Chapter Text
Kookie has never had a room of his own before but he really likes it.
There’s a big bed and it’s soft and smells like flowers. Sometimes Cooky gets lost in the sheets but his hyungies always help Kookie find his friend again.
Jiminie-hyungie put stars on the ceiling and they glow like real stars when it’s dark and the monsters are scared of the glowing stars but Kookie isn’t. The monsters are also scared of Yoobie-hyungie so he always keeps Kookie’s bedroom door open just in case the monsters cause any trouble. Then Yoobie-hyungie will come and sort them out.
The monsters come a lot, you see. And Kookie’s not scared because he’s not a baby. He’s a big boy and big boys don’t get scared. But the monsters eat big boys and rabbits and go rawr when his hyungies aren’t around. And even though he likes his room with his big comfy bed that smells like flowers, it’s hard to get a good sleep when monsters are going rawr .
There’s one place in the whole entire world that the monsters can never get him, though. But he doesn’t want to be a bother. Hyungie’s say they care about him very much and that means he is never a bother.
But still Kookie worries .
Adults say things they don’t mean sometimes. Jung- seonsaengnim says that’s called a white lie and it protects people and isn’t supposed to hurt. Kookie thinks they hurt though. Any kind of lying hurts. He doesn’t like lying, lying is very bad.
The monsters like lying. They know all the lies and they always tell Kookie them over and over again until his head and his heart hurt. He doesn’t want to remember the lies.
“We not listen,” Kookie whispers to Cooky, covering his bunny friend’s ears before hiding his head under the pillow. “If we not listen it not hurt.”
Cooky agrees with him. Jung-seonsaengnim says words can never hurt you so Kookie just doesn’t listen to the monsters. They’re just monsters, they’re not real. They moved away, they left, they--
“Kookie,” whispers Jiminie-hyungie through the dark. Kookie likes Jimini-hyungie’s voice the best in the world. It always sounds like he’s singing and makes Kookie feel all gooey and happy. “Everything okay? You should be asleep, baby.”
But there are still monsters and the monsters are only a little bit scared of Jiminie-hyungie because they’ve never really met before. Yoobie-hyungie is the one that always sorts them out, he always scares them away because Yoobie-hyungie is a monster hunter and he knows what to do to get them to stop.
“Kookie not scared,” he tells Jiminie-hyungie because he needs to know that Kookie is a big boy. “Where’s Yoobie-hyungie?”
Kookie thinks that maybe Yoobie-hyungie is magic because he appears out of thin air whenever Kookie needs him. Like the fairy godmother who turned Cinderella into the pumpkin so she could go to the party!
Oh no, wait. Kookie is confused again. He gets confused sometimes because he’s still a growing boy and growing boys get confused. That’s what Jung-seonsaengnim says.
But anyway. Cinderella didn’t turn into a pumpkin. The pumpkin is the carriage and Cinderella has a pretty dress and they live happily ever after!
Kookie likes the stories where they live happily ever after.
Someone sits on the edge of Kookie’s nice bed. “Are the monsters here again?” asks Yoobie-hyungie, and Kookie lets out a long sigh, happy that it’s not a monster on the bed.
Now that his Yoobie-hyungie is here, Kookie can come out from under the pillow. “They come back,” Kookie explains, crawling out from his covers and climbing into Yoobie-hyungie’s lap. “They say things,” he whispers, just loud enough for Yoobie-hyungie to hear. He doesn’t want the monsters to hear him being a tattle tale.
Yoobie-hyungie gives him a big hug and Kookie feels warm. “What did they say?” he whispers back to Kookie.
Kookie thinks for a minute. He listens carefully for the monsters because he knows they’re still here, somewhere . “Jiminie-hyungie, light please?” he asks.
“Of course, baby,” Jiminie-hyungie says. The light hurts Kookie’s eyes, but just a little bit. “Do you feel better talking about what the monsters said when it’s brighter?”
Kookie hums. He thinks. “I don’t like talking about the monsters.”
Oh no. Jiminie-hyungie looks sad. He doesn’t want Jiminie-hyung to look sad. What if he doesn’t want Kookie to be here anymore because he’s always making everyone sad. What if he has to go back to the cold school that isn’t a home but children live there? What if--
“Hey now, hey,” Yoobie-hyungie says and his hug is very tight. “Let’s take a deep breath together, okay?”
Kookie nods, his chest hurts. But he puts his hand against Yoobie-hyungie’s chest to feel the way it gets bigger and smaller. Kookie copies it with his own chest, but Yoobie-hyungie has very big breaths and Kookie is a little bit smaller than Yoobie-hyungie, so his breaths aren’t as big. But one day they’ll be even bigger than both his hyungie’s.
