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We Are #1

Summary:

They are silent for a moment, but it was only a moment, and the franticness of those four brains soon return and suddenly they’re all screaming.

(AKA, taking the quote "four girls one braincell" a bit too literally...)

Notes:

Hullo

Supposed to be posted as a joke fic for April Fools but things got out of hand and I , uh, ended up with this

Work Text:

There was a light, so bright and piercing that it filled the vast expanse of their house in sea of stark white. It happened with an earful of a shrill ring, like a piccolo being played on the highest note for five agonizing seconds and you weren’t able to cover your ears because it was too late.

But they were all asleep, four stars asleep on four beds inside four different rooms and all having four different dreams.

Until they wake up, four pairs of eyes flying open simultaneously, four pairs of lungs gasping in all at once.

Until they wake up, no longer in four separate beds, no longer having four different dreams, no longer four different stars in the sky of pop culture.

They wake up on the couch, with only two gasping lungs and two glass-like eyes.

The figure breathes in. They breathe in.

The four of them, all four brains, waking up to one confusing body.

They sit up stiffly, silent for a while, a whole minute passing through the unnerving quiet and the unnerving feeling of goosebumps shivering across their shared spine.

A hand moves slowly, turning it all the way until the palm faced upwards. Then the other hand follows, and the figureless face looks down on both without any clear expression on their blank and paper white features.

They are silent for a moment, but it was only a moment, and the franticness of those four brains soon return and suddenly they’re all screaming.

“WHAT THE FUCK—!”

“WHAT’S GOING ON—”

“HELLO—???”

“ASLJDAKFL—”

They lurch over the couch and grip head tightly, mind ringing as they all speak at once and a terrible throb pulses through their nerves and sends their thoughts reeling. They all wince at the abrupt pain.

“Ah!” They yelp together.

Their body remains bending over, seemingly glued in that spot as it freezes, stuck in that pose like a mannequin. Until one of them starts to speak again.

“Guys…?” the youngest one begins unsurely.

“DON’T talk…” another grunts, the usual sing-song voice now heavy and disgruntled. “It’s giving me a headache…”

“It’s giving ME a headache,” the third one joins, this voice radiating a familiar softness and an odd liking to the color purple.

“It’s giving us all headaches,” the fourth one adds, tone a little slurred and entirely annoyed. The rest of them picture gold viper eyes and that distinct sultry aura whenever this voice speaks.

They slowly relax, and then instantly tenses with horrific realization.

“WHAT IS THIS—!”

“AKALI!” the others shout as it sends another terrible pain throughout their shared nervous system. Their body curls over again in agony.

They feel lightheaded, and their chest begins to heave up and down.

“Okay,” the one who likes purple says breathlessly, “let’s all calm down for a sec.”

“Calm down!?” Akali rebukes, the body throws their hands up in accordance to her emotions. “Look at me! Look at us! How can we possibly—”

The figure harshly slaps them self. “Stop yelling!” Kai’Sa hisses in their head, her angry hushes echoing inside their shared cavern of thoughts. “You’re only making it worse.”

“Ow…”

“That kind of hurt, Bokkie…” Ahri says with a wince to her tone. The figure rubs at the sting on the side of their face.

“Sorry…”

“Wait,” they stiffen as Evelynn speaks, “do that again.”

“D-Do what?” Kai’Sa asks apprehensively.

“The YELLING??” Akali raises her voice. “BECAUSE I CAN DEFINITELY DO—”

Kai’Sa takes control of the right hand and they smack them self on the cheek again. “Quiet!”

“That,” Evelynn says as Akali’s whine surrounds them, “how did you do that?”

They look down at their hand, carefully curling each finger like they were something strange.

“I…” Kai’Sa chokes, “I don’t know. It was on instinct.”

The left hand moves, its wrist twirling around. “I can move too,” Ahri says slowly.

Suddenly their leg violently jerks upwards in a furious kick, sending their body off-balance and slipping off the couch with a hard thud.

