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That One Mark Twain Quote About Cats

Chapter 2

Notes:

Ok so this is going to be longer then I though 🤦 but hopefully it will only end up being one or two more chapters, cuz I reeeeally should be working on my siren Jon au.

Either way thank you all for your comments and enjoy!

Chapter Text

Jon stood in front of Georgie’s door Sunday evening, with a box of wine in one hand, the other hand being used to obsessively adjust his sunglasses and bandana. This was a bad idea. He knew this was a bad idea- she could always see right through him. She would know. He just knew it. He couldn’t even drink the damn wine!

 

“Hey Jon! It’s good to see you- come in!”

 

“Ah- um h-hello Georgie.” He said trying to smile and meet her eyes and failing miserably.

 

“Ohh- is that box wine? You gentlemen you- here I’ll trade you.” She said, taking the wine and depositing in his arms a large fluffy cat. Jon purred quietly, as Georgie walked into the kitchen, revelling in the way the Admiral purred right back. He allowed the Admiral to scent mark him, and he very subtly tried to do the same.

 

He must have mistimed it though, as Georgie walked around the corner and laughed.

 

“Sometimes I swear you are part cat yourself with the way you interact with him. Jon gave an awkward laugh that was more of a cough then not. Georgie shook her head fondly. “Alright, come on, sit, I want to hear all about this new job you aren’t qualified for. Nice skirt by the way is it new?”

 

“Ah- y-yes.” He stammered, hoping she didn’t notice the way it moved from his tail flicking anxiously back and forth.

 

“Well it’s cute, green is a good colour on you.”

 

Jon made his way carefully to the couch, the last thing he needed was to trip and have his skirt flip up. He had never told Georgie what he was and by this point it was probably too late for that. He had thought about it, once. Back when they were dating she came very close to being the first person Jon ever told. But years of biting his tongue were hard to break, and in the end he stayed quiet. Sometimes he wondered if that was why they hadn’t worked out. He had read once that human relationships required honesty. Though he had certainly seen plenty of relationships that didn’t seem to follow this standard. He shook his head to clear it- then carefully tugged his scarf back into place when he felt one of his ears threatened to pop back up.

 

It wasn’t exactly comfortable to squish them down like this- and his hearing definitely suffered for it- which was why he didn’t hear Georgie behind him until he felt her hand on his shoulder. This was a problem for two reasons. The first being that in the short amount of time that Jon had regained some of his feline aspects he had realized that feline instincts was amount the traits he had regained. Now they had never fully left him, in that the memory of them was deeply ingrained, but things like startle responses, and reflexes had become decidedly more human after the first Leitner exposure.

 

The problem with this of course was that as a cat, Jon’s startle response had tended towards leaping away from the thing that startled him. Generally by flinging himself a truly shocking height into the air for one so small. So when Georgie put a hand on his shoulder, Jon whipped around, flung the admiral in her direction, and flung himself several feet away. He may have been able to play this off, had a good laugh with Georgie and pretend it never happened, except in the process of flinging himself away, his tail shot out to help him balance, resulting in the bottom of his skirt getting caught and tangled around his ankles, leaving him in a knotted mess on the floor- with enough of the skirt having ridden up to reveal his tail.

 

“Shit Jon are you alright? I didn’t mean to startle you like that.” Georgie began, coming over to help him up. “I- uh, didn’t realize you were a furry Jon.” She said very slowly upon spotting the tail. Jon sputtered. As a cat he had complicated feelings about furries. But they culminated in the fact that he very adamantly was not one. Something that Georgie well knew from their time together. He couldn’t stop his tail from flicking. She didn’t say anything more, and Jon certainly wasn’t going to say anything, so they just stared at each other, until Georgie finally sighed, rolled her eyes, and held out a hand to pull Jon up.

 

“I, uh, suppose you want an explanation then?” Jon said sheepishly, taking her hand- mindful of his claws; and hauling himself to his feet. He pulled the scarf covering his ears off- there wasn’t much point in wearing it, if she had already seen the tail. Georgie reached up to touch one of her own ears in response.

 

“No- not at all I definitely don’t need to know what’s going on.” She said rolling her eyes. “Yeah Jon. I’d like a damn explanation.”

 

“R-right. Uh, right.” He sat down on the couch, Georgie crossed her arms expectantly and leaned against her arm chair. Eyes never leaving Jon. He finally met her eyes, and noted as they widened in surprise at his now slit pupils. “So, um, I’m a cat.” He began. When he didn’t immediately continue Georgie rolled her eyes and sat down.