“Better?” Jiminie-hyungie asks, his fingers are tickly up and down Kookie’s back and it makes him want to giggle.
He nods. “Better,” he says, reaching out grabby hands for Jiminie-hyung. He always gives the best hugs. “Jiminie-hyungie no sad, right?”
Kookie is moved from Yoobie-hyungie’s lap and up into Jiminie-hyungie’s arms. “Why would I be sad?” asks Jiminie-hyung.
“Because, because,” begins Kookie, placing a hand on Jiminie-hyungie’s cheek so that he can be extra specially sure Jiminie-hyungie isn’t sad. He’s good at playing pretend, Kookie has to be careful. “I make hyungie sad?”
“Silly billy,” says Jiminie-hyungie. “You never make me sad.”
“Really really?” Kookie checks because adults sometimes tell a white lie.
Jiminie-hyungie is nodding very very hard. “Promise,” he says and he links pinkies with Kookie as proof. You can never break a pinkie promise.
Kookie didn’t know he was holding his breath but he lets it escape through his lips and he smiles. “No sad Jiminie-hyungie.”
“Would it be better if we all crawl into the big bed and you can tell us what the monsters said in there?” Yoobie-hyungie asks. “Remember? That’s the one place in the whole entire world that the monsters can never get you.”
Kookie pouts. He’s worried. “I not a bother?”
“Never a bother,” Jiminie-hyungie says, because that’s what he always says so it can’t be a white lie right? You only say the white lie once, right?
“Never ever,” adds Yoobie-hyungie and he jumps to his feet and smacks a loud wet kiss right on Kookie’s cheek. It’s all slobbery and gross and it’s tickly and makes him giggle. So Yoobie-hyungie kisses him again on his other cheek and this time it’s even more tickly and slobbery and Kookie has to squeal in laughter to get his Yoobie-hyungie to stop.
He likes when he gets kisses but not the gross tickly kisses .
Those are for babies.
“Come on then, let’s get away from these monsters,” Jiminie-hyungie says. He carries Kookie to the room with the big bed and Kookie doesn’t hear a single monster on the way there. His hyungie’s really are the best.
“Bye bye monsters!” he giggles, triumphant.
Jiminie-hyungie smells like flowers, too. Even after the bath he smells like flowers. He always smells nice, so Kookie really likes Jiminie-hyungie’s smell the best. It’s comforting! He thinks he might have smelt a comforting smell before, but it was a long long time ago so maybe he forgot it.
The big bed is white and fluffy like a cloud and Jimine-hyungie likes to throw Kookie onto it so he can bounce on it like a trampoline. He likes bouncing on the big bed. It makes him giggle and when he’s giggling his head is only filled with happy things.
Yoobie-hyungie is giggling too. He turns on the small light on the bedside table and then crawls onto the bed. “Quick, last one under the covers is a rotten egg!”
“Hey, not fair, I’m not in my PJs yet!” Jiminie-hyungie whines.
“Too bad,” Yoobie-hyungie replies, pulling Kookie under the covers with him and cuddling him up close to his chest. Kookie feels extra specially warm when he’s getting Yoobie-hyungie cuddles in the big bed. “Jiminie-hyungie is a rotten egg.”
Kookie laughs, clapping his hands. “Rotten egg!” he calls, and Jiminie-hyungie sticks out his tongue at him and that makes Kookie laugh even more.
“Will you still love me if I’m a rotten egg?” he asks as he puts on his PJs.
“Of course!” cries Kookie and Yoobie-hyungie together, and it makes Jiminie-hyungie smile that big bright smile that makes his eyes smile too. Kookie likes it when Jiminie-hyungie smiles at him like that, it makes him feel like he’s done something good. “Then I don’t mind being a rotten egg,” he nods.
Then he turns the light off and crawls under the covers on the other side of Kookie. Now there are definitely no monsters because Kookie has his hyungie’s protecting him on both sides. It’s warm and safe and the best place in the whole world.
He sighs, he thinks he could be sleepy now.
“Do you feel okay to tell us about the monsters?” Yoobie-hyungie asks with a kiss to Kookie’s temple. It’s a nice kiss, a soft kiss, Kookie likes getting kisses.
Kookie nods, wriggling to get just a little more comfortable in his hyungie’s arms. “I tell you.”
“What did they say?” Jiminie-hyungie asks.
“They say lots of things.”
“Like what?” Jiminie-hyungie asks again.
Kookie doesn’t know where to start because it is lots of things and they’re all mean and they make him sad and he doesn’t like to think about them. “They sound like Byungwoo-ssi.”
That’s the man Kookie lived with before he lived with his hyungies. Kookie doesn’t like him. He hides in the cupboard when Byungwoo-ssi comes home. His voice is loud and lazy and sometimes he walks in a funny way. All crissy crossy just like when Kookie tries to walk after playing dizzy dinosaurs.
