Work Text:
“Ah, what the fuck?” Katsuki shouts, words muffled by the thin barrier between their rooms.
Eijirou can hear him toss something against their shared wall. Doesn’t seem too heavy, by the sound of it, so he must not be trying to break a hole through the wall or anything.
If Katsuki really wanted to make sure they never saw their security deposit again, Eijirou has no doubt he’d not be above kicking down a whole wall. So, all in all, it seems to be about a 5.5 on the Pissed Katsuki Scale.
Curious, Eijirou puts down his game and steps out of his room. In the hallway, a sliver of light cuts through the darkness. Cautiously, Eijirou pushes Katsuki’s half-closed door wider and peeks around the frame.
“What’s up, bro?”
Katsuki stands in the middle of his room, fuming, arms crossed with a pretty scowl carving deep lines into his forehead. Even on his days off he looks camera ready like this: freshly showered, fitted turtleneck, immaculate hair.
“I fucking told PR a million times that I don’t want any fucking cutesy merch associated with my brand.”
“Oh?” Eijirou walks in and peers around the room. There is a cardboard box upended on its side by the wall. Bingo.
“What’d they send ya?”
Katsuki tosses his arms up into the air and gestures in the direction of the box. His hand falls down to pinch the bridge of his nose as if he’s in physical pain.
“Let’s see here,” Eijirou mumbles, tipping the box over and looking inside. “Awww, bro! He’s so cute!”
“That’s the damn point!” Katsuki growls, snatching the plushie version of himself from Eijirou’s hands and shaking it so hard that Tiny Dynamight’s little head whips back and forth dangerously.
“Bro! Be gentle!”
Katsuki snarls, hands coming to a stop only to squeeze into the toy until his knuckles turn white.
“My Best Friend Dynamight TM,” Eijirou reads, picking up the little flame-shaped tag that fell off during Katsuki’s violent assault. “Aww, bro! That’s so sweet!”
“If you like it so much, you fucking take it,” Katsuki hisses, shoving the doll into Eijirou’s arms. “Get it outta my sight before I blow it up.”
Eijirou hugs the plushie to his chest and grins.
“For real?!”
“Tch. Now get out I have someone to fire. Or immolate.”
Eijirou pouts.
“Aw, give them a break. Kids have probably been clamoring for toys of you! You’re the number two hero!”
“Don’t fucking remind me,” Katsuki grumbles, shooing Eijirou away. “Now, scram.”
Eijirou hears Katsuki screaming and carrying on through the wall for the next hour. He tries to tune it out, but it’s just too loud, so he finally decides to slip on his headphones and dick around on his phone for a bit.
He’s idly scrolling through Titter, checking out his feed and chuckling at the odd joke here and there, when he sees their agency sharing out Katsuki’s newest photo shoot.
And, fuck, the pictures are good.
It’s Katsuki working out in the gym, all dramatic lighting and in black and white. The lack of color only serves to make his sweat-drenched body look stronger, more toned… hotter…
Shit.
Eijirou scrolls through the photos and feels his pants tightening around him. This has to be a new record for him. In all his years of simping over his bestie he’s never popped a boner this quickly. And boy is he hard now. Really hard.
He briefly takes his headphones off to see if Katsuki has quieted down yet, but he’s still verbally tearing someone a new one. Sucks that he’s being a dick to someone, but at least it’ll be good for one thing. He won’t be able to hear Eijirou through the wall.
Placing his phone on his side table, Eijirou rummages under his bed for his favorite pillow and tosses it on his unmade sheets. His well-loved fleshlight and lube are tucked in a box nearby, so he grabs those while he’s at it.
He isn’t sure when he started doing this. It seems like ever since he discovered the concept of masturbation, Eijirou has humped pillows to get off. It’s soft and comfortable and he loves the pressure he can get if he angles himself just right.
And pillows are easily replaceable.
Eijirou’s quirk has a habit of misfiring when he gets really horny. So, rather than destroying his mattress (or dick) he likes to stick to pillows. It’s safer and cheaper.
Finally ready, he kicks off his shorts and straddles the pillow, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He slicks up one hand from his pump bottle of lube and strokes his erection lovingly while he anticipates what’s about to come.
