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Diya is sitting nervously in front of Noelle, her hands tapping and moving and jittering and fidgeting in her lap. She looks like she wants to say something- but she can’t. All that’s left is a slightly awkward silence, that Noelle is waiting patiently for Diya to break.
What in the world could she be so anxious about all of a sudden? Noelle asks herself, staring down at her own clasped hands with a slightly befuddled expression. As far as I know, nothing has changed. Is something on her mind? Is something making her uncomfortable?...
Diya then shifts. Noelle looks up, and it turns out that she’s reaching for her computer. Noelle has made sure that the both of them have completed all of their assignments, so there’s nothing that Diya needs to do, as far as she knows.
Diya’s biting her lip as she searches something. It seems to take a while. Noelle continues to wait patiently. The two of them have been sitting silently on Diya’s bed for about 10 minutes now.
Finally, Diya turns the computer around, and hands it to Noelle with shaking hands.
On the screen, Diya has simply searched up “ballroom dancing” and clicked on images. There are people in various steps of dance, whether it be a dip, or a twirl, or any of the other elements of dance that Noelle cannot put a name to. It looks complicated, and perhaps a bit frustrating, maybe embarrassing to be in the middle of. Noelle looks back up at Diya, and she looks even more nervous than before. It’s a bit worrying.
“...Are you alright, Diya?”
Diya gives a small nod and intakes a shaky breath, pausing for a moment. She’s preparing to say something, Noelle can tell.
“...Would…” Her voice is soft, and quiet. She says her words slowly and carefully. “...Would you like to dance… with me?”
Noelle’s heart skips a beat. Something about the offer makes whatever ridiculous teenage feelings that have recently cropped up around Diya incredibly obvious. She takes a deep breath, and considers her options.
Noelle has never danced before. She never considered it a useful skill. She’s seen glimpses of dances in movies before, sure, but they were always exaggerated and dramatized to make it seem like some wonderful thing, as all movies do to everything. She doesn’t really see the point.
But this is Diya. She wouldn’t ask her to dance unless she had a point behind it, which Noelle is currently unaware of. It does make her nervous to even think of doing anything like the people in the photos with Diya, twirling around in exaggerated poses and being altogether too close to the other person, but not in a way where she’s afraid to say yes out of fear. The only reason that Noelle is unsure is the annoying feelings that come along with it, that she has tried too hard to keep down. She doesn’t know why the feelings are there. Perhaps she can simply ignore them for this event. If she’s able.
Maybe it would be fun, she thinks, despite the echo of her mother’s warning in the back of her mind. If I were dancing with someone like Diya. She is strong, dependable, and patient, and I am used to her presence, and altogether would not mind being close to her in that way. She’s a perfect candidate for something like this.
And, simply put, she would do anything for her.
“Yes,” she replies, calmly, despite how she can feel something strange and fluttery in the pit of her stomach. Diya’s expression lights up, and Noelle finds herself smiling softly, glad that she made her best friend happy. “I’d be glad to. However, I do not know how to dance.”
“I don’t know how to dance either,” Diya admits shyly. She gets off her bed and stands in the middle of her room, hand outstretched and waiting for Noelle to take it. “I guess we’ll just have to make something up.”
Surprisingly, this is not as much as a problem as some would expect it to be.
——
The first order of business is finding a song to dance along to.
Although it certainly is possible to dance without music, it would certainly be a little more difficult. Having a guideline in the form of a tempo and rhythm would be much easier.
The two of them are sitting on the floor now, going through one of Diya’s playlists for something suitable. Preferably something rather slow, and without any embarrassing lyrics to be more than aware of, Noelle thinks to herself.
“Would Canon In D work?” Diya asks, clicking on a video on YouTube with the song enclosed. “It’s your favorite song, right?”
Noelle feels her face flush slightly as the song starts playing. It is her favorite song. And it’s absolutely perfect for the occasion, with just the right bpm for two teenagers who have never danced with another person in their entire lives. But it also happens to be associated with weddings, and well… she’s not sure why, but the fact that she’s furiously blushing just thinking about it also being associated with Diya tells her more than she needs to know.
“It is, but I don’t think it would… work for this.” She gestures vaguely. “Why don’t you pick a song? Did you have something in mind?”
Diya makes a little “hmmmm” noise and leans over to input something new into the search bar.
