Chapter Text
It wasn’t the deep-rooted ache of his body that he noticed first, but the too-tight squeeze of his hand that almost made him want to pull his hand back. But as soon as he heavily blinked his eyes open to his favorite person, that desire dissolved entirely.
“Ei,” Bakugou was on his feet, somehow squeezing his hand tighter, fear and worry thickening his voice, almost like he was afraid this was a dream.
“Kat,” Kirishima murmured, squeezing his hand back. One of Bakugou’s hands released its death grip, moving toward a button on the table, but he stopped before he pressed it, his arm falling to his side. Kirishima looked around slowly, gathering that he was in UA’s hospital wing, as the memories started to slowly piece themselves back together.
“I-” Bakugou started, gritting his teeth before meeting Kirishima’s eyes. “I’m not supposed to be sorry for what happened, because it wasn’t my fault.” Bakugou’s discomfort was easily picked up by Kirishima, and he tried to keep his expression neutral to not scare off Bakugou, hiding his happy surprise that Bakugou wasn’t immediately blaming himself. “So I’m not sorry for that.” Bakugou’s eyes dropped to the floor.
“You’re right, it wasn’t your fault,” Kirishima said simply, not wanting to draw too much attention to Bakugou’s nervousness. Still, he felt wetness gathering in his eyes at how much Bakugou was trying. “I’m proud of you.”
Bakugou’s eyes jumped back up to Kirishima’s in surprise, his cheeks tinged red, before they fell back down to their intertwined hands.
“I’m still sorry for getting you involved in…” Bakugou shrugged, not finishing his sentence. His jaw set in frustration. “It all started with me,” he sighed emptily, and Kirishima frowned as the boy in front of him deflated.
“You didn’t cause any of this,” Kirishima insisted quickly. “It’s not your fault you were kidnapped, or anything else after that. You didn’t do anything wrong, ever. You were just trying to survive.”
Bakugou bit at his lip, and Kirishima knew the boy didn’t believe him.
“Besides,” Kirishima continued, “I chose to get involved. You didn’t make me. I mean, there’s no way I wouldn’t have gotten involved when…” Kirishima trailed off, mentally debating if the truth would even help. He smiled softly at Bakugou and squeezed his hand. “I'll always choose to involve myself when it comes to you. As long as you want me around.”
Kirishima watched Bakugou’s thoughts flying through his head, but he couldn’t tell if they were good or bad.
“Kat,” Kirishima squeezed his hand, trying to bring his attention back. “Talk to me,” he pleaded.
“I-” Bakugou responded immediately, before biting his lip. He curled in on himself. “I hate feeling scared,” he admitted quietly, his shoulders relaxing. “I don’t remember what it’s like to not be scared all the time. I just keep thinking about t he last time I got you hurt, and I didn’t think you were going to make it, and I was so scared. It’s just… exhausting.”
Kirishima was about to point out that it was not Bakugou’s fault he was hurt last time, but Bakugou didn’t pause long enough to let him, like he had punched a hole in a bucket that couldn’t be sealed.
“It’s not even just…what happened today. I know I’m not normal,” Bakugou clenched his hand in Kirishima’s like it physically hurt him to admit. “I’m scared I’ll never be normal. I’m scared I’ll never get better. I don’t want to feel like this forever, but I don’t know how to get better! If I’m always messed up like this then- then you-”
Bakugou dropped Kirishima’s hand, wrapping his arms around himself. Kirishima watched him patiently, frowning, trying to keep a hold of everything he wanted to say to the boy about how he didn’t need to be normal.
“I was wrong,” Bakugou’s eyes filled with tears and regret. “When I told you I stopped liking you. Sadori was-” the tears started to fall from Bakugou’s eyes but he didn’t let go of himself to try and hide them. “ Everything . I know he wasn’t good. He hurt me. But I know he loved me. And it’s just really confusing.” Bakugou admitted. “I still feel like I should belong to him, but I know he’s gone now. He’s not coming back again. But I’m still scared.”
