Chapter Text
People are weird. From the Pre-Quirk era to modern times, that bit of trivia had changed little.
It was also something Izuku had become well acquainted with, even more so after opening his shop. His mom was aware too, namely from seeing his expression whenever he was done with a delivery. "Another odd one?"
He let out a bemused chuckle. "You might say that, Mom. Would you believe me if I said close to half a dozen pro heroes live in the Manda Heights apartment complex?"
"Manda? Isn't that where the last order came from? But you've delivered there more than once."
"Yeah, but I didn't know the heroes I ran into actually lived there. I mean, I knew about Sirius and Bubble Girl. The others, however..."
Inko just shook her head. Even she knew that most heroes had their own eccentricates, so deliveries were going to be interesting events, but she had a feeling asking him about it was going to be an experience. "Dare I ask what happened?"
"Well..." He looked over at where Eri was snoozing at the table...and swore he could *hear* his mom's eye brow raise up when he did.
"Again?"
"Hey, I don't ask, I just make the deliveries."
"Coming!" Came the response after he knocked. Quickly floating the delivery boxes in front of him to make sure he had the right one on hand, Izuku watched the door open and Kaoruko Awata, better known as Bubble Girl , came into view.
"Hey, Midori." She said, smiling cutely. He'd been there enough to know she never bothered to get dressed on her days off unless it was to go somewhere.
"Morning, 'Ruko." He looked up at her and grinned. " Nice shorts, they show your legs off."
"Oh?" She bit her lip, leaning on the door frame. "Maybe you'd like a closer look, then."
He simply grinned. "As nice as they might feel wrapped around me, I'll have to take a rain check for now. Still got deliveries."
Her cheeks turned a deep purple. "I-y-you..wha...me-YEEP!" She let out a loud bashful squeak when the image set in.
"Later, Squeaks" He said, heading to his next stop and leaving a blushing sidekick with her order.
"I swear, you're going to be the death of that poor girl, Izuku." Inko sighed.
Izuku shrugged. "If she was my only delivery, I may have taken her up on the offer. Then I had to deal with you-know-who."
Izuku fought the urge to roll his eyes when Mt.Lady came to the door with her mask on, and ridiculously skimpy lingerie. 'She can't possibly think this is sexy...can she?' He quickly hid his grimace.
"Oh, Greenie, what a surprise! I haven't had time to change."
'Reeeeaaaaalllee-hee-hee...' "Right, your ord-" He had to pause when she pretended to stretch, shoving her breasts into his face.
"Did they at least bounce a little?" Inko asked.
"No, not really."
"Ha; faaaakee!"
"On the plus side, she picked out a nice color at least. Really liked that shade of red."
"Riiight...that'll be seven hundred and fifty yen, plesse."
"O-oh...I'm afraid I don't really have any on me.." She made a show of patting her breasts, hips, and butt. "Maybe I can pay...with something else."
"Like I told Miss Tatsuma, we're cash only."
He shook his head. "Dunno if she'll ever learn."
"Hold up...'Miss Tatsuma'...who's that?"
"Oh, found out Ryukyu lives there too. Nice lady, seemed a little on the shy side."
"Ye-" She started...but froze, eye widening and cheeks turning bright pink. "Y-y-y...I-" She stammered.
"Ryuko Tatsuma? Got your order, a large vanilla mocha, and two chocolate orange muffins. That comes out to.."
"...have your baby..."
"Sorry, we're strictly cash only." He gave her a brief, but very appreciative look up and down. "A very tempting offer, though, if I do say so myself."
She stood there briefly, then let out a shocked squawk. "...didIreallysaythatIcantbeliveIjustsaidthat...!!"
"...why does this feel strangely familiar?" Izuku asked himself, watching her curl up into a flurry of frantic muttering.
"Why didn't you take her up on that!?" Inko demanded.
"Mom! I literally just met her!" Izuku protested
"But...but...grandbabies!"
Izuku...and a pretend asleep Eri...facepalmed.