“Akali!” Ahri reprimands. “Was that you??”

Akali groans. “Right, blame the youngest!”

“Sorry, that was me,” Evelynn says without any remorse. Akali snorts like an angry horse.

They groggily sit up on the floor, limbs stiff and unresponsive, for no one is currently in control.

“So wait,” Akali begins, her confusion causing the body to scratch their head. “Are we like…fused?”

“You don’t seem petrified anymore,” Kai’Sa comments dryly. The three of them practically feel Akali rolling her eyes.

“Well sorry, I happen to get slapped whenever I am.”

“Girls,” Ahri asserts with a deep sigh and a troubled aura. “This is bad.”

“You think?!” Akali squeaks indignantly and Kai’Sa immediately hisses at her to shut the fuck up.

“Worse things have happened,” Evelynn says nonchalantly. “One of us could have grown another set of ears on top the head, accompanied with a tail springing out from the buttocks.”

“Okay WOW.”

“That’d be true, tho,” Akali agrees and Ahri fumes.

“Alright,” Kai’Sa says steadily, “why don’t we try and stand? I kind of want to see what we…err…look like?”

They look down, allowing the four girls to examine their shared body through the transparent sheen of their eyes. They curl their hands experimentally and then brings those hands up to touch their face, trying to feel any distinct features.

They feel a nub at the center, most likely a nose, and the gentle curve of a chin. But there were no lips, no eyebrows, not even eyelids when they tried to blink, the rest of it all just a blank, smooth canvas.

Evelynn takes control of the legs and the figure wobbly stands from the floor. The first thing the girls notice was that their body was glowing, a beacon of light illuminating the otherwise surrounding darkness of the living room.

The four of them release a shuddering breath.

They walk unsteadily to the nearest bathroom with one hand clumsily turning the doorknob. And then they stand in front of the mirror, studying them self.

There was nothing appealing to look at.

“We look so weird,” Akali sniggers.

“We look like a plank,” Kai’Sa agrees good-humoredly. “No curves and all.”

“And no hair,” Evelynn adds in with disapproval.

Ahri groans. “Girls.”

“Sup.”

“Hmm?”

“What?”

“We have a meeting today.”

“Skip,” Akali answers like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

But Ahri growls. “We are NOT skipping. We have to figure out how to undo this…thing.”

“That might take some time,” Kai’Sa says unsurely.

“Do we ALL have to go, though?” Akali whines. “I don’t have the willpower to sit down and listen to them for like, five hours right now.”

“Ahri you go,” Evelynn says.

“I would be delighted to. If only one of you figures out how we can step outside without looking like a giant light bulb,” Ahri retorts.

“You take full control of the body, then.”

Ahri pauses. “What?”

“I think Eve’s right,” Kai’Sa says with some slight bewilderment. “For some reason I feel like that could work.”

“Try it unnie,” Akali urges.

“How??”  Ahri asks with disbelief. “Are we just going to ignore the fact that we’re a walking beam of sunshine?”

“With that attitude, yes,” Evelynn deadpans.

“Just try it,” Kai’Sa encourages gently. Ahri makes an uncertain sound.

She sighs after a minute and relents, though still unsure how to do that exactly. Ahri focuses instead, attempting to take hold of this uncanny vessel and trying to move all of it at once without the others overlapping their own control.

Then she feels it, she feels the others’ grip beginning to fade and get pushed back as hers get pulled forward.

Then the figure transforms, it shifts into a likeness of a woman. Long flowing hair cascades through their head like a curtain and two pointed ears begin to peek out, whisker marks appear on each cheek, and their body slowly shapes those familiar curves.

Those glass sheen of eyes start to color in a bright aqua blue like a drop of paint on a white canvas of sclera. She breathes in, picturing her own body standing there in her preferred attire.

A large tail curls behind her and there she was.

