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2021-05-14
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Disclosed Regrets

Chapter 32: Empathy IV - The Present (32)

Summary:

Empathy continues....

Notes:

There’s more plot to the story now lol, here you go

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Wen Qing was standing behind Xue Yang’s unconscious body, and she did not look impressed. At once, the crowd erupted into a fit of murmurs and Wen Qing found a variety of eyes fixed on her intently.

“Who’s that?”

“Hey, she’s dressed in red, and do you see that motif?” replied another. “Looks like she’s a Wen. How arrogant of her, to waltz in front of the cultivation world like that!”

“What did she do to that delinquent Xue Yang?”

“No way! Did she kill him?!”

“How horrible!”

“Hey!” snapped Wen Qing loudly, silencing everyone at once. Her presence was frigid and aloft, and no one dared to speak from thereon. She looked up at Lan Wangji and stared at him, to his confusion.

“What are you doing?” she said, rushing forward and pushing him aside. “Hanguang-Jun, give me the boy! Have you forgotten we have no Golden Cores here?”

Understanding befell them all at once. Everyone immediately shuffled backwards and made a large radius around Wen Qing, who was gently laying Lan Jingyi on his side. She looked pensively at his face, and put her ear to his mouth. “Lan Jingyi? Don’t speak. Are you having any difficulty breathing? Blink once if no, twice if yes.”

Jingyi blinked once, and Wen Qing immediately rummaged through her supply bag, pulled out a cutting of cloth and applied it to the wound. With one of her hands busy holding it down, she tried to grab something else within the bag but due to the awkward grip, she was unable to search for it properly.

“Will he,” said Wei Wuxian shakily. He swallowed thickly. “Will he be okay?”

“He’ll be fine, I have some emergency pills and creams that will work. Can you find them for me?” said Wen Qing, looking up at him. Wei Wuxian quickly dropped to his knees and followed her words. “The pill is in that small red pouch — yes, that one. Put it in his mouth. The cream is in that second packet, it’s green — here, smear it on the wound.”

Wei Wuxian’s hands shook so much as he applied it and he felt so dizzy. Everything had happened so quickly — Xue Yang, threatening those children — Jingyi, trying to stop him — and the long guqin string—

“The chord assassination technique. Either Jin Guangyao had taught him it, or they’re still scheming together even now,” said Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian looked down at his hands, and they were covered in droplets of blood, but Lan Wangji was already wiping it off with his pale handkerchief. “The wound was not deep, Wei Ying. Jingyi is okay.”

“I should never have trusted Xue Yang with him,” said Wei Wuxian, putting his face in his hands. “What was I thinking? I must have been insane to–”

“Our judgement may have been clouded, but,” said Lan Wangji sternly, looking him in the eye. “It isn’t your fault. Everyone here, they are all too comfortable… Have you noticed? While discussing matters of death, they are unaffected; when faced with past events, they treat it like an amusing play; when looking at old enemies, they do not wish to fight, but rather…”

“It’s like we feel the need for them to join in,” said Wei Wuxian, horrified. “If we were all in our right minds, Xue Yang would have been incapacitated instantly. But all we did was leave him with a disciple, and tie him up in ropes that he could easily escape from.”

“Exactly,” said Nie Mingjue, coming to stand beside them. He nodded at Lan Wangji, and then turned to face Wei Wuxian. “Yiling– No, Wei Wuxian , it is to my understanding that… you were able to control some resentful energy?”

Feeling quite timid, Wei Wuxian slowly nodded.

“You said you believe this is the Burial Mounds,” said Nie Mingjue coolly. “Our Golden Cores have been sealed, and we are unable to fight with cultivation. You cannot wield Resentful Energy as greatly as before, but for some reason there are still remnants you were able to wield just moments ago – and the rest of us, as cultivators, are unable to sense it. Why do you think that is?”

“Well, I thought it must have just been leftovers, but–” Wei Wuxian replied, and then his face went dark at once. “I could ignore it before, and also excused it at the time, but… It’s all around us. Everywhere.”