 

“Go on.” She said, so Jon stumbled his way through the story for the second time in nearly as many days. Georgie looked at a loss for words when he finished.

 

“Do-do you believe me?” Jon finally asked, looking up at her, uncertainty colouring his voice.

 

“I- well it’s hard not to.” Georgie said and sighed. “Oh Jon. You poor thing. I always knew there was something that bothered you back when we were dating, I always felt like you were never quite comfortable in your own skin.” She laughed. “For the longest time I thought you were just trans and not ready to come out. Especially given the way you disregarded stereotypically gendered clothing.” She gave him a fond smile tinted with sadness. “Nothing can ever be straightforward for you can it Jon?”

 

“I-I mean it’s was simple when I was a cat.” He argued. She laughed.

 

“Yeah alright, actually- hang on a second, if you were-“ she caught his slight wince at the past tense and corrected herself, she had always been good at that. “Are a cat, can you actually talk to the Admiral?”

 

“The short answer is yes- but it’s, more complicated then that. Cats mostly communicate through body language- and vocalization is mostly only used by kittens, or as a way of communicating with humans. I have for many years lacked the basic body parts required for some of that communication, so while I can understand the Admiral, I’m stuck essentially using baby talk to communicate back.”

 

“Wait- wait wait, are you telling me your ‘cat impression’ in uni was just, actual cat sounds? I knew it was too good!” Jon scratched at one of his ears.

 

“Ah- yes that- yes.” He shrugged helplessly at her.

 

“So what are you going to do now then?” She asked after a moment.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well if your whole life has been spent looking for a way to become a cat again, and now you’re achieved that as much as you can, where are you going to go from here?” Jon blinked at her.

 

“I- I don’t know. I always, well I always assumed that if I found the book I’d be myself again, and I could just- find a human to take care of me. I never, well I never planned on getting stuck.” Georgie nods in understanding.

 

“Right ok, did you have a human in mind for this plan?” Jon flushed, and looked away. He hadn’t initially had anyone in mind, but as soon as Georgie asked that an image of Martin had popped into his mind unbidden, and Jon was feeling- something about that. He didn’t know what- but it sure was an emotion.

 

“Ah no I- I had been planning to be an outdoor cat?” He tried, Georgie tried not to laugh.

 

“So are you going to keep looking for ways to complete the transformation?” She asked.

 

“I-“ Jon chewed on his lip as he considered this, mindful of the sharper teeth. On the one hand- he was still stuck as a human, forced to work to survive and still struggling with a lot of basic human life skills. On the other hand, for the first time in years he actually felt- comfortable in his own skin. And the ability to read and the use of his thumbs really were nice perks. He had been trying so long to get back what he had lost though, that he didn’t know how to process the idea that he might be ok as is. “I don’t know.” He finally said helplessly. “I-I don’t think there is another way to turn me back, not without some serious consequences. Everything I’ve encountered in my research has led me to believe that they only reliable way to turn me back without all kinds of other consequences was the book. But it’s gone now. I don’t even-“ he shook his head he had no idea how to process these feelings.

 

“Ok, well first question then- do you want to keep looking for a way to turn back?” She asked.

 

“I-“ thoughts of the night before with his assistants popped into his head. “Maybe- maybe not right away?” He offered.

 

“Ok, next question. Do you actually want to be working as an archivist? It is there other work you might enjoy more? Cuz if your going to stay human-ish, it might be a good idea to do something you actually enjoy instead of just a job you work to break your curse or whatever.”

 

“I- you- your right.” He said in surprise. “I don’t actually like my job. I- I’m stressed all the time, and I don’t know what I’m doing. But- but I- well with my physical differences I don’t even know if I can get a different job.”

 

Georgie resisted the urge to tell Jon there were plenty of people who would find his extra fluffy bits deeply enticing, and that he could make a killing selling photos, he wouldn’t appreciate that.

 

“You could record audiobooks?” She offered. “You definitely have the voice for it, plus then you wouldn’t have to work in a place with other people. You could do it from your flat.” Jon nodded in consideration. What he meant to say in response was ‘your right Georgie, maybe I should quite.’ But when he opened his mouth all that came out was a raspy meow. He frowned. And tried again. His frown became panic.

 

“Georgie.” He said, the panic colouring his voice. I- I don’t think I can.

 

“What do you mean Jon?” She asked, her own brows furrowing.

 

“I- I wanted to-“ he hesitated.

 

“...agree with me?” She tried and he nodded frantically.

 

“But I can’t. I can’t even say it. I can’t quit!”

