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Idiots!

Chapter 4

Summary:

"He's an idiot."

No, Blasty, you're an idiot...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was 6am on a Saturday morning and Bakugou was enjoying the silence and peace that brought him. No extra was ever up this early on a weekend, which meant there was no Mina chuckling, no Sero referencing vines that died out years ago, no Deku running his mouth, no Iida to lecture him, no Yaoyorozu's fun facts, nothing… It was just him, alone in the kitchen with the fruit bowl he made himself for breakfast.

He was reading a comic book. It was about a superhero and a bit generic if Bakugou was being honest, but it was written in English which helped him learn the language. He found this to be a much more effective way of studying than just reading through the notes from Present Mic's class.

There was a scene when the superhero saved a woman, stuck on a balcony of a crumbling building, and she gave him a kiss as a way of thanks. Bakugou grimaced. He sure hoped nobody ever tried to put their filthy lips on him after he saved them. Why was that even acceptable? If anyone did that to him, he would push them back into the hole he rescued them from.

He turned the page and hoped for more hero action but it seemed like the author of this comic had a different kind of action in mind. Bakugou closed the thing so fast it flew down and under the table. For all he cared it could stay there. After all, he wanted to learn English not…that.

The next piece of fruit got stabbed with a lot more force than needed. He munched on the watermelon angrily, thinking how he was going to have to get a better comic, when his phone lit up with a notification. For once he didn't ignore it.

Dumbass: heyyy, bakugou, you up??

Of course he was up and Shitty hair knew it so what was the point of asking. A couple seconds later another message came through.

Dumbass: core workout day!!! wanna join??

It did not take long for Bakugou to make up his mind. His bowl was empty and he was not about to touch that comic again. He pocketed the phone, knowing Shitty hair didn't actually expect him to reply, and wrinced the dish before putting it into the dishwasher. Then, with a pace a bit too quick, headed in the direction of the form's gym, which was also on the ground floor.

He wasn't wearing the most suitable clothes but he figured he would just take off his shirt and that would be good enough. Eager to start actually doing something, he kicked the door open and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it into the corner and stepped into the room.

A whistle ripped through the silence and made Bakugou's head snap to its source as quick as a lightning bolt. There, lying on a purple mat, was Dunce face, grinning somewhat suggestively. What in the–

"Quite an entrance, I must say. Bet Kiri would appreciate it. Maybe you should wait until he comes back and repeat it."

Bakugou's brain went through a million thoughts in a span of only a few seconds. First of all, what the fuck was Kaminari doing…in a gym…in the morning…how in the world was he even awake?? The dumb idiot would sleep until lunch on the weekends unless he was physically dragged out of his bed and even then he was unable to function without downing an energy drink.

"Sparky, what–"

He didn't really know which confusion he wanted to voice first but in the end it didn't matter because Shitty hair finally decided to join them. He practically jogged into the room, holding three bottles of what were most likely his weird protein shakes and smiled at them both.

"Oh, good! You're here already," he said cheerfully and pushed a bottle into Bakugou's hands, somehow knowing he would join without him providing an actual answer. He then proceeded to put the other two shakes on a bench by the wall and started stretching his arms, looking down at Kaminari, who was still just lounging on the floor.

"Dude, is that Mina's crop top," he questioned with a laugh and Dunce face lazily got up to his feet. Now Bakugou also noticed the top he was wearing was resting above his belly button.

"And Sero yoga pants," Sparky exclaimed, causing Bakugou to scoff. It said something about the idiot if he didn't even own workout clothes. Dunce face picked up on it and huffed, turning to look at him. "What? Got something to say, Boom boy? You're the one who's half naked."

"What the fuck did you just call me, you dumfuck?!"

Shitty hair might have stifled a chuckle and covered it up with a cough but Bakugou decided to ignore it because he had a bigger and more annoying idiot in front of him to deal with.

"Oh, you heard me. You're not the only one who can come up with shitty nicknames, Blasty."

Bakugou was seeing red at the edges. He knew Pikachu was stupid but was he really so stupid to rile him up first thing in the morning? Did this bitch want to get out of this working out session by having Bakugou kill him or something?

