Chapter Text
IT WAS NEARING NOON AND THERE WAS STILL NO SIGN OF THE DETECTIVE. Namikawa pushed his sleeve up just enough to triple check the time on his watch. His gaze then lifted, flickering towards the large window that ran the length of the cafe front. Right as he did, he caught a glimpse of someone rather familiar starting to walk away and across the street. Touta Matsuda. He lost sight of him soon after and a light sigh parted his lips.
What was that about?
Namikawa grasped the straw of his drink between his thumb and forefinger and stirred it around in the glass, hearing the cubes of ice clink against the side as he did so. After taking one final sip, he leaned back in his chair and let his arms fold loosely across his chest. So, did that mean they weren't going to be having lunch? And after he'd come all this way... Namikawa shook his head and stayed right where he was.
He didn't chase after people.
If Matsuda rather be elsewhere doing who knows what, then fine. Namikawa's feelings weren't hurt any. It made little difference to him. Though, he did find the detective's behavior somewhat rude. If he was planning on not showing up, he should have at least contacted him beforehand. Now, they'd both had their time wasted. He picked up his phone, checking for any missed calls or new messages. Yet, there was nothing. Even a simple 'Sorry, something came up!' would have sufficed. Unfortunately, there was no such text to be found.
Oh well. He was already here. He might as well order something to eat for himself.
Namikawa never got the chance.
He was distracted by the sky opening up and unleashing a sudden downpour of rain. It was loud. Looking out the window, he watched as thousands of water droplets hit the pavement. He watched some people open up their umbrellas, and others run for cover. He gave another sigh and picked up his phone, pressing it to his ear to make a call. A call for his driver. The sooner he got home, the better. Luckily, his driver was just down the street. As Namikawa waited, he paid for his drink and then stood by the door so he could gaze out at the gray, dreary world before him.
A thought nagged at the back of his mind.
Had Matsuda brought an umbrella?
Namikawa did not remember seeing one in his hand.
Oh well. There was little he could do about it.
MATSUDA'S CLOTHES WERE SOAKED THROUGH. He really should have gone back for his umbrella. Idiot. There was water in his shoes and his pants stuck to his legs and his suit jacket and shirt were drenched. Even his underwear was wet! He was dripping from head to toe and shivering from the cold. The rain had started as he was walking back and he got caught up in the downpour with no protection from the onslaught of falling water.
Wrapping his arms around himself, Matsuda made a sharp turn into a small alleyway of sorts. Then, he slid his back down the brick wall of the closest building and stayed crouched on the ground in what was almost a fetal position. Arms around his legs. Face buried in his knees. Being soaked had another downside. His whole body was now trembling all over, teeth chattering away. He thought maybe this would help. Being up against a building like so. Maybe the building had some sort of overhanging ledge? Or something... anything.
This day was turning out pretty shitty, huh?
First, he stood a poor guy up. Leaving Namikawa in there all by himself without even sending a message beforehand saying he couldn't show was a total asshole move, wasn't it? The guilt was starting to seep in... like the rainwater seeping into his socks. Soaking his feet. Now, he was drenched and stuck in the rain. Even worse, he was going to be late heading back into work after his lunch break. The Chief would surely scold him for this.
The detective gripped his pants in tight fists, trying to curl in on himself even more. Trying to make himself small. Maybe he'd just vanish if he was small enough. Matsuda even felt like crying... It was just one of those days. A hand lifted, wet fingers running through wet hair. Everything was wet. He figured he should start heading back to the building... there was probably a spare set of clothes there. He hoped so. Yet, he didn't want to move. He couldn't bring himself to. Despite being rained on, he had no motivation to even get up and put an end to his problem.
Matsuda was just going to sit and sulk, his eyes stinging. Tears threatening to spill.
And then, the rain suddenly stopped.
There was no more water beating down on his head or his back. Slowly, he lifted his gaze and brown eyes went wide.
"Detective."
There Namikawa stood, holding his umbrella in a way that shielded them both from the rain. Matsuda was left momentarily speechless. What was he doing here?! He was frozen in place for quite a while before he came back to life. Standing up quickly, he shuffled closer.