“Okay,” she says airily, finally in her own voice, hands gripping at the sink to steady herself. She still feels the other women’s presence looming around inside her head, all watching her expectantly. “Currently trying not to freak out about what just happened.”

The others were oddly silent, because what on earth were they supposed to say to this.

“Okay,” she says again, inhaling deep. She lifts her head and stares into the mirror sternly. “I have no idea what that was, but I’m going to let that slide for now. I’ll—we are going, but I’ll speak on behalf of us. After that, we’ll come back home and figure this out, capiche?”

She feels them nod.


Ahri

It had been an hour and a half since she sat down and listened to what these producers had to say, and for half of it she had muted them out and stared off into space, idly listening instead to the gentle ramblings of her bandmates going on inside her head that ran for comfort noise.

Well, their head, Ahri still isn’t sure what to think about that, and the others didn’t seem to want to dwell on the subject either.

“And then this guy came up to me and was like ‘Hey, so you’re the one who kept winning all these battles in the streets? You’re just a little girl’, and I didn’t care what this loser had to say but then he flipped the bowl of cereal I was eating so I punched him in the face—”

“All he had to do was flip your cereal,” Kai’Sa says dryly.

“Girl needed her breakfast, Bokkie,” Akali replies, voice tuned down for Ahri’s convenience if she was ever still paying attention to this meeting (which she still is, albeit with a slight doze).

Ahri feels the dancer nod and Akali continues on with her story about her early stages of rapping in the streets. It’s a rather interesting one, and one Ahri would divert her full attention to if she isn’t currently sitting down and looking prim. Evelynn seems to be enjoying herself though.

Several more minutes pass and the night finally catches up to her. Ahri clenches her jaw and stifles a yawn.

“So,” the head speaker says, “any oppositions?” Someone raises their hand and they start another discussion.

Ahri tries to listen (a new pop group on the rise? How curious…), but her vision starts to glaze and her head suddenly feels like a canopy bulging with bricks, she perches her chin on her hand to keep it from falling.

“I’ve had my fair share of fights as well.” That was Evelynn, and Ahri tunes her out since she knew very well what this story was about (it involved a lawyer and more lawyers and the FBI).

The PD’s keep talking and Ahri keeps trying to listen over the sudden weight of unconsciousness dragging her eyelids down.

“Ahri-shi,” someone gently nudges her on the side and Ahri snaps her head up. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s alright.” Ahri scratches her cheek and blinks, a staff is addressing her and she sits more upright.

The woman, Kim as Ahri should remember, smiles meekly and keeps her gaze. “If I may, we were wondering where the others are? We were sure to have the meeting scheduled for everyone to attend.”

“Oh.” Here it was, she had prepared for this question, Ahri senses the others stop and pay attention. “They had some…errands to run to, unfortunately, but it’s alright. I can relay anything important to them myself,” she reassures and hopes the woman wouldn’t probe any further, finagling wasn’t in her forte.

“We sure do have errands to run,” Akali remarks cheekily and Kai’Sa shushes her.

“I understand, though I hear this might go on for a while longer than we thought. Will they show up for the rest of the session?”

“I,” something pulses inside her chest and Ahri’s jaw twitches the slightest bit, what was that? “No I don’t, I don’t believe so.”

Her vision abruptly goes static, stinging and white like she’s looking through a thick plexiglass and dragging her consciousness down and slowing her thought process like it was running on Windows Vista. She starts with a terrible jolt and her knee jumps and hits the table underneath with a muffled thud.

“Ahri-shi?” Kim looks at her in concern and Ahri blinks her vision back rapidly.

She shakes her head. “I’m okay,” she assures, before a tingling sensation runs across her nerves and she clenches her fists. “I-I—”

Suddenly, she feels her insides start to glow, starting from a tiny point on her sternum before slowly expanding across her chest like pocket supernova scorching her bones.

She starts to sweat.