Lan Wangji and Nie Mingjue’s faces immediately snapped in his direction, and suddenly the room felt much smaller than before. They could practically imagine the cloud of gloom looming overhead, permeating the room with a dark cloak of shadows. “It’s almost as though…”

“It’s watching us, and influencing our minds,” They looked at the screen then, large and pale, ready to introduce the next scene, and mutual understanding befell them at once.

“There’s really no other way to get out?” said Nie Mingjue pensively. Nie Huaisang suddenly made a sound of intrigue, as though he wasn’t too disappointed by the outcome of the situation. “I suppose to find out why we are here, we will have to watch to the end. Wei Wuxian, Hanguang-Jun, if , by any chance, when it finishes I cannot leave this place, then there’s something I’d like to ask of you.”

“Of course,” said Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian at once, but before Nie Mingjue could elaborate, Nie Huaisang was bawling into his arms.

“No, Da-ge, don’t say that!” he sobbed. “You’re leaving this place with me! If you think of saying something like that again, I’ll break your legs!”

“Chifeng-Zun, I believe that you shouldn’t pre-emt such an outcome,” said a soft voice. Li Daiyu came forward and gently patted Nie Huaisang on the head. Her dark hair was swept over her shoulders and her blue eyes twinkled with good intentions. “Huaisang has had a hard enough time as-is. Please, for me, treat the time here as though you will leave.”

Nie Mingjue looked at her for a few moments before he smiled, respect dancing in his eyes. “Huaisang, you have chosen well,” he said simply, before returning to his seat.

“A-Yuan,” called a voice softly, and the name was so unique that it caught Wei Wuxian’s attention in an instant.

Wen Qing was looking at Lan Sizhui, who was staring at her in awe, and she was watching him intently as though seeing him for the first time.

“Q-Qing-Jie?” he murmured tentatively. Wei Wuxian knew that Sizhui had slowly been regaining his memories over the years, and he had instantly recognised Wen Qing. Wei Wuxian had been so preoccupied with everything that was happening that he hadn’t properly introduced them. Sizhui probably had no idea she was here, and he hated himself fiercely at the thought. 

“Qing-Jie, is that really you?” he continued, taking a tentative step towards her. Wen Qing gently patted Lan Jingyi on the shoulder, who was fiddling with the cloth around his neck, and closed the distance.

“You’ve grown up so well, A-Yuan,” she said softly, putting his head on her shoulder. “I’m glad you made it out. I am so, so glad.”

She looked up at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, and sent them both a small, grateful smile. They nodded at her, and the brightness from the screen made both her and Sizhui fade into the distance.


When she was sure the pair had left, A-Qing broke down into a fit of sobs. “Daozhang, please don’t blame me or that other Daozhang,” she cried, loudly sniffling. “That other Daozhang was tricked by that rotten man, he didn’t do this intentionally.”

She reached for his face with a delicate hand and respectfully closed his eyelids. “I’m going back now. I hope you’ll watch over me from up there in the heavens, and aid me in saving Xiao Xingchen-Daozhang,” she said, slowly dropping to her knees in a kowtow. “Please, let us escape that demon’s grasp, and give that lying monster Xue Yang what he deserves, and cut him in pieces so he is never able to reincarnate.”


Both Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen hung their heads and sat in silence for a few moments. They thought of all the lives lost in the Yueyang Chang clan, in Baixue Temple, and in Yi City, who Xue Yang had heartlessly killed without any reason. At first, it was simply disproportionate revenge, but soon Xue Yang had lost so much of his humanity that he received great joy in ending a life.

They thought of him, too, and the child that had lost its innocence that day, and was shown the harsh, unfortunate truth of the world far too early.


That same night, Xue Yang spent his evening carving small bunnies from apple slices, and he idly hummed a tune as he did so. When Xiao Xingchen noticed A-Qing at the doorway, he made a sound of acknowledgement. “A-Qing, you’re back late. Where’d you go off to play today?”