"Okay, calm down," Shitty hair's soft but decisive voice reached them both. "Kami, start warming up. Pulling a muscle would be really unmanly." His face frowned for a bit before he turned to Bakugou and smiled again.

"And if you need, I could get you one of my tank tops," he offered, pulling at the white one he had on currently. Bakugou just rolled his eyes and started with his own stretches, feeling better showing off his bare back than potentially having to deal with smelling Shitty hair's scent that would no doubt come with the piece of clothing.

From then on out there was (thankfully) a lot less talking and a lot more sweating. Once they had all warmed themselves up, Shitty hair would briefly explain each exercise, mainly to Kaminari, who was clearly very new to the gym scene. From time to time Kirishima would comment on Sparky's form, telling him to correct it or even praise him when he got something right, never once stopping exercising while doing so.

The longer they were there, the more Dunce face started to whine and complain, his body shaking with effort. It was irritating to no end and Bakugou had to grit his teeth while listening to it but every time he glanced in Shitty hair's direction he would almost forget about Pikachu's existence.

The redhead's forehead was glistening with sweat but his face looked weirdly relaxed even as he pushed his body much more than Sparky or even Bakugou. Whenever Shitty hair caught his eyes on him, his lips pulled into a grin and every time Bakugou had to avert his gaze if only to stop his heart from beating faster than it already was.

Shitty hair's exercises were no joke and yeah they started out simple and easy enough but eventually they turned more heavy and complicated, to the point when Bakugou couldn't really blame Kaminari for whining anymore because he too had to let out more and more grunts while Kirishima kept going.

"I can't….I can't...anymore," Pikachu gasped out and collapsed down on his mat, breathing heavily, his hair as wet as if he just stepped out of a shower. He looked completely spent and Bakugou had to admit he lasted longer than he originally estimated.

"Drink some water," Shitty hair breathed out. "Stretch." He too was finally tiring a bit. "Then protein," he said, meaning the shakes he brought them all. Kaminari just gave him a weak thumbs up, continuing lying on the floor.

Bakugou, feeling his muscles straining, still didn't want to stop, silently competing with Shitty hair in strength and endurance. Dunce face was slowly catching his breath and managed to crawl to his protein shake, sipping it while his eyes jumped from Kirishima to Bakugou. If he had the energy to spare, he would tell him off but seeing as he didn't, he settled on a low growl.

With his jaw clenched and teeth painfully grinding together, he managed about five minutes more but then he had to force his mouth open to allow more oxygen into his lungs. Even with that he wasn't able to outlast Shitty hair.

"Fuck," he gasped and stopped, feeling a trickle of sweat running down his back toward the band of his shorts. Pikachu was apparently too worn out to comment and Bakugou almost thanked god for it because the muscles in his arms were burning too much to strangle him should he decide to say something incredibly stupid.

He grabbed his own protein shake and sat down, back leaning against a wall, far away from Sparky. With the back of his hand he wiped off the sweat from his forehead before gulping some of the shake down. It tasted awfully sweet but he didn't find it in himself to complain.

His eyes, much like Kaminari's, ended on Shitty hair, who moved to the bench to lift some weights. Bakugou was honestly impressed. He had no idea how the idiot was still able to fucking keep going. It went on for a while, both he and Dunce face just sitting there, staring at their muscle of a friend while his chest rose and fell, his face pulling in ways that made Bakugou think Kirishima was nearing his limit as well.

Before he finished though, the door swung open and in jumped Pinky, pulling seemingly floating clothes behind her. Right, the invisible bitch. An excited squeal filled the room and Mina laughed, looking from Dunce face to him and Shitty hair, who was far too into his lifting to acknowledge the pair.

"Is this the workout you mentioned, Kami," she questioned but didn't look at him again, her black eyes trailing up and down Shitty hair instead. "Watching Kiri sweat his ass off every morning? I'd gladly join this!"

The invisible girl must have leaned in closer to her, probably whispering something to her because Pinky snorted loudly and started nodding. "You're totally right, Toru. Just wait for the trip. It's gonna be heaven!"

Bakugou frowned at that. What the fuck did the trip have to do with this?

