Chapter Text
Seokjin tunes everything out again.
There’s clatter in the kitchen and the television is on in the living room. He walks briskly from his room to the restroom with his clothes in one hand and a new towel. He takes his time showering. Adjusts the water until it’s at the right temperature. Waits for the steam to make the room less cold.
It’s a little over a week until he’s got school again. He’s keeping track in his mind of everything that he has to do before he needs to go. He runs through the checklist while he washes his hair and turns the water off when he’s done clearing his head. He dresses quickly because it’s cold and then tries to go back to his room undisturbed, but his mom’s in the hallway and she stops him.
“Hey, are you doing anything today?”
“Yes. I’m going to Taehyung’s house.” She nods and Seokjin awkwardly waits for her to let him go.
“How’s he doing?” She looks like she’s getting comfortable and Seokjin just wants to leave already. He’s driving over to Taehyung’s house and they have plans to catch a movie. He doesn’t want to be late.
“He’s doing good. He’s moving into an apartment next week.” He doesn’t know why he said that. He’s just prolonging their conversation.
“His parents make good money, right?”
Seokjin shrugs. “I guess.”
“I miss Se-ah,” she sighs.
“You and her were good friends.” Seokjin calms down a little now. He knows he wasn’t the only one affected when Taehyung’s family moved.
“We were close. They didn’t keep in touch with us though, so not as close as I thought.” Seokjin doesn’t know what to say to that. “Say hi to her for me please. And to Taehyung.”
Seokjin agrees to and then rushes back to his room.
Taehyung had asked Seokjin if he wanted to stay over and he’s said yes. He’s an excited kind of nervous. If he was just meeting with Taehyung there’d be no problem, but he’s dreading having to talk to Taehyung’s parents. He hopes they can slip by unnoticed.
He gets dressed and gathers his things before getting on his truck and taking off. He plays some music while he drives and taps his hand on the steering wheel. He thinks about going on a road trip with Taehyung. That’d be fun.
While he drives and sorts his thoughts. There’s something that he’s been thinking about for every single one of the eight days since it happened.
Seokjin is good at getting used to things. He thrives off establishing routines and staying in his safe place, unchanging for as long as possible.
He used to think that was one of his biggest flaws. He had a friend in high school. Maybe more of an acquaintance. Either way not someone close enough to say what they said.
“That’s your problem Jin. You stay in your comfort zone too much and you never try anything new. You’re never going to get anywhere like that.”
He’d felt so bad afterwards. His stomach hurt the whole day.
Sometimes he thinks about their words and wishes he could go back in time and tell them to shut the hell up. Seokjin knows better now. People move at different paces, live their lives in their own way. He actually finds it pretty brave now, how he moves forward when he has to, even if it terrifies him. Also, he knows he’s reliable and loyal. Good with commitments. He’s learned to accept who he is.
Running into Taehyung was unexpected. There were so many new things that came with their blooming friendship. New things to get used to.
Seokjin thinks back to his talk with Taehyung about having met each other again at the right time. He used to have less confidence before. Even if he still struggles now with some things other people do with ease, he knows he’s progressed a lot. He doesn’t stammer out his sentences when he’s nervous or avoids looking people in the eye. He’s sure that his past self wouldn’t have been able to reciprocate Taehyung’s feelings. He’d be too caught up in his head to let himself see what was right in front of him. And even if he did, he wouldn’t have ever been able to make a move.
He’s grown a lot since then. From the people he surrounds himself with and the way he views the world, everything has been an improvement.
Taehyung makes him feel even more self assured. Seokjin had told himself when he started college that if someone special came along, he’d be able to follow his feelings normally without a problem. He never dated anyone in high school so in his first semester he was determined to change that.
There was a guy in his biology class. He was cute. A little arrogant, but he was bold too and he talked to Seokjin first. It was easier to go along with it than to find someone himself. He wasn’t even sure if he really liked him, but he was horny, and the guy was interesting enough. Even if he was kind of an ass, he was a good kisser. Seokjin had a lot of his firsts with him. He was proof to Seokjin that he could do what he always hoped he’d be able to without being too shy and nervous.
Their relationship was fleeting. Seokjin wasn’t as hurt when they just slowly fell apart.
They met up a few more times after that for sex or help with homework that later on led to sex. Seokjin hadn’t talked to him in almost a year now and he hadn’t really been with anyone since then either.
He doesn’t mind this because he didn’t want to find the love of his life anyway. Seokjin doesn’t believe in perfect matches or one sole true love. He knows there’s hundreds of people that would be great for him that he could have met already or that he could potentially meet. Still, he’s realistic. The chances of him finding one of them is still low. He generally doesn’t talk to many people and he’s not looking for his great love.
There’s a lot he doesn’t understand about humans that he wants to. About himself. He does know one thing though.
Taehyung is special.
He’s not someone who’ll be gone as quick as he came into his life. He’s someone who’s staying. Someone who likes him. Seokjin likes him back.
After the initial glimmer that came with the shock of seeing Taehyung, he’d calmed down for a bit. At first, he’d been floored. It took him a few weeks to get used to Taehyung. Then for a while he even thought that they could just be normal friends. The two of them got along well and they had a past connection that let them click right away as if no time had passed. The protectiveness he’d felt before quickly grew again. Taehyung’s smile, the light in his eyes, the delicateness that he carries himself with. He couldn’t let anyone harm that. With that came the warm affection in his chest.
He knows that Taehyung is older now, but sometimes when he gets really excited, he’s reminded of the child he knew. And he’s so cute Seokjin wants to pull him in and hold him tight like he would before when they’d chase each other around outside and he’d finally catch him.
Taehyung fits in his routine easily and it feels so natural. Taehyung just makes sense. He’s an answer not a question.
Seokjin surrounds himself with people who are positive influences for him and who can be patient and understanding. When he spends time with all of his friends, he knows why they all work so well. The sleepover on Taehyung’s birthday made him grateful to have been lucky enough to meet such incredible people that align so well with the life he wants to lead.
Taehyung is an interesting case though, because just when Seokjin thinks that he’s gotten used to him, something takes him by surprise again.
He thinks about Taehyung kissing his cheek. He doesn’t know why that shocked him so much when they’d both been going back and forth with the compliments and longing looks. He’s been slowly delving into uncharted territory to see what the response is. If he’s welcome to keep going or if he’s pushing things.
Moving forward with Taehyung doesn’t feel hard. He finds himself being comfortable enough to not hold so many reservations because Taehyung’s so responsive. He feels safe, like no matter what happens he won’t get his feelings hurt.
With that reassurance in mind, Seokjin pulls up closer to Taehyung’s house. He remembers the rest of the way and he turns off navigation. He sends a message to Taehyung when he arrives and then gets off to meet him. When he rings the doorbell, a smiling Taehyung opens the door.
“Hey! Come in hyung, but give me a second,” he says, going back inside before Seokjin says anything back.
Seokjin takes in his surroundings and can tell by the quiet that it’s just them there. He’s thankful that he doesn’t have to meet anyone else yet.
While he waits, he looks around.
The living room looks like it came straight out of a magazine. There are two black sofas facing each other with a glass table in between. The walls are painted white and the carpet is a pale gray. The two lamps and the painting above the fireplace give a warm glow to the room. There’s no sign that anyone lives there. Everything looks like it’s just on display.
Seokjin wonders what Taehyung’s home life is like. He walks towards the wall that separates the kitchen and from the living room until he can peek through the open space. It’s spacious and sleek. His mother would love to have a kitchen like this. He would love this kitchen.
Seokjin keeps moving, looks down the hallway that Taehyung rushed off to. He can see one door before there’s a turn, blocking the rest of the house. He goes back to the living room before Taehyung comes back out.
“Okay, ready,” Taehyung reaches out his hand and Seokjin holds it with his own.
“Did you paint this?” he asks Taehyung who gives his head a little shake. Taehyung stares at the canvas before meeting Seokjin’s eyes and smiling at him. He’s wearing pink lip gloss and small butterfly earrings and he looks so soft.
“Should we get going?”
“Yes.” Seokjin leads them outside and they get inside his truck. He’d cleaned it two days ago when they’d made their plans, so it smells fresh.
The movie’s good. They get there early enough to buy snacks to share and watch the trailers. Seokjin is happy that Taehyung isn’t bothered by his little comments while they watch. He whispers back to him near his ear. He ignores the goosebumps when he brushes close.
Taehyung cries near the end. Seokjin watches him wipe away tears from the corner of his eyes. He thinks he should choose a comedy next time.
They go out for dinner afterwards. It feels like a date and a part of him is treating it like a date. He showers Taehyung with words of appreciation and he works hard to make him laugh. Taehyung has a precious smile and Seokjin wants to kiss him.
They go look around a few stores before they get back to Taehyung’s house. There’s a car parked outside so Seokjin mentally prepares himself. When they go inside there’s someone sitting on the couch and the television is on, the volume low. Taehyung takes the lead and talks to his mother who looks up at them. He introduces Seokjin and she seems to remember him.
Taehyung’s mom doesn’t give him too much unwanted attention. He gets a quick greeting and two questions about his family. Taehyung lets her know that Seokjin is staying over and she welcomes him with a small smile and then they’re excusing themselves. They walk down the hallway together and turn the corner. Seokjin sees two more doors now. Taehyung stops at the last one. He smiles at Seokjin before he opens the door.
“Welcome to my room.” He turns on the light and they walk inside.
Seokjin’s eyes go everywhere, trying to look at everything at once. There’s his bed in the middle. It has so many pillows and the pale pink sheets look a little rumpled with a few pieces of clothes and a pair of shoes on it. The bedroom bench at the end of the bed has a box with paints on it.
He looks at the canvas that’s propped up on an easel next to it and marvels at how good it’s coming along.
“I know it's a little messy, but I was in a hurry,” Taehyung explains while walking towards the things on his bed to pick them up.
“It’s okay.” Seokjin actually feels an odd sense of relief at the disorder. It contrasts so wonderfully with the other parts of the house he’s seen.
“You can look around if you want while I clean.”
Seokjin goes over to the vanity. He can see a display of his jewelry on one side and makeup on the other under the glass surface. There’s a big mirror reflecting the room with lights on the side and a small seat in front of it. He’s also got floating shelves on the other wall with makeup brushes and small boxes and other little things.
Seokjin looks at Taehyung clean before going to the paintings on the other side of the room. They’re displayed in between books on a shelf. One of them looks like a distorted version of Taehyung’s face. It catches his attention. He’s caught up in the colors that he doesn’t notice Taehyung approaching him right away until he’s right beside him in his line of vision.
“Apple red,” Taehyung says quietly.
Seokjin turns to him with a question on his face.
“The color. The name on the bottle of paint for the color I used the most. Apple red. Look,” he walks over to the bottles of paint and picks one up and shows it to Seokjin. He reads the black letters on the white label and hums in understanding.
“Want to see my earring collection?” Taehyung asks him.
Taehyung takes off his earrings and opens up a drawer in his vanity and puts them back along with the rows of earrings of various animals and flowers. There’s another drawer with the simpler ones and the dangly earrings have their own stand.
Seokjin is fascinated by how much they seem to mean to Taehyung. They make him so happy and Seokjin wants to buy earrings for him now.
“Oh, let me show you my other paintings too.” Taehyung takes his hand softly and they walk out of his room and into another one.
There’s a desk and a lot more paintings on the walls along with another table and a shelf with so many supplies and a rack full of canvases put away. There’s also a rug that has paint stains on it and a stool with what looks like an apron draped across it.
“I usually paint in here unless my room’s giving me more inspiration.” Taehyung leads him towards the rack and pulls out a painting. “I have too many, so I just switch out my favorites every now and then.”
“Do you ever sell them?” Seokjin asks as he inspects the painting. He doesn’t know art like Namjoon does, but he thinks that the quality of Taehyung’s work could be worth a lot.
“No. I haven’t tried that yet,” Taehyung says. “I tend to give them as gifts instead. Or I paint over them if I’m not satisfied.” He hands Seokjin another painting, and he actually gasps.
“This is amazing.”
“You like it?”
“I love it.”
“Do you want to keep it?” he offers.
Seokjin looks at Taehyung. “Are you serious?”
“Of course.” He smiles at Seokjin. “I’d love for you to have it.”
Seokjin looks back at the painting and it seems too pretty to give away. He really does love it though.
“Thank you,” he says sincerely.
“No problem hyung,” Taehyung beams. “I’ll remind you to take it before you leave.”
They look around a little more before going back to Taehyung’s room. Seokjin looks through his books while Taehyung finishes cleaning.
“I haven’t packed much because I’m still not sure how long I’m planning on staying. I’m thinking of leaving half of my things here and just coming back in case I need anything,” Taehyung explains while he puts a shirt in a hanger.
Seokjin stays back a few steps away so he’s not invading Taehyung’s space, but he still gets a good look at half of the walk-in closet.
Taehyung looks back at him and gestures for him to come closer. Seokjin does and now he really can appreciate the size and organization of the room. Taehyung has everything color coordinated and neatly arranged.
“This is so cool,” Seokjin says. “You have so many clothes.”
“I know,” Taehyung smiles. “All of my money goes to clothes. Or paint,” he adds. “The perks of being an only child is that I get a lot of space to myself. My art room was supposed to be the guest room, but my mom said I could have it. That’s why I couldn’t stand my tiny dorm. There was barely any room to think in there.”
Seokjin is a little jealous, but seeing Taehyung be so happy with what he has and watching the way he cares for everything he owns makes him glad that Taehyung has all of this. Taehyung deserves every part of this and even more.
Taehyung shows him around and Seokjin is just enjoying hearing him talk. They move to sit on Taehyung’s bed. Seokjin is afraid to get too comfortable at first because Taehyung’s bed is so nice so he ends up sitting all twisted before it actually hurts and he shifts. He keeps moving around and he feels stiff but Taehyung’s smiling prettily at him.
“Do you want to listen to some music?” Taehyung asks. He shows Seokjin some songs that he likes and then lets him pick out some too.
Time goes by quickly and it’s getting late and they decide to start getting ready for bed. Taehyung offers to go for him to get his stuff from his truck. There’s no one around now. It’s so quiet it’s eerie. There’s still only the car and Seokjin’s truck parked outside.
“My dad stays out really late at work sometimes,” Taehyung says. Seokjin nods and gets his things.
When they’re back inside Taehyung gives Seokjin some water when he asks for it and then goes to get changed first. Seokjin drinks his water and waits for him to come back. He checks his phone and looks up when he hears the door open. His eyes widen without meaning to.
Skin. A lot of bare skin. Pretty and golden.
Oh no. Seokjin’s so gone.
“I’m done,” Taehyung smiles at him and walks over. Seokjin’s eyes catch on Taehyung’s stomach, the little bit of his navel peeking out. He’s got on a pastel purple cami crop top with matching shorts. The drawstrings are tied into a loose bow. Taehyung’s hair is pulled back from his face with two clips and his face looks clean and soft. It’s adorable. It’s sexy. It’s Taehyung and it’s too much.
Seokjin’s supposed to get up now. Get up. He shakes himself out of it and stands up, getting his clothes and his bag and heading to the bathroom.
He’s not even shocked by how big it is this time. He stares blankly at the skin care products on the shelf and the glass shower door for a while before he finally starts changing and gets ready to sleep. He brushes his teeth and face and uses some of Taehyung’s mouthwash. He takes his time because he’s not sure if he’s ready to get into bed with Taehyung just yet. When he finally does come back out, Taehyung’s sitting down in the middle of his bed changing the music.
“Hey.” Taehyung gives him a smile.
“Hey.” Seokjin forces himself to get on next to him.
“This is fun. It’s been a fun day. Right?” Taehyung glances at him.
“Yea. Yes. So fun. I’m glad we did this.” Seokjin tears his eyes from Taehyung’s collarbones and smiles at him.
“The movie was so good!”
“It made you cry though.” Seokjin brushes a curl behind his ear and Taehyung looks down.
“I cry easily, remember?” His eyes look at him for a moment.
“We should watch something funny next time. I’d rather see you laugh.”
