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The Disciplinary Committee Recruitment Strategy

Chapter 3: Iida: How to let go of your revenge-murder plan in ten easy steps

Notes:

Okay this is for everyone who commented or gave kudos because I live for validation from strangers on the internet. This is the end for real though. I had this half written already and the awesome reception I got gave me the motivation to finish it off but there's nothing else.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

What Hibari got up to after the fight with Stain...

 

“I know you’re there. Loitering is against the rules. Come out or I’ll bite you to death,” Hibari said.

A teen dressed in a white robot suit stepped out into the road from where he’d been crouched behind a parked car. “I saw your fight. That was Hero Killer Stain, wasn’t it?”

Hibari frowned, not wanting to admit that he’d forgotten to get the name of the man he'd just beaten within an inch of his life. “What’s it to you?” he asked.

“I was pursuing him. I am the younger brother of a hero he attacked. It was my responsibility to kill him! You stole that from me!” Iida said, his volume growing with every word until he was shouting emotionally.

“Hn. If it was a fight you wanted, I can give you that,” Hibari said, completely missing the point of what the student was saying.

Iida gulped. Some part of him knew he’d bitten off more than he could chew, both with Stain and now with this hero who had defeated the villain so easily. This wasn’t even what he wanted anyway. He didn't care about this weird pro hero. It was Stain who he wanted revenge on.

But Stain was laying on the ground in a bloody heap. And Iida was still angry. He moved into a fighting stance.

 

........................................................

 

“Intern Iida reporting for patrol, Oikawa-san,” Iida declared, chopping his hand through the air decisively.

Watanabe sighed. Why can no one get my name right? “I’m Watanabe,” he corrected. “Oikawa is waiting for you outside reception.”

Iida blushed brilliant red. “I humbly apologise, Watanabe-san! I will do better next time!” he said, bowing low.

Watanabe frowned. “This is the fourth time you’ve gotten the wrong person. Are you face blind or something?”

“No. I have never had this problem before,” Iida admitted. He looked around the Disciplinary Committee headquarters, filled with a sea of plain-faced men wearing identical suits and hairstyles. It was the first day of his internship here and considering the way he had been recruited he didn’t feel confident enough to speak up about it but they had serious diversity issues. He wondered if they had an exit survey so he could submit his feedback when he left.

“Maybe it’s because you’re from a legacy hero family,” Watanabe pondered. “You’re probably used to people dressing in outlandish costumes to try to stand out. Is there anyone here you can easily recognise? I can get you reassigned.”

“Only Hibari-sama,” Iida said, looking away and adjusting his glasses uncomfortably with the lie. There was one other employee he could recognise because of the man’s amputated nose but Iida was too embarrassed to draw attention to his injury by saying so.

Watanabe looked thoughtful. “Hmm. Normally I would say that is not an option but one of our new hires has been causing a lot of problems and requires frequent correction from the boss himself so Hibari-sama has been in a particularly good mood lately.”

“I see,” Iida said, despite not understanding at all. Then again, pretty much everything that had happened since he’d been viciously beaten up by a pro hero and then forcefully inducted into a new internship had been confusing so at least he could count on the Disciplinary Committee for consistency.

“We’ll give it a trial and see how it goes,” Watanabe decided. “For your own safety please follow these rules carefully.”

Iida quickly pulled out a notebook and pen.

“Firstly, although you will shadow Hibari-sama, do not get closer than five metres to him. In fact, ideally you should keep a ten metre distance. Secondly, do not speak to Hibari-sama unless spoken to first and try to keep your communications brief and relevant. If you have any questions, note them down and ask any other member of the Disciplinary Committee later. Thirdly, the boss has a terrible sense of direction but he will never admit it. The best way to deal with this is to tell him that you will meet him at the place he is going and then go there. He will follow as long as you do not look behind you. That is all. Do you have any questions?”

What have I gotten myself into? Iida wondered. Out loud he said “No, sir.”

 

........................................................

 

“Iida-kun! You got a new hairstyle during your internship!” Uraraka said. It was the first day of class after they had spent the last week at their internships so everyone was very excited to see each other again.

