Actions

Work Header

Emails to Enji

Summary:

Before you click off this email and pretend it’s spam, you should recognize me from the address. Let me help you. Nominated for a grammy straight out of high school? Best selling artist of 2023? Music producer extraordinaire? Spiky blond hair? Red eyes? Hope that rings a bell by now.

Also, I’m your son’s boyfriend. 

That’s right. That isn’t a typo, you big dumb flaming hot mess. There isn’t supposed to be a space between “boy” and “friend”. I’m his boyfriend. Boyfriend. I, Katsuki Bakugou, am your son’s boyfriend. Your son Shouto and I? We’re dating. Have been dating for four years by next January. We’re boyfriends.

Years after Enji Todoroki kicked his youngest son out of the house, he receives an email from someone who claims to be his son's boyfriend. What could have easily just been any other spam mail in his inbox will soon turn into the most important one-sided correspondence of his life.

But one thing's for sure: This Bakugou Katsuki guy sure has a vulgar mouth.

Notes:

From August to January, I've been working on this behemoth of a fic. 40k words of a passion project that reflects a lot more of me than I would care to admit. I went into some sort of depression after writing this because it's one of the most important pieces I've ever written, rooted in my own experiences, and something that has kept me sane throughout this crazy pandemic year we've been living. I adore this fic and I am inclined to believe this is my magnum opus. I don't quite care if reception isn't as great as my other fics, what matters more to me is that I was able to get this all out. I was able to write down everything that makes this fic so special to me.

I sincerely hope you can find it as cathartic, heartwarming, emotional, and thought-provoking as I did while writing it.

Enjoy <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

March 23, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: ‘sup bastard

 

Seriously? You still use hotmail? You’re worse than my old man. Well… let’s be honest you’re worse than most dads. 

 

Before you click off this email and pretend it’s spam, you should recognize me from the address. Let me help you. Nominated for a grammy straight out of high school? Best selling artist of 2023? Music producer extraordinaire? Spiky blond hair? Red eyes? Hope that rings a bell by now. 

 

Also, I’m your son’s boyfriend. 

 

That’s right. That isn’t a typo, you big dumb flaming hot mess. There isn’t supposed to be a space between “boy” and “friend”. I’m his boyfriend. Boyfriend. I, Katsuki Bakugou, am your son’s boyfriend. Your son Shouto and I? We’re dating. Have been dating for four years by next January. We’re boyfriends. 

 

(I wanted to make sure you read that right.)

 

Anyway, you must be wondering: Why is this gremlin writing to me? I haven’t spoken to my son in years after he came out. When I kicked him out of the house, I even made his own siblings cut all contact with him. He’s no longer part of the family. 

 

Tell me I got all of that right. I even said it in your voice to make sure it was as accurate as possible. Not gonna lie, I may have puked a bit in my mouth imagining it myself. Because it’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Quite frankly, disgusting is probably too tame a word to use to describe you. Why don’t you pick from the list of words I’ve attached to this email to help me in the future?

 

Anyway, on to business. Why am I writing you an email? Why do I bother to talk to the man who is the sole source of all my boyfriend’s childhood traumas? I’m gonna be honest with you old man, I can be absolutely impulsive. At first, it was just to call you every expletive under the sun. I wanted to tell you how much I hated you. I wanted you to know that you let go of one of the kindest, smartest, most beautiful men on earth. I needed you to see that despite all your fuck-ups, he still writes you a letter every Christmas.

 

Letters he doesn’t send.

 

At first, I didn’t understand it. You’re an abusive man who used Shouto as a means to further your tarnished legacy. I told him time and time again that your looming presence in his life, despite never seeing each other for years, is toxic and doesn’t help him grow. But do you know what he does? He just smiles at me and says even the worst people on earth can be forgiven.

 

Forgiveness. Do you hear that? He forgives you. You. The biggest asshole I know. And he fucking forgives you. 

 

Well, I’m here to let you know that I don’t. Even if I’m trying hard to understand his perspective, I don’t forgive you. I’m not even doing this on his behalf because Shouto doesn’t know I’m writing this. I won’t go as far to say I never will but, for now, I don’t forgive you for what you’ve done to him. I don’t forgive you for throwing him out, spitting on his face, and telling him he doesn’t belong with your fucked up pristine little family. 

 

I believe Shouto deserves more than you.

 

(Do I deserve him? Fuck, if I know.)

 

I ultimately decided I wanted to write this email to show you what you’re missing out on. Just because you’re no longer physically in his life, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know what he’s been doing. Shouto is out there doing amazing things. And I want you to see that he’s doing all that he is more than capable of achieving in spite of you. That he’s thriving even without you in his life. 

 

Especially without you in his life. 

 

Did you know that he’s studying to be a professor? Did you know that he graduated college top of his class? Did you know he’s a poet? Did you know that he’s talking to several publishing houses to get his first anthology printed? Did you know he’s getting a PhD?

 

Did you ever bother to actually get to know your son?

 

(I don’t think it ever crossed your mind. I don’t think that’s fine, either.)

 

Didn’t your eldest son run away? When was the last time you visited Shouto’s mother in the hospital? Does Shouto’s sister still set an extra place on the table for each member of the family whom you’ve chased away?

 

Am I asking too many questions? Am I making you uncomfortable?

 

I sure hope I am.

 

I hope these questions linger in your mind. I hope these questions force you to think about the life you’ve lived so far and the lives you ruined. Shouto may think you’re worthy of forgiveness but I’m not as kind as he is. I want these questions to burn into your nervous system. I want them to echo in your skull— sounding like the voices of the people you’ve pushed away. 

 

I want you to think about them until you start asking your own questions.

 

Until then, I won’t forgive you. 

 

Whatever,

Katsuki

P.S. Don’t reply. I’ll just block you.

 

April 20, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: ‘sup bastard (2)

 

Hey. It’s me again. Missed me?

 

I don’t even know if you read the first email. I thought I couldn’t bring myself to care but it seems I care a little bit because I’m here writing another one. If you didn’t know (and you probably don’t), my birthday is today. 26. Not exactly a special age but Shouto insisted we did something. I let him plan whatever he wants. I assume he hasn’t had that many birthday parties as a kid. 

 

Oh, that’s your fault right?

 

Since, I’m already writing this, I might as well tell you about the first party I threw for Shouto. It was his first birthday a year after we started dating. I took him to a nice restaurant that sold probably the best cold soba in all of Japan. Then, we went ice skating at a privately reserved rink. I sucked at it but damn could Shouto land those jumps. (Another question for you: Did you know that Shouto wanted to be a figure skater once?)

 

At the end of the day, I led him to the rooftop of my apartment where the rest of our friends were waiting to greet him. Shouto cried when he saw them. It took us a while to calm him down, and when he did, he kissed me like there was no tomorrow. Shouto hadn’t told me much about you back then but that kiss helped me figure out a few things.

 

The first one was that this was probably his first birthday party. If not, it was the first one with people he wanted to be there. 

 

The second was that his kisses were the best when he can’t contain his emotions. (TMI? I don’t care.)

 

The third was that, no matter how small the gesture, Shouto’s gratitude is genuine, boundless, and pure. 

 

Whatever love he’s given, he returns tenfold. 

 

I wonder if you ever experienced that. If you ever loved him enough to show him. If you’ve ever witnessed that even the ghost of a smile on your lips would have him giving you a grin that rivaled the brightness of the sun. If any tiny indication that you were proud of him was uttered at Sunday dinners. Has Shouto ever told you he loved you and you felt it in every vein of your body, in every heartbeat, in every breath you took?

 

Sorry for the colorful descriptions. I’m a songwriter who dates a poet. You do the math.

 

(You can answer those questions, by the way.)

 

Ever since then, I threw him a big birthday party every year. Well, big to him meant all 20 of our closest mutual friends. You’d be surprised how many friends we share. That’s actually how we met but I think that’s a story for another time. 

 

I’ve attached a sample of one of Shouto’s poems that he wrote the day after that first birthday party. He mentions you in it. It isn’t explicit. But if you actually read it, you will notice one whole stanza is about a looming darkness that prevented him from seeing the light. A darkness that shaped his life until he clawed his way out to bask in the sun for the first time. 

 

I think it’s safe to assume that darkness was you.

 

Anyway, I gotta go. Shouto’s already calling me for the first of many birthday presents he has prepared for me. I promise I won’t go into explicit detail about it the next time I write to you.

 

Hah… Next time. Guess we’ll see what becomes of this, old man.

 

Peace out

Katsuki

 

P.S. If you reply, I will not hesitate to call the police.

P.P.S. Seriously. Don’t try me. 

 

May 26, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: guess who?

 

I wanna keep this short and sweet. Or at least, I’ll try. I’m actually in the car right now typing this out. I’m taking a risk doing this next to Shouto. But I figured you should know more about me too since I am your son’s boyfriend. Call me old-fashioned or whatever but let’s just pretend we’re having a couple of beers on the front porch instead of secretly (one-sidedly) corresponding thousands of miles away. 

 

Anyway, I’m here to inform you that my album topped all the charts today only an hour after its release. 

 

It’s okay, you can cheer and clap for me. I know I deserve it. Shouto reminds me every waking second that with every download and purchase, my music deserves to be heard by every living being on the planet. I guess, hypothetically, that includes you too. 

 

So at the end of this email will be a link where you can purchase my songs. They’re also on Spotify and Apple Music if that’s your sort of thing. I recommend the songs Found Family and father, forgive me . Take a wild guess as to whom those songs are meant to be about. 

 

Download my songs here ;) 

 

Yours truly I guess

Katsuki

 

P.S. Here’s my question of the day: Have you ever hugged your son?

P.P.S. Haha nice try

 

June 5, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: nightmares

 

It’s 2am.

