Chapter Text
Part of Skyfire was grateful for the silence, and another part of him couldn’t stand it.
Like-- yes, that was a whole thing that just happened back there, and the lack of conversation was a nice reprieve from all of Thundercracker’s shouting. On the other hand, there had been a lot of things said that they probably needed to address.
It wasn’t that Skyfire thought Starscream had bad intentions. If he was being honest, he didn’t know enough about the mech to judge his intentions at all. For as much as Starscream loved talking about himself, he also managed to say remarkably little when it came to his feelings, or motives, or any of that personal stuff he seemed to regard with mild distaste. A few thrown insults from a Seeker he barely knew weren’t enough to convince him that their whole relationship had just been Starscream stringing him along, or that he wanted something, and that was the only reason he gave Skyfire the time of day.
He wasn’t that fickle.
He was, however, kind of worried that Starscream thought he was. He’d declined Skyfire’s offer to carry him back to his apartment, instead opting to fly on his own. His field was pulled in tight, and in his alt-mode, Skyfire didn’t even have his expression to be able to gauge his feelings by. Given how closed off he was acting, though, said feelings were probably not all that good.
For what was not the first time, he was kind of glad Wheeljack had moved out and left the apartment to him. It would be very awkward if they had to share pleasantries while also navigating what the hell had just happened.
Starscream landed on the balcony before him, waiting by the door for him to unlock it and let the Seeker enter. The tense atmosphere had eased up a little on the flight here, but as soon as Skyfire closed the door and they were left standing in silence, Starscream’s back to him, it returned in full force.
“Starscream,” he said. The Seeker winced, but still didn’t look at him. “Starscream.”
“What?” Starscream snapped, wings held taut as he whipped around to face Skyfire. His teeth were bared, and every bit of his posture just screamed ‘defensive.’ “What do you want from me? If you’re going to break things off, just do it and stop stalling!”
Oh, dear. “I’m not stalling anything,” Skyfire said, keeping his voice soft and making sure to project his movements as he stepped forward and knelt in front of Starscream, “and I’m not going to break anything off. I’m not going to do anything until we sit down and talk about all of this. Talk about us, and what that means, both now and in the future.” Starscream didn’t talk much about his previous relationships, and Skyfire was left wondering just how complicated they might have been, given the Seeker’s position.
Starscream looked rather skeptical. Skyfire sighed, getting back to his pedes before gently taking hold of Starscream’s servos and leading him over to the sofa. He sat down, then gestured for Starscream to sit next to him. Then, once he did, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close against his side. Starscream wordlessly adjusted their position just enough that he could mash his face against Skyfire’s side.
At least he didn’t feel like he had to worry about scaring the Seeker off. Not when he was all but clinging to Skyfire like that.
“Starscream,” Skyfire began, ignoring the way he flinched at the sound of his name, “why did Thundercracker accuse you of having some ill intent, back at the park?”
It took a couple moments for Starscream to respond, like he kind of wanted to just ignore what Skyfire had said, but eventually he spoke; “Because most of the time, whenever I would do something like this, I did.”
“Something like this, meaning…?”
He gestured vaguely. “Dates,” he said. “Talking. Courting. Whatever you want to call it. If I didn’t go into it planning to get something out of it, that quickly became my primary motivation. I wasn’t afraid to lie, or manipulate whoever it was if I had to. Flirt and banter until I got what I wanted, then just… never talk to them again. Ghost them. And, more often than not, Thundercracker would be the one to have to explain that it wasn’t them, really, I was just so busy with my duties that I didn’t have time for interpersonal relations.” He traced absent-minded patterns over Skyfire’s canopy. “It was all nonsense, of course.”
Skyfire was almost afraid to ask, but he also knew he definitely needed to for them to actually get anywhere. “Was that your intention with me? When we first met, back at that party? Did you only start talking to me because there was something you wanted?”
It was hard not feeling a little twinge in his tanks at the guilty look on Starscream’s face.
“At first,” the Seeker admitted. “Well-- at first I thought you were someone who had just snuck in, but once I realized it wasn’t like that and you had no idea who I was, I… well. It was novel. But then we got to talking and I got to know you, and you just cared so much about your work, and you were kind even though you had no reason to be, and--” He pulled away enough that he could get up on his knees, brace his servos on Skyfire’s chest. “It stopped being a ploy very quickly. I need you to understand that. Before the end of that first conversation, I was serious about everything.”
His voice was on the verge of being panicked. Like he was worried Skyfire might pull a runner if he didn’t get his thoughts out there quick enough. Despite the fact that they were in his apartment.
Skyfire cut off the rest of Starscream’s nervous tirade by reaching up and gently cupping one servo around his helm. “It’s alright,” he said. “I believe you.”