“I didn’t, not really, but there is this song that I discovered recently that’s very nice.” She clicks on a video with under just under 9K views, and a strange cover of a person sitting in a chair with what looks to be a large penguin mask on their head. “It’s called Perpetuum Mobile, by Takagi Masakatsu.”
Diya leans back, and clicks on the song.
It’s all piano, and a bit faster than Canon In D. The melody is carefree, and repeats often, with little pauses, and sometimes a small, awkward little tune in between, like the person playing it is still testing out their instrument and making up things as they go. Then after a few clumsily placed chords, the main melody starts again.
It’s beautiful, even with the imperfections.
“This sounds wonderful,” Noelle notes. “Would you like to choose this one?...”
Diya nods, and smiles a little, and Noelle feels something familiar and fuzzy rise in her chest.
Diya picks her computer up and sets it on her desk, and resets the video. She doesn’t click play just yet though. Noelle stands up, and crosses her arms out of habit, looking down at the floor. She’s not sure what she’s supposed to be doing, so she just stands there. I wish that my heart would calm down, she thinks, absentmindedly raising a hand and checking the pulse in her neck. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if I have a condition.
A hand gently touches her shoulder, and Noelle looks up to find Diya.
“We might want to figure out how we’re going to do this beforehand,” she notes. She gestures vaguely.
“Do what?” Noelle asks, clearly confused.
“Like…” Diya nervously places a hand on Noelle’s waist, and the other on her shoulder. “This. Is this okay?”
A lump rises in Noelle’s throat, and she nods. It’s more than okay. She isn’t sure what to do with her own hands, so she just copies what Diya did. It’s a little intimidating to be sure, with Diya being a bit taller than her, 4 inches to be exact. And dear god she’s nervous.
“Want me to like… figure out the steps and stuff?...” Diya asks, shuffling a little to the left. Noelle follows her lead awkwardly. “...Although I think some parts of the song might be a little hard to figure out.”
“I can fill in there,” Noelle replies. Truthfully, she isn’t prepared to, but she can try. Maybe she’ll learn as they go.
The fact that all I know is the twirl and dip isn’t helpful- maybe we should have watched some videos on how to dance beforehand before trying to actually do it ourselves. The spontaneity is charming, though.
“Alright. Ready?”
“Sure.”
Diya steps away to press play on the computer, and comes back to Noelle, putting one hand on her shoulder and one on her waist again. Unfortunately, an ad about Cheetos starts playing before the actual song.
However, it dispels the obvious tension, and Diya starts laughing, pressing her forehead to Noelle’s lightly. Noelle can ignore the weird skip her heart does because of the proximity in favor of smiling giddily at Diya and nearly drowning in the soft familiar warmth that envelops her whenever she’s around her best friend. She’d hug her if they weren’t about to dance.
Finally, the song starts, and Diya instantly freezes, her feet stagnant and glued to the floor. Her nervousness must have gotten to her.
“Diya,” Noelle whispers, attempting to bring her back to the present. “It’s okay.” She gracefully steps to the side as the melody picks up again, hoping that Diya will follow.
Diya does, and then seems to find the courage to continue to lead.
Diya nearly sweeps Noelle off her feet. Her movements are precise and coordinated, years of baseball stances and balancing on her toes making her an incredible dancer. Although it’s a little hard for her to hear the music as they slowly spin around her bedroom, (Noelle can tell because of the way that Diya turns her head, clearly trying to angle her good ear in the direction of the desk) she still manages to make every movement in time with notes of the piano.
At the points in the song where the person playing the piece is erratically banging out chords, Diya takes Noelle’s hand from where it’s been resting firmly on her shoulder and holds it loosely up in the air, twirling her around. Noelle finds herself giggling as she spins, something in the way that Diya’s grinning and the pure lightheartedness of the situation making infectious laughter bubble up from within her. She’s not so anxious anymore.
When she comes back to their previous arrangement, her and Diya are a little closer than before. But Noelle doesn’t mind. It’s actually really nice, she notes, resting her head against Diya’s shoulder for a second or two as they continue to move around the room in time to the music. One of Diya’s hands comes off of Noelle’s shoulder to ruffle her hair, and she laughs, not annoyed in the slightest by how her carefully pulled-back hair is going to slightly messed up now that Diya has disturbed it.
“Hold on, can I pick you up?” Diya asks, as they reach the midpoint of the song.
The question takes Noelle by surprise, but she quickly nods. She’s used to Diya picking her up after all- and it isn’t particularly unpleasant so why not?