 

I would say I’m sorry for bothering you but when have I ever cared if I was bothering you? It’s the third email. It should be clear that bothering you is the least of my worries. 

 

Anyway, Shouto’s going to take summer classes next week but he’s already settled down in Kamino because of some advanced seminars. He’s a smart guy. Incredibly smart. But you know, he’s also really stupid? Deku (our mutual friend) says it’s the beauty of his duality. He can go on and on about his favorite books like he’s giving the world’s biggest TED talk. But he also texts me “katsuki, what’s a pinterest?” Both actually happened. On the same day.

 

Well, whatever. I just started rambling there. It’s 2am, okay? Sue me. (You won’t. I would have been blocked from this email a long time ago if you wanted to.)

 

I woke up because I had to talk to Shouto on the phone until he could fall asleep again. His nightmares aren’t as frequent as they were four years ago but when they come back— they’re bad. Bad is an understatement. He called me practically sobbing and it took me a full hour just to get him to breathe normally. It was the usual type of nightmare, one he got before. 

 

But the way he spoke about it made me feel like it wasn’t just a figment of his vast imagination. 

 

I don’t want to disclose the information of his nightmares because that’s completely different from telling you about birthday parties and album releases. It’s an in-depth look at Shouto’s inner demons and I don’t think you deserve to know about those yet. All I can tell you is that, most of the time, his nightmares involved home.

 

His old home. The one with you in it.

 

I have nightmares a lot too. They’re not as deeply rooted in trauma as Shouto’s is but we both share one thing in common when it comes to dreams. One way or another it’s connected to someone we gave a part of ourselves too. I won’t talk about Shouto’s demons but would you mind if I talked about mine?

 

(I don’t care if you say yes or no.)

 

In the second year after me and Shouto got together, I went on an Asian tour. He couldn’t come because he was a teacher’s assistant and it was our first time being away from each other for a while. We also recently moved in together. A lot of sinful stuff I’m sure you don’t approve of. Since we moved in together already, we were used to waking up beside each other.

 

The first day of my tour, he wasn’t next to me, and my first show almost got cancelled. 

 

Go on, you can say it. I know what you’re thinking. Shouto’s boyfriend has abandonment issues too? Yes, I do. It’s not from my family. Surprisingly enough, they’re decent human beings. But being a shiny new singer who just got a boost in popularity right from my first year? People take advantage of you. They promise you a lifetime then leave after a month. They tell you they love you but kiss someone behind your back. 

 

They use your credit card, bring bitches into your shared bed, hold you when you’re happy but ignore you when you’re sad. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak so you can only imagine how it felt when I first met Shouto. When I was used to one-night stands and drunken hookups, he offered me coffee on a crisp September day. When I told myself over and over again that this will be the last time, Shouto would smile and I’d think okay maybe one more day. 

 

The days turned to weeks. To months. To years. He was by my side even if I urged him to walk away. He was there, a warm and comforting presence much like that cup of coffee he bought me that day. 

 

So when he wasn’t next to me for the first time, my mind only went through all the worst case scenarios. He doesn’t love you. He only stayed with you for so long because he pities you. You’ll never amount to anything more than a warm body for him to use. 

 

Long story short, he took a leave of absence from being a teacher’s assistant just so he could accompany me on tour. My abandonment anxiety since then has subsided with every month I spent dating Shouto. Nowadays, when we’re apart for long periods of time, a phone call is more than enough to ease the ache in my heart for a good night’s rest. 

 

Another question for you: Have you ever dropped everything just to make sure Shouto was alright?

 

He did it first. Absolutely nothing was more important to him than my mental well-being. It shifted a lot of things in our relationship. We communicated well enough before that incident but now it’s like we’ve developed a sixth sense on whether the other one needs something. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, a crappy movie on netflix paired with a bucket of red and blue gummy bears, or simply just a hand to hold, we would know. 

 

And if we don’t? We’d talk.

 

Have you two ever sat down and talked? It doesn’t even have to be serious topics. It can even just be about the damn grocery list. What dinner is going to be. Literally any fucking thing. Have you ever asked him what his favorite color was? What he liked to watch on the television? If he preferred cutting his hair short or keeping it long?

 

Maybe these are sort of foreign concepts to you. But one simple conversation can lead to a lifetime of memories. A lifetime of whispered promises, spontaneous declarations, and midnight confessions. A lifetime of silences that spoke of distant futures and drunken rambles about cities to visit before you die. One conversation can turn a stranger into an acquaintance. An acquaintance into a friend. A friend into a lover. A lover into a soulmate. 

 

A stranger into a son. A stranger into a father.

 

God, I’ve been spending so much time with Shouto, I’m waxing poetic at 3am. Well, that’s what endless conversations do. They have you speaking like the person you miss the most. Shouto will only be gone for the summer but I already miss him. 

 

Do you miss him? Even just a little bit?

 

(Answer that. I’ll make that a requirement.)

 

I probably should go to sleep. Hope I woke you up. 

 

G’night

Katsuki

P.S. Not today, old man.

 

September 16, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: holidays and whatnot

 

Happy respect for the aged day! Not saying I respect you or anything. Just wanted to remind you that you’re old. 

 

I didn’t email last month because a shit ton of stuff happened. For both me and Shouto. He came back from taking his masters level summer classes last week and now he’ll be taking the rest of the school year online. That means, I don’t have to wake up to an empty bed (yay!). I know I said my abandonment anxiety isn’t as bad now but I still get my off days. 

 

As for a life update, I’m working on scoring a movie. My album is doing pretty well and besides all the press interviews and mini-concerts, I still want to do something. I can never really stay still when it comes to my music. Did you know I started out as a drummer? I had a band back then when I was in high school and then I just… made it my career. 

 

It’s the fourth email now. Maybe you’ve earned it.  I’ll actually tell you about the time I met Shouto. 

 

Remember when I said we had a lot of mutual friends? Well, my band members were some of them. Pikachu (Kaminari) invited me to his extremely late birthday party (his birthday is in June. The party was in September). Birthdays seem to be significant events in our lives, even if it isn’t our own. He said he had a friend from work that he wanted to introduce me to. Pikachu actually taught guitar at the same university Shouto was working in. 

 

Did we hit it off right away? Not really no. I hated him. 

 

Well… I thought I hated him. I was fresh from a breakup that time. It wasn’t one of those lowly hookups either. I thought I was in love with my ex then. I had him for a year before he cheated. All that nasty good stuff that constitutes a messy breakup. He had a few similarities to Shouto actually. A few of the same family issues too. So, when I met Shouto, I couldn’t stand him. He was a sign that I would make another mistake if I tried.

 

Are you wondering when the coffee comes in? Patience, dear old man, patience. 

 

After Kaminari introduced us, I avoided him like the plague. This was impossible because Pikachu’s apartment was way too fucking small to be hosting a party with a hundred guests. Every time I sat down to talk to someone, he was there. It felt like he was following me. I knew he wasn’t and that the coincidences were just astronomically abundant that night but man was his constant presence really rubbing me the wrong way. 

 

(I realized later that it was because I wanted to kiss him but maybe that’s a little TMI for you, huh?)

 

I ended up escaping to the rooftop, as I usually do when I get overwhelmed with crowds. And guess who was already there? It was the half-and-half bastard himself, perched on a very questionable looking lawn chair with a beer bottle in one hand and writing in a notebook on the other. His beer bottle was mostly full. I don’t think he liked it very much. But his notebook was brimming with words.

 

He wasn’t particularly talkative back at the party but when he was by himself on that rooftop? With the moonlight and background noises of the city? Mr. Todoroki, your son looked like he was plucked straight from a romance manga. Are you aware how beautiful your son is? I’m gonna tell you now that he’s gorgeous beyond words. I’m an award winning songwriter and producer and yet I cannot find the words to describe the majesty that is your son.

 

Was he always an attractive kid? I don’t have any of his baby pictures (gosh, I wonder why) so I wouldn’t really know. Have you ever stopped to look at him and think that he was God’s gift to humanity? That he was God’s gift to you? Because I do. Everyday I spend with him, I am reminded that this ethereal man is actually fucking real. And that he’s mine! Fucking crazy, isn’t it?

 

The coffee came in the morning after. I went to my usual spot whenever I slept over at someone else’s place. I didn’t expect him to be there, at my seat, the same notebook in his hands, and looking every bit as beautiful as he did the night before. But I was cautious. My heart wasn’t so easily given away, you know? I accepted the coffee he bought me, though. Then, e started one of those life-changing conversations. 

 

Then the rest was history. 

 

We didn’t get together until January. Just a week after his birthday. He always told me that I was his favorite birthday present. He’s an absolute sap and he says that every fucking year. 

 

But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it.  

 

Birthdays and holidays used to be trivial things for both of us. Just another excuse to get drunk or eat a shit ton of sugar. Now, they are more of something to look forward to. Especially for Shouto. He loves birthdays and holidays. He can’t get enough of them. If he can’t plan it, he will definitely help decorate. He won’t cook,  though. He’s a disaster in the kitchen. He can probably make a piece of toast. 

 

It’s telling that we met during a birthday party. If it’s not already obvious, Shouto loves his friends. He probably loves his friends more than he loves himself. To celebrate the life of someone he holds dear is special to him. He loves shopping for presents, writing little personalized poems, and the promise of enough booze to last him throughout the night. I hated birthday parties until he came along. His enthusiasm rubs off on you (or maybe that’s the sugar high).

 

Shouto loves milestones and anniversaries too. He counts the days meticulously, down to the very first millisecond. I first thought it was kind of odd. Shouto remembers the exact time when I plucked up the courage to ask him on a real date. He remembers that it was 3:15pm on a Wednesday afternoon when he asked me to move in with him. 

