Chapter Text
When Sugawara was little, he loved to watch his favorite TV show with Midori after school: a vibrant cartoon that snuck moral lessons in from time to time. At the tail end of each episode, the main character would wave over the cheerful outro music and say, “Don’t forget to learn something today!”
This became Sugawara and Midori’s favorite thing to say to each other. They used it as a joke during their backyard brawls, a sarcastic quip as one of them left for school.
The show had long since been discontinued. But the saying had developed that sort of fondness that only strengthens over time, so when they said it now it was more of a tradition than anything else.
That Saturday, Sugawara learned many somethings.
The first was that green was his energy color.
Closely followed by the second: what the hell an energy color even was.
“Kou, keep up,” Midori frowned as she snapped with one hand, the other gracefully skimming through the clothes still on his hangers. “It’s the color that fits your personality, that you look the best in. You, like.. Subconsciously surround yourself with it. Look, you’ve got at least five green sweaters,” she jabbed her thumb towards towards a heap behind her.
Sugawara groaned.
“I can’t wear a sweater. It’s too hot outside.”
The metallic click of the hangers did not stop as his sister continued her search.
“None of those are right for your date anyways. We need…” she trailed off in her examination of a crisp grey button down.
Sugawara glanced at his phone. He had opted to sit on the floor; his limbs were exhausted after modeling countless outfits for his sister to veto.
His screen lit up with a notification, causing his heart to stumble. He tapped on it.
[I’m super excited for tonight! We’re still meeting at the station, right? :)]
Midori turned, her hand on her chin. “We need something that suits your- oh my god grooooss,” she whined.
Sugawara looked up from typing his response. His brows furrowed as the smile slid off his face.
“What, another critique of my t-shirts?”
“No. I can just tell when you’re texting him. Everything about you gets…” She gestured vaguely towards him. “Gooey.”
Sugawara rolled his eyes. “Gooey,” he repeated flatly.
“Listen, you asked for my help with outfits.”
The pile of clothes behind Sugawara had stacked up from all Midori's vetos. He flopped back onto it.
“I asked you if you thought the outfit I had on already looked good. That was about 14 outfits ago,” he countered.
“Well, you clearly need my help! That striped shirt with the plaid pants was not it, Kou. Here-” she tossed another bundle of clothes at his chest. “I have a good feeling about this one.”
Sugawara groaned again, but got to his feet. “You said that about at least three of them before.”
“I have an especially good feeling about this one, smartass! Now goooo!” The heels of her palms met his back as she shoved him out the door in the direction of the bathroom.
Midori sat on her brother’s bed. Sunlight fell through the slats on the window, casting neat stripes over the hurricane of clothes strewn everywhere.
Her eyes roamed over the room. A couple pictures sat framed on his desk in front of a huge calendar. Each of his events for the month were noted and color coded. Blue for school. Orange for volleyball. Pink for tutoring. Today's square was titled in green: 'Date with Oikawa!' with several circles looped around it.
Sugawara was certainly more organized, between the two of them. She could always tell when he was stressed out about something important. His tidy room turned into a nightmare pit.
Like it was right now.
Midori sighed.
Before, the only thing that made Sugawara act like this was volleyball. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she glanced at a photo of him grinning with his teammates.
It was fitting that he fell for someone who loved the sport just as much as he did.
Despite her promises not to snoop, last night Midori told herself a teeny search wouldn’t hurt. Just to quell her curiosity.
She didn’t even have to dig. Her eyes widened in the glow of her phone after a simple search: Oikawa Tooru.
Awards. Magazine highlights. Interviews. Video clips of top upcoming high school players in Japan. The whole page illuminated with that high wattage grin, trimmed with teal and white.
Midori rolled a volleyball out of her way to shift further back on the bed.
They seemed suited for each other, really. Oikawa and her brother. Just as passionate, just as driven. She knew it bothered Sugawara, not getting to play as much as he wanted. She admired him for quitting when he had every right to. When she probably would have.
Sugawara was guarded about his feelings, and always had been. He was a bright and happy child. But when it came to things he truly cared about, he didn't often let his emotions show. Like a clam clutching its favorite pearls deep inside. She was surprised he had opened up to her yesterday, and unprompted at that.
