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It had been a couple of months now. Jesse had done their first 3 or so episodes, and was growing as a person, making amends and starting to befriend the others with a lot of help- they even learned everyone’s real names- except for Warrior’s. Warrior had been insistent on not telling Jesse his real name, he felt as if Jesse could remember that, at least, they would get a step closer to regaining their memories. Warrior was the one who had helped them so much with the others and dealing with the trust issues they had gained over the hundreds of years they’ve been in the dungeons. Jesse felt like without him, they probably wouldn’t even have been questioning Lady Luck in the first place.
They wanted to remember him so very badly.
Jesse groaned at themselves in frustration- they probably had the answers somewhere in that noggin. It’s the least they could do for Warrior. They thought hard for a couple of minutes- what exactly stood out to them about Warrior when they first met? Well. He was stupid. A sweetheart, very caring, and… he cried when he had to fight them. When they fought and he came close- his smell. His smell. Jesse teared up at the thought of it, but these were tears with no meaning to them. Jesse cried a lot after they fought too- and had no idea why they were. They felt a tug in their gut.
“I have to go home.” They said aloud to themselves, softly. Home, they thought. Where was their home here again?
They got out of their dressing room and out onto the set- then hesitated at the ‘Minions Only’. No. They needed to do this the right way. They turned around and made it to the point of the Live set that had a ton of doors. Most doors were labeled as doorways to the other sets, and some remained blank. Jesse thought back to what they had said to Warrior when he took them out to apologize.
“I love the mushrooms,” Jesse said happily to themselves. They didn’t forget that at least, and headed through the door labeled for ‘The Jungle’.
Jesse loved the Jungle set. It was their favorite one. It felt like a living fairytale, with huge mushrooms, lush grass, plants, vines, and a general sense of wonder. They must’ve chosen to live here if they loved it so much. They walked around the community neighborhood area- passing Dryad’s tree, seeing Gardener’s small house and garden, and then reached a mildly familiar feeling house. A tall lean man was on the porch watching a small child run around and play. The man perked up at the sight of Jesse- who looked confused as to who he was.
“Jess! It’s you! Bring it in brother! We missed you!!” The man's voice was rough and deep but had a genuine sentiment behind it. Jesse felt hesitant but did indeed come closer.
“I’m sorry but- who are you?” Jesse asked, trying to sound polite. The man gave a hearty laugh at this- and came to the fence gate extending his hand past it. His hand turned into the end of a tentacle. Jesse was disturbed at this but had a realization.
“Kraken!” They said excitedly that they remembered him.
“Elijah,” He corrected, “it’s been a while man!” He happily said, pulling his hand back. “Come on in- Squid really missed you.” Elijah pulled open the gate.
“Squid? You mean-“ Before Jesse could even finish their sentence the child came running and then tackled them to the ground- which as a dice was not very convenient. When they opened their eyes again, a bright pink squid was on them.
“JESS!!! YOU CAME BACK!!!! Aaaaaa I’m so happy you’re back I missed you so much!” Squid said sounding beyond ecstatic. Jesse recognized her immediately and gave her the biggest hug their arms could give.
“Baby squid!!! Hehe!” Jesse laughed happily- they could never forget her. She was like a little sister to them and always spent time with her. Squid got off of them and then pulled them up from the ground. Jesse watched as Squid went back through the fence gate- seeing her turn back into the human child they saw running towards them.
“Oh.. woah…” Jesse said quietly. Elijah gave a chuckle at their astoundment.
“You really have been gone too long. Cmon- it’s safe.” Elijah motioned for Jesse to come in. They narrowed their eyes as they approached the fence gate- sticking a hand past it. To their surprise, it was turned to their human hand. They recoiled, and put their hand close to their face. Jesse then took a moment and rushed past the gate. It worked just like the door leading from the breakroom to the set- but this time it was a gate.
“So,” They heard Elijah close the gate, “What brings you back?” He asked curiously. Jesse blinked- sorta forgetting.
“I… um. Hehe, you’re not gonna believe this but I think I forgot again, hoo…” Their nervous giggles laced their words- they hated forgetting anything now. It was frustrating, to say the least. This got another chuckle out of Elijah.
“Oh, I believe it. You’ve been like that for a long time now. It’s alright though, we don’t mind it. You'll always be welcomed here.” Elijah kindly told them, patting their shoulder. “You can come and sit and talk inside if you want to in the meanwhile.” Jesse felt a genuine smile play onto their face at his kindness. It reminded him a lot of Warrior. Warrior.. wait.
“Thank you but actually I just remembered! I was wondering- do you know where my house is? I forgot where I lived…” Jesse said, feeling bad rejecting his invitation inside.
“Oh of course! We looked after it for you while you were gone- we can take you there!” Elijah said, patting his pockets- presumably looking for keys. A sad realization hit Jesse. They keep hearing these lovely people- friends.. say how long they’ve been gone. They didn’t even know how long it’s been.