“Well, you should be looking at the movie, not at me,” Taehyung’s lips turn up.
“I was looking at the movie. Just, it’s hard not to notice you too,” Seokjin admits.
“Hyung.”
“Yes?”
Taehyung shakes his head. “I really like this song,” he changes the topic.
“Me too.” Seokjin gets closer and Taehyung immediately leans in.
“Hey, we should go out tomorrow again. Since you’ll still be here,” Taehyung suggests. “I don’t feel like staying in. I’ve just been in my house so much I get bored.”
“Yea, we should,” Seokjin agrees.
“I mean honestly whatever we do I’ll have fun, but I get tired of being at home. Don’t you?”
“Sometimes. Although, I do tend to last a bit longer before I feel the need to leave my house. I don’t really love being around too many people anyway. Once in a while is fine, but I like just a few at a time better.”
“Hm, I get that. I usually spend more time with Jimin, but he’s been busy with some dance thing.” Taehyung sighs. “I can’t wait until we’re sharing a living space again. I miss him.”
“Jimin’s a good friend.”
“He is! He looks out for me.” Seokjin rests against the pillows as he listens. “After my family moved, I didn’t really talk much to anyone. I felt sad about leaving everything behind. I missed you and my old friends. I was kind of just sulking. I refused to make new friends because everyone seemed like snobby rich kids to me. I think I thought I was better than everyone for a while. In a moral sort of sense. Because you know in our old school no one had the nice clothes or money. We were all just kind of equal.”
Seokjin nods while Taehyung continues.
“I assumed that everyone was just a jerk, but I think I ended up being a little bit of a jerk myself.” Taehyung pauses to look at Seokjin before he goes on. “Jimin tried talking to me. And you know how Jimin is. Kind and outgoing. Super friendly. I don’t know why I thought maybe he was trying to mess with me. He wasn’t of course. He’s a total sweetheart. I love him endlessly.”
The dreamy look in Taehyung’s face entrances Seokjin for a second.
“Sorry, I could go on and on about Jimin,” Taehyung apologizes sheepishly.
“No, it’s fine. I get you. I love my friends a lot too.” Taehyung looks at him like he's waiting for him to share more, so he does. “I don’t think high school was the best time for me but going to university and meeting Yoongi and Namjoon and getting closer to Hoseok completely changed things. They’re really good influences and I think they make me more outgoing, in a good healthy way that isn’t overbearing. They don’t force me to be social if I don’t want to. Yoongi completely gets it. He’s more like me in that way.”
“I’m so glad you have good people around you.”
“Me too. And same for you.”
They look at each other and don’t say anything for a moment.
“Do you want to watch paint pouring videos?” Taehyung suddenly asks.
Seokjin is confused for a second before he agrees. “Sure.”
“I watch them to relax, but also because I think it’s cool.” He reaches for something on the nightstand and Seokjin has to force himself to look away from Taehyung’s legs before he sits back down and catches him.
He turns on the television in front of the bed and looks up the video he wants to show him. Seokjin just stares ahead with his arms folded on his chest, trying to control himself.
There are five cups on the screen, all full of paint that’s poured into a larger cup before it goes onto the canvas. A pair of gloved hands spreads the paint around creating a marble sort of look.
“That looks fun.”
“It is,” Taehyung says excitedly. “I’ve tried it a few times and it’s really cool. But the more colorful you get with it, the higher risk of it just looking like a big mess. I did one with only metallic paints. Gold and a dark gray and white. Black. Silver. It looked really cool. I used it as the background for the painting I showed you, the one where I looked like I was made of stone?”
“Oh, yes, I loved that one.”
Taehyung smiles at him. “I love it too.”
They continue watching the paint pouring as it nears the end. “It’s so unsatisfying sometimes. Like they put so much purple in there and for what? Look how they just let it all fall down.”
The video ends and Taehyung frowns at the result before playing another one.
“I really like your pajamas by the way,” Seokjin says while they watch. Taehyung looks down at them before turning back to him.
“Thanks.” He rubs the fabric of his shorts with two fingers. “They’re really soft on the inside. Look.”
Seokjin hesitates a bit before he brings himself to touch them. The back of his hand brushes on Taehyung’s thigh as he pulls away. “Yea, they’re so soft.”
“I had a feeling you’d like them,” Taehyung says nonchalantly.
Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him. “Yea?”
“Yea.” There’s a suggestive tilt to his voice and Taehyung giggles and bats his eyelashes at him. Oh, he’s playing dirty now.
“What are you doing to me?” Seokjin asks.
“What am I doing to you?” Taehyung teases with a quirk of his lips.
Seokjin stares at him, unrelenting until Taehyung looks away. He thinks he’s won some non-existing game, but then Taehyung’s back, leaning in and cupping his face.
“You’re so cute hyung.” He’s grinning, playing around with his face and laughing before moving forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Seokjin doesn’t move. He looks into Taehyung’s eyes and sees everything.
Taehyung kisses his other cheek and then his forehead and then he’s going for Seokjin’s nose with a cute little laugh that Seokjin stops abruptly because he pulls him in for a real kiss.
He doesn’t think either one of them sees it coming.
Seokjin takes a hold of Taehyung’s face so they’re holding each other, but Taehyung’s hands lose the soft pressure. Seokjin moves his lips but Taehyung’s unresponsive. He pulls away and looks at Taehyung’s stunned face.
Taehyung’s eyes open and he blinks.
“I’m, oh, did I misread something?” Seokjin panics momentarily. He’s about to apologize but Taehyung stops him.
“No! No, you did not, no,” he holds Seokjin’s face again. “I wanted to, I don’t, I,” he stutters out. Seokjin’s about to ask but Taehyung gets there first. “Kiss me. You can kiss me. I want you to kiss me, hyung.”
“Wait, Tae, is it okay if I kiss you because I’m not sure if you wanted that?”
Taehyung shoves him away and Seokjin laughs a little now that he’s not so nervous.
“Fuck off,” Taehyung pouts before pulling him back.
“Sorry,” Seokjin stops smiling and focuses now. Right. Kissing Taehyung. Oh. Wait. He kissed Taehyung. Holy shit. He did that. And now. Again?
They’re both quiet again and this time Seokjin can freely stare at Taehyung’s lips. He finds Taehyung doing the same. They both lean in together and their lips graze each other. Seokjin feels like he’s vibrating internally, mind spinning. It’s electric. Warm.
They kiss each other soft and slow. Seokjin takes his time now to indulge in what he’s wanted for so long. Taehyung’s fingers are tracing his face like he’s trying to memorize it. Seokjin leans in too much and Taehyung falls back a little and he pulls his hand away to catch himself.
“Whoa.”
Seokjin looks at him with concern but Taehyung only looks amused. Taehyung’s hand reaches for Seokjin and then they’re kissing again. Seokjin is hovering above Taehyung’s body. He holds himself with one hand and leans on his elbow.
Taehyung’s lip balm feels so smooth against Seokjin’s lips. He’s moving in slow motion. There’s the physical sensations and his emotions both joining for a powerful feeling. The glide and warmth and excitement and the rush.
“I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for a while now,” Taehyung speaks against his lips when they briefly stop.
“Am I living up to your expectations?” Seokjin breathes in heavily.
“I’m not sure yet,” Taehyung bites the corner of his bottom lip through his smile. Seokjin wants to be the one biting him instead. “Kiss me again and I’ll tell you.”
Seokjin gets more comfortable. He has to lay down a bit diagonally on the bed so he can be closer to Taehyung. He kisses him again, a little deeper. The wetness from their mouths drags on their lips and Taehyung feels good. Seokjin’s arm folds against Taehyung’s and he presses his palm on Taehyung’s shoulder, his fingers graze the strap of his shirt.
He rubs the soft skin and Taehyung tilts his face up. He takes in Seokjin’s lip between his and wets it with his tongue. Seokjin’s eyes are closed but he sees Taehyung in his mind. His beautiful, precious Taehyung. He smiles into the kiss and pulls away to kiss his nose.
Taehyung makes a little confused noise but then smiles back at him.
“You have a really cute nose.”
“Thanks.” Taehyung kisses him again and Seokjin’s hands slide down to his elbow and lower until he’s got his fingers splayed out on his waist. The sound Taehyung makes is muffled, but it feels encouraging, so Seokjin lightly grips the soft skin.
Seokjin likes how easy this feels. The music flies between them and adds to the mood. They kiss with a patient hunger. It’s savory and sweet. No rush. Just minutes passing and their hands on each other, a little shy, but thrilled still.
“You can,” Taehyung whispers between a shaky exhale. Seokjin watches him and Taehyung parts his legs a little, giving some space for Seokjin to get in between. They stare into each other's eyes as Seokjin moves a leg to settle in between Taehyung. He’s halfway on top of him.
“Is this okay?” He lets more of his weight down on Taehyung to press closer, their chests touching.
Taehyung presses his lips together and nods.
“Not too heavy?”
Taehyung shakes his head. Seokjin moves his other leg, getting fully between Taehyung and now something’s stirring inside of him. Seokjin rests his hand on Taehyung’s knee and Taehyung places his hand on top. “This is okay too,” he murmurs.
Seokjin breaths through his nose and holds it in. Does that mean? He can touch? How much? Can he…
Taehyung starts bringing him back for a kiss, but his mouth opens more, and he kisses Seokjin harder. His hands pull Seokjin’s down a little and now he’s touching his thigh.
It feels so good. Taehyung’s so soft. He feels so amazing in Seokjin’s hand. It’s almost overwhelming, how they’re kissing and he’s touching and they’re breathing and moving. Taehyung’s fingers touch his scalp as they comb through his hair and hold him in place while they kiss. Slow little kisses and then some deeper ones. Just feeling the plush lips and warm mouths. The tip of Seokjin’s tongue just barely grazes Taehyung’s lips.
They switch so that Seokjin lays back and he pulls Taehyung on top of him by holding on to his side and the back of his thigh. Taehyung has one knee on either side of him and his hands are next to his head, caging Seokjin in. Now that Taehyung’s on top, he’s fired up. The sound of them kissing gets louder and their breath heavier.
Seokjin’s hands hold on to Taehyung's little waist. They move up and down, wanting more but being cautious. He’s gentle with him. They look at each other again and can’t seem to find words to say anymore, but their mouths are like magnets and they can’t help being drawn back to each other.
They press kiss after kiss. Seokjin’s lips brush on Taehyung’s jaw and he shudders a little like it makes him ticklish and Seokjin’s fingers poke at Taehyung's stomach to really make him laugh. Seokjin keeps kissing him sweetly. Slow presses that sound loud. He buries his face in Taehyung's neck and peppers kisses on his skin lovingly. He’s so happy.
Taehyung wraps his arms around him, and they hug while they lay down, moving sideways and smiling at each other.
“In case you were still wondering,” Taehyung starts, cute little voice sounding so melodic and deep. Calm and gentle. “You’ve exceeded all my expectations.”
Seokjin’s soaring. He kisses Taehyung’s collarbones and his sternum and his soft neck. His temples and the top of his head. They kiss harder and then softer. They kiss until they’re sleepy but even then, they don’t want to stop.
They curl up with each other and talk in whispers and they both keep leaning in for one more kiss. Just one more. Their voices are tired and Taehyung’s eyes close. Seokjin presses the gentlest of kisses on his eyelashes. Taehyung gives him a smile, but his eyes stay closed. He’s so tired. Seokjin kisses him one last time and then tries to sleep too.
He wakes up once in the middle of the night and Taehyung’s got a good hold on him. He can’t see him, but he feels his presence and it lulls him back to sleep. The next time he wakes up there’s sunlight streaming through the edges of the curtain. The rays illuminate the room, and he can see Taehyung’s peaceful expression while he sleeps.
He thinks about the night before as he stares at Taehyung. The peaks and curves of his lips. The little mole on his nose. His lashes and his cheek squished on Seokjin’s arm.
Taehyung makes a noise as he wakes up and moves as his eyes squeeze together before he opens them. He looks at Seokjin with sleepy eyes and moves closer to him.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Taehyung groans back softly, his voice is raspy from sleep. They’re quiet for a bit. Taehyung closes his eyes and Seokjin thinks he might fall asleep again.
“I had a dream about you,” Taehyung mumbles. He moves again to lay down on his back and Seokjin turns on his side so he can look at him.
“What did you dream about?”
“We were there and we were running. Something was chasing us, hm, I don’t remember what.” Taehyung blinks and then yawns. “It was weird. But fun.” He stretches and then drops his arm on Seokjin’s chest before smiling cutely with his teeth. Seokjin is so fond.
“Can I kiss you even though you know, morning breath?”
Seokjin nods and meets Taehyung’s lips. It’s a soft kiss, quick. They press their foreheads together afterwards and Seokjin wraps his arms around him. It’s calm and pleasant before Taehyung starts shaking his leg.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He stills for a second before he starts squirming. “I just, I really have to pee,” he says sheepishly. “I needed to go last night but we were kissing, and it was so good and then I was so sleepy and it kind of went away but I really have to go now.”
“Go pee.”
“Okay.” Taehyung kisses him and then crosses over him to get out of bed with a quiet giggle before running off to the restroom.
Yea. Seokjin is so so fond.
They get ready afterwards. Taehyung showers first so he can do his makeup while Seokjin goes next. They make plans before Taehyung goes into the bathroom and Seokjin’s happy he gets another good look at Taehyung’s shorts. They’re getting breakfast and then seeing where they go from there.
Seokjin looks through his bag and brings out his clothes to change. He can’t believe everything that’s happened. He’d hoped and dreamed, but it’s real now. He feels an energy coursing through him. It excites him and it makes him bounce on his feet.
He thinks about Hoseok and telling him and dancing around out of joy. And Namjoon would be happy for him too. He’s always talking about how nice he thinks Taehyung and Seokjin would be together. And Yoongi. Yoongi would give him that small smile and he’d understand. Seokjin can’t wait to tell his friends.
He’s so giddy, but as the sleepiness goes away and he becomes more alert as the morning progresses, there comes a new feeling of bashfulness. He sees it in Taehyung too. They’d been so easy to kiss in bed, but now that the lights are on and they’re preparing for the day, they can’t seem to meet each other’s eyes. Because they kissed and they didn’t kiss before and they’ve been dancing on the tightrope, but they really did it now. They jumped and now they’re not sure where they stand. They’re floating but for how long. Are they perhaps just freefalling?
Seokjin certainly feels like he’s falling. He doesn’t know how he’ll ever be able to find his ground again.
They head out to get something to eat and it’s closer to noon. Taehyung picks the place, and they order and talk like nothing has happened. Like they’ve never kissed.
“So.”
“So?” Seokjin tilts his head and Taehyung rests his chin on his palm.
“I want to talk about...” Taehyung trails off.
“Last night?”
“And this morning,” Taehyung nods.
“Okay. We should.” Seokjin shouldn’t be this nervous, but it’s in his nature.
“You know that I like you.” Taehyung stares at him and it doesn’t feel as easy anymore. Skittering and dancing around was fine before, but facing it directly is different. “I think I was really obvious about it.” Seokjin doesn’t say anything and just forces himself not to look away. His silence makes Taehyung look down.
“I wasn’t sure if you liked me back. But then I realized that maybe you did? And then, well, you kissed me.” Taehyung stares at his hands and Seokjin realizes that he needs to say something so he won’t get the wrong idea.
“I do. I mean what’s not to like, remember?”
Taehyung looks up at him then and he slowly smiles. “I really like you and I really liked making out with you.”
“I liked making out with you too,” Seokjin laughs along with Taehyung and then they both lean forward. “I want to kiss you right now.”
“You can kiss me anytime.”
Seokjin wants to tease him for his eagerness, but he’s impatient. He just kisses Taehyung instead, once and then twice before sitting back with content.
“Ah, I could get used to that,” Taehyung sighs happily. Indeed.
They eat their breakfast before they talk more about it. Seokjin has to ask because he wants to do things right. Taehyung deserves it.
“Where do we stand, in terms of our um, relationship?”