Noelle finds herself being suddenly hoisted above the ground, and she scrambles for something to hold onto, which are apparently Diya’s shoulders in this case. Diya is now the one looking up at her, golden eyes sparkling with joy, and holding her aloft. And then the both of them are spinning around again- how Diya manages to not make herself dizzy and drop her, Noelle has no idea. Either way, she’s happier than she’s been all week.
Diya eventually puts her back down, giggling a little as she does so. After taking a few seconds to rest and let the room stop spinning, they start dancing once again.
Diya’s planning something, the way that her brows are furrowed and her grin has been replaced with a concentrated stare, giving her intentions away. Noelle knows enough about her to read her as a book, and her serious expression is a little amusing to be honest.
“What are you thinking about?” Noelle asks, startling Diya out of her concentrated silence.
“Nothing much,” she replies vaguely, with a hint of nervousness lacing her voice.
“Oh, really?” Her tone is a little teasing, to be sure. It’s quite unlike her, but Diya has a habit of bringing out parts of Noelle she wasn't even sure existed. “Well, ‘nothing much’ must be pretty important to you given the look on your face.”
“It’s a surprise. You’ll find out soon enough.”
And with that, Noelle finds herself abruptly being dipped, her head now parallel to the floor, about a foot off the ground. Diya is holding her steady, one hand supporting her shoulders, and one at the small of her back. She also happens to be directly above Noelle, her dark brown hair spiraling down and framing her face, mouth set into a small smile. Noelle clings desperately to her sweatshirt and shoulder, even though she knows there’s little chance of Diya dropping her.
She’s so close that Noelle can see her absurdly long eyelashes, and the flecks of brown and yellow in her golden eyes. She’s smiling, her lips curving up in that signature Diya way, where it’s a reminder of sunshine and warm hugs and soft words of comfort after a long day. Noelle could kiss her if she wanted. She-
Her breath hitches with a realization, something in the back of her throat, every butterfly in her stomach, every thought that she’s ever dismissed.
“Oh my lord…” she whispers. Diya seems a little confused.
“...Hi?...” She’s still smiling though. That’s good. It’s great- Noelle loves her smile.
I’m gay.
Oh my lord, I’m gay.
I’m gay, and I have a crush on Diya, and dear god this was not how I was expecting my afternoon to go.
Noelle is shocked into stunned silence, staring up at Diya with what can only be described as the look of someone who has just realized that they’ve had a crush on their best friend for the past several years. Which is ridiculous, given how obvious it’s been. She should have known sooner. Maybe she would have, if she let her guard down for long enough to actually acknowledge her feelings. Thankfully whatever internalized homophobia she has is a bit offset by her exposure to Akarsha and Min being incredibly open about their own sexualities. But this is Diya. How would she react to this?...
Noelle isn’t sure what to do, so she just stares. Diya stares back at her in silence, the prolonged eye contact mesmerizing, and causing the butterflies in her stomach to flap about with even more ferocity. She could look at her forever maybe, if she had the time, or the audacity. Her face feels like it’s on fire. And there is so much unspoken feelings and thoughts and desires that Noelle can’t even begin to try to sort them out, especially not with her best friend dipping her with her face 3 inches away from Noelle’s own.
The silence is making Diya nervous. She bites her lip, and before Noelle can say anything, she is gently lowered to the ground by Diya and let go. She hears her say something like “I’ve got to go,” just as the song ends, and Noelle immediately scrambled to get up, desperate to catch Diya before she runs away.
But Diya is already out the door and thundering down the stairs. The signature creak of the front door opening and closing with a small slam tells Noelle all she needs to know.
“Diya! Diya, wait!-“
Noelle makes an attempt to call her back, but it’s already too late. She grabs her phone, and rushes down the stairs as well, running after her best friend with as much speed as her extremely unathletic body can manage.
She can just barely see Diya hurtling down the street at full-speed. She doesn’t want to disturb her neighbors, but finds herself yelling anyways, although it’s quite fruitless as Diya is much faster than the average high schooler, and Noelle is already out of breath by the time she’s halfway down the street. Apparently joining the baseball team wasn’t helping in that regard.
She gets out her phone, and powers it on, deciding to text Akarsha. Whether she’ll be helpful in this situation is highly skewed towards “no”, but it’s worth a shot, and Noelle needs someone to talk to while she walks down the street and waits for her best friend to come back. She’s used to Diya running away in stressful situations, but most of the time it has nothing to do with her. She’s preparing a speech in her head about how she never meant to give off the impression that she disliked the act of Diya dipping her, but she’s not even sure Diya’s going to talk to her when and if she gets back.
