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Izuku pulls on the sleeve of his jacket, futilely trying to make it look more put together. It’s an old suit his father left behind and his mother passed on to him. Its style has always been clearly outdated but here the fact that this suit has left the shop over thirty years ago seems more on the nose. Everyone else is meticulously dressed, showing only their best forms.
Maybe if Izuku had actually wanted to be there, he’d have put more of an effort. Maybe even bought a new suit. But he didn’t want to come and ignored the approaching date as the calendar mocked his inaction. Now he has to face a mob of well-dressed, attractive men and women while looking like a clown.
The line at the entrance moves and Izuku is the next one to give his name to the event’s organizers. For a second, he thinks about just leaving. There’s absolutely nothing that can come from this night except awkward conversations and disappointment.
But it’s also disappointment that keeps him there. Just imagining the look on his mother’s face if he were to tell her he didn’t go to the event is enough to make sure Izuku stays in line. He could never let down the woman that raised him with such love and care.
One would think that at the tender age of 25 he’d be too young to go to matchmaking events. But Inko strongly disagrees. After graduating college without a serious girlfriend or boyfriend, Izuku was deemed a lost cause by his mother and she didn’t want to see her sweet son living his life alone like she had. So Inko talked to her friends, found a good match-making agency, and signed Izuku up for their next event. Izuku would just have to deal with it.
“Next!” the organizer calls and Izuku stumbles forward.
“H-Hi! I’m Izuku. Midoriya Izuku, that is,” he introduces himself awkwardly.
It seems like he won’t be able to talk like a normal person, not even with the organizers — what hope he has for the conversation with the prospect matches?
“Welcome, Izuku! It’s your first time, right? My colleague will explain to you how everything works! Have a good evening!” the woman says cheerfully, completely unbothered by Izuku’s anxiety, which rolls from him in waves.
Before he can say anything, another woman, just as cheerful, comes to fetch him.
“Hi, Izuku! Welcome! Thank you for coming! I’m sure you’re excited for your first night!” she says, pushing Izuku into the room.
“I- Ye-Yeah,” he agrees more out of politeness than anything else.
The room is a hotel’s ballroom, organized with several two-people tables scattered around, a bar where professional-looking bartenders were pushing out martinis, and a low light to set the mood. Izuku looks around, trying to situate where the bathroom and all the doors were — just in case a quick exit was needed.
“This is great! You’ll have so much fun!” she promises and Izuku needs to bite back the protest that forms in his tongue. “So, for the first-timers, we usually set you up with someone we think you’ll have a lot in common with. Don’t worry if you don’t feel any spark yet, it’s totally common! Later, if this first-person doesn’t work out, we can see if you prefer to be set-up again or if you prefer to be free to mingle. But I do have high hopes for this match! You two really have tons in common! You both work in journalism and you both cited All Might comics as a hobby in your profile!”
That information gets Izuku a tiny bit less freaked out. Journalism and All Might? These are the most important things in his life! If this match really is interested in those, maybe this has a chance of working out. Maybe these people really know what they’re doing. Well, they probably do. They’re professionals, after all. Izuku feels a bit guilty of doubting them so much before.
The woman guides Izuku through the room, commenting “Your match is already here! Let me take you to him!”
The place isn’t very crowded yet so, when she takes a turn to a more secluded area, Izuku sees there’s only one table occupied there. And instantly, all his doubts and insecurities come back with a vengeance.
There’s no way that man is his match.
Actually, there’s no way that man is in a matchmaking event at all!
He’s the most perfect specimen of men that Izuku has ever laid eyes on. Even seated, Izuku can tell he’s tall, broad-chested, athletic, impeccably dressed in a pristine black suit, razor-sharp jaw, stylish blond hair, and, overall, looks like a sex dream. Sure, he also looks a bit older than Izuku, around 40 years old or something, but really, that only adds to his charm (and Izuku always had a thing for older men).
“There he is!” she says, approaching the man who looks at her with a bored expression. “Mr. Bakugou, this is Midoriya Izuku. Mr. Midoriya, this is Bakugou Katsuki. As I said, you two have tons in common! Now, go ahead and enjoy your evening!”
And with that, she’s gone, leaving Izuku under the not-impressed eyes of Mr. Bakugou.
“G-g-good e-evening,” Izuku stutters.