"It's gonna be torture, Mina," Pikachu whined like Bakugou didn't hear enough of it already. "So many good looking people," he sighed and closed his eyes.

"I thought you only cared 'bout a certain pur–"

"Shushhh," he rushed to silence her, probably not wanting Hagakure or whatever her name was to find out about his hopeless crush. From what Bakugou gathered, the invisible bitch was the biggest gossip not only in 1-A but among all of the first classes. Most of the rumours –that Bakugou didn't even remotely care for but Mina talked about them nonetheless– came from her and her infinite resources.

"Fine, fine," Pinky complied and faced Bakugou next. He was already scowling, whatever she had to say was probably pointless and of no interest to him. "Can you please check the group chat, Bakugou. We'd appreciate it if you could actually participate in the planning bit of the trip."

Now why in the hell would he do that?

"I shared a Google doc. Just look at it at least. We're going shopping Thursday after school and if you want anything you should put it on the list, alright?"

He was about to protest but Pinky raised a threatening finger up in the air. "No buts. Just imagine the chaos and drama if any of us forgot anything important. Say like, Kami forgets his eyeliner or Kiri realises he brought no hair gel or his weights to work out. I accidentally leave my curler here or Sero doesn't bring his Nintendo Switch. Or…"

"Okay, okay," he barked out, "I fucking get it." And he did. These idiots, his idiots were perfectly capable of forgetting to bring even their swimsuits to a training trip that took place on the beach. Or maybe they would leave their tent behind even though Aizawa warned them multiple times they were not staying in a hotel but camping instead. Something about bonding more or whatever…

And just like Pinky pointed out, he would have to bear their whining cranky asses if anything like that happened. He would definitely rather avoid that.

Mina, seemingly satisfied, left with Hagakure and Shitty hair stopped working out soon after. He wiped his face with the bottom of his tank top, inevitably revealing his toned stomach. Bakugou had seen him shirtless countless of times but he still got hot in the face which was annoying as fuck, seeing as he just cooled himself down a bit.

"Great job, guys," he said and grinned, putting his sharp teeth on display. "Kaminari, you're getting better every day." He sounded excited, happy about his friend's progress. Bakugou didn't even know when these two started visiting the gym together.

"Okay but…how good," Dunce face asked from the floor. "Are there any abs in sight? Will Shinsou be impressed with me at the beach? And be honest."

Oh, so this was the reason behind his newfound motivation to exercise? The creepy Insomniac, who was as of recently transferred to 1-B. A hero class that was also going on this beach training trip. This made a lot more sense now.

"You're so fucking dumb," Bakugou commented because really, if this idiot thought he could magically grow abs in a week or two before the trip, he was not only wrong, he was delusional.

Shitty hair crouched down beside him and put a sweaty palm on his shoulder. Bakugou nearly shivered but didn't flinch away from the touch which was really only possible with the redhead dumbass.

"What he's trying to say," Shitty hair began and glanced back at him for a split second, "is that you don't need abs to impress Shinsou. Man, you have so much more to offer, alright? Besides, I'm pretty sure he's already impressed," he added in the end and chuckled, squeezing Bakugou's shoulder for no apparent reason.

"You think?" It was like a light switched on in Pilachu's eyes and he stood up with new found strength. Shitty hair nodded and smiled at him, leaving no room for doubt. The redhead's smiles were always completely honest.

"Thanks, Kiri, you're the best," he exclaimed.

"Hey, anything for my best bro," he said and extended a fist which Dunce face eagerly bumped then turned on his heels, announcing he desperately needed a shower with which Bakugou agreed. He too could really use one but Shitty hair's hand was still on him and he kind of didn't want to move yet.

"Do you wanna spar with me tomorrow morning," he asked out of nowhere and Bakugou looked over to find his maroon eyes already on him.

"What about Sparky?" He's had more than enough of his whimpering from just one joint work out session.

Before answering, Shitty hair's gaze fell to the floor and he moved his hand away from Bakugou's shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's his day off so it'd just be you and I."

You and I. Those three words did something to his insides and he didn't hate the weird feeling sprouting in his stomach.