"Namikawa-"
"You're hard to find, detective."
Shivering once again, Matsuda put his arms around himself like before. Fingers squeezed at the soaked fabric. He slowly dropped his gaze back down to the ground. He stared at the pavement between his dress shoes, too sheepish to look at the man who had found him. The man who was aiding him.
"I'm sorry…"
The detective's apology was breathless. It was pathetic. He was sure it wouldn't be heard over the surrounding precipitation. And, for a while afterwards, Namikawa said nothing. All he did was stand there. He could feel himself being watched. He had half a mind to take off running. To leave again. To go hide away. The only thing keeping Matsuda still was knowing that, if he did leave, he'd be causing poor Namikawa even more trouble. Eventually, the awkward silence was broken.
"I'll be in the car. You have one minute. If you'd like to come with me, you're welcome to. Otherwise, I'll be going home myself, and you can return to..." Namikawa paused, giving the soggy young man a once-over. "Work, if that's where you were previously."
After he said what he needed to say, he gave Matsuda his umbrella and then swiftly returned to his car just as he said he would. He ducked his own head to avoid as much rain as he could on his short journey. And the detective? He was left standing there. Speechless. Drowning in guilt once more. Why was Namikawa being so nice to him? And after he stood him up, no less. Matsuda didn't deserve such… kindness. Keeping his head down, he gripped the umbrella tighter. Until his knuckles were white.
The guys at work would surely be upset if he just... vanished for the day. He should really get back... Not returning to work would be completely unprofessional...
Unfortunately for Matsuda, his actions did not line up with his thoughts. In a rather hasty manner, he jogged to where the car was parked. He climbed in and shut the umbrella. And, once the door was finally shut, he felt as if he could breathe again. Without the constant barrage of water, he could hear more clearly and think even clearer. Though, that led to some rather intrusive thoughts that did nothing but damage his psyche. If he wasn't beating himself up over this before, he most certainly was now.
With his eyes shut tight, Matsuda leaned his forehead against the window. He was still dripping and he was thankful that Namikawa had leather seats. Otherwise, his would have been soaked through by now. Unlike his first ride in this car, he wasn't curious. Nor was he intrigued. Or excited. He wasn't even nervous. He just felt awful. He felt sick to his stomach, so he wrapped his arms around it. The detective made himself as small as possible in the seat, remaining pressed against the door so he was as far from Namikawa as he could be.
Namikawa only spared him a glance, not saying anything, either. The entire ride to the house was silent.
NAMIKAWA'S HOME. The first time he was here, he had been in complete awe, looking upon everything surrounding him with wide eyes. Now, it wasn't quite the same. Matsuda still felt guilty for what he had done and the trouble he was causing. He didn't think he deserved such hospitality. It was hard to feel any kind of excitement under these conditions.
Upon stepping through the front door, he was quick to slip his wet shoes off, not wanting to track any more water inside than necessary. Then he stood up straight and caught the other man's eye. Both men remained silent for quite a while, until the lack of sound and the staring became unbearable for the detective.
"Um..."
After trailing off, he suddenly bowed his head.
"Thank you again for-"
"Follow me."
Stepping out of the genkan, Namikawa began walking farther and farther from the entrance. He didn't look back. He left Matsuda standing there, a puddle forming underneath his feet. He would have followed, but if he did that, he'd track water all the way through a house that wasn't his. He was already giving Namikawa a difficult time. He'd hate to add to that.
"But... if I-"
"I'd rather not repeat myself."
So, in the end, Matsuda did follow behind the other man with his arms around himself. He still felt cold and his wet socks squished with every step he took. Namikawa soon stopped at a door which he opened, turning the lights on afterwards. It was a bathroom. He turned to his guest, stepping to the side so he could make his way in.
"Wait here. I'll be back in a moment."
With that, he was off once again. And all Matsuda could do was what he'd been told to. He just stood there and waited for Namikawa to return. Like a dog who'd been told to sit and stay.
