Chapter Text
"I"m sorry," Jungkook says as he kisses my cheek, rousing me from my sleep. "Come to bed with me." I lazily open my eyes to see him hovering over me in my bedroom. What time is it? I glance over and groan when I see the clock says three. "Just go to bed. We"ll talk in the morning," I mumble, huffing as I turn back over. "Tell me I can take you to my bed, and I"ll shut up." "There"s nothing wrong with my bed. I want to sleep in here. We"ll talk in the morning. When there"s light out." The bed dips as he crawls in beside me and wraps his arms around my waist to pull my back to his front. Soft lips start trailing down my neck, to my shoulder, then back up. I can feel the heat of his skin and the firm touch of his chest grazing my few pieces of shown skin. Of course he"s shirtless. He wouldn"t dare make this easy on me.
"I said I"m sorry," he murmurs again while nuzzling my neck with his smooth face. I huff out as I turn over to face him, unsure if I"m even mad or not. I"m hurt. "I didn"t ask for the wine. In fact, I damn near begged him to keep it. He was insistent. I don"t know why you"re pissed at me. I told you to keep the frigging bottle. I don"t want it." I turn back over, and his arms tighten around me as his leg comes over to wrap me up. "I know, Jimin . That"s why I"m apologizing. I was a jerk. It... it just caught me off guard. You should definitely keep it. It"s obvious Haraboji noticed how special you are, too. He has... cancer, and when he gave that to you, I wasn"t mad at you... It just made me realize he knows he doesn"t have a lot of time left. It just... it really struck a nerve, because I"m not ready to lose him."
The emotion in his voice is raw and heartbreaking. I"ve never heard him like this. That"s all it takes to make me roll back over and throw my arms around him. I can feel the tears in his eyes, which makes it hard for me not to cry. He tightens his hold on me, and his cheek rubs against mine affectionately. I want so badly to stupidly tell him I love him again, but I bite it back and just hold him. His grandfather seemed fine. He didn"t look to be hurting or dying. He seemed fresh and happy. "Come to bed with me. I hate sleeping upstairs," he murmurs while kissing my cheek. "Okay." I go willingly this time as he pulls me up. His fingers thread through mine as he guides me down the stairs. As soon as we reach his room, he turns me face him and starts backing me up as his lips come down on mine. I don"t know what he needs right now, but I"m willing to give him anything he wants.
Slowly, I slide my arms up his chest and clasp them around his neck just as the backs of my knees reach the bed. Perfect trails of kisses are forged around my neck as we both drop to the soft mattress. He"s been gentle, he"s been rough, but this... this is so much more. It"s as though I"m the only person in the world right now, and he"s worshipping me with every touch, every kiss, and every breath. My breathing hitches when he pulls my shirt over my head and presses tender kisses down the curve of my neck. With very soft, unhurried motions, we undress each other until we"re bare and comfortably entwined. He pulls me to be on top of him, and I lower my mouth to his. It doesn"t matter if he doesn"t tell me he loves me; right now I can feel it. His hands gently tangle in my hair as he kisses me harder, letting me feel a need he"s not usually vulnerable enough to show.
I don"t bother digging for a foil packet and ruining this real moment with superficial barriers. I"ve never slept with anyone except my first boyfriend, and I know Jungkook doesn"t sleep around. It"s probably not smart, but I love him. I want to have all of him, and I want him to have all of me. I slide down on him, letting him feel the skin on skin, and he moans in a way that sets me on fire as he fills me. He doesn"t stop me or question what I"ve just done, because he trusts me as much as I trust him. Then I start moving my hips, rocking against him as he runs his hands up and down my hips, pulling me to him with each falling motion so that our bases rub against each other. He sits up as I control the motions, and he kisses me as we slowly and deeply claim each other with our connected bodies. I"m on another level right now. It"s so... honest, so real.
"I love you," I whisper, not meaning to, but not able to hold back. He pulls me closer, making it hard to rise and fall against him, as his tongue slips into my mouth. Sweat forms on both of us, my hair dampens, and his body melds more to mine as everything intensifies. When his breaths grow rasp, I feel the build trying to unfurl deep within me. I push down harder, move a little quicker, and use his shoulders to offer me leverage as I work hard to carry us both over that edge. It"s not merely mind-blowing when I finally find my release, it"s earth-shattering. His name flows through my lips like a worshipping prayer, and my name falls out of him just the same. And we just sit there, holding each other, lips entwined, tongues in play... hearts in love. I"ve had butterflies in my stomach all day long.