A-Qing’s eyes were red-rimmed and sore, and it was very clear that she had just been crying. Therefore, she replied with silence. Xue Yang noticed as such, and he looked up. “What happened? Her eyes are all puffy.”

Xiao Xingchen set down the plate of food and he looked at her worriedly. “What’s wrong?” he said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders. “Did someone bully you?”


“She’s always saying Xue Yang is bullying her, but does she cry?” said a middle-aged woman, sighing. “Aiyoh, it’s obviously something more than that.”


A-Qing was unable to hold in her tears, and she quickly burst into a fit of sobs, all the while conjuring a lie in improvisation. “Am I that ugly?” she sobbed, barrelling into his arms. “Am I ugly? Daozhang, please tell me, am I really that ugly?”

Xiao Xingchen immediately started to pat her head and comfort her. “Of course not. A-Qing is beautiful. Who said you were ugly?”


“She’s quite smart, to be able to conjure a lie so quickly,” said Ouyang Zizhen appreciatively. “And such a convenient one, at that.”

“Are you an idiot?” said Jin Ling incredulously. “It’s so obviously a lie. Who cries just because they were told they’re ugly? If all girls were that delicate, then the whole of Jinlin Tai would have a great river down the middle!”

“Hey, Clan Leader Jin, all due respect,” Yu Huizhong murmured. “But why, pray tell, are people in Jinlin Tai so cruel to maidens that their tears would… what did you say? Make a great river?”

Meanwhile, Li Daiyu was clearly gesturing to a certain Jin Zixun, who didn’t look very pleased at her pointing fingers at him.


Xue Yang scoffed at her. “You’re really ugly. Even uglier when you cry.”

“Don’t be like that,” Xiao Xingchen scolded.

“It’s not like you can see, Daozhang!” A-Qing cried. “He said I’m ugly, so I must really that ugly! Ugly and blind!”


“Ah, I didn’t think of that,” said Lan Jingyi softly, now that his throat was feeling a bit better. “So it’s true, then! People really tell others they’re beautiful, or they’re kind — whatever that person wants to hear!”


“You came back crying just because they said you’re ugly?” said Xue Yang, disturbed. “Where did your usual unreasonable rudeness go?”


“Aiya, look at them banter like that,” Luo Qingqing solemnly. “They look like siblings, when they aren’t at each other’s throats.”

Yu Huizhong nodded sadly. “To think of how happy their lives would have been, should Xue Yang have not been who he was.”


You’re rude!” A-Qing screamed furiously. Not even a moment later, the pitiful facade was back on her face when she looked at Xiao Xingchen. “Daozhang, do you have any money left?”

Xiao Xingchen made a thoughtful sound. “Hm… I think so.”

“I do,” Xue Yang quickly chimed in. “I can lend you some.”


“That’s so suspicious,” said Chu Rong, nodding alongside Wen Ruohan, who had been discussing many theories with her. “Why would Xue Yang give her money when she asks for it? Could it be that he really has started to feel some affection for the poor girl?”


“I want to go buy some pretty clothes and pretty jewellery. Can you come with me?” she sniffled.


“What is she doing?” said Jiang Cheng bewilderedly. “Shouldn’t she be telling Xiao Xingchen about what she saw? And she just wants money to buy some things?”

“Clan Leader Jiang, when a woman feels ugly, what do they want the most at that point in time?” said Lan Jingyi.

Jiang Wanyin looked at him as though he was purposely wasting his time. “I don’t know?” he said. “To improve their cultivation? That way, although people can look down on their appearance, they cannot belittle their skill in the sword.” When he finished, he looked so pleased with himself that Lan Jingyi couldn’t bring himself to correct him.

“They want to feel beautiful,” said Ouyang Zizhen. “Therefore, since someone called her ugly, she wants to make herself feel prettier by getting nice clothes.”