“Well, I’m not sure,” Taehyung answers honestly.
“What would you like for our relationship to be?” Seokjin tries instead.
“I don’t know if that’s something I can decide on my own.”
Seokjin understands, but he still wants to hear what Taehyung wants without him holding back. The beliefs that Seokjin holds don’t allow him to know what the best choice is straight away. He doesn’t believe that humans are meant to be monogamous so he’s not jumping to say that they should be boyfriends. He would honestly be okay with anything that Taehyung wanted to offer as long as he still got to kiss him and call him pretty. He thinks he should explain that, but he’s not sure how it’ll sound if he tells Taehyung that he’d be okay with an open relationship. He just wants to hear what Taehyung wants. And then maybe then can talk about everything else.
“And if I tell you that I’m on board with whatever you say?”
“Hyung,” Taehyung whines and Seokjin reaches out his hand and smooths out his hair without thinking about it.
“Yes?” He knows he’s frustrating Taehyung, but he doesn’t know what other way to do this. Taehyung pouts at him and Seokjin really thinks about what to say now.
“You have more experience than me with this,” he starts. “And neither of us have any experience with being involved with each other at this level. I only know my friend Tae. As easy as it felt to kiss you yesterday and today, it’s hard now because it feels like we’re moving past friendship into something more. I don’t know how to act around my more than just a friend Tae. Am I making sense?”
Taehyung nods and Seokjin continues.
“I’ve thought about different scenarios for how things would go and a lot of them sound really good and I really just want to hear what you think and then we can decide.”
“What were some of the scenarios?” Taehyung asks. He doesn’t make it easy for Seokjin, but he wants to be honest anyway. He won’t avoid his question.
“Well, you’re very pretty. I thought maybe there’d be a lot of competition and others interested in you and maybe you’d also be interested in other people. And I just wanted to be one of those people.”
“I’m only interested in you.”
“It’d be okay if you weren’t.”
“But I’m not,” Taehyung insists.
Seokjin smiles a little. “Okay. But if you were, I’d still just want a small piece.”
“Are you interested in other people?” Taehyung accuses.
“No! I’m just saying, humans are complicated.”
“But this time it’s simple. We have feelings for each other, and we should do something about it because no one has ever made me feel the way you do and it’s both amazing and embarrassing how affected I am, and I want more of it.” Taehyung holds out his hands and Seokjin immediately gives him his own. “Personally, I’d like for us to go on a date. And I’d also like to make out more. Fuck, I seriously love kissing you.”
Seokjin doesn’t need any more prompting. He takes Taehyung’s lips in his own and kisses him with purpose.
“You drive me crazy.”
“You’re one to talk, with your ridiculously cute outfits. The short skirts,” Seokjin shakes his head and kisses him again.
“So, you like my short skirts huh?” Taehyung grins in between their kisses.
“Of course I do.”
Seokjin wants to kiss him harder. But the restaurant is getting more full, the noise louder. He pulls away and takes Taehyung's hand again. “Let’s get to know each other better today. Not as friends, but as more.” He realizes a second later what it sounds like.
“Are you going to pull out your list of kinks on me?”
Seokjin raises an eyebrow. “Do you have a list?”
“Wouldn’t you love to know.”
“I would.”
“I bet I can guess what’s the first one on yours.”
“Yea,” Seokjin’s amused. “What?”
“Spanking.”
Oh, and Seokjin’s red now. “Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know, I’m just guessing. Is it?”
“We should get going,” he evades answering.
“Hyung!”
“Let’s go Tae, we’ve been here too long.”
“Wait, do you like getting spanked or do you like spanking someone else?” Seokjin eyes the people sitting nearby and he’s thankful they’re not looking at him.
“Can we not talk about this in such a public place?”
“So you’ll tell me later?”
“Uh…”
Seokjin’s beet red and Taehyung’s giggling but he lets Seokjin lead him out.
After that they drive for a while, unsure of where to go. It’s a chilly day so they get hot chocolate and hold hands while they look around.
They end up at a bookstore neither of them has been to before. It’s fun looking around. Taehyung reads the summaries of books to him and Seokjin listens, intrigued. He goes on about movies he likes and books he’s read before. Taehyung likes romance and fantasy. Seokjin has mostly read science fiction.
Taehyung drinks from his cup and then suddenly leads him to a quiet corner of the store.
“What is it?” Seokjin asks.
“Nothing. I just wanted to kiss you.”
Oh. Good. Seokjin wants that too.
He kisses him a little more deeply now that there’s no one who might watch them. Before he pulls back, he presses a peck to Taehyung’s nose.
“Do you have a thing for noses?”
Seokjin snorts. “What?”
“I didn’t know you were this weird.”
“This is nothing.”
“Ah,” Taehyung looks delighted. “Can’t wait to see how weird it can get then.”
“You won’t.”
“Oh, come on, I’ll let you see my weird side too.”
“I already know you’re weird.”
“Because I don’t try to hide it. Don’t hide yours either. Really.” Taehyung’s voice gets more serious so Seokjin gives him a reassuring look. He won’t hide himself.
They walk outside and half of the time Seokjin’s not really aware of his surroundings. He’s more focused on his convoluted mind. He’s had a lot to think about these past few hours and these past few months. He’s stitching together all of his thoughts and trying to make sense of it all.
When Taehyung puts his palm on Seokjin’s face and turns his head so he’ll face him, Seokjin comes back to the moment. They don’t say anything. Taehyung kisses him and then they keep walking forward.
Taehyung wants to go to a shop across the street and while they wait for the cars to stop, Seokjin shivers. His teeth are chattering a little if he doesn’t clench them together. Wordlessly Taehyung takes off his scarf and wraps it around Seokjin. His heart, his poor heart is bursting with painful affection. Warmth that burns him.
They walk to another shop and buy a few things. Taehyung keeps giving him little kisses and Seokjin reaches out to wrap an arm around him while he looks at different bottles of paint. Taehyung stops when Seokjin gently rubs his fingers on his waist. Seokjin catches the flash of his teeth from his quick smile before he goes back to inspecting the colors.
“I can’t ever stop myself from buying more paint,” Taehyung says after they pay. They have a few bags that they split and carry back to Seokjin’s truck. The drive back to Taehyung’s house feels too fast.
Taehyung puts his things away and Seokjin watches him. Taehyung’s dainty and delicate. He’s also got a spring to his step. He sings to something softly while he walks around, and he stops to write something down suddenly because he got an idea for something he wants to paint.
Seokjin would really love it if Taehyung would be his boyfriend.
“I need to start packing tomorrow,” Taehyung says while he goes to sit next to Seokjin. “At what time do you have to go?”
“I don’t have a specific time in mind.” Seokjin glances at his phone. “I can stay as long as you want me around.”
“If it were up to me, you’d stay another day,” Taehyung looks at him with his big eyes. Seokjin wants to pinch his cheeks so he does and then he brings two fingers and wiggles Taehyung’s nose a little and almost coos.
Taehyung falls back on the bed laughing.
“I don’t have a thing for noses!” Seokjin defends himself.
Taehyung laughs at his face and then finally settles down with a flirty look. “What do you have a thing for then?”
“You.” He means it, but he hadn’t thought he’d share that so bluntly.
Taehyung watches him from where he’s laying down and turns his head. He looks so inviting and damn if Seokjin doesn’t want to do all sorts of things to him.
He’s made them both be serious now.
Taehyung parts his lips and his tongue swipes across them. Seokjin puts his hand down next to Taehyung and then shifts his weight forward, hovering over him. It’s quiet now. No music. He can hear Taehyung breathe in and then breathe out, a little shaky. Affected by Seokjin.
“Come here,” Taehyung murmurs. Seokjin swings his leg to Taehyung’s side and watches his reaction. He looks utterly stunning, defying the rules of nature because humans aren’t supposed to be so pretty. He doesn’t believe in gods or magic, but he thinks Taehyung might actually be an angel.
Kissing Taehyung is a privilege. There’s nothing between them. No space as they keep each other close. Just the sound of their lips moving against each other and the feeling of their hands touching everything they can. Seokjin gets a little carried away. He licks across Taehyung’s bottom lip, the tip of his tongue inside his mouth. Taehyung’s fingers curl on Seokjin’s neck and his nails scrape his sensitive skin.
“Mm.” The small sound only spurs him on.
He slips his tongue inside Taehyung’s warm mouth and tastes him. It’s so good it feels like there’s a million smoke bombs exploding in his head, each a different color. He’s driven by desire, his lips moving to kiss Taehyung’s jawline. He trails up the sharp curve, kissing until he’s reached the skin under his ear, his face brushing with Taehyung’s hair. He drags his lips down to his neck and he darts out his tongue for a small lick that makes Taehyung shiver.
“Mmh, hyung,” Taehyung whines softly. “Too much.”
Seokjin pulls back and he catches his breath. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” Taehyung is breathing heavy too. “You don’t have to apologize. It feels so good, but I think it’s too good.”
Seokjin nods. He gets what he’s saying. He doesn’t know how he’ll stop if he keeps going now.
“Maybe we can just cuddle?”
“Okay. Let’s do that.”
Seokjin gets off Taehyung and moves to lay down with his head on the pillow. Taehyung curls up beside him and rests his face on Seokjin’s shoulder and gets cozy. Seokjin hugs Taehyung to his chest and rubs his back. It feels nice. Quiet and tranquil.
They stay like that for a while until they grow hungry. Taehyung’s parents aren’t home yet, and they decide to make something for themselves. They look through the fridge and the pantry before they decide what to make. Seokjin’s excited about using a kitchen where he actually has space. Taehyung volunteers to be his assistant while he cooks. It’s fun cooking for Taehyung. He tries to show off a little because he wants to impress him, so he takes his time. They eat in the living room while watching a movie and no one comes home to disturb them.
Before Seokjin leaves, they kiss by the door and then walk outside together. Taehyung remembers the painting he was giving to him and goes back inside to get it. Before Seokjin gets in his truck he kisses Taehyung one more time. He waves goodbye and feels a tinge of sadness as he pulls out of the driveway. He can’t think about anything else but Taehyung on his drive home.
When he gets time alone later at night, he jerks off in the darkness of his room. He thinks about how Taehyung melted under him and moves his hand faster. He wipes his hand when he’s done and then quietly opens the door to his room and makes his way to the bathroom to properly clean up. He sleeps really well after that.
The next day he doesn’t do much other than message Taehyung who sends him pictures of his whole moving process. He’s so glad because he already misses him. Seokjin feels needy like he never does, but he can’t help but want to be around Taehyung all the time. He counts down the days until he can see him again.
Once Taehyung settles into his apartment, he invites Seokjin over. He accepts right away and leaves two days earlier than he planned for school. He’s embarrassingly whipped but he doesn’t care.
“I missed you, hyung,” Taehyung greets him with a crushing hug. They walk inside and the first thing Seokjin notices is all the art supplies pushed off to the corner in the living room.
“I haven’t gotten around to setting up my art area yet,” Taehyung explains. “But I did put everything else away. Oh, let me show you the balcony.” They walk past the kitchen that’s smaller than the one in Taehyung’s house, but still bigger than Seokjin’s.
There’s an open door in the hallway and Jimin peeks his head out. “Hey, Jin hyung.”
“Hi Jimin,” Seokjin smiles at him.
“Are you hungry?” he asks. “Taehyung and I were just going to order food.”
“I am.”
“Okay, great. I’ll get some for you then,” he beams.
“Thank you.”
“No problem hyung.”
Taehyung tugs on his hand so he keeps walking. There’s a glass door that Taehyung slides open and then they step outside. The wind makes them both step closer without thinking.
“This is nice,” Seokjin notes. There’s two chairs and a small table and a few flowerpots. The whole apartment is better than his house actually.
“I think I will do a lot of my painting out here. Isn’t the sky so pretty? I’m going to paint it one of these days.”
Seokjin agrees. The fresh air and clouds in the sky fill him with wonder. He’s always amazed by nature. It’s freezing but neither one of them makes a move to head back inside. Seokjin stares at a cloud that looks like an elephant while warming Taehyung’s hands in his.
There’s something about the way this moment feels so special and about how Seokjin’s thinking about too many things and the quiet and how comfortable he feels around Taehyung.
“Do you ever think about how insignificant we are in this world?” Seokjin breaks their silence. He’s got too many thoughts that he wants to voice out. Taehyung glances at him as he continues. “The universe is infinite, and we are just a tiny part of it. You and me, we are nothing. But also, I am my whole world. My thoughts and actions are all I can truly perceive as my own. I might never know the whole truth other than what’s in front of me.”
Taehyung’s staring at him now and Seokjin’s still looking at that cloud. It looks more like a shark now. He’s not sure when that happened.
“I am the main character of my story. My life revolves around me only even if my world revolves around a sun millions of kilometers away. That’s why I’m fascinated by humans. We make no sense. I’ve studied evolution and it’s all happenings that occurred by chance and that survived because they worked. Somehow, we’ve arrived at us and we are in no way superior, but somehow we like to let ourselves think that we’re the most important people. Which makes sense because we’re all we need to survive and to survive we need to matter.”
He’s going too far into these thoughts again, but Taehyung just listens to him intently.
“We live and we love and when we’re gone Earth keeps going without us. But life,” Seokjin pauses and faces Taehyung now. “As much as our individual existence doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, to the people we love, whose life we touch. Life is a great gift to have.”
Taehyung squeezes his hands. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“Me too.”
Their lips clash together, and they hold each other and Seokjin can feel how cold Taehyung is now. He tries to warm him while they kiss until they’re both shivering too much.
“We should go back inside,” Seokjin says softly. Taehyung doesn’t argue.
Jimin and Taehyung show him their rooms and they watch something until their food arrives. Taehyung goes to get it and then they eat together. After they finish Taehyung and Jimin talk and Seokjin just listens. It’s a little loud, but Seokjin wants to take in every word. He doesn’t need to tune them out right now. He’s just very happy. Everything feels okay.
Taehyung goes to the restroom and Jimin moves closer to him.
“So, you and Tae,” Jimin starts.
“Yea,” Seokjin smiles.
“I’m so happy for you two! You guys are so cute together.” Seokjin can see real enthusiasm in his face and in the way he shakes his small fists excitedly.
“Thank you. I think so too.”
Jimin looks at him and his expression is so soft now. Seokjin’s in a mood where there’s that feeling where he has too much love inside of him and it’s bursting to come out. He suddenly feels the urge to wrap Jimin up in blankets and tell him what a great person he is. That he can count on Seokjin and ask him for anything if he needs help. He wants to hug Jimin. He could hug all of his friends now. He’d even force Yoongi into a hug he knows he’ll secretly enjoy even if he protests.
Taehyung gets back and the three of them spend their afternoon together before Jimin goes to his own room and the two of them go to Taehyung’s.
They’re getting ready for bed and Taehyung’s looking through his clothes.
“Are you going to put on your little shorts again?”
“Do you want me to?” Taehyung asks with a playful wink.
“Whatever you want to wear is okay,” Seokjin says. “I’m just trying to mentally prepare myself.”
“Well, I was planning on wearing shorts. Because they’re comfortable, not because I’m trying to seduce you,” Taehyung adds.
“For the record, I’d find you hot in anything.” Taehyung looks away and he’s all red now. “Aw, my blushing baby,” Seokjin smiles and pulls him in by his waist for a quick kiss. Taehyung whines and pushes him lightly.
“What shorts are you going to wear?” he asks.
Taehyung turns around to get his clothes and Seokjin keeps hugging him from behind. He rests his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder. Taehyung pulls out the clothes and shows them to Seokjin. The shorts and top are pink this time, with white lining.
Taehyung turns to face him and Seokjin’s mesmerized. My boyfriend is so pretty.
Seokjin catches that thought and reminds himself that not yet. Not officially anyway, but certainly in every way that matters.
“What do you think?”
“I like them,” Seokjin answers. “You’ll look very cute in them.”
Taehyung looks away and Seokjin stares at his neck for a moment before he pulls away so he can go change. He goes through his nighttime routine before getting back and then Taehyung’s next. Seokjin waits with anticipation to see Taehyung and he realizes as soon as he comes back that he really wasn’t prepared.
