Chapter Text
“And I got to drive his car, isn’t that fucking amazing?”
“What I think is incredible is how he got you to show up here.” Natalie laughed, her arm around her girlfriend, who was talking to a racer Jackson didn’t quite recognize.
“Yeah,” Jackson chuckled, “Um listen… I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier. You were right to say that, but it did also hurt me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry too.” Natalie let go of Cruz to embrace Jackson, “I just want what’s best for you, but I shouldn’t force you to do things when you’re not ready.”
Jackson smiled, his chin was on top of her head. “Let’s never fight again. This has been horrible.”
“Ugh, tell me about it.”
Cruz stopped her conversation and turned to them, “You guys only fought for like a few hours.”
Making up with Natalie and driving Lightning's car had cheered up Jackson more than he’d admit, or maybe it was time to start admitting things to himself, he thought.
“I’ll do that another time.” He murmured, hoping no one had heard.
“You should dance with someone.”
Jackson looked up only to see Lightning looking at him. His hair was a bit messy from earlier when Jackson had insisted they drive full speed with the windows down. Lightning still looked…good.
“Not much of a dancer.” That was a lie, Jackson loved dancing.
“I’ve seen you dance before, don't lie to me.”
“You’ve seen me dance?”
“Yeah, I like to stalk you when you’re practicing.”
Jackson couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. He sometimes did overly focus on his dancing and kind of forgot about the outside world, but not seeing Lightning come and watch him? Impossible.
“I saw you dancing to that Doja Cat song.”
“That was like only three days ago.”
Lightning smiled, “I know.”
Jackson chuckled nervously. Had he really been that blind?
“So, back to the question…why not dance with someone?”
“Not exactly anyone to dance with.”
Except you.
Jackson shook his head. What was wrong with him?
“Plenty of girls here.”
Jackson looked at Lightning to see if he heard him correctly. “Lightning I’m gay.”
“Oh.” Lightning looked down, flustered, “Then dance with me.” He stood up and reached out his hand for Jackson to take. He did.
He hadn’t realized it, but it was the first time they had touched each other—Lightning's hand on his. While Jackson's fingers were long and slim, Lightnings were nothing but rosy and gentle. Each touch they made had Jackson aching for more. He hated it. If there was a feeling to describe, it would be whatever Mr. Darcy felt after holding Elizabeth's hand.
“Didn’t know you liked to dance,” Jackson told Lightning, trying to distract himself from his thoughts.
“I might not be as talented as you, but I know how to move my hips once in a while,” Lightning explained, “And will you stop being so scared of me? I’m not going to bite you, Jackson.”
“You seem like you were a biter as a kid.” He argued back.
Lightning had a playful smile on his face. “That’s offensive Storm.”
Jackson leaned closer to him, “But am I wrong, McQueen?”
Before Lightning could pull away, Jackson got even closer and whispered to Lightning, “Who’s scared now?”
To no one’s surprise, Lightning pulled away and tried to act ‘offended’ but it didn’t work due to the fact that he was red in the face and smiling like an idiot. Jackson smiled back, “I’m just teasing you.”
“You’re good at getting people flustered.”
Oh, Jackson thought.
“First time I’ve been told that.”
Lightning led them a bit away from the crowd, they sat on the grass. A tall tree was almost covering them from the setting sun, except for Lightning, who had managed to sit exactly where the light would shine into his eyes. Jackson thought he looked cool like that, his golden hair glistening in the sun and his bright blue eyes. Yeah, cool, he thought.
“I’m ready to talk,” Jackson said, his focus still on Lightning.
“Hm?”
“What you said back at the apartment…” Jackson was starting to get nervous again, maybe he wasn’t ready.
You idiot, you can’t run from it forever, he thought.
“Oh, yeah,” Lightning answered, “Are you sure you’re ready?”
He hesitated for a second, “Yeah,” he said, “Yeah I am.”
“Okay. Well, what you have done has hurt me a lot, Jackson, and I think you understand why. You’ve done some pretty nasty stuff.” Lightning stopped for a moment to think. “I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet entirely, but… I think at some point I will, and I’d like us to be still friends by then.”