Noelle: Akarsha, I may be in need of assistance.
Akarsha replies almost instantly, thankfully enough.
Albret Einstrong: ohoho??? the Frenchman herself in need of help? surprised u would admit that, good job, you’re makin progress
Albret Einstrong: did u accidentally wack someone with a baguette or something?
Noelle: Akarsha, this is serious.
Noelle: And for the last time, I’m not French.
Albret Einstrong: alrighty then
Albret Einstrong: clue me in
Noelle: Diya ran away because of me, and I want to be prepared for when she comes back. However, I’m not sure if she’ll even talk to me since I’m worried that she’s mad at me, or that she thinks that I’m mad at her or that she did something to make me upset.
Albret Einstrong: woah woah woah
Albret Einstrong: slow down
Albret Einstrong: you???? making diya upset??? what even happened????? this is like the breakup of the century
Noelle: THIS IS NOT A BREAKUP.
Noelle sincerely hopes it isn’t at least. She looks around, and heads in the direction of the school. She’s likely to be at the track if she’s intending to get her nervous energy out.
She feels an embarrassing blush arise as she attempts to explain the previous events to Akarsha. She is very aware that dancing with Diya in the middle of her bedroom is not something she does very often.
Noelle: We were dancing and she decided to dip me as a surprise. The look on my face must have made her think something was wrong, or she simply got so nervous that she decided to run away. Or perhaps she’s upset at me for some other reason.
Albret Einstrong: you were w h a t
Albret Einstrong: dude i doubt that she’s upset at you for something else- that’s not a very diya thing to do, you’re just worrying too much
Albret Einstrong: what look did you have on your face??? Were you mad at her???
Noelle: Of course I wasn’t mad at her. That’s ridiculous.
Diya’s nearly impossible to get mad at anyways.
Albret Einstrong: then what look did you have on your face?? Hm??? Ur avoiding the question Frenchie
Noelle sighs, and weighs her options, while walking briskly across the street and onto the school campus. There’s still no sign of Diya anywhere, which doesn’t help the curling tendril of anxiety in her stomach that’s been steadily building for the past 10 minutes.
On one hand, Akarsha is not the type of person to keep quiet about certain things. She’d tease her relentlessly if she knew what was going on inside her head. Noelle could say she had a “surprised” look, but it wouldn’t give the full picture. Not nearly. It wouldn’t be helpful.
On the other hand, with Akarsha’s incredibly obvious crush on Min-Seo, and the fact that she’ll make puns about her sexuality at any given moment, it’s not like she’d judge Noelle for coming out to her. Maybe it’s a little too soon to put a label on herself given that she only realized the truth about her sexuality 15 minutes ago, but she’s never liked any boys, that’s for sure. And, if needed, Noelle can always threaten Akarsha with the previously mentioned crush on Min-Seo if she makes an attempt to tell Diya. And for what it’s worth, maybe it’s better to have someone to talk about it to instead of keeping it secret.
Noelle rolls her eyes and makes her decision.
Noelle: Whatever face you would make when you realize that you’re gay, apparently.
Noelle: I’m not sure how Diya interpreted it.
Albret Einstrong: KSCZjzbzjdusuatUzh
Albret Einstrong: FINALLY
Albret Einstrong: EVERYONE KNEW EXCEPT YOU
Noelle: Excuse me??
Albret Einstrong: dude your crush on diya is so obvious I can’t belive you didn’t know
Albret Einstrong: you’re always staring at her and blushing and being all “this is unnecessary!!!” whenever she tries to help you both because you think you can do everything on your own and you’re flustered
Noelle: THIS ISN’T HELPFUL.
Noelle: WHAT DO I SAY TO HER.
Albret Einstrong: “Diya I am so sorry that I made you nervous, you are simply a goddess on earth and I could not handle your beautiful presence.”
Noelle: Akarsha.
Albret Einstrong: no but seriously
Albret Einstrong: just apologize to her or explain that she didn’t do anything wrong
Albret Einstrong: it’ll be okay dude
Noelle: Okay.
Noelle: Thank you.
Albret Einstrong: 👍
Noelle has left the chatroom.
Noelle takes a deep breath, and puts away her phone.