 

“Right. Right ok, don’t panic.” She said trying to keep him calm, she looked around for the admiral- but the fluffy monster was waay ahead of her and was already on his way to Jon. “Do you think the others in the Archives can quit?”

 

“Oh god.” Jon said, his tail was lashing back and forth as much as it could on her couch, and in the back of her mind she made a note to remember to take a lint roller to it- the admiral was fluffy but he had nothing on Jon.

 

“I- I was the one who got them assigned to the Archives. I- I asked for Tim and Sasha’s transfer.”

 

“Ok, but is it just the archives that can’t quit do you think?” Georgie asked.

 

“Yes.” Jon said without hesitation, and then froze. “I- I think. No, no I- I’m sure I know that. How do I know that Georgie? I don’t-“

 

“Jon!” She said trying to get through to him, but it was clear it wasn’t working and she could see his claws digging into the leather of her sofa. She moved to sit beside him, telegraphing her movements so as not to startle him. She very slowly reached out, giving him plenty of time to tell her to go away, and scratched gently behind his ears. He tensed further for a moment, his tail freezing from its lashing. Before he slowly melted into the contact. “There you go Jon. Just relax.”

 

He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a contented mew, and a loud purr. He blinked slowly for a moment , before shaking her hand off his head and batting at it barely avoiding scratching her.

 

“I can’t think when you do that.” He mumbled. He shook his head again stretching and lightly kneading the couch cushion beside him.

 

“Ok.” She said taking her hand back. “Ok.”

 

“Thank you though.” Jon said quietly, and Georgie nodded, moving back to her arm chair and giving Jon his space. The Admiral took up a spot on Jon’s lap and he kneaded absentmindedly at his thigh. Jon purred softly, and Georgie was hit with the deep and painful realization that she had never really gotten the chance to know Jon, the real Jon. They had dated for how long and he had never shared this with her. Oh she knew all about his secret soft side, and favourite foods, the way he would occasionally become absorbed in a project to the point of forgetting to eat/ but she couldn’t help but feel like she had been missing out. She resolved that she would just have to get to know him again. The new information contextualized a lot of things and she may have failed to earn his trust as his girlfriend, but maybe she could have it as his friend.

 

“You should try talking to your coworkers.” She said finally. “I mean- if they already know about the cat situation, they’ll probably believe you, and if it involves them, they should probably know. But if you can’t quit,” she took a deep breath. “I- look Jon, I’m not thrilled that you were just going to turn into a cat and vanish, I hate the idea of you disappearing and never knowing what happened to you. But, but it sounds like it’s been really awful for you being stuck, and- I can’t make any promises but I can reach out to some of my contacts and see if they know of anything that might help you turn all the way back.”

 

“I- you would do that?” His ears perked up and Georgie fought the urge to coo- one does not coo over ex-boyfriends. Even ones that have adorable cat ears.

 

“Yeah of course I would Jon, you make it sound like being human has been miserable for you and- and your my friend. I just want you to be happy.”

 

“Oh.” He squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment. “Thank you.” He said quietly. “But I- I think I need to make sure my coworkers are safe first. I- the institute has always felt off, but this is- I don’t want to abandon them. Not after they refused to abandon me.”

 

The conversation drifted to less serious things after that, mostly because Georgie was well aware that Jon was allergic to emotions and was concerned that he would shutdown completely if she pushed it much further.

 

She was disappointed to learn that Jon was entirely unable to drink the wine he had brought, but as a seasoned cat owner she had a solution.

 

“Jon when you were- physically a cat, did your, look I feel weird saying owner that that seems creepy what did you think of her as?”

 

“Oh.” Jon said surprised. “Um, my mom I suppose. I mean, she bottle fed me, and such.”

 

“Right, well did your mom ever give you catnip?” The blush high on Jon’s cheeks and the twitch of his left ear told her more than enough. “Ok, so since you can’t have wine- do you want some catnip tea? I think I may have a bottle of cat wine somewhere too for the admiral, but it’s salmon flavoured so-“ she watched Jon’s pupils expand. “So I’ll grab that and we can get started- I think wine and manicure time.” Jon’s slow blink in response was all she needed and she scratched gently behind his ears on her way to the kitchen.

 

The night ended up being a lot of fun, and Jon felt more comfortable then he had in a long time. The catnip made him feel full of energy and very sleepy at the same time, and he ended up staying far later then he had intended. Still he couldn’t get the thought out of his mind. What was wrong with the Magnus Institute?

Notes:

Content warnings

Discussion of what could be viewed as suicidal ideation

Discussion of past child abuse

One implied mention of child predators

Slight body horror