He had confided in her about several fleeting crushes before. Some guy in his calculus class. A teammate from his middle school. The barista at the nearby coffee shop.
His room stayed fastidiously clean for all of them.
Midori huffed out an amused laugh to herself as she picked up the volleyball, twirling it between her hands.
“About time you fell in love with something other than this sport, Kou,” she muttered fondly.
______________________________
Floorboards outside the bedroom creaked tentatively.
“Midori,” said Sugawara.
Midori sat up. Gasped.
“Oh my god. Yeah. This is the one.”
Still unsure, Sugawara shifted his stance. “Really?”
She stood, walked over to her brother. Smoothed out his shirt.
“You’re going to knock this poor boy dead. He literally is not gonna know what hit him,” she assured him with a warm smile.
Nervous tension unwound itself from around Sugawara’s shoulders.
“I like him a lot,” he whispered, his cheeks burning.
Midori tilted her head as she glanced at his room.
Three empty coffee cups formed a small tower on his dresser, right next to a stack of important-looking papers. A thick black hoodie had made its home on top of his lamp.
“I know.”
______________________________
The third thing Sugawara learned that day was how to make onigirazu. His mother was an excellent cook, and an even better teacher.
______________________________
The fourth thing Sugawara learned that day was to never trust trains to come on time. He sprinted through the station, through the gates, through the crowd of idle shoulders in his way, a thousand different threads pulled in a million different directions, until-
______________________________
The fifth thing Sugawara learned was how beautiful Oikawa looked when he didn’t know anyone was watching.
______________________________
“Oikawa!” Sugawara panted, his breath too short for a longer greeting.
Oikawa turned. His face softened when he saw who was calling his name.
Sugawara was already flustered enough. He wanted everything to go perfectly, and running late was less than a perfect start.
But here was Oikawa, making him even more flustered. Standing there in tailored grey jeans and a button down with the sleeves rolled up, his hand tucked carefully in his pockets. Grinning at Sugawara and Sugawara alone.
Oikawa took his hands out of his pockets and stretched his arms out for a hug.
Sugawara ran right into it.
Several giggles burst out around them; one person even let out a soft aww.
Oikawa only squeezed him tighter. He smelled like pine trees.
“I’m so sorry for being late,” said Sugawara as he pulled back to look at the other boy. “They were doing some kind of construction, all the trains were backed up… Ah, what a bad start to my surprise,” he frowned as he looked away.
Oikawa's smile only brightened.
He stepped back and took Sugawara’s hand.
“I really don’t mind, Suga. I was running a little late anyways. My hair was misbehaving.” He shrugged. “Plus… I’d have waited far longer if it meant I still got to see you looking this good.” He glanced wryly at Sugawara, who had turned a brilliant crimson.
Dark green trousers, a soft white t-shirt, and his favorite brown leather boots. Sugawara owed his sister a favor, apparently.
“Ah,” was all Sugawara could manage. But Oikawa didn’t seem to mind.
He chuckled and pulled at Sugawara’s hand gently, leading him out to the street.
“So,” Oikawa threw a smile over his shoulder as the sunshine fell on the pair. “Where we headed, Number Two?”
______________________________
Oikawa might have a heart condition.
Surely.
That was the only explanation.
He swallowed, again. Another failed attempt to shove his heart back down in his chest where it belonged.
He had spent all week excitedly waiting for today. Longer than this week, if he was being perfectly truthful.
All his charms and schemes hadn’t budged Sugawara one bit. Oikawa still had no clue where they were going until they got there.
And here they were.
“Oikawa?”
Oikawa blinked. Apparently all his basic functions had to be performed manually today.
Sugawara was staring at him expectantly, two of his fingers hooked around the strap of his bag. Oikawa still didn’t know what was inside. His slickest moves hadn’t cracked Sugawara’s resolve, though they did get him adorably flustered.
“Sorry, I zoned out.”
My body stops working sometimes when I'm around you.
“That’s okay,” said Sugawara kindly. “I was just asking if you were hungry.”
Their hands were still clasped together. Neither of them had let go since the station.
“Hmmm… are you hungry?” Oikawa responded.
“I asked you first.”
