Work Text:
11 February
Edward,
I’m afraid I haven’t much time to write this. Know that I think of you every day. Thank you for your gift, it has made these long nights less lonely without you. Until I see you again.
X Roy
Ed thumbed the paper idly between his fingers. The ink was smudged and messy. No doubt written in a hurry, as Roy had alluded to. There was little time between docking and casting off to send things like letters.
Reluctantly, he returned it to the box, shoved that back into the wardrobe, and closed the doors soundly.
He turned to stare at the writing desk that had his papers spread out on it. He was supposed to have sent them off a week prior to the National Science Academy, but something just wasn’t quite right about the formulas.
He’d drawn endless diagrams and equations but there was still something missing. He had been granted an extension but his donors were getting restless. He knew he had to give them something to work with but it was difficult. Scientific theory did not just appear. Would that it were so.
He’d been the youngest person to be admitted to the Academy. A child prodigy, they’d called him.
But war did not care about geniuses or prodigies. He’d gotten his conscription letter just like everyone else.
He’d had to leave the dusty halls of the university and traded them in for a soldier’s uniform. Only to trade that uniform for the medal that collected dust in his desk drawer. He’d shoved it there, not wanting to be reminded of what it meant.
What it had cost him.
Weeks being cold and hungry. Days listening to the shelling and gunfire. Nights hearing the moaning of the sick and dying, the rats feeding on their bloated corpses.
The two days before they’d dragged him out of the trench more dead than alive. Sometimes, he wondered if it wouldn’t have been better if he had died in that hell hole.
He couldn’t save any of them. He couldn’t even save himself.
When he’d come home, it was difficult to adjust. He woke screaming in the night more often than not and spent his days wandering around like a ghost.
It made him heartsick to see the way he was frightening his family, so he’d left again. This time offering his services to the intelligence department.
Though he didn’t have his arm or leg, his mind worked just fine. He’d given them several valuable years before they’d told him he’d done enough and he could go home.
A nice pension for his troubles and thank you for your service. He’d used it to buy this place and then covertly put it and the pension under the name of his brother Alphonse, just in case.
It was while he was working in the intelligence department that he’d met Roy Mustang. A man who had a thirst for recklessness himself, having signed up for the Royal Navy. Men who sailed more often than not did not make it back. But Roy had a knack for finding himself out of situations that would have killed ordinary men.
A skill that had earned him quite the reputation and the ear of very powerful men.
Of course, Ed was terrified of his attraction to the other man. He knew very well the consequences of engaging in such a thing. He’d heard whispers and outright slander about men who were not in the least homosexual, but, nevertheless, had gained the ire of their superiors enough to warrant the smearing of their reputation.
He would probably have gone to his grave with them were it not for Roy sliding the letter onto his desk. It was coded, of course. You could never be too careful. Never knew who might be looking for you to slip up.
They exchanged many furtive letters until the dearth of available men had demanded that Roy employ his services elsewhere.
That had been almost two years ago, but Roy was finally coming home this spring.
Ed often wondered if he would still be the same as he remembered. Would he care for Ed once he got to know the person he was outside of pen and thin slips of paper?
He hoped so. He desperately wanted it to be true.
In his absence, Ed had thrown himself into his work with a fanaticism that made Alphonse believe that he could be taking his life seriously for once. Ed had never been able to bring himself to tell Alphonse the truth of his relationship with Roy, though he knew his brother suspected.
He imagined he would have to tell him eventually. If Roy came home then he believed they could live here in isolation and maybe the law wouldn’t be able to keep them apart.
Which, reminded him, the post should’ve been delivered already. It had been nearly three weeks since Roy’s last letter and Ed had grown increasingly restless the longer the next one delayed.
Never mind that it might have been lost in the Atlantic or shredded to bits by a bullet. Maybe even carelessly tossed off the back of a truck as it made its journey to him.
He could only imagine receiving that knock on the door. The quiet whispered words and the unbearable look of sympathy before the courier would tip his hat and be on about his day.
Ed paced the room, unable to will himself to sit back at his desk and fret over the numbers that just weren’t working.
Knowing he wouldn’t be getting anywhere soon, he stomped down the stairs and shouted
“I’m going out!”
