Chapter Text
“Excuse me, you’re Kocho’s Tsuguko right? Is Tanjiro still here?” Muichiro asks upon stepping into the Butterfly estate that particular day, he’s cleared some time off his afternoon training time thinking of giving Tanjiro a visit.
Honestly, the boy has been running in his mind recently, bursting into his thoughts at random times of the day. Muichiro can’t deny he does miss having the older boy around, hearing his bright voice and bubbly laughter even as he trains.
The girl in front of him steps back with a startled, pupils shaking as she tries to form the right words. “Um….” her hands fiddling around the hem of her pockets, seemingly trying to grab something that isn’t there.
Muichiro’s face slowly frowning, getting impatient. He asks “Can you point to where he is for me?”
“N-no....? I… he…. no Kamado isn’t… here” she stammers out, he questions her weird behavior.
Muichiro has seen her in action quite a few times himself, he knows she’s far above than the average slayer, more so being a pillar’s successor. Shinobu’s to be exact, a pillar whose caliber he greatly respects.
Yet here she is, fumbling almost panickily to converse with him, don’t get him wrong he has no tact for social cues either but at least he can talk, which apparently what this girl struggles to do.
Muichiro is about to walk off and find Shinobu himself, and maybe ask what’s up with her tsukugo while he’s at it, or did he already know? The boy racked his brain for any possible memory, hard to do when all he remembers clearly is a goofy smile on a certain burgundy haired slayer.
His amnesiac memory has gotten a bit better after gaining back his childhood memories before becoming a demon slayer, but he often still finds himself forgetting things.
“Oh Tokito, are you looking for someone?” another girl pops by, her hand holding a basket of white sheets. She wears her raven hair in twin tails clipped by blue butterfly pins and her gaze stern even as she looks at him, a pillar.
Muichiro thankfully recognizes her, she’s often the one treating his wounds since the other Kakushi or Butterfly girls don’t dare go near him, “Yes, is Kamado Tanjiro still residing here?”
The girl, he totally forgot her name, gives him a questioning look at his inquiry, “He is but he’s not present at the moment, you might find him with the water pillar at is estate” her eyes narrow suspiciously at him but Muichiro pays him no mind.
Hearing her, he can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment, “Oh I see, thank you” the mist pillar sighs, although he might be unaware that his lips are pouting.
‘He’s gone to see Tomioka? But I even cleared a time slot today to come visit…… ‘
He had been really looking forward to seeing Tanjiro again, and as much as Muichiro knows the other doesn’t owe him not even a second of his time, he still wishes he was here. So if he feels a bit salty about this then who can fault him?
The mist pillar is about to make his leave, but stops when Kanao suddenly calls out to him “Wait!” the girl sputters out, she looks determined for some reason, "I can…. go…. get him…. if you want"
As nice as that would be, Muichiro has no intention of bothering Tanjiro if he isn’t available, he wouldn’t want to be a bother.
He wants his attention yes, but geez, he’s not that desperate……. yet.
Besides, Muichiro doesn’t want to appear clingy or annoying which might scare away the older boy (But that thunder breath user had been so clingy to him last he saw them together, how unfair is that?! Does he not mind….?), Tanjiro would eventually need to be at the mist estate for his pillar training anyway.
He can have his undivided attention then, Muichiro has to momentarily shake his head and scoff at himself.
What’s up with him all of a sudden?
"That's okay, I'll take my leave" not knowing his cheeks are dusting with pink hues and his chest is blooming with warmth.
Kanao and Aoi watch as the pillar’s retreating figure vanishes from their sight, of course both notice how oddly he reacted but don’t know what to even go about it. Aoi huffs and shakes her head, she has an inkling feeling of what it was but she knows that’s not her business to meddle in.
The older girl continues with her chores while Kanao remains still, not knowing if she made the right choice.
The thing is, while Tanjiro never requested or instructed her anything, he did show a lot of interest in knowing the youngest pillar’s whereabouts or instances if he were to come visit. There’s a special way his eyes sparkle when Muichiro is in the conversation, one that feels so much more than the regular fondness he has with his friends.
Kanao doesn’t understand it herself but she knows there’s something deeper that runs between the two, and Tanjiro being her first true friend that she can talk to without flipping coins, she wants to do him a favor too for helping her.
"Hi Kanao, what's up?" Tanjiro greets her when she sat down next to him, he had just got back from the water pillar estate after finally convincing Giyuu to participate in the pillar training which went far better than easier than he anticipated.