“But isn’t she supposed to be blind? How does that work?” said Jin Ling. “She wants to look more physically pleasing to herself, yet isn’t she pretending to be blind? She may as well be giving herself away!”

“This is why you have yet to wed, Jin Ling,” is all Ouyang Zizhen replied.


“I can, but it’s not as though I’d be able to help you see if they suit you or not,” said Xiao Xingchen.

“I can help her,” Xue Yang added, though his eyes were cold.


“Why does he look so angry?”

“Who knows. Do you think he’s caught on to A-Qing? Maybe he plans to go alone with her, and take the chance to kill her, once and for all!”

“Wait…” said Li Daiyu, slapping Nie Huaisang wildly on the arm. “I got it! Her feeling ugly is just a lie, right? Then not only does this outing support the lie, but it’s also a chance to get Xiao Xingchen alone and to expose Xue Yang! That must be why she wants to go!”

Nie Huaisang didn’t look very impressed — it was clear he had figured that out long ago — but nevertheless, he nodded along with Li Daiyu and praised her for her thinking.


“I don’t care! I don’t care! I want you —I don’t want him at all!” A-Qing exclaimed. “He’ll only call me ugly! And call me Little Blind!”

“Alright,” Xiao Xingchen acquiesced. “How about tomorrow?”

“I wanna go tonight!”

“If you go tonight, all the vendors will be closed,” said Xue Yang, folding his arms. “Where could you get them?”

“Fine! Tomorrow then!” A-Qing said, and she looked so nervous there was practically sweat dripping down her face. “It’s a promise!”


“She looks so terrified,” observed Xiao Xingchen quietly. 

Song Lan thought the same, and looked down at A-Qing and slowly, gently patted her on the head. “You did good. Thank you.”

A blush rose to A-Qing’s face, but she preened under the rare contact Song Lan would usually instil.


“Let’s eat first.”

When they all sat up at the table, Xue Yang laughed at her and stuck his tongue out. A-Qing trembled, and quickly shovelled as much food as she could into her mouth.

“Well, I don’t think you look any better!” she yelled furiously, stabbing her chopsticks into the food. “You b—! You filthy maid! You loathsome little cockroach!”


“Young Maiden A-Qing is pretending to be so angered that she’s not in the mood to eat, but in reality she’s shaking in fear, huh?” said Nie Huaisang quietly. “This girl, she’s very, very brave.”


“Don’t waste food,” chided Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang’s eyes drifted to him and then back to his food.


“It’s not for no reason that Xue Yang could imitate Xiao Xingchen so well,” Li Daiyu murmured solemnly. “After all, they sat in front of each other every single day. He had lots of time to figure it out. It’s just so unfortunate to think how close they must have been.”


“Go to bed soon,” said Xiao Xingchen, picking up their empty plates and bowls and leaving. “We’ll go to the market tomorrow.”

A-Qing quickly turned away when Xue Yang suddenly called out her name. She instantly froze in fear. “W— Why did you suddenly call my name like that?!”


“Ah, she’s like a sad little bird. This Xue Yang needs to be locked up when we leave, because if he manages to escape just to intimidate other sad children, then I will personally beat him up myself!”

Many nodded along with the statement, their eyes fixed like a binding charm to Xue Yang, who was lying nearby Nie Mingjue and Wen Qing, still unconscious.


“Weren’t you the one who said that you don’t want to be called Little Blind?” said Xue Yang off-handedly.

“People don’t just suddenly act nice to others unless they’re hiding other intentions!” A-Qing spat. “Just what do you want?!”

“Nothing, really. I just wanted to teach you what to do next time others curse at you.”

“Huh. Tell me, then. What should I do?”

“If someone calls you ugly, make her even uglier. Make a few cuts on her face so that she’ll never have the guts to go outside again,” said Xue Yang, and A-Qing froze up in fear. “If someone calls you blind, carve one end of your pole sharp and stab once in both of her eyes so that she’ll also be blind. See if she dares to bad mouth you again.”