The pink looks so beautiful with Taehyung’s skin. All of him is enchanting. Seokjin sits back on the bed, leaning on the headboard and breaths out.
“Do you ever think about the fact that you’re too powerful?”
“What?” Taehyung laughs.
“You’re just too beautiful, too smart, too talented. It’s too much for anyone to handle.”
“I know you can take it,” Taehyung grins.
“I can’t. I’m losing my mind over here.”
Taehyung just looks amused as moves to get on the bed. Seokjin watches him make his way over and then swallows as Taehyung climbs on his lap.
“Is my wellbeing not important to you? Listen to my heart,” Seokjin pulls Taehyung’s hand and places it on his chest. “It’s beating so fast for you.”
“Shut up, you’re so dumb,” Taehyung giggles.
“I’m serious! Taehyung, have some mercy on me,” he pleads.
“Are you kidding? You’ve been terrorizing me with these shoulders for months now! Months hyung.” He cups Seokjin’s face. “Maybe it’s time you pay for all the damage you’ve made to me. All the sleep I lost dreaming about kissing these lips.” Taehyung leans forward and bites his lips.
“Ow!” Seokjin is exaggerating and Taehyung doesn’t let go. He holds Seokjin’s bottom lip in between his teeth and then sucks on it before kissing him hard.
Seokjin kisses back and he brings his hands to Taehyung’s thighs, his palms and fingers spread out across the tender skin.
It feels different how they kiss now. It’s more eager and bold. Taehyung presses himself against Seokjin and turns his head so that his neck is in front of Seokjin now and it feels like an invitation. Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to press wet kisses on Taehyung’s neck while his fingers run up and down Taehyung’s thighs. He’s about to start sucking on the skin when he stops himself because he remembers when things got too heated last time, he got too enthusiastic. He thinks they should talk about boundaries.
“Tae, wait,” he kisses him again in between his words. It’s hard to pull away. “Before we, um, get too into it,” he presses another kiss. “We should talk about what’s okay to do.”
“It’s all okay. Everything is okay,” Taehyung assures him before he starts kissing Seokjin’s neck now. Seokjin’s mind goes a little hazy. He forgets what he wanted to say for a moment but then he snaps out of it.
“Wait, I really do want to talk about it.”
“Oh.” Taehyung pulls away. “Okay.”
“I just want to know more specifically so I don’t get too carried away. You can tell me if we’re moving too fast.”
“I like how we’re going,” Taehyung quickly says. “But I get what you mean. I just, I… ah, I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. I’m not going to judge you.”
Taehyung nods but he still hesitates before he answers. “I just, I really want to get closer to you.” They’re already pressed together. The shy look in Taehyung’s face and his hand clinging to the front of Seokjin’s shirt helps him decipher what Taehyung’s asking for. Not necessarily proximity or emotional bonding.
“It’s okay for you to touch me, um, wherever you want. And maybe we can…” Taehyung stops and pouts. “Are you really going to make me say it?”
Seokjin really would like to know, but he knows that feeling in Taehyung’s eyes.
“You don’t have to baby.”
Taehyung whines then. “When you call me baby...”
“Do you not like it?”
“No, I like it,” his voice is small. “A lot more than you think.”
Seokjin smiles at Taehyung’s sweetness. “Okay baby. We can do whatever and you just tell me when to stop and I’ll stop.”
“I will.”
They start kissing again, slower, but they quickly bring back the same passion from before. Now that Taehyung is on top and more in control, Seokjin can really see what Taehyung wants. Taehyung’s hand goes from his neck to his shoulders and then to his head, his thumb rubbing on the skin in front of his ear. He kisses Seokjin so hard, his tongue inside his mouth sliding against his own tongue.
Seokjin holds a tight grip around Taehyung’s waist. He’s obsessed with the feeling of Taehyung’s weight and his body heat. Seokjin allows his hands to touch the warm smoothness of his sides and his back and slide up under his shirt.
Taehyung makes a tiny noise in his throat and pushes down against Seokjin. He’s pressing down on Seokjin’s crotch and now Seokjin has to stop himself from groaning. The hands under Taehyung’s shirt move down now, to the waistband of the shorts. He wants to touch more but he’s waiting. Waiting until he’s sure it’s okay. He goes back to Taehyung’s thighs. Moving higher and higher, fingers on Taehyung’s inner thighs and under his shorts. He can feel the goosebumps on Taehyung’s skin.
Taehyung stops kissing him to breathe out and Seokjin doesn’t even think about it before he’s kissing Taehyung’s neck. He licks and nips and sucks on his skin. He moves to his collarbones and when Taehyung lets out a quiet moan, restrained but still unable to be fully contained, Seokjin finally reaches back to grab Taehyung’s ass.
The response lets him know it’s a welcome touch. Taehyung arches his back so his ass sticks out more and Seokjin hums appreciatively. He caresses the curve through his shorts and now he’s the one moaning into Taehyung’s neck because he’s been thinking about this moment for some time now and it’s even better than he thought.
Meaty and fat, soft and jiggly enough. Taehyung wasn’t wrong when he guessed one of his kinks. He would really love to spank Taehyung a couple of times right now, bend him over his lap and just watch his ass move. Or have him on his hands and knees and Seokjin behind him, appreciating him, treating him right. Seokjin just wants to make Taehyung feel good.
“Hyung, mmh, hyung,” Taehyung whimpers. “Touch me more. Touch me, hm.”
Seokjin brings his hands back to Taehyung’s waist and moves his hips up and against Taehyung, rubbing their fronts together, his pajama pants against Taehyung’s shorts. Taehyung’s reaction is so cute. His breath is sharp and he’s squirming, holding on to Seokjin tightly. It’s so hot how turned on Taehyung is.
Seokjin guides him until Taehyung’s moving on his own and then his hands go back to his ass. His glorious, sexy ass.
They keep making out until Taehyung brings his lips to his ear and whispers breathily, “I want to suck you off so bad.” The words go straight to his dick and now Seokjin’s so hard it’s painful.
He tilts his head back and Taehyung keeps kissing him. He bites on Seokjin’s earlobe and down his neck and his tongue follows his Adam’s apple when Seokjin swallows. Taehyung’s palms Seokjin through his pants and Seokjin lets out a moan without meaning to. He knows Jimin is probably trying to sleep only a small distance away and he doesn’t know how much he could hear, but they’ve been trying to be quiet.
It’s hard though, when Taehyung starts to move down, in between his legs, a hand pulling down on the waistband and then moving inside to stroke him. Seokjin’s leg shakes and he holds himself steady while Taehyung stares at his dick wrapped around his fingers, licking his lips before moving his head down and wrapping his mouth around the tip.
He only sucks on it once and Seokjin has to fight off the sound he wants to let out. It becomes more tough when Taehyung’s eyes look up to meet his own. He can’t hold in the whimper then. Taehyung with his dick in his mouth is such a good sight. Taehyung’s eyes and lashes look so innocent but his tongue swirls around and his mouth takes him in further and it feels like sweet corruption.
Taehyung feels good, he’s so good. Seokjin knew Taehyung was talented, but he’s really learning about a whole new set of skills he has now. He takes all that he can in his mouth and then more and sucks and licks up and down and his lips look so pretty stretched around Seokjin. His fingers dig into Seokjin’s thighs. Seokjin gently runs his fingers through his scalp and then grabs a hold of his curls. He thrusts forward without meaning to and Taehyung makes a gagging sound, and it turns Seokjin on more than it should. It’s depraved how badly he wants to shove Taehyung down the rest of his length until he’s struggling.
Taehyung keeps going and his pace is slow and then increases speed. He switches between his mouth and hands and he arches his back so Seokjin can get a view of Taehyung’s ass he didn’t even know he needed. His is tongue doesn’t leave a single part untouched and he pays attention to his balls too. He hollows his cheeks and slurps and moans around him. The vibration feels so good.
The pleasure keeps going higher, heading toward a climax, faster than Seokjin wants it to. Seokjin feels like he’s going to come already. He’s close and he wants it to last more but he’s overwhelmed by Taehyung right now. He’s blowing his mind and it’s more about Taehyung being the person he sees when he looks down than anything else. Taehyung is what makes it special.
“Tae, I’m close,” he warns. Taehyung bobs his head faster and sucks harder. Seokjin pulls on Taehyung’s hair and stares at Taehyung’s half lidded eyes. “Fuck, Tae, I’m gonna cum.” When Seokjin moans unrestrained, Taehyung pulls his mouth away and strokes him until he comes in his hand.Seokjin’s never come so hard. He’s not sure if sex ever felt that good.
Seokjin lays back now and catches his breath while staring at the ceiling before squeezing his eyes shut. That felt so good. He feels so sated.
Taehyung starts kissing all the nearby bare skin and then wraps his arms around Seokjin and lays his head on his thigh, breathing heavy too.
Oh, he’s so cute. Seokjin doesn’t understand how he can be this cute after having his dick in his mouth.
Taehyung gets up and he can hear Taehyung moving around and only once he’s calmed down enough, he turns his head to watch Taehyung wipe at his hands. His hair is messy, and the strap of his top has slipped off his shoulder. Seokjin doesn't know if it’s just the afterglow and his gratefulness for how hard he fucked him up, but Taehyung looks like an actual god and he wants to serve him.
“Tae, come over here baby,” he calls out. Taehyung hurries to him and throws himself over him and kisses him messily.
While they kiss, Seokjin pushes Taehyung’s shirt up and leaves his chest exposed. He stares at Taehyung’s nipples and then brushes over them with his thumb before squeezing gently. Taehyung makes little noises, small hums and he’s not as sensitive there as Seokjin had hoped, but it’s okay. He’ll find his weak spots.
He brings his mouth down to give every part of his soft skin a kiss. From the squishy skin next to his armpit to his tummy and belly button.
“Let’s get these pretty little shorts off,” Seokjin murmurs. He wraps his arm around Taehyung and uses his weight to push him back so he can lay down and then climbs over him. He pulls down the shorts and smiles at Taehyung’s underwear. They’re black with a heart print, skintight and lace edges on the waistband and around the thighs. They hang on his hip bones and Seokjin kisses there first.
He can see how hard Taehyung is and how tightly his hand is fisted at his side and he decides that at least for today he won’t spend too much time kissing Taehyung’s thighs as much as he wants to. He’ll focus on bringing him pleasure. He feels confident that he can make Taehyung feel good. That’s all he wants. For Taehyung to see stars the way he did.
Taehyung whimpers when he pulls down his underwear and he springs free. He’s not surprised by how cute Taehyung manages to look even half naked. His hair is trimmed neatly and he’s leaking precum. Seokjin has never wanted someone in his mouth as badly as he wants Taehyung. He wants to suck him until he’s coming down his mouth and then he wants to swallow no matter what it tastes like because Taehyung’s sexy. Everything about Taehyung is so sexy and he’d do anything. He’s still so turned on.
Taehyung’s big, but Seokjin has a big mouth to match along with so much enthusiasm. He gets comfortable between Taehyung’s thighs and folds one of his legs so he can suck on the skin of his groin area. Taehyung is just too enticing to not get a taste.
“Shit,” Taehyung lets out a breathy laugh.
Seokjin realizes he’s left a hickey and he looks up at Taehyung who’s flexing his abdomen and leaning on his elbow to hold himself up to watch what Seokjin’s doing. They lock eyes as Seokjin licks the underside of Taehyung’s dick. He squeezes with his mouth and tongue and lips.
Taehyung keeps watching him until Seokjin takes him in his mouth and then he whines and throws his arms over his head and lays back. Seokjin watches him fall apart. He has nothing else on his mind now other than Taehyung and producing a physical manifestation of his adoration and appreciation for him.
Seokjin rolls his tongue and Taehyung’s hips stutter. His hands come back down and hold Seokjin’s head steady. Seokjin keeps moving until Taehyung’s quivering and right at the edge. He doesn’t let Taehyung pull away and sucks until he comes in his mouth and he swallows it all and keeps mouthing gently until Taehyung whimpers with oversensitivity.
They hold each other afterwards and Seokjin’s heart feels really warm. He presses so many kisses to Taehyung’s forehead and lips. He’s not sure what he wants to say because there’s so many things he wants to start with and so many feelings he wants to express. He can’t figure it out and the longer the silence stretches between then, the less he feels the need to say anything at all. It’s comfortable between them. He feels like they’re still speaking without words.
He stays in Taehyung’s apartment overnight. Waking up next to Taehyung brings a smile to his face and he feels like it’s going to be a good day. He’s up before Taehyung and he quietly gets out of bed to go to the restroom. On his way out, Jimin calls out from the kitchen.
“Hey, I’m making food hyung. Do you want some?”
Seokjin walks over and sees Jimin on the stove. “Yes Jimin, thank you.”
Jimin smiles at him and there’s a look in his eyes that Seokjin thinks he might be imagining. He just hopes that Jimin didn’t overhear anything and that they didn’t disturb him.
“Okay hyung, I’ll tell you when it’s ready,” he says kindly.
Seokjin nods and then heads back to Taehyung’s bedroom. Seokjin opens the door quietly but Taehyung’s already awake, and he makes grabby hands at Seokjin when he sees him. Seokjin grins and rushes over to him.
“Good morning,” Taehyung chirps. “I slept so good.” He pulls Seokjin in for a kiss. “You brushed your teeth already,” Taehyung points out, kissing him again. “I should go do that.”
“I don’t mind,” Seokjin says honestly. He kisses Taehyung and he really could just lay down and make out with him, but Taehyung wants to get out of bed and ready for the day first.
They eat breakfast with Jimin and afterwards they decide to head to the dorms so Seokjin can get settled in. No one else is in the dorm yet so they have the place to themselves. Seokjin doesn’t pretend that he’s not really looking forward to taking advantage of that.
Taehyung helps him make his bed and Seokjin puts his clothes away and they end up messing the sheets up again from rolling around while they make out. Seokjin’s shirt comes off and their hands are everywhere. It’s rushed but it feels so good to just chase after that feeling.
Taehyung’s wearing loose pants that Seokjin takes off and he’s wearing white lace underwear underneath. “Oh, wow.”
“I thought you might like it,” Taehyung licks his lips. “It’s a matching set.” At that Seokjin moves to pull off his shirt and as promised, white lace covers his chest too.
“You’re too gorgeous,” Seokjin sighs. He doesn’t know how he’s surviving this.
Taehyung’s on his lap, practically humping Seokjin’s thigh while they kiss. Seokjin grabs his ass and waist and pushes the sleeve aside to kiss Taehyung’s shoulders. Taehyung’s body feels right in his hands. It reminds him that this is real, even if it feels like a dream.
Taehyung grinds down on the bulge in Seokjin’s pants and they’re both so close that it doesn't take much for them to come. Taehyung admits that he almost came just from riding his thigh and that it would have been embarrassing. Seokjin tells him it would have been hot.
Hoseok gets there in the afternoon. They spend some time catching up until Yoongi gets there and they decide to go out for dinner first. Taehyung goes back to his apartment after that but he’s back the next day with Jimin once Namjoon arrives. They all hang out together and when Seokjin tells his friends that he’s with Taehyung now, he struggles to define what they are exactly.
“He’s my, now he’s, uh…”
“Boyfriend,” Taehyung fills in. They look at each other and Seokjin nods with a smile. He likes that.
“Yes, my boyfriend.”
His friends react how he expected them to. They’re happy for them and it feels nice to have their support.
“I knew from the moment I saw you together that it would end up like this,” Hoseok says.
“Me too,” Namjoon joins. “We predicted it. Didn’t we Hobi? Seokjin is going to end up falling for Taehyung. I said that.”
“He did,” Hoseok confirms.
“So, are you guys next?” Yoongi asks and it’s funny how they both furrow their eyebrows in confusion and then get red when they realize what he meant.
Everything falls into place after that.
School starts and he finds that most of his weekends go to spending time with Taehyung. Whether it's going out on dates or spending time alone in each other’s room, they’re constantly together. He would have thought he’d be too distracted in school, but he finds himself more motivated each day.