“So, Miss Ahri, what would you—Miss Ahri?” The head speaker calls out, but his voice was so far, muffled, all eyes are on her and Ahri exhales slowly.

“Uh-oh,” Akali says lowly, but her voice seems so far away too.

“Ahri?” Kai’Sa worries and Evelynn’s aura hovers around in alert.

“I’m alright,” Ahri breathes out, and a jolt in her spine forces her to stand up, the chair squeaks loudly against the tiled floor.

“Ahri-shi,” Kim reaches a hand out, “you look very pale, are you sure—”

“Excuse me,” Ahri says hastily with a watery smile and lifts her eyes, they were all watching her apprehensively. She moves to the door, “Joesonghabnida, I-I’m having a little,” she searches for a word, “uh…”

“Diarrhea.”

“Diarrhea,” she finishes and briefly flashes her teeth. “Excuse me.”

She runs out the door and into the hallway with staggering feet, leaving worried calls in her wake.

Ahri keeps her misty eyes on the floor and tries to steady her breathing that had gotten quite shallow for some reason, she counts to ten and ignores the dull ache in her temples.

She finds the restroom and Ahri quickly shoves herself inside. It was empty, thankfully, all the stall doors were open and Ahri locks the entrance/exit behind her with a pang and a click.

She leans her head against it and takes deep breathes.

Akali cackles.

“HAHAHA!”

“Oh hush,” Ahri grouches weakly and stares into the peach wall across from her. “I panicked.”

“I didn’t think you’d actually say it!” Her head buzzes with Akali’s chittering cackles. “Diarrhea!”

Ahri groans and slides down the door, hoping she doesn’t catch the germs on the restroom floor, that would add to all of her problems.

“What’s wrong?” Kai’Sa asks in concern. Bless her good soul.

Ahri looks down at her hands and widens her eyes. Her fingertips were glowing, a patch of white slowly etching across her palms where skin should be, ah shoot. “Time’s up, I suppose?” she murmurs unsurely and feels a tug at the edge of her mind. Crap. “I have to go back.”

“Darling, you’re not going anywhere looking like that,” Evelynn says and for once Ahri feels like she should listen. But she just needed more time. She balls her hands tightly and forces herself to stay in this form just a little longer.

“How about I take over?”

“Oooh like a tag team,” Akali says excitedly.

“Are you sure?” Ahri ventures, but that was actually quite a nifty idea right now. “They might get suspicious.”

“I’ll just tell them that you’re sick and had to call me in.” Practical, Ahri wants to kiss her. “Like a tag team.”

“Like a tag team!” Akali crows.

Ahri takes a breath. “Alright.”

She stands up and wobbles her way to the sink with an awfully lightheaded sensation. She grips at the porcelain and stares into the mirror.

Her reflection stares back at her. “Ready?” Ahri closes her eyes.

She surrenders to the pull and lets herself ease back into the corner of their cognition. Her blonde hair and fox ears fade, making way for dark locks and taller height and leaner frame. When she opens her eyes again, they were purple.

Kai’Sa

Kai’Sa sits silently and diligently, deciding to ignore the curious stares to avoid their questions, they had already asked enough and she can only answer so much.

The head speaker babbles on and unlike Ahri (currently arguing with the youngest but the dancer tunes them out because Ahri can get a little hissy when she’s annoyed), Kai’Sa actually has a degree of attentiveness to participate.

“You are so getting it once I have my body back.”

“It was so worth it.”

“Children,” Evelynn chastises, “Bokkie is working.”

The meeting takes another hour, and Kai’Sa feels tidbits of prickles behind her eyes.

Shoot.

“This is too early,” she whispers as quietly as she can.

“I might’ve hogged all our body time,” Ahri confesses, Kai’Sa swallows and concentrates.

It takes another ten minutes for the meeting to conclude and Kai’Sa had to force herself to stay seated. She felt the urge to bolt out of the building and go home as soon as she could.