Thankfully, for the detective's sake, Namikawa returned only a few moments later with clean clothes in his hands. They were nothing special. Just a plain white button up, slacks, and underwear. Still, Matsuda found the gesture incredibly sweet. He was unable to hold back a smile as he took the clothes.
"Thank you so much."
"You'll find a towel in the closet. Feel free to take a bath. And, before I leave, give me the clothes you're wearing. I'll wash them for you."
"Are you... sure? I can just dry off and leave. You've already done more than enough for me."
"Yes. I'm sure. Now, your clothes, detective."
The man looked down at himself. First, he took off his suit jacket and his tie and the wet socks from his feet. He felt guilty, putting his soaked clothes in Namikawa's upturned hands. He fumbled a little as he unbuttoned his shirt, but he was more than relieved to finally peel it off his body. The more he stripped, though, the more embarrassed he felt. Sure, Namikawa had already seen everything there was to see, but it still felt inappropriate for him to be taking his clothes off in front of another man. Soon enough, he was standing in only his underwear. They were far less damp than his pants had been, but still damp regardless. With his cheeks flushed pink, he turned his back on the Yotsuba man to slip them off. Namikawa took them without a word and left, the sound of the bathroom door shutting signifying his departure.
Matsuda was all alone. Naked, cold, and damp. Right now, nothing sounded better than a nice, hot bath and dry clothes. Still, the guilt that had been building up inside and twisting his stomach up into knots threatened to spill. To make him burst. He rubbed his stomach with the palm of his hand, gazing at the floor underneath his feet. Why was Namikawa being so kind to him? He brought him to his home and let him use his bath and gave him clean clothes to wear. All Matsuda had done was walk away.
They wouldn't even be in this mess if he had just gone inside to have lunch. He really was an idiot.
Putting his hands to his face, he sighed before turning on the hot water and filling up the bathtub. As awful as he felt accepting this hospitality, he wasn't going to pass up on Namikawa's kind gestures. He was already going out of his way for him. The least Matsuda could do was be grateful.
AFTER NAMIKAWA SHUT THE BATHROOM DOOR, HE MADE HIS WAY TO THE WASHING MACHINE. He put the detective's clothes in it along with some detergent and then pressed start. It didn't take long for him to hear the sound of running water coming from the direction of the bathroom. Good. That meant the detective was bathing.
Letting out a sharp exhale, he smoothed down the front of his own button up with his hands before starting off towards the kitchen. He hadn't gotten the chance to eat earlier. Neither of them had. So, why not prepare a small meal for the two of them? He could cook, at least enough to sustain himself. So, he set to work on finding and preparing all the necessary ingredients for the dish he had decided on. The first thing Namikawa did was fill a pot with water which he then began to boil.
As he waited for the water to heat up, he began mixing the ingredients necessary for the sauce up in a smaller bowl. That only took a few minutes and then he set it off to the side. With that out of the way, he could finally start cutting. Onions, mushrooms, green bell peppers, and sausage. All of it needed to be cut up. The cutting was probably his favorite part of preparing any meal. It was easy and repetitive and almost… relaxing in a way. In fact, Namikawa was so engrossed in his vegetable cutting, that he didn't hear the sound of the bathroom door opening.
Matsuda had done his best to bathe quickly. It wasn't like he was dirty or anything. He had showered and bathed just this morning! Since, well, he was supposed to have gone on a date. The bath was just to warm him up and, once he was warm, he got out and dried himself off. Namikawa's clothes were a little big on him, but not by much at all. They had similar enough figures. As the detective left the steamy bathroom, his nose was greeted with a nice aroma. It smelled like meat and onions and ketchup. And, as he followed the scent, he could hear the sound of boiling water and a knife against a cutting board.
Namikawa was cooking?
Matsuda lingered in the doorway for a moment to watch. His brown gaze followed Namikawa's every move, his expression softening when the other man put noodles into the boiling water to cook. It didn't take Matsuda long to realize what was being made, and this knowledge was enough to make him smile. Without warning, he approached Namikawa from behind.