“Put on a damn coat!” Pinako, his grandmother in every way except for actual blood. A woman not afraid of the town gossips or that she was doing “men’s work.” Who cursed freely and drank often.
“Yeah, yeah,” He muttered, knowing better than to raise his voice to a volume she could hear or else risk a wrench being thrown at his head.
He slid his coat on and buttoned it against the chill. It was early March still and there was liable to be another frost before what passed for spring would come.
At least there would be less snow. He hated the damn snow. It made where his arm and leg used to be ache and his prosthetics nearly unbearable.
He owed his mobility to Pinako and Winry, his brother’s fiancée. They had come up with a revolutionary new design to attach a false arm and leg that actually let him have some semblance of normalcy. It tended to frighten people though, so he preferred wearing gloves to hide his metal fingers.
He turned the collar of his coat up against the wind and pressed his hat further down on his head, hoping to shield his ears.
It didn’t really work and the tips of his ears were reddened and numb by the time he made it to the post office. He saw several white strips in shadowed windows and tried not to think about what they meant.
Thankfully, he was in and out in less time than usual. Few people were willing to be out in the chill and he was glad for it. Idle conversation was not something he was in the mood for today.
He tucked the few letters into his coat pocket and bundled a parcel for Pinako under his arm.
Despite the cold, it was a pleasant enough day and the sun was making his foul temper a little better. By the time he got back to the house, he thought he might even be able to actually think about work.
But first, he had to know if he had gotten anything from Roy. He stopped in the entryway with the excuse of taking off his outer clothes and flicked through the few letters they’d gotten.
There. The one at the very back. It was faded and he didn’t even want to know what the stains on it were. But it was addressed to him in Roy’s handwriting.
He hastily shoved it into his pocket and made his way to Pinako’s workroom. Spread out on the tabletop was an array of gears, cogs, and wires. It looked as though Dr. Frankenstein had paid them a visit.
Careful to not disrupt what he imagined were detailed schematics, at least in Pinako’s mind, he set the letters on the corner.
She looked up from her work and frowned at him. “I swear if you had done anymore pacing up there you would’ve worn a hole through the damn floor.”
He scowled. “Well, it’s not like there’s anything else better to be doing.”
“You,” She pointed a screwdriver at him, “Chose to live in this backwater with me. You could’ve chosen to go stay with Alphonse.”
“And do what?”
“I don’t know anything better than what you’re doing here.” She sniffed. “What all was in the mail anyway?”
“I don’ know. Nothing important. There’s a package for you.”
“Must be those parts I ordered.”
“Sure,” he tossed out casually, “I’m heading back up.”
“You better be back down for dinner.” She waved her screwdriver at him, never taking her eyes off the metal plate in front of her. “Don’t make me come up there.”
“I won’t.” He promised quickly. Roy’s letter felt like it was burning a hole through his pocket and he felt that he would die if he didn’t read what was written in it.
“Well, go on then.”
Ed took that as permission to finally edge his way out of the room and up the stairs. When he got there, he hastily sat down at his desk and fumbled for the letter opener.
His hands were shaking as he fought to get the letter open, nearly cutting himself in the process.
But finally, he could read what was written in Roy’s neat scrawling hand.
It was dated a week ago, the 1st of March.
Coded of course. It took him longer than he wanted to admit to decode it but when he took a look at his own messy notes and pieced them together he nearly sobbed with relief.
Dearest Edward,
It appears as though the tide of the war is turning. We are nearly victorious and my crew is no longer needed here. We have been remanded back. As soon as I am back in Amestris, my time with the navy will be officially ended. I have dreamt often of you these many long nights and I can scarcely wait to see you once more.
Perhaps these words are too bold to pen in a letter that another may intercept. But I must say them to you at least here until I get the chance to speak them to you myself.
Should I not return, know that I loved you more than life itself. If I have fought in this war, it is not for Amestris, but for the idea that I would one day come home to you. If I shall surrender myself to the sea, please do not waste away for the thought of what could have been.
Your gift gave me the ability to see you once more and I am hopeful it will mean our luck will hold. I love you and it is with this that I hope in a few more days’ time, I will be able to tell you that with my own voice instead of this pen.