The girl warily looks at him, struggling to form her words.
They made some progress and Tanjiro is already proud of her for coming to him without needing to use her coin to decide, he patiently waits as the girl takes a deep shaky breath and speaks "Tokito…. was looking... for you…. hours ago,"
That certainly is a surprise, Tanjiro tilts his head with confusion as to why the mist pillar would be looking for him as he recalls all pillars must be busy with their training. He doesn't remember setting up or promising a meeting either but something about the younger boy looking for him out brings a wash of warmth in his chest.
"Oh he was? Do you know why?" Now he feels sort of bad for not being here, knowing full well if Muichiro had come, he must’ve tweaked his schedule for it somehow.
‘All that trouble to come see me?’ he can’t help the red blooming on his cheeks.
Kanao shakes her head, pausing for a second before continuing "He... didn't say…. but he looked…. disappointed?" she can’t really tell what emotion it was that was painted on his face, not really familiar with emotions herself but that’s her best guest.
She has good eyes, and almost nothing misses her sight. Which means she saw how Muichiro’s shoulders slumped, the exact moment his lips curve inwards with a frown, the sigh he let out and the drag in his footsteps when he walks away.
(Just as how she’s seeing the boy in front of her fidgeting as they talk, hands fiddling with his fingers and traces of red on his cheeks to pair with that brightness in his eyes.)
Kanao isn’t familiar with emotions, but Muichiro looked……. sad, but not quite sad. And she hopes her judgement isn’t wrong, Tanjiro is one of her close precious friends who was actually able to help her break out of her shell, she rather not disappoints him.
Tanjiro nods at her explanation, the boy takes a deep breath with his eyes closed and when they snap open, his orbs shine with sheer determination. Oh wait, this wasn’t the plan.
"I shall go find him then!" jumping up to his feet he jogs back to his room to fetch a haori to wear over the yukata he's wearing and marches off to the front gas of the butterfly estate.
All the while Kanao flusteredly trails after him, he is still a recovering patient and he just returned from his trip to the water pillar estate too, "But your injuries…...Master Kocho would be—" her remarks falls on deaf ears.
The boy managed to slip past her before she could even begin to do anything, and that’s a first because she is fast, "I'll be quick! She won't even notice I'm gone" she watches with a sigh as Tanjiro’s figure takes off from the gates.
"Tanjiro!" her voice calls out exasperatedly but doesn’t go after him.
She can’t help the smile that curves on her lips, watching him like that, so lively for someone, its aweing. A warm feeling in her chest that she’ll later learn is called fond.
The sky is slowly fading into orange, Tanjiro’s lips puff out small bursts of air as he sprints, the mist pillar estate isn’t too far away and he should be able to reach it before dawn truly comes. Truthfully, he’s yet to see the place, the boy is all but reliant on the signs and directions because he had foolishly forgotten that he has no idea what the estate even looks like.
But once the gate of the estate courtyard is in sight along with the symbol of mist, he knows he’s not lost, stepping into the courtyard he could see the many shoes littered at the entrance and the small groups of slayers sparring in the open space.
While the day is getting late, it seems Muichiro hasn't let them off the hook yet. There are no familiar faces in the mass, even the mist pillar himself is nowhere to be seen. A few eyes stray towards Tanjiro, the questioning gaze they sent him makes him sheepishly smile back.
He’s not wearing the standard uniform thus can’t blame their confusion, but the many eyes on him is making him feel queasy to enter the estate mansion, he’s been far too accustomed to having someone familiar by his side at all times (Courtesy of his demon turned sister and Zenitsu’s unconditional clinginess) that the sea of unknown faces is starting to trip his nerves.
He’s not cleared for the training yet, so whether or not he’s allowed on these grounds is unknown even to him.
"Tanjiro?"
The boy releases a breath of relief at the familiar voice and the scent that accompanies it, his head whips towards the source to see Muichiro with his eyes round with surprise looking at him from the mansion door he must’ve come from.
He is in his usual uniform but his hair is pulled back today into a low ponytail, the thin sheen of sweat shows he must’ve been training inside in the indoor dojo before stepping out.
But that shocked look quickly morphs into a bright smile, he almost skips in his step while making over to his sudden guest. The other slayers in the vicinity followed his every movement with faces colored in different stages of astonishment.