She can just barely see a figure on the track off in the distance, wearing what looks to be a light blue sweatshirt. She breaks into a sprint, and waits until she gets close enough to Diya to yell for her, so that she can hear.
“DIYA!!”
Diya freezes, and stops running. She starts catching her breath, but still looks like she could start running at any second now as Noelle hurriedly goes up to her, wheezing.
“Diya, I’m sorry-“ Noelle says, in between heaving breaths. It’s ridiculous how out of shape she is. Maybe she should start listening to Diya’s advice on exercising for once. “I didn’t mean to give the impression that I was upset at you for doing that- I was just surprised, that’s all-“
“No, it wasn’t you-“ Diya replies, shaking her hands back and forth, and avoiding Noelle’s gaze. “I got anxious because of something, and I ran away because I didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t you.”
“Are you sure?”
Diya nods, continuing to shake her hands. She does that when she can’t run or get nervous energy out any other way.
“So… what was the thing you got anxious about? You can tell me,” Noelle asks, stepping closer to Diya. However, upon seeing the panicked look on her face, she steps back, and redefines her question. “... when you’re ready. If you want to. It might help to talk about it.”
“It’s not the kind of thing where talking about it is supposed to help.” Diya smiles nervously. “But that’s okay. I’ll tell you when I’ve figured out how to.”
When I’ve figured out how to?...
That’s an interesting way to put it.
But either way, Noelle opens her arms slightly for a hug and Diya gratefully accepts. Her hugs are always warm, and tight, and give off the impression of a bear hug, but they’re not suffocating or overwhelming. And they always last long too. The two of them stand there for about two minutes in a comfortable silence before Diya finally lets go.
“...Thank you for dancing with me by the way,” she notes, glancing off to the side and keeping one hand on the side of Noelle’s arm. Noelle is very aware of this, as she always has. “It was fun. Also, sorry again for running away.”
“It’s okay Diya.” Noelle looks up and smiles a little as she sees Diya look back and return it. “It was fun for me as well.”
A couple more seconds pass in a semi-awkward silence, before Noelle decides to do something a little daring.
She takes Diya’s hand and attempts to twirl her. It’s a little difficult given that Diya is taller than her, but Diya gets the message and goes with it, laughing a little. All earlier tension from the misunderstanding that happened earlier seems to evaporate.
Diya intertwines her and Noelle’s hands together, which takes Noelle by surprise. She feels herself blush again. But it’s alright. Without having to say a word, the two of them walk back home to Diya’s house, hand in hand.
——
Albret Einstrong: Noelle???
Albret Einstrong: homie????
Albret Einstrong: how’d it go???
Albret Einstrong: h e l l o ?
Albret Einstrong: u can’t just ignore me I need answers
Albret Einstrong: frenchmannnnnnnn
Noelle: For God’s sake, please stop “blowing up” my phone with your ridiculous texts. I can assure you that I will reply to them eventually.
Noelle: And it went well. Thank you for your advice.
Albret Einstrong: aha! The great ookooshoob triumphs once again
Albret Einstrong: so are u and diya dating now or what
Albret Einstrong: bc u deserve to
Noelle: Of course we’re not dating. What kind of nonsense is that?
Noelle: Nothing happened. We simply apologized to eachother, hugged, and walked back home together while holding hands. I’m not sure why you expected us to start dating. I’m not even sure if Diya reciprocates my feelings. If she doesn’t, then that’s okay by me, because I respect her boundaries, and would not make her feel bad for not having feelings that she cannot control in the first place.
Albret Einstrong: … damn that’s some emotional maturity
Noelle: Anyways, if you continue to insinuate things between me and Diya, I am well aware of your crush on Min-Seo, and I will hold it over your head.
Albret Einstrong: lies
Albret Einstrong: false
Albret Einstrong: completely untrue
Albret Einstrong: I do not think Min is hot at all
Albret Einstrong: I have no idea where you got the impression that I have a crush on her i’m appalled
Noelle: Oh really ?
Albret Einstrong: ….
Albret Einstrong: ….
Albret Einstrong: …..OKAY YOU GOT ME
Albret Einstrong: i can’t believe you would do this to me frenchie what happened to our truce
Noelle: The only truce here is that if you tease me, I’ll tease you.
Noelle: Goodnight Akarsha.
Noelle: ...And good luck convincing Min that those flowers you placed in her locker at the end of school today weren’t from you.
Albret Einstrong has left the chatroom.