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"Tell me why we're stuck in this boiling hellhole."
"Because you snooped around, Potter."
"That was because you were following me, Snape!"
"Or rather, you were looking for something to do, and that ended up being whisking us away to the middle of who-knows-where."
"Stop making it sound romantic, you sniveling bastard!"
Severus turned and shoved James against the wall of the room they were in.
"Your ass must be envious of all the shit that's coming out of your mouth today," Severus hissed. "Don't forget who got us here in the first place."
James gulped, and Severus let him go.
Ever since James Potter — a new transfer student from Ilvermorny who had been Sorted into Gryffindor in a private ceremony — had strutted into the halls of Hogwarts, he won over the other students in September of Severus's seventh year. There hadn't been a day that went by without a mention of his good looks and deeds. However, James's popularity hadn't been what began the rivalry.
It had been when James got heart eyes for Lily Evans that Severus had started to have a real problem with the new student.
Lily was the most popular Gryffindor and Severus's best friend since childhood. He had known from the moment he saw her that he'd do anything to protect her. She had been the one who had saved him from himself when his parents' violence and neglect had become too much to bear.
Now, after three months of James's presence, Severus felt like he was at wit's end. He didn't know what to do in regards to getting James under control because the American continually refused to see his and Severus's rivalry as anything but a battle to win Lily's heart.
"What did you say we needed to find?" asked James, pulling Severus back to the present.
"A tire and some antifreeze," Severus responded snarkily.
James gave him a confused look. "Antifreeze?"
"It keeps the radiator from overheating."
As Severus continued searching, he went back to thinking of what had brought them to this burning desert in the first place.
It had been this morning when he had set out to collect a rare potions ingredient — a plant called lanuae magicae. It possessed teleportation properties and could only be found in the Forbidden Forest — specifically at noon. James had snuck in from behind and asked Severus what the latter had been doing. Severus, holding the plant in one hand, had turned around and told James to mind his own business.
However, the Gryffindor had persisted in his search for answers by snatching the plant from Severus's free hand. Just as the Slytherin had grabbed James's wrist to get the plant back, the boys were somehow transported to a boiling-hot desert. It had only been because James had taken a trip with his family that they figured they were in Arizona. Once Severus and James had gotten their bearings, they had set out on a long walk. Neither of them were seventeen yet, so they couldn't have Apparated nor could they have used magic.
It had been pure instinct that had led the two teens to a gas station just outside of one of the Native American reservations in the area. Since Severus was Muggle-raised, his father had forced him to learn how to drive. Normally, Tobias wouldn't have cared about Severus's wellbeing, but for some reason, the patriarch of the Snape household had decided it was imperative that his son at least learn how to drive, 'if the boy has to be such a girl with everything else.'
Severus, using the skills he had learned from his father, had hot-wired one of the sedans there and forced James into the passenger's seat. Then, he had taken the wheel. After a few hours of sweating and mutual complaining about the blinding hot weather, they had found themselves at a corner store closer to town. Subsequently, Severus had gotten into an argument with James over whether they'd steal supplies or not.
"Just because you're a conniving little bitch doesn't mean you have to make me one," James had hissed.
"A what?" Severus had gasped, shocked at the American's lack of a filter. "If you wish to starve, be my guest, but I won't. I'd rather live to see adulthood, thank you very much."
In the end, James had agreed to their scheme, following Severus inside the store and sneaking into the supply closet when the clerk wasn't looking.
Now, they were rummaging through the pile of things. So far, they had only uncovered endless cans of soda pop.
"Found anything?" said James, and the sound of his American voice grated on Severus's ears. The latter had to dodge a piece of cardboard that was flung in his direction as James continued looking for coolant.
"What do you think?" was Severus's snappish response, kicking the cardboard away. Holding up his empty hands, he added, "Does it look like I've found anything?"
"Damn, Snape, no need to be so rude," replied the Gryffindor, and Severus turned his head to see his sworn enemy backing off with his hands held up.
"Remember who got us here in the first place," reminded the Slytherin. As Severus began heading to the other side of the cramped, stuffy room, he tripped over something big. He let out a little, "Oof!" as he fell on his forearms. Severus growled under his breath at the barking laugh that came from behind him.
"Looks like we've found a tire. Nice job, Snape."
"Sod off."
Helping himself up, Severus spotted an antifreeze container in the corner of the room, and he hurried over to get it as James lifted the tire over his head. Upon seeing the American's little display of strength, Severus rolled his eyes.
The teens snuck out of the corner store and headed back to the car, which was parked nicely out of sight behind a large pile of shrubbery. James placed the tire in the trunk as Severus headed to the front of the car. Once the Slytherin had poured some coolant into the radiator, he got in the driver's seat and waited for his enemy to get inside. However, Severus didn't wait for James to buckle his seatbelt as he started up the car and began driving.
