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Breathe the life back into my bones

Summary:

Dazai turned back to Chuuya and checked to make sure he was still alive.

Goosebumps covered every inch of his skin, the frost in his hair had crystallized by now, sticking stubbornly. He was paler than Dazai, and his lips were dangerously blue. But he was breathing.

Or

Atsushi asks Dazai what his first kiss was like.

Notes:

Let me hear your thoughts in the comments!

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“Hey, Dazai-San?”

“Hm?” Dazai tilted his head slightly to Atsushi, not looking away from his suicide book.

“What was your first kiss like?”

Dazai raised an eyebrow,  putting his book down to glance at Atsushi with a questioning look on his face. “My my, what a personal question.”

Atsushi immediately flushed, almost falling back out of his seat as he waved his hands in the air. “I-I’m sorry you don’t need to answer that-“

“Now now,” Dazai smirked, “I never said I wouldn’t. But why do you ask?”

Dazai didn’t know it was possible for Atsushi’s face to become even redder than it already was. “Well,” his eyes darted across the agency office, everyone else was focused on their computers. “I was just curious?”

Dazai narrowed his eyes “this doesn't have anything to do with you and the port mafias attack dog does it?”

Dazai took the silence as an affirmative, though judging by Atsushi’s thoughtful face, he wouldn’t fess up unless Dazai told him something first.

“Alright, tell you what.” He leaned back in his chair, folding the corner of the page and placing his book in the drawer of his desk. “I’ll tell you about my first kiss, and you tell me about whatever’s going on between you two.”

Atsushi’s eyes widened and he nodded furiously, waiting in bated breath as Dazai cleared his throat. It wasn’t just every day that Dazai willingly handed out information about himself, so he listened intently.

“This happened when I was around… fifteen? Perhaps early sixteen?”

Atsushi’s jaw dropped “huh, wait you’re not joking about telling me?”

“No, of course not,” Dazai waved him off with a bandaged hand “now hush and listen. I had been sent on a Winter mission to the mountains with my partner at the time, Chuuya Nakahara otherwise known as Chibi…”

 


 

“This blows!” Chuuya groaned as he pulled his jacket closer around his shivering frame.

“I thought Chuuya was excited about a mission in the mountains?” Dazai smirked, seeming unaffected by the snow as he bent low to pick up his duffel bag before the snow could bury it.

“Yes because I’ve never seen the mountains before!” Chuuya yelled over the wind that was whipping his fiery hair around. "I've seen enough now!"

“We’ll get used to it, we’re going to be sent on one of these every year because the boss likes to see us suffer,” Dazai calmly stated. If he hadn’t pushed Chuuya forward down the path then the redhead's legs would for sure have stuck in the same position like a statue.

Chuuya’s teeth chattered, stopping him from making any smart-ass comments, maybe Dazai didn’t hate the winter after all. Small blessings.

The safe house they eventually stumbled across was one that Dazai had stayed in the winters before, it was the size of a normal cabin, hidden off in a little corner of the woods that the helicopter had dropped them off at.

Chuuya hastily pushed open the creaky door, retreating to the cover of the cabin. Dazai supposed that Chuuya had never been in weather this cold before, whereas he had experienced much worse.

“This place looks like it hasn’t been used for a year,” Chuuya scrunched up his nose in distaste as he eyed the dusty interior.

“That’s because it hasn’t,” Dazai deadpanned, placing his luggage down on the floor next to where Chuuya had dropped his to find out how to work the fireplace.

It was a one-bedroom one-bathroom cabin with a couch in the living area. The place was small enough for Dazai, but Chuuya would no doubt complain about it. Even if he had lived on the streets for a good portion of his life the Chibi sure did have a fancy taste.

“I call the bed~” Dazai chirped, turning around the corner to see that Chuuya already was on the bed, curled up with as many blankets as possible when he couldn’t figure out how to work the fireplace.

“Too bad!” He shouted from his blanket pile, and Dazai smirked before reaching for the end of the blankets and yanking them off, sending Chuuya to the wooden floor.

“Fuck you!” Chuuya yelped as he rubbed the back of his head, then shivered “give me my damn blankets back!”

“They’re not your blankets,” Dazai shot back “I was at this safe house first!”

“Yeah well, I’m second!” Chuuya clambered to his feet, reaching for the blankets “and I’m stronger.” He tugged hard on the other end of the blanket, and after struggling Dazai let go of his end, sending Chuuya right back to the floor where he belonged.

Chuuya glowered “I am going to-“

“Yeah yeah, all bark and no bite.” Dazai taunted, then his eyes flickered to the window above the bed where the milky sky was starting to fade away to a darker color. “We need to go scout the town soon” he sighed disappointed “no matter how much I enjoy humiliating you, I will make a deal.”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow “...what’re you planning?”

Dazai shrugged before proposing his deal “If I figure out how to work the fireplace then you have to sleep on the couch, not that it matters anyway because I will have the bed no matter what…”

A muscle in Chuuya’s forehead twitched as he held himself from yelling, but he too spared a glance to the window to see the growing darkness before sighing. No matter how much he hated the mission he didn’t want to get on the boss's bad side by arguing the whole time.

“Fine, I’m sleeping as close to that damn fire as possible.” He grumbled, pushing past Dazai to get through the bedroom door “I’m putting on another layer and we’re going out to investigate whatever the hell is wrong with this place.”

“Oh, my another layer? Chuuya really does have a bad cold tolerance.”

“Shut the hell up! Those bandages give you extra insulation.”

 


 

“Wait pause, hold on.” Atsushi halted Dazai with the raise of his hand. “What’s the background? I’m confused as to why you and Nakahara-San are there?”

“Oh right, I do suppose that is important to the story.” Dazai hummed “well, I was sent there every winter because there was an ability user living in that small town. Much like you, he didn’t know he had one.”

Atsushi perked up, eyes shining “really? What was his ability?”

“It was a rather rare one,” Dazai answered “the ability to summon snow depending on the environment, of course. If it was a hot area then he would be useless, but this town was always known for its sudden and devastating snowstorms. The weather all depended on his emotions, and if left unchecked, then there would be much carnage.”