“Um… how long have I been gone?” Jesse asked- sadness straining their voice. Elijah paused for a moment and glanced over at Jesse who looked guilty about not even remembering being gone.
“Let’s talk while we walk there. Squiddo,” Elijah squatted down to his daughter, “Why don’t you go inside with your momma okay? I’m sure he wants some company.” He said with a gentle voice. Squid nodded happily and gave him a hug, while he gave her a kiss on the forehead, and she ran off inside the house yelling goodbye to Jesse and her dad as they walked off onto a fenced path.
I didn’t know she had a mom , Jesse thought to themselves, I didn’t even remember you were her dad either . They felt even worse at that thought. Had their memory really gotten this bad? How did they even get this bad in the first place? A certain anxiety filled them at their last question. An all too familiar one. Elijah’s voice quickly interrupted this feeling.
“When you first came here and we became neighbors,” Elijah started, “You were very different.. To say the least. You seemed more lively- human. You sang, you cried, you wrote poetry, you told grand tales of your old life.” He was starting to sound nostalgic and sad.
“I did?..” Jesse asked, turned to him. Jesse still sang sometimes- “I still sing though.” They said trying to make Elijah feel somewhat better.
“You do? That’s nice to hear.” Elijah said with a smile- which quickly faded, “But yes, you did do all those things I said. You were actually home quite often at first. And as the years went on- and the show went on.. You were here less and less. In fact, you had stopped coming back home completely at some point.” His words stung Jesse a little.
“I’m sorry.” Jesse didn’t know what else to say at that point. All they felt was guilt. Similar guilt to the one he felt with Warrior.
“It isn’t your fault. I knew that much.” Elijah said, a contempt behind his voice, “We weren’t always sure what had happened to you. But we knew that the Missus could be…” His words trailed off. Jesse knew exactly what he meant.
“Difficult.” Jesse finished Elijah’s sentence for him. He simply nodded at this and sighed.
“You would come back sometimes- but you were different. Each time not remembering who we were. You still remembered Squid as soon as she showed her other form, no matter what.” Jesse felt good about that at least, they would feel awful forgetting about Squid. That’s not to say they didn’t feel awful about forgetting the rest of her family… Elijah continued, “But ever since you left home we’ve been taking good care of it for you if you ever wished to come back.” He gestured in front of him, and Jesse looked over, realizing their walk was over.
“Is that?...” Jesse’s words trailed off. They stared at their house- a comfy and cozy yet old-style cottage. A blooming flower garden was in the front yard, vines creeping up the fences and the bricks of the home. It felt familiar, as if it was reminding them of somewhere.. some time… long ago.
“Mhm. That’s your house.” Elijah said, sounding happy, “Here, you’ll need this.” He handed Jesse a small key with a jingle bell attached to its jump ring.
“Thank you- so much. For everything. I’m so -“ Jesse’s words were cut off by Elijah raising a hand to quiet them.
“Don’t. Nothing was your fault. I’m glad I could help you, Jess.” Elijah outstretched his arms, waiting for a hug. Jesse said nothing, feeling as if they were on the verge of tears, hugged their old neighbor. Elijah patted them on the back, and let them go. “Next time you need anything our doors always open for you.” He said a soft smile on his face. Jesse nodded and said goodbye- turning back to their old home.
They took a deep breath. Were they ready for this? Probably not. But that’s okay, they’ll be okay. They walked forward, entering their own front yard, wild with flowers. Some of them invoking a tear or two. Jesse wiped their eyes in confusion at this- an over-familiar thing to them nowadays. Reaching the door, they hesitated. They took another deep breath in, and unlocked the door, slowly pushing it open.
The inside looked as if it had been frozen in time. Jesse stepped in- astounded as feelings of familiarity and confusion rushed them all at once. They walked around slowly taking everything in. Their living room was small yet comfortable, a low dark brown table stood in it- a series of cute looking decorations on top of it. A single couch that looked worn and comfortable- having a couple of stuffed animals sitting on it, one of which being a small clown. Jesse smiled at this, they really grew to like clowns in their time here.
Their kitchen was a bit larger than their living room- only because the dining area was melded with it. The fridge was covered in cutesy stickers and magnets, and their oven was adorned with towels and mitts with cute flowery prints. The dining area was small- but candy was displayed on the table. They began to feel comfortable until they realized.. Where was their bed? They looked around and spotted a narrow set of stairs near where they had come in. Taking them up led to a quiet and still bedroom.
Their bedroom… Lantern lights were strung on the walls and ceiling, the walls had posters, pages of writing stuck to them, and even flower and citrus garlands. Their bed looked soft- cluttered with stuffed animals, pillows, and blankets. They had shelves- some had books, and some had toys and other objects they had collected.
A desk and shelf combo were in their room as well. They felt… called to it. Sitting on the chair- they opened its drawer. Fountain pens, pencils, inks, wax, and other stationery were inside. Elijah was right- they did write. They looked at the series of journals and books on the shelf part of the desk. Jesse grabbed one that looked particularly worn and flipped it to see its label.