Bakugou looks him up and down before indicating the seat in front of him for Izuku.
“First time, hm,” he says. “For the next events, I recommend dressing up like a fucking adult. The rented-clothes look isn’t working for you”
“I- I own these,” Izuku defends himself.
“Do you?” Mr. Bakugou raises an eyebrow in challenge. “My condolences.”
Frustrated, Izuku frowns and inquires, “Do you need to be so rude?”
“Actually, yeah,” Bakugou answers with unexpected sincerity. “If I’m not, people may mistake me as some idiot who actually wants to be here.”
“Well, you aren’t the only one who is here against their will and I’m not being an ass about it,” Izuku retorts angrily.
That makes Bakugou chuckle. “So you do have some fire in you… Underneath all that damn stuttering.”
Izuku looks away embarrassed and mumbles, “I was just a little nervous.”
“Why be nervous if you don’t want to be here?”
“I also don’t want to make a fool of myself,” Izuku shrugs. “And my mom has really high hopes for this event. I don’t want to let her down either.”
“So you don’t want to be here but also want to make a good impression? With that suit, I’d never guess it,” Bakugou says playfully.
The teasing is light-hearted and helps Izuku remember the reasons why the organizers thought he and Bakugou would hit it off.
“I don’t want people to like me just for my suit-”
“They won’t,” Bakugou interrupts him, but Izuku continues, unbothered.
“I want to find someone with who I have a connection. Like, for example, the lady said you work in journalism as I do!” Izuku offers a tentative smile. “What do you work with?”
“I’m the chief editor at Dynamight.”
Izuku’s mouth goes slack in surprise. “Dynamight? That huge fashion magazine?” he asks in complete disbelief.
“The one and only,” Bakugou answers smugly. “Given your surprise and your suit, I take it you don’t work with the fashion editorials.”
Suddenly, Izuku realizes how completely out-classed he is. The man in front of him is probably a legend — the only reason Izuku hasn’t heard of him is that he really doesn’t care about fashion. But Dynamight is the biggest fashion magazine in the country, probably the biggest in all of Asia. No wonder Bakugou’s suit looks so perfect.
“I- I graduated last year in investigative journalism…” Izuku confesses in a small voice. “I’ve been selling some freelance articles for comics and gaming websites…”
“So on your way to be a professional nerd, hm,” Bakugou says politely, not mentioning the huge gap in their professional lives.
“Yeah,” Izuku chuckles, self-consciously rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, I’d love to do some actual investigative work… But no one will hire a fresh graduate to do that. For now, the geek stuff pays the bills.”
“That’s fair. If you ever decide to write about fashion, I might take a look.”
Rolling his eyes with humor, Izuku says “You and I both know I know absolutely nothing about fashion.”
Bakugou smirks, “Your fucking words.”
“Though I’m not gonna lie, if you have any friends in entertainment or news, I’d love a recommendation,” Izuku confesses, then remembers of asking something that’s been nagging in the back of his mind. “But what someone like you is even doing here, anyway?”
“Someone like me?” Bakugou raises an eyebrow.
“You know… Handsome, successful… I wouldn’t imagine you’d need to come to an event like this to find a date.”
“I wouldn’t,” Bakugou answers truthfully. “If I wanted a date, that is. The problem being that I don’t want one and my mother is going crazy with this. The damn hag nags me day and night to find someone and she’s the one who keeps putting my name in these events’ lists.”
“I guess moms can be like that no matter your age, hm…”
“It gets worse the older you get. That’s why I come. All I have to do is show up, have a couple of drinks, talk to some sucker until they realize I’m an asshole, and go home. Then he old hag gives me a break from her torment.”
“So you’ve been doing this for long?”
Bakugou nods. “The organizers even decided to take advantage of me. They always put the newcomers on my table so I can terrorize them into accepting whatever second-choice is thrown their way.”
“Oh…” Izuku exclaims, surprised. So that’s why he’s been matched to Bakugou. It makes way more sense than anyone thinking someone as perfect as he would look Izuku’s way twice. “So… The whole All Might thing was just an excuse…” he whispers dejected.
“I actually do like All Might. His comics have a lot of design sensibility and an engaging plot. But if you truly want to fulfill your mother’s desires and find someone in these events, I’ll bid you better luck next time.”