Atsushi’s mouth flew open and closed “but that doesn't make sense. Why would the port mafia care about a town?”

“Oh they didn’t,” Dazai shrugged “I was sent out every winter to scout him out and check his potential. The port mafia wanted to recruit him before he could be a dangerous enemy if other organizations got their hands on him first.”

“Wow,” Atsushi gaped “I wonder what ended up happening to him…”

Dazai’s lip quirked up to a mischievous smirk “Listen to the story and you’ll find out.”

 


 

Chuuya’s nose and cheeks were bright red while Dazai kept his pale shade of skin. For once Chuuya didn’t seem bothered, too focused on staying warm to care at the moment.

“I thought it was cold during the day, but it’s even worse during the night.” His voice was barely an audible whisper over the whipping wind.

“Yes but we won’t be out here for much longer,” Dazai informed, pointing between the trees to a clearing where houses and stores occupied the land. It looked more like a ghost town than an actual place where people lived.

“People live here?” Chuuya asked, trudging through the snow, Dazai had gotten a punch to the cheek when he asked if Chuuya needed a piggyback ride before he drowned in the snow.

“Yes, yes they do. Come on, it’s that house over there.” Dazai tugged on Chuuya’s sleeve when the redhead stopped to shiver.

The path to the wooden house was patched despite the constantly falling snow, the place was significantly larger than Dazai and Chuuya’s safe house, the lights shone a golden glow, making the atmosphere homey.

Dazai knocked on the door and there was shuffling on the other side before the door creaked open, answered by an old lady.

She had a hunched posture but was just a bit taller than Chuuya. Dazai made a mental note to make fun of him for it later.

The woman’s beady eyes met Dazai’s and they brightened significantly, “Fuji, is that you?”

Dazai nodded, a smile spreading across his face. It wasn’t real, Chuuya could tell by the slight way his lip twitched, but it was polite enough for the woman who seemed overjoyed with his presence.

Well, that made one of them.

“Out here once again for yet another winter, boy tell your father to let you vacation somewhere nicer than this place. Oh, come on, it must be cold!”

Chuuya wanted to facepalm, yeah, no shit it was in the negatives.

Dazai stepped into the house “ah, well my father's favorite vacation house is just up that way,” Dazai gestures in the opposite direction of where they were staying “he insists that I visit it.”

And when Chuuya stepped in, the woman finally seemed to notice him. “Oh, did you bring a friend along this time? I’m glad you're finally making friends.” She studied Chuuya “or is this more than a friend…?”

Chuuya vigorously shook his head, not trusting his voice to not shake. He needed to defrost his vocal cords or something. Dazai snorted, closing the door behind them.

“My father made me bring him along, just a neighbor.”

The woman pursed her lips as if she could see through their lies “...sure.”

She led them further into the house, it was all carpet, the walls thick to keep out the cold. The furniture was rustic themed and Chuuya could say that he liked it in here.

“So,” she said once they were all sat at the table and hot chocolate was placed in front of them “what is your name?” She directed her question towards Chuuya.

“Uhh, it’s Chuu-“

“You can call him Chibi.” Dazai interrupted both Chuuya and the lady raised an eyebrow. So they were going with fake names? “Don’t worry everyone calls him Chibi,” Dazai reassured, “it’s a nickname.”

“Well, I do suppose he is on the small side…”

Chuuya was going to crush this place under his fist when he got the chance, rustic furniture be damned.

“So where is Kane?” Dazai asked, cutting to the point. Kane, Chuuya realized, was the boy with the snow ability they were looking for. He assumed that this was where lived, and based on the files, this woman was Kane’s grandmother.

The worry lines along the woman’s forehead increased as if just the thought of her grandson was such a heavy burden. “You know him, he usually slips off without a word and comes back as he wishes.”

“Yes,” Dazai nodded “he is quite secretive. No clue where he is at the moment?”

“I’m afraid not, my best guess would be somewhere in those woods.”

From what Chuuya was gathering from this conversation was that Kane was a real jerk for making his grandmother worry like this. He could at least appreciate her enough to tell her where he was going.

Chuuya zoned them out to tighten his grip around the warm cup, tipping it up to his chapped lips. He had never had hot chocolate before, but if liquid could taste like a hug then this would be it, it soothed his strained vocal cords like a liquid elixir.

“Chibi?” Someone asked, and it wasn’t Dazai’s voice. Chuuya looked up to the woman, clearing his throat.

“Uh… yes?”

The woman frowned, looking at Dazai who in turn stared at Chuuya with something contemplating in his one visible eye. 

“Say, is your friend sick? He looks a little flush.”

A bandaged hand brushed Chuuya’s bangs away to feel his forehead “no, he’s just not acclimated to the cold. Iron disorder and circulation issues do not favor this climate.”

Chuuya wanted to snap at Dazai and tell him that he was the one with the iron deficiency but ignored the lie to sip some more of his drink.

Dazai pressed the woman for more information on where her grandson could be, but not even she seemed to know. Dazai stood from his chair, “it looks like it’s time for us to return to our own cabin.”

The woman frowned, peering out the window “it’s awfully dark out there, are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?”

“We appreciate the offer and the drinks,” Chuuya finally spoke, voice strained “but we have to get back soon.” He dropped into a polite bow, Ane-san's lessons coming to mind. Dazai was a jerk and didn’t bow.

The woman’s lips twitched upwards “how polite you are. Continue to accompany Fuji on these trips. And Fuji,” she turned to Dazai “I know that you and Kane are friends so if you see him around then please ask him to visit?”

Dazai nodded as she escorted them to the door so they could pile on their jackets over their clothes “of course.”

As they walked away from the warm atmosphere of the house, Chuuya looked to Dazai “are you really his friend?”

“No, not in the least.”

 


 

“So if you didn’t like Kane as a friend…” Atsushi wondered out loud “then did you like him as a lover?! Was Kane the one you kissed?”

“I honestly have no idea how you came to that conclusion, Atsushi-Kun,” Dazai said flatly, making Atsushi deflate.

“Well, it was either between Kane or some random town girl who lives there…” Atsushi pouted.

