Chapter Text
epilogue: begin again
august
Things between her and Jughead were going smoothly but slow. They agreed on not having sex and only shared a few kisses ever since, both agreeing if they wanted to make things right they were going to take things as slow as possible, and wait until they both feel it’s the right time to get intimate again. Although they spend a lot of time together, working at school at the blue and gold, and then investigating or just spending time together at the bunker when he wasn’t working or writing.
But then, a tragedy happened.
Things happened so quickly that she couldn’t even process them. It felt like everything around her was moving but she couldn’t, she was frozen, numb.
Polly Cooper was found dead two months after her disappearance.
She had a bad feeling that morning when they found her like something bad was happening.
The night before she and Jughead had a pretty intense argument about Polly’s investigation, when he suggested she should take a break after the FBI denied her access to her sister’s case files, again.
Now she feels like she can’t breathe, that she could have done so much more, and this was all her fault. Besides the guilt she felt for not talking to her sister in years and that the last time they talk it was a fight where they exchanged hurtful words they didn’t mean.
Alice was a nervous wreck, she really thought her mom was going to die in the coroner’s office. The twins were processing it just like the rest of the family that their mother wasn’t coming back, and not only they were going to grow up without a father but also without a mother as well.
For five days she stayed at home with her mother, taking care of her and trying to keep the twins busy with the help of Cheryl and Toni.
Her mom acted distant towards her, she even called her Polly once, and when Betty tried to correct her she just snapped at her and told her that everything that happened was her fault, for leaving home and not coming back for so long.
Betty was filled with guilt. But she couldn’t cry.
During August she lived emotionally and physically exhausted, her nightmares became more frequent and the desire to know what happened and who killed her sister got into her.
A week after they found Polly, Betty got into the investigation, her sister was the latest victim of the Highway Killer and Betty was determined that it was going to be his last. But it wasn’t that easy and she was willing to put herself in risky situations that would lead her nowhere.
That’s how Jughead found her one night, dressed as a hooker on the Lonely Highway, that’s when she finally hit rock bottom and finally collapsed crying on his chest, blaming herself for her sister’s death.
“It’s my fault Juggie, my darkness. We had a fight when she left. I’m my father’s daughter after all”
Ever since that night he never left her side, they spend countless nights investigating and going all over the files and evidence they had.
The case was solved by the end of the month, he tried to help, and even if it was against the rules they collected a fair amount of leads and evidence and gave it to the FBI.
Afterward, the FBI gave her a last warning. If she disobeyed the rules again she would get fired. Also, she had to talk to a therapist to clear her for work if she wanted to return to fieldwork.
Betty and Alice were recovering, and after a long talk, they promised to take care of each other to heal.
september
After Polly’s death things got complicated, Betty was so worried about her mom that she wasn’t focusing on herself and her own grief, and they barely saw each other. Although he understood she needed her own time and space, he was worried about her. So, when Jughead suggested spending the weekend away from her house, her mom, and all the memories she refused at first but ended up agreeing.
What she didn’t expect was a whole road trip to Quantico, to go get Toffee.
She felt guilty for leaving Alice at home, but after a long conversation with Jughead, he convinced her that she needed to get away to clear her head. Also, Tabitha and Archie with Uncle Frank offered to check on her.
They made a few stops on the way, to get dinner, and Betty asked to stop by the river that was close to the FBI Academy where she used to go to clear her mind. She got out of the car and sat at a rock nearby, he was staring at her from the car when she broke down.
He got out of the car after a few minutes, even if his initial plan was to give her space, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms. So he did, he held her in silence.
She was wrapped around him with her head against his chest when she told him.
“Thank you for being here with me Juggie”
He just kissed her head. Words weren’t necessary that was enough to let her know he felt the same or even more.
...
Thankfully they didn’t run into Glenn when she went by her neighbors to get Toffee.
The fluffy cat was glad to see her owner, but not so glad of her companion that she almost scratches his face the moment he tried to hold her.
Then they went by her apartment, to get some stuff and honestly the whole place looked depressing, but he wasn’t going to mention that.