The detective's fingers lifted and he subconsciously tucked a strand of Namikawa's silky hair behind his ear, just so it would be out of his face. But, Matsuda wasn't even all that aware of his own actions, too busy staring down into the pot on the stove.
"You're making Napolitan?"
The detective's sudden, gentle touch would have startled Namikawa, but he had heard him approaching. He wasn't nearly engrossed enough in cooking that he would be completely oblivious to another man coming up behind him. Though, having his hair moved out of his face did catch him somewhat off-guard. Namikawa was thankful nonetheless, yet kept that thought to himself. He didn't even bother looking at Matsuda, now starting to add all his cut ingredients into a frying pan that was also on the stove.
"I am."
"My mom used to make this for me all the time when I was a kid. It was one of my favorites! I haven't had it in years…"
He continued to watch Namikawa cook, his smile remaining all the while. He was too busy reminiscing childhood memories to be sad now. He just folded his arms across his chest and listened to the sausage and vegetables sizzling in the pan. Ahhh… and the smell of the garlic… Matsuda closed his eyes to inhale and then sighed out, clearly content.
"Well, I didn't make this specifically for you, detective. I just wanted to put together a quick, simple dish. I'm hungry. I'm sure you feel the same."
Oh. Yeah. Matsuda had almost forgotten that they'd both missed lunch. All because of him…
That put a damper on his mood.
Once the noodles were done cooking, everything was mixed together in the pan and then Namikawa fixed two plates of the ketchup spaghetti. He set them both at the table and took a seat. Matsuda followed suit. He thanked Namikawa for the meal and, sheepishly, picked up his chopsticks to eat. The first few minutes were, once again, completely silent. Mostly because they were eating. Still… the silence was getting to the detective. And, well, the tension was so thick that it was palpable. It was like a heavy weight was pressing down on his shoulders.
After swallowing one more bite of his late lunch, Matsuda laid the chopsticks down and looked up at the Yotsuba man.
"Namikawa…?"
"Yes?" He asked without making eye contact.
"I really meant it… when I thanked you. Thank you for inviting me here and letting me borrow your clothes and making lu-"
"You don't have to keep thanking me."
"But, I do!"
Blurted the man, his expression immediately falling. Like rain. Like the sudden downpour he had been caught up in. The raise in his volume had been enough to finally get Namikawa's undivided attention. He thought Matsuda's pouting face was pitiful…
He really was like a puppy. A sad puppy being scolded.
Except, Namikawa wasn't scolding him.
In fact, Namikawa was doing the exact opposite. He was being kind. Too kind. Matsuda… hated it. He was being generous yet not saying a word. It irked him. He would have preferred getting reprimanded.
"I… made you chase after me in the pouring rain. I got water all over your house and probably ruined your whole day. You went out of your way for me… and all I did was cause problems for you. I'm really sorry, Namikawa."
"Don't misunderstand me, detective. I didn't chase after you. I could have easily left you out in the rain, but in the end I didn't. Having said that, whether you stayed out there or came with me when I offered… I wouldn't have cared either way. It would have made little difference to me. You're thinking too deeply about this. Just eat."
Namikawa's words were sharp. Colder than the rain. They hit him and dug their way underneath his skin like needles. He flinched and dropped his head but remained quiet. Matsuda picked up his chopsticks to eat again.
Then, again, it was him who broke the silence only a minute or so later.
"Namikawa…?"
"Yes?"
"Aren't you… going to ask why I ran away?"
"Am I supposed to?"
This man really could be so terribly harsh sometimes.
"I just figured that…"
"Figured what?"
Matsuda hung his head again. It was like every word he said made him feel more and more stupid about this whole situation.
"Why did you… invite me out to lunch?"
"Didn't I already tell you?"
Namikawa had practically finished his portion by now, setting down his own chopsticks and using a napkin to wipe his face.
"It was an excuse to get me out of something else. Something tedious that would have just wasted my time."
"And that! That's why I didn't have lunch with you."