Kirishima’s heart pounded, watching Bakugou truly open up for the first time, and he could only feel grateful. He desperately wanted to reach out to Bakugou, to promise him it would be okay, but he knew Bakugou needed this more. He had barely ever even mentioned Nakatomi/Sadori previously.
“I can’t ignore everything that happened. I don’t think I ever can. But when she told me she was going to- and then I saw you- I was so scared. I was terrified,” Bakugou’s voice dropped to a whisper. “And even when I got to you and you told me- you still-” a painful sob tore its way through Bakugou and he dropped to his knees by Kirishima’s bed. “And I never- I never told you even though you nearly died. That I- you- I-” Bakugou growled in frustration.
“Sadori loved me,” Bakugou insisted. “And I think- I did for him too. I don’t know how to feel about that. The idea of someone loving me again is scary. The idea of loving someone is terrifying. But you…” Bakugou trailed off before finally meeting his eyes. “You’re my favorite person. I want to be around you all the time. I want to hear you talk and laugh and I always want to hug you. There’s been so much badness , but you’re my favorite source of sunshine.”
Kirishima’s eyes widened, trying to grasp what Bakugou needed- what Bakugou wanted from him. Bakugou finally met his eyes again, pulsing with so much emotion, and Kirishima felt himself melting under their intensity. For once, he tried to stop thinking about what he should be doing to help, and just listened.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get better, or if I can do normal things, or if I can ever say that ,” Bakugou said softly. “But I know I want to be with you. Your boyfriend or whatever. If…”
Kirishima’s heart was going to explode at this rate.
Kirishima moved to the side of the cot, holding out his hand to Bakugou. Bakugou blushed but quickly accepted it, allowing himself to be pulled towards the bed until he was awkwardly lying on it. Kirishima opened his arms, and Bakugou only hesitated briefly before gently leaning his head on his shoulder. Kirishima swallowed down a wince at the pain and refused to let it show.
“I want to be with you too, Kat,” Kirishima murmured.
"But I'm fucked up. I'm just broken." Bakugou sobbed into him.
Kirishima held him tight, pressing a soft kiss to his head.
“I love you," Kirishima said honestly. "You do need help, and it might not be easy. But I love you."
Bakugou pulled back with a sniffle to meet Kirishima’s eyes. Bakugou’s were wide with surprise, but they softened into something closer to appreciation before he frowned.
“I don’t know if I can say-” Bakugou started, but Kirishima shushed him.
“You don’t need to,” Kirishima assured him. “Just tell me what’s okay and what isn’t.”
“I-I don’t know,” Bakugou blushed feverishly.
“Is this okay?” Kirishima asked as he ran his fingers through Bakugou’s hair.
“I’m not- “ Bakugou groaned, “Yes. Most things are okay because they’re you . It’s just… the intimate stuff, that…”
“What about kissing?” Kirishima asked as calmly as he could, trying to keep a neutral expression even as his face darkened to match his hair.
“Y-yes,” Bakugou agreed immediately, and while there was still fear and worry clouding Bakugou’s eyes, there was something else that lit up Kirishima’s heart. Hope.
Kirishima slowly closed the distance between them, so Bakugou knew exactly what he was going to do.
“I love you,” he said again, determined to make sure he truly believed it. He was rewarded with a darker blush and a familiar spark in Bakugou’s eyes that had been gone for too long. Kirishima could spend all day studying Bakugou’s intense eyes.
“You’re awake!” Somebody yelped as the two boys immediately jumped apart, blushing. Kirishima looked up as a nurse quickly approached his bedside with a clipboard. “We’ll need to run some more tests. Bakugou, I’ll need you to leave now. All Might is waiting for you.”
“All Might?” Kirishima questioned. “What about Aizawa?”
The boy next to him stiffened before he started crawling out of bed, refusing to meet Kirishima’s eyes.
“Yamada was hurt.” Bakugou paused. “You- you were both brought to the hospital wing here, but Yamada needed to go to a real hospital once the lockdown was let up. I-I think it’s bad. Aizawa went with him. He was upset. But he promised Yamada would be okay.”