She offered him to stay the night there, and when he suggested sleeping on the sofa she asked him to sleep with her.
He held her close that night and an extra warmer laid by their feet, the cat. It was the most peaceful sleep they had in months if not years.
Toffee was a little bit hesitant to let Jughead hold her or touch her at first, but while Betty drove the station wagon back to Riverdale he let her sleep on his lap and she started to like him.
Their road trip brought them closer to each other and made them realize that they really wanted to get better and do things right.
So the first thing that she did after returning home was book her first therapy appointment. Supported by the FBI they offered her a semi discharge, and the opportunity to work on desk cases in Riverdale until further notice. Even if she wasn’t thrilled about it, she needed the job, not just for the money but also as a distraction, none of the cases she had to look at had serial killers, as her therapist requested.
The second thing she did was buy another toothbrush to add beside hers in her bathroom, leave an empty drawer, and hang a striped robe beside her pink one in the rack that was on the left side of her bed.
Ever since their road trip, Jughead sleeps peacefully beside her or most likely wrapped around her.
And while there isn’t a lot of extra space, there’s always a spot for their feet warmer, Toffee.
october
Betty’s therapy sessions we’re making huge progress on her. Her nightmares were being less frequent and now she was able to talk about some of the most stressful moments in her life to grow past them. So when her therapist asked about her love life she just froze. She wasn’t expecting to touch that topic anytime soon.
“I’m not in a relationship at the moment, I think” she didn’t know how to explain this new dynamic between Jughead and her, but it was clear that they were trying to get back together.
“You think?” Dr. Hudson asked, she seemed nice and respectful, which allowed Betty to open up to her.
“Well, I hurt the only guy who’s ever loved me”
“How’s that?”
“We dated during high school, he was by my side at some of the worst moments of my life, and I just cheated on him with his best friend, I’m an awful person” she tried to not cry at this point.
“You know that’s not true Betty, everybody makes mistakes, what happened afterward?”
“We broke up, went to separate colleges and moved to different cities, we texted and called each other for a while until the night I got abducted; I couldn’t commit to somebody else after him”
“What happened?”
“He got drunk and sent me an awful voicemail, I deserved that,” she admitted
“You know when I told him I cheated on him he made love to me right after and even said he loved me like a hundred times until we both cried... He could’ve said all those things he said later in that voicemail but he didn’t, I don’t know... maybe because I was already punishing myself, because I knew that I had lost him”
“Have you tried to be with somebody else after him?”
“No seriously, I just tried to fill the void, I thought sex was going to make me miss him less, but afterward I was left alone in my bed, feeling numb, I joined the fucking FBI, thought I the adrenaline of my reckless decisions was going to take me somewhere, but here I am”
“What about now?”
“He came back to town, we tried to be friends, and ended in bed, we didn’t talk about it for weeks, like we were fine just having sex until we couldn’t take it anymore”
“How do you feel about it?”
“I was so scared to talk to him at first, but once we did, it was like those seven years didn’t happen. He even confessed he still has feelings for me, but I still feel don’t deserve him, that he should move on and leave me for someone better.
“You repeated it several times, that you’re an awful person, that you don’t deserve to be loved, that you don’t deserve the people who care about you” Dr. Hudson stopped writing in her notebook and finally stopped asking questions, “what I see is that you need to turn the page, all those things you’ve mentioned are in the past, you have to forgive yourself Betty, and understand you’re human and no one is expecting you to be perfect.”
“Actually, we are trying to make it work now, we are not together officially, we haven’t even had sex again yet, but he’s been with me during these hard months when everything went down in my family,” Betty said hopeful.
“Then let him in, and allow yourself to be loved, you deserve happiness”
...
She recalled her last session a couple of days later, things between Jughead and her kept progressing and that particular night after his afternoon shift at Pop’s he brought her dinner and snuggled on the couch with her after. When he thought she fell asleep he kissed her forehead and
whispered “I love you”
He didn’t know she was listening.
Her chest felt heavy.
She promised herself she was going to say it back someday… soon.
november
She was familiar with his sudden writer's block periods, but adult Jughead it’s not the same as teen Jughead, he had a deadline coming soon and a book to finish, this wasn’t some high school assignment.
