more unpredictable force circling the Hellmouth was probably not going to make his life any easier. “Although I don’t suppose there’s any harm in a tour. And at least that way if he comes looking for you, you’ll still be here.”
They left the library together, neither entirely comfortable with their new companion, but Clara was determined to make the best of it for now. “So,” she started when it became clear that Giles wasn’t going to be leaping towards conversation of his own volition, “Jenny. Tell me about your wife. Have you been married long?”
That seemed to be the correct line of questioning, Giles’ mood brightening visibly. “Not long as of yet. We hadn’t been together all that long when we did it actually, nor had the smoothest of relationships, but she almost died last year and that decided it for us. As soon as she was out of the hospital, we made it official. The rest of the faculty had a field day when it happened, not to mention the students. She’s a teacher here, you see, so everything was rather... public.” He walked Clara into one of the nearby classrooms, this one filled with old-school computers rather than the empty desks Clara had in her own. “Here’s Jenny’s classroom. Be careful of the computers, they tend to wander. They’ve been invading my library.” He faked a shudder. “She keeps trying to convince me how much better they are. Better than what, I’m not clear on.” At that moment they heard a crashing noise coming from an adjacent classroom. Clara ran out immediately to investigate, with Giles not too far behind. Clara looked through the window in the door, holding her arm out as she did so to keep her companion from crashing. What she saw was the back of a tall, green creature, with proportions completely off from the humanoid form. It was hard to tell whether it was searching for something, or just causing destruction. She slid aside and motioned for Giles to take his turn at the window. After what she deemed an appropriate amount of time to get a decent look at it she pulled him back from the door and they retreated back to the library, all thoughts of conversation gone from their heads. It was only once they had returned to the perceived safety of the room that either of them felt ready to open their mouth to compare notes.
“What was that?” Giles was the first to ask.
“I was hoping it was one of the locals,” Clara replied. “You don’t know either, then?”
“I’ve certainly never run into one before. I can’t recall seeing it in any of my books, either. Not too say it isn’t in one of them, but-”
“So basically, neither of us knows anything. We’re off to a great start.”
“Not nothing per se, we at least know what it’s not.” Giles resented the implication that he wasn’t playing his part here. “Possibly, we can assume it’s interested in the Hellmouth for one reason or another. And as we don’t seem to be in any immediate danger, we could always start with the books.”
Clara grimaced. It’s not that she didn’t love a good book, of course, but that’s really not what she came out with the Doctor to do, and she was about to say as much when the library doors pushed open, the subject of their discussion facing them in the doorway. “Hold that thought!” She backed away from door, watching as Giles did the same without any need for prompting. “Got any weapons handy?”
“Of course! This way.” He lead her to the stash they keep handy, whether for training or for emergencies. “See anything you feel comfortable with?” he asked as he picked up a sword and considered it. Clara raised her eyebrows at this. A librarian with a sword, she mused, could be someone she wouldn’t mind having around. She chose a sword for herself as well, briefly wondering at how often that girl, Buffy, must’ve held the very same weapon.
‘Focus, Clara!’ she chastised herself. Now wasn’t the time for that moral dilemma.
While Clara was distracted, Giles replaced the sword for a sturdy crossbow instead. He had decided that between the size of the creature and the look of those arms he’d prefer to keep as much distance as possible between them. A desire that was quickly re-prioritized as an imperative as he looked up to see it approaching them menacingly. Clara, for some reason as yet unfathomable to him, seemed to have the opposite instinct as she stepped in front of him, holding her sword with confidence. He was just about to ask her if she was quite sure what she was doing, when her phone started ringing, seemingly the trigger for a lot of things to happen at once. Clara’s stance faltered at the unexpected noise, driving the creature to swing at her. Giles pushed her out of the way ungracefully and shot the crossbow at their attacker, hitting it solidly in the chest. He reloaded, then offered a hand to help Clara up again, keeping his weapon trained on the creature in case he hadn’t managed to incapacitate it. Together they backed away quickly but carefully, putting as much distance as they could between themselves and the creature on the ground without turning their backs on it. By the time they’d settled back into a defensible stance, the phone was silent again.
Wearily, Giles commented, “I suppose that would be your Doctor, then?”
“The TARDIS is only picking up one Slitheen in your town now, the one that we left behind. I'm locking onto it now. Wherever it’s gone, that’s where we’ll land. If we’re lucky it’ll lead us to whatever it came here for. Got much experience in the field, Jenny?”