“That’s fair,” Izuku nods. “And you’re right, there’s an incredible eye for design in the way All Might’s panels are created!”
Of course Bakugou would never be interested in Izuku. Nonetheless, they’re stuck together for that evening, so they might as well do the most out of it. They end up talking excitedly about design and illustration, and how they impact the story-telling in comics. It’s the most compelling conversation Izuku had in years and he leaves the event feeling better about returning to another one in a fortnight.
***
In complete opposite of the first time, Izuku’s second event is an absolute nightmare. He’s matched with a man named Monoma — and Izuku hates every second of it.
Monoma is self-centered, self-absorbed, and self-righteous. Never before Izuku felt the urge to punch someone after a 5 minute conversation, but here he was counting the reasons why he couldn’t: it’d disrupt the event for other people, the organizers may call the security, he’d be banned from future events, his mother would be disappointed...
“But then again, I suppose that someone has to write those little children magazines about comic books. What I can’t understand is why a grown person would waste their time with such a low-quality form of entertainment and-”
“I’m gonna go grab a drink,” Izuku rudely interrupts Monoma before his fist rudely meets the guy’s monologue.
With annoyance running through his veins, Izuku approaches the bar and asks for a pina colada. It’s the drink that takes the longest to make that he knows of, and every second he gets to be away from Monoma sounds good at the moment.
His frustrated sigh is interrupted by a familiar voice ordering their own drink.
“Whisky on the rocks, please,” Bakugou grumbles to the bartender and, before Izuku manages to raise his head, the voice turns to him. “Rough night already?”
“You have no idea…” Izuku whines.
“I do, actually. Saw you with Monoma. No wonder you need a fucking drink.”
“How can that guy be so damn annoying?”
“Don’t know,” Bakugou shrugs. “But I think the organizers pegged you for an ‘asshole blonds’ type of guy after you stayed so long at my table yesterday.”
“You’re nothing like him,” Izuku sighs.
“Thank fucking God for that,” Bakugou says, raising the drink he was just served in a cheer.
Izuku’s drink isn’t far behind. The other bartender brings him the beautifully prepared cocktail, decked out with a piece of pineapple and little umbrella.
“Thank you.”
“Really? That’s your idea of liquid courage?” Bakugou mocks.
Izuku tastes a sip and answers unbothered, “It’s delicious. I’m very pleased with my choice, Mr. I Drink Whisky to Show I’m Manly.”
Bakugou laughs loudly at his jab. “Shit, I know someone who would actually say drinking a pina colada is manly. But then again, he thinks everything is manly, the damn idiot… In any case, it’s interesting how your generation really doesn’t care about drinking proper booze.”
“My generation?” Izuku parrots mockingly. “Alright, grandpa, but people my age drink whisky as well. I just wanted any excuse to spend more time away from Monoma.”
“You know you can just… not talk to him right? You can simply go around the room and find some other extra to talk to.”
“That seems rude,” Izuku frowns.
“Not any more rude than he’s being, I’m damn sure.”
“Well… Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” he acquiesces and turns to look around the room. “There must be someone else I can get to know tonight.”
“Good luck with that. I need to go back to terrorize tonight’s newcomer,” Bakugou says without much emotion.
“Have a good evening, Mr. Bakugou!”
“You too. And that’s a better suit for you, Deku,” Bakugou says, already leaving the bar.
“Deku?” Izuku whispers to himself. Why did Bakugou call him Deku? Well, whatever. Good of Bakugou for commenting on Izuku’s new suit — a deep blue two-piece straight off the rack from some department store. In any case, Izuku has other things to worry about, like finding someone to talk to and keeping as far away from Monoma as possible.
***
The third event wasn’t so bad, but that’s not to say it was good. He was first matched with a botanical woman who didn’t seem to be able to talk about anything that wasn’t her culture of mushrooms. After saying goodbye to her in the most polite way he could, he ended up bumping into a guy that seemed to try and blend in the shadows, wearing black from top to bottom.
The conversation with the shadow guy didn’t last long and, as Izuku took a look around the room, he saw a guy who thought it was a great idea to bring his pet crow for the event. That was his cue to go grab a drink.
At the bar, Bakugou is already nursing a glass of whisky.
“Good evening,” Izuku greets as he approaches.