The bunker had become his office during these last few months, a place that was filled with memories, some good some bad, but a place where he could focus.
“Hey, Jug, you okay?” Betty arrived at the bunker with two milkshakes and three burgers from Pop’s, one for her, two for him.
“You are a lifesaver, Betts,” he said before sharing a small peck.
“Any progress?” she asked as she prepared the table.
“Just one page that I don’t like, but at the editing process I will look at it again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, everything was going fine”
“I think you should take a break, eat, maybe take a nap and then try again,” she said as she take a seat beside him on the table.
“Will you stay with me?”
“Yeah” she pecked his lips again.
He was trying to write without falling into his old habits, without drugs, without alcohol and although he had done huge progress, it didn’t last long and his writer's block was back and he was starting to think that maybe he wasn’t a great writer after all if he needed drugs and alcohol to write a full book.
After eating they lay on the bed, his head on her chest while she played with his hair.
“What if I’m not good enough and that’s why I can’t write?” he asked after minutes of silence
“I’m not going to accept that, I’ve read your book, I’ve read all those articles you wrote at school and even those independent articles at magazines you did after college, you are amazing Juggie” her fingers were still caressing his hair.
“Then why I can’t write? Maybe I was good because I was high on drugs or alcohol”
“I think you are under a lot of pressure, Sam has been pressuring you, and I know you need the money, and that deadline is coming soon, but you really need to relax and believe in yourself and your words, you got this,” she said before leaning to kiss him.
“Do you trust me?” she asked when she pulled off from the kiss, he nodded, that was enough for her to straddle his lap and kiss him again more passionately.
The kiss turned into a make-out session pretty quickly, and a few moments later she was straddling his lap grinding against him, his mouth was on her neck and chest. Their breathing and moans filled the room.
Things between them had gotten pretty intense during these last couple of weeks, their kisses turned into make-out sessions quickly, and they had been teasing each other frequently during the days and nights he stayed over at her house, but they never got any further.
That day things were different, clothes were quickly out of the way, their hands were everywhere as if they couldn’t get enough from each other, they were getting high on each other, each kiss was fire.
It was like a mutual agreement they both wanted it, and even if that place was filled with memories, some good and some bad, it felt right.
Afterward, tired from their climax, they couldn’t stop staring at each other and laugh, eyes filled with love and serotonin.
“What a way to relax, Betts,” he said as his fingers unraveled her sex hair, she giggled, “Are you okay with what we just did?” Even if it felt amazing he couldn’t stop worrying about it if she enjoyed herself, if it didn’t feel rushed...
“That, was... wow, amazing”’ she kissed him again, “I’m so glad we waited to do this again,” she said before laying her head on his bare chest again.
What happened next wasn’t planned at all, she couldn’t stop the words from going out of her mouth, and she just said it.
“I love you.”
She didn’t have time to freak out that he interrupted her thoughts and said.
“I love you, Betty,” he said without any doubts.
Their hearts were beating so hard, it felt like they were going to explode. But it felt so good. It was worth it.
...
When Betty arrived at home after picking up the twins from Cheryl’s, Alice noticed
something was changing in her.
Later after dinner, when the twins were asleep, they were sitting on the couch drinking tea when she asked.
“What’s going on with you lately, Honey?”
“I’m fine mom, just trying to cope with everything”
“I know, that’s what she would’ve wanted, we have to, for the twins” she put her head on her mom’s shoulder.
“Yeah, they need us right now”
“But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about” then Betty clicked, and changed her position facing her on the opposite side of the couch.
“Oh... what is it then?”
“Well you look refreshed, glowing, and I know there’s a not so mystery guest who spends the nights frequently”
“Oh... about that, well...” she didn’t know how to explain it, “we are taking it slow, we just support each other, we spend time together, he’s been with me this whole time helping me with Polly’s case, or just being there for me. We made some mistakes in the past, now we are growing out of them... to try again.” She admitted.
Alice was about to speak when Jughead got into the house, she didn’t know he had a key.
“Hey Betts, I brought you a milkshake...” he wasn’t looking just walked straight to the couch when he saw Alice, “oh, hi Alice! Didn’t see you there!”