The detective eventually blurted out. It was hard to admit, but it wasn't nearly as hard as coming up with an excuse to confess it had been. Namikawa hadn't bothered to ask and he didn't want to bring it up out of nowhere.
"I'm sorry?"
"You… I was looking forward to it. But, when I remembered that you were just using me, I kind of… panicked. I didn't want to go inside or see you… So, I just left."
"Using you?"
"That's what I said…"
Namikawa suddenly gave a laugh. As if something funny had happened. His laughter set the detective's face ablaze.
"I didn't take you for the sort to make baseless accusation like that, detective."
"Baseless? Hey, wait! It's not baseless at all!"
"Then, please, show me your evidence. You do have evidence to back up your claim, don't you?"
Matsuda could feel the other man's gaze boring into him. Nothing made him feel smaller than the unwavering, harsh stare directed at him and only him. It was like being inspected and scrutinized underneath a microscope. He couldn't help but squirm a little in his chair.
"Well to start… you had sex with me for no reason and looked through my phone and gave me your number. And this all happened because you spoke to me outside that one night… Obviously you had known enough about me to know that I was a detective, so not knowing me can't be your excuse as to why you spoke up… And then, today, you even admitted it. Admitted that you were using me to get out of something else… I think all of that is more than enough evidence to prove what I said."
Incidentally, after Matsuda had finished speaking, they both exhaled in sync.
"No offense, but if I were going to use a police detective, I'm sure there are far better to choose from."
Dark brows furrowed at Namikawa's reply. Matsuda was startled that that was Namikawa's first rebuttal. Of anything he could have said, it was that Matsuda would never be his first pick when it came to using a detective for his own gain. Having expected an entirely different reaction, he was rendered speechless and confused and he scratched at his head with a finger. Was that an insult or was it supposed to leave him feeling comforted?
In the end, Matsuda could think of only one response, "Thank you?"
"Detective, your personal interpretations, feelings, and lack of confidence hardly count as concrete evidence. They're more circumstantial than anything. I do commend your effort, though."
The detective felt foolish. Getting told off about his evidence not being sound enough. He was the detective here! Not Namikawa!
But, did this mean he was wrong? Namikawa hadn't confirmed or denied anything he said, but he was doing his best to dispute the evidence being brought forth. Why would Namikawa be telling him that his proof was no good if he agreed with it? With these thoughts now soaking in, he picked up his chopsticks and finished eating his lunch in only a few bites. When he looked back at Namikawa, he had on a wide smile. It stretched from ear to ear.
"So… I was wrong?"
Instead of answering, Namikawa stood up and took both of their plates. He carried them away without looking at his house guest even once. He kept his back to Matsuda the entire time.
"It's still raining. Feel free to stay until the storm passes."
Now, Namikawa was making excuses for him to stay! All of Matsuda's previous doubts had suddenly melted away, just like that. He was left with nothing but the same giddy excitement he had felt when he first saw the Yotsuba man's number in his phone.
THE RAIN STILL HADN'T LET UP. Yet, neither man seemed to mind that too terribly much. It had gotten pretty late. Matsuda hadn't bothered going back to work, which he would surely get a mouthful for at a later date. Oh well. It was sort of… worth it. To spend the rest of his day with Namikawa like this.
They had ended up on the couch beside one another. Namikawa was relaxed against the back of it with his arms folded across his chest. Matsuda was beside him, with his body turned towards the other man, a knee folded up underneath himself. He tried to sit close. Every so often, he'd even scoot an inch closer. He tried to do it subtly, so Namikawa wouldn't notice the slowly decreasing space between them. The very last thing he wanted was to seem desperate! Matsuda wasn't desperate, he just wanted to be close. Was that so wrong? It was like Namikawa was a magnet and he was drawn to him. There wasn't anything more to it.
For a while now, they'd just been talking. Mostly because Matsuda hardly knew anything about him. He had a lot he wanted to ask. A lot he wanted to learn. So, he showered Namikawa with questions. They bubbled up inside of him and then spilled out of his mouth, unable to be contained any longer. And Namikawa surprisingly answered them to the best of his abilities. Whether he was only answering to keep him entertained or because he actually wanted to answer, it didn't make a difference to Matsuda. He was enjoying himself regardless.