After Jungkook woke me up last night and made love to me like I never thought possible, I haven"t been able to stop smiling. Now he wants to take me somewhere special. This could be it. This could be the night he tells me he loves me. He"s been different ever since he woke me up at three. He barely let me get to class this morning, and he has sent me at least a dozen texts telling me he misses me. My goofy grin only grows. I start to text him when my phone buzzes in my hand. I look down to see Namjoon’s name on the screen, but I put it back. I don"t want to talk to him right now. I want to go fall into Jungkook"s arms and enjoy the night I pray changes everything. My stomach flip flops as I grow closer, but then it crashes to the ground when I see the black Audi car in the driveway of Jungkook "s house.
It’s the same License plate . My phone buzzes again, and I scramble to answer it. "Namjoon , that car is-" "It"s Uncle Si-Hyuk, Kiddo. I was calling to tell you I have a name for the tag you gave me. Jung Shin-Hye . You know her? "Cause she"s been asking a lot of questions about you back in Busan." I swallow hard as I lower the phone from my ear, and my world tries to disintegrate in front of my eyes. No. I was supposed to get to tell him. Not her. I tremble as I make my way to the door. I can only imagine what will happen, but I have to hope he loves me enough to overlook my roots. He"s not going to judge me like the rest of them. He can"t. With a shaky breath, I finally push through the door, dreading what"s waiting on the other side.
Hushed voices reach me from the living room, and the lump in my throat doubles in size. When I round the corner, I see Jungkook sitting on the couch beside Shin-Hye . She looks up to meet my eyes, seeming cold and angry. Jungkook"s head is down as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees while he stares at the floor. His hands are clasped together, his body is stiff, and I can tell my hopefulness is going to be doused with reality. He"s going to be like everyone else. "You need to go. Now," Shin-Hye says, a bitterness to her tone I"m accustomed to. Who the hell does she think she is?
"I"ll let Jungkook tell me what to do," I mutter calmly, digging deep to find those extra-thick layers of skin I put away. Jungkook doesn"t move, but his low voice comes out cold. "Go, Shin-Hye. I need to speak to Jimin alone." I swallow hard, almost choking on that knot now. Shin-Hye shakes her head. "No. Jungkook , he’s a con. He can easily manipulate you into making another mistake." My heart drops to the ground and shatters. Another mistake?
"Just go, Shin-Hye !" he growls, making her jump. She stands and brushes the wrinkles out of her fitted blue dress. Several files and photos are scattered across the glass coffee table. I don"t have to ask what they are. If she"s been digging for information in my home town, everyone was more than likely happy to oblige. If he chooses to believe those hypocritical fools who turned on my father while locking all their dirty secrets up in a closet, then he doesn"t love me like I thought. I glare at her as she walks by, and she holds my gaze with just as much passionate hatred. Right now, I wish my father had been violent. Then I"d know how to beat the hell out of her. She finally breaks the eye contact as she walks out, leaving her messy trail behind for me to clean up.
I can tell by the frigid temperature in the air, it"s over. I won"t let him judge me wrongly. If everyone wants someone to hate... so be it. I"m sick of defending myself. "So you"re a con?" he asks, slicing my heart out. "That"s what all this was? You show up, find a way to weasel yourself into my house, and then what? Make me fall for you? Take everything I have?" The tears that brim his eyes match the ones I"m holding back. Not again. I won"t be that boy that crumbles and breaks again. I knew this day would come. I hoped for the best, but I prepared for the worst.
"My father is a con. I"m just his son. But I think you"ve already made up your mind about me. There"s nothing I can or will say to try to change your mind. I"ve seen that look before." "Deny it, Jimin . Can you at least do that?" he hisses. "Can you say that you didn"t play me? That you didn"t work me over real damn well? And my father? And my grandfather? I should have fucking known he wouldn"t have handed that bottle over for just any reason. You poured on the charm and he fell for it just like I did. Like we all did." If you cut my heart out with a dull spoon, it wouldn"t hurt this much. Still, I hold onto my tears, refusing to let him see me break.
"Yeah," I murmur coldly. "I talked those college boys into bulldozing my house just so I could move in here. I cunningly whispered in your father"s ear to plant the idea in his head. I conned him into buying me clothes and bringing me to Niseko . Is that what you want? I told your grandfather I love you just so he"d give me a bottle of wine he treasured. Happy? I told you I love you because I wanted to steal everything you have and disappear into the wind. There. Now you can feel good about doing this." I turn on my heel, disgusted and broken. I"ve told myself before I"d never be loved by someone like him. Why I let myself fall is beyond me. "Fucking unbelievable. Just deny it, Jimin . Damn it. That"s all I"m asking," he barks behind my back, but I ignore it. I don"t want to hear any more cruelty spewing from the lips that loved me last night. Hurt? I wish. I"m not hurt; I"m destroyed. I never conned him into loving me. I conned myself into believing he"d be different.