Until I see you again.
Yours,
X Roy
Ed clutched the letter tightly, refusing to believe what he was reading. After all this time, all these months and years of waiting could it be?
It seemed foolish to hope but how could he do anything less?
He’d spent the long days and nights re-reading each line in every letter, imagining the words in Roy’s voice. Believing in the certainty of this day, as the nation balanced on a knife’s edge with each missive. No one knowing for certain which way the tides would turn.
But after all they had lost, it seemed that the victory would be theirs. If it could be called a victory. Did anyone really win when it came to war? War was nothing but a monument to man’s own pride and folly.
Edward had decided this well after his own return from the war. Maybe that was why he had retreated to this cold, lonely place.
It had been too much to receive anyone’s admiration for what he had done. He had done what was needed and completed his mission but in the end, he’d still failed. How could he have possibly done all that he could when he had let his own men die?
Truly, even he was not capable of reversing the course of a shell, but it did not mean that the guilt of surviving did not torment him every night since that day.
He’d saved a few, but it was not nearly enough and he was sure he would be rehearsing his answer for that to St. Peter until judgment finally came for him.
But in this, in this at least he could find some type of absolution. It did not matter that the rest of society saw it as abhorrent, loathsome.
Even if he himself sometimes wondered if it were so. The freedom and solace in what he had found with Roy made all of what he had ever been told a lie. It did not matter what anyone else thought or said.
That was how he found himself almost another week later, shivering in the cold on the train platform.
It was almost too convenient that Pinako had elected to visit Alphonse and Winry in Central. Citing that she missed them and wouldn’t Ed enjoy the peace and quiet?
Oh, and wouldn’t he tell his soldier friend hello for her and to excuse her rudeness.
It worried him that Pinako might know the truth of his and Roy’s relationship, but he was certain even if she did, that she would not say a word to anyone.
For that, he was infinitely grateful.
He shivered again and damned the train and its perpetual course of running behind schedule. Stomping his feet, he tried to breathe life back into his limbs and checked his watch again.
Then, he heard it. The scream of a steam whistle and with a sound like rushing wind, the train rolled into the station.
With a great, heavy sigh, it came to a groaning halt. The doors rattled open and then people were pouring off it. Women in their large sun hats, small children’s hands tucked into theirs. Men in tweed suits clutching briefcases and occasionally, a precarious stack of parcels, most likely for the same women who had exited the train ahead of them.
He forced himself to not study each person who stepped off, knowing that Roy would most likely be one of the last people to deboard.
Finally, he heard a call of his name and there he was. Thinner than the last time they’d seen each other but no less handsome than on the day he’d left.
It was cliché but the world around him seemed to slow and fade away as he drank in the man who was walking towards him. He was distantly aware of the whispers that followed Roy as he moved through the small crowd of people.
He longed to run towards him the way he’d seen other couples do, but it was impossible for them. Instead, he pasted on an easy smile and nodded at Roy as he drew nearer.
“Welcome home.”
Roy gave him an equally solemn nod. “It’s good to be home.”
“I called a car.” Ed gestured to the waiting taxi a few feet to their left.
It was maybe the hardest thing he’d ever done to not drag Roy to him. Even if he did smell like he’d been on a train for the last few days.
But instead, he listened idly to the conversation between Roy and their driver, not trusting himself with what would come out of his mouth if he did attempt to speak.
At last, they were pulling up to the house and Ed tipped the man generously in exchange for him not helping take the bags inside.
Then, they were alone. He dragged Roy to him the way he’d wanted to the moment he’d seen him on the platform.
Sweat, dust, and the smell of damp wool invaded his senses. He breathed it in, soaking in the other man’s warmth as strong arms curled themselves around him.
“You are more beautiful than the day I left,” Roy murmured, as he rested his cheek on the top of Ed’s hair.
“I bet you say that to all the boys,” Ed said, hoping that Roy wouldn’t hear the catch in his voice.
“Hmm, only to the boys that will listen.”
Once he was sure he wouldn’t embarrass himself, Ed reluctantly stepped away from the other man and gestured to the stairs.