 

He remembers the very second when I first told him I loved him.

 

That was when I realized that it wasn’t odd— it was a coping mechanism. It was a way for him to be reminded that every second in his life where something good is happening is real. A way for him to remember that in these hours, these minutes, and these seconds , he is experiencing the good things in life. 

 

Have you ever noticed that? Have you ever stopped to watch him long enough to see him counting under his breath when he’s doodling on the dinner table? Have you ever seen his fingers twitch rhythmically to an imaginary ticking clock when he leaves the house to go to school? Have you ever heard him say “today will be a good day. Good day #322.”

 

He resets the number every year. But it never really goes all the way up to Good day #365. (We were close last year).

 

Has there been good days when he used to live with you? Has it ever gone up past a hundred? 

 

What do you consider to be a good day? What factors into your good day?

 

I know it won’t be the same as what I consider to be a good day. But maybe we have some similarities. I’ve attached a document to this email about a few of my good days. You’ll notice your son’s name pops up frequently. 

 

Have a good day (or not, it’s your life)

Katsuki

P.S. Don’t.

 

November 9, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: ‘sup bastard (3)

 

You know how I talked about good days? Today was one of those good days. If I sent this at a time where you’re not having a good day, then whatever. I’ll gloat, it’s what I deserve. 

 

Remember that movie I was thinking about scoring? Well, it’s finally greenlit and I’m about to score my first fucking movie! You may cheer. You may applaud politely. This is a huge deal, it’s only fair that you do. If you don’t give a shit? I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I AM SCORING MY FIRST MOVIE, BITCH!!!

 

I’ve never written music that’s purely sound. I started out as a punk rock lyricist. I was all angsty and shit. My Chemical Romance had nothing on the angst that I wrote when I was a teenager. Actually, I think my old songs are still on soundcloud somewhere. (Don’t you dare find it. I will fucking end you if you do. Even Shouto promised never to do it and you better do the same.)

 

Oh, and the best part? Shouto was tapped to be an executive producer.

 

Part of the long list of things you probably don’t know about your son, but he’s been partly responsible for the animation renaissance. He took up film as an elective in college and he’s a part-time producer now. Amazing, isn’t it? Your son has accomplished a fuckload of things that even I’m still trying to unpack. He even directed my most recent music video. I mean, something has got to pay for all those fancy degrees he’s been taking. 

 

He’s made a name for himself in a lot of places. I’m really surprised that you haven’t heard of him at all. Or… actually I’m not surprised. The most amount of updates you probably get about Shouto’s life is from these emails. And aren’t you damn lucky that you even get updates at all? You should be grateful for me. I would have stopped at the first one if I thought you didn’t deserve to know more about him. 

 

But it’s the fifth email and I realized something. It’s not that you deserve to know. I don’t think you deserve to be in his life yet. Or at all. Depends on how I feel about it yet. 

 

No. I think you need a reality check.

 

This accomplished man with the brightest future ahead of him is who you threw out of the house. This beautiful, kind, and amazing man is the same son you deemed wasn’t as worthy as the dirt on your shoes. You spat on this man’s face, unknowing of what he will do to prove to you that he is so much more than the vindictive words you said to him when you slammed the door in his face.

 

And you know what? I’m fucking proud of that man. 

 

He’s produced countless animated stories that will inspire kids for generations, he’s written poems that can tug on the heartstrings of even the coldest man on earth. And he’s still learning. He’s still growing. He’s going to school to learn so many more things that can help others. He’s getting a masters. He’s getting a PhD. Heck, I think he’ll build his own school one day.

 

After all of that, can you honestly tell me that Shouto wouldn’t amount to anything? 

 

(I know those were your words. Don’t try to deny it. I didn’t even have to ask Shouto to know.)

 

I’m telling you these things about our lives because I need you to see how much of a raging asshole you were (are). I will keep telling you about all the fucking fantastic things Shouto has accomplished and will accomplish without you there. Maybe your ridiculous standards made him push himself more. Maybe the loss of your love made him learn to find love somewhere else. 

 

But no matter what your influence on his life was before, I’m here to tell you that his success right now is not because of you. I’m not a believer of trauma and fear being a damn teaching opportunity. You didn’t teach him shit that got him where he is today. All you taught him was that not every father loves their child unconditionally. 

 

And that’s a shitty thing for you to teach him. 

 

He may have made peace with all the crap you’ve done to him in the past. He may have lesser nightmares now. He may have someone who actually loves him and will hold him at night. He may have all these good things now. But don’t ever let it get to your head that you helped him there by abandoning him. 

 

Here’s another question to cap this all off: If your father did what you did to Shouto, how would you react? 

 

Answer that. Thoroughly.

 

If you want to watch interviews about the upcoming movie, I’ll attach some links here. The ones with Shouto. As a special treat, I’ve also attached an mp3 file of the bare bones arrangement for the main character’s leitmotif. Shouto wrote lyrics for it too. The lyrics will never be released but I’ll give them for you to peruse. 

 

I’ll let you interpret what you want from my music and Shouto’s words. You’ll find that what we make together can be nothing short of extraordinary. 

 

Hizashi’s Corner - Interview with Executive Producer for anticipated animated feature

Todoroki Shouto - Young Executive (60 Minutes)

The future of animation (a sit down with young executive producer Todoroki Shouto)

Ai’s Leitmotif download link

 

As always

Katsuki

P.S. After all I said up there? I don’t think so.

 

December 18, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: ho ho ho

 

I would have emailed you before the holidays but you can imagine how busy I was. You were the least of my priorities, old man. You’re just going to have to accept that. I don’t know if you celebrate Christmas or anything but I guess a Merry Christmas is in order? Shouto never mentioned anything about your religion or anything but whatever. Merry Christmas. 

 

Once again, Shouto is absolutely excited for all the Christmas preparations. In fact, he’s already decorated the living room. And the kitchen… And the bedroom. I might have to convince him to remove that weird miniature statue of Santa in the corner of our room. It really kills the vibe. It’s like having your kid walk in on you having sex. Except this kid is motionless and its eyes are dead (and is it just me or can I hear the statue saying ho ho ho in the dead of night? Never mind. I’m burning that statue first thing tomorrow).

 

Shouto and I went Christmas shopping this morning too. He has a very specific itemized list of presents to give all our friends. He puts a lot of thought into their presents every year. No gift is the same. Well… except maybe for Kirishima’s. All Shouto does for him is renew his subscription for his monthly barrel of protein powder. It’s all the man ever lives on. It’s kind of disgusting.

 

In the spirit of the holidays, and since I’m taking a break from wrapping the millions of presents we have, I’ll tell you about our friends. (Mutual friends. Shouto has a lot of other buddies I can’t stand but since I’m a good boyfriend, I can be civil.)

 

I’ll start with the dumbasses. We’ll work our way up in what I consider to be least to most intelligent. And this is me being nice. 

 

First is Kaminari. I mentioned before that he’s the guitar teacher at Shouto’s university where he worked as a teaching assistant. He was one of my old bandmates in high school. He played rhythm guitar but he actually studied classical guitar for six years before joining the band. Gotta admit, for all the moments where he can be a complete dumbass, the guy is really good at guitar. I usually tap him for riffs in my more heavy rock type pieces. He’s the best guitarist I know. (If he finds out I said that, I’m burning your house down).

 

Second is Kirishima. He latched onto me on our first day of high school and he never let me go since. He was Shouto’s personal trainer for a few months. That’s how he knows to get the guy protein for every fucking special holiday. Besides myself, he’s the loudest one in our friend group. Both in a group chat and in real life. His energy is fucking ridiculous sometimes. Guess that’s what happens when you were practically raised in a gym. 

 

He’s a good guy. Annoyingly good. I can never stay mad at him for too long even if it seems like I constantly want to take a shit every time he’s nearby. He can’t know my soft spot for him. Mina would go apeshit.

 

Oh and then there is Mina. She’s the only other person I call by their first name because she beat me at beer pong once and that was the deal. She’s earned my respect that way. I’ve never lost beer pong before and the lady can belch like a choir. She’s usually a hair and makeup stylist. I don’t hire anyone else to touch my hair for a photo or video shoot. She styled Shouto’s hair for a hefty interview day once and now he’s the first person she calls when she needs someone to babysit her dog. He loves sending me selfies of him and Cloud (that’s the dog) every time. I feel like Shouto uses that sometimes to try and convince me to get a pet with him. 

 

(He succeeded. My Christmas present for him this year is a kitten that will arrive right when the clock strikes 12.)

 

Other members of my band were Tokoyami and Yaoyorozu. Sero was our roadie. We had a band manager too named Iida. He is now my own personal manager. What can I say? I trust virgos the most with schedules. He and Shouto bond about being earth signs or something. I always see them gossiping backstage when I have a show. One day, I’ll find out what they’re talking about. 

 

He actually knew Iida from college before I introduced them. They won the best Thesis award for their research on toxic masculinity vs the female gaze in Asian dramas. I’ve attached a pdf copy here. It definitely deserved the best thesis award. They even had a TED talk regarding the subject which I’ll link to at the end. It might be something you can learn from. 

 

Then there are the other members of Shouto’s more immediate friend group. Uraraka and Asui are his go-to girls for relaxing nights when I’m going to be late working. I usually see them passed out on the couch by the time I get home, face masks in place, cucumber slices on their eyes, and the ending credits of Legally Blonde playing on the TV. 

 

Oh. Then there’s Deku.

 

The funny thing about Deku is that not only is he our mutual friend, he’s also our mutual ex. 

 

Deku was my first boyfriend actually. He’s the longest lasting one, outlasting even Shouto by a year. Shouto’s about to beat him by next year. He’s planning on commissioning a banner that says “I win this time, Midoriya!” It’s gonna be hilarious. I plan on making cupcakes where Shouto is standing on a pedestal and Deku is in second place.