“Uraraka-chan! It is good to see you again! Indeed, well spotted, this is how all the members of the Disciplinary Committee wear their hair,” Iida said, his hands chopping through the air wildly.

“Your new hairstyle makes you look like a delinquent, Iida-kun,” Asui observed.

“This is so weird. Tsuyu-chan is right, you look like a delinquent and have you seen Bakugou-kun? He looks like he should be the student president. It’s completely backwards,” Kaminari said, laughing.

“The Disciplinary Committee?” Uraraka mused, “Is that who you interned with? I thought you were with another agency although I don’t remember the name...”

“You are correct! However I unexpectedly changed agencies half way through.” He looked shamefaced for a moment before he pushed his glasses up and the fire in his eyes lit up again, “I broke the rules but Hibari-sama reminded me that that is not the way a hero behaves. Everyone must follow the rules! There are no exceptions. Rule breaking will not be tolerated!”

“It seems that there is a story there but I won’t pry,” Asui commented.

“Hibari is a very controversial hero,” Izuku said, joining the conversation, “When I first heard about him I thought maybe I could be a hero like him since he fights without using his quirk.”

“Did you want to become a hero without using your quirk because you couldn’t use it without breaking your bones?” Asui asked.

“... Yes. That is the reason,” Izuku said. “Anyway, I decided that he’s not the kind of hero I want to be. His smile doesn’t reassure anyone. It’s the exact opposite.”

Uraraka looked worried. “That doesn’t sound good. How was your internship with him, Iida-kun? Did you have any issues?”

“I was very upset when I learned that he hired Stain and helped him to become a pro hero,” Iida admitted, “But after seeing the way Hibari-sama personally took responsibility for correcting Stain’s behaviour I was satisfied that it was a better outcome than sending him to prison.”

“Because criminal rehabilitation is better for both individuals and society than punishment?” Asui asked.

“... Yes,” said Iida, remembering how Stain looked after each time that Hibari would ‘bite him to death’ for breaking the rules. If that was rehabilitation then Iida could definitively say, “Rehabilitation is something I wholeheartedly support.”

Just then Kirishima and Ashido’s teasing of Bakugou about his new hairstyle pushed the blond boy over the edge.

“Stop laughing, shitty extras!” he shouted, explosions sparking from his palms.

“Bakugou!” Iida exclaimed loudly. “Using your quirk in the classroom is forbidden. Stop it immediately!”

“You know you’re just going to set him off even more, right?” Asui pointed out.

“Haah? Like hell I’m going to listen to you, Glasses!” Bakugou yelled, setting his quirk off again.

“For breaking the rules I’ll—” Iida faltered for a moment before rallying again, “I’ll bite you to death!”

“What?” Kaminari asked in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“What on earth did you learn from your internship?” Jirou asked.

“Are you challenging me?” Bakugou screamed, “Alright. Let’s go—”

“Stop,” Aizawa said from the doorway. “No fighting in the classroom,” he said to Bakugou before turning his red-eyed glare onto Iida. “And you. No biting to death. Ever. If I hear any one of you say those words again I’ll expel you on the spot.”

 

Notes:

SPOILER ALERT!

The ten easy steps are:

1. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder a hero.

2. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder his partner sidekick.

3. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder a sidekick who was late to his patrol.

4. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder someone who ran into him and made him drop his dango.

5. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder a thief.

("They were breaking the rules!" Stain protested. "I was biting them to death, just like you said."

The rapid flurry of attacks that followed suggested that Hibari did not have a good response to this, nor did he particularly care.)

6. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder the man who grabbed the last tin of his preferred brand of hair wax just before Stain could get to it.

7. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder a train groper.

8. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to murder a lost child he picked up who then put her sticky fingers in his hair.

9. Watch Hibari beat up Stain for trying to quit his job and turn himself in to the police.

10. Watch Stain limp into work and grouse to his partner that Tartarus would be better than this bullshit.

Notes:

Apparently my new thing is crack BNHA crossovers. This is a bit of a mess in terms of style, tone and overall coherency, not to mention all the editing I didn't do, but I'm posting it anyway.