“The um, the washroom is upstairs if you’d like to freshen up.”
Roy nodded and ascended the stairs. Ed could hear his boot steps and then the muffled sound of doors opening and closing.
He knew that having their own bathroom was a luxury most could not afford, but he’d put it in for Pinako’s comfort. Now, he rued the day he’d decided to pay for the damn thing.
The sound of running water had him imagining things that made his cheeks heat. Was that not too forward? Roy had only just gotten home from his tour. He was undoubtedly tired and would want a warm bed and rest not…that.
Tugging idly on a strand of hair that had escaped his braid, Ed made his way into the kitchen. They had cold stuff in the icebox. That he knew at least.
It would be simple, idle work to throw together sandwiches to keep his hands busy. Plus, that meant the only sound he could hear from upstairs was the sluggish churning of water through the pipes in the walls. It kept the majority of his racier thoughts from emerging.
Digging through the cupboard, he was able to produce two apples that had to have been from the last time they’d visited Central. They were slightly wrinkled, but still edible and he made short work of slicing them into neat pieces.
By the time he was done with that, he felt the warm presence of Roy behind him. Without turning, he gestured at the table.
“I’m just finishing up here.”
“Wow, five-star dining too.” Ed couldn’t help but notice a vague insincerity in Roy’s words.
“What’re you trying to say?” He retorted, gesturing with the knife still in his hand as he whipped around. “Next time you can make your own damn food.”
Roy laughed, backing up far out of Ed’s reach. “I’m only saying that your cooking skills are…exceptional.”
Ed narrowed his eyes at him but said nothing else as he deposited the knife in the sink and brought the plates to the table.
Roy watched him surreptitiously. He had forgotten how much he’d missed Ed’s temper. It was amusing and he never got tired of finding new ways to get a rise out of him. It was never quite the same as in a letter and realistically, there was very little time or room for that kind of thing anyway. It made him feel somewhat more settled to realize that this at least hadn’t changed in the slightest.
Ed, on the other hand, had. Oh, he had always been beautiful but there was something even more enchanting about him now. Maybe he was a love-struck fool, but even the idea of being outed as such did not deter him away from drinking in the sight of his lover.
He’d grown taller and was almost the same height as him. His hair was a tad bit longer but really, it was in the way he held himself. Ed was calmer if that was in any way possible.
“What’re you starin’ at?” Ed asked around a mouthful of his sandwich as he glared up at him balefully.
Roy grinned, not even chagrined at being caught out. “My apologies, it’s just, when I see something admirable, well, I can’t help but stare.”
Ed’s cheeks flushed red and he dropped his gaze to his plate. “You don’t have to feed me those lines. You know I’m a sure thing.”
“That’s where I believe you are wrong,” Roy replied smoothly. “All the more reason to remind you of how beautiful you are to me.”
Ed kicked him lightly underneath the table. “You can knock it off, you know.”
Roy was still grinning as he tucked into his own food.
They were silent as they finished up. Ed snatched up the plates and cleaned them before Roy could even suggest helping.
That was different, too. Normally, Ed would’ve complained until he got someone else, Roy in this case, to do the thing he didn’t want to. Now, it seemed, he was willing to do this for him, no doubt because he imagined that Roy was exhausted from his journey.
Not like that was necessarily wrong. The entire train ride to Resembool, he’d been too anxious for sleeping. Kept awake by the anticipation of seeing Ed again.
Now that he was assured that his lover was safe, that they were together once more, the toll of the last few days was wearing on him.
He yawned and Ed, who was leaning against the counter idly drying his hands, smirked at him.
“Past your bedtime old man?”
Roy was too tired to come up with a good rejoinder to that one. Instead, he yawned again.
What he missed was the way Ed’s smirk coalesced into a fond smile as he walked back to the table. A warm hand on his elbow and then Roy was being led up the stairs and to a darkened room.
He knew it was a guest room judging by the lack of any personal items anywhere within view.
He caught Ed’s hand as he turned to leave. “Can I – is it too much to sleep with you?”
Ed cocked a brow, “I don’t think you’re in any condition for that right now.”