He rolled his shoulders back and grunted affirmatively. Shitty hair smiled like he told him the best news in the world but Bakugou was already thinking of how he was going to win this sparring match.

 

 

Spoiler alert, it didn't turn out the way he thought it would.

Because Bakugou lost.

He fucking lost.

Shitty hair had him pinned to the ground, holding his arms behind his back and no matter how many blasts he shot off, Kirishima wouldn't bulge. His mind was spinning. This wasn't the boy he fought at the sports festival and easily won against, this was a goddamn future hero, who was getting stronger and stronger by the day.

When he first met Shitty hair, he could barely harden his whole body but now he stayed in his unbreakable form for so long he managed to overpower Bakugou. It…it made his heart beat faster and a grin was pulling at his lips even as his face was smushed against the dirty ground. It didn't make sense. He was too amazed by Shitty hair's progress to be pissed that he was defeated by him.

"I fucking yield." The words felt weird on his tongue but he stopped struggling, waiting for Shitty hair to get off his back. The hands gripping his arms turned soft again as Shitty hair let go off his unbreakable. It took another few seconds before Bakugou felt the weight lift off of him and he managed to turn himself onto his back.

He looked up at Shitty hair, still grinning madly. "Damn, Kirishima, you're strong," he said and even to his damaged ears it sounded too soft. Shitty hair's eyes widened to the size of plates and his mouth fell open as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what.

The next thing he knew, muscular arms were pulling him up into a sitting position and wrapping around his body. His face ended in a mess of red hair and when Shitty hair spoke, his voice was directly next to his ears. "Thank you, Bakugou. Means a lot coming from you." Usually Shitty hair would talk loudly but this time the words were almost whispered.

There was that fluttering feeling inside of him again but this time it was ten times stronger. One of his arms acted on its own and sneaked behind Shitty hair, grabbing onto the fabric of his tank top, between his shoulder blades. It didn't take much before he got so warm all over his body that he felt like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to blow up.

He pushed Shitty hair away from him before he could combust. "Fuck off, you're gross." In fact, they were both pretty gross, dirt and sweat sticking to them. Kirishima just smiled at him brightly, knowing that Bakugou wasn't mad about the hug. He let it linger for too long to be able to claim he didn't like Shitty hair's arms around him.

After they got their assets in the showers and once they were both cleaned up, Bakugou found himself following Shitty hair to the common room. It was Sunday and he finished all of his school work for the week so he really had nothing better to do than to unwind on the couch. There weren't many people in there yet since most of them preferred to sleep in late on the weekend, which meant he and Kirishima were able to get their hands on the TV with no trouble at all.

Bakugou let Shitty hair put on whatever lousy movie he wanted and settled on the couch with his feet prompted up on the coffee table in front of it since Iida wasn't anywhere to tell him off for it. Kirishima sat down next to him, mimicking his position but instead of putting his arms behind his head, he left them in his lap to play with the remote controller.

The film started but Bakugou hardly even looked at the screen. He was much too focused on the way Shitty hair's fingers turned and tossed the remote in repeated movements, feeling almost entranced by it. It didn't seem to be a conscious thing because Kirishima was glued to the television, completely immersed in the action that was going on.

At one point Bakugou heard some shooting and shouting but even that wasn't enough to get him to watch it. As gruesome and thrilling as the movie might have been, his eyes were studying the empty space between him and Shitty hair intently.

What if I just…

No.

But he…

No.

There was an inner monologue going on inside of him, debating on whether he should do something about those twenty centimetres of space or not. He knew Kirishima didn't mind people in his personal space, that was more than evident from the fact that he, Mina, Sero and Kaminari were always cramped together, hugging, touching and doing all that weird shit that close friends did.

There were also all those times that Shitty hair invaded his space and for the most part Bakugou just let him. Because he actually had nothing against him being close but thinking about it, it was always Kirishima reaching out to him, sitting closer, throwing arms around his shoulders. Bakugou was never the one to initiate such contact before but he was starting to think that maybe he should. It's not like Shitty hair would push him away, right?

Just fucking do it, Bakugou!

He huffed, irritated by the contradicting thoughts in his mind and brought his legs to his chest. Kirishima glanced at him for a moment but said nothing and Bakugou turned a bit so he could shove his bare feet under Shitty hair's leg.