“It’s nice to see you Jughead,” she said, as he got closer to the couch, leaned over, and pecked Betty on the lips. Alice just couldn’t help but smile at them.
“I’ve got good news...I’ve just sent my agent the final manuscript of my new novel, so it’s safe to say that, finally, my second book it’s on the way!”
“Oh my god!” Betty jumped from the couch straight into his arms to hug him, “I’m so proud of you, Juggie!” and their lips met again.
december
During the first days of the month Betty was hit with a realization, she’d never told anyone else besides Jughead, about TBK. This realization came with the visit of the head of the investigation department of the FBI who was greeted by her mom because she wasn’t at home.
He said he couldn’t share much but he needed to talk to Betty to discuss her indemnification, apparently, she was heavily damaged during an undercover operation two years ago, and now after her therapist's latest report, they were ready to give her an offer.
Alice had no clue and wanted to know what that was all about. So when Betty arrived home she didn’t expect an interrogation from her mom like the ones she used to have when she was eighteen.
“Hi mom, how was your morning?”
“Elizabeth, just in time, I wanted to talk to you”
“What happened?”
“The head of the department of the FBI, came looking for you” Betty just froze.
“What did he want?” She was struggling with words.
“They want to talk to you about an indemnification, they said you were severally damaged during an undercover operation, why you didn’t tell me about it? What happened?” She didn’t see that coming, the moment her mom mentioned it she just couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“No one knows about it, it’s something I’ve been working on therapy, I’ve only told Jughead a while ago, we were watching a movie and I fell asleep and I had a nightmare and he wanted to comfort me and that’s when I told him, I’m sorry mom” she burst into tears on her mother’s arms.
She told her everything from the beginning since the moment she started to work on the case, the night of the abduction, the day she woke up at the hospital after being rescued, and Jughead’s voicemail. And while all those memories were really painful, she felt like she was taking the weight off her shoulders and finally moving on.
…
By the time Christmas arrived in Riverdale big changes were happening in Betty’s life. With the money she got from the FBI she decided to rent an apartment and move by herself after her therapist suggested, as much as she loved her mom, and there were some nice memories, that house holds some of the most painful moments of her life.
…
One afternoon, while she was packing her stuff, Jughead came into her room from the window, using the same ladder he used ten years ago.
“Hey there Juliet, nurse off duty?” he jokingly said, reminiscing that moment.
“You know the best thing ever happened in this room, at this house were you getting in from that window that afternoon?” she said, helping him to get in.
“I’m so glad I did it,” he said leaning to kiss her.
“Yeah, me too...”
…
When they exchanged gifts that Christmas he got her the final draft of The Outcasts that included more details about their story that were edited in the final revision and inside there was a beautiful gold necklace with their initials on; even Toffee got a gift from Jughead, a blue and gold cat bed for Betty’s new apartment.
He was surprised by her gift. He’d told her to not get him anything due she had to pay rent and buy new stuff for her new place, but she didn’t listen.
When he opened it, he saw the copy of the Outcasts he had sent her two years ago, he was confused at first but then he saw it, inside the book, there was a set of keys. The keys to her place, his keys to her place.
“You can move in if you want to… or not… whenever you are ready”
“Betty… are you sure?”
“We can take it slow if you want, but I don’t want to waste any more time without you, Jug”
They spend the New Year’s Day cuddling in the bed of her apartment, getting warm by the heat of their naked bodies pressed against each other, with Toffee at their feet
“Happy new year, my love”, he whispered to her after coming for the last time while making love, their foreheads were touching.
A few of his belongings have al already filled her place. He has his own space in the closet, and his own toothbrush, shampoo, and body wash are in the bathroom.
Finally, they were happy.
january
With Polly’s trial around the corner Betty’s anxiety was getting pretty intense. She had several nightmares and sleepless nights thankfully Jughead was by her side most of the time.
The fact they had to testify at court due to their involvement in the investigation, wasn’t helping at all.
Two weeks after the date of the trial was announced Betty had an unexpected discovery.