Roy shook his head, “You know what I meant”
Ed grinned and tugged on Roy’s hand. “Just don’t try anything, got it?”
Roy shrugged, knowing that Ed wouldn’t protest even if he did try anything.
This time, the door opened into a room that was most definitely Ed’s. Papers were strewn across a wooden desk shoved underneath a large window on the far side of the room. Notes with figures and equations were carefully pinned on the wall on either side, belying the mess on the desk.
A basket in one corner was overflowing with various articles of clothing. Surprisingly, the rest of the room was fairly neat.
“I’m gonna go freshen up.”
Roy shook his head again, “Stay?”
“Yeah, yeah, okay.”
Roy didn’t bother turning around as Ed unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it to join the other clothes in the hamper. He watched the play of muscles underneath Ed’s skin as he worked on his belt, then finally tore his eyes away.
It was like opening a present a day too early. He wanted to wait to see what Ed looked like until they could take their time to explore each other. Right now, the only thing he would be up for was sleeping.
He stripped to his briefs and slid into the side of the bed closest to the door. Ed wordlessly slid in beside him.
Roy reached out, pulling Edward to him, with a surprisingly minimal amount of protest, he arranged their limbs until they were both comfortable.
Like this, he could believe he was safe. There was not the constant rocking of a boat or the distant echo of the watchman calling the hour. Nor the rush of fear and adrenaline of being woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of gunfire and the sharp scent of smoke.
No, there was only the smell of clean sheets, soap, and the sweet scent of Ed’s skin.
He closed his eyes and for the first time in two years, felt entirely safe as he drifted to sleep.
Ed woke the next morning, momentarily confused by the press of a warm body along his. Then, the events of the day before came rushing back.
Once he knew the identity of the person behind him, he was comfortable enough to close his eyes and let his hand drift lower to cover where Roy had draped an arm across his middle.
The soft sound of snores let him know that Roy was still asleep. Judging by the light, it was still somewhat early, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.
His body was also letting him know he needed the washroom. Gently, he disentangled himself and padded silently out into the hall. He didn’t bother completely latching the washroom door and hoped that the splashing of water in the basin wouldn’t wake Roy across the hall.
Now that he was up, his body was reminding him that it needed food. Unfortunately, granny wasn’t there to cook for him the way she usually did. He supposed he had been shown enough times how to make eggs that he wouldn’t burn the place down, and he did boil the water for coffee every morning.
He took his dressing gown from where it hung on a hook on the back of the door and slid it on to ward off the chill that was permeating the house. The fire would have to be lit too he supposed.
Ed took a look into his room and was relieved to find Roy still asleep. Just as quiet as before, he slipped down the stairs and back into the front room.
He was thankful for his forward-thinking of stacking logs in the house rather than having to go outside and brave the chill to retrieve more. Once he was sure the fire wouldn’t go out, he stacked two big pieces on and closed the grate.
He hoped that it would soon do its job of making the house feel at least somewhat warmer.
Heading into the kitchen, he made a mental note that they would have to go to market soon to replenish some of their basics. But, they still had enough things for a couple of days and granny had left some stew in the fridge to tide them over until she got back.
Ed took the skillet off its hook and set it on the stove. After a frantic search for the matches that had somehow migrated from their usual place, the water for the coffee was soon boiling in the kettle, and eggs and bacon were sizzling pleasantly in the pan.
He hummed idly as he tidied up a few things he had missed the day before. No sooner done with that and the kettle was trilling.
Ed quickly lifted it onto a hot plate and turned the bacon. The eggs were just about finished so he plated those and set the coffee to steep.
He was just finishing up the toast when he felt warm arms encircle his waist.
“I didn’t know you knew how to cook.”
Roy’s voice was heavy with sleep, slightly rougher than usual and lacking the guarded, sarcastic cadence it usually had.
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
“Clearly,” Roy murmured. He dropped a kiss on Ed’s shoulder as he shuffled over to the carafe.
He poured them both a cup and took the mugs to the table.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“If you want it, there’s jam and butter in the icebox.”
Roy nodded, shuffling over to grab the butter dish and set it on the table. He took the plate of toast from Ed’s hands and it joined the other dishes.