“Now,” he announces with a smack of his hands, “I think that’s all for today, wouldn’t want to bore you all to death. Ah well,” he turns to Kai’Sa and offers an awkward smile, “I apologize, we didn’t know Miss Ahri was ill, we could have—”

“It’s fine.” Kai’Sa stands upright as poised and casual as she can. “It’s only a minor thing, she’ll be back on her feet in time for the next shoot,” she lies like a pro and Akali cheers her on.

The head speaker clears his throat. “I do hope she was well enough to go on her own.”

Her thoughts reel like a bonnet of buzzing gnats. “The others met up with her,” she says quickly, “Evelynn drove her home.” She really needed to go. “Now, if we’re done here…”

“Of course.” He nods and claps his hands again and Kai’Sa inches to the door. “Thank you all for coming, if anyone has questions don’t hesitate to call. Have a good day.”

She’s already out before anyone else can get up from their seats. She hears scurrying as the others prepare to leave but Kai’Sa walks ahead quickly like bugs were nipping hot at her heels.

“Head home now, right?” she asks, suddenly in a dire mood to talk and distract herself from the itching sensation niggling at the back of her cranium. She turns a corner and lets her legs do their thing.

“Yes,” Ahri answers, “and quickly.”

She half-runs and half-skips through the winding hallways in a flush and growing frenzy, but she keeps her cool and hardens her lips into an impassive line, she just needed to get out and head to the car.

Suddenly her vision clips into white, and Kai’Sa stumbles in her feet just as she was about to descend a short flight of stairs, she palms the wall and shakes her head rapidly.

“Woah there,” Akali comments and Kai’Sa pinches her eyes.

She hears distant chattering from behind. Kai’Sa rushes in the nearest room—the janitor’s.

She locks it behind her. It was small, a large yellow bucket and a mop was situated at the corner and single peg was nailed on the adjacent wall, hanging a black hooded coat. The bulb above her was dim, but Kai’Sa’s eyes were glazed to even notice.

“We have to go,” Ahri urges, Kai’Sa shakes her head.

“I need a minute.”

This isn’t exactly the right place to take a minute, dear,” Evelynn says, and her being the reasonable voice at the moment was enough to put Kai’Sa in some sort of panic. “We have to get to the car.”

She holds her breath and glances at her hands, they were starting to glow.

“You can’t tag team us bro,” Akali voices out and Kai’Sa almost wants to bite her because damnit that idiot was right. “You kind of gave us out, we’re currently nurturing our leader to health.”

“As you should,” Ahri deadpans.

Kai’Sa inhales deeply and tries to rationalize. She scans the tiny room, and then blinks.

She snatches the coat.

The door of the janitor room opens silently, Kai’Sa peaks outside, then hastily ventures off after finding the corridor empty. She starts for the exit.

She makes it out without any issue, thank the lord. The afternoon sun beams on her eyes and Kai’Sa pulls the hood down further over her face and half-sprints across the sidewalk and to the direction of the parking lot.

She keeps her head down. It would have been a nice stroll, not many people were out it seems and the breeze was light and sweet. She drags her sleeves down and continues on.

“Hey,” a deep voice hollers at her and Kai’Sa goes significantly faster. “Hey! You!”

“Keep going, Bokkie,” Akali says, scarily solemn. “Been working in the streets long enough to know that this guy’s a thug, never means good things.”

Kai’Sa doesn’t question that.

“Hey buddy!” Kai’Sa thinks ‘nope’ and strides faster.

She hears heavy footsteps behind her and she clenches her teeth. This disguise was working too well for her own good.

She makes a turn by a tall lamppost when a stern hand grabs at her shoulder.

Evelynn audibly hisses at the touch.

“Hey, pal,” Kai’Sa halts and turns her head cautiously, he has a scraggly beard and beady black eyes. Alarm bells ding in Kai’Sa’s head and she feels Akali getting anxious. “Why in such a hurry? Care to help an old chump out—” He pulls an object out of his back pocket and Kai’Sa spots a flash of something sharp and grey.