"Wait up, man!" said James, looking stunned. "I still need to buckle —"
"Not my problem," interrupted Severus with a sneer. "Be quicker next time."
The Slytherin fought a groan as he felt beads of sweat roll down his forehead. He had forgotten how hot it was due to the air conditioning in the store.
As they drove on the road, Severus started to think of ways they could get back to Hogwarts. As he put his pride aside and turned to ask James if he had any ideas, the American spoke with a tired expression.
"Why do you hate me so much, Snape? What did I do to make you so angry?"
"You know exactly what you did, Potter. If your memory is so muddled that even you don't remember the love you declared for Lily Evans back in September, I suggest you see a Healer." Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Severus focused his hard glare on the road in front of him.
"Yeah, but people act crazy all the time when they're in love. I…I can't control myself when I'm around her." Severus rolled his eyes at the fondness in James's tone. It was terribly American, and Severus wouldn't stand for it.
"Do shut up. I'm trying to drive, not vomit."
"It's not my fault you're bitter," said James with a shrug. "I get it. Everyone likes me, and because of that, you don't have a chance with Lily. But it's okay." Severus tried not to purposely crash the car as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You're still kind of good-looking in your own way. There's someone for you out there, that's for sure. You just gotta be patient."
At that last sentence, Severus saw red. Swerving to the side, he slammed on the brakes and turned to face James.
"When will you get it through your thick skull that I don't like her in that way? I have been friends with Lily Juniper Evans since we were nine years old. If she's in pain, I'm in pain. If she's happy, I'm happy. We are connected in heart and soul. Last summer, she had a boyfriend. He was exactly like you: charming and handsome. But then I saw bruises on Lily's wrists. She got thinner. Her eyes became bloodshot, and dark circles formed under them. In the end, I had to stop her from throwing herself down her staircase! So forgive me if I appear 'crazy' by trying to protect her from even more suffering!"
As he stopped talking, Severus panted, feeling lighter than he had before. He relished the look of shock on James's face as he struggled to say something. At the end, James remained silent, and Severus got back to driving on the highway.
"I…I didn't realize that she had been abused," said James quietly after a while.
"No, you wouldn't," agreed Severus. He was too exhausted from his earlier shows of antagonism to show any more. "She's always had a bubbly personality. Even back in Cokeworth, where we live, she's a light to the darkness of our neighborhood. That's why she was taken advantage of by that filthy piece of shit."
James sat straighter in his seat. "I would never do that to her. She's too good. I can't imagine anyone could have done those disgusting things."
"For once, I agree with you, Potter," said Severus. "But this changes nothing. Unless you can prove to me that you will give nothing but your best to Lily, then I will continue to drive you away until you are too far to make eyes at her. You understand?"
Severus was admittedly pleased to see the light determination that glazed over the other boy's eyes.
"Of course I do."
"Good. Do you know how we can get back to England?" asked Severus, channeling all his focus on the arduous task ahead of them.
James looked caught off-guard as he answered, "Um...my uncle? I have an uncle, a wizard, in Phoenix. That's why I went here with my mom and dad."
"You're finally becoming useful, Potter." Severus decided that maybe it would be good to actually trust the boy next to him. "I'll buy a map at the next gas station. Then, you'll give me directions to your uncle's house."
James said nothing to that, but he did nod his head.
…
By the time the boys finally found Charlus Potter's house in the heart of the Phoenician suburbia, it was past midnight. Severus parked the car in the driveway of the large house and ushered James to the front door.
After knocking loudly, James and Severus had to wait for nearly twenty minutes before a tall, groggy man who looked almost identical to James answered the door.
"Jimmy?" he hissed, his eyes widening comically.
"In the flesh!" said James with a smirk.
"The hell…? What are you doing here? And who's the other kid?"
"Uncle Charlie, meet Severus! We were fooling around in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts, and that's how we ended up in Arizona. Thank Merlin that it was here and not New York!"
Before James could say more, a female voice yelled, "Charlie? What's goin' on?"
"It's just Jimmy, Dorea!" yelled Charlus before saying roughly, "Get inside."
Severus felt himself being pulled through the threshold and led to the sitting room as the woman called Dorea switched on the lights. He and James were pushed onto a sofa which was plush and velvety — a sign of James's family's wealth.
"Now let's get to business," said Charlus, pulling up a chair. "Jimmy, you're gonna tell me exactly what in God's name is going on, and then, if we can, we'll see about getting you both back to Hogwarts. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," said James, not at all fazed by his uncle's burly attitude.
He launched into a dramatized tale of how he and Severus found a special plant which somehow teleported them to Arizona. It was all Severus could do to not roll his eyes as James raved about his own quick thinking and knowledge of geography. By the time James was finished, Severus was physically holding his breath so as to not snap at the Gryffindor to shut up.