“You’re scaring me again!”

“Well, think what you want,” said Xue Yang, holding out the plate of apple slices for her to take from. “Eat up.”


“What a madman! Seriously, how does he get away while saying stuff like that?!”

“Look at poor A-Qing, trembling like a leaf. I guess she realises that everything he says is the truth, now.”

“At least she has an excuse for that look on her face like she expects someone to perform Lingchi on her…”

“You know,” said Li Daiyu quietly. Nie Huaisang made a sound of inquisition. “He was so angry earlier… Did you see? That was probably after hearing that someone dared to call her ugly, other than him. And now this. I think… That this is Xue Yang caring for her, in his own twisted way.”

As Nie Huaisang nodded silently, A-Qing, who had heard everything, cried quietly into her arm.


The next day was very bright and sunny, and all three of them were outside, dressed and ready to go out. “If you two are gone, it means I have to buy today’s food again?” asked Xue Yang.

“Why can’t you buy it? Think of how many times Daozhang bought them!” said A-Qing disgruntledly. “You're the only one who bullies and plays tricks on Daozhang all the time!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go buy it. I'll go right now,” said Xue Yang immediately.

As soon as she was sure he was sure he left, A-Qing nodded determinedly. ‘He should be far away enough now.’

“A-Qing, are you still not ready yet?” asked Xiao Xingchen. “Can we go now?”

Before he could continue, A-Qing grabbed his hand and dragged him back inside. She picked up the wooden plank and placed it over the door hinges, sealing the door securely.


The crowd erupted into a fit of both excited and nervous murmurs.

“This is it!” 

“Looks like she is finally telling him!”

“I can’t wait for that delinquent to be pummelled into the dust for biting the hand that fed him!”


“What’s wrong?” said Xiao Xingchen.

“Daozhang…” A-Qing turned to him, and her eyes were blank; horror-struck as though she had witnessed something so twisted and inhumane, and it made Xiao Xingchen double-take in surprise. “Do you know someone named Xue Yang?”

Xiao Xingchen’s smile disappeared instantly. “Xue Yang?” he asked, quickly grabbing A-Qing by the shoulders. “A-Qing, how did you learn of this name?”

“Xue Yang is the person with us!” A-Qing cried. “He’s that rotten guy!”

“With us?” said Xiao Xingchen, trembling. “With us?”

‘I can’t let Daozhang know that he killed living humans thinking that they were walking corpses,’ A-Qing thought, ‘I can’t let him know that he killed Song-Daozhang with his own hands either!’


“I don’t see this going well,” said Wen Qing, crossing her arms with a sigh. “A man like Xiao Xingchen would not simply run away. This girl should have gotten a sect involved. They would have been more inclined to help upon hearing it’s Xue Yang.”


“But his voice is different, and…”

“He disguised his own voice on purpose!” exclaimed A-Qing hysterically. “He was scared you’d recognise him! — Oh, right! Right, right! He has nine fingers!”

At once, Xiao Xingchen’s knees buckled. A-Qing fortunately caught him before he could fall to the floor, and she gently assisted him to sit on a chair.

“How did you find out that he has nine fingers?” said Xiao Xingchen, soft as though he didn’t want to believe what she was saying. “Have you touched his hand before? But if he really is Xue Yang, how could he have let you touch his hand and find out about his broken finger?”

A-Qing looked incredibly guilty, but she quickly replied, “Daozhang! Let me tell you the truth! I’m not blind — I can see! I didn’t touch his hand. I saw it!”

Xiao Xingchen’s head snapped up. “What did you say?! You can see?”


“I really feel so sorry for him!” said Ouyang Zizhen quickly. “First, he’s told the person he’s lived with and trusted for years is someone he is trying to kill… And now the girl he’s also treated like a sister tells him she had lied to him the entire time.”