All of them wondering who the heck is this guy and how does his mere presence could make the mist pillar beam so cheerfully in contrast to the scowls and disgusted judging glares they’ve been receiving throughout their training sessions.
"Hi Muichiro, I hope I'm not intruding?" the elder of the two remarks, hands scratching his nape. Muichiro is looking up to him with so much excitement in those eyes, he could very much smell the happiness on the other boy but it doesn’t take strong senses to tell how happy he looked.
A few eyes widen at the first name basis, some begin to murmur and whisper about him.
"No, you weren't!”
The mist pillar then turns his head towards their audience, face instantly in a sneer “You’re all dismissed, now scram" the bark of demand has all of them scrambling away, they are thankful anyway since the training was as strenuous as it could get.
The beaming smile returns when he faces Tanjiro again, somehow the idea that he came over to look for him sends an unfamiliar rush all over his body that feels like jolts of electricity.
He doesn’t truly understand it, but he’s just so happy that Tanjiro came especially when the other wasn’t around when he went to visit.
"What brings you here?" He leads Tanjiro over to sit at the open deck in front of a small Koi Pond Garden. "Kanao told me you were looking for me, is there something wrong?" Muichiro’s chest tightens for some reason, yet it doesn’t feel like a bad thing.
"Oh…. no nothing like that it's just, I haven't seen you in a while so I thought…... I might come visit" longing is an odd feeling for the mist pillar, for a while he’s grown distant from knowing what it's like to have something or someone to return to, to miss.
But in those days, he does miss the older boy. He chalks it up to the fact Tanjiro being one of the very handful people (or the only the person quite literally) that he’s able to form a close bond with.
Naturally he’s supposed to miss a newfound comfort right? Or at least, that’s what the pillar told himself. Feelings are complex and he’s gone a bit too long not dealing or acknowledging them that reconnecting with them feels like a blur and a headache to complicate it more than it already is.
"Wah, you missed me Muichiro?" The teasing tone catches him off guard, it’s light and completely harmless yet Muichiro feels that tightening feeling again in his gut now with the upgrade that his face feels oddly warm.
Something in his gut tells him to deny it, push such idea away "Well…... yes, I sort of do…... miss you" But Muichiro is nothing if not honest and the way the other boy’s cheeks flushes pink that must have resembled his own red face is worth the admittance.
Tanjiro quickly shakes his head, it has Muichiro wondering if the elder feels this burning sensation on his face as well, "That's cool! I…...I honestly missed you too. In fact, do you want to go eat soba tomorrow?"
The burn feels tenfold harder, and his throat is starting to work against him. Muichiro spends the next few seconds recollecting his thoughts which he hadn’t realized is in disarray, it makes him feel alarmed to an extent since as slayers they must be aware at all times yet all he could think of as of that moment is that boy in front of him.
His kind smile, the nervousness in his voice and his fidgeting hands that slowly rests a touch away from his own. The pieces of emotions from the day lamenting that he couldn’t meet Tanjiro, the sourness he suddenly harbors for the water pillar because he wanted to spend the afternoon with the boy.
He thought of the elated rush at seeing Tanjiro popping by, and now that same cute boy who’s been occupying his mind as of lately is asking him out to eat soba with him?
‘Cute? Well…. He is cute…... and unfairly handsome despite that scar……’ the thought process almost has him blanching, what the heck is going on with him? Muichiro slowly nods, mustering up whatever willpower he’s spared with to answer Tanjiro.
"Oh sure, just us two…?"
For reasons he can’t explain because he doesn’t do well with feelings, he really hoped it’s just the two of them together.
"Tomioka will be with us!"
And that sourness returns to churn in his stomach, the difference is that this time, it’s tenfold stronger with a dash of spite, or pettiness, whichever it is Muichiro can’t really tell.
"I see…… very well then" the mist pillar never really tries to understand why the other seems to detest the water pillar, Giyuu is a neutral ground for him since there’s no reason for him to be bothered with the guy.
Until now that is, Muichiro is all for the water pillar’s slander now, he’ll maybe even ask Shinobu for some advice on how to spite the man.
They continue to talk, the topic going from training to the different kinds of demons they’ve encountered, but as the conversation drones on Muichiro notices Tanjiro’s frown.