They each lunch together in the little office at the library and usually join as a group for dinner. They do their homework at Taehyung’s apartment and end up making out in his bed. Seokjin loves when Taehyung’s on top of him. When he wears his matching shorts and his cute panties and lace tops. Sometimes Seokjin just admires him and they do nothing and other times he kisses him everywhere until they’re both dizzy.
When Seokjin’s first round of exams hits he’s a little busier and he hates that he can’t see Taehyung as often. As soon as he takes the last one and has a day to relax, he comes over to visit Taehyung. The stress goes away when he’s in Taehyung’s room with no more responsibilities. Taehyung pulls out a bag full of nail polish and they talk while Taehyung coats his nails with a pastel purple.
“Can I paint your nails?” Taehyung asks Seokjin when he’s done with his own. “You can choose from these.”
There’s glittery ones and pastel colors and bold ones and Taehyung notes that he doesn't like the matte ones as much, so he won’t find many of those. Seokjin chooses a pale pink nail polish and while they wait for them to dry, they put on a movie. Taehyung adds little white butterfly designs to his nails and then sunflowers on Seokjin’s.
“My cousin really likes painting his nails,” Seokjin says. “Remember Jungkook?”
“Jungkook! Yes,” Taehyung smiles with recognition. “I miss him. We got along well.”
“We should visit him later. Maybe in the summer or during the break?”
“Yes. Let’s do that,” Taehyung happily agrees.
It feels nice to make plans months in advance.
Seokjin loves being realistic more than idealistic. He doesn’t like to dream too much about things he feels won’t ever come true. But imagining a future with Taehyung seems easier every day.
They watch another movie when the first one is over and Seokjin grows sleepy. He’d stayed up studying and now he’s tired. He feels cuddly and in need of affection so he keeps kissing Taehyung. Their lips warm. Plump and tender and lazy. Seokjin lays his head on Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung plays with his hair until he falls asleep.
Life keeps moving and Seokjin realizes one day that Taehyung has really become a part of his routine now. The thought makes him happy.
As the weather warms up a little, Taehyung starts wearing more skirts. He pairs them with sweaters and tights, and they look beautiful on him.
They get ready to go out and they keep kissing right after Taehyung applies his lipgloss and he needs to keep reapplying it.
“I’m going to tell Hobi hyung I’m really enjoying his gift,” Taehyung grins as he applies the strawberry flavored lip gloss for the fourth time.
“Oh, he’d really appreciate that,” Seokjin says. And he would. Seokjin knows Hoseok is strange enough that he’d be really touched to hear that his gift brought joy, in any form. He’d probably give Taehyung lingerie if he told him that it’d make both of them happy. Which…
Seokjin chastises himself. The night’s just beginning and he’s already sexually frustrated. It’s hard to keep his hands and mouth off Taehyung the whole time and even harder when they’re back home and laying down together.
Taehyung’s made himself small and wrapped his arms around Seokjin. He’s already kissed the crown of his head and his nose a few times but no matter how sweet the moment is, Seokjin can’t stop his thoughts from being riddled with perversion.
It’s been less than a month since they started dating and while they’ve explored a little more each time, Seokjin still has one more thing he wants. He can’t stop thinking about it. Not while Taehyung acts cute and giggly. Not while they hold hands and speak softly. Not even when they talk about school, which is not hot at all.
Taehyung tells him about something Jimin was going through. Seokjin is sympathetic, he really is. But he has a hand on Taehyung’s thigh that’s been slowly traveling up and down, up and down.
Is he allowed to be this horny while cuddling? Taehyung’s just so warm and soft and curvy and pretty and fuck this isn’t helping him. He wants to press kisses all over Taehyung. The more affection he feels for him, the more he just wants to show Taehyung how much he cherishes him. He remembers every single time he’s made Taehyung come as he nods along to his voice. He’s listening, he is. It’s just that he’s simultaneously picturing Taehyung’s mouth open and head thrown back in utter bliss.
Seokjin wouldn't mind getting a little sloppy with it. Taking his time. Getting Taehyung wet with his mouth and making him tremble. Taehyung’s pleasure is his own. If he could draw out those delicate sounds, make it last a torturously sweet amount of time, get him right on the edge of overwhelming euphoria.
Taehyung moves on to something else and Seokjin’s hand slips a little higher. Taehyung’s shorts hike up and Seokjin doesn’t miss the little noise Taehyung lets out when he digs his fingers in gently. A light pressure that draws in a sharp breath from Taehyung that he wouldn’t have been able to hear if it weren’t so quiet in the room. Seokjin’s aching. So fucking turned on it hurts.
“What are you thinking about?” Taehyung asks. “You’ve been so quiet.”
“Uh, not much.” Seokjin’s face gets hot. Taehyung doesn't seem to notice and just snuggles against Seokjin.
“I’m kind of getting sleepy,” Taehyung yawns. “Should we nap hyung?” He smiles at Seokjin sweetly, blinking his eyes.
“Um, yea, if you want.”
Taehyung closes his eyes and they’re quiet. Seokjin’s hand is still smoothing over Taehyung’s skin. He shuts his eyes too and thinks maybe he should just go to sleep or wait until Taehyung falls asleep to jerk off.
“You want me to give you a blow job first?”
Seokjin’s eyes snap open and he sees Taehyung looking at him with an amused smile.
“You weren’t even listening to me,” he accuses.
“I was!” Seokjin denies. “I heard everything you said. Jimin uh, something…”
“Hyung!”
“I’m sorry,” Seokjin lays on his back and pulls his hand away in embarrassment. “I was a little distracted, but I did listen,” he insists. “I just can’t recall right at this moment.
Taehyung pretends to be upset for a second before he’s moving his hand to Seokjin’s chest and resting it there.
“There’s actually something I’ve been thinking about, that I wanted to mention. Remember when you said that we should talk about some things…” Taehyung trails off.
“What things?”
“Like sex things. Wait that sounds stupid.” Taehyung sits up and takes a deep breath. “When you said we should talk about what’s okay. And when you were trying to, uh you know, and I stopped you.”
Seokjin sits up too and nods. He remembers.
“I’ve been thinking about how I feel,” he pauses and speaks slowly, like he’s a little nervous. “And I think I’m ready to take that next step.”
Seokjin’s really alert now. He sits straight and turns to face Taehyung.
“I’m not even going to ask you if you’re ready because I know you are.”
Seokjin can’t help his laughter and Taehyung smiles at him.
“I want to have sex with you.” It sounds too soft coming out of his mouth. Too soft for the way Seokjin throbs in his pants. “And I know it’s not really sexy to plan it out and not just be spontaneous and driven by passion and the spur of the moment and all of that, but I want to talk about it before we do anything. I think that would make me feel a lot better.” Taehyung plays with the sleeves of his shirt and pulls one to cover his hand.
Seokjin forgets about his dick for a moment and feels his heart warm. Taehyung’s too endearing.
“Baby,” he juts out his bottom lip. “You don’t have to worry about wanting to talk it out first.”
Taehyung looks back at him with his big eyes vulnerable and Seokjin just wants him to know he can trust him. Seokjin holds out his hands and they lace their fingers together.
“More than anything, I want you to feel comfortable and safe and respected. We could wait or talk about this for as long as you want,” he reassures. “And it’ll always be sexy. If you want to set a time and date for when we have sex that just means I’ll be incredibly excited and counting down every minute until then.”
Taehyung giggles. “Why are you so horny?”
“Because. You’re too powerful,” Seokjin whines playfully. “Seriously though, you don’t ever have to apologize to me for wanting to plan and talk things out first. I love planning things out.”
“Okay,” Taehyung smiles. “So, I guess my first question would be about preferences.” Taehyung presses his lips together before continuing. “I personally really enjoy bottoming,” he says slowly. “What about you?”
Seokjin tries not to look too excited about Taehyung saying that. He’s got scenarios in his head again and his dick reminds him that he’s still hard. Still so damn horny and looking for release.
“Well, I think I’d be willing to try anything, but I like topping better.”
Taehyung nods slowly. “Good, good.” He turns to face Seokjin too and he seems to hesitate before he stands on his knees and then swings a leg to get on Seokjin’s lap. “And do you like,” he drags his teeth on the corner of his lip. “Taking care of your partner. Treating them well. Going slow.” Taehyung trails his fingers down Seokjin’s face. His butt is pressing down on Seokjin’s bulge on his pants and he feels himself twitch.
“I’d be so good to you Tae,” Seokjin promises. “I’d spoil you because you deserve that baby.”
Taehyung kisses him and Seokjin’s hands wrap around his waist. For a moment they abandon the conversation and just focus on each other’s lips. Seokjin lets Taehyung lead. He’s gentle with his hands and lips.
Taehyung pulls away and cups Seokjin’s face. “I trust you a lot,” he says. Seokjin smiles softly at that. “I hate when people make assumptions about me and how they can treat me. I’ve had people say things that weren’t appropriate or appealing to me. I don’t like anyone reducing me to a stereotype.”
“I would never do that,” Seokjin assures.
“I know. That’s what I love about you. You take me as I am and don’t try to push me to be anything else.” Taehyung kisses him deeper before he pulls back again.
“How do you feel about Wednesday?” he asks against his lips. “It’s three days from now and Jimin will have dance practice until late so we can be alone. I only have two classes and you don’t work so we can have time to shower and get ready before we meet back here around five. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds perfect,” Seokjin says eagerly. “I’ll look forward to it.”
“Me too,” Taehyung grins. He kisses him again. “So, what do you say that I try riding your thigh for now? You still think it’d be hot?”
Seokjin groans. “Yes. Yes, let’s do that.”
While Taehyung rubs himself on his thigh and bounces while they kiss, he imagines him sitting on his dick instead. He wonders how loud Taehyung would get and if he’d be comfortable sitting on his face. Maybe one day. That would be very hot. He wants to make Taehyung come just from eating him out.
Taehyung pulls Seokjin’s throbbing dick out and wraps his hands around it. Seokjin grabs a handful of Taehyung’s ass and just enjoys the feeling as they move together. Taehyung’s teeth wrap around his ear and lips and tug. They’re both more confident now. There’s a level of trust that’s built from getting more used to getting to being with each other like this and continuously opening up. Their prior conversation also adds fuel to their fire, and it leads to a powerful orgasm that tires them out.
In the following days they discuss a few more things. They talk about condoms, lube, toys, their likes and dislikes. He gets random messages from Taehyung during the day about something he remembered he wanted to say.
On Wednesday he stares at the wall during class, thinking hard about what is going to happen later on before he has to force himself to take notes so he doesn’t get a boner in the middle of lecture.
He’s just getting back to his room when his phone buzzes a few times. He sees it’s from Taehyung and quickly clicks on the notification. He stares at his phone for a moment, completely still, before bringing his hand up to his chest and tilting his head up, closing his eyes and letting out a big breath.
It’s several pictures of Taehyung. He’s pursing his lips in one of them. He can’t see everything, but the shirt he’s wearing shows all of his collarbones and dips into his chest. There’s another picture where he’s just staring at the camera, but the look he’s giving him is enough to drive Seokjin crazy. The last one is of his jeans unbuttoned and there’s lace peeking through. One more message follows that.
what do you think hyung?
Seokjin’s thinking all sorts of things, but he only sends hearts back instead and tells him he can’t wait to see him.
He showers thoroughly and then picks out his clothes. He wears a gray tank top and a red plaid shirt that he keeps open. He waits for Taehyung to tell him he can over and dries his hair meanwhile. He sprays on cologne before he goes. The way over to his apartment feels painfully long.
He realizes he’s a little nervous when he gets there. A good nervous. He takes a deep breath before he knocks on the door and then Taehyung lets him in a few seconds later.
“Hello,” Seokjin smiles at him.
Taehyung smiles back and closes the door once they’re both inside. “Hey.” He looks Seokjin over. “You look good.”
“So do you.”
Taehyung is wearing blue jeans that wrap around his waist, right below his navel. His satin top looks flimsy. It has strings that cross back around his neck and loop around his back three times before they tie into a loose bow at the bottom. He can see most of his bare back when he turns around, gorgeous tan skin.
“You look really beautiful,” Seokjin adds.
“Thank you,” Taehyung says softly. “I really thought about what I wanted to wear. Feeling sexy helps me get in the mood.”
“You look so sexy,” Seokjin adds dumly. He knows Taehyung doesn’t need confirmation, but he seems to appreciate it anyway.
“You too,” Taehyung grins.
Seokjin’s cheeks heat up while Taehyung eyes him.
It’s quiet and then Seokjin laughs a little and Taehyung does too. The nervousness seems to break a bit then and Seokjin walks to hold his hand. Taehyung takes it easily and they walk to his bedroom. There’s anticipation bubbling in Seokjin’s chest.
Everything’s spot clean. The bed is made and inviting.
“I put everything we might need here,” Taehyung says, leading him to the bedside table. There’s a towel and a bottle of lube and a condom packet next to a cloth bag.
“What’s this?” Seokjin asks, touching the bag.
“It’s uh, my dildo,” Taehyung rushes to say. “In case…” Seokjin nods and Taehyung hums.
“Should we play some music? Do you mind?” Taehyung asks.
“No, that’s good with me.”
Taehyung walks to turn on his speaker and then messes around with his phone. He sets it down and then music quietly fills the room.
Seokjin looks at Taehyung and it feels like something’s shifted. There’s a clarity that comes with the rush in his system. Taehyung looks at him too and he feels so emotional he could cry. He loves Taehyung. He loves him so much. He’s excited to fuck Taehyung, he is. But it feels like more than that. He’s ready to share something intimate and vulnerable.
“Are you nervous?” he asks Taehyung.
“A little.” Taehyung pulls Seokjin closer and they’re right at the edge of his bed. “It’s been a while since I slept with anyone.”
“We’ll take it slow.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.” Taehyung swings their hands together and pulls Seokjin in and he goes for a kiss. It’s a slow press, quiet and followed by a few more quick successive kisses. “I really want this. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day.”
Seokjin feels happy hearing that. It feels good to hear that he’s wanted too. Desired.
“I was so distracted during class,” Taehyung admits before kissing Seokjin’s jaw. “I kept thinking about your hands on me. You… inside of me. I know you’re going to take good care of me.” The last part sounds muffled because he whispers it against Seokjin’s skin while he mouths along his neck but Seokjin still hears. “Because I’m your baby.”
“You are, my baby boy,” Seokjin breaths out. He picks his hand up to caress Taehyung now. His shoulders and arms and his bare waist and back. All soft and smooth and precious.
Seokjin places his hands on his hips and Taehyung wraps his arms around his neck. They kiss slowly with tongue, savoring. Taehyung tastes so good. His mouth feels so inviting and warm. His tongue smooths over Seokjin’s, giving and generous. Exquisite.
They kiss until they break apart so Taehyung can move to sit on the bed and even then Seokjin chases his lips quickly. Taehyung lays down and Seokjin gets over him. They’ve done this before but it’s different this time. The best type of different.
Seokjin acts like he has all the time in the world. He kisses everywhere and keeps moving his hands down Taehyung’s sides. There’s so much to appreciate with Taehyung. Every feature of his face, every bone sticking out and every plush and squishy piece of skin. Every mark unique to Taehyung, making him that much more stunning.
Seokjin keeps covering Taehyung’s body with kisses until he seems more relaxed. Until Taehyung surrenders and he just lays down and just lets Seokjin do everything. They’d discussed this the day before. Taehyung likes his partners to pamper him while he lays there and just gets pleasured. Which honestly Seokjin finds perfect because how else are you supposed to act when you have an actual angel as your boyfriend? He can’t even fathom not working to spoil the hell out of Taehyung.
He knows they have a lot to explore. A lot more that comes after this first time and it’s really exciting. But this moment is perfect on its own.
Seokjin kisses Taehyung’s nose, and he giggles. “Hyung.”
“Baby,” he murmurs.