“How about instead of formulating the wrong conclusion, just listen to the story your dear mentor is offering you.”

Atsushi flushed “r-right.”

 


 

That night, to put plainly, was cold. Dazai slept on the bed completely unbothered as Chuuya lay on the wooden floor as close to the fire as he could get, blankets wrapped around him like a cacoon.

Chuuya didn’t know that the cold would bother him this much, but he just couldn’t shake the icy grip from his muscles.

He finally fell asleep around three in the morning with only the dying crackling of the fire and the whipping of the wind to listen to. Chuuya couldn’t imagine living in a place like this, it was lonely as hell.

He would try to make this mission as brief as possible. Find this Kane dude, neutralize him or recruit him, and hopefully be out of there the next day.

Chuuya had the gut feeling that they wouldn’t be letting this boy run free any longer. Dazai didn’t seem bothered by the feel of the weather, but Chuuya did notice how he felt distaste towards the prospect of it being there.

Was the snow not as bad last time?

That probably meant that Kane’s ability was spiraling with his feelings.

With those final thoughts, Chuuya drifted off…

Only to be kicked awake a few hours later.

“Chibi~ Chuuu-yaaa wake uppp.” Dazai whining was not the first thing Chuuya wanted to hear when he woke up.

So he rolled over on the hard floor and blindly patted around him for a blanket to fend off the cold that chased him into wakefulness.

“Idiot give me my blanket back!” He yelled, voice rough with sleep. He cracked his eyes open just in time to see Dazai dump the blankets on top of him.

“You were sleeping like such a dog,” Dazai said unhelpfully.

Chuuya buried his nose into the blankets “shut up and go away!”

“You want to get the job done today, correct? Well, In order to do that we have to find and capture the ability user.” Dazai stated, and Chuuya shivered at the pure weirdness of the situation.

Usually, he would be the one pestering Dazai to get up off his ass so they could do the mission, but their roles were reversed.

In his defense, he didn’t feel like braving the cold.

Dazai’s footsteps retreated to the kitchen and Chuuya listened as he went through cabinets and started on the coffee.

Oh, how Chuuya wanted coffee.

He found himself rolling out of the blankets to get to his feet (that had many layers of socks on them) and trudging to the kitchen to snatch the coffee mug from Dazai’s fingers.

“Ah, he lives!”

“Shut up dipshit, let’s just get this over with so I can get home and take a hot bath. The plumbing here sucks.”

“For such a street rat you adapt badly.”

“For such a suicidal maniac you suck at killing yourself.”

They sat in comfortable silence, their morning scuffle out of the way as they sipped from their coffee and looked out the window.

“So, game plan?” Chuuya finally asked, setting the cup down. His insides felt slightly less like an ice chest.

“Locating him won’t be too complicated, Kane has a hideout he likes to go to when he’s in… emotional turmoil.”

“Is that why the snow is so bad?”

“Yes, it seems that this mission may be the one where we have to exterminate him.” Dazai said casually, dropping his mug into the sink.

Well, it seemed that they were on the same page.

 


 

Atsushi paled “w-wait do you’re gonna kill him?!”

“Shush, we’re in the mafia we killed people all the time.”

 


 

“I can't believe you made those people believe that you’re just a visiting vacation goer,” Chuuya scanned the surroundings. White on top of white on top of more white. “Not that there would be any tourist here.”

Dazai shrugged, avoiding a fairly large snowdrift as they continued down the path. It felt like they’d been walking for half of the day now. “I came here every Winter, though this will probably be my last…”

Chuuya didn’t miss the way his partners' dark eye lingered over their surroundings, it held something strangely soft in it. The kind of look that Chuuya only noticed through fleeting glances.

“Are you gonna miss this place?”

“Perhaps.”

Chuuya snorted “well good riddance.”

“So insensitive,” Dazai whined, the look in his eyes now gone. Good, the softness had creeped him out.

“Says the manipulative bastard.”

“The boss will probably keep sending us on snow missions just to piss us off.” Dazai crushed Chuuya’s hopes and dreams of never being this cold again under his leather shoe.

“He better not, I’ll just skip it-“

Dazai placed a finger to Chuuya’s lips, making the redhead stop in his tracks. His blue eyes scanned over the surroundings before he spotted what Dazai was looking at.

There was a treehouse. It was built out of warm-colored wood, looking sturdy on the tree, a stark contrast to the weak trees that whipped around back and forth under the pressure of the wind.

Dazai didn’t look too surprised to see it.

“That looks warm,” Chuuya said bluntly, while he had grown a little more accustomed to the cold weather since yesterday, he still couldn't keep himself from wrapping his arms around himself or sometimes even gravitating towards the nearest warmth. (Dazai had pushed him away on many occasions and Chuuya pretended that nothing happened.)

“Let’s go dog, don’t stray from the path now.”

Chuuya grumbled in protest under his breath as he followed Dazai down the sloping hill and to the base of the tree.

Chuuya almost missed the frozen-over lake, blanketed by snow and shimmering like thousands of tiny crystals. It would have looked beautiful if not for the ghostly skies.

Then as they came to a stop directly under the tree house, the wind stopped completely as if persuaded by some unknown force. Chuuya’s numb face started to get the pins and needles sensation with the sudden warmth.

“What the fuck?” He breathed, and Dazai nodded in agreement.

“No doubt he’s up there," Dazai pointed a skinny finger to the house.

“So what, we just barge in?” Chuuya asked incredulously “won’t he attack us on the spot?”

“Kane isn’t the type of ability users we are used to dealing with, he has no battle experience and his first instinct won’t be to attack us with his uncontrolled ability,” Dazai explained, Chuuya nodding along but not really caring.

“Okay so… barge in and what, offer him a spot in the Mafia? Kill him?”

Chuuya did not want an ability user like this in the mafia. Part of him was selfish, a feeling that festered in his gut. He never liked it. If someone this powerful was induced then he wouldn’t be of much use anymore, and the boss would dispose of his pawns if they were not of use to him anymore.

Idiot Dazai did the same thing.

But Chuuya was loyal and he would fight to the death for this organization, he had pledged his life afterall.