The relief in Starscream’s field at his words was palpable, and he all but collapsed back into his spot against Skyfire’s side. “It was refreshing,” he mumbled, “not being recognized. Everyone acts differently around me because of my position, but you were just so genuine… It was nice. Until Thundercracker had to show up and ruin it. Just like he ruins everything.”
He rubbed Starscream’s shoulder in an attempt at a comforting gesture. “What’s his job, anyway?”
“He’s one of my ‘advisors,’” Starscream said, gesturing with air quotes. “He’s around to help me with scheduling, learn who people are and whether or not they’re important so I know how much I have to pretend to like them. He cleans up a lot of the messes that I… inadvertently create thanks to my brazen personality. Lack of tact. Whatever you want to call it. And, I am grateful for his presence, I just wish he’d get it through his thick helm that my personal and work lives should remain separate, and that he does not need to interfere with the former.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
Starscream’s pout told him very clearly that no, in fact, he had not.
“I think you should,” he continued. “Go home and sit down with him and actually talk about all of this. Set some boundaries, y’know? Just because he’s had to handle some stuff of yours in the past doesn’t give him permission to interfere if you haven’t outright asked him to.”
“Maybe.”
Well, it wasn’t a no. Skyfire would count it as a win.
“But I still don’t want to go home just yet.”
“That’s fine,” Skyfire said, wrapping his arms around Starscream and pulling him a bit closer. The Seeker cuddled up against his chest, and he had to put in significant effort to keep his spark calm and his fans from clicking on. (Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. He just wasn’t used to this kind of proximity.) “There was something else I wanted to talk to you about anyway. If you don’t mind. It’s nothing bad,” he added as an afterthought.
“...Alright.”
“So, you said that your intentions weren’t malign, in regards to us, and I believe you,” he said, before Starscream could jump to any conclusions, “but since that’s the case, I have to ask what your intentions really are? What is it you want out of this?” He gestured between the two of them. “Like-- if it’s just a quick thing, or something casual, or if you want something more
serious
. I’d like to know now before we get much further into it.”
He’d be okay with either. Really. Even if he was helm-over-pedes in love, he’d be okay with whatever Starscream wanted.
Starscream, who actually looked a bit stricken at his question. “I thought I’d… been clear enough. I-- I thought--” He shook his head, as though he were trying to clear his thoughts. “I made that offer, back on the balcony, for us to… travel together. I was serious about it. And I’m serious about… this. Us. If… that’s what you want.”
It was odd, seeing him so unsure, compared to his usual confidence.
Skyfire cupped his cheek the best he could, considering his servo was nearly the size of Starscream’s helm. “I love you,” he said, and the Seeker’s optics went wide, “and if you want us to be something serious, I’m happy to give it a try.”
Gaze searching as though he was trying to find some hint of insincerity in Skyfire’s words, Starscream stared at him for several silent moments. When he apparently found nothing, he grabbed onto Skyfire’s shoulders and hauled himself up so he could slot his lips against the shuttle’s. Decidedly caught off guard but also definitely okay with the whole situation, Skyfire got his bearings and returned the kiss, curling his servo around the back of Starscream’s helm. After like a solid half a minute of just that, Starscream leant back, faceplates flushed pink.
“I don’t have a whole lot of experience with serious, mutual relationships like these,” Starscream said, a slight overlay of static to his voice, “so you’ll have to be a little patient with me.”
“Don’t worry too much,” Skyfire said with a smile, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the Seeker’s cheek. “I don’t have much experience either, but from what little I do know, you’re doing just fine so far.”
Starscream’s engine let out a rumbling purr, and he leaned forward to tuck his helm against Skyfire’s shoulder.
“So,” he said, “too early to talk about conjunxing?”
“Um.” Skyfire was positive his own face was even more flushed than Starscream’s. There was that confidence. “A little bit, yeah. Usually there’s, um, at least a year of dating before that conversation comes up.”
Starscream muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “shame.”
Probably best if he didn’t read into it too much.
“So now that we’ve talked about that, do you want me to leave?” There was an inflection to Starscream’s voice that implied he really hoped the answer wasn’t ‘yes.’ While Skyfire probably should’ve encouraged him to go home, talk to his friend, and get all that out of the way, he also kinda… didn’t want to. For as much as Starscream definitely needed to talk to Thundercracker, he was a very nice weight where he was sat on Skyfire’s lap, and he wasn’t exactly itching to give that contact up so soon.
“Well,” he said, “you don’t have to. If you want to stay. It gets awfully lonely here sometimes, I wouldn’t mind the company.”
Starscream grinned crookedly, moving his servos down to thread sharp digits into the vents on Skyfire’s chest, and the shuttle found himself wondering if maybe he should’ve thought this whole thing through. Just a little bit more than he did.
And then Starscream leaned up and kissed him again, and he decided everything was totally fine just the way it was, actually.