"My feet are fucking freezing," he gritted out as an explanation then crossed his arms, pointedly looking away from Kirishima and to the TV even though he had not been paying attention to it before.

Shitty hair laughed. He just…laughed and reached for a blanket nearby, throwing it over the both of them.

That went surprisingly well.

"I'll make sure to add fluffy socks to the list in Mina's Google doc."

Bakugou couldn't stop himself from looking at Kirishima. He was smiling softly and Bakugou wasn't sure whether that was meant as a joke or was he serious about bringing warm socks with him just in case Bakugou got cold.

"What even is this fucking shit," he asked out loud and grabbed his phone, finally making himself open the file he was sent.

*****BAKUSQUAD'S LIST OF NECESSITIES FOR THE SUPER ULTRA FUN TRIP NEXT WEEK*****

Even the headline alone almost gave him a headache but against his better judgement he kept on reading.

-tent
-another tent
-snacksssss
-pillows
-blankiesss
-cards
-swimming trunks
-bikinis ;)
-PHONE CHARGER
-beach ball
-suncream
-sunglasses
-A PAN!!!
-clothes?
-hair gel
-sleeping mats
-eyeliner
-KIRISHIMA EIJIROU <3
-Teddy bear *why do you need this, we already have Kiri ^
-comb
-sleeping mask
-earphones

The list went on and on for literal pages and Bakugou groaned at most of the stuff. Even when these idiots tried to organise themselves it still turned out so disorganised in the end. Some of the things on this list made absolutely zero sense and there were many essentials missing. Nobody wrote down a portable gas stove but somebody thought of bringing a pan. What would a pan do if you had nowhere to use it?

And what… "Why the fuck are you on this list," he asked and decided to ignore the little heart emoji somebody put next to his name.

Shitty hair chuckled and paused the movie in favor of answering him. "Yeah, Kami wrote that. Apparently he needs me for emotional support."

Bakugou rolled his eyes and mindlessly scrolled up and down through the Google doc. "He's an idiot."

"I think he's just worried about Shinsou," Kirishima explained and ran a hand through his red hair, which was down because he washed them. "Kami asked him if he wanted to share a tent with us and he agreed."

That was the first time Bakugou heard of it. It was a bold move, one he didn't necessarily expect Dunce face was capable of making.

"You're telling me Eyebags is gonna be with us?" He had no idea how to feel about that

"Youp!" Well, Shitty hair sure sounded excited. "A new member of the squad, I guess. He's a nice dude, I think he'll fit right in."

"Nice dude," Bakugou grumbled, repeating after him. "Are you sure you aren't the one with a crush on him?" He knew he sounded bitter but he didn't particularly care at that moment.

The effect of his words on Kirishima was instant and Bakugou watched as he blushed from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. Quickly, Shitty hair averted his gaze and began playing with the remote once again.

"I don't have a crush on Shinsou, Bakugou," he said quietly but clearly. He should have been calmed by that response, seeing as Shitty hair made it a rule to never lie to people. But his heart was hammering in his chest even after hearing that.

"But you do have a crush on someone," he concluded but it came out more as an accusation.

The hand that reached back to the base of Kirishima's neck was more than enough confirmation for him. He wouldn't have gotten embarrassed by that question if the idiot fancied nobody. So who the fuck was this extra that caught Shitty hair's big maroon eyes?

"Well, I –" he started, clearly not sure about what to say but then Sero fucking Hanta chose that exact moment to barge into the common room with a bowl of cereal and dropped down on the floor in front of the sofa.

"Morning, guys, what are we watching," he asked and took a big spoon into his mouth, crunching down on his food loudly, not knowing what kind of a conversation he just interrupted.

Kirishima cleared his throat to answer but Bakugou wasn't interested in the name of the action movie. He wanted the name of whoever had the potential of snatching Shitty hair away but it seemed like he was going to have to wait for that one.

Fuck.

Notes:

You know for someone as smart as Bakugou he can be quite oblivious to some things. But hey, at least he's slowly acknowledging his own feelings so that's good, right? Progress!