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Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
The rap of Khun’s steps echo through the fading twilight. Too loud for his ears and yet the familiar beat is not enough to calm the surging wave of his ever growing fears.
He marches through the Wolhaiksong resort. A turn into a smaller corridor. A jangling of keys. He closes the door behind him wanting nothing but peace. But a demon in his head is having an insane ball. It titters and it snickers, making his skin crawl.
You're hopeless.
Jealousy is the name of that ugly demon, it’s voice a dirty mockery of logic and reason.
Khun winces. He didn’t mean for it to wake, sensing something incredibly juicy and important at stake. Unforgivably hungry, it pokes and twists a crooked finger in his gut. Of course, it fully intends to be mean. A hideous grin drags its pallid lips and venom drips from its yellowed teeth, a nasty putrid green, green, green.
Because Bam is on a date. A date of all things. Dragged by that irksome princess like he’s just one of her flings.
How dare she! Unforgivable! Bam is a gem, dazzling and untouchable. How dare she pull Bam around? When it was Khun who worked so hard to bring him back when he was found?
He calls up his Pocket. It’s only 6 p.m. Hell, most dates don’t end until after sunset. Did they watch the dazzling sky as it put on a spectacular show, changing from one warm color to another and ending in a brilliant glow? They might even opt to have dinner at the restaurant by the river. Khun dismisses his Pocket, grumbling, an irritable shiver.
Khun stops in his tracks. Jealous? Who’s jealous? Certainly not he. Does he feel threatened? How can he? Bam’s not his. He is free. To go out with who he wants. To do what he likes. To stay out at night even after the clock’s twelve strikes.
It is true that he cherishes their connection. It is true he helplessly turns to his direction. So if he thinks for a moment that he doesn’t like him then that’s an absolute lie. Khun drops on his bed with a very deep sigh.
Is he worried that Endorsi would steal Bam just like the gator said?
Would he rather be on that date with him instead of on this bed?
Khun shakes his head vehemently. A bitter laugh bubbles in his throat and the demon within him swells. It is an all consuming fire burning every inch of his being. It’s a monstrous conflagration that curls around all vestiges of his reason, around every feeling that is good. Even those fluttery ones that he barely understood. Until they're smothered in flames and reduced to ash. Leaving him feeling like the lowest of trash. Just a nasty ball of barbed wire and broken glass, a hopeless feeling of resentment that he knows not how to pass. And so it digs into his lungs, ripping him wide open, drowning him in his own blood, in despondent desperation. Oh, how he wishes there is such a thing as oblivion.
I'm just a friend. Who am I to impose on him at all?
He forces himself up. Changes into more comfortable clothes. Just some shorts and a loose white tee. Trying to shut his ears as the demon roars with glee. This bed is the most comfortable he’s had since he gave up his old team’s bunker. He doesn’t even bother about dinner. Being around other people is the last thing he wants for the moment. Instead, he pulls a book out of his lighthouse for amusement. And there isn’t anything particularly important to take care of tomorrow. This is an ultra rare chance to sleep in and wallow in all his sorrow.
He checks the time.
Oh, please. Can you cut him some slack? He’s a grown man and not as dumb as Rak.
He falls asleep.
“Khun, let me in before I break down this door!”
His eyes snap open. The room’s a pitch black. He ambles to the door and opens it a crack.
“Sorry, didn’t realize I fell asleep.”
“You look worn out,” Bam frowns at him worriedly.
“I just woke up a second ago.”
Bam wants to scold him but he sighs fondly instead. “I brought you food.”
“Thanks,” Khun grabs the tray but Bam isn’t letting go. He raises his brows in question.
“I brought my dinner, too. Mind if I eat here?”
Khun finally moves aside to let Bam in.
They sit on the floor. Just inside the door. And for a while it is quiet.
Then, Bam says, “I missed you.”
“Likewise.” It comes out cold. And Khun keeps his face carefully blank. Expressionless as a sneaky bastard like him should be.
“Khun, did I do something wrong?”
“No. You didn’t. It’s late. You had a busy day. Finish your food and get some rest.”
“Aren’t you going to ask?”
“About what?”
“About the date with Endorsi?”
“Should I?”
“I didn’t even realize it was a date until she told me.”
“Is that so? Anything interesting happen?”
“Well, we watched a movie. I was surprised by how big the screen was though the show was just so-so. We had lunch but then she suddenly dragged me off somewhere else on the Bong-bong. She said she wanted to go where there weren’t any other people. We ended up in a small park.”
“Oh.” Khun supposes he should say something encouraging but that’s all he had within him to spare. Then again, when has life ever been fair?
“And then she put her lips on my cheek. Right here.” Bam points as he looks at Khun curiously. “She called it a kiss. Said it was a service. It seems like she meant it to be something more. Should it?” Bam stares at him, wide-eyed, almost teasing. Is he?
“I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t there. A kiss could mean something different for different people depending on how and where it’s given.” Khun shrugs, ignoring the sinking feeling that wants to drag him through the floor.
“Such as?”
“A kiss on the hand can be a sign of respect. On the forehead could be given to family or loved ones to offer a sense of comfort. Given on the cheek, it could mean a greeting or …affection. A peck on the lips signals fondness. There are others but these are the most common. No matter what type it is, it increases the feeling of closeness.”
“Khun.”
“Yes?” He turns to the brunet and feels a softness press on his lips. It’s gone before he could blink.
“I heard that you kiss someone you like on the lips.” Bam smiles and it is all gentle curves and bright summer sun, devoid of all wiles.
“Oh.” Once again, Khun loses his capacity for words.
“Khun.”
“Y-yes?”
“Can I do it again?”
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