 

I bet you’re wondering: why are both of you still friends with him?

 

Despite whatever notion you’ve picked up about me through these emails, I used to be more open about my emotions. Deku and I also go way back. Way back as in kindergarten. Yeah, we were the childhood best friends. He was there for a lot of the major shifts in my life, including me coming out as gay. It just so happened he was gay the whole time too. As far as we knew, we were the only two gay kids in middle school.

 

So, the only logical conclusion was for us to be together. 

 

I’m pretty lucky. Deku was a good first boyfriend. A lot of the people I dated after him seemed to pale in comparison. Only two other people were able to surpass Deku. (One was obviously your son and the other… that’s a story for another time). Anyway, Deku and I dated until graduation. Obviously, we didn’t end things on bad terms. Deku is also a fellow musician and he was aiming for a lot of the same things I was. 

 

Deku knew how I get when it comes to competitions and he wasn’t willing to back down just because I wanted it as badly as he did. We talked about whether or not it would be good to stay together while we reached for the same dream. Ultimately, we both decided that it would be more of a detriment than a healthy competition. 

 

I’m gonna be honest. Just because we talked about it and ended things cleanly, it still hurt. Before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend. At the time, in my stupidly immature brain, I thought I lost my best friend too. I closed off from long-term relationships after Deku. I couldn’t speak to him for two years either. It was stupid and a decision made from residual anger at myself. 

 

But after those two years of actively avoiding him, he was the one to ask for a helping hand for his new album. Even after all I did to cut contact, he waited and left the door open for our friendship to rekindle. I’m grateful for that really. I’d never say it to him or else he’ll start crying but I missed my best friend. 

 

When he called me for help, he was dating Shouto. This was a whole year before Kaminari’s birthday party where we met. He dated Shouto for about a year and a half before that party. I never asked about him. I just knew that Deku may have even loved him at some point. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I haven’t loved anyone since we broke up. 

 

Another fun fact: Deku was also Shouto’s first boyfriend. 

 

Falling in love with the same people. Shouto and I have a lot more in common than we thought. 

 

I’m glad that Deku was Shouto’s first boyfriend too. Deku loves wholeheartedly and I’m sure Shouto wasn’t quite used to someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. Coming from a pretty closed off family led by the biggest asshole in the universe, I’m confident in my assumption that the simple act of expressing feelings was an entirely foreign concept to him. 

 

Deku taught him that his emotions were his and his alone to experience . Deku taught him that it wasn’t weak to ask for help. He learned that it’s okay to just exist sometimes. I met the Shouto who was influenced by Deku’s big heart. It was that big heart that made Shouto realize the amount of love that he still had left to give.

 

One year later, he chose to give a majority of that love to me. 

 

So, we’re still close to Deku because, in one way or another, he influenced us for the better. Our relationship wouldn’t last as long if it weren’t for Deku to help us process the baggage we still carried before we met each other. It’s not as awkward for us when we say that Deku is our ex. He’s more than that. He was a shared experience.

 

(Can you tell that there is a part of me that still loves him? Don’t worry, Shouto is still number one. Deku is just special. Always has been and Shouto agrees with me.)

 

There are a lot of other friends I haven’t mentioned yet but I’ve told you the most important ones. I had to tell you about Deku more specifically. Had to show you that there are ways to deal with intense emotions without shutting someone out. 

 

Question of the day: Have you ever thought about therapy?

 

I hear Shouto calling me back to the living room. I’ve procrastinated too much already and this email is much longer than planned. Oh well. Think of it as a Christmas present from me to you. 

 

Iida Tenya and Todoroki Shouto: what the fuck is up with gender? (TEDxSH TALK)

 

Happy holidays, motherfucker

Katsuki

P.S. It may be the holiday season, but I’m not feeling that generous, old man.

 

December 25, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: !!!!!!!!!!

 

It’s not a competition but Shouto won this time. 

 

I gave him a kitten. He gave me a ring. 

 

Merry fucking Christmas to me.

I’M GETTING MARRIED

Katsuki

P.S. The picture I attached is the engagement ring. Look at it and weep, old man!

P.P.S. I don’t need a reply

 

December 31, 2024

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: engagement 

 

So, our engagement has been broadcasted all over the world at this point. There’s not a single soul alive who doesn’t know that Shouto Todoroki is officially off the table. The tabloids had a field day, let me tell you that. Both of us may be successful in our own right but a lot of assholes still like to question our relationship. 

 

Don’t get me started on the fans. Mine are honestly pretty chill about it. I never perpetrated the fantasy most performers do for their fanbase. I made it very clear from the start of my career that I do not belong to any of them. I make music for me and if you happen to like it, good for you. I don’t like pretending even for the sake of fanservice. 

 

But Shouto’s fans? They are a sight to behold. 

 

Shouto’s fans are very niche, part of what they think themselves to be an elite group of intellectuals who practically worship the ground Shouto walks on. I don’t blame them, really. Shouto is mad attractive. Ah, who am I kidding? Shouto is fucking sexy . (Too late to cover your ears now, old man). He’s extremely intelligent, has written a best-selling poetry anthology, produced countless award-winning animated films, and he’s an LGBTQ icon. He’s the complete package and then some. 

 

So, imagine their disdain when he settled for me. 

 

Not that my achievements are laughable compared to his. I don’t like comparing our achievements because there really shouldn’t be anything to compare in the first place. We’re both artists and that’s where the similarities end. Our industries may overlap but most of the time, we’re just doing our own thing. And we get recognized for those things. I’ve won my awards and he’s won his. Yet, so many people think that he could do better. 

 

And you know what? Sure. They’re right. Shouto could absolutely do better than me. He could have easily found literally anyone. People would line up down the block just to get a glimpse of him. He could take his pick from thousands of suitors, men and women alike, and they would give him the world. 

 

Tough. He still chose me. 

 

I’m not going to feel bad or ashamed of myself. That was old Katsuki. Shouto chose me and I chose him . I will continue to choose him for as long as the goddamn universe will allow me. Actually, fuck the universe. The universe didn’t do shit for either of us. All it did was give us a load of crap and yet we’re both here, flipping a middle finger in the face of so-called fate. 

 

(Do you think I could just put my engagement ring on my middle finger? That’d be fucking hilarious.)

 

Anyway, I gotta go. We’re celebrating New Year’s at Deku’s place. (Yes, our mutual ex. We spend new years there every year.) I’ve been nagging Shouto to pack his stuff already and all he’s been doing is lie down on the bed and rewatch Queer Eye. I’m gonna drag him back to his duffle bag in five minutes. 

 

Happy New Year, asshole

Katsuki

P.S. Maybe next year

 

March 3, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: major shifts

 

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!

 

I don’t even want you to reply because god fucking damn it!!! I’ve been holding all of this in for weeks!!! Here is my happy fucking new year question for you: Are you aware that Shouto’s estranged brother showed up at our doorstep just two days after the new year? 

 

(WHAT THE FUCK X2)

 

I haven’t sent an email because of that. Shouto is still shaken by it. He hasn’t seen his eldest brother in literal years. Even longer than you. He ran away first right? He already saw you for who you were and who you were going to become way earlier in life. So he ran away and he left his siblings behind. Wasn’t Shouto barely three years old? How do you feel having chased away someone who should have been special to Shouto? How would you have reacted if you saw him suddenly demanding to be part of your life after he left?

 

The thing is, I don’t think it will happen to you. He wouldn’t ever go back to you. He knew that you and Shouto haven’t contacted each other for years. He couldn’t go to his other siblings. He went to his baby brother (who is practically a stranger) because he knew that he was the last person to contact you. 

 

Do you fucking understand how much you’ve traumatized your own fucking family?

 

It took me two months to email you again because guess what Shouto did? Kind, forgiving, understanding Shouto offered his brother the guest room. He’s been living with us since January 3rd. I would have emailed you during Shouto’s birthday or on our 5th anniversary but as you can see, there was one other thing keeping us occupied for the moment. 

 

Okay, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Shouto’s brother. Touya doesn’t seem to be the type to leech off of someone else unless he was under dire circumstances. And he was. He wouldn’t exactly tell us (you know, trust issues and all that) but Shouto just seemed to know it in his heart that he was what his brother needed right now. So now, I’m not just living with one traumatised kid from Enji Todoroki.

 

I’m living with two.

 

Right now, the two of them are on some sibling bonding trip downtown. Shouto was planning it for two weeks. Touya doesn’t stay in the apartment for too long, actually. He’s there for breakfast and he comes back at like 2am. Shouto never asks him about it even if I’m burning with curiosity. He always says that Touya will open up when he’s ready. He cited me as an example and honestly I couldn’t argue with him after that.

 

Besides all the shit with your other son, our lives have been smooth sailing. Shouto is practically speedrunning his second masters degree and he’s considering applying for that PhD in the fall. On top of that, pre-production for the movie we’re doing is still ongoing. It had to be delayed for a couple months but it’s back in full swing. Casting calls will be released by June. 

 

I was already given a shit ton of storyboards to reference for my score. I don’t have an assistant in all this and I like it that way. My fiance is already an executive producer so any questions that I need to ask will course through him anyway. It’s a fantasy movie based off of a manga that was released two years ago. The mangaka didn’t want an anime series and it took a lot of negotiations for them to agree to a movie. 

 

Of course, I still have preparations for my next album. I didn’t win for my album last year because it was released too close to the actual awards ceremony so I’m starting early. I’m hoping to get it out by mid-July. That actually clashes with the deadline I have for the movie score but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ll probably tap Deku to help with album production. He always has helpful insight.