“Better luck this time?” Bakugou asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Marginally,” Izuku shrugs, then turns to the bartender. “A martini, please.”
“No umbrella this time?” he asks, referencing Izuku’s tropical drink from two weeks ago.
“I’m feeling fancy,” Izuku says smiling. “I even got a new tie this time!”
After buying the suit for the last time, Izuku has been slowly fixing his wardrobe for these events. His mother got him a new, light yellow shirt and he decided to buy a bright golden tie to go with it. Personally, he thinks the mixture of the yellow and the blue from his suit makes him look a bit like All Might — which gives him an extra boost of courage for the events.
Bakugou doesn’t seem to agree with him on how good an idea that is.
“You look like Ukraine’s flag,” he simply says.
Izuku rolls his eyes, “Not all of us can be fashion experts. And I may not be catwalk material, but I look good enough for this place.”
“No, I suppose you can’t. And you’re right, no one here can dress themselves worth a damn.”
“Is that why you never pick anyone?” Izuku asks.
“No. I don’t pick anyone because this place is filled with useless extras.”
The bored way Bakugou says it, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, makes Izuku laugh loudly.
“They can’t all be that bad,” he argues when he gets his breathing under control.
“You’re gonna tell me that after talking to Mushroom Girl there?”
“Oh, you saw that? Well… I mean, I suppose the crow guy has an interesting story to share?”
“It’s his emotional support pet,” Bakugou explains. “I had to ask when he was put on my table. The story is way less exciting than it looks.”
“Anyway, they can’t all be bad.”
“Wrong. I’ve talked to them. They’re not bad, they’re the fucking worst.”
“What about the pink-haired girl?” Izuku asks, pointing with his head to the woman across the room.
“Crazy scientist kind of chick. She’s here just to find a sugar daddy to support the deranged ideas that she calls ‘top engineering work’ but that are just fire hazards.”
“And the one with the green dreads?” Izuku points to some other woman.
“Religious fanatic.”
“The silver-haired one with weird glasses?”
“Fitness obsessed. All he can talk about is pumping iron.”
With a sigh, Izuku takes a sip of his drink before speaking again. “You’re really making it really hard for me to pick who I’ll talk to next.”
“Sorry about showing you the fucking truth,” Bakugou shrugs. “But who knows, maybe you’ll actually like one of these losers.”
“You realize that if we’re in the same place as a bunch of losers, we’re losers ourselves, right?”
“I’m not a loser,” Bakugou retorts calmly. “I’m just an asshole… You, however, thought you could be sneaky and dress like All Might to a matchmaking event. So I guess there’s no saving you, Deku.”
“Hey, what’s up with that? My name is Izuku, not Deku.”
“You sure look like a Deku to me,” Bakugou says, already walking back to his table.
Instead of thinking of a rebuttal, he gets too caught up in the fact that Bakugou caught his veiled All Might reference and feels something warm and fuzzy settle inside his belly.
***
By the fourth event, the jitters of going to them had completely passed. Izuku came to accept that the people in these events were just as lost and desperate as he was — and maybe that’s the whole point of these things anyway.
He also came to accept he has a crush on Bakugou. How could he not, anyway? Bakugou was right when he said he’s the only one in these events that isn’t a loser. On the contrary, he’s as successful and amazing as they come. And he obviously sees these events more as a social experiment or a way to laugh at losers than a way to find a partner.
However, Bakugou’s social experiment also clearly works. He knows everything there’s to know about everyone. So, if Izuku wants to find a good match and stop coming to these events, he knows what he has to do.
Izuku doesn’t even waste time talking to random people this evening. He finds a spot by the bar, orders a long island iced tea, because he’ll need some stronger liquid courage for his plan to work, and waits until Bakugou shows up.
Luckily, it doesn’t take long.
“Whisky on the rocks, please,” Bakugou asks the bartender as soon as he approaches the bar, then turns to Izuku. “Already given up on the night?”
“No, not really,” Izuku answers. “I’m not going to go up and talk to random people tonight.”
“You’re going to wait for people to talk to you? Bold move. And stupid. Only the creepers make the first move.”
“Hey, I was making the first moves so far!” Izuku protests, but Bakugou just shrugs. “Whatever,” he sighs. “Listen to me. I have a plan.”
Bakugou raises an eyebrow skeptically.