“Fine, fine. Not really, yet. Let’s keep walking a little bit.”
Everything was green. Oikawa hadn’t seen the color so vividly in his entire life. Lush splotches of leaves hung over their head, drowning the sky's blue with the greenness. All kinds of shoots and bushes and trailing vines blossomed magnificently along the sides of the trail. Birds sang the evening news as the sun shone sweetly through the canopy high above.
It was silent for a moment, save for the crunching of the gravel and the gossiping of the birds.
“How did you find this place?” Oikawa asked.
Sugawara smiled.
“My dad used to take me here.”
They stepped over a large log that had fallen across the path.
“It’s beautiful. I never knew there was somewhere like this nearby.”
“We can come again sometime, if you’d like.”
Oikawa scoffed sarcastically.
“Ohh, presumptuous aren’t we? Already thinking of the second date, hm, Koushi? ” he teased.
Sugawara’s eyes widened for only a moment before his lips twisted into a grin.
“This date’s not over yet. I still have more surprises. And I have a feeling you already want to see me again, Tooru.”
Oikawa might have toppled over if he wasn't still holding Sugawara’s hand.
God, I might really fall in love with this boy.
“I… like that,” Oikawa mumbled.
Sugawara’s grin twisted further. He cocked his head far to the side.
“Hm? What did you say? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Oikawa rolled his eyes. He leaned down close to Sugwara’s ear.
“I said, I like how you say my name,” he whispered.
This time Sugawara’s eyes stayed wide. He turned his face away from Oikawa, who could still see the blush blooming across it.
“Okay, Tooru,” said Sugawara quietly. Reverently. Like a prayer.
______________________________
Rain rarely falls when it’s asked to.
“Fuck, fuck- fucking- god,” cried an exasperated Sugawara, one hand gripped on his bag and the other on his date. His hair was plastered to his forehead.
The storm beat down on both their backs. They were both sprinting along a sidewalk somewhere. Oikawa had no bearing on his location.
All he knew right now was the pounding of his feet against the wet pavement, the freeze building in his spine, and the firm clasp of Sugwara’s hand.
______________________________
The date was going fantastically until the rain intruded.
They had been walking on the trail for only a short while before the woods opened up to a small park. Sugawara lead him through its paths until they started to hear the telltale bustle of a crowd. Oikawa spotted several pinpricks of light through the trees.
“Where are we go...” OIkawa began to ask, but his question was already answered when they walked down a set of stairs and onto a side street.
Lanterns softened the sides of the road with their glow.
Colorful slips of paper fluttered in the bamboo trees.
Vendor stalls formed the coast on one side of the street, the large tide of people shifting alongside it.
Only then did Oikawa realize he had been so focused on his date, he had forgotten about the date.
“A Tanabata festival,” he whispered in awe, his face awash in color and sound.
Sugawara grinned as he watched the other boy.
“Pretty good surprise?” he asked.
Oikawa tore his eyes away from an elaborate streamer decoration down the street.
He squeezed Sugawara's hand.
“Amazing surprise, Koushi.”
Sugawara blushed, and hoisted his bag higher on his shoulder.
“I made food, too. We could always grab something from a stall, as well, if anything looks good.”
Oikawa’s eyebrows shot up.
“Is that what’s in the bag?”
“Yes,” Sugawara chuckled.
“You made food? For our date?”
“Y-yes?”
Oikawa clasped both of Sugawara’s hands in his.
“God, I could kiss you!” he exclaimed happily, before his face froze. “I mean! Uh!”
Sugawara's lips quirked in amusement.
“I think we ought to make our wishes first, Tooru,” he teased. “C’mon.”
With that, they made their way through the happy glow of the crowd.
______________________________
“Where are we going, Koushi?” Oikawa yelled over the rain.
They had been running for a while. His joints were starting to hurt.
Sugawara came to a sudden stop. Oikawa almost slipped in his efforts to not run into him.
“...Koushi? What-”
Sugawara’s head was lowered.
It was hard to tell he was crying at first, his tears trailed right into the rain pouring down his face.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Oikawa leaned down, cupping Sugawara’s chin in his free hand. Sugawara’s shoulders only shuddered in response. His tears fell silently as he tried to look away.