She doesn’t know how she did it, but her arm seemed to have a mind of its own and it went flying to slap the man in the face.

Smack!

“Run Bokkie!” Akali yells.

Kai’Sa takes a sharp breath and bolts it out of there.

“We ain’t getting mugged today.” The man spouts profanities behind her and hollers out names, Kai’Sa skids off to put more distance between them. “Turn here, we can’t let him follow us.”

“This was not how I expected our day to go,” Kai’Sa pants but turns to the alleyways anyway.

“Not when you’re a popstar maybe,” Akali snorts, “you’d be surprised how often this happens down here, and with that coat on you look like an easy target.”

“Has this happened to you before?” Ahri asks uneasily and Evelynn seems to be in silent rage.

“Once or twice, but eh, perks of being raised in a dojo, amirite?”

Kai’Sa sprints into the sunny lane with the man still in pursuit and being a harrowing weight on her shoulder tops. This chase wouldn’t have been a daunting exercise, but the pang in her temples return and she feels the tug pulling from her spinal cord like a deadly timer.

“Go, go, go!" She makes a hard left and towards a narrow path until someone roughly grabs her by the arm, dragging her to a building wall.

Kai’Sa gasps as her back hits the rough surface, but she keeps her head low and concealed. An arm pushes itself against her chest and another voice rings out, “Jack, I got him! Over here!”

Kai’Sa stiffens against his hold and she feels the others give out their cries of alarm, but one voice stood among the three.

“Bad touch, BAD TOUCH!”

And then she shifts, her height shortens significantly and her hair puffs out into rebellious tuffs poking under the hood.

Akali

“No means NO!” Akali leverages herself against the wall and pumps her legs into the thug’s chest, sending him stumbling backwards and hurtling towards a dumpster with a clang.

“Ag! You—”

Akali rushes forward before he can stand and uppercuts him on the chin, snapping his head straight up. His eyes roll back and he slumps onto the pavement, unconscious.

“Is he dead?” Ahri asks anxiously.

“Break his jaw,” Evelynn seethes.

“Just blacked out,” Akali replies, adjusting to the coat momentarily before shaking her wrist. “Been a while since I’ve done that. You good, Kai?”

“Yeah,” Kai’Sa says after a little pause, Akali feels the smile in her breathless tone. “Thanks.”

“Pog.” A series of shouts escalate from behind her and Akali’s muscle tense. “Do we run or fight?”

“Run!”

So Akali obeys, because she kind of has to, she sprints through the narrow alleyway and weaves in and out of winding turns like an agile cat, jumping over trash cans and slipping through tight crevices smoothly like butter.

The voices gradually keep up with her and Akali breaks out into the sun-soaked path once again.

Adrenaline is pulsing through her veins and Akali finds herself breaking into a ravishing smile despite it all. She hasn’t had this much thrill in so long.

“Ninja!” She jumps over a bench more enthusiastically than she intended. “Parkour!”

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Ahri shrills.

“Uh,” she skids into a stop and swiftly glances around the area. “Parking lot?”

“Forward,” Evelynn instructs, “you’re getting close, just keep running.”

“Hey!” A thug barks from the distance and Akali dashes off, her legs aren’t as long and swift as Kai’Sa’s, but Akali’s nimble movements allow her to effortlessly go through tight spaces like shadows. She was truly a ninja.

She follows Evelynn’s directions, taking cuts and turns to lose her pursuers and trying to get them off her tracks.

She looks back over her shoulder, seeing two of those ruffians stomping angrily in the distance. “Are they really that desperate chasing me all the way here?”

“Akali!”

Akali jerks her neck front and center, another man stands there blocking her path with outstretched arms and Akali decides—without any hesitation—to just charge at him like a bull and knock him over with her inertia.

He stays where he is and braces himself, Akali also decides that he must be very stupid.