“Imagine what he’s thinking… The two people he trusted the most have been lying to him. He probably feels like there’s no one on his side now, no one he can trust — after all, just recently, there was that falling out with Song Lan…”


“I’m sorry, Daozhang! I didn’t lie to you on purpose! I was scared you wouldn’t let me keep on following you after you knew that I wasn’t blind!” said A-Qing. “Let’s run away together. He’ll be back after he finishes shopping for food! Daozhang–”

When A-Qing next saw Xiao Xingchen, however, it was to the bandage over his eyes bleeding into red! “Daozhang, you’re bleeding!”


“Why would he be bleeding all of a sudden?”

“Maybe it’s the shock?”

“Perhaps it means he’s crying, but has no eyes to make tears.”

“That’s so sad! Where is Xiao-Daozhang, I really need to give him a hug!”


A-Qing quickly rummaged through the pouch attached to her sash and cleaned the area around his eyes.

“I’m fine… I’m fine, it’s only…” said Xiao Xingchen, taking her wrist. “An old injury. But if it’s really him, why didn’t he kill me from the start? And instead stay by my side for so many years? Why would he be Xue Yang?”


“Well that’s the question, isn’t it?” said Madam Jin. “We’re all wondering the same thing.”


“Of course, he wanted to kill you at first! But he was injured, he couldn’t move and needed someone to take care of him! Daozhang, we should hurry up and run, ah?”

Xiao Xingchen was silent for a few moments before he sighed. “A-Qing, you should go.”

“Go? Daozhang, we’re going together!”

“I can’t go,” said Xiao Xingchen, his tone not leaving any room for refusal. “I have to find out what he wants. He has to be after something. If I leave him here alone, all these people in Yi City will fall victim to his schemes. Xue Yang has always been like that.”

“A-Qing, he continued. “You can see and you’re a smart girl. I believe you can survive and give yourself a good life. You don’t understand how terrifying Xue Yang is as a person.”

‘I know! ’ A-Qing thought. ‘I know how scary he is!’

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. A-Qing rapidly paled. Xue Yang’s voice was muffled from the other side of it, “What’s going on in there? I’ve already come back, haven’t you guys left yet? If you haven’t, hurry up and remove the door latch and let me in. I’m exhausted.”


“It’s Xue Yang!”

“I knew they were taking too long! The girl should have just forced him to leave, if he really didn’t want to!”


A-Qing replied, “What’s wrong with this sister taking some time to change clothes? It’s not like it’s going to kill you!”

“How many clothes do you even have? No matter how many times you change it’s always the same. Open up, open up.”

“Psh!” A-Qing replied disgruntledly. “So what if I don’t open up?! Kick it open if you dare!”

“Haha, remember what you said,” Xue Yang murmured, smiling widely. “Daozhang, don’t blame me when you have to get the door fixed.”

He picked an apple out of his basket, took a big bite and kicked the door so fiercely it crashed to the floor. Xue Yang stepped inside, expecting to see A-Qing growling at him, but not a sword lodged in his stomach. His smile vanished.

“A-Qing!” exclaimed Xiao Xingchen. “Run!”

A-Qing immediately ran out of the house. ‘No, it’s too dangerous to leave Daozhang back there alone. I have to go back.’

She instead turned around and hid behind a pillar to watch the scene escalate.

“You think it’s fun?” Xiao Xingchen was saying.

“It is,” Xue Yang replied, and his voice was much deeper than before. “How isn’t it fun?”

‘So that’s his real voice!’


“How can someone conceal their true voice for such a long time?” said Jin Ling, scratching his head. “Did he make sure the wound didn’t heal or something?”

“When you’re a master of deception, A-Ling, things like creating facades, or even changing your voice, will come naturally to you,” Jin Zixuan replied and he placed a hand on his son’s head and started softly patting it. “Not every person you meet will have good intentions, but more than not trusting people, I want you to leave this place while trying to find the good in people, instead of the bad, ah?”

“Okay, A-Die,” Jin Ling murmured, his eyes unconsciously drifting to where Wei Wuxian was sitting.