 

Oh right, I forgot to update you on Shouto’s anthology. I said last time that it was already best-selling. He released it around mid-November and let me tell you, your son truly has a way with words. His poems almost seem like chapters of a novel, alive with motifs and descriptions that could bring any modern day poet to their knees. He recently released extra poems in a special Valentine’s Day edition. I attached them to this email for your perusal. 

 

I could be biased but I think my favorite poem from that anthology was the one so appropriately named: Katsuki. 

 

Your son hasn’t lost his remarkable talent of making me feel like I’m the most loved person in the galaxy. When he writes about me, it’s like the ink he uses comes from the blood pumping through his veins. Every letter, every verse, every dotted ‘i’ and crossed out “t” is so meticulously woven together to create the most intimate piece of the whole series. 

 

A lot of prestigious poetry critics also cite Katsuki by Shouto as “a masterpiece that could transcend time in its captivating description of a love many have forgotten.” I’m allowed to feel pride in that. The poem has my name on it. I’d like to think I’m partly responsible for all those raw feelings Shouto, and only Shouto, is able to express on paper. 

 

(Shouto doesn’t know it but I have a bunch of songs I wrote entitled Shouto. It’s a whole album’s worth.)

 

Also, I’m at the helm of planning our wedding which will take place next year. We didn’t want to get married yet this year as we both have big things to accomplish first (As you can see above). Plus, we always took our time when it came to stuff like this. Took me about 4 months to actually ask him out. Two years to finally move in with him. One more year of waiting to get married is nothing.

 

Besides, we have the rest of our lifetimes to figure things out. 

Whatever

Katsuki

P.S. Yeah. No.

 

April 10, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: album

 

Remember when I said I had a shit ton of songs written about Shouto that could fill a whole album?

 

Well, that’s the album I will be releasing soon.

 

Granted, a lot of these songs are still pretty rough. I wrote a lot of these at the dead of night. Some I wrote on tour whenever I’m away from him. So a lot of these pieces talked about longing. I have to do some heavy editing but the very core of these songs will always remain. My entire heart is always poured out into my music. I guess it’s fitting that all my heart wanted to write about was the one man who held it like it was a precious treasure.

 

I had Deku listen to a few of them and he cried during this one song the most. It’s still named Shouto (#26) and I was planning on changing it after I’ve tweaked it but Deku said I should keep it that way. He said that it was the perfect song to name after Shouto. I kept in mind that he also used to love Shouto so I considered it for a while. I listened to it again after he left, just to really gauge whether or not it deserves to be titled Shouto, when the man himself walked into the room.

 

He said nothing when my voice crooned out the soft melody through the speakers. All he did was wrap his arms around my shoulders, kiss my head, then left without saying a single word. 

 

I knew then that Deku was right. 

Shouto isn’t particularly vocal until you get to know him. But he’s always complimented my music or had notes on lyrics when I asked for some. I’d have him listen to demos and he’d give his feedback. I’d do the same with some of his poems and dissertations. We push each other to be the best at what we do. He’s my worst critic and my music has come so far since we started dating. 

 

This time he didn’t say anything. 

 

Yet, that silence spoke volumes.

 

Are you a firm believer of “actions speak louder than words?” That’s a bold claim coming from me, honestly. As a person whose career is 90% words and 10% hitting my head against a soundboard at 3am, I cherish the quiet intensity of an action done with meaning. Shouto is an expert at that. He manages to make the silence sound so loud with his arms wrapped around me, lips on mine, and forehead pressed against my own.

 

Am I being sappy again? Why don’t you take some pointers from me, old man? This is one of the healthier ways of loving someone. 

 

Although, it’s hard for me to believe you ever felt love at all.

 

I’ve attached the first demo of Shouto to this email. Write your thoughts down, even if I don’t actually care about your opinion.

Peace

Katsuki

P.S. Nah

 

April 21, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: birth

 

I won’t say much. It was my birthday yesterday and I’ll just send some of my best pictures of Shouto looking happy. Get familiar with the smile Shouto has on his face and suffer in the knowledge that you’ll never be the reason for that smile.

 

Happy birthday to me

Katsuki

P.S. What do you think?

 

May 29, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: stuff has happened

 

Touya moved out.

 

He didn’t say goodbye to me personally, just a short thank you text. Well, I expected that much. I cooked the guy’s breakfasts for four months. He better be fucking grateful. I don’t know if he’s coming back and quite frankly, I don’t want to ask Shouto. However, your son did extend an invitation to him for our wedding. I don’t know if he’ll go. For Shouto’s sake, I hope he does.

 

Touya stayed out of our way most of the time and Shouto was serious in helping his brother back to his feet no matter how long it took. I let them do their thing. It’s not that I’m averse to Shouto talking to his long lost brother, I don’t dictate his life, but you can’t stop me from being cautious. Shouto says Touya found a nice apartment down in Kansai with three other people to split the rent. He never mentioned the exact address.

 

I assume we’re not going to be invited there for game night.

 

Besides the Touya thing, Shouto’s completed one of his master’s degrees and will submit his thesis for the second one before I release my album. Iida said I should do an album tour with this one, to generate more interest and boost sales enough for awards season. He guarantees at least three nominations if we play our cards right. We’ll get a win through sheer strategy. Iida is good at that stuff. I see his shit ton of spreadsheets, he’s definitely run the numbers.

 

As for the movie, they’ve already casted the lead actress ahead of schedule. An up and coming starlet about our age. Jirou Kyouka. She has a few indie tracks out as a singer and has done mostly short films and voice acting gigs. I’m thinking of getting her to sing some vocals on the film score. I like her stuff and I think her voice fits with the vibe I’m trying to go with for the whole movie.

 

Also, Shouto is helping me with the lyrics for some of my songs. I wrote and recorded some of them flat out drunk so there were a lot of parts that were barely coherent. You know how they say that a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts? I take that philosophy quite literally. I write a lot of my songs drunk. My first grammy nomination was the brainchild of whiskey and pot. 

 

He’s helping me with that plus he’s working on another poetry collection. This time, the poems are interconnected, almost like clipped segments of a novel. I’ve attached a few excerpts to this email as well as the demos to my drunk songs. Both come from the heart, just expressed in different ways. Shouto plans on publishing this after filming for the movie is finished. If he’s not in meetings for it, he’s writing poems. If he’s not writing poems, he’s writing his thesis. If he’s not writing his thesis, he’s writing me lyrics. 

 

Your son, as you can see, is constantly writing. 

 

Have you ever noticed indications of his writing prowess at a young age? Shouto said you wanted to make him a business executive or something else equally soul crushing. What exactly is your stance on the arts? Do you think art is a waste of time? Did you ban any and all forms of creative expression at home? 

 

Have you ever tried finding your own creative outlet?

 

Because as you can see, art is an important part of Shouto’s life. He double majored in creative writing and communications in college all under a scholarship. Oh, I never actually told you what kinds of master’s degrees he’s getting, right? The first one he completed was an MA in world literature. The one he’s doing now is an MFA in East Asian Literature. After he applies for every university on the planet, he’s getting a PhD in Creative Writing. Not to mention his published anthology and movies he’s produced.

 

Poetry, literature, film, and art overall runs in his veins. He’s an artist through and through, and not the starving kind. 

 

He’s an artist, Enji. Your son is one of the greatest artists I’ve ever had the privilege to call my life partner.

 

I’ve sent you so many snippets, demos, interviews, and even the unpublished version of his anthology to show you that exact truth. I hope by now you’ll see that this isn’t just a handful of spiteful emails (though most of them were written because of spite). This is a documentation of everything your son is now and how magnificent he is without you in the picture. 

 

I intend to keep going until you block me permanently.

 

Honestly, the fact that you haven’t blocked me yet tells me something. So, tell me Enji, why haven’t you sent a restraining order yet? Why haven’t you blocked me? Do you leave these emails unread in your inbox? Do you look through all the links and attachments I send and find yourself actually seeing your son? 

 

Do you know your son a little better now?

 

Whether the answer to that is yes or no, let me get one thing clear:

 

No matter how many more emails I send you. No matter the amount of unpublished works I let you read or the songs I let you listen to. No matter the amount of interviews you watch. No matter if you’ve finally worked up this hazy image of him in your fucked up brain. Always remember this,

 

I will always know Shouto better than you ever will. 

 

And I have loved him unconditionally too. 

 

That’s definitely more than you’ve ever loved him. That is… if you’ve even loved him at all. 

 

Did you love your son?

 

Do you still love him?

 

The answer to that should be immediate.

Till the next one

Katsuki

P.S. Yeah… I don’t think so, old man. 

 

June 15, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: wedding planning

 

You know, I'm starting to think I know more about your family than you do.

 

I mean, it's pretty obvious if you don't even think about it. I've been dating your youngest son for five years now and your eldest son is now helping us with wedding planning. Funny how the world works. Shouto invites Touya for Sunday Brunch, which used to just be a friend thing but now I guess it's a family thing now? I couldn't really say no to Shouto, due to the fact that we lived with the guy for a while and he didn't burn our apartment down. 

 

Touya is surprisingly decent enough in the kitchen and I trust him more with the knives and preheating the oven more than my own fiancé. I mean… Have you ever witnessed Shouto in the kitchen? Baby can't even hold a tomato without accidentally cutting himself. I'm still debating whether or not that's a skill or just sheer dumbassery. I'm leaning towards the latter. 

 

Wedding planning has been fucking stressful. Three fucking cheers I guess to the Japanese government for legalizing same-sex marriage or whatever but the paperwork is an absolute hellscape. I've spent more time filling out information pages than writing songs lately. It's even affected how much Shouto works on his dissertation and poetry book. It's a lot, you know?