“It’s a good plan!”
“Please, do tell,” Bakugou says in a mocking voice.
“You’re going to help me find a match,” Izuku says with a certainty he’s far from feeling.
“And why the hell would I do that?”
“I don’t know. Show off how good you are at judging people? Fight the boredom?”
“I’m not bored,” Bakugou protests.
“Yes, you are. Why else would you even be here? I’m sure you could find other ways to get your mother off your case,” Izuku accuses.
For a second, it looks like Bakugou will retort, but he sighs and acquiesces. “Fine. What do you want from me?”
“What about we follow last time’s cue? I point to some people around the room and you tell me what you think about them.”
“Alright.”
“The redhead?”
“Too dominating for you. And she has an unresolved thing with a former classmate from high school.”
“The one with the purple hair?”
“Have you seen those black eyes? He has terrible insomnia. With your penchant of staying awake to watch All Might movies, you two would never get an ounce of sleep ever again.”
“The tall one with the white hair?”
“She’s a dominatrix,” Bakugou shrugs. “If you’re into this sort of thing…”
“Not really,” Izuku sighs. “I feel like this won’t go anywhere like this…”
“You don’t say, Deku,” he says with a hint of irony.
“Why do you call me Deku anyway?”
“Don’t this plan make it clear why?”
“I’m not useless!” Izuku protests, to which Bakugou just chuckles. “You know what? I think you deserve a nickname as well.”
“Oh, do you?” Bakugou says, bored.
“Yes,” Izuku asserts. “A nickname that shows you’re not as intimidating as you think you are.”
“I’m plenty fucking intimidating,” Bakugou squints at him.
“No, you’re not… Kacchan,” Izuku smirks triumphantly for having found a silly nickname for the man.
Bakugou just rolls his eyes dramatically and sighs. “You really are a Deku. No wonder you only pick the worst of the worst here.”
“Why don’t you tell me who you think I should date?” Izuku challenges. “I feel you know more than the organizers of this event.”
“I don’t like doing other people’s jobs for them,” Bakugou grunts.
“But you do like being right,” Izuku taunts.
Luckily, Bakugou bites the bait. “Alright. A Deku like you needs someone smart, someone who shares your interests…” he says slowly as if he’s thinking deeply about what to say. “Someone who can tell you how to dress because this is clearly a disaster,” he points to Izuku’s clothes with his head.
“Hey! What’s wrong with this?! You said to wear a shirt in a color that didn’t clash with the blue suit!” he protests.
“But I didn’t think you’d put on a goddamn blue plaid shirt underneath!” Bakugou barks back. “Anyway, someone who isn’t a useless extra or a stupid loser.”
“And who here fits that description?” Izuku asks, a crazy idea forming on the back of his mind.
“No one,” he answers definitively. “No one here fits any of that criteria.”
“That’s not true. I can think of one person who fits every one of these points,” he says, feeling a bit playful — and a whole lot embarrassed, but Izuku will keep that under wraps.
Bakugou clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “No, there isn’t.”
“You. You’re smart, share my interests, can tell me how to dress and you’re the complete opposite of a loser.”
Bakugou chuckles without humor, “I’m also twice your age.”
“And super hot,” Izuku retorts unbothered, making Bakugou choke on his own saliva.
“You damn Deku…” he says threateningly.
“I think you’re my match, Kacchan,” Izuku says with confidence, taking one step closer to Bakugou.
The man has humored Izuku’s conversations for weeks when Izuku knows for a fact most people that end on his table leave crying and/or yelling. Everyone Izuku has talked to in these events has said how Bakugou is unbearable, rude and aggressive. And yet, when it comes to Izuku, Bakugou gives him a cutesy nickname and spends hours talking to him.
Izuku has been thinking about this the whole week and this was his whole plan — try to corner Bakugou in confirming that the interest is mutual between them.
And it seems that he nailed it.
Bakugou smirks at him, “Don’t you think you’re too full of yourself, Deku?”
“Maybe,” Izuku agrees truthfully. “But I also think you want to get off this place and take me to a real date, Kacchan.”
“Alright, Deku. Let’s get the fuck out of here, then,” Bakugou says, offering his arm to Izuku who happily takes it.
Who would know? Those organizers actually know what they’re doing, they did find Izuku’s perfect match on the first try.