"So, your ring."
"My ring?"
Namikawa lifted his hand, gazing down at the silver band.
"Mhm!"
"Why are you so interested in this? You've asked about it before."
"Well…"
"It's nothing special. It's just a ring."
Namikawa then took the ring off and dropped it into the detective's hand, much to Matsuda's surprise. As he turned it over in between his fingers, the other man shifted his own position where he sat. He sat sideways now, just as his counterpart, and he leaned his elbow against the back of the couch. He let his chin rest on his knuckles.
"Well… I'm just glad you aren't married. It would be kind of terrible if you were…"
The detective trailed off. He handed the ring back, pressing his own cheek against a cushion. His gaze drifted towards Namikawa's face, and that's where it remained. Even as he took his ring back. Even as he glanced away. Matsuda just kept watching him and, unsurprisingly, his face broke out into a smile.
"Why? Because that would make me an adulterer?"
"Mhm… But, it's surprising at the same time! Like I said, you seem really smart, Namikawa. And you're good-looking and you have a nice house and a job and everything… I'm sure you could find a nice woman very easily."
Namikawa scoffed at that.
"What? I'm serious! Why aren't you, you know, married?"
"Why are you so concerned with my marital status, detective? If you want an answer so badly, fine. I consider myself married to my job and my job only. I have little time for relationships outside of that."
The man explained and then shrugged, his gaze focused elsewhere. Matsuda thought that was a little funny. Especially since Namikawa was saying all of this to the one night stand he invited out to lunch… and then brought home again. But, he kept his observation to himself and just smiled about it.
"It's getting late."
The Yotsuba man stated rather suddenly, derailing his guest's train of thought. Namikawa stood up and his hands found a place on his hips. From the corner of an eye, he caught the detective looking up at him. Was it still raining? He couldn't tell for certain, but on the off chance that it was…
"Come on."
As always, Matsuda was quick to jump up and follow him. On top of that, he seemed more eager than he had been early. His obedience never ceased to amuse Namikawa. He was starting to wonder if this man would follow him to the ends of the earth if it was ordered. With a light smile on his lips, Namikawa went up the stairs.
This was familiar.
Matsuda had been up and down these stairs before. Up to Namikawa's bedroom. Down from Namikawa's bedroom. He began wondering if the outcome would be the same. The thought of that night's actions being repeated… his face burned at the thought. He was so flustered that he almost missed a step. Namikawa must have heard his fumbling, because a light laugh graced his ears.
Unfortunately, Matsuda had been getting his hopes up. Once they reached the top floor, Namikawa opened an unfamiliar door. Matsuda peeked over his shoulder to see that it was a bedroom.
"You can stay the night in here."
You can stay the night in here.
You as in just you.
Only you.
All by yourself.
This realization hit him like cold water. Was it stupid for him to feel let down? His fingers slid up and into his dark hair and his gaze dropped down to the floor. No, he had no right to feel let down. Sure, it would have been nice to… sleep with Namikawa. But, that was out of the question! He should be grateful that he's even getting to stay the night in the first place. He'd already intruded enough. Now, Namikawa was even giving him a bed to sleep in. Clasping his hands in front of himself, he gave a sudden bow of his upper body.
"Thank you, Namikawa. For everything. I enjoyed today."
"Is that so?"
"Yes! I had a really nice time with you."
"Even though you ended up making a fool of yourself? Don't forget, I found you sopping wet."
"I know! But… I think being found by you made that sort of… worth it…"
At the end there, his voice trailed off. Admitting something like this out loud was embarrassing. Matsuda scratched at the back of his head, avoiding the other man's gaze. All he got in reply was a snicker. He heard the floor creak as Namikawa walked to his own bedroom. When he looked back up, their eyes met. That was the last time they looked at each other before the man opened his door.
"Goodnight, detective."
"Oh! Uh! Goodnight to you too, Namikawa."