‘Memoirs’ was written in cursive onto it. They hesitantly opened it up, to check the inside cover and to their surprise- their name was in it. ‘Belonging to Jesse Lachance’ was written there in plain cursive. They read the words over again. Memoirs. Their memoirs. They felt a certain dread and anxiety fill them- and quickly shut the book and pushed it away from them. Their breathing quickened- they were scared. No, they were terrified .
They were scared to read their own memories for.. whatever reason. They already were well aware of how their Lady was.. what else could they be possibly scared of? They were crying now, crying and laughing softly to themselves. Why were they so scared? They shakily got themselves up from the chair and flopped onto their bed- frustrated with themselves and crying. Something was nagging at their gut again. They wanted Warrior here. Here out of all places.
They were not home without him.
He felt like home. He smelled like home.
They were crying more at this realization. That’s probably why they cried after fighting him for the first time. That was why they teared up at the thought of it. He smelled like home . And they were not at home here. They needed to bring Warrior here. They got up and set out to do just that. Rushing out of their own house- not even stopping to lock the door again, they made it to the contestants ‘dorms’ in no time. Thankfully Warrior was in the breakroom, drinking something out of a mug, and had turned at the noise of the breakroom’s door.
“Oh hi, Jesse! I was wondering where you were.” Warrior happily said, taking a quick sip of his drink then standing up to greet Jesse.
“Wa-“ Jesse’s words stopped as they looked up at Warrior, who was now standing in front of them. He smelled faintly like hot chocolate, and of course.. home. They sharply took a breath in, feeling the sting of tears building up in that lump in their throat. “Warrior can we.. go talk somewhere maybe?” They felt as if they couldn’t find the right words, “Er, hehe can I take you somewhere??” A small anxious giggle interrupted their last sentence. Warrior tilted his head slightly like a confused puppy, with a small smile on his face.
“Of course! Let me just finish this.” Warrior took his mug and drank whatever he had left in it, then set it on the breakroom table. “Are you okay though? You seem a bit shaken up..” He said worriedly, now fidgeting with his hands. Jesse simply hated when Warrior asked them that because somehow they would always just wanna sob after being asked that. It was nice having someone that genuinely showed concern and care for them, but they didn’t wanna break down crying before they showed him what was important.
“I-I’ll be fine! Just follow me…” The effort took to say that was a lot given it felt like they were choking on the ball building in their throat. Warrior let out a worried whine of sorts before being led out by Jesse. Warrior had no idea where they were headed but when they reached the Jungle set he was happy to wave to all the familiar faces despite most of them being a bit taken aback by this. None of the contestants- despite having been on the show for a while now- have been to the neighborhoods on set.
They reached Jesse’s house, and Warrior was astounded. This was their old dream home when they knew each other. Jesse was never able to live in it as they worked and lived in the castle, but this was definitely it. He said nothing of this though, knowing full well he would be met with confusion. Within a few feet of the house, Warrior noticed he was no longer a dice, mainly due to the immense height he had when human.
“Woah okay..” Warrior muttered to himself. Jesse had walked ahead, standing idly in his garden of flowers. Warrior came close, admiring the blooms- forget-me-nots, zinnias, roses, hyacinths… they were everywhere. As he came even closer he noticed Jesse wiping their face. “Oh no no, Jesse-“ But before he could finish, their hand raised to stop him.
“I-It’s okay, I’m… I’m f-fine….” Jesse struggled to say, sad small giggles interrupting their words. They made a grabbing motion with that same hand, a sign for Warrior to grab it which he did. They then led him to a small field of grass they had on the other side of his house, small flowers and clovers blooming across it. They sat down, silently, Jesse keeping close to Warrior, slightly leaning on him.
Warrior was concerned, confused, and yet he felt at ease. The breeze was warm and rustled the grass and flowers, and the slight pressure of Jesse leaning into him felt comforting. It reminded him of his life before this whole mess. When he still had his dear friend, the way that they truly were.
“Yknow..,” Jesse began taking a breath, “You know how you said all that junk about remembering me?” Their nose was scrunched up, seemingly frustrated.
“Oh yeah.. do you… remember?” Warrior asked, his voice softened seeing how their face was scrunched.
“No. I want to but I still can’t. But I…” Jesse took another shaky breath in, getting Warriors comforting smell.. It filled them with so many nagging emotions as if there were memories behind them. A tear rolled down their cheek again. “I remember your smell. It’s… comforting. Familiar.” They held their knees closer to them, “Home.” They finished.
Warrior felt sad happiness envelop his chest. He wasn’t really sure what to say but simply put his hand on Jesse’s back, rubbing it gently. “Well, that’s another step forward. Don’t be discouraged. I know you can remember one day.” He said, trying not to sound somber.
“B-but.. I-I want to remember you now…” Jesse said, voice shaky. They turned into Warrior, clinging to him, their face in his chest, and began to sob as Warrior hugged them back, rubbing their back and trying not to cry himself.
“I want to remember so bad…”