 

And honestly, it's not just the legal bullshit we have to go through or the constant piling up of deadlines from our other projects. Truth is, this wouldn't have been as difficult if we were a straight couple. I dare you to not say shit about this because you don't have the right. You probably had it so easy, just letting your wife's family plan everything and automatically getting that shiny certificate without so much as a blink from legal. We're doing twice or hell even thrice more paperwork than a straight couple would. 

 

So yeah, hurray that same-sex marriage is a thing. But it's so blatantly obvious that it's still seen as an other. More of an exception to the norm. So they have to give us so much shit to fill out just to be seen as valid. It's absolute bullshit. Shouto and I already had to work twice as hard just to prove ourselves in the industries that we're in because we're gay. I didn't want to have to fucking worry about whether or not we'd be able to marry. 

 

But it's a process we unfortunately have to go through if we want to call each other husbands. Touya actually has been a huge help in that one. Apparently he has a few ties with some people in high places. I usually don't like tapping shady connections but if we can get at least one person on our side for this, the whole process would be a little easier. Besides, Touya has already spotted a few obsolete forms that we don't actually have to fill out so… that's been helpful. 

 

(I still don't know what Touya does for a living. At this point, I'm too afraid to ask. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, right? I will just choose to… look away.) 

 

Besides all that stress about the wedding, Shouto's been working hard on his poetry book. Several publishers are lining up to get him signed already. He's in demand, old man. This time, I won't attach a PDF for you. I'd like you to actually buy the book once it's been released. Same thing goes for my album which will be released tomorrow. Get out of the house and buy it, old man. I won't be giving you any freebies from now on. 

 

I'll make sure to send you details on how to buy movie tickets too once our movie is in theaters. Have you been to a theater? Come on, I hope you're not that culturally inept. 

 

Buy our shit!

Katsuki

P.S. Absolutely not. 

 

June 22, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: goodbye for a bit

 

With the successful release of my album and Shouto barely holding onto his sanity to finish his dissertation, don't expect emails for the next few months. Thought I should give you a heads up in case you were actually looking forward to this shit. 

 

Ha… Imagine that? You excited to hear from me? Absolutely fucking hilarious. (Humor me, I'm running on an hour of sleep and way too much Kool-Aid.) 

 

Goodbye for now

Katsuki

P.S. No <3

 

December 2, 2025

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: awards and all that jazz

 

Wasn't kidding when I said I wouldn't email you for a while. Life really took to a whirlwind the past few months, I was barely able to stay still long enough to type down a draft. But now that things have settled down a bit and we're just preparing for the holiday season, I think you're definitely due for an update. 

 

By now, unless all the news you ever get about Shouto is from these emails, you should know that your son's poetry book was published with rave reviews. Did you buy it? You better have fucking bought it. Touya has access to consumer transaction histories (don't ask. I didn't bother anymore) so I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. And that's generous coming from me. 

 

Whether you did or not, Shouto's brilliant. He's so fucking brilliant, isn't he? 

 

I feel like it's been ages since I've truly talked about Shouto's infinite talents and how goddamn amazing your son is. Maybe it's because talking to (at?) you doesn't make Shouto any less spectacular. Other than the book, he's finished his dissertation and is now the proud owner of two master's degrees. Several schools have also offered him a slot for when he ultimately pursues that PhD. 

 

Here's a surprise though, Shouto has decided to wait until after our wedding to apply for one. I guess the reassurance that schools are willing to take him in is enough for him to realize he needed a break from studying. Which is a good thing. I've taken to cuddling him while he was working on his dissertation. He wouldn't even move when I sat on his lap and hugged him for three hours. He's got laser focus and alas, even I couldn't distract him enough from finishing his paper. 

 

But I can have him all to myself for now. No new books or research papers for the next few months. The movie is now in its animation stage and should be released by this time next year if all goes according to schedule. My score is good and ready to go, with minimal critiques from the execs. 

 

All that's left is awards season and then Christmas. 

 

I got nominated. Obviously. If you actually went out to buy my album (appropriately named fiancé for obvious reasons), you would know that my album topped several charts both on the physical sales and digital downloads. I was nominated for three major awards. One for Album of the Year, one for Song of the Year (for the one named Shouto ), and one for Best Recording Artist of 2025. 

 

If I'm being totally honest? I only want Shouto to win. 

 

You heard the demo. You've read the lyrics. Isn't it only fair that the song I named after my soon-to-be husband gets the praise and accolades it deserves? Besides, it wouldn't have existed without him. It's just as much his win as it is my own. 

 

If you plan on watching the award ceremony, save the date! December 12 at 8:30PM. I'll be performing Shouto and a medley of my older songs then too. Some of them you may recognize from a previous email I sent you. There's a bit of a surprise during the performance so you better try and catch it, you old fart. 

 

Also, your son is doing a book signing as well as a book tour after the holidays. Maybe we’ll pass by your hometown. If you see a parade done in your son’s name a few miles away from your house, just know that I may or may not have arranged it. With Shouto’s approval, of course. (Although, it was initially his idea.)

 

How are you liking it? Knowing that your son is thriving so much like this without you? Does it hurt? Do you feel resentment? Are you guilty? 

 

Maybe you should be. 

 

Fingers crossed

Katsuki

P.S. The Christmas spirit hasn't changed me yet, old man. 

 

January 3, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: pictures

 

Happy New Year, fuckface! 

 

I'll keep this one short because Shouto and I are about to embark on a week-long journey of location hunting for our wedding. (Once again, Shouto hasn't finished packing so I have to nag him in three minutes.)

 

I decided to just attach a shit ton of pictures I have of Shouto and I at the awards ceremony (I won all three awards), our Christmas party with all the nerds, and the annual New Year's Eve bash at Deku's place. He decided to have it at one of his vacation homes in Miyagi and I think Shouto was drunk more than half the time. Might fuck around and buy a vacation house there too. 

 

(And no I won't send pictures of your drunk son. I'm not that inconsiderate. Maybe just the tipsy ones.)

 

I'll send pictures too when it's his birthday. This time, we'll be celebrating it properly. Touya already got a warning from me. 

 

Happy new year

Katsuki

P.S. New year, same old postscript, buddy. You know what I'll say at this point so let's save you the stress of reading it, yeah? 

 

January 13, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: birthday boy

 

Another short one but expect a fuckload of pictures from Shouto's birthday party. The theme was Under the Sea. 

 

Did you know of your son's borderline obsession with Ariel? He says they got a lot in common. Wonder why that is? 

 

Bye

Katsuki

P.S. It's not your birthday, right? Not a chance. 

 

February 16, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: family business

 

I've never talked about my own family to you, have I? Other than that first jab about you being worse than my dad. That was an unfair statement, though. To my dad. Not to you. When I said you're worse than most dads, it still holds true. As long as you don't block me from sending you emails, I won't stop saying it. 

 

Anyway, it's almost two years now isn't it? Since I've started sending you emails. That's fucking wild. Not gonna lie, I thought I was gonna stop sending you emails after the Touya incident. But things happen and new discoveries arise. Touya now comes to Sunday brunches without even an invite. Shouto always has a place on the table just for him even when he doesn't show up. I guess he's earned it. After all, he was the one who helped us with all that fucking paperwork. 

 

I never really saw the purpose of telling you about my family because this whole thing is about your son. But looking back to a few emails, I talked about myself half the time too so it should be the natural progression of topics, right? 

 

Wrong. 

 

Believe it or not, I don't want to tell you about my family. I want to keep them away from your thoughts. I may have taken the responsibility of telling you all about Shouto's fantastic life and how it feels to love and be loved by him, but my family is a different story. 

 

I am under no obligation to show you how a family should treat each other. 

 

I'd be a little bit of a hypocrite if I did. I have the upper hand when it comes to being your son's significant other but until I'm a father myself, I can't honestly dictate to you how a family should run.

 

I can only tell you my opinions on the things you've already done. And the things you've done are not pretty by any standard. 

 

Can I tell you how to be a better father? No. I'm not a father. But what I can tell you is that, after hearing every detail of Shouto's life with you as his father, I will never be the type of father you were to him. I will never raise a hand to my child when they've done nothing wrong. I will never tell them that he's broken or beyond saving. I will never create an environment that forces them to compete with their siblings or friends. 

 

And I will never kick my child out of the house for being different. 

 

The things you've done are things I'll never do. Shouto has suffered enough and deserves to have a family, his own family, that will love him for who he is. For the person he exactly is. No ifs, ands, or buts. 

 

It's what Shouto deserves more than anything. It's what our future child deserves too. 

 

You'll never hear about my mom or dad. I choose to keep those things private. You might be thinking that it's a little too late for absolute privacy in these emails when I've shown you so much. But remember: I control this situation. I can just as easily stop telling you about Shouto's life and I'm willing to bet nobody else will be willing to do this for you. 

 

Before you ask, no Shouto still doesn't know I send you these. And honestly? I'm not that scared if he finds out. Shouto and I trust each other to do what we believe is right. There is still that question of whether or not I should be doing this in the first place. 

 

But if Shouto can still find it in his heart to forgive you, I can at least try to see it his way. 

 

Me choosing to send you emails despite these doubts is in no way forgiveness, however. Let me make things perfectly fucking clear. I don't forgive you. I said this in the very first email but I'm saying it once again in case you forgot. Me telling you all about Shouto's amazing life is not me saying that you should hop on back in. No. Shouto doesn't deserve a dad who decides to be a fucking decent father right only when he's successful. I don't want Shouto to have a fair weather father. Or a father who pretends to care. 

 

Because if you cared in the first place, you wouldn't have thrown him out of the house at all. 

 

So, tread carefully, old man. I will never forgive you. My forgiveness is not so easily given. You have to rightfully earn it and you're walking on thin ice with me. So watch your fucking step. 