Seokjin pulls down on his jeans and Taehyung helps him by staying still so Seokjin can slide off the tight fitting material. He’s mesmerized by Taehyung’s thighs and the sight of the lace panties. He’ll never stop appreciating how incredibly sexy Taehyung looks like this. He touches Taehyung while they make out and it feels so calm even though he’s turned on. They’re in a paradise of their own and time flows at a different speed.
“Take off your shirt,” Taehyung asks and Seokjin complies. He removes the plaid first and then before he can reach to pull off the tank top, Taehyung’s hands move to rest on his shoulders and they move to the sides. “So hot,” he comments before kissing him there. Taehyung starts sucking and Seokjin lets him leave as many marks as he wants.
While Taehyung’s busy with that, Seokjin touches his hardening dick through the lace. He slides his hand inside his panties and strokes him a few times while his thumb presses on the head. Taehyung groans into his kisses on Seokjin’s neck.
He pulls away with a gasp when Seokjin flicks his wrist and he wriggles under him. “That feels so good hyung.” Seokjin keeps doing it a little more before he keeps moving forward.
“Can I finger you now?” Seokjin asks softly.
“Yes.” Taehyung kisses him and then sits up and turns. He crawls over to the side of the bed to reach for the lube and Seokjin stares at his ass while he does so. His panties cover half of his asscheeks and Seokjin wants to just slap him a little, so he reaches forward and does. Taehyung lets out a little yelp, but it is soft and Seokjin knows he didn’t cause any pain. His butt just jiggles enticingly and Seokjin is itching to get his hands and mouth on it.
“How do you want to be?” Seokjin asks him when he gets back.
“We can put a pillow under me,” Taehyung suggests and Seokjin agrees. Taehyung lays his upper back and rests his head on the bed while he lifts up his hips and rests on top of a fluffy pillow. They set the towel down on top of it, so they don’t get anything dirty and then Seokjin opens the cap of the bottle of lube.
The sound makes both of them get serious.
Taehyung bends his knees and spreads his legs and Seokjin decides to distract him first with his mouth. When he pulls Taehyung’s panties off, moving his leg to get them through, he gives each one of his feet a kiss.
At that Taehyung lets out an amused giggle. “So, you have a thing for feet too now,” Taehyung teases.
“I don’t have a foot fetish. I just really have a thing for anything that has to do anything with you.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything then, and Seokjin’s too stunned by looking at Taehyung to keep defending himself. In between plush asscheeks and his balls and his hard dick, Taehyung’s hole is pretty and small. Seokjin has looked at Taehyung’s open legs before, but not this openly with everything on display. And he’s never gotten to touch before.
Seokjin squeezes some lube in his hands and while he warms it up between two fingers, he leans down to press a kiss on his hole. Taehyung jolts a little, but he relaxes as Seokjin kisses his inner thighs and butt and as he brings one of Taehyung’s balls in his mouth, one at a time before he licks up his dick until he reaches the tip. He brings his dry thumb to his hole first and just massages the soft ring gently while his mouth keeps moving. He feels Taehyung’s hole pucker with the touch. Seokjin brings a hand to rest on Taehyung’s hip and tummy. He feels how he’s still a little tense and he waits until he’s relaxed his muscles to start probing his hole with the tip of his index finger. Taehyung gasps softly, but he doesn’t tense up again. He makes a little sound and Seokjin keeps going.
Little by little his finger is all the way inside. He wiggles it around slowly and then brings his mouth down, licking a stripe until his tongue is joining his finger. Seokjin moans because Taehyung tastes so good and he needs more. His finger comes out and is replaced entirely by his tongue. He uses his hands to spread his cheeks open instead and get better access to his hole. He devours Taehyung with his mouth. He’s never even eaten anyone out before and never felt the urge to until Taehyung. It’s a new experience that he’s quickly becoming obsessed with.
Taehyung whines so pretty. Neither one of them holds back. Seokjin has wanted this for too long and it feels too good to not make the most of it. He moves his mouth with fervor and uses his tongue vehemently.
When Seokjin finally pulls away because he needs to breathe, he gets a good look at Taehyung and it is otherworldly. There’s something about Taehyung with just his silky top on and his crown of curls that is just a really beautiful sight. He looks blissed out and Seokjin hasn’t even properly stretched him out. He’s so ready to take him apart. Seokjin takes a picture in his mind of the way Taehyung looks now.
He gets more lube and adds in a second finger with the first one from before. Taehyung seems very responsive to it. Every sound he makes indicates that he’s enjoying it. Seokjin scissors his fingers and waits until he’s sure to add another.
He goes slow, but Taehyung still writhes and pouts his lips at the stretch from the third finger. Seokjin moves to kiss the small frown away and he keeps comforting him.
“It’s okay, it’s okay baby.”
“Mhm,” Taehyung whimpers. His hand reaches out to hold Seokjin’s wrist, but he makes no move to stop him. He just holds on until he starts to let out little moans and then he’s moving his hand to card his fingers through Seokjin’s hair and pulling him in for a kiss.
“Are you okay?” Seokjin waits until he’s steadied to ask.
“Yes.”
Seokjin curls his fingers and keeps moving until he finds the spot he’s looking for.
“A-ah, fuck,” Taehyung moans. “Right there. Keep touching me there.”
Seokjin adds a little more direct pressure and just that’s enough for Taehyung to get louder. He keeps moving his fingers until Taehyung’s asking for more.
“I’m ready,” he assures. “I just want you to fill me up. Make me feel good.”
Seokjin’s throbbing now. The whole time he ignored his own needs because satisfying Taehyung felt like enough. But now he’s going to fuck him and he’s so fucking hard in his pants.
Seokjin goes to grab the condom from the table and Taehyung pulls his tank top off before going to unbutton his jeans. He gets Seokjin naked and then puts the condom on him with the sweet pressure of his fingers. Seokjin coats himself with more lube before he makes a move to line himself up.
He checks in on Taehyung first. “Is this okay? Do you want to change positions or wait a little more?”
Taehyung shakes his head no. “Need you now.” Yea, Seokjin doesn’t even know how he could wait either. They’ve been building up to this and he wants it so badly.
He rubs his dick in between Taehyung’s ass cheeks before he starts slowly pressing in. He looks at Taehyung so he can see the look on his face. His eyebrows rise a little and he breathes in sharply before he’s licking his lips and looking only at Seokjin. Seokjin feels it in his heart and it spreads through his whole body. Taehyung trusts him as he lays at his mercy. There’s no trace of doubt, only excitement. Seokjin pushes in deeper and doesn’t move any more than that. It still feels so good just being squeezed by Taehyung’s warm insides.
“Mm, I feel so full.” Taehyung wraps his legs around Seokjin’s hips and Seokjin leans forward to kiss him while he waits. Taehyung feels so tight around him. His body feels so warm and they hug each other while Seokjin rolls his hips slowly and Taehyung throws his head back and lets out a whiny moan as he adjusts. Seokjin does all that he can to ease Taehyung and he waits with his mouth on his favorite spot on Taehyung’s neck, sucking and nibbling a little. Taehyung comes back, pulling Seokjin into a kiss. Seokjin feels how much more comfortable he seems with his size and he begins moving more.
“Always surpassing all my expectations,” Taehyung says against his mouth.
Seokjin picks up speed and Taehyung jolts, but he grips him with his nails and arches his back so he keeps going. Taehyung’s lip quivers and he lets out a shaky exhale.
“Does that feel good baby?” Seokjin asks. He can see the pleasure in Taehyung’s face, but he wants to hear him say it.
“Ngh, yes, yes, so good,” he pants. He thrusts harder into Taehyung. Opening him and drawing out little moans every time he uses more force.
Taehyung’s hands trail down his back, fingernails slightly scraping, and it sends shivers down Seokjin’s spine.
“Hyung, harder, please,” Taehyung breathes out.
The sensations and emotions make for a powerful pull that lead him to give in into his desires. He has a weakness for Taehyung. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to say no to anything he asked for. He listens to Taehyung’s body language so he won’t push too far while also letting go of everything holding him back.
Seokjin fucks Taehyung hard into the mattress and Taehyung pulls on his hair. Seokjin likes the sting.The bed squeaks when Seokjin goes faster and Taehyung moves to clutch his shoulders. Seokjin holds on to Taehyung’s legs and he pushes him further, bending him in half.
“Keep going, mm, like that, mhm,” Taehyung moans. Seokjin’s found a good angle that gets Taehyung to lose it, so he snaps his hips in the same place and hits that spot. “Don’t stop.” His whines and the squelching sound of the lube and skin against skin and the heat and sweat and the desperation as they get closer fills the room.
They slow down and kiss, their mouths holding onto each other with need. It’s so sloppy now. Slick with saliva and want.
“You’re so perfect. You’re perfect for me baby.”
They share desire and express their want and need through words breathed out in between unrestrained sounds and emotions. It’s so easy to get lost and yet feel found.
Taehyung kisses him harder and Seokjin knows he’s so close. He’s close too and he starts thrusting with purpose, driving them closer to the edge. He gets a surge of energy as he fucks into Taehyung and he sits up straight now, on his knees. He grabs Taehyung’s thighs and pulls him closer and watches Taehyung's hole stretched around him while he holds on to his tiny waist. He’s living for the image of his dick pounding into Taehyung’s ass.
He feels pride at the way Taehyung’s moaning loud and without any self consciousness just for him. Because of him. Pretty like a doll and delicate, but also strong. Taking everything Seokjin gives him.
Taehyung’s legs and body shake harder than before. He whines with each thrust and he sounds like he’s going to cry from how good he’s feeling. He gets a little quiet right before he comes, and then there’s spurts of cum coming down on his tummy and navel. His skin is flushed, pretty pink cheeks and a few curls sticking to his forehead.
Taehyung looks unbelievably ethereal. Seokjin can barely take it. He doesn’t stop looking at Taehyung even as his thrusts become erratic. He’s chasing after his release now, too overwhelmed to keep a steady rhythm. He fixates on Taehyung’s heavy breathing and his own grunts, the last few thrusts as the build up comes crashing down and then he’s coming.
He feels his lucidity momentarily slip away and moves a few more times before he’s falling forward, on top of Taehyung who feels so soft under him. He holds on to Seokjin, their mouths against each other, breathing out and sharing hot air between them. Seokjin lets Taehyung mouth at his lips. He presses wet kisses on his jaw. Seokjin lays on Taehyung for a few moments more before he pulls out and moves to dispose of the used condom.
He grabs the towel and wipes down Taehyung who watches him.
“Oh, fuck I got my shirt dirty with cum,” Taehyung pouts. Seokjin finds the spot and cleans it too. When he finishes he moves to kiss Taehyung’s stomach. He presses his teeth gently and slowly adds pressure, nibbling on his tummy. Taehyung shuffles down and they tangle their limbs together.
Seokjin looks at Taehyung and smiles. He probably looks stupid, feels so elated and silly. Taehyung smiles back and he looks just as fucked out as Seokjin feels.
“I’ve never came so hard,” Taehyung whispers. “I can’t believe I stained my shirt.”
Seokjin snorts without meaning to and he kisses Taehyung’s pout away. “I’m sorry baby. You’re just cute.”
“No one’s ever eaten my ass before. I didn’t know it’d feel that good.”
“Really? With that ass?”
Taehyung giggles.
“I’m glad you liked it though,” Seokjin smiles. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll eat you out every day now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Taehyung grins.
“It’s my dream though. This is what I was meant to do. I was so confused before, but I think this is my purpose in life.”
“Maybe the stars aligned so we’d meet at this exact moment so you could eat my ass at this exact day.” Taehyung nods seriously. “Who am I to argue with the universe?”
“Exactly. Don’t argue with me baby,” Seokjin grins and tucks Taehyung’s head under his chin.
They bask in the glow before they move to wash up and hydrate and get dressed.
Taehyung puts on another shirt. It’s stretchy and has wavy edges on each long sleeve. His midriff shows from the gap between his shorts and top. Seokjin borrows sweatpants and puts his tank top back on. They order food and eat in Taehyung’s bed.
Taehyung clings to him. He’s everywhere and Seokjin likes it. They press and wrap around each other, so close together like it’s unbearable to be apart. They don’t leave the room much other than to use the restroom and get ready for bed. Before they sleep Taehyung looks at him with a soft look. They lay on their sides and face each other. It’s silent for a few minutes as they take a moment to appreciate the intimacy between them.
“I felt so close to you today.” Taehyung’s voice is quiet when he speaks. “This was a meaningful moment for me that I knew I was going to enjoy regardless, but you really made it perfect.”
Seokjin feels so warm with his words and he reaches a hand to rest on Taehyung’s waist lightly.
“I know that I’m giving a lot of importance and holding so much weight to things like sex between us, but it’s just that for me, this is serious. When I dated other people before it was just for fun, but it’s always been more than that with you.” Taehyung’s eyes bore into his but Seokjin feels comfortable. “I’ve liked you for so long hyung. Since I was twelve and you were fourteen I had a crush on you.”
“You did?” Seokjin’s surprised.
“Yes,” Taehyung smiles at his confession.
“Wow.”
Taehyung keeps smiling, a calm look on his face. “I want to take care of this thing between us. Our relationship, it’s important to me.”
“Tae, you’re so special to me.” He rubs little circles with thumb soothingly. “Our relationships is important for me too. I don’t ever want to see you hurt.” Taehyung’s eyes are sensitive, unguarded. He holds so many feelings there and Seokjin just wants to handle him with care. “Every time that we spend time together and I just get to see pieces of who I knew and things that are brand new to me I’m more amazed,” Seokjin goes on. “The way you see the world with all your colors. Your creativity and passion is so admirable and beautiful. I just feel so proud of you. You’re so confident and inspiring to me.”
Taehyung’s eyes sparkle, a little watery. Seokjin brings a hand up to play with his hair, comforting him.
“You inspire me too,” Taehyung voice trembles. “You inspired me then and you do now.” Seokjin watches his eyes get full of tears and he feels a pang in his heart for the emotion there. He doesn’t like seeing Taehyung cry. “You’re got incredible friends that love you so much. You take care of everyone around you even if they get on your nerves,” he giggles and Seokjin smiles. “Everyone that knows you respects you. You’re so smart and gentle. You’re the nicest person I know.” Taehyung wipes at a tear that makes it out. “I love you,” he lets out gently.
“I love you too baby.” Seokjin doesn’t cry, but he wants to.
Taehyung sniffles a few times and pats his cheeks dry. Seokjin holds him close until he’s all smiles again.
They talk a little more and it’s soft and mushy and overly sweet, but Seokjin is perfectly okay with letting Taehyung see his heart for what it is. Seokjin doesn’t question anything in that moment, he just revels in all of his feelings. When they fall asleep, Taehyung brings a hand around his middle, holding him and Seokjin feels loved and content.
The feeling stays after that.
There’s still stress from too much schoolwork and studying and phone calls from his parents he keeps getting at the worst times, but there’s also a happiness that follows him everywhere. It’s knowing that he’s going to get to see Taehyung later in the day or that he’ll see his face first thing when he wakes up when they sleep together. It’s looking forward to eating lunch with Taehyung and kissing him before they part ways. It’s just Taehyung and his existence brightening everything around him.
Taehyung explains the feeling as a filter. They’re in his apartment and Taehyung is painting on the balcony while Seokjin drinks coffee and takes notes on the table. Taehyung has an assignment due in two weeks that he's been working on constantly and Seokjin asks him what his painting is about.
“Throughout our experiences in life, there’s constantly a wide array of emotions and states of happiness and unhappiness. There’s no destiny or pathway that leads to complete misery or paradise. Even in sorrow and despair, there’s moments of laughter and in utter bliss there’s obstacles. Our lives are never hopeless but also never perfect. But,” Taehyung stops and he’s got a paintbrush on his hand that he’s using for emphasis.
He’s drowning in a huge shirt that goes past the shorts he’s wearing under and his hair is pulled into two buns. He looks absolutely adorable.