They collide, but Akali swipes her elbow across his face before he can grab her. “Agh!”

Get him, rogue,” Kai’Sa edges her on despite herself.

He doesn’t go down like the previous one, much to the rapper’s chagrin, he reaches out and yanks her by the coat instead.

Akali twists herself free and ducks as he throws a punch at her, and then she knees him downstairs as hard as she can.

That sends him mewling, Akali uppercuts him on the jaw just for good measure and he falls to the ground with a grunt and a hand between his legs.

“Whoo!”

“Hell yeah! High five!” Akali cheers and raises her right hand, Kai’Sa briefly takes control of the left arm and they smack their hands together in a clap/high five.

“Oh you two.”

“I’d hate to break the celebration, ladies,” Evelynn interrupts bluntly, “but our admirers are still in pursuit.”

Akali looks back. “Go, go!” Kai’Sa urges, and off Akali goes.

She leaps over a broken chain link fence, snagging the lower half of her coat in the process and shredding the black fabric.

“Ah,” she eyes the shredded parts with disdain (it was actually a nice coat) before shaking her head and keeps running.

She arrives at the parking lot, tucked away underneath a building and crowded with cars, Akali skips in between the vehicles to hide herself. “Which one is ours again?”

“Red,” Evelynn replies and Akali stretches her neck upwards to find it.

“There!” Ahri yips and Akali spots in time when she hears rapid footsteps hot at her tail. She curses. This is getting annoying.

She races through the lot as stealthily as she can, trying to inch towards Evelynn’s car without drawing too much attention.

She fails, Akali bumps into the wrong door and the foreign car honks loudly in alarm.

“You! Get back here!” Oh sugar honey iced tea.

Akali pulls down her hood and darts for it, shoving her hand in her jeans pocket where the keys should be. She makes it to the snazzy car and pings it, unlocking the doors.

She throws herself in the driver’s seat frantically and grips at the steering wheel like it was her lifeline. “Dear god,” she pants.

“I think they saw you,” Kai’Sa comments unsteadily and does absolutely nothing to help soothe Akali’s nerves. She’s starting to feel that headache in the back of her mind.

The two men approach the car in either sides menacingly and Akali visibly sweats and sinks in her seat, her fingers start to tremble and her vision flashes in static.

“Guys,” she mumbles breathlessly, “a little help.”

And at once, her fingernails lengthen, her sturdy and strong frame turns into voluptuous shapes and her pupils thin into terrifying slits.

Evelynn

The man goes to bash the car window apart, but it rolls down just as his fist was about to collide with it.

“Gentlemen,” Evelynn greets them sweetly with a wicked smile and flashing gold eyes, the large hood of the coat is drawn back to reveal her full alluring visage. “May I help you?”

“M-Ma’am..!” He stutters and pales at the sight of her and Evelynn almost wants to coo at his petrified expression. He bows his shaggy head. “M-Miss Evelynn, I’m sorry, w-we thought you were someone else.”

Evelynn hums, good to know she was known even around these dreadful parts. “Is that so? You were about to bash down my window, darling.”

He blushes scarlet and pulls at his shirt collar at the pet name, Evelynn mentally seethes. “We’re sorry, w-we didn’t know—” his partner nudges him on the ribs. “Ah, we’ll leave you alone, miss. Sorry again.”

She watches them scamper away in a flush as they continue on with their search, scratching their heads and exchanging harsh whispers as they go. Evelynn turns her head forward and stares into the steering wheel.

She doesn’t turn on the car, Evelynn chews the inside of her cheek and thinks.

“Eve…” Ahri warns, sensing a diabolical aura within Evelynn’s thoughts. This did not mean good things.

Evelynn smiles the slightest bit. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me, siren,” Ahri hisses. “I know that look, you better not do anything dangerous.”

Evelynn says nothing, and that seems to confirm their leader’s assumptions.

She clicks open the car door.

Kai’Sa’s panic and Ahri’s admonish and Akali’s realization follow immediately after.