They were silent as they ate, but it was comfortable. Ed had imagined this so many times but he couldn’t get over how surreal and domestic it all was. Barely two days before he was worrying about whether Roy would make it home at all. Now, here they were, breakfasting as if it were any other day.
But it wasn’t. Not to Ed.
He studied Roy’s face. There was a new scar, curving through his eyelid. Ed hadn’t noticed it the day before but it looked raised and painful.
Roy looked up, no doubt having felt his eyes upon him, and quirked a brow.
Ed shook his head at the unspoken question and quickly finished up.
They made quick work of the breakfast dishes and soon there was little else to occupy his hands. Roy took the dishtowel from him and placed it on the counter. He tilted Ed’s chin up and gave him that lazy smile, more like a smirk if you asked Ed, a look that never ceased to make something in Ed melt. Not that he would ever let the bastard know that. Who knew what he would do with that information if he did.
Despite the sardonic tilt of his mouth, Roy’s eyes were soft as he gazed down at Ed. “I hope you won’t think me too forward, but I have missed you greatly. That is, I am hoping – “
“Yes,” Ed shushed him gently. Despite the fact that Roy had a reputation for being something of a rogue, which he was, when it came to their relationship he reverted to an almost boyish shyness in these moments. As if this was the first time they were together and not the hundredth. As if he couldn’t quite believe that Ed had also missed him just as fiercely and wanted him just as deeply.
“Come to bed with me,” Ed murmured. He watched as Roy’s lips parted just slightly at his bold statement, before curving back into that smirk.
“With pleasure.” He practically purred. The tension between them thrummed as they made their way up the stairs. It seemed they were both waiting with bated breath until the door to Ed’s bedroom closed behind them and they were safely ensconced from the rest of the world. Here, there was no such thing as laws to keep them apart. There were no people waiting to wag their fingers and tongues in judgment. Here, it was just the two of them.
Ed allowed himself to be borne down into the sheets, Roy’s body a welcome and comforting weight on top of his. Roy stayed there for a moment, tracking every detail of Ed’s face. Searching for what, Ed couldn’t quite guess, but he seemed satisfied at whatever he found because at last, at last, he was letting their lips meet.
Ed was a scientist, he didn’t necessarily believe in silly things like souls singing or some other such nonsense printed in a two-penny paper. But he couldn’t deny the way kissing Roy, as cliché as it sounded, was so much like coming home. As if the two years they had spent apart were nothing more than a terrible nightmare that he would wake up and soon forget.
He opened easily for him, letting their tongues tangle together as he sank the fingers of his right hand into Roy’s hair. He passed his left hand down the plane of Roy’s back. Imagining, if only for a moment, that he could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of Roy’s shirt. It wasn’t that he couldn’t feel anything – simply that it was not quite as strong as it used to be. Nevertheless, Roy sighed into his mouth, letting his own hands go to the tie of Ed’s dressing gown and undoing the knot without even having to pull away.
He parted the fabric and Ed moaned as he felt the heat of Roy’s palms on the bare skin of his chest. After that, there was no more room for gentleness as they frantically discarded items of clothing. Not caring a whit where they landed. Too long they had been apart and the need to feel each other was greater than any care for the damage they may or may not have done to their clothing.
Finally naked, Ed flipped them so that he was on top. And there was that damn smirk again. Ed would show him. He locked eyes with Roy and very deliberately undid the tie at the end of his braid. Already, stray bits of hair started to escape from where they were bound. Holding his lover’s attention, Ed began to slowly undo the rest of it until his hair fell in a sheet around his shoulders.
Roy groaned, dragging him back down into a searing kiss as he combed his fingers through it. Ed could not possibly understand his fascination with his hair, but he couldn’t deny how good it felt when Roy began to tug on the ends gently.
The need for oxygen drove them apart, panting, but not for long as Ed bent to lick a stripe up the column of Roy’s neck. It made his fingers clench involuntarily and Ed purred as he traded the gentle swiping of his tongue for the blunt edge of his teeth. Not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough that Roy was soon arching under him, vocalizing his pleasure.