“We dispose of him,” Dazai said simply, a dark look flashing over his one visible eye.

Did he have the same thought process as Chuuya did?

“The boss told me to determine what to do with the target and…” Dazai’s lips tugged into a dangerous smirk “I conclude that we should silence him. It is for the mutual benefit of us.”

So yes, they were exactly on the same page. The same letter, to be exact.

Chuuya shared a look with Dazai before starting up the rope ladder first in case there just so happened to be any surprise attacks. Though Dazai was never wrong so he highly doubted there would be.

Chuuya pulled himself up to the deck, the wood was sturdy under his feet, not giving in any areas. It looked like any other treehouse, yet it was well built and through the doorless doorway, Chuuya could see the light of lanterns lighting the inside.

Dazai joined him and didn’t give away any emotion on his face as he walked through the doorway, eyes zeroing in on the far corner of the room.

Chuuya looked that way and spotted a boy sitting against the wall on top of a blanket. He looked to be around their age, maybe a bit older, but when his icy eyes fluttered open, he was immediately on gaurd.

“Hello Kane~” Dazai waved, going to shamelessly sit across from the boy. Chuuya lingered by the doorway but slowly followed close to him.

The treehouse was a one-room one, it was completely empty inside with the exception of Kane, his blanket, and a chest in the other corner where he assumed the food was stored.

“You’re dad make you come back to this hell?” Kane asked in an annoying voice. Chuuya didn’t like him at all.

Chuuya also didn’t like how he was wearing a damn tank top and shorts like it was a normal thing.

“Yes, unfortunately” Dazai answered, “though he let me bring the Chibi along so it makes for a more interesting experience.”

Kane’s eyes flashed to Chuuya’s, and Dazai immediately saw the moment that a cold gaze met with a fiery one.

Interesting indeed.

“Hello,” Kane said curtly, and Chuuya immediately picked up the venom laced in his tone. Not a people person.

“Hi” Chuuya replied flatly.

Dazai sweatdropped. “Anyways,” he intervened their passive-aggressiveness “how is your grandmother, Kane?”

The boy shrugged noncommittally “She’s fine.”

Dazai leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of his face as Chuuya had seen the boss do so many times. They were so alike that it was creepy sometimes. “Is that so? Want to tell me why you haven’t visited her in nearly a week?”

Kane shrugged again “I dunno.”

Dazai shifted and Chuuya knew he was about to play mind games with the boy just by the way he raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that? The last time I visited you were full of life but this time you almost seem… dead. Is there any particular reason for that?”

Kane’s shoulders tensed as his eyebrows furrowed “stop while you’re ahead.” He growled in a low tone.

“You see what I think happened during the time I was absent..” Dazai continued, “some townspeople came to your house with pitchforks and torches, old school style, and burned it down. That’s why it was different when I visited.”

Well, Chuuya certainly didn’t know that. It would have been nice for Dazai to clue him in on it.

“And they called you names, didn’t they? Maybe ‘snow bringer’ or ‘ice caller.’ Perhaps even ‘the reason they were dying.’” Dazai paused for dramatic effect, watching as Kane squirmed. “You were confused and had no idea what they were talking about, and later that night when your emotions were spilling out uncontrollably, the largest snowstorm on record hit. During the summer.

If Chuuya could focus close enough, he could see the tears gleaming in Kane's hardened eyes.

“Shut up!” he snarled, voice booming over the howling of the wind that had suddenly returned.

“That was the night that you figured out the destructive power you harbored inside of your body,” Dazai concluded, “and you started isolating yourself in hopes of disappearing.”

Kane swiped a hand in the air and from somewhere behind them something made a loud thud, the chest’s contents spilling out. Chuuya jumped to his feet, using his gravity to keep him grounded from the wind tearing at him though Dazai remained seated like the cocky bastard he was.

And all it took was one more push to roll off that forked tongue of Dazai's before Kane lost all sense of calm.

“You weren't trying to protect your town from yourself, no. You don’t give a shit about them. You were just ashamed of yourself.”

Sometimes Chuuya wished Dazai wasn’t so good at pissing people off.

Blinded by rage, angry tears streamed down Kane’s flushed cheeks as he screeched against the wind, the blizzard welcoming itself into the treehouse and wreaking devastation. Suddenly Chuuya realized just how dangerous an ability user of the elements could be.

Before Dazai could reach out to tap Kane’s head and nullify his ability, the walls shook and the floorboards started peeling due to the sheer force of the gale winds. They flew past Chuuya’s head, revealing the icy ground below them.

Chuuya blindly reached for Dazai’s collar, and that was when the treehouse collapsed.

Cold showered on Chuuya, but he managed to stay in the air despite the raging storm around him, Dazai however, fell down to the ground. His impact was cushioned by the fresh snow blanketing the ground, Kane was nowhere to be seen.

Dammit, Chuuya had been distracted by making sure that idiot Dazai was okay. He twisted around, eyes darting over the landscape, his visibility was blocked by the pelting snow.

Something escaped Dazai’s lips from below him, but his voice was stolen by the wind. Chuuya squinted “What?!”

He couldn’t even hear his own voice.

He realized what Dazai had been trying to warn him about a second too late when an icicle came out of nowhere, slicing through the air and catching him off guard. Chuuya barely deflected it in time before another three came, but missed him by a long shot.

If this kid had better control of his ability then Chuuya would be evenly matched, though this was a fight that would keep him on his toes.

Chuuya quickly put up his defenses, scarlet light flaring around him. The snow now hit his barrier, no longer reaching him. He should have just done this the whole time he was in this damned place.

Then a voice shouted at him “Tree!”

Chuuya narrowed his eyes, looking around at the trees in confusion before he saw Kane clinging to one about eye level with him before lunging at him. Oh, what a good mafia member he would be.

Too bad he would never get that chance.

Chuuya caught him with his gravity, suspending him midair. Kane didn’t seem too surprised, letting himself go limp.

“Call off the damn storm!” Chuuya hollard, it was a wonder that the boy even heard him.

“Sure.”

Chuuya momentarily halted, “Huh?”