As a reaction, Charlus looked pensive. After a long, awkward silence, Charlus finally opened his mouth to respond.
"All right," he said with an exhale. "I have an idea, so listen carefully."
Severus's ears perked up, fully prepared to listen to what Charlus had in mind.
"What is it, Uncle Charlie?" asked James.
"I've never been to England so I can't Apparate you there. However, I do know a guy who used to teach at Hogwarts before moving here to teach at Ilvermorny. Familiar with Ridge Kettleburn?"
Severus's eyebrows furrowed as he tried recalling a Ridge Kettleburn. The name Kettleburn was familiar, for the Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts bore that name. However, that teacher's first name was Silvanus. Were they brothers? Severus suddenly remembered that the Arithmancy teacher before Septima Vector had been a Kettleburn. This was exactly what the Slytherin told Charlus, who grinned widely at the revelation.
"Well, good news is that he lives up in Massachusetts. I can Apparate you both there and then have him Apparate you to England. But first, sleep. From the looks of it, you both had a long day. I'll set you both up in the spare room —"
"I can sleep here," said Severus in a rush, paling at the thought of sharing a room with James, of all people.
"Nonsense!" said Dorea. It was the first time she was speaking since she had asked her husband what had been happening; she had walked in and stood by her husband while James and Severus talked. "You deserve a comfortable bed. Look how patchy you are! And it's far too late for a bath."
"Oh, come on!" said James cheerfully. "It won't be bad." Severus clenched his fist at the other boy's patronizing smile. It was almost as if the Gryffindor wanted a slow, painful death.
"Fine," gritted the Brit at the expectant looks of the three Potters. At least he wouldn't be sleeping in a car tonight.
…
"Open up, Ridge! It's me, Charlie!"
Severus shivered as Charlus pounded on the door of Ridge Kettleburn's house. The previous night had been uneventful. James had been out like a light as soon as they had entered the room, not even bothering to brush his teeth. Severus had completed his nightly ablutions and cleaned up his face before curling up in a cozy corner, blessing Charlus and Dorea for having carpeted floors. The boys had then eaten a quick breakfast before leaving the house. Now, it was midday, and Charlus was at Ridge Kettleburn's house to get Severus and James back to Hogwarts.
The door swung open to reveal a paunchy-looking man who had clearly seen better days. He looked almost nothing like Professor Kettleburn, but in personality, he was essentially a clone.
"'Ello, Charlie!" he boomed, clapping Charlus on the shoulder. "What've we got 'ere?"
"They need to get back to Hogwarts, for they lost their way while…exploring." Charlus side-eyed James at that. "You used to teach there, right?"
"You bet!" said Ridge cheerfully. "Come on, boys! No time to waste, yeah?"
"See you, Uncle Charlie!" called James, giving his uncle a quick hug. Severus murmured a thanks before Ridge pulled them inside the house.
"All right, then," said Ridge as soon as the door clicked shut. "Grab an arm. We're goin' back home!"
James complied in a heartbeat. Severus complied as well without outward enthusiasm, relieved he'd be back in England in moments' time. In a split second, the three of them were at the edge of the Hogwarts grounds, and it was with elation that Severus realized he was finally home. He fell to his knees in relief as James whooped and hollered. The Slytherin turned to thank Ridge for his help only to flinch at the telltale crack that meant the former Hogwarts professor was gone.
"We did it!" yelled James. "Merlin, we did it!"
"Yes, yes, hooray," muttered Severus, coming back to his senses. "Now get out of my way. I need to explain my absence to Slughorn." As he stood up to head back to the Slytherin dungeons, he felt a hand on his wrist.
"Wait!"
"What?" snapped Severus.
"Let's be friends. You're a pretty cool guy and a funny one, too. Besides, it seems like you're like family to Lily, and because of that, I want — no, need — to get on your good side."
Severus sighed. "Potter —"
"I'm serious, man. Let's put the past behind us. Clearly, we're stronger together than when we're apart."
"Who's being romantic now?" quipped Severus, failing to hide a smirk.
"For Merlin's sake, just accept it, will you?" asked James exasperatedly, running a hand stressfully through his hair. "I like you. I want to get to know you better. You're smart, intelligent, and witty. What of it?"
For a long moment, Severus considered putting their rivalry to rest. However, it would be horribly out of character for him to simply concede. But he also saw the benefits of being friends with a popular kid. He wouldn't lie to himself — the possibilities were tempting.
With that thought in mind, Severus held out his hand.
"Fine. Our dispute was horribly tiresome, anyways."
James beamed. "Awesome!" He shook Severus's hand quickly. "You won't regret this!"
As James walked away with a spring in his step, Severus couldn't help but chuckle at the previous day's events. They were something he likely wouldn't forget for a long time.