“Eve, what are you doing, DRIVE!”

“Evelynn I swear to god—”

“Oh shit…”

“Gentlemen,” Evelynn greets again with false sweetness as she pads up to them. “I may have some problems with starting up my car, will you two be a darling and help me find the problem?”

Her natural charm is successful and the two ruffians eagerly follow her back to the Mercedes-Benz.

Evelynn motions to the “problem” in the back seat and the men move to peer inside to see what it is, Evelynn’s eyes twinkle from behind them.

A minute later, she shoves their wriggling bodies into the seats, using the ripped strands of the shredded coat to tie their hands and feet and gag their mouths as they whimper out muffled cries against the fabric.

Evelynn settles back into the driver’s seat, buckling her seatbelt and starting the ignition with an air of nonchalance like it was only another normal day.

The others are silent as they regard her.

“Eve,” Ahri breaks the silence, “what are you going to do?”

Evelynn hums. “Ever wondered what happened to those missing male celebrities?”

She feels them stiffen and Evelynn smiles with an ounce of humor in her voice. “I usually settle this alone but…I suppose it can’t be helped, can it?”

The two tied-up men widen their eyes at her words, and Evelynn flashes her fangs mischievously.

She backs away from the parking space. “Now, do me a favor,” she tells the girls in her head, “and be quiet.”


When they finally return home, Evelynn has a satisfied smile on her face. “Wasn’t that fun?”

No it wasn’t.

She gets no response as she closes the door. Evelynn laughs and makes her way into the main area. “Hungry?”

“No thank you.”

“Nah I’m good.”

Ahri sighs tiredly. “We’re home at least, and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m exhausted.”

“We did have quite a run,” Kai’Sa agrees and Evelynn meanders to the living room and settles comfortably on the couch.

“A nap can be arranged,” she says, resting her head against the backrest as it had become a huge weight on her shoulders. “What do you think, rogue?”

“Yes,” was Akali’s eager answer. Evelynn exhales softly and closes her eyes, letting herself drown into the unknown regions of her subconscious.


When Evelynn wakes up, she finds herself entangled in two pairs of arms.

Kai’Sa was leaning on to her right side, head resting on Evelynn’s shoulder and dark hair splayed across her face. Ahri was nestled on her left, her own head tucked underneath the crook of Evelynn’s chin and framing the diva’s face with her fox ears.

Akali was sprawled face down across all of their laps, snoring.

Evelynn opens her eyes slowly and adjusts to the light, then perks up as she sees them all.

Her movements cause Kai’Sa and Ahri to stir with a groan. “Huh?” Kai’Sa rubs at her eye before stiffening as she gapes at her hands like they were the most fascinating thing she has ever seen.

“Well hello,” Evelynn teases and Ahri widens her eyes and looks around. “Never thought I’d be trapped in a cuddle pile today, this is nice.”

“We’re back,” Ahri says quietly, then more happily, “We’re back! We’re here, we—Akali!” Her face instantly contorts in annoyance and she grabs the snoring rapper on her shoulders.

“Whuh—huh?” Akali snorts awake and lifts her head groggily, before being shoved unto the carpeted floor. “Ah!”

“You are so getting it, rogue!” Ahri tackles her down and the two wrestle it out on the floor, Akali tries to defend herself in drowsy confusion.

Kai’Sa laughs breathlessly at them as she weaves her hands in her hair, pulling her legs over the seat of the couch and rubbing her face. “I feel so lightheaded,” she mumbles against her hands.

“Me too,” Evelynn grunts and Kai’Sa massages her temples. “Like an awful hangover.”

Kai’Sa chuckles and moves to stand. “I’ll get us some water.”

Evelynn nods appreciatively as Kai’Sa departs. She leans her head back and closes her eyes again, listening to Ahri’s irritated yips and Akali’s groggy noises of surrender.

Whew. What a day.

DA END

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