“Sometimes Ahnjung-ssi too,” he explains. But Ahnjung-ssi doesn’t talk to Kookie so the monsters don’t sound like her much. Kookie mustn’t talk to her because she doesn’t want to be bothered. Sometimes she forgets about Kookie and he doesn’t get dinner, but if he says he’s hungry he also doesn’t get dinner. It’s better not to talk to her.
“They’re gone baby,” Jiminie-hyungie says. “They won’t ever be coming back.”
That’s not what the monsters say. And Kookie knows the monsters tell lies, but the adults tell lies too that should be white lies but are proper lies and they hurt and he doesn’t know what to believe...
Yoobie-hyungie kisses his cheek again. “Remember? The policeman came and took them away. He locked them up far far away and they can never get out, remember?”
He does remember the policeman, he was tall and had hair on top of his lip that’s called a moo-sta-shi-o . And he had a very shiny badge and a funny looking hat that he let Kookie wear. He asked Kookie lots of questions. He doesn’t like remembering the questions. But afterwards the policeman gave him candy and told him he was brave. He liked that part.
“His name was Officer Lee-ssi,” Kookie says, playing with the rings on Jiminie-hyungie’s fingers. He has lots of rings because he’s an idol and it’s fashion Yoobie-hyungie you don’t understand . They’re silver and twinkle like diamonds in the sun and they twirl and twirl around Jiminie-hyungie’s fingers when Kookie plays with them.
“That’s right, my clever boy,” Jiminie-hyungie says. “And Officer Lee-ssi said that Ahnjong-ssi and Byungwoo-ssi will never come and take you away again.”
Kookie is worried .
The monsters say they will. They say that hyungies lie. And not the white lies the bad lies. But his hyungies have never told Kookie a white lie before; they're good people, they don’t lie. So it must be the monsters who lie, right?
“Never come back,” Kookie whispers and there are no monsters around to tell him he’s wrong and that makes him happy. He likes being happy. “Hyungies found me.”
“Yes we did,” Yoobie-hyungie hums. “We found you and we’ll never let you go.”
“Okay,” Kookie agrees and his eyes feel all heavy and sleepy. The big bed is so comfy and he’s warm and safe and he just wants to sleep. “You found me, no more adventures.”
“No more adventures,” Yoobie-hyungie agrees.
Jiminie-hyungie nuzzles his forehead against the side of Kookie’s head. “We love you, baby.”
No one ever told Kookie they loved him before he met his hyungies.
He’s not really sure what love is, actually.
Jung- seonsaengnim says that you can’t hold love in your hands and you can’t eat it either. But it’s very important and it’s very special. He says that mummies and daddies love their children and their children love their mummies and daddies.
Kookie doesn’t have a mummy or a daddy, maybe that’s why he doesn’t know what love is.
But if Jiminie-hyung and Yoobie-hyung say they love him does that make them his daddies?
Does he get to have two daddies?
Is he allowed to have two daddies?
Kookie thinks he would very much like to have two daddies.
Maybe one day it’ll be okay for him to have that.
One day when the monsters are gone and he knows what love is better.
But he thinks maybe he knows enough about love that he probably loves his hyungies too. But he’ll have to double check.
“Again,” he asks through a yawn.
Yoobie-hyungie chuckles and gives him one more kiss, right on the tip of his nose. “We love you.”
“Lots and lots,” adds Jiminie-hyungie.
“Okay,” he sighs, and he feels very happy. “Lots and lots.”
Jiminie-hyungie also sighs, it’s soft and Kookie can feel the sigh on his face because Jiminie-hyungie always likes to snuggle close when sleeping. “Come on now, baby,” he whispers. “Bed time.”
Kookie feels even more sleepy. His eyes feel very heavy and Kookie isn’t strong enough to keep them open anymore. But just before he really really falls asleep, he can hear Jiminie-hyungie singing and it makes Kookie so warm and light he could fly away like a balloon.
It’s Kookie’s song. That’s what Jiminie-hyungie says. He sings songs for all his friends all over the world but this song is only for Kookie. And Kookie loves it very very much. It makes him feel safe and it makes him feel happy and it makes him feel special.
“I want you to be your light, baby, you should be your light…” sings Jiminie-hyungie and Kookie has the biggest smile across his face.
If Kookie gets to stay with Jiminie-hyungie and Yoobie-hyungie and Cooky in the big bed where Yoobie-hyungie protects him from the monsters and Jiminie-hyungie sings him special songs and he never has to go on an adventure again, then Kookie thinks that maybe that can be his happily ever after.
Kookie likes the stories where they live happily ever after.