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Flash Fiction: Simfluencer

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Jonah made good on his promise and he bought us two of every flavor of cupcake from the Uptown bakery. He also bought a bottle of whiskey and had no misgivings about cracking it open on the train with the recently enacted “Juiced Community” N.A.P. in the city. 

We rode the train round and round the line until it was so early that it was late. It reminded me of the old days when the three of us used to ride the bus around Oasis Springs until we thought their Dad had fallen asleep in a drunken stupor. As upsetting as that memory should be, riding the subway with Jonah tonight made me feel safe and happy even though Jonah was upset. 

It was a good thing we didn’t go back to my apartment. Jonah spent the entire train ride cursing Sergio’s name, blaming him for all the trouble the people he cared about were going through, and yelling pretty much at the top of his lungs while we ate cupcakes in our fancy clothes. If we'd been at my apartment I would have ended up with my neighbors banging on my door angrily. He kept going on about club den rooms, babies, money, and something about wicked whims that all confused me. I sat and listened while giving people that passed us apologetic looks and mouthed sorry in between bites. 

Jonah has always had a very laid-back personality and I’ve never seen him throw a punch he didn’t need to throw. It was upsetting seeing him drunk and angry looking a lot like his Dad but sad instead of out of control. I didn’t want his family to have to see him like this so even after he quieted down and started dozing off on my shoulder I kept us on the train for another lap around the city. 

While we rode the line one more time, I thought about what had happened not only that night but with my entire relationship with Sergio. Everyone knows that Sergio is a new age Don Lothario. I was in no way surprised that he’d started flirting with me within seconds of meeting me but his behavior tonight wasn’t just flirtation. It was cold, calculating, manipulative and possessive. The feeling of disgust every time his hand was on my waist still makes me feel queasy and dirty in a way that I don’t like. I was suspicious that there was a whole story that was hiding in plain sight so I texted Jonah saying he was going to tell me everything in the morning.

We finally got off at the train and transferred to the line for Bedrock Straits where Jonah lives. Arriving at the station, the cool evening desert air clears his head a little but he's properly drunk and tired so I helped him into a rideshare back to his house. As he got in he told me, “Don’t take the train back. Get in one of these too and send me a Sim-o-Leon request. I was supposed to be taking care of you and here you are taking care of me. I guess what people say about daughters being the ones to take care of their families has some truth. Did I tell you Jana’s pregnant? I hope it's a girl and she’s as sweet as you dollface.”

“Oh my G-d! Seriously‽ Congratulations. I’m so happy for you both,” I hugged him tightly. His drunk ranting about babies and money makes sense now. I watched as he got into his rideshare and they drove away. I got into another one as he instructed and walked into my apartment just as the sun was coming up. 

I slept late into the afternoon the next day and took it easy. I’d flung the dress off as soon as I walked into the door and it was in a sorry state. So much for the gleaming beauty from the night before. I spent most of the day painting out my anger/disgust with Sergio and updating my socials. My phone had been dead when I got home so I hadn’t touched it before then and was shocked to see that both my insta and twitter had over two hundred thousand followers. If I hadn’t been sitting down to finally eat something that wasn’t a cupcake I probably would have fallen over. 

I had been tagged in so many posts from that night. The events at the party had the internet almost as divided as they had been over that stupid dress. Half were blaming me for the way I looked; comments like ‘what else would she expect’ or ‘must be Nisa’s trophy wife'. I paid those no mind. The other half were either laughing at Sergio or were in support of my actions because he’s a married man and saying I was their hero.

A ton of Sergio’s so-called ‘fans’ posted about me throwing the drink in his face. There were a couple of TikTok reactions that made me fall over on my couch laughing at Jonah throwing Sergio into the pool complete with screaming mermaids. Rhys_Moon's reaction kept replaying Sergio’s rag doll body as it splashed in and then back out of the water while they laughed hysterically. My favorite was definitely the one of Baby Ariel losing it over a loop of Sergio emerging from the pool soaking wet, looking madder than a wet cat and his sparkly suit crumpled. PlumBob Tonight even had a post featuring the popular trend ‘how it started and how it ended’ showing photos of Sergio on the red carpet and Sergio getting a drink thrown in his face mid-splash. This one made me laugh out loud. The notifications kept chiming in as the afternoon turned into night.

I woke up on Monday morning against my desire to stay asleep to my phone ringing. It was so dark out that I didn't even need to look at the time to tell it was super early. The caller ID said it was Josh. I answered the phone groggily, fully ready to tell Josh off for waking me up only to have my eardrums assaulted by his loud response, “Wake the fuck up! You have over 1.2 million followers on your insta and 1.1 on your twitter. What the hell happened at the party?”

Now I was awake, “Shit are you kidding?”

“NO! Jonah just ran over here and woke me up at 5 am. I haven't seen 5 am since uni. Check your fucking phone!” I put Josh on speaker and pulled up my instagram page. No shit 1,204,382 followers on my insta. Just like he said. 

“Eden! We have to celebrate!” that was Jonah taking the phone from Josh, “We have to get you a publicist. This is amazing! You can’t believe how proud I am of you.”

“Thanks for rubbing it in J,” I hear Josh say over a yawn in the background. I heard Jonah say something like you know what I mean as he pulled the phone away as I stared at the follower count on my phone. I switched over to my twitter and it read 1.1M just like he said.

I never expected my instagram to blow up like that overnight. Especially over something like this. I for sure thought that my follower count would drop, not rise! There were tons more posts than yesterday that I was tagged in shared over and over again. Most of the comments were in praise of my actions with the odd 'she looks like a hoe' here and there but I didn’t care. I had 1 million followers on both of my social media accounts!

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