‘I really treated Mo Xuanyu badly… I was even horrible about his attraction to men… I swear I would say sorry to him many, many times — after all, he still is my Uncle — but it’s too late now.’


“What was your goal in staying with me all these years?” asked Xiao Xingchen.

Xue Yang chuckled. “Who knows? Perhaps I was bored?”


“Only Xue Yang would find this situation amusing,” said Jiang Cheng, and he did not look impressed. Lan Xichen looked down at his hand, where he was idly fiddling with the ring of Zidian.


The answer was evidently not good enough, for Xiao Xingchen wrenched the sword out of Xue Yang’s stomach, leaving a long trail of thick blood in the wake.


“I’ve never seen Xiao Xingchen so furious,” said Luo Qingqing, making a sound of surprise. “Someone like Xue Yang must really infuriate him.”

Chu Rong, who was standing next to her, quickly nodded. “And he doesn’t even know the worst of it… I just hope he takes it well — evidently,” she glanced at Xiao Xingchen across the room. “This story will not have a happy ending, but I really hope it happens without any suffering.”


“Xiao Xingchen,” said Xue Yang coldly. “You probably don’t want to hear the latter half of that unfinished story, do you?”

“I don’t.”

“But I’m going to tell you anyway. After that, if you still think I’m in the wrong, then you can do with me as you like.”


“Here we go again,” said one of the disgruntled Lans. “He really doesn’t take no for an answer, does he? I heard Jingyi-Shixiong say the same thing last time — ‘ I don’t’ — and he still told it anyway!”


The child saw the guy who had tricked him into delivering the letter again. He felt wronged, but also so happy, and ran up to the other, crying, telling him — “I delivered the letter but I didn’t get any treats and got beaten up! Can you give me another plate?”

Xue Yang was clinging onto the man's robes, and he quickly kicked the child off like he was a pest. “Can’t you see I also got beaten?! F— off!”


“Who would use such language on a child?” exclaimed Jiang Yanli, putting a hand to her mouth. She could only imagine her A-Ling in that situation, cold, hungry, and helpless, and her heart ached for the poor boy scrambling on the floor.

She closed her eyes and reflected deeply. If A-Cheng hadn’t been the one to raise her son, who knows what would have happened to him? He could have turned out like that delinquent — cold and heartless — and so she felt more regret in her heart when she recalled her furious attitude towards him at the beginning. 

He had done so much for both her and A-Xian, and he was probably already beating himself up for what he did. Did she really have to lecture him like that, as though he was still a child — her young, sweet A-Cheng who she would have to scold whenever he did something wrong?


The man swiftly turned around and motioned for the servant to leave. Xue Yang was beaten and bruised, laying still on the floor, the remains of hope in his eyes completely vanishing. “You promised me…”

Determination in his eyes, he got back up and launched his body in front of the cart. “You promised me you’d give me treats!”


“Hey! Kid, this man’s clearly not planning to give you anything!” Li Daiyu exclaimed. “Go, go! Get out of the way!”


The man lifted up the curtain and snatched the horse whip off the servant. He hit Xue Yang squarely in the face, and sent him to the floor with a loud thud. Then, he started the cart once more, and the horses came clattering forward.

“Ignore him,” the man said, coldly watching with indifference as the wheels ran over the child’s hand with a sickening crunch, and one of the fingers detached itself and flew into the middle of the pathway.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!”


“That’s horrible… No child deserves that, no matter who they turn out to be in the future.”

I think he should have been made to join a Sect and reformed into an upstanding young man!” said Old Liu, sounding very certain in his words.

“Hey! There’s no redemption for his actions!” refuted Old Chang furiously. “What are you saying, you old fool?! Do you need to be sent to Cloud Recess to be ‘reformed’ into someone with even a slither of wits?! You shut up!”

You shut up!”