“My husband tries to keep me away from the worst of the fighting if he can. Frankly, it’s probably out of equal parts self-preservation and worry over my well-being, but it is what it is. Although I did exorcise a demon from the Internet once, that’s probably one of my prouder moments. Does that count as field work?”
“I’m sorry, you did what?” Either this woman was mad, or she was really good at... whatever it was she did. So far, the Doctor was having trouble figuring out which option was the more accurate one. Was this how people felt when they met him?
“There was a demon... in the Internet,” Jenny explained helpfully, omitting the reason it was there in the first place. “I got it out. What part of this is going over your head?”
“What do you mean, a demon in the Internet? Some kind of rogue AI? No, it’s the wrong time period for that, isn’t it? A demon in the Internet!”
“Yes, yes, a demon in the Internet. Sometimes it happens, okay! Let’s move it along, I’m not real keen on being stuck in your big old spaceship while my home gets invaded by aliens, in case you forgot.”
The return trip to Earth was a lot smoother than their leaving it, though the TARDIS also echoed with the sounds of raised voices in a way it hadn’t earlier. When it materialized in the library of Sunnydale’s only high school and Jenny crashed her way out of the front doors their two voices had overlapped to the point of being indecipherable to anyone who wasn’t a psychic being and they had both already forgotten the urgency of their travels. Giles had aimed his crossbow at the TARDIS doors when it started materializing, but immediately lowered it when he recognized the familiar sound of his wife arguing with someone. “Is that your partner?” he asked Clara. “He’s run into my wife, they must be getting along from the sounds of things.”
Clara answered him with a blank stare, before moving towards the TARDIS. She spared a weary glance at the creature they had decided was probably dead as she passed. ‘Getting along?’ she asked herself. ‘As in, well ?’ It wasn’t often that she heard somebody having a go at the Doctor like that. Oh, besides herself , she realized in a moment of self-awareness. Maybe they were getting along.
Jenny and the Doctor, for their parts, both stopped dead in the middle of whatever they were saying when they caught sight of their respective partners approaching them.
“Clara! The Slitheen-”
Clara gestured to the un-moving oversized lump of green flesh lying in the middle of the floor. “You mean that?” She smirked. “Think it’s taken care of.”
“Oh. Yes. Well done, I suppose. I really can’t wait to hear the trouble you got yourself into without me.”
Jenny, a little quicker on the uptake when it came to immediate versus neutralized threats, instead went with a resounding “I told you!” upon reuniting with her husband.
“Told me what, dear?” Giles responded, feigning ignorance, fully aware of what was coming his way.
“About the Doctor! You didn’t believe he was real! Well, too bad for you, you’ve gone and involved yourself with him just like one of those conspiracy nuts now...”
The Doctor and Clara observed the exchange in front of them, one with amusement and the other with shock. Clara wondered how many other surprises this school was hiding. Hellmouths, sword- (and crossbow!) wielding librarians, and now one spitfire of a computer teacher. She was almost tempted to ask if they had any positions open! Maybe then she’d have a chance at doing something about this ‘Slayer system’ she’d heard about.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention back. “I think it’s time we were off.” Clara turned to face him, catching a hint of mischief on his face as he spoke his next words. “Now, remind me again: which one is coming with me? You, or the American one?”
Clara gasped, exaggerating her offense for his benefit. If even she’d picked up on similarities between Jenny and herself in all of five minutes, it wasn’t such a stretch to assume the Doctor had seen it too. “Why not both?” she countered . “I think it’d be fun to outnumber you!” She pulled away before he could come up with a response, trying to get in between the happily-bickering couple instead. “Do you mind ?” she called out pointedly. Jenny and Giles both turned to look at her, appropriately embarrassed at their own behaviours. “Between us, I think we’ve managed to satisfy our curiosity, so we’ll be off now.” 'But don't think I won't be back,' she continued silently. 'You won't be getting off so easily once I tell the Doctor about your Slayer.' She spoke to each of them in turn before leaving. To Giles was a simple “Thanks for saving my life back there,” and to Jenny, a “Thanks for taking care of him. He’s just hopeless without me.” The Doctor made an offended noise that she easily ignored, pulling him off towards the TARDIS and waving her good byes.
"Tell me you were able to find out more about that town than I was, Clara. I'm not sure I can handle going back there, putting you and Jenny in the same time zone. The universe might start to collapse in on itself if we do."
"Oh, I can't wait to tell you what I learned. But we are going back there, Doctor, and hopefully soon too." Clara had a look on her face that told him that she had something in mind she wouldn't be letting go of at any point in the foreseeable future.