Chapter Text
Beloved Noelle,
I have been doing great, especially after reading your letters. I’ve been fine, really, so do think about yourself too. Oz, my raven, takes care of me well and it’s always good for me since I have a companion around.
I’d love to see anything made by you, do send them over to me if you can. Any clothes that you give me will be the very best, for it’ll be the exclusive and the only set to exist in the world. After all, custom-made pieces are the best for a princess, correct? I’m absolutely delighted to hear that you’ve been reading well! I’m waiting earnestly for more volumes of “Flowers for Princess Fischl” to be released. In fact, I’ve asked my parents to keep a ready eye for when they are, and they can get me the freshest copies in the store. Of course, when they’re back from their expeditions.
Royals, of course, always knotted up with royal duties. What is this polaroid that you speak of, Noelle? Something about pictures? I’d love to see a few one day if you could show me. Truthfully, anything from you is a gift.
Likewise, I hope to see you soon. Write back to me when you can.
With royal regards,
Your princess,
Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort.
- - -
And so they kept writing, always learning and keeping an eye out for new things to tell each other. As the days went by, they began picking up on even the littlest details of their lives, how Noelle found the intricacies of a leaf interesting or how Fischl would, one day, like to be as free as Oz and soar through the sky. Their interactions were something they’ve grown to learn to keep a secret, learning how to hide the letters in any empty nook or cranny.
Over time, Noelle started to realise feelings that she’d been carrying in her chest for a long time but failed to acknowledge any earlier. They were soft ones, gentle ones that made her feel light and airy. They were feelings that only came to her when she held Fischl’s letters beneath her fingertips, or wondered what she’d do the next time she saw Fischl’s face. It was a journey for Noelle before she realised it wasn’t typical to want to kiss your acquaintance on the lips.
These feelings, though, were ones that Noelle could not speak of to Fischl. New to Noelle, they felt forbidden. Out of fear of ruining their connection as princess and maid, Noelle kept them to herself, locked away into the deepest depths of her heart until one day, she would eventually get over them.
If only she knew that Fischl felt the same.
On a day particularly darker than the rest, where the sun is barely seen past the cover of the clouds, Noelle found herself meeting an unexpected guest. She sat by the seat next to her window, her head leaned against the glass as she pondered in silence. Thunder grumbled lightly outside, the streets now much more quiet with the cold winds blowing. It’s then when she caught the figure of a frail blonde turn towards her doorstep.
Her heart stops in her chest upon realising who it is, partially out of utter surprise of seeing her here and maybe because it starts to hit her that something isn’t quite right.
Noelle, at her quickest, scrambles downstairs, desperate to not have her family see Fischl outside. She grabs a coat and yells, “Mother, I’ll be back home!”
Her mother, confused, came hurrying out of the kitchen but only found the front door being blown open and a handful of leaves scattered across the floor. Noelle grabbed Fischl by the wrist and pulled her along as she ran down the street, turning at a corner where her parents wouldn’t be able to find her. She stopped under the bare shade of an apple tree, holding Fischl’s two wrists in front of her, her chest rising and falling heavily.
“Fischl! I didn’t know you knew the way to my house—” Noelle was cut off when she felt Fischl’s fingers tighten around her palms. Fischl didn’t lift her head but Noelle’s heart clenched upon hearing sniffles in front of her. Noelle took a step closer and she started to notice Fischl trembling.
“My parents— They want to move away. Far away, across the country,” Fischl sobbed quietly, unable to meet Noelle’s eyes. Noelle, on the other hand, felt her chest tighten, her heart lodged in her throat. Her lips parted in shock.
“But you sounded fine in the last letter? I mean—it’s only been a month since we last communicated and—” Noelle tries to reason with Fischl. Fischl’s hands fell to her sides as she clenched her fists. Her fingernails dug into her palms deeper with each passing second, hurting more and more. Though, at that moment, no feeling was more sickening than the one Fischl already felt.
“My parents think I’m crazy. They think I’m mad that I’m already 14 but can’t get out of my stupid fantasy,” Fischl sniffles.
“Is there nothing you can do? Maybe you could—”
“It never works! They don’t get me like you do, Noelle, no one ever does!” Fischl’s neck finally snapped up but it never struck Noelle how much it would hurt to see her princess in tears. Tears streamed down her face, pelting down hard like the rain around them. Noelle felt hopelessness like never before but it was impossible for her to show.
“When do you have to go?” Noelle mutters.
“My train’s in a week.”
Noelle choked up, in complete disbelief about the situation unraveling around her.
“Will I ever be able to talk to you again?”
“I don’t even know my new address,” Fischl lowers her gaze.
“Was it not possible for me to know of this earlier?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you without— Well, a princess must never burden her maid with her own problems, right?” Fischl laughed out in a pained tone. Noelle’s thoughts froze. Something about Fischl’s excuse hit her in a way that couldn’t be cushioned. You need to let her go, Noelle. She has to go out there and learn to be good but she’ll never be able to do that with you holding her down to this.
So Noelle smiled, the fakest but most joyout one. The smile of a dutiful maid. “I wish you all the best on your adventures then, my princess.”
Fischl’s eyes widened in shock as they met Noelle’s, but Noelle’s smile didn’t wipe itself. It stayed arched on her lips, never moving. Fischl reached a hand forward to Noelle’s but ultimately took it back. You need to grow up, Fischl. Everyone around you is growing and one day, you’ll be left behind in this cold world.
And Fischl smiled, the fakest but most glistening one. The smile of a chivalrous princess.
Somewhere, sandwiched under a stack of books or perhaps stuffed in a drawer, are a letter each, coated thickly in dust and sealed with bright, crimson wax. Fischl’s unspoken wishes, the words of a restrained princess desperate to hold her regal facade together. Noelle’s concealed feelings, the emotions of a meekly servant only ever wanting the best for her princess.
- - -
Dearest Princess,
This is a letter to you that I might never get the courage to send. Perhaps, one day, if the world allows, I'll be able to convey these feelings to you but for now, out of appreciation for our current relationship, I will keep this to myself.
Recently, I have found myself admiring you in a manner that isn't limited to just a servant for her superior. When I get letters from you, I find that my day is made, and when I think about you, I feel my heart flutter beneath my chest. I have never felt this way for anyone, but I've grown to realise what it is. My princess, I think I might be in love with you. Quite deeply and sincerely. One day, I hope to braid your hair with Cecilias and caress you dearly. Do know, that all that I do, I do while thinking of you.
It makes me happy to know that you now have some of my possessions, like the picture of me in a new dress, and the sweater I've knitted. I've even started to grow flowers, ones just for Princess Fischl, just as in the book. I may not be able to express my feelings but I hope you feel them just as strong.
Mein Fräulein, I care about no one as much as I do you. You will always, always, be close to my heart if never in distance.
With love,
Your loyal servant (and admirer),
Noelle.