“And this man was Chang Pin’s father,” said Xue Yang, showing Xiao Xingchen his four-fingered hand. “Seven years old! All the bones in the left hand shattered, and a finger gone just like that! Xiao Xingchen, when you captured me and brought me to Koi Tower, so serious, so righteous, you questioned why I would wipe out an entire sect because of a little suspicion. Just because the finger isn’t yours, you can’t feel the pain?!”


“It’s not that he can’t feel the pain,” said Luo Qingqing, pressing the space between her eyebrows irritatedly. “It’s that your so-called ‘justice’ was not at all proportional! Someone cuts off your finger, you cut off theirs — fair enough, an eye for an eye — but if they, I don’t know, cut off your arm, would you go and massacre the entire city?! It’s delusion, I tell you! He’s absolutely mental!”

“...” Everyone looked at one another, shrugging helplessly. Who said he isn’t?


“And Why did I massacre his entire sect?” Xue Yang continued. “Why don’t you ask him why he’d come and trick and torment me for his own entertainment?! You can thank the Chang Clan for the Xue Yang you see today! The YueyangChang Clan merely got what it deserved!”

“If you wanted to take revenge on the Chang Clan for your finger, then take one of his fingers!” exclaimed Xiao Xingchen furiously. “Why did you have to kill all those innocents?”

Xue Yang’s eyes were cold. “It was only fifty-something people. How could they make up for even a single one of my fingers?”


“Only fifty, he says?! That’s an entire clan, too!”

“Well, if you compare it to Wei Wuxian’s 3000…”

“Shut up!” said half the crowd at once.


Xiao Xingchen was so shocked that he put a hand to his face and double-took. “Xue Yang, you truly are… Absolutely disgusting!”

Xue Yang’s eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked as though Xiao Xingchen had just deeply betrayed him. “Xiao Xingchen, I hate people like you the most. You all act so lofty, so righteous and think yourselves saints. You find me disgusting? Fine, you think I’d care? But, do you really have the right to find me disgusting?”

“What do you mean by that?” Xiao Xingchen bit out.


“He’s going to tell him,” said Li Daiyu, covering Nie Huaisang’s eyes. “I can’t watch this.”

“Why are you covering my eyes, then?” said Nie Huaisang bewilderedly. “Just close your own!”


“We haven’t gone out at night to kill walking corpses recently, have we?” said Xue Yang, his eyes crazed. “But, two years ago, we went out every few days to kill a whole bunch of them, no? And the family, from the young to the old, all kneeling down in front of you, hitting their heads against the ground and crying in an effort to gain your mercy. It’s too bad you’re blind now, so you couldn’t see the terror and pain on their faces when you pierced through their hearts.”

“If I hadn’t cut out their tongues, they would definitely be begging, ‘ Daozhang, please spare us!’ o r something like that.”

“You tricked me…” Xiao Xingchen sobbed. The blood dripping down from his bandaged eyes trickled down his face in place of a tear.

“That’s right, I tricked you,” said Xue Yang. “I always have been. Who would've thought you would believe all my lies, yet not believe me when I decide to tell the truth?”


“Maybe it’s because your truth is so, so , much more twisted than any lie you could conjure,” said Li Daiyu. “Maybe it’s because we want to believe in the better of the two things.”


Xiao Xingchen was so blind in his rage that his knees staggered. He leapt forward with his sword and attempted to strike Xue Yang once more. “ SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!”

“Alright, I’ll shut up!” said Xue Yang, smiling. He snapped his fingers twice. “If you won’t believe me, how about sparring with the one behind you? Let him tell you if I’m still lying to you or not!”


“Hey, didn't Xue Yang say if Xiao Xingchen didn’t think he deserved redemption, then he could do what he wanted to him?” said Yu Huizhong distrungledly. “What a bite-no-bark person! Well guess what, Xue Yang, I hate people like you!


There was a blur of colour, in which a figure struck forward to attack Xiao Xingchen. A pause. And then Xiao Xingchen’s lips trembled. “Are you… Zichen ?”

Notes:

Next Chapter: The end of Empathy! Then we work towards the end of Yi City arc!

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