 

Later

Katsuki

P.S. In your dreams

 

May 9, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: pre-wedding jitters

 

So, tomorrow is our wedding. 

 

I've spent every day of my life the past few months location scouting, sending out invitations, tasting wedding cakes, and generally just being absolutely stressed about the day I'll finally be able to call Shouto my husband. I wasn't the marrying type. Commitment used to scare me after Deku and that other guy. But there is absolutely no one else in the world I'd rather marry than Shouto Todoroki. 

 

By the way, he's going to be taking my last name. 

 

That's right. From tomorrow onwards, Shouto Todoroki will be Shouto Bakugou . It's actually fucking insane seeing it written down like that. I'm personally staring at it every other second while typing this email. We had an extensive discussion on whose last name we will be taking as a couple because that's what healthy couples do. We communicate. 

 

I was fine with being called a Todoroki. Touya teased me that he's gonna have another little brother anyway, so why not just take the last name? There was also the option of hyphenating our names. Todoroki-Bakugou or Bakugou-Todoroki, however, didn't sound quite as good. It's a bit of a mouthful and with the direction our own individual careers are going, we would like to keep our names as short as possible for easier public consumption. I was already down with being called a Todoroki. It rolls off the tongue, you know? Katsuki Todoroki . It even rhymes like a cheesy fucking love song. 

 

But Shouto said he wanted my last name. 

 

You wanna know why? 

 

It's been years since we actually seriously discussed you and I had an inkling when he said he wanted to take my last name. But I didn't want to interrupt him or go ahead of him. Because I was okay with whatever, it ultimately became Shouto's choice. Whatever he wanted, I would go with it in a heartbeat because I trust him. I trust Shouto 'till the ends of this earth. I'd die for this man and that's not even an exaggeration. 

 

So when he told me the reason he wanted my last name, I couldn't even muster up enough energy to feign shock. 

 

He didn't want to be a Todoroki anymore. He wanted to erase this association to your name from his life permanently. 

 

Do you see that, Enji? I couldn't even make this up if I tried. Those words came out of your son's mouth. Although… I don't think I should call him that anymore. Your former son? Ex-son? Either way, it was Shouto himself who chose to never associate his name with you ever again. He may have forgiven you, may have pushed his traumatic past aside and found peace, and may have created a wonderful life filled with people who love him, but he explicitly stated:

 

I don't want him to be part of my life anymore. 

 

So tomorrow, he'll erase your name from his legal documents. You will no longer be tied to him by your last name. Once he says I do, he'll be free of the shackles of your name and begin a new chapter as Shouto Bakugou. 

 

Doesn't that hurt you? Isn't it painful to hear your own flesh and blood forever denounce you from his life? He's kept your last name as a reminder of who he once was for the longest time. The haunting memories that came with hearing Todoroki still cloud his mind every now and then. He has rejected your name and in doing so, has officially rejected you as his father. 

 

Surreal isn't it? Has it sunk in yet that you lost another son? Do you regret the day you called him a faggot? Does his pleading stare as you kicked him to the curb ever haunt your dreams at night? Has it finally occurred to you that when you push people away, they will only ever prove to you that your stake in their lives will one day be severely broken?

 

I believe the second Shouto decided to denounce your name was that moment for him.

 

He's achieved so much in this short lifetime and yet his achievements are locked down primarily by the ugly reminder that you still share a name. Tomorrow onwards is a new chapter. Tomorrow onwards is the start of a whole new fucking book in the infinite series that is my life with Shouto. 

 

And I am so happy that he will be a Bakugou. Because it means that he is free from you. 

 

I think you're wondering why Touya is still allowed in his life. Touya left your abusive household for his own good. He saw you for who you were and made the extremely difficult decision to leave his siblings behind for a better life. Shouto never knew him until last year and you should see how they interact. It's like Shouto has a part of his life brought back to him, one that was taken because you chased Touya away from his life. It was far easier to forgive someone he didn't know, yet was given the opportunity now, than someone he knew for a good chunk of his life and threw him away. 

 

Just to make it clear, you already have Shouto's forgiveness. He's forgiven you a long time ago. Up to you if you want to accept that. But his forgiveness will not necessarily mean a one way ticket back into his life. 

 

So, I hope you weren't expecting an invitation to our wedding this whole time. If it already isn't clear, we don't want you anywhere near us. 

 

Regards

Katsuki

P.S. Try again

 

May 20, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: the happy couple

 

Well, Enji? I guess this is my first official email to you as a married man. I've got the ring and the countless wedding and honeymoon pictures to prove it. I'd have sent you pictures a little earlier but our honeymoon was no phones allowed. Shouto's rule. He wanted us to savor the moment and everything. I was allowed two cameras though so I have a fuckload of pictures to show you. 

 

I thought finally saying that I have a husband would be surreal. Like this is actually my life now? But when I introduced Shouto as my husband to some people in my studio, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Boyfriend, fiance, partner, soulmate, god nothing really compared to calling Shouto my actual fucking husband. And Shouto isn't any better either. He takes every opportunity to introduce me as his husband, even to people we already know

 

Hi, have you met my husband? Grammy award winning, multi-platinum record holder, most gorgeous man alive, Katsuki Bakugou? 

 

(I kid you not, that's his whole introductory spiel. I can't even be mad at him for it because my spiel is even longer . I can't fucking lose to that.) 

 

But now that honeymoon season is over, it's back to work for us. Honestly, during the last few days of our honeymoon, we were working on a few passion projects together. That's our definition of a vacation, I guess. Over the course of the final legs of our honeymoon, we actually wrote a few songs together. Enough for a mini-album, in fact. And holy fucking shit is he good with words. Like, the man studied to be a poet/writer/analyst/literature junkee but sometimes I'm more than a little amazed at some of the stuff he can come up with. His brain is truly magnificent and the lyrics he wrote for the songs we made were, for lack of an even better word, beautiful. Beautiful doesn't even cover how spectacular Shouto's lyrics are. 

 

And god, Shouto surprised me again when he said he's ready to sing for an album.

 

That's probably another thing you didn't know about him. Did you know that Shouto could sing? Shouto's voice has a magical quality to it that I can't even begin to describe. I asked him if he ever wanted to be a singer after the first time I heard him sing along to one of my songs. All he did was smile and say I would only sing for you. 

 

Honestly, volunteering himself to sing a song for my next album is his own way of still singing for me. Yes, more people are going to bear witness to Shouto's siren-like voice but he's doing this for me. Even if no one else will like the song, even if it's hailed as my worst song released, I'm positive that it will soon be my favorite. 

 

(Right after Shouto. The Shouto song will still be my ultimate favorite for obvious reasons.)

 

So, expect a new mini-album sometime this year featuring Shouto on the title track. I'll perform it at every benefit, every concert, and every fucking brunch invite for all I care. As long as I have Shouto there singing it with me. 

 

Do you think his fans will implode when they finally hear him sing? I might actually end up murdering an entire population of 20-something aspiring poets after I release that song. And Shouto will deny ever being complicit in that murder, the cheeky little shit. 

 

But anyway, that's where we are right now and things are definitely looking up. This is my first project where I'm working with Shouto side-by-side rather than being associated. Our first team effort, so to speak. The world is not ready for it. 

 

That's it for now. I sent you a google drive folder of some of my favorite pictures from our wedding and honeymoon. I picked too many, that's why it's in a drive. Take note of how happy Shouto looks in each and every one of them. 

 

Think about the last time you ever saw Shouto that happy in your despicable excuse for a home. 

 

Newlyweds Masterdrive

 

Sincerely (?) I'm running out of this shit

Katsuki

P.S. Maybe next year. Or something. 

June 5, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: family reunions

 

So remember when Touya came back?

 

It seems the Todoroki sibling hive mind still works after years of being apart. Because wouldn’t you like to know what happened last week? It makes me kind of glad that I never had any siblings. The absolute drama that ensued is something that I don’t think I would have been able to handle by myself. 

 

Summary: Fuyumi and Natsuo moved into the apartment across from us.

 

You do remember your two middle children right? They were probably your most obedient kids if the way Shouto practically slammed the door in their faces said anything about it. He wasn’t like this with Touya. He let the almost stranger into his house without question (and now we have a maybe mafia boss offering every now and then to house sit). 

 

But with his two other siblings, it seems there’s a little bit more… resentment? I’ve never seen Shouto that angry at anyone before. Sure, we’ve had fights. We’ve had arguments that stretched for days on end. There was even a moment in time where I was afraid that we didn’t love each other enough because of those fights. But we always made up, always talked out our frustrations, and assured each other that the anger came from a place of love and care for one another.

 

Shouto’s anger towards Fuyumi and Natsuo, however? It’s like a furnace ready to explode. 

 

(The cookies Fuyumi made are still on our doorstep. I’m gonna have to clear those away before they start to rot.)

 

I understand where Shouto is coming from, though. He grew up with the two of them. After Touya left, Fuyumi was the eldest and Natsuo was his only brother now. They promised sibling solidarity no matter what, especially when their mother was taken away too. Shouto trusted them and confided in them. Whatever was going to happen to them at the hands of their father, they would protect each other. 

 

So, the tears Shouto cried into my chest when he said that they didn’t do anything when he was kicked out of the house were, in my humble opinion, completely justified. 

 

But Shouto, sweet and kind Shouto, knew that they couldn’t have done anything without being kicked out too. They chose to save themselves and my god did Shouto understand that. He understood that too well. He understands it so much that it hurts. Yet, when he saw them again, smiling at him as if the past decade never happened, it broke him.

 

As much as Shouto wants to pretend that nothing happened, his heart simply can’t forgive them as quickly as he did Touya or you. Imagine that? Shouto easily forgave you and finds it difficult to forgive the siblings he grew up with. And I get it. Despite him understanding where they were coming from, the underlying betrayal that was not doing anything for him when they promised to protect each other is still a wound Shouto hasn’t found the time to treat.