He chalked it up to the coldness seeping in his limbs, affecting his gravity concentration when a strong wind gust knocked him forward. It was hard enough to control his ability in normal weather conditions, but the cold made it significantly harder to keep that concentration.

Before he could regain his balance an onslaught of wind caught him from all sides, a force ramming against his shoulder so hard that Chuuya yelped in pain, sent crashing to the ice below.

The back of his head slammed against the hard ice, but Chuuya quickly scrambled to his feet, disoriented, his vision doubled as nausea bubbled in his stomach. All it took was one hit to the head to render someone unconscious, and even so, Chuuya stayed as alert as possible for someone with a concussion.

He hissed when he reached to rub the back of his head, his hand coming back crimson.

Shit, he needed to wrap this up.

Through his kaleidoscope vision, Chuuya spotted Dazai running towards him, wow, he was actually running? That was a rare sight meaning that something was about to go to shit…

The ice under Chuuya’s feet fractured into tiny spider web patterns, and it was then that it set in that he had landed on the frozen lake. Chuuya hovered over the surface of the lake, muscles shaking with exertion as he strained his ability.

The ice cracked away like a domino effect, spreading across the lake giving way to the chilly depths of the water. Then Chuuya spotted Kane, running along the edge of the lake, using it as a distraction to escape.

It was a tactical decision, but Chuuya was not about to give up just yet. With a last burst of energy, he reached a shaky arm out to grab ahold of the boy's body and yank him.

“What?” Was the last thing that Kane ever said before he was dragged under the water and held there until his lungs ingested the water and he died a slow death.

Chuuya allowed a satisfied smirk when he felt the struggle lessen, but it quickly disappeared when he realized that everything was growing black, dots dancing in his peripheral vision as he turned to Dazai with an alarmed look.

Chuuya hated concussions because Dazai had an equally alarmed look on his face and there was no way he was seeing things right.

That was the first time he had seen the emotion from Dazai. His partner was shouting something at him, but Chuuya’s head was booming too loud for him to hear.

Then Dazai reached out for him, dropping to slide against whatever stretch of ice was left before Chuuya dropped into the water.

As soon as his body was plunged into the fridged water, his limbs were no longer under his control, going completely numb.

The breath had been stolen from his lungs, replaced with the icy wrath of the lake's water. His vision blurred as he screwed his eyes shut, his eyelids blocking his eyes from the excruciating cold.

If Chuuya’s brain was working at the time, it would have been running a mile a moment, though not even flashes of his life could play in his head. The frigid cold blocked those out.

Death wrapped its icy claws around Chuuya.

 


 

“W-wait he died?” Atsushi blurted, on the edge of his seat.

Dazai facepalmed “no, he’s too much of a cockroach to die from cold water.”

“Why’d you explain it so dramatically then!” Atsushi cried, pulling at his own hair.

“That’s the art of storytelling! And besides, I want to embarrass him the most I can.”

 


 

Dazai stared numbly down at Chuuya’s body once he finished bodily dragging him out of the previously iced-over lake. Dazai had lunged just in the nick of time to dump his arm in and grab Chuuya’s collar, though it had been a close call.

Dazai's whole arm stung, but he would only imagine how Chuuya's whole body was feeling. 

And death was still a large possibility if he didn’t do anything soon.

Realistically Dazai could just leave Chuuya, but no matter how much he joked about it, Dazai couldn't possibly bring himself to do that. It involved a lot of pesky feelings he did not feel like elaborating on, and hopefully, he could avoid them for the rest of his life.

Dazai’s heart practically leaped to his throat when he had seen Chuuya plunge into the icy depths of the lake, he had never moved so fast in his life.

The image of Chuuya’s distressed look would forever be branded into his mind, but what was worse was his current state right now.

Chuuya was laying on his side, layers of clothes soaked through. The injury on the back of Chuuya’s head bled sluggishly, crimson mingling with the fiery color of his hair. His whole body shook violently, and if they weren’t in the situation then Dazai would have thought he was convulsing as he did sometimes after he used corruption.

Frost covered every inch of his body, coating his vibrant hair and his long eyelashes.

Dazai was pulled out of his stupor when Chuuya shifted and cracked open hazy azure eyes, not having the energy to lift his head he simply coughed up all of the water on the ground next to him.

Dazai numbly hauled him to a sitting position so he wouldn’t choke on the water, Chuuya’s whole body trembled under Dazai’s fingers.

He needed to get them out of there before Chuuya’s vital organs started to shut down. Quickly plans formulated in his mind, he calculated the risks of them all in a matter of seconds before coming upon the one that would most likely save their asses.

“Chuuya can you stand?”

That seemed like a dumb question, the chibi probably couldn’t stand with the concussion and his current hypothermic condition added on top of that would make it impossible. Chuuya leaned against Dazai’s shoulder, teeth chattering audibly.

So bad, in fact, that he couldn’t get a word out as he tried to get his numb tongue to move.

“Shush, don’t try to talk it’s okay.” Dazai didn’t know his voice could be so soft, he hated it but didn’t at the same time.

Dazai analyzed Chuuya and calculated the time it would take to get him to the cabin. When Dazai had been exploring the forest he discovered an abandoned cabin that was in good shape around… three minutes from their current position. There was no doubt that Dazai could get them there especially with the weather calmed down.

But time was of the essence and Chuuya didn’t have much of it.

Dazai would buy them some time here whether Chuuya liked it or not. Dazai awkwardly let Chuuya lean his back against his chest, adjusting them slightly “I’m going to do something that you’re definitely not going to like, but you’ll thank me when you’re alive.”

Dazai wasted no time in unzipping Chuuya’s jacket, it was wet and stiff peeling off of Chuuya, and then came the hoodie. Dazai reached to the hem of Chuuya’s long sleeve shirt, and as he carefully pried the cloth from Chuuya’s red skin he made a noise in protest, shivers increasing as the cold air came in contact with his bare skin.

“I can’t keep you in these wet clothes Chibi,” Dazai murmured into his ear, as quickly as possible striped Chuuya of his undershirt, he would remove Chuuya’s thermals once they reached the cabin, Dazai didn’t exactly carry extra pants on him.