The boy is looking down at him with growing concern, his calloused hand suddenly gently cupping Muichiro’s cheeks with his thumb brushing the area below his eyelids with care "Have you been sleeping well? Those eyebags look awful"
Despite such rough hands, his touch is gentle. Muichiro felt the heat rush back at the skin contact but it abruptly simmered down when the words processed in his head. It’s not a surprise to him that the elder noticed just as it wasn’t surprising when he found out it's harder to fall asleep when there’s no comforting presence to chase away his nightmares.
"I'm……. I've been coping" If coping meant tiring himself out with training so he could all but collapse from exhaustion in order to avoid having nightmares then yeah, he is coping.
Sometimes on days he’ll jolt awake in some ungodly hour of the night, he’ll hear faint whispers of the slayers training with him from the walls, some commenting how hard he is pushing them, how his methods are straining them more than helping or plain complaints that it was too rigorous, all the while not knowing there’s a hidden motive to the harsh regimens.
Only a small part of him felt bad for using them to assist with his sleeping problem.
Just a bit.
Because these guys are far too lacking in every department possible that he wonders how they’re still alive at times so he considers himself a necessary evil to make sure they have a higher survival rate. They can’t really complain when they themselves can see the slight improvements in their techniques.
"If you say so, if there's anything at all I can help with just send a crow over." Again, Tanjiro’s kindness could have him weeping from how precious the elder boy makes him feel, his hand still cupping Muichiro’s cheeks
And he can’t stop himself from placing his own hand over the elder’s, a grateful smile resting on his lips from the warmth "This is more than enough help, thank you Tanjiro"
Tanjiro’s cheeks dusted pink but doesn’t pull away his hand, "You should smile more, it looks pretty on you" he comments, but his eyes widen seconds later and begins to stutter out incoherent jargon from being flustered.
Muichiro eyes his lap, and in a voice so small and softer than he ever thought he could use, he replies, "I'll…...be sure to take note of that"
“Are you going to go back now? It’s dark….” he eyes the path that grows darker with each second, technically even if a demon did show up it wouldn’t be a trouble for Tanjiro, he knows the elder is capable.
But one can’t help but still worry, Tanjiro however chuckles at his worry, hands clutched with a spare Nichirin blade that Muichiro gave him. “I’ll be fine” because they aren’t expecting any twelve kizuki demons to appear in these areas so it should be alright.
“Really?” The younger of the two doesn’t want to sound like he’s doubting the other, but he finally found someone like Tanjiro, someone he can find comfort in that’s akin to a long-lost home.
Muichiro can’t help but feel scared, terrified that as soon as Tanjiro disappeared into the night he would be gone forever, but the boy stood there, assuring as always and softly pats his head.
“Yeah, don’t worry” he grabs the hand that pulls away.
Muichiro tries to keep his hands from visibly trembling, firmly he yanks Tanjiro with him, “You can stay here for the night” he all but declares, not letting the other even try to protest.
Dragged by the smaller boy, Tanjiro doesn’t put up a fight and resigns to his fate, “Oh, that’s nice of you Muichiro, thank you” his cheeks dusting pink.
“It’s no trouble” the younger boy chirps out, but even he could hardly hide the fact he’s just as flustered from how bold he must’ve sounded “Come, I’ll show you where you’ll sleep, you can sleep in my room”
Muichiro is sure that if that friend of Tanjiro that has great hearing was here he’d probably be called out with his heart beating so rapidly, “I mean, the… the rooms the others are using are probably stuffy…… I’ll have a spare futon prepared for you”
The very thought of them sleeping together makes him feel all sorts of fuzzy things.
Nevertheless, he feels Tanjiro taking his hand, squeezing it with a small “Thank you”
Muichiro decides he’s either going to sleep really well or not at all.
The darkness has long covered the room except for the small lantern in the corner, two boys are tucked in their respective futon, both trying to sleep after an exchange of ‘Good night’ yet neither are nowhere near slumber.
They’re situated next to each other but aren’t really facing each other, Muichiro is very tempted to roll over to the other side, maybe he could see what the older boy looks like when he sleeps. He remembers distinctively from his previous escapades at the Butterfly Estate, Tanjiro always looks so peaceful when he sleeps.
So pretty-
‘Mui stop it, he’s literally right there!’ the boy scolds himself halfway through the thought, feeling bashful he curls up deeper as if fearing the boy next to him would notice just how badly he wants to watch him sleep and hold his hand again-
‘Bad Mui, that’s creepy no’ he grumbles in his head, but can’t deny that he does want to.
“You’re awake, aren’t you?”