A raindrop landed in Oikawa’s ear. He winced. “Shit, uh- I don’t think we can stay out here.”
Oikawa looked around, trying to make sense of the street they were on.
Through the shifting downpour, he could make out a building he recognized. A building he knew very well.
Oikawa took Sugawara’s hand again.
“C’mon. Let’s get you dry.”
Sugawara said nothing, but followed Oikawa as he led them down the street, through a gate, and towards a large building.
Oikawa fumbled his keys when he pulled them out of his pocket.
“Damn it,” he cursed into the unrelenting drone of the storm crashing down around them.
Finally his rain-chilled fingers found the right key and jammed it into the door. He flung it open and led Sugawara to the safe indoors.
______________________________
Oikawa rummaged through his bag.
“Here,” he said softly as he draped a towel around Sugawara’s shoulders.
He hadn’t thought he would be back in his locker room before Tuesday.
“Uh… and.” Oikawa held out a pile of clothes. “I usually keep a couple spares of stuff in my locker. I’ll show you where the showers are. Both of our teams will probably murder us if we catch a cold,” he joked lamely.
Sugawara reached out slowly with pale fingers.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Oikawa frowned, and placed his hands on Sugawara’s shoulders.
“What are you sorry for?”
“It was supposed to be perfect.”
This was the same sadness Oikawa had seen in the lobby on that moonlit night. Sugawara looked… small. Defeated.
“Koushi,” said Oikawa quietly.
Sugawara looked up. His eyes were pink at the edges.
“Yeah?”
“This was the best day ever.”
Sugawara looked like he might cry again, but the smallness subsided a little. He sniffled.
“Bullshit.”
“No. I’m serious.”
“I might have given you pneumonia,” said Sugawara with a pained look.
Oikawa snorted. How ironic, finding someone as stubborn as himself.
“As far as I’m aware, you don’t control the rain. Unless you do. In which case, holy shit, how do you do that?”
He earned the faintest smile from the shivering boy in front of him.
“But let’s go hit the showers before we get sick, because again, I really don’t need to give Iwa another reason to lecture me.”
This time he received a huff of a laugh.
Sugawara relented.
“Alright.”
______________________________
Oikawa stood in the dark gym. He was still damp, but at least now the dampness was due to a hot shower instead of the frigid rain.
The storm was persistent. It sounded like static against the roof, echoing against the high walls of the gym.
He walked towards the door he knew the lights were by, but then paused.
Oikawa was the captain of the volleyball team, sure. He had been given the keys to the practice gym. And he had even made friends with a couple of the security guards that sporadically roamed the halls, drawn to the sound of his serves slamming against the floor long after practice had ended.
He was fairly certain nobody came this time on a Saturday. Especially in the rain, on a festival day.
But turning on all the lights felt like sending up a flare signal for even more bad luck.
As he stood deliberating, his vision slowly adjusted to the dark. The lofted windows let in some light. Even if it was only the light off those angry thunderclouds.
The gym was surreal like this. Empty, dim, still. Sleepily waiting for its players to return.
“Tooru? Are you in here?” called Sugawara from the hallway.
“Yeah- come on in,” he called back.
“Jesus, I can’t see for shit,” Sugawara said as he walked with his hands out in front of him.
Oikawa laughed. He met Sugawara at the middle of the court, where the other boy startled slightly at Oikawa’s hand against his arm.
“Oh! Man, this is an embarrassing way for you to find out I don’t really like the dark,” Sugawara admitted. He was wearing a Seijoh gym shirt and some of Oikawa's volleyball shorts.
Oikawa hoped he never got those clothes back. They looked far too good on Sugawara, knowing they were his own.
Mine, he let himself think selfishly. Only for a moment.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry, your eyes will get used to it in a second. How was your shower?”
Sugawara stretched his arms and fluffed his still-damp hair with a hand.
“Fantastic. I feel five years younger.”
“Here,” Oikawa pressed a strap into his palm. “I toweled off the outside- I think everything is still dry.”
He watched Sugawara’s fingers trace the lines of the object.
“Oh,” Sugawara said as he realized what it was. “Honestly, I’m… kind of starving.”