“W-what?" Chuuya’s voice sounded like gravel under the wheels of a truck, grunting in surprise when Dazai nudged him away slightly to shed his own jacket and gingery took Chuuya’s arms to slide them through the sleeves.

“Hush, we're getting out of here” Dazai tried to sound taunting, but his tone fell flat.

It was scary that Chuuya didn’t protest or fight back when Dazai lifted him into a piggyback carry, he simply went boneless, shivers still wracking his smaller frame.

Dazai left Chuuya’s ruined clothes at the edge of the icy lake as he trudged out of there. The snow no longer pelted down on them, the ability user has successfully been disposed of, but at what cost?

Thoughts gnawed at Dazai’s mind as he stumbled to the location of the cabin. This was a risky gamble, the cabin could have easily been destroyed by the snowstorms or not be where he remembered it to be, but logically he saw no other choice.

But Dazai was always correct, and the cabin looked the same as it was. Dazai would question why there was a random cabin out here later, but for now, he would not look a gift horse in the mouth.

He pushed past the front door to discover that it had a similar layout to their safehouse. There was definitely not going to be plumbing in a place like this but that was fine, it wasn’t like he could just shove Chuuya in the bath and call it a day, a hot bath would do more harm than good at the moment. 

So Dazai was quick to discard Chuuya on the couch and pushed it close to the fireplace and rushed to turn it on. Surprisingly it worked, the flames flickering to life. Dazai turned back to Chuuya and checked to make sure he was still alive.

Goosebumps covered every inch of his skin, the frost in his hair had crystallized by now, sticking stubbornly. He was paler than Dazai, and his lips were dangerously blue. But he was breathing.

Chuuya grunted when Dazai slid off his thermals “t-the f-fuck?” He slurred. 

At least he seemed to be coming back to awareness. Dazai thought for another moment, he had never dealt with a hypothermia victim himself but he did train under the boss and had medical knowledge. Normally heating blankets would be piled on the victim, but they didn’t have many resources and Dazai came to the devastating conclusion that skin-to-skin contact would save his partner.

Before Dazai grabbed the blankets from a nearby closet, he unwrapped the bandages around his own head without hesitation and held them to the back of Chuuya’s head as he lowered himself to lay down next to Chuuya on the couch, letting the redhead’s back face the fire and front face him.

“W-wha” Chuuya asked again, eyes flickering to Dazai’s face. He looked so confused that it hurt.

“It’s okay,” Dazai reassured both Chuuya and himself.

“‘M c-cold.”

Dazai pulled the blankets over them before sliding off his own shirt and pulling Chuuya into his own jacket so they could share one. Chuuya unconsciously tangled their legs, Dazai had to hold back from yelping at the feeling of Chuuya’s icicle feet.

“Better?” Dazai asked, and Chuuya was shaking so bad that he didn’t know whether he was nodding yes or shaking his head no.

“I- f-feel l-like -i-i-i’m gonna d-”

“Don’t finish that sentence Chuuya, you’ll be fine. I’m offering you my body heat so take it.”

Chuuya hissed “m-my a-arms and l-legs.”

“Yes, those will feel the coldest, though we can’t warm those up. We need to get your core heated before your limbs.” Dazai said in a calm tone, bringing a bandaged hand up to rub at Chuuya’s chest.

Chuuya scooted closer, bringing their bodies closer together while Dazai rubbed at his body, keeping one hand firmly placed over his head injury. It didn’t feel like it was bleeding any longer, but he definitely had a minor concussion.

Dazai could not let him fall asleep, so every so often he flicked Chuuya’s red nose to keep him aware. The time they spent on a couch was in their own bubble, minutes and hours didn’t exist, only Chuuya’s slow and uneven puffs of breath on Dazai’s face.

Dazai had never been this close to someone, the closeness made his skin crawl as if alive with a million fire ants and made nausea bubble in his gut, but he pushed it all aside when he was reminded that this was Chuuya.

Occasionally Chuuya would struggle to formulate words with his leaden tongue, most of the time Dazai couldn’t understand what he was saying, but it seemed to be sick rambling. Perhaps sins he had to get off of his chest before his demise.

Dazai knew that hypothermic patients tended to think they were going to die, so he tried not to let his partners' uncharacteristic way of suffering bother him.

“Azai… D-dazai?”

“Yes, Chibi?”

“O-Osamu” Chuuya stuttered, and Dazai's eyes widened at his given name.

“...Yes?” he asked tentatively. The night had fallen outside, the only quiet sounds around them were the crackling of the fire and the distant rustling of creatures outside.

“I-i wanna d-do something-jus’ incase…”

Before Dazai could tell Chuuya that he wasn’t going to die on his watch, Chuuya lifted a shaking hand to cup Dazai’s cheek, it was icy cold. Chuuya tried to move his head closer to Dazai, and when Dazai realized what he had been trying to do, he took Chuuya’s hand and leaned in without any other thoughts to capture Chuuya’s chapped lips with his own.

Was this what he wanted?

Deep inside Dazai knew that he felt a different way for Chuuya than he did any other person or subordinate or partner. The redhead was special and made life interesting, he could take Dazai’s insults and dished them right back, not intimidated in the slightest by his behavior or status.

Yes, this is what Dazai wanted.

But he knew deep down when Chuuya did survive, that they would pretend that it was for warmth. There was no guarantee that Chuuya would even remember this, so Dazai continued.

Their lips slotted perfectly together, it was nothing spectacular especially in the light of survival, but it just felt… right.

Dazai could feel Chuuya’s numb lips shaking against his, so he just barely pulled away to puff warm breaths against Chuuya’s face and lips, moving back in.

Even if Chuuya’s current status was ‘popsicle of the Port Mafia,’ when Dazai’s lips captured the redheads, even Dazai felt warm. Somewhere deep inside his chest in that organ he didn’t think he cared enough to rely on, something shifted every time he talked to Chuuya. As if bit by bit that ancient darkness that corroded his heart was lifted away when he saw the redhead.

And Dazai had no idea what to call it, he had never felt this way before.

And it scared the shit out of him.

Perhaps when they got out of this situation Dazai could ask about it, but he knew that he was best at running from his issues rather than facing him head-on. He would have to leave it to Chuuya to confront him.