‘Oh shit’
The mist pillar stiffens, not knowing how to react until he hears a faint chuckle from the other side of his futon, with a reddening face he turns around to come face to face with Tanjiro’s grin, the older boy’s burgundy hair messy and tangled draping across his face.
The sight is marvelous and Muichiro is sure for a few brief seconds, he stopped breathing.
“You are too” he tries to say, his lips pouting against his will as he does. Tanjiro then giggled at him and if he wasn’t red enough in the face before, he is now.
“Tanjiro!”
The air between them feels comfortable, for once neither did not have to think about the next threat, the next highly powered demon they’ll need to defeat. For now, in the dark room dimly illuminated by a single lantern, they’re just two boys with unsaid feelings for one another.
Tanjiro watches as the pillar next to him scrunches his nose and pout, strands of his silky hair brushing his cheeks with each movement. He’s never known how someone can be so endearing to him, pillars intimidated him yet Muichiro is warm.
“Sorry it’s just that…... you are so cute Mui” he comments bluntly, the sweet smell lingers in the room, he likes it and it’s always attached to the other boy. Love smells wonderful, very addictively sweet when it mixes with Muichiro’s usual scent.
It really has Tanjiro forgetting this same boy came out of his Final Selection alive at 12 years of age, he heard Aoi once comment about it. She had been in the very same Final Selection and was saved by Muichiro once during it.
“You...you can’t say things like that!” In times like this, he sees a cute boy who turns into a blushing mess with his teasing.
And Tanjiro isn’t really one to tease someone like this yet it’s satisfying to see the usually calm and collected male crumble with a few words, “Why not?” he edges on.
“I…. hey stop teasing me….” he gets a whine, and decides maybe that’s enough of that for the night.
Another wave of silence greets them, two pairs of eyes simply staring into each other’s. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. They share soft smiles, enjoying the peace offered by the night.
Tanjiro can see the other is tired, he had been training after all yet the boy looks hesitant to sleep, he has a good idea why “You still have nightmares don’t you?”
Muichiro’s eyes widen, Tanjiro winces at the flinch that came with it and the guilty face he wears right after, “I can smell you were lying back then, you aren’t coping well” he continues to say and Muichiro frowns harder.
“I’m trying” he sputters out, but he sounds so unsure it’s as if he was trying to convince himself rather than Tanjiro, the boy rolls over to his other side, refusing to face the elder.
And this won’t do, Muichiro works too hard to lose sleep.
The elder of the two knows he’s struggling, hurting, they all are. Tanjiro has nightmares too, of the demons, the people he was too late to save, the slayers from the mountain who begged to be killed and then died with their heads twisted.
Those were the worst, he knows how haunting sleep can be, it’s probably why most slayers prefer to sleep during the day, where it’s safer, and demons won’t be able to attack them or anyone else.
He doesn’t know what kind of horrors that Muichiro has to face when he closes his eyes, but Tanjiro remembers the days he lay unconscious and the serene smell belonging to the boy who seems to always linger near him at night.
He often wonders, does Muichiro know how comforting that was for him as much as it is for the boy himself?
“Is there anything I can do to help? Please Mui?” he asks, voice soft with a plea.
There’s a beat, and another, he hears rustling of the futon sheets and a pair of glassy aquas greets him, “Can you…… hold my hand?” his request comes, timid with hesitation.
Tanjiro feels a sudden urge to pull him over to hug the boy, he doesn’t care if Muichiro is the fair, stronger and superior slayer between them, he wants nothing more than to keep this boy he comes to love safe, and where else if not in his arms?
But Muichiro looks spooked, too spooked for such strong gestures so instead he stuck his hand out for the long-haired boy to take, “Of course” never losing eye contact, he feels a smaller yet firm hand takes it.
With their hands locked together between them, the silence welcomes them once more but this time with added warmth. Tanjiro can feel Muichiro slowly calming down from the tension, slowly letting his eyelids droop shut.
“This is nice….” he managed to mutter before going out like light, hands still secured in Tanjiro’s if not squeezed slightly tighter. Seeing him, eyes closed, breathing evenly as he sleeps, lets Tanjiro have his own peace of mind.
He really likes the sight, and he wishes so badly to see him as peaceful he is now in more nights to come.
“Goodnight Mui” the burgundy haired boy whispers, his own tiredness catching up to him and lulling him to sleep.
Even as time tick through the night, the two hands firmly clasp together, never letting go.