Eijirou sucks his lip between sharp teeth and bites down as he fumbles to pull up the photo shoot on his phone with his clean hand.
It’s awkward and he winds up smearing lube all over the pillowcase when he tips forward while positioning his fleshlight just now he likes.
Over the years he has refined his method, going from clumsy pillow fucker to... well, he doesn’t know. Mature pillow fucker?
Through trial and error, Eijirou has discovered that he has his best orgasms when when he edges himself to tears with the pillow before dipping down to slide into the toy. Then he can switch from frenzied humping to proper fucking until he fills up the cocksleeve with his cum.
He’s about to begin, already queuing up his favorite Katsuki-centered fantasies, when he spies the Dynamight plushie sitting near his headboard.
Well, there’s an idea.
He deliberates for only a moment before deciding hey what the fuck? you only live once. Maybe it’s the blood draining from his brain to settle in his dick, but he doesn’t even feel that weird about it.
And he realized then that he wants to defile the damn thing, wants to rub his balls all over the soft frowning face. Wants to soak his cum into the cotton of Tiny Dynamight’s costume.
Fuck. Why is the idea of messing up such a cute toy getting him so hard?
Eijirou groans, cock throbbing, but if he’s gonna go for it... he’s really gonna go for it.
So he pauses, pulls out some water bottles from his mini-fridge, pours them into an empty bowl he’s been using to store some protein bars, and zaps it into the microwave. He lets the water warm up, impatiently shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
When the microwave dings and the water is warm, he eagerly brings it to his table, aware that he’s spilling all over the place. Once situated, he tosses his fleshlight and the bottle of lube into the bowl to warm up.
He normally can’t be bothered to go to such lengths to jerk off, but this is a special occasion.
Eijirou only lasts a few minutes before he can’t wait any more. He pulls them out, slops in several pumps of lube into the wet toy and repositions it between the plushie’s legs.
Eijirou’s blood rushes in his ears as he lines himself up and teases his head against the slit, imagining how Katsuki would beg him to get in already in that adorably petulant voice of his.
“Ah, fuck,” he pants, rubbing circles around the entrance of the toy with his drooling cock. He slips the tip inside, just barely, and with a groan pulls out, prepared to edge himself to a toe-curling orgasm.
“Katsuki, fuck, you’re so warm,” Eijirou breathes out, hips rocking in slow circles and slowly sinking down into the fuckhole. “Fuck! God, you’re so tight.”
One of Eijirou’s hands grips around the plushie’s middle, pretending it’s Katsuki’s narrow waist instead.
“Such a tight little hole,” Eijirou moans, slowly picking up his pace and rolling his hips to fuck into the imaginary Katsuki. “You been saving yourself for me, baby?”
He pictures Katsuki’s red face, flustered, angry, in denial. Exquisite.
“Fuck. My little virgin Katsuki. Never been touched,” Eijirou mumbles to himself, cock twitching inside the toy. “I’m the first to wreck this hole, aren’t I? God damn.”
Eijirou’s cock slides in and out of the warm hole as he imagines the way Katsuki’s pink rim would look straining to contain all nine, thick inches of Eijirou. His balls, full and sensitive, drag against the sheets in a way that gives him goosebumps.
“I always knew you’d be tight like this. God, I can hardly stuff my cock inside you. How does it feel, Katsuki?” His hips piston back and forth faster. “How does it feel to have your best friend rearranging your guts like this? Do you think I’m going to break you?”
Katsuki would probably sneer, spit some kind of vitriol at him, say to bring it on, to stop messing around and fuck him like he means it.
“Shit, I’m gonna give it to you so good. You’ll have to call off work tomorrow, babe. You won’t be walking anywhere.”
The real Katsuki would probably blast him for saying shit like this, but Tiny Dynamight’s stuffed body simply rocks back and forth where it is fucked into the mattress, unbothered and frustratingly clean.
“You look so good like this, Katsuki. So fucking good taking my cock. This is the sweetest cherry I've ever popped, you know?” Eijirou’s breath catches in his throat and he moans louder as he slams home.