Though maybe Odasaku would hear Dazai out on his strange mental maze of… emotions.

Chuuya’s breathing sounded like hyperventilating, though Dazai knew that it was just his shivers because victims with hypothermia breathed deep and slow. He pulled him impossibly closer. They spent a few more moments in silence until Dazai was forced to sit up, quickly replacing his heat with a blanket.

“I need to make sure your fingers and toes don't have frostbite,” Dazai informed Chuuya when he made a questioning noise.

The chibi would for sure kill him if Dazai didn’t save all of his body parts, so he went down to his feet first. They were heavily layered with socks that Dazai just so happened to find in the safe he had cracked the lock too, and after peeling them away from his feet and letting his breath hitch in anticipation, he let it out in relief.

Chuuyua’s toes weren’t purple or falling off.

If Chuuya had stayed in that lake any longer then he definitely would have suffered worse consequences. “Can you move your toes for me?” Dazai asked calmly.

“S-sure.”

Dazai watched patiently as the muscles in Chuuya’s legs strained until finally, his toes curled slightly. “Good, that's good Chuuya.”

“Y-you’ve never- never been s-so n-nice. ‘S creepy.

Dazai smirked for the first time in a while “I was just kissing you and that’s what you notice.”

‘It was for body warmth,’ Chuuya would have argued, but he remained silent, only letting out a hiss when Dazai started to rub at his feet with warm hands. He had ditched the bandages so they wouldn’t get in the way.

Dazai worked on each foot for about ten minutes before pulling the socks back up, he would check back on them later.

“C-coming -b-back?” Chuuya asked once Dazai burrowed back under the covers next to him.

“Yes, now give me your hands,” Dazai grabbed Chuuya's glove-covered hands, also found in the safe, and grabbed at the fingers to slide them off. Chuuya’s fingers didn’t have frostbite either, and Dazai allowed his lips to tilt up just a little to convey to Chuuya that his limbs would live to fight another day.

Dazai cupped Chuuya’s hands between his own, they were calloused from work, but Dazai would rather have calloused hands than perfectly manicured ones. It showed how much Chuuya worked and that was best to have in a partner, A work partner of course.

Dazai rubbed Chuuya’s hands between his own, causing friction and making the redhead groan in discomfort. Dazai momentarily stopped to puff warm breath onto his fingers, trying to nurture warmth back into them.

Chuuya’s head injury, once Dazai had checked it, was also something to mark off of the bucket list of things to tend to. It had stopped bleeding and Dazai wrapped his own bandages around Chuuya’s head to be safe.

And then he resumed his position.

“T-t-thanks.” Chuuya breathed against his neck and Dazai nodded.

“Just don’t die, Chuuya.”

“C-can you-you d-do some-something?”

Dazai raised an eyebrow “Depends on what it is?” Well, no it didn’t. If Chuuya in his current condition ordered him to go fight the wolves outside then Dazai would gladly do so.

“C-can you-you hu-hum?”

Dazai was a bit taken back by

Dazai sighed “the things I do for you Chibi.” But despite his words, he sighed before humming the first melody that came to mind. It wasn’t anything in particular, but Chuuya seemed to enjoy it as he pressed a cold ear against the base of his neck, feeling the reverberates of his chest.

He wouldn’t let Chuuya fully drift into sleep, but he would continue humming until he told him to stop, pulling his partner closer.

Dazai's body always tended to be colder compared to others while Chuuya’s ran hot, but right now Dazai felt like the warmest person on the earth.

 


 

“Wait wait wait!” Atsushi interrupted the story. “I-I need to collect my thoughts. You kissed port mafia executive Nakahara Chuuya?!

“Well, I was the executive at the time, but yes.”

Atsushi’s mouth hung open, but quickly closed “but it was a life or death situation, that doesn't even count as a first kiss!”

Dazai stared at him “does it count if there are feelings behind it?”

“Yes?”

“Then yes,” Dazai nodded “it was a proper first kiss.”

Atsushi gaped like a fish out of water “o-okay. Then how did you get out of there? Nakahara-San is still alive but he needed immediate medical attention.”

Dazai held up a finger “I was just about to get to that part.”

 


 

From what Dazai could tell, he had only been laying with Chuuya for an hour and a half, still enough time to get him out of this condition.

Dazai’s suspicions of this cabin had grown when the inside layout was the exact same as their own safe house, and in the safe that Dazai could crack easily was socks and gloves and more. He didn’t have time to check what else was in there because he was too busy nursing Chuuya back to a stable condition.

There was food in there too, granted, it was heatable food and Dazai would have to heat it up over the Fire, but there were also stale crackers too.

And In the very back was what Dazai had been looking for. Dazai reached back to retrieve the burner phone, quickly making his way back to Chuuya’s side to lay back down on the couch.

He poured the canned soup in the pot he had scrounged up from the cabinet and set it over the fire on the metal.

Getting something warm in Chuuya was the next order of business, a bath may help but the plumbing here obviously wouldn’t work.

Chuuya had scooted around to face the fire, his back to Dazai’s chest. He didn’t shiver as violently, though his skin was still ghostly pale.

Dazai reached for the phone, and thankfully it didn’t need any service to work. He dialed the one number he was forced to memorize, letting it ring.

The very fact that his boss had answered in only two rings proved Dazai’s theory, that this was yet another safe house in the area.

The same safe house that Dazai’s spy had been assigned to. The boss sent Dazai to the mountains as his first solo mission years ago, but of course, he would send one of his men to watch him and make sure he made the right decisions. To keep a leash on him.

This had been that man's safe house, well, until Dazai had killed him. Now it just sat abandoned, though Mori had kept it standing instead of tearing it down and destroying all traces of Mafia dwelling.

Did he predict that one day Dazai or someone else would fall in a lake?

Mori’s foresight didn’t matter now, Dazai would allow himself to tremble over it later. For now he was their ticket out of there.

“Yes?” Boss asked over the phone, voice level as if he had been expecting Dazai to call.

Dazai grit his teeth “boss,” he greeted “I need an immediate evacuation and medical attention at the coordinates of this safe house.”