 

So I let him cry until he couldn’t anymore. I let him yell curses into the air, interspersed with Fuyumi and Natsuo’s names, until his throat went hoarse. I’ve gone to therapy enough to know that Shouto needs to feel his anger. Needs to feel his pain. Because those emotions are valid and real. Shouto is overwhelmingly kind and always thinks of others before himself, but letting him feel the catharsis that only expressing his anger towards his siblings could give him, it’s the first step towards truly moving forward.

 

Moving forward. Never moving on.

 

I don’t think Shouto has really moved on from the abuse he experienced in your household. Ten years later and my baby still has nightmares from time to time. Less frequent, but still there. Both of us are still trying to live despite our traumas. That’s why I think Shouto is so brave. He channels a lot of his traumas, heartbreak, and sorrow into his writing.

 

To be so publicly vulnerable through a flick of his pen is bravery beyond anything you could ever imagine.

 

And yet, to be privately vulnerable is Shouto’s true strength.

 

I love him. More than words can ever express. And it pains me to see him cry. But I know that letting him cry helps him reinforce his humanity. That he is not a robot perfectly manufactured for the Todoroki legacy. He is not a puppet for anyone to use and pull on his strings. His tears are a healthy reminder that he has a heart, a big one , that is so eager to love because he never wants people to feel the way he once did.

 

Vulnerability is not a weakness, Enji. I hope by now you understand that. 

 

I don’t know what’s going to happen with Fuyumi and Natsuo being our neighbors. I don’t know what happened for them to move across from us out of nowhere. Is it safe to assume that you had something to do with it, Enji? You’ve chased away the last two kids you had, didn’t you? I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case.

 

How empty is your home now? Is it lonely?

 

Regards

Katsuki

P.S. Don’t. It really isn’t the time.

 

June 25, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: family reunions 2: electric boogaloo

 

It’s been roughly two or three weeks since Fuyumi and Natsuo became our neighbors. It’s been a pretty fucking weird few weeks. 

 

Shouto still refuses to talk to them right now. And Fuyumi still leaves cookies at our doorstep. I think I even saw Natsuo just staring at our door when I came home late from work. It’s… a lot to process right now, not gonna lie. How do you interact with your husband’s siblings when your husband only acknowledges Touya as his only sibling right now?

 

Don’t get me wrong, Shouto has every right to be angry at them. Hell, I’m fucking angry at them too. But we don’t share a history. I literally don’t know anything about them. Shouto opened up to me about the things you’ve done after a year but he never talked about his siblings in detail. Maybe it was still too painful for him to remember.

 

Remember when I talked about Shouto’s Good days? He hasn’t been having them lately. Ever since the reappearance of Shouto’s other siblings, his Bad days are more abundant. Even his nightmares are becoming more frequent.

 

Enji… I’m worried. 

 

He’s going back to his unhealthy sleep schedule. He waits for me at work because he doesn’t want to enter our apartment without me. He’s been eating less and it seems like every small noise makes him jump. I’m taking him to see his therapist tomorrow so he can make sense of everything right now. But I don’t think that’s gonna be enough. 

 

I contacted Touya the other day to talk to Fuyumi and Natsuo as the man has no problem suddenly talking to estranged siblings. He hasn’t updated me yet and I can’t go to his apartment to ask. I’ll probably take him aside during Sunday brunch. Touya is infamously known for not answering his texts or calls right away. Unless it’s Shouto calling him. He answers the phone with lightning speed if it’s his baby brother. I’m technically his baby brother-in-law, why doesn’t he answer my calls that fast?

 

(Once again, I’m eternally grateful that I am an only child. Sibling drama just seems so taxing.)

 

Anyway, our lives are sort of at a standstill right now. We’re living comfortably on royalties at the moment and Shouto’s been itching to apply for his PhD already. I overheard him talking on the phone to universities every now and then. I guess it keeps his mind busy when it’s not worrying over his siblings across the hall. He’s been looking into schools abroad too. His wanderlust hasn’t died down just yet and at least he has something to look forward to.

 

That’s pretty much it. I don’t fucking know how else to end this right now but I just hope Shouto doesn’t go insane. If worse comes to worst, I’ve already looked into buying another house in a different neighborhood. 

 

God help us

Katsuki

P.S. Of course not, shit for brains. Did you really need a postscript to tell you not to?

 

July 3, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: part of the family

 

Against my better judgement, I baked Fuyumi and Natsuo a pie. 

 

Now, I’d just like to clarify that it was not my idea to bake those guys a pie. Especially since my pies are to die for and it’s a fucking privilege to eat even a single slice of my maple crusted apple pie. I don’t usually flaunt my baking skills, as it usually only comes out on birthdays and holidays. So, baking something for my husband’s not-quite-his-siblings-right-now is way out of what I normally do.

 

But this is for Shouto. I do things I don’t normally do as long as he asks. Within reason. I’m not eating a scorpion or something even if he pulls the puppy dog eyes. I’ve been with this man for six years now, those heterochromatic eyes are only 80% effective. (Yes, the percentage is still high. Don’t say a single fucking thing about it.)

 

Oh and it also wasn’t Shouto’s idea to bake this pie. It was Deku’s. 

 

After a visit to Shouto’s therapist and our own couple’s counsellor, we (Shouto, really) were reassured that we had no obligation to make amends with Shouto’s siblings. If Shouto’s mental health is even more compromised within the next few weeks, my suggestion to move to another house was to be heavily considered. However, Shouto didn’t want to move. Not yet. And because this entire situation depends on Shouto’s next actions, I said nothing about it.

 

I did ask him though if, sometime in the near future, he’d actually want to talk to his siblings. Not necessarily to make amends but to just find out why the fuck they’re here in the first place. Touya actually updated me a few days after I sent you that last email saying that he was just as much in the dark about why they were here as much as we were. It seems he’s about as comfortable about this situation as we are. 

 

Even though Touya’s version of having a talk with his brother and sister was to punch Natsuo square in the jaw. Fuyumi only invited him in the apartment to help tend to him. It was kind of funny, actually. You should have seen the look on Natsuo’s face. It was like he saw a ghost before Touya landed that mean uppercut.

 

Shouto didn’t like that his brother resorted to violence but the small smile on his face when he saw Natsuo’s bruised jaw was kind of worth it. He scolded Touya right after, though. I’ll send a meme here to help you visualize how hilarious it looked like to have Shouto scold his older brother. I hope you know what a fucking meme is, old man. I’m not in the mood to tell you so google it. 

 

Now, why did Deku suggest baking one of my best pies for the two living across the hall? His reasoning was that it can be a peace offering. Apparently baked goods are some sort of universal language for mutual understanding or whatever. I love Deku, I really do, but sometimes he’s such a water sign. 

 

Shouto actually agreed with him. It was a bit of a shock considering how possessive of my baked goods my husband is. Apparently, he called his therapist yesterday and asked him how he should go about interacting with his siblings. For that, I’m actually not that surprised. Despite this whole shitshow, he still chooses to be the person who moves forward. 

 

He’s done so for the past ten years. He said he wanted to set an example for his siblings that living away from you is probably the best decision they’ve ever made. He didn’t want them to regret running away. But he won’t apologize for his initial reaction. He wants to make it clear that he had, and still has the right to be mad at them. He’s allowed to feel betrayed and almost disgusted that they only reached out to him at a time in his life where the Good Days were starting to outweigh the Bad.

 

He understood them on a weird familial level but he needed to understand them as the people they are now. Not as the siblings who stood and watched as you kicked him out of the house. He has this image of them from a life he left behind a long time ago. He’s giving them a chance to show him that they’re people worthy of being a part of his new life. 

 

I know I’ve said this before but my husband truly amazes me sometimes with his impressive capacity to forgive anyone. 

 

Even though they weren’t the ones who abused him as a kid, them standing idly by and not doing anything especially when they grew up to become adults was unacceptable. Shouto knew that. He wants them to know that too. That there were a numerous amount of things they could have done the second they turned 18 yet they didn’t. 

 

It’s not as severe as what you did to him but not doing anything is allowing the evil to continue. They let it happen even when they became adults. Shouto wants them to be held accountable even if we’re visiting their apartment with a pie. They’d better appreciate the damn pie. It’s hard to find good maple syrup in Tokyo. If we don’t leave their apartment with them begging to know the recipe, I will have considered that visit a massive failure. 

 

Stay tuned for updates I guess. Besides, with all your children having flown out of your metaphorical nest, I’m your only source of information about your family now, right?

 

Guess you can’t afford to block me now, huh?

 

Sincerely (I hate this. I’ll just sign with my name from the next one)

Katsuki

P.S. Not a chance.

 

July 9, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: cookies, pie, and tentative invites

 

This wouldn’t be the first time I question your ability in raising children but it certainly is the first time I’ve said to myself wow, Enji you really fucked up in being a decent fucking dad, huh? 

 

That shit’s really a given. Your eldest son ran away, you kicked out your youngest son for being gay, and your two middle children took years before they realized huh, maybe we should leave our shitty dad behind? Not to mention your wife… Do you even want me to mention your wife? Well, your kids certainly didn’t say anything about her a few days ago.

 

The whole pie and cookies exchange thing went about as well as one could hope. Watching them from a distance was like seeing the beginning of a bad joke. Four estranged siblings walk into a bar sort of awkwardness. There were some pleasantries exchanged, eye contact avoided, and a whole lot of pie consumed because no one in your damn gene pool knows how to communicate properly except for Shouto. 

 

This whole thing wouldn’t have been possible if Shouto didn’t initiate