“Sometimes there’s this filter in our lives that makes things all gloomy or all bright. Things are going perfectly fine, but you feel sad inside,” he points the end of the paintbrush to the right side of the painting. “Or you’re going through a hard time but there’s something that still gets you to smile.” Now there’s a tap on the left side. “It’s a filter, the way you look at life. It can be chosen or a consequence of circumstances. Pessimism versus optimism. Privilege versus getting drawn a bad hand.”
Seokjin looks at the painting. The two sides juxtaposed against each other. Full color and grayscale. And there’s Taehyung in the middle.
“This is for my self-portrait project,” Taehyung goes on. “We’re supposed to show how we view life and how we view ourselves. That’s why I used bright colors for my own face. Things aren’t completely okay, but I think right now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” Taehyung looks at him again now that he’s finished and sets his paintbrush down before walking over to him.
“And what’s been making you so happy?” Seokjin grins.
“Well, there’s this tall, handsome guy with really wide shoulders that’s responsible for a lot of my happiness lately.”
“Oh, should I be jealous?”
“I thought you weren’t the type,” Taehyung sits on his lap and throws his arms around him.
“Well, if he’s that handsome.”
“Oh, he is,” Taehyung assures. He’s got the biggest smile on his face with his big cheeks and teeth and crinkles in his eyes making him look like the definition of happiness. “Very handsome hyung.”
Seokjin smiles and hugs him close before kissing him.
“Fuck, I stained your pants with paint,” Taehyung hisses when they pull away. He jumps up and rushes to the glass door.
“It’s okay,” Seokjin calls out.
“It’s acrylic. It won’t wash off,” Taehyung yells from where he ran inside the room. He comes back with a wet cloth and he spends time cleaning Seokjin’s pants until they’re paint free even though it’s really okay.
Taehyung goes back to his painting and Seokjin goes back to his homework. When Seokjin’s frustrated he stops and alternates between watching Taehyung paint and looking for shapes in clouds. The day is cloudy, and the air is fresh but not windy so that his papers flap around. The weather, like the moment, is perfect.
They wait two more hours before they get hungry and Seokjin’s ordering food. He goes to get it at the door so Taehyung can keep painting. He brings out napkins and drinks for them outside and they eat while Taehyung occasionally paints a little more. He gets paint on his palm and he wipes it on his shirt before he grabs his cup to take a sip.
A strand of hair falls on Taehyung’s forehead and he pushes it back with his wrist to avoid getting his hair dirty. He’s so dainty and lovely. Just watching him is enough to make all of Seokjin’s worries go away.
Seokjin chews slowly and waits for Taehyung to join him back at the table after he paints a small corner of the canvas.
“I’m sorry, I’m just flowing with inspiration,” Taehyung says as he sits back down.
“It’s okay,” Seokjin reassures him. Taehyung takes a bite and pouts while he eats.
Seokjin swallows before he speaks. “What you said about the filter,” Seokjin starts. “I get exactly what you mean. That’s how I feel right now about us. It’s like no matter what happens, I have you,” Seokjin says.
Taehyung smiles gently. “Yea, you have me,” he repeats. “So nothing seems so bad.” He brings his chopsticks up to take a bite but then quickly puts it down. “Oh! I need to write something down. Can I borrow a page from your notebook?”
“Yes,” Seokjin readily agrees.
“I got an idea for a painting,” he explains while he quickly scribbles. “I can see it so well in my head right now, so I need to write it down.”
Seokjin thinks while they eat and Taehyung paints. He doesn’t know how he ended up here. It wasn’t that Seokjin thought that he’d never develop feelings like these for anyone, he just thought it might be unlikely. He hadn’t wanted something like this for some time now.
He remembers when he was finishing his first year at the university, studying for finals at four in the morning while promising himself to never procrastinate that badly again and also briefly considering just quitting school. He’d had a spiral of thoughts in between drinking too much coffee and sleeping less than four hours each night for three days. He’d just finished studying the last chapters for his biology final and started going through review for chemistry when he got to the part about the different types of bonds and he read over the meaning again. He’s got them perfectly memorized now, but back then he’d always forget.
He started thinking about people and the guy he was seeing and bonds that are made and then he was writing it down so he could make associations that would hopefully help him remember for the test.
There are ionic bonds. While one atom gave electrons and the other received. A relationship where one gives, and one takes. Seokjin writes down selfish next to the word.
Next he wrote covalent bonds. They shared electrons. He draws a heart next to it.
Hydrogen bonds aren’t really bonds, but attraction. A weak pull that could be easily formed and broken.
He’d thought to himself that he’d be happy with the fleeting bond of attraction. He didn’t need a committed relationship or marriage to feel fulfilled with his life. He made a bunch of stars next to hydrogen bonds and then moved on to the next topic for the test.
And then he hadn’t thought about it much since then until now. He can’t imagine something fleeing with Taehyung. He always wants him around, as partners or friends or anything in between, he wants him to always stay. Now that he’s got the Taehyung filter in his life, he feels more positive about life. He wonders now how’d it would be to go back home with his new way of looking at things. Would he feel brighter there too?
Taehyung comes back and continues eating and Seokjin stares at him.
“I have an idea for my final photography project,” Taehyung tells him after he eats half of the food on his plate. “It’s not due until more than a month from now, but we have to submit our proposals next week.” Taehyung takes a bite from his food and eats before he continues.
“I want to talk about being free to exist as we please. Like you know how sometimes we focus on things like acceptance and tolerance when it’s really nobody’s business what we do with our lives. For me to say that I need acceptance is like I’m giving merit to the idea that anyone has the right to decide if my existence is acceptable.”
Seokjin hums as he listens. He’s intrigued by what Taehyung is saying.
Taehyung is quiet in between bites before he starts again.
“I used to want acceptance so bad,” he admits. “But I’m past that now. I don’t give a fuck if people are uncomfortable with who I am.”
Seokjin is so proud of him. He understands exactly what he’s saying. He once imagined that showing pride required him to be out to everyone because if he wasn’t it meant he had something to hide. To be ashamed of. He’s realized that just being himself is enough.
He’s not like Taehyung in many ways. He’s still nervous about wearing certain outfits or trying out new styles. There’s a lot he keeps to himself. Little things he does to keep himself from sharing too much. But he is similar to Taehyung in a sense. He knows that the only acceptance he needs is from himself. No one else has a claim over his life.
Seokjin smiles while Taehyung talks. He loves hearing Taehyung share his thoughts.
He feels attraction, but it’s much stronger than just looks and superficial things. Taehyung always interests him. The way he expresses himself is what he admires the most about him. It’s why he always wants to share his good news to him first. Why he’s not afraid to say what he thinks to Taehyung. He knows he’ll get him. He just wants Taehyung to feel happy with his life. He wants to support Taehyung’s dreams in any way he can. For now, he just listens because that’s what he needs.
They finish their food and neither one of them wants to keep being productive, so Taehyung brings out his nail polish instead. He paints their fingernails and toenails, glittery and shiny this time. He has Seokjin do his right hand for him.
Taehyung mentions that his hair’s getting really long and he’s wondering if he should keep letting it grow out or get a haircut. Either way he wants to go to the hair salon to get it permed again or maybe dye it. He asks for Seokjin’s advice. Seokjin says he thinks he’ll look with whatever he decides. Taehyung lets him know he’s of no help.
Their nails dry and they sit together on the chair just talking with each other.
They go inside when Jimin gets home and yells for Taehyung.
“I got it,” Jimin says, shaking with excitement.
“Got what?” Taehyung asks and then his eyes widen. “You got it? You got it! Yes! I knew you would,” he rushes to Jimin and they crash into a hug that makes them almost tumble, but they hold each other up.
“I’m so proud of you. You deserve it, you’re so talented,” Taehyung gushes.
“Thank you,” Jimin squeezes tighter.
Seokjin watches them hug and smiles without knowing what it’s about until Taehyung explains.
“Jimin got a solo performance for the recital. It’s a really big honor. He had to be picked over everyone else in his year.”
“That's amazing,” Seokjin says sincerely. “Congratulations Jimin.”
Jimin beams at him and then just walks ahead to hug him. “I’m so happy, hyung,” he says into his chest.
“I’m so happy for you too,” Seokjin beams.
“We should celebrate,” Taehyung says. “What do you want to do Jimin?”
“Umm,” Jimin looks up at him, still wrapped around him. “What do you think hyung? Are you hungry? We could go for dinner somewhere nice.”
“Whatever you want Jimin.”
“Well, you’re not helpful,” Jimin states.
“Right, that’s what I told him,” Taehyung chimes in next to them. Seokjin just smiles.
They invite the rest of their friends and they go out together. Taehyung wears a fitted black dress that’s made out of thin material that accentuates every curve of his body. It has thin straps and little ruffles at the hem of the dress, the only place where it’s not skintight. Taehyung does his makeup while Seokjin tries not to drool at how beautifully his body fills in the dress. He puts his hands on Taehyung’s waist and kisses him deeply before he puts on his lip gloss.
“How did I get so lucky?” Taehyung asks, his hands on Seokjin’s shoulders.
“Are you reading my mind?”
Taehyung smiles and kisses him again.
They meet up an hour later at a restaurant that Jimin and Taehyung decided on. They sit at a round table and it’s absolute chaos. They’re loud and rowdy and Seokjin briefly wonders if they’re being the annoying table, but Taehyung’s laughing beside him and he takes away all of his attention.
After they get their drinks and appetizers, the waiter comes back to take their orders. While his friends go first, Seokjin realizes that he’s not prepared to talk to anyone else right now. He doesn’t always need help in situations like these, but some days he just wants to relax and not have to practice what he’s going to say or worry about speaking up so he doesn’t have to repeat himself. His friends will see if he messes up and he knows it’s okay, but he just doesn’t want to right now.
He taps Taehyung’s arm and leans in.
“Can you order for me?”
Taehyung smiles at him. “Of course.” He tells him what he wants and when it’s Taehyung’s turn, he says his order and then Seokjin’s. He does it so easily. The waiter compliments his makeup, and they share a small exchange that flows so easily. Seokjin admires his ability to just be so charming without trying.
After she’s gone and they go back to talking, Seokjin grabs Taehyung’s hand and they share a warm look. He likes that he never has to explain himself to Taehyung when he feels like this.
They go bowling after dinner. They split into teams and he’s paired up with Jimin and Taehyung. Seokjin is a decent enough player and after a few balls in the gutter Taehyung improves. Jimin is just hilariously terrible.
They keep taunting and teasing the opposing team members, trying to distract each other. When Jimin goes on, Seokjin and Taehyung cheer him on even as he knocks down only one pin.
When it’s Taehyung’s turn, Seokjin gets too distracted to encourage him. He watches Taehyung stand while he holds the bowling bowl in his hand, concentrating on the pins ahead. Seokjin’s eyes trail down to his waist and to the curve of his ass. He looks so hot. Seokjin wants his beautiful long legs wrapped around his head.
Taehyung’s earrings swing around as jumps with Jimin who stands to cheer when Taehyung knocks down most of the pins and gets the last three on the second roll.
“Oh, it’s on!” Namjoon challenges, standing up proudly and boasting like he’s not just as bad as Jimin.
After Namjoon, Seokjin goes next and then Hoseok. He gets a strike and Yoongi jumps up and they both dance in a way that’s both embarrassing and fantastic. Namjoon stands and wriggles along too with them.
“Suck it!” he taunts and Jimin gives him the stink eye while he gets up to roll another ball into the gutter.
The other team wins, and they all agree to play another round. It’s late by the time they’re heading back home. Taehyung asks Seokjin if he wants to stay at his place and he obviously says yes.
As soon as the door to Taehyung’s room is closed, Seokjin is reaching for Taehyung.
“Come here gorgeous,” Seokjin pulls Taehyung by his hands until he’s pressed against him and kisses him. Taehyung makes a little noise, surprised, but he melts into the kiss. “Hmm, you looked so pretty. Tempting me.”
“Tempting you to what?” Taehyung asks, tilting his head to the side, tantalizing. “What did you want to do to me?”
Seokjin shows him exactly what. He picks him up and pushes him against the wall while he kisses him all over the bare skin of his neck and shoulders and collarbones. Taehyung’s so fucking sexy he has Seokjin getting hard just from the feeling of his thighs in his hands while he holds him up and the sinful sounds he pours into his ear when he fails to be completely quiet.
Taehyung covers his own mouth to avoid being overheard while Seokjin presses open mouthed kisses on his neck, his tongue hot and pressed flat against his skin. Seokjin carries him over to his bed and Taehyung giggles as they drop clumsily, Seokjin over him, attacking his neck as soon as he can.
He keeps his hands around Taehyung’s waist, and he feels when his back arches. Seokjin really takes his time with him. He kisses down his thighs and calves and the arch of his foot and each toe. He hikes his dress up higher and sucks hickeys on his inner thighs. When Taehyung gets impatient, he goes slower, teasing him. Taehyung just whines and his hands move down to card through his hair. He thrusts up but Seokjin holds his hip down and then Taehyung pulls his hair.
Seokjin just slaps his thigh and Taehyung whimpers but relaxes his hand. Seokjin does take mercy on him though and finally starts touching his leaking tip. Seokjin touches himself while he sucks Taehyung off. He licks the underside of the tip and bobs his head all while pleasuring himself too. They’re both too horny now to wait and Taehyung messily spills in his mouth after a few weak thrusts while he grips the bedsheets.
Seokjin finishes in Taehyung’s mouth after Taehyung tells him to. Some cum coats Taehyung’s bottom lip and he licks it off with his eyes dazed. Seokjin just watches in admiration the way Taehyung lays back. His dress and panties pushed aside indecently while he looks absolutely divine. Heavenly.
They sleep late and Seokjin forgets to set his alarm. He arrives to class a few minutes late and takes notes while leaning on his arm. He tries not to yawn and resists laying his head down and closing his eyes.
When he gets out, he buys himself some coffee before going to his next class. His professor is going on about something he’s not fully getting. He just takes down notes but doesn’t pay attention. He’ll look over them later.
While he walks across campus for his tutoring session, he gets a message from Taehyung. He clicks on it and actually stops walking for a moment. Class had just ended so there are people everywhere and he’s sure they don’t appreciate him stopping in the middle of the path so he keeps going even though his legs feel weak.
come to my apartment later on
i want you to fuck me
He thinks that in all the endless sweetness and pureness in Taehyung there’s something evil too. How is he supposed to concentrate on anything now when he just says things like that? He would have liked more than a few hours’ notice.
He gets several more messages while he’s tutoring a group of chemistry students and he doesn’t even glance at his phone. No. No way he’s going to look at those while he’s supposed to be talking about chemical reactions and stoichiometry.
Someone asks him a question and he forgets what awaits him for a while. When he goes into teaching mode, he gets really focused on just explaining the material. He’s found that even though on his first day with a new group of students he feels really shy and he has to force himself to sound put together, he can get the hang of it when he realizes that he’s the expert and he has no reason to be nervous. He’s also good at working with other shy people because he understands them.
He gets through the entire session with only minor moments where his thoughts go back to Taehyung and as soon as he dismisses them, he rushes to check his phone.
He holds in his groan. There are two more pictures now and he’s supposed to go to the study center after this because he’d been asked to come in to help out if he was free and he’d said yes because he wasn’t so good at saying no. Seokjin’s really considering messaging them to say he can’t make it. He’d love to just get home and fuck Taehyung now.
It’s so hard not to. He wonders if this is payback for teasing Taehyung the night before.
He gets another message while he still has their chat open.
im touching myself thinking about you
There’s no one in the room now. Probably no one will get here for another few minutes. He picks up his phone and dials.
“Hyung.”
“Tae, baby,” Seokjin eyes the door to make sure no one is coming in. “Baby you’re driving me crazy.”
“Hyung, hmm,” Taehyung just moans. “I’m fingering myself right now. Imagining it’s your fingers instead.”
Seokjin forgets how to breathe for a moment.
“I’m opening myself up for you.”
Seokjin closes his eyes and bites his lip, drawing in a shaky breath.
“Listen baby, here’s what I want you to do.”
“Mhm, anything,” Taehyung says readily.
“Fuck yourself with your dildo and wait for me. I’ll be there soon.”