“‘Course you’re better than Izuku. So much tighter than Tetsu. Even wetter than Ochako and Mina. Fuck, you’re always perfect, Katsuki.”
A punched-out moan. A wet squelch as lube froths and drools out of the little plastic pussy.
“Katsuki, my little, virgin cockslut. Shit, that sounds good.” Eijirou groans.
“God, I want to bend you over every piece of furniture in this apartment and fuck you until your legs give out.”
His blood is really heating up now, liquid fire swirling in his veins.
Katsuki would look so good drooling against the dining table while Eijirou pounds him from behind. He can see the way his ass would clap and shake with each thrust now.
“Shit, Katsuki, you don’t even know that I’m picturing you every time I blow a load. I want inside you so bad. Fuck, you'll be so good for me, won’t you?”
The doll rocks back and forth, soft and pliant.
Eijirou closes his eyes, imagines folding Katsuki in half, fucking him into a mating press.
“Gonna pump you pull of my kids,” Eijirou sighs, wiping his brow with the back of his arm. “Gonna breed this virgin ass until you can’t walk. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck!”
Eijirou’s back arches, skin tingling and hot. Would Katsuki scratch up his back if he were here? Would he burn the imprints of his palms into Eijirou’s golden shoulders? God, Eijirou hopes so.
Is it wrong that Eijirou begins to hope that his friend, just one door over, might actually hear him spew these obscenities?
Fucking this hole is great and all but Eijirou knows it can’t possibly hold a candle to the real thing.
Shit, if he doesn’t make a move on Katsuki soon, he’s going to burst out of his skin. Soon pillows and dolls won’t be enough to satisfy him. No, he definitely wants more.
“Can’t believe I get to be the first one to fill this ass full of cum,” Eijirou groans, eyelids fluttering. “Gonna be so full, baby. Yer belly is going to swell.” He gasps, picturing his cock curving up into Katsuki’s abdomen, bulging and throbbing. “Why are you so perfect?”
Eijirou is suddenly torn between wanting to finish all over the plushie and wanting to continue the role play in his mind where he’s about to breed Katsuki so well that he’ll be ruined for anyone else.
He’s running out of time to decide.
His vision narrows in on the tiny Katsuki, hearing tuned in only to his panting, the creak of his bed springs, the slop of lube oozing from the warm pussy. There is a pressure weighing him down, causing his eyes to close, his mouth to drop open into a pretty little ‘o’.
A bead of sweat rolls down Eijirou’s face. His cock twitches inside Katsuki, balls draw up tight and heavy. A muscle in his thigh tenses, flesh shivering, as he begins to falter in his thrusts.
Eijirou feels his throat vibrate with a low grumble that claws it’s way out of his mouth with an increasingly pitchy timbre. Then he’s fucking calling out Katsuki’s name, picturing his best friend cumming so hard that it splashes into his own mouth.
“K-k-AAAAAT—“
The dam breaks and Eijirou tips over the edge, release gushing out in four mighty pulses. He fucks himself through it, mind hazy and filled with pictures of Katsuki’s face.
Distantly he can hear fabric ripping, can hear himself shouting, but his body feels so liquid and dreamy that he can’t be bothered to think much about it.
Eijirou collapses forward, narrowly avoiding hitting his head against the wall, and his body quakes with the intensity of the orgasm.
Just thinking about it has another shot of cum squirting out of his cock and soaking into his sheets.
He cant move. His limbs are jelly, his brain mush. He could be floating or maybe melting for all Eijirou knows. Drool slips out between his lips as he weakly moans into the mattress.
After his breathing finally settles and he can begin to imagine the possibility of resuming life like a normal human he hears a throat being cleared.
Eijirou pushes up, flushed and confused, to see Katsuki standing in the doorway, arms crossed and face dark.
“You really think I’m a fucking virgin, Shitty Hair?” Katsuki growls, stalking forward with leonine grace toward the bed. “I’m about to show you how wrong you are.”
Katsuki peels off his shirt and grabs Eijirou’s hips where they have collapsed on the bed.
“Open wide, doll.”