She had been feeling sick for three days in a row, something unlikely for Betty Cooper. A constant nauseous feeling during the morning or after certain smells. After the third day, her suspicions began when she saw an unopened tampons box and froze. Her phone calendar would confirm that in fact, she was more than five days late.
This can’t be possible. She can’t be pregnant right? She was panicking. She was on birth control, how did this happen?
This was definitely not the plan, they didn’t live together permanently, he had his own keys, and a drawer at hers but sometimes he stayed at his place in the garage at Archie’s. It was difficult for them to keep it in that way but they both agreed they if they were taking it slow this was the right way to go.
She had to tell him and hope this didn’t ruin all the progress they have been doing during all these difficult times.
Jughead arrived at her apartment half an hour later, she was curled on the couch cuddling with Toffe, she had tears in her eyes.
“Betty! I’m here!” She heard him arrive and set his keys on the table, “are you feeling better?” he asked while he headed towards the couch, and then he sees her, she had been crying.
“Hey, Betty! What’s wrong?” He asked confused.
“I think I know why I’m feeling like this,” she said quietly “I think I’m pregnant Juggie” and then he froze.
It wasn’t totally impossible, ever since that night they shared at the bunker, a few months ago, they were very sexually active, they had always been, but they were careful too, she had told him recently she started taking birth control again, maybe they shouldn’t have relayed on that.
“How’s that possible?” he got flashbacks of the first time they got a pregnancy scare back in high school during their senior year.
“I don’t know. I haven’t missed a pill, but I’ve been sick for three days, and I’m more than five days late, there’s a chance, Juggie” she said as he sat next to her on the couch, she immediately put Toffee down and hugged him, “What are we gonna do?” she whispered
“Well… we need to be sure there’s a baby first, why don’t you take a test? I could go to the store and buy it, or if you want we can go for a blood test tomorrow morning” he suggested and then kissed her forehead.
“I think I’m too anxious to wait”
That was his cue to leave to the closest drugstore in town and buy three pregnancy tests, trying to not get recognized by anyone, gossip spreads fast in Riverdale.
…
The tests were negative. The three of them.
They were relieved at first, but later that night Betty couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Their pregnancy scare came with a realization.
Jughead walked into the bedroom to find Betty lying under the covers, she seemed upset.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, as he took off his pants and joined her.
“Honestly, I don’t know, when I started to suspect I was pregnant, I kinda got into the idea, I have never thought about it before you know?” she said as he leaned closer to hold her, she placed her head on his chest and he caressed her hair.
“Wait, are you telling me you want to have a baby? Do you want to try? Now?” She could hear the panic and confusion in his voice.
“No, I’m telling you that the possibility of it has never crossed my mind until now, and I like the idea, I never thought that was something I would want, but I think I do, not now, maybe in the future, with you, if you are up for it” she had a slight smile on her face that radiated hope.
“Well, to be honest, this never crossed my mind before, I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t terrified about the idea of having a baby right now, but we are partners in life, and whenever we feel ready for it, we will be able to be the best version of ourselves to start our own family, what do you say?” This was one of the most honest conversations they’ve ever had about their relationship and their future, and thankfully it didn’t feel scary anymore for neither of them.
“I’m all in if you are” she leaned over to peck his lips, “there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about”
“Go ahead”
“When I thought I was pregnant, I realized that I don’t want to rise my baby here, I know I promised my mom to not leave her alone, but most of my memories in this town are full of pain. I think we need a fresh start somewhere else”
“How about we grab the bike and leave?” he suggested like he did back when they were sixteen, young foolish teens in love.
“We can’t just leave like that, we are not teenagers anymore Juggie” she giggled remembering that conversation they had years ago, wanting to exile this wicked little town.
“I know, but I do agree with you about leaving Riverdale, we need a fresh start, where should we go?”
“I haven’t thought about it, but wherever you are it’s enough for me Juggie, you’re my home and I’ve spent too much time far from it.”
“I love you.” He said, sealing the promise with a sweet kiss. The promise to leave town, the promise to start building their future, to return to the big game they started playing when they were sixteen. Together.
“I love you too, Jug, never stopped.”