Jackson didn’t say anything, he kept thinking about why Lightning would still be nice to him. Some part of him was happy that he was given this choice to open up more and get a second chance, but the other part felt like he would manage to fuck up everything again. Possibly he would. He wasn’t exactly perfect at the whole being positive thing.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Lightning interrupted. “Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe this day has been a bit too much for you.”
Jackson sighed, he felt like he had ruined the night for the both of them. “I’m sorry, I’m going home.”
He left, leaving a confused and worried Lightning behind.
-
At around 3 AM, Jackson woke up to someone knocking on his door. He got up and made his way to the hallway, almost falling over four times, he needed to clean the apartment. When he finally opened it, a very cheerful Lightning was staring at him.
“Hello?” But before Jackson could say anything else, Lighting pushed into the apartment and put his arms around Jackson. Jackson froze.
“Um, I didn’t know we did hugs,” Jackson said awkwardly. Was Lightning drunk?
“I know what you’re thinking, I’m not drunk.” Lightning laughed, and Jackson could feel his breath on his neck. The world was playing a cruel joke on him.
‘‘Is there a reason you’re bothering me this late?’’ Jackson pulled back, his hands still on Lightning's arms.
‘‘You looked so sad earlier, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Are you okay?’’
You could tell him, he thought, the best-case scenario is that he will be too drunk to remember…. Or what if he will remember? Too big of a risk?
‘‘I’m fine, I was just tired.’’
Lightning looked unconvinced but didn’t push it, instead, he smiled, ‘‘Can I crash here?’’
‘‘Uh yeah, okay, you can take the bed.’’ Jackson turned around to show Lightning where his room was. He was stopped by the other man clinging to him.
‘‘I don’t want you sleeping on the couch,’’ Lightning said, ‘‘Why can’t we just share the bed.”
Something in Jackson snapped, ‘‘Are you playing a cruel joke on me?’’
‘‘What?’’
‘‘Is this a joke to you?’’ Jackson shoved Lighting off of him, ‘‘You keep doing these nice things and acting like everything is fine and like we’ve been friends forever, why are you doing that? Why don’t you hate me?’’
It seemed as if all the alcohol in Lightning's body disappeared, he looked broken, and sad, as if he was pitying Jackson. You don’t feel pity for someone like Jackson.
‘‘Don’t look at me like that.’’
‘‘Like what?’’
‘‘Like you feel bad for me,’’ He almost yelled, ‘‘Don’t give me that pitying look.’’
‘‘But I do feel bad for you, Jackson, I do. You act as if you don’t deserve anything good that happens to you, and don’t even try to argue with me because you know I’m right. I care about you. You need to start caring about yourself too.”
“Whatever,” Jackson muttered.
Neither of them said anything.
After a while, Jackson asked, “How did you even get here?”
“Oh,” Lightning smiled, “Tim dropped me off.”
“Tim?” Now it was Jackson's turn to smile, “You’re not serious?”
Lightning frowned a bit, not understanding the problem. “What? You don’t like him either?”
“We have some history.”
Lightning gave him a look, “Like what? You dated him?”
“You sound jealous,” Jackson beamed, “Are you jealous?”
“Oh, you look much happier now. Do you want me to be jealous?”
Jackson didn’t smile at that. “You’re very funny aren’t you.”
Lightning sat down on the couch. “Yeah, I’d like to think so.” He closed his eyes. “I’m very funny.” He said sleepily.
“You’re drunk off your ass.” Jackson sat down next to him. He carefully leaned his head on Lightning’s shoulder. “Are you tired?”
“A little,” He yawned. “Let’s just take a small nap.”
-
The first thing Jackson heard when he woke up was someone throwing up, the second was Lightning groaning.
He picked up his phone to see it was only 7 in the morning. Jackson got up slowly, yelling, “Are you okay?”
Lightning didn’t answer.
“Do you need help?” Jackson stood in place still waiting for some kind of sign.
Finally, came a voice, “I could use some clothes.”
“I’m never drinking again.” Lightning announced coming out of the bathroom after his shower.
Jackson looked up from his phone to see Lightning wearing his pajama pants, with no shirt. He wanted to die. “Right.” Jackson finally answered, trying to look away. Lightning however sat right next to him on the couch.
“Right…so what are the plans for today?”
Jackson finally turned to look at Lightning. “You getting out of my apartment maybe?”
Lightning gives him a small push, “Dumbass,” he mutters.