It was heady, the way that he could reduce Roy to this so quickly. Knowing that Roy trusted him and that he would give Ed just as much pleasure in return. Not to mention how much he had missed being like this with Roy. The few salacious things that had passed between them in letters were incomparable to the feeling of naked skin slip-sliding against his own. The breathless way that Roy said his name when Ed did something particularly good. The feeling of callused palms scraping against his scalp and along the nape of his neck as Roy attempted to draw him even closer. No, words could not do this justice in the least.
But as much as he wanted to savor the moment, draw it out for just a little bit longer, he found himself growing impatient. He’d dreamt about Roy and pleasured himself often enough at the thought of his lover, that he could not wait one second more. There would be time later to take their time and be slow, but Ed needed to feel connected to Roy in the most carnal way possible.
He levered himself up and fumbled in the bedside drawer for the small vial he kept hidden underneath his notebooks. All the while, Roy’s hands ran up the backs of his thighs, distracting as they cupped his ass and squeezed. Ed practically wrenched the damn thing from the drawer and open, passing it to Roy impatiently, who took it with a gentle chuckle of amusement.
Ed retaliated by biting his shoulder and Roy laughed again. Ed pulled away to scowl down at him and opened his mouth to scold him but all that came out was a long, low moan of pleasure as Roy finally sank a finger into him. With his other hand, Roy cupped his cheek, swiping his thumb along the corner of his jaw, his chin, and drawing him into another kiss.
Ed was wanton as he licked into Roy’s mouth, chasing the pleasure of his tongue even as his hips moved backward to chase the feeling of Roy’s finger inside him. Roy was indulgent, letting Ed take what he needed as he pressed another finger in beside the first. He curled and pressed them in a way that had Ed’s toes curling, even as he knew that the best part was yet to come. But Roy always liked to tease him, make him wait. As he was doing now, even as he returned with a third finger.
“’m ready,” Ed panted, breaking away from his lover.
“You’re not – “
“Don’t tell me that. ‘m ready, get in me. Now.”
Ed decided to ignore Roy’s grumblings about him being bossy as he let his fingers slip from inside him. Ed could hardly feel disappointed at the sudden emptiness because he felt the hot press of Roy’s cock only seconds later.
He was greedy, reaching back and guiding it in, then sinking down in one thrust. Roy’s hands no doubt left imprints on his hips as he tried to ground himself in the face of the sudden onrush of pleasure. But Ed was not going to show him any mercy as he rose up and back down, again and again. He was lost to it, the feeling of Roy’s cock sliding over his prostate as Roy called out his name. Guiding him, thrusting up to meet him.
There was no way Ed could last long, not like this. Not after so long. He could feel the pull of his orgasm already beginning and he was helpless to stop it as his body moved faster and faster. He was scarcely in control of himself as he wrapped a hand around his own prick, stroking it in time to the harsh rhythm of Roy’s cock thrusting in and out of him.
He opened his eyes and saw Roy looking up at him with what could only be called rapture. Ed was too far gone to care about making any smart comments about it. In fact, he was pretty sure a similarly dopey expression was plastered across his own face. But he didn’t give a damn.
He closed his eyes, the heat of Roy’s stare making him arch his back, putting on even more of a show. That’s how he found himself suddenly on his back, with his head nearly hanging off the end of the bed. Roy’s hands, which had been on the outside of his hips, strayed to underneath his thighs, lifting and spreading his legs that much wider. Letting his cock sink deeper inside of him.
Ed forgot about everything but the heavy fullness inside him. The need to ground himself somehow or else completely shatter from the intensity of what he was feeling. One hand twisted into the sheets while the other left half-moon imprints on Roy’s shoulder as he bit his lip so hard he was pretty sure he could taste blood.
He longed to drive himself down, chase after that pleasure, but now Roy was the one firmly in control. Using his body weight to pin Ed completely to the bed as he once again returned to their earlier rhythm. Ed was sure he would’ve fallen off the bed if not for the firm grip of Roy’s hands around the backs of his legs. If he was capable of speaking, he might’ve told Roy to shift down, but as it was, the only thing he could do was hang on as Roy drove them both closer to the edge.
Ed dragged his hand up to bury his fingers in Roy’s hair and pulled him down into a kiss that was all passion, hunger, and biting teeth.
