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The night air was heavy and humid. Kyouka sat on the roof of her apartment building smoking a cigarette.
Years ago, she had promised Momo she would never smoke one again.
But that promise didn’t matter anymore. Momo had promised to love her forever and there she was getting married to someone else, just because she was afraid.
God, everything reminded her of Momo. Her smile, her hair, her laugh, the curve of her neck: she missed it all.
However angry she was at Momo for abandoning her, she couldn’t stop loving her.
Momo used to hate humidity, especially back in school when she wore her hair in a ponytail: it made her hair puff up and become frizzy, and it made the usually pristine Yaoyorozu Momo sweaty and flustered.
Kyouka loved seeing Momo flustered, knowing she was the only person to see her like that.
For the umpteenth time, Kyouka went over their last conversation in her head; her brain replaying the scene for her, every word imprinted in it.
They had been sitting on the roof, just like she was doing now, sharing a comfortable silence and watching the night sky.
“I’m getting married.”
Kyouka laughed, “Oh yeah?” she had thought it was a joke.
Momo turned to her, looking serious but otherwise unaffected. “I’m serious Kyo. We-” She cut herself off and turned away again. “We both knew this was going to happen eventually.”
Kyouka could not register what was happening, Momo was getting married? "...To someone else?"
The way she was acting suggested it had been a long time coming- as if Kyouka was supposed to have expected this. She hadn’t expected this, why should she have? They were happy together.
She puzzled for the right words but couldn’t find any, her mouth hung open. “…What?”
Momo didn’t turn around, “Well, we weren’t going to be together forever..I have certain responsibilities-“
Kyouka cut her off, “What the fuck? What do you mean-“. The confusion was lifting and giving way to frustration.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt me." Momo replied curtly "I understand this might be difficult for you, it’s difficult for me as well. I don’t want to break this off but-”
Momo sighed, “I don’t want to hurt you, Kyo.”
“Don’t. Don’t call me that.”
“I hope we can still be friends.”
“Why.” Kyouka swallowed, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to escape.
“Why are you- I thought we were happy."
She gulped, struggling for the right words. "We can get married. I want to marry you. Momo, I love you."
Her voice broke as she rambled. Treacherous tears started to fall, and she hurriedly wiped them away.
"Don't leave me..." She said, her voice sounding like a whisper. Schooling her face to match the impassive facial expression she was sure Momo had on, though she couldn't see her.
Momo was still looking away, across the skyline, her face hidden. She was beautiful, Kyouka had always thought that, ever since they were in school together. It seemed as though Momo wanted to say something but was holding back. All of a sudden she was unreachable again, just like in school.
“...I should leave,” Momo responded, after a long pause. She glanced at Kyouka for a split second as she stood up to leave, her eyes were slightly red but once again unreadable, something they hadn’t been in years: not to Kyouka at least. Kyouka was suddenly embarrassed about her rambling, Momo felt like a stranger: she had always been the more reserved of the two, even when they were together. But Momo was never a stranger to Kyouka: they understood each other completely, without having to say a word. They were great together, perfect even. She had thought Momo felt the same.
Now she was the one to look away from Momo, staring at the night sky and trying to blink the memories away.
“I'll see you...” Kyouka didn't reply, sitting silently as the other woman left.
It had been months since that night, and she hadn't seen Momo since.
Left with only the memory of that conversation, and all the others they shared: the many long days and nights spent together. Sometimes, on especially lonely nights, she imagined she had seen Momo wipe a tear away on that night. How could Kyouka be the only one to feel like this, how could Momo have remained seemingly emotionless throughout the whole exchange? She imagined that Momo had turned away in an attempt to hide her own tears, or because she couldn't bear to see Kyouka cry.
And, on the loneliest nights, she imagined that Momo was thinking of her at that very moment: reminiscing and sharing the same regrets that Kyouka did.
When she woke up after those nights, she was filled with guilt. How could she wish sadness on the woman she claimed to love? How selfish was she that she couldn't even hope that Momo was happy?
Kyouka spent many nights on that roof, kept awake by the memory of the short conversation. The conversation which had ended the relationship with the woman she had thought she would spend the rest of her life with.
Eventually, the pain dulled into an ache.
Months later when she received a wedding invitation, she did not cry.
And she didn't spend the night sobbing on her bathroom floor.