There was clicking on the other end of the line before the boss spoke “I’ve got you on GPS, a helicopter will be arriving in half an hour.”

Dazai released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“What is Chuuya-Kuns current state?” Mori had kicked into doctor mode. ‘He has to keep his weapon alive,’ Dazai thought bitterly.

“Minor concussion, I prevented frostbite so his limbs are safe but he is still in critical condition. Ability overuse has depleted his energy.”

Dazai knew that the only reason Chuuya had passed out was the head injury and that he hadn’t completely overused his ability, but it was a white lie. Whatever kept Chuuya on bed rest for just a couple more days.

“I trust that you know the protocol. Medical evacuation will be arriving soon.”

“Yes sir.”

“And Dazai?”

Dazai frowned, talking to Mori was like talking to a grandmother, you could never hang up when you wanted to. “Yea boss?”

“Did you complete the mission?”

“Kane threw Chuuya into a lake.” Dazai deadpanned “He’s dead, at the bottom of the lake if you want to retrieve his body.”

“I see,” Mori hummed “good work, I suppose.”

Dazai scoffed as he hung up “yeah, sure.”

Chuuya scooted closer, tilting his head slightly in an attempt to look over his shoulder “W-was that th’ bo-boss?”

“Yes,” Dazai moved to rub Chuuya’s shoulder bone “we’ll be out of here soon enough.”

The glow of the fire illuminated Chuuya’s features, the visible side of his face glowed, fiery locks blazing under the light and azure eyes shimmered. Despite nearly freezing to death, Chuuya looked unfairly attractive.

“Y-you ‘know,” Chuuya started slowly, collecting his train of thought as his brain caught up with his words. “Y-you’re bein’ creepy.”

“How so?”

“Y-you k-kissed back.”

“Still caught up on that, are we?” Dazai taunted slightly.

“W-whatever ‘prolly won’t remem-remember this a-anyways.”

And Dazai agreed, it was the sad truth. They would both forget that this ever happened and pointedly ignore it until the other gave in. And they both were stubborn.

Dazai resigned to his fate as he sat up on an elbow, reaching over Chuuya to grab the pot. The soup was boiling.

“Sit up,” he said “eat your soup.”

 


 

Chuuya ended up with a few weeks off of work, forced into bed rest by the boss. Mori may run the mafia but he was also a doctor and letting someone work after a near-death experience such as that one was against doctor ethics.

Dazai though had to return to the field shortly after, forced to pick up the slack of his recovering partner.

Though he wasn’t against the work, it helped distract his mind. It helped him forget.

He didn’t visit Chuuya for weeks until the redhead had dragged himself from his bed and stomped over to his apartment in Pajamas, bandages littered the visible parts of his skin, though that wasn’t much because he wore sweatpants and a long sleeve.

His skin was still pale, though Dazai could see that some of the color had returned to it. The red tinge to his cheeks and nose was proof enough.

The blood had been moved from his freshly washed hair, no doubt Ane-San had a hand in that.

Chuuya pulled the blanket closer around his shoulders, blue eyes glaring daggers into him.
“What the fuck are you staring at,” his voice was a rasp, barely audible.

“A short Chibi,” Dazai answered without batting his eye.

Chuuya looked like he was going to refute, but ended up violently coughing in his sleeve. It was one of those chest-rattling coughs that made Dazai wince.

As a bargain of saving Chuuya’s life from the cold, he had gained pneumonia as a result. Chuuya practically leaned against the doorway and Dazai shuffled to the side.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed? Resting?”

Chuuya looked down at his feet, an uncertain look on his face. He was acting very un-Chibi-like, “I just- I wanted to see you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

Dazai knew that it was only a matter of time before Chuuya confronted him. His face remained carefully neutral “Chuuya… do you perhaps remember anything?”

Chuuya took a moment to contemplate before slowly shaking his head “no not really, everything was blurry.” He seemed frustrated, in a Chuuya manner he crossed his arms. “I guess I owe you one.”

It must have taken a lot for him to utter that from his defiant lips, Chuuya didn’t like owing anyone anything, though Dazai could relate.

So Chuuya didn’t remember what happened? It was to be expected, his concussion probably gave him a memory gap of that time, and he was delirious.

If that was the case then Dazai would keep his mouth firmly shut and not mention anything of it. Chuuya was his partner, his dog, he wasn’t supposed to feel any human emotions for anyone anyways, Dazai wasn’t a human after all.

Chuuya coughed again, sniffling.

“If you’re going to be standing there all pathetic then at least sit,” Dazai rolled his eyes, moving out of Chuuya’s way so he could enter his apartment.

Chuuya eyed him “you’re acting weird.”

Dazai raised an eyebrow “are you sure I’m not just a hallucination your sick mind conjured up?”

“At this point? No,” Chuuya grumbled. “Wheres the paperwork, I’ll do it.”

Dazai huffed, closing the door to join Chuuya on the couch.

 


 

“The end!” Dazai announced, clapping his hands together.

Atsushi gave him an unimpressed look “so you’re telling me… that you didn’t even tell him?

“Yes, I belive I left him in the dark about that part.”

Atsushi suddenly stood from his chair, grabbing Dazai’s arm and dragging him up. “You still love him right?”

“Well love is a strong word-“

“Come on,” Atsushi pushed him “you’re going to tell him exactly what happened and I am going to watch.”

“You’re acting very out of character, Atsushi-Kun.”

Atsushi continued to drag him out of the agency “well if you aren’t going to try to relay your feelings then I have no choice but to force you to do it. It’s my duty.”

Dazai finally gave in, ignoring Kunikida’s distant yelling as they exited the agency doors, “Atsushi-Kun?”

“Yes?”

“Did you learn a lesson from my story? Did that help you on what direction you need to go to get your kiss from Akutagawa~”

Atsushi flushed “yeah, all I have to do is throw him in a frozen lake and cuddle him back to life. Now come on, we’re going to the Port Mafia.”

“Ah, to see your emo boyfriend?” Dazai smirked, but it quickly fell when Atsushi replied.

“No, to see your hypothermic man. Come on.”