He hangs up and texts the person in charge that something came up and he’s sincerely sorry, but he won’t be able to help after all. He checks his phone for a response while he walks back to the dorms. He doesn’t regret what he’s doing, but he’s still a little nervous about what their response might be. He hopes they don’t feel upset. He sighs in relief when he hears back.
Sure no problem. Thanks for letting us know.
He walks to the dorms and freshens up before he walks to the parking lot and gets in his truck. He drives to Taehyung’s apartment and knocks. He waits for a while before Taehyung answers the door.
“Hey.” He smiles innocently at Seokjin. “You got here really fast.”
Seokjin nods absentmindedly and stares at what Taehyung’s wearing. He has a pink silk dress on. It drapes under his collarbones, the fabric folding, a little loose before it tightens on his waist and curves around his hips before it flows down. There’s a little shadow where Taehyung’s tummy and ribs are.
“I tried getting here as fast as I could.”
They stare at each other for a moment and then Seokjin just walks forward and picks Taehyung up when he kisses him. He turns them around and closes the door before pressing Taehyung against it and kissing his neck.
Taehyung wraps his arms around Seokjin, and they make out against the door until Taehyung’s feet are on the ground again and he presses a few more chaste kisses before he turns and pulls Seokjin’s hand. Seokjin follows him to the bedroom and watches Taehyung settle into the middle of the bed and he joins him.
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung says, his hands on his lap and looking down. “I knew you were working, but I just really wanted you here with me.”
“Naughty,” Seokjin murmurs.
Taehyung crawls over to him and slowly climbs on his lap. He brings his face to the crook of Seokjin’s neck.
“No,” Taehyung’s deep voice whispers in his ear. “I’m your good boy.”
“That you are. Perfect for me baby boy.”
Taehyung kisses him hard and wet, sucking on his lip. He unbuttons Seokjin’s shirt and Seokjin finishes taking it off.
Seokjin has one hand on Taehyung’s waist and the other reaches under Taehyung’s dress and he feels around his panties, pushing them aside. His fingers easily slide down to Taehyung’s hole, slick with lube.
“Good boy. Opened yourself up so good for me,” Seokjin praises. Taehyung whines and kisses him desperately.
“Fuck me,” Taehyung breaths against his lips. His hands reach down to unbutton and unzip Seokjin’s jeans. He moves to reach for the lube and condom while Seokjin pulls his pants off.
They hastily get into position. Taehyung strokes Seokjin’s hard dick a few times before he’s guiding it into himself.
He slides down and exhales when he bottoms out. “Fuck, mmh.” His teeth bite down on his lip and his hands rest on Seokjin’s shoulders. He’s still for a moment before he picks himself up a little and then sinks down slowly a few times, finding a slowly and steady rhythm. He rolls his hips and that draws out a pretty little moan, so he keeps doing it.
Taehyung rides him at his own pace. Seokjin just sits back and enjoys how hot he looks. He’s amazed by how Taehyung keeps managing to look more stunning every day.
Seokjin rubs his hands up and down Taehyung’s smooth thighs.
“You’re so soft. And sexy.”
Taehyung moans softly as Seokjin starts moving up to fuck into him.
“Soft and sexy is my thing.”
Seokjin smiles and kisses his cheek. He’s glad Taehyung knows.
They keep going like that until they both need more. Taehyung lays down and brings his legs to Seokjin’s shoulders while they both give into the carnal desire and fuck hard and fast.
Taehyung picks up his dress and touches himself as Seokjin snaps his hips. He brings his hand down to Taehyung’s thighs and ass, spanking him a few times because Taehyung whines and asks for more.
They get sloppy as they get close. Taehyung grabs the bottom of his dress in a fist that he presses to his chest when he comes. He doesn’t get any stains this time.
Seokjin keeps fucking him until he comes next. Taehyung kisses him while he’s still intoxicated with happy hormones. Seokjin cleans up and then they both lay down, spent.
“That was so hot,” Taehyung says afterwards once they’ve both calmed down. “When you called me. Your voice sounded so turned on.”
Seokjin faces him and smiles back at the blissful expression on Taehyung’s face.
“We should try that more often,” Taehyung says.
“What? You almost giving me a heart attack in the middle of work?”
“No,” Taehyung giggles. “What you said when you were on the phone with me. When you told me what to do,” Taehyung clarifies.
“Oh.”
“Yea, I really like the thought of that,” Taehyung admits. His voice gets a little softer. “You guiding me.”
“We can try that again then.” Seokjin would be lying if he said he’s only agreeing because Taehyung likes it. He’s getting turned on again just thinking about all the possibilities.
They decide to shower together afterwards. Taehyung slips his dress off and they step inside and under the hot stream. Seokjin can’t stop himself from grabbing Taehyung’s ass and both of them are still too horny. Taehyung leans on the shower wall while Seokjin eats him out.
They wash up after they’re done and then get dressed. Taehyung wears a big oversized dress that makes him look adorable and puts his hair up into a ponytail and fixes the loose strands with sparkly clips before he pulls out his laptop and notes from his backpack.
They both have assignments due and now that they’re sated and together, it doesn’t feel too dreadful to complete them.
They sit on the couch with Taehyung’s feet on Seokjin’s lap. The food they order arrives and they take a break to eat before they continue.
Jimin gets back and eats the leftovers and then him and Taehyung talk for an hour. They laugh loudly and it’s really distracting, but Seokjin doesn’t mind. They start playing music on the television and they get up to dance and it’s silly and fun. Seokjin takes his eyes away from what he’s reading to just watch them. They look so happy and carefree. It makes Seokjin’s heart fill with joy and he thinks that life is good. They talk and laugh and hug and they are there for each other. Taehyung and Jimin stay up with Seokjin while he finishes his paper. They go to bed and wake up to have breakfast together before they go to class.
The week goes by and Seokjin feels so at ease. Each day feels light and happy.
On Saturday he’s alone with Taehyung in his dorm and he’s hugging him from behind.
“Squishy baby,” he says while he pats Taehyung’s tummy. It’s sweet before it turns horny. Seokjin rubs his fingers on Taehyung’s wrist and kisses them softly and Taehyung lets out a pretty hum and then pushes his ass back on Seokjin’s front. While Seokjin kisses behind his ear, Taehyung pulls one of Seokjin’s hands to his mouth and he brings each fingertip to his lips and gently scrapes his teeth on them.
They go to Seokjin’s bed. Taehyung lays on his stomach and Seokjin massages him. He does his back and feet and then his butt. He kisses his shoulder blades, his lower back, the back of his knees, his feet. He thinks the only thing he’d ever worship is Taehyung.
He kisses and licks and sucks Taehyung’s ass before he props him up with a pillow and fucks him like that.
“I feel so full, hyung you make me feel so full.”
His skirt is pushed up and he’s wearing stockings that drove him crazy from the moment he saw them. Taehyung arches his back and holds himself steady so he doesn’t move forward every time Seokjin thrusts.
During Sunday they all go out together. It’s clear to Seokjin by now that everyone who gets close to Taehyung is bound to love him.
All of his friends are completely enamored by the boxy smile and his way of being. Yoongi seems especially fond. He looks at the two of them talking and he’s delighted by how well they seem to be getting along. Taehyung’s immersed while Yoongi explains to him how he makes songs.
Namjoon shows Taehyung a new museum he wants to go to together. It’s a few hours away, but Taehyung says he’d love a road trip. They decide to all leech onto their plans and now they have a vacation planned as soon as school’s over.
Hoseok and Jimin talk about dancing his solo. Hoseok gives Jimin advice and when Jimin asks why he’s not doing it this year, “Everyone knows you’re the best hyung, they would have most definitely given it to you,” Hoseok explains that he was just very busy.
On Monday both of them only have time to see each other for half an hour. There’s a deadline and Taehyung needs to focus.
Tuesday Taehyung tells him he’s so tired from work and too many assignments but he misses Seokjin and wants to see him so Seokjin visits him.
“Is this all for me baby?” Seokjin asks while they lay in bed and he feels Taehyung’s boner pressing against him.
Taehyung nods.
“Yes,” he whimpers like he’s going to cry. He’s so tired. It’s been such a long day and Seokjin knows he just wants release. “I’m all yours.”
Taehyung’s eyes are closed while Seokjin jerks him off. He whines into Seokjin’s chest and Seokjin rubs his back gently.
“Shh, baby. I’m going to take care of you.
Seokjin wipes him clean when Taehyung comes on his belly and then he gives his tummy some kisses and his little belly button a soft little lick and a kiss before tucking him into bed and letting him curl up with him.
Taehyung comes over to his dorm on Wednesday. He mostly just sketches and pastes stickers in his journal while Seokjin reads from his textbook and types out his answers for the assignment.
Yoongi comes out of his room and he talks with Taehyung for a bit. They’re hungry and go to stare at the fridge before deciding what to eat. Yoongi cooks and Taehyung helps. Or he at least tries to. Seokjin turns his assignment in and they eat together.
On Thursday they have sex while spooning. It’s tender and sweet.
It’s good. All of it is so good. Seokjin’s so happy to the point where he starts questioning it. On Friday he sits alone on the couch and just thinks too much. When Hoseok gets home and asks him what’s bothering him, he decides to try to talk through what he’s feeling.
“Hobi, do you ever feel like things are going really well? Like you’re doing well in school and you have time for yourself and your friends and you’re happy because everything is good.” Hoseok smiles at him and nods. “Almost too good?”
Hoseok looks confused for a moment and then he nods more slowly.
Seokjin goes on. “That’s how I’ve been feeling. I’m so happy that I’m questioning if there’s something wrong.”
“Wrong? Wrong with what?” Hoseok’s eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes sympathetic.
“Nothing’s really wrong. Just that life isn’t supposed to be like this. Relationships aren’t,” he stops. “I don’t really know what I’m saying. I’ve never been in a real relationship before. I’ve never, I’ve never loved someone like I love Taehyung.” It feels different saying that out loud.
Hoseok’s expression softens. “What do you think life is supposed to be like?”
Seokjin sighs. “I’m not sure. Not this good for sure. It’s supposed to suck.”
Hoseok smiles a little at him and then leans in closer. “Hyung, life’s too unexpected to question the good times. You’re right, it can suck. But you need these good times so that when it feels bleak you have good memories to look back on.”
Seokjin knows he’s right, but he still thinks it’s too good to be true.
“You deserve this hyung. You worry too much sometimes.”
“I know, but I can’t help it,” Seokjin sighs. “When I see other people in relationships, it always seems like eventually something goes wrong. Even if you’re head over heels at the beginning, there comes a point where you start to hate them.” He’s seen human cruelty and the way relationships crumble. He only wants happiness for Taehyung. He doesn’t ever want for their love to turn bitter.
Hoseok frowns. “Well that may be true for some people, but not everyone. Of course, you’ll have some disagreements and there may be a few fights, but it doesn’t have to be like that.”
“The thing is, I can’t even see myself fighting with Taehyung,” Seokjin says. “We get along so well and he’s understanding, and we always communicate how we feel, and it just feels so good and healthy. It’s almost perfect and that scares me.”
Seokjin looks at his hands for a moment before he continues.
“I know we’ve only been dating for four months and it’s too early to think like this. I promise I’m not constantly freaking out over this. I’m being stupid. It’s just one of those days.” Seokjin hates when his brain tries to ruin a good thing for him by considering the worst possibilities.
Hoseok pats his hands in understanding. “It’s okay. You’re not stupid. Falling in love is vulnerable. You start to care so much about another person, and you wish their happiness above anything. You want them by your side forever and having such strong feelings can be overwhelming. That’s,” Hoseok pauses. “That’s how I feel about Namjoon.”
Seokjin’s surprised to actually hear him admit it. He sits up and turns to look at Hoseok now.
“I know how you view love. We’ve had enough talks that I know you don’t play into the fantasy everyone tries to sell us. But you know what you feel. And that is real. I know there’s a lot of shitty people and shitty guys and shitty relationships that have been our first examples of what love was. But we don’t have to follow in anyone’s footsteps.” Hoseok squeezes Seokjin’s hand now and Seokjin squeezes back.
Seokjin thinks about how Taehyung colors his world. He knows that no one’s perfect and that because of that no relationship will ever be perfect. He also knows that when he needs someone to lean on or to cheer him up, he can count on Taehyung. The same way he can count on his friends.
Humans aren’t meant to be solitary animals. They form bonds. They break bonds. They are complicated and messy. They love and they hate, and they love what they hate. They are so flawed but Seokjin still thinks there’s so many more beautiful things.
Love is an emotion that he feels. It comes and goes but there’s some love that’s so deep in his soul that it won’t ever stop being a part of him.
He thinks about the evolution of biological altruism. It turned out that sometimes looking out only for one’s own interest wasn’t always the best strategy for survival. When a group was stronger than an individual, there was a need for collaboration.
The genes that allowed acts of kindness were passed on because individuals who wanted to do everything alone weren’t able to survive. There are different levels in each person, but it’s common that humanity as a species has the ability to be at least a little selfless.
Of course there is the question of whether it can ever be true altruism, at least in the sense of human psychology. Helping to be helped back or because it benefits the individual in some way. Risking one’s own life because of some level of family relation. Preserving lineages. Seokjin knows what he’s studied and learned, but he wonders now how much more there is to it.
“Hyung,” Hoseok gets his attention. “There’s love that can’t be explained. It has no reason, and it doesn’t need one.”
Seokjin thinks he understands. Taehyung has always been easy to love. From when they first met as children to when they started realizing the world wasn’t as fun and bright as they’d thought. From when they learned to have hope to when they were forced to say goodbye. From when they met again and to now.
Taehyung’s optimistic. He’s tough and strong. He dreams about things sometimes Seokjin can’t imagine. He breathes art. He doesn’t hold back his love. Seokjin wants to love him. Whatever it means from any standpoint. Biology, psychology, chemistry, sociology.
How long does it take to love someone? Seokjin has loved him before. He loves him now. He’ll love him forever. He’s in love with who Taehyung is and he doesn’t know if it’s the type of love that could move mountains, but it moves him.
There’s a quietness between him and Hoseok as they both seem to be thinking a lot. He calls out Hoseok’s name and he looks at him expectantly.
“You should ask Namjoon out.”
Hoseok slowly breaks into a grin. “I think I finally will hyung. We’ve been pinning long enough.”
Seokjin has to agree.
There’s a knock on the door and Hoseok gets up and answers it. Taehyung and Jimin walk inside and Seokjin sits up straight.
Taehyung sees him and his face lights up. He heads straight to him.
“Hyung, I got something for you,” Taehyung says excitedly. “Jimin and I went shopping and I saw something I think you’ll really like.” He sits down next to Seokjin and looks through a bag he’s carrying.
Seokjin watches him pull out a button up plaid shirt. It’s got blue and pink lines to add color to the otherwise black and white print.
“It’s thin so it’ll be good even in summer. It feels so fresh. Look, touch it,” Taehyung hands him the shirt and Seokjin takes it.
“It is,” Seokjin agrees. “Thank you, Tae. I really like it.”
“You’re welcome,” Taehyung smiles with crinkles in his eyes and leans in to give Seokjin’s lips a small peck.
Seokjin smiles back at him. He feels it now.
“What else did you get?” he asks. He throws an arm around Taehyung who molds into him right away and starts pulling out skirts and cute tops and dresses.
There are a million thoughts in his mind that are immediately calmed by the sounds of Taehyung’s voice excitedly telling him about his day out and what he got and what he did and everything and anything that comes to his mind.
Taehyung stops his rambling to ask Seokjin if he ate already.
“Jimin and I were thinking we could all go out to dinner. Maybe catch a movie. What do you think?”
“I love you.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen a little and then he smiles. “I love you too silly, but what do you think about our plans?”
“It sounds good. I’d like that.”
“Okay,” Taehyung smiles and then stands. “I’m going to go get dressed. Come by when you’re ready?”
Seokjin nods. “Of course, baby.”
He presses one more kiss before Taehyung goes. He feels warm inside. And it’s a feeling that needs no explanation.