He drew back, panting, “Touch me, Roy.”
Roy left a teasing kiss on his throat, trailing his lips up. Ed whimpered as Roy’s words fanned across the shell of his ear. “Want you to finish. Like this. Can you?”
“Y-yeah,” Ed wasn’t sure if he actually could. He’d never, in all the times they’d been together, finished without a hand on him. But the ruthless way that Roy’s cock was dragging against his prostate combined with the biting kisses Roy was leaving on every inch of Ed’s skin that he could was making him believe that maybe he could. He keened as Roy moved even further down his body, practically folding him in two, to take his left nipple into his mouth. There was hardly any sensation there anymore, but the simple act of Roy dragging his tongue along the scarred flesh. Worshipping a part of himself that he’d spent so much time hiding away, was driving him crazy. Especially when Roy kissed where the metal met his skin and lingered there.
Like this, he could believe that he wasn’t some type of freak. Someone that was only partly human. Roy made him see himself the way that he did, and it was terrifying and exhilarating. Ed knew he couldn’t last much longer. Especially given the contrast between Roy’s gentle kisses and the punishing rhythm of his cock.
He wanted to warn him, but before he could, he was being catapulted over the edge. He wasn’t sure if he screamed, maybe he did. All that mattered was the words Roy whispered into his skin, the way he gentled his rhythm, only to speed up again. Drawing Ed’s orgasm out so that he was left panting and shaking by the end of it. Limbs gone boneless and numb.
He noticed that Roy was still hard. But, being a gentleman, or at least when he wanted to be, Roy went to pull out, but Ed, with more effort than he would ever admit to, wrapped a leg around his waist, preventing the movement.
He drew Roy down again, teasing his tongue with his own, until gradually, Roy began to move again. It ached and it wasn’t exactly pleasurable, but it wasn’t about him, not now. Ed opened his body willing, giving Roy the safe harbor he’d always promised him in return. Allowing him to seek his pleasure and that alone had Ed moaning, encouraging him to move faster. He wanted to feel him.
He could tell Roy was close, and Ed drew him deeper still. Then, he felt his hips stutter and whined at the sudden rush of wet warmth inside of him. Fuck, had Roy always come this much? Maybe he had forgotten in all this time but he wasn’t disappointed. Far from it. The only disappointing thing was when Roy eventually softened and slipped from inside him.
In the aftermath, they lay tangled together, bringing one another gently back to earth.
Roy drew him to his chest and petted a hand through his hair. Ed hummed, relaxing into his lover. The world could say what it wanted to, but Ed knew the truth. With Roy, he was human, became all the things he’d never imagined himself to be. This thing between them, though condemned by heaven and hell alike, would never be wrong. Not to him. After all, it wasn’t the first time that he’d defied the laws of nature.
Maybe judgment would come for them as it did for many, but if he was the one sitting in chambers, he would choose to be right where he was.
Ed knew he didn’t care and Roy didn’t either. Because, even if he’d never been able to prove it with all of his scientific calculations, there was no force in the universe stronger than the bond between two souls so closely joined together as theirs. No, he didn’t believe in soul mates, but he believed in the rightness of what was between the two of them.
He turned over in Roy’s arms and saw that he was already deeply asleep. Ed wondered what he saw in those private moments. He studied his closed lids and longed to trace the shadowy sweep of dark lashes across his lover’s pale cheek. To trace the bow in his lips. But, there would be time for those ruminations later. Hadn’t he done enough for one day?
The world could say what it wanted to but in here? In here was a sanctuary. Sanctified by their union and Ed decided that was as good as any marriage certificate. They were promised to each other in a way that human hands could not rend apart. It made him think faintly of some religious verse he’d heard as a child but he swiftly wiped the thought away.
He was a scientist. Scientists only believed in what was provable and visible, not in the bounty of things unseen. He kissed Roy’s lips softly and laid his head down, breathing in the scent of soft skin, sex, and the grass that brushed against the sheets on the line, imbuing them with their sweetness. For this, these moments, he would wait a thousand years and more. Knowing that in every lifetime, they would always find their way back to each other.