Oikawa giggled. “Me too. Do you wanna eat?”
“What, here?”
“You have something against my gym?” Oikawa teased as he took the bag back from Sugawara.
“No, I meant- well. I guess it beats going back out in the rain.”
Oikawa marveled at the carefully wrapped packages inside. There was even a picnic blanket tucked in the seams. He took it out and spread it across the floor.
“Can you see now?” he asked Sugawara as he touched his arm again.
Sugawara squinted and swiveled his head around experimentally.
“Yeah. It’s still kinda fuzzy, but I can see you. And everything else.”
Oikawa motioned for him to come sit next to him on the blanket. He delicately laid out the packages.
“Pretty drastic change from what we usually do on this court, huh,” Sugawara elbowed him.
Oikawa smiled to himself, happy that Sugawara was feeling better.
“I don’t think there’s a way to win at eating,” he reasoned.
Sugawara stuck his tongue out. “Not with that attitude there isn’t.”
“Look, I just want to eat this delicious meal a very cute boy made for me. I’m not looking for a stomach ache.” Oikawa put his hands up in defeat.
Sugawara was quiet as he considered this. His face was too far in the dark for Oikawa to make out the emotion on it.
Wordlessly, Sugawara handed him a cellophane-wrapped square.
"Sounds like a plan," Oikawa sang happily.
______________________________
“So Akaashi and Bokuto, huh?”
They had eaten their way through most of the food. Oikawa had his legs outstretched in front of him as he leaned back on his elbows.
The whites of Sugawara’s teeth flashed. “I so called that. From the first time I met them, I called it.”
“It makes sense to me,” Oikawa agreed as he lazily collected the trail of wrappers and tucked them in the bag. “They look good together. Oh my god, I forgot to tell you. Guess what I found out.”
“Mm?”
“Guess who Daichi thinks is cute. Guess.”
“How would you kn-”
“Koushiiii. Just guess.”
Sugawara shrugged. “Other than my sister? I already told you, that’s not going to happen.”
“I know I know. Other than your sister.”
“Uh… I dunno. He’s a pretty tight-lipped guy about his crushes. I only found out about that one because, well. It’s my sister.”
Oikawa's grin hurt his cheeks.
“He isn’t so tight-lipped with his diary. Which his sneaky little siblings found.”
Sugawara gasped. “Tooru,” he admonished. The gleam in his eye was unmistakable, though.
“What!! I didn’t tell them to, they already had! And I didn’t ask- Kenji just blurted it out.”
Sugwara slid closer to him.
“That's pretty on-brand for Kenji. Alright, now I’m super curious. Who is it?”
Oikawa let the rain fill the dramatic pause he took.
“Iwa.”
Sugawara gasped again.
“NO. WAY. Really? Oh, my god… oh my GOD that would be so fantastic- Tooru! We could totally get them together. I think they’re super compatible, how did I not think of that before?
OIkawa was pleased that this news delighted Sugawara as much as he thought it would.
“They’d look really good together, too,” he added.
“Do you think we look good together?”
Oikawa turned to look at Sugawara, whose head was tilted with the inquiry.
“Are you kidding?” Oikawa scooted close to him, put his hands on top of Sugawara’s knees. “We look the best together. I mean, obviously I’m devilishly handsome. And you’re… y’know.”
He blushed.
“I’m what?”
“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” said Oikawa as he met Sugawara’s gaze.
A flash of lightning illuminated the gym for a split second, turning Sugawara’s hair pure white. His eyes were round as he stared at Oikawa, his mouth hung open in surprise.
The darkness followed, crashing down with the thunder.
Neither of them moved.
Slowly, so slow Oikawa wasn’t sure it was happening at all, Sugawara shifted forward.
He rested his hands on the top of Oikawa’s chest.
Oikawa leaned in, his eyelids lowering as he gingerly ran his thumb across Sugawara’s cheek.
He paused, a breath away from the other boy.
“Koushi.”
Sugawara’s eyes fluttered open, silver fringe caught in confusion. His lips were parted slightly.
“Y-yeah..?”
“Do you remember how you said.. You said that we get one shot at the stars?”
Sugawara was so close. So agonizingly close. Oikawa could almost see his own reflection in the dark shimmer of those eyes.
“Oh, haha. Yeah, I do.” Oikawa’s reflection sparkled as Sugawara let out a bemused huff.
Oikawa sent a hand up to graze the stray slip of hair that had fallen into Sugawara’s face, tucking it back behind his ear. He tried to ignore the frantic begging from his heart, its pace matched to the hammered rain outside.
Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him, his heart implored.
He swallowed.
“What would you use it on? Your shot, I mean.” he asked quietly, back to stroking Sugawara’s cheek underneath his thumb.
Sugawara tilted his head in Oikawa’s palms as he considered the question.
“Oh.. um. I don’t really know. I hadn’t thought about it. How about you?”
“I already used mine.”
Sugawara’s eyebrows furrowed. Oikawa could count the creases between them, could kiss them smooth if he wanted to. He was that close.
“On what?”
Oikawa shrugged, fighting back his grin. “Oh, just a regular guy.”
Watching Sugawara’s confusion unfurl into understanding was like watching the day begin. Oikawa chuckled in spite of himself, pleased to see the blush blooming across Sugawara’s cheeks.
And then Sugawara laughed.
“God, that’s so- you’re so -” he stuttered in the breaths between.
Sugawara’s laughter was wide and warm and endless. Oikawa wanted to drown in the sound. He never wanted to listen to anything else. He’d make the world’s biggest fool of himself just to hear that laugh, over and over again, the clear stream of it pouring right across his heart.
Something deep within him snapped its restraints cleanly in two, leaping forth at last.
Oikawa did not wait for Sugawara to finish laughing before kissing him.
Their lips collided, jumbled at first in the momentum. Sugawara made a small surprised noise. But then his mouth softened as Oikawa felt him tilt his head upwards.
Sugawara moved his hands from the front of Oikawa’s shirt to the edge of his jaw, knuckles tracing the hard line before fingertips found their way upwards into his hair.
Oikawa melted into the kiss.
Sugawara was so soft.
Everything about him in this moment was soft and kind and lovely. His hair. His cheeks. His lips, god, his lips. His tongue, warm and tentative at first as it pressed at the seam of Oikawa’s mouth. Even his sighs were soft, shivering out as Oikawa tilted his head further.
The kiss wasn’t greedy, or hasty, or proud. They took their time with it, each tiny new movement a suggestion that was resoundingly approved. It was the kind of kiss that could only come with trust, with a deep understanding of one another.
I know how you feel about me, was what Sugawara said by wrapping his hands around the small of Oikawa’s back and pulling their bodies closer together.
And I know you feel the same way about me, was Oikawa’s unspoken response as he softly rolled Sugawara’s bottom lip between his own.
Oikawa thumbed the freckle right by Sugawara’s eye, cupped the rest of Sugawara’s face perfectly in his hands.
He smiled into the kiss as another flash of lightning seared the gym in white light again.
This truly was the best day ever.
______________________________
The rest of the world reeled on unflinchingly.
This was just a pair of people, tucked away on the volleyball court of some high school gym, holding each other tight.
Their lips pressed against each other had no impact on a solar system five thousand light years away.
Their hands, traced along jawlines and laced through hair, could not change the trajectory of an asteroid.
Their quiet sighs as they leaned further into each other could not break any kind of space time continuum.
But in that tiny place, protected by arched walls and the patter of rain against metal… in that space that would be considered obsolete when compared to the staggering scope of existence…
They did not need forever. They did not wish for eternal greatness and glory.
They did not ask for the future to remember, nor the past to forget.
All they asked for was already given, was right here at the touch of their fingertips, in the single breath shared between their mouths.
It was an infinitely small act of defiance in the face of an infinitely unbothered universe.
Like giving a papercut to an omnipotent god.
But maybe that is the beauty of the small things.
Things like an elaborate handshake between best friends, like a bag of milk bread fresh from the nearby bakery, like a perfect toss from a thoughtful setter. A strawberry cow. A handful of sports bars. A bandaid with watermelons on it.
They are too small, too insignificant to notice as they tear us apart and rebuild us again:
Softly. Kindly. Gratefully.
Our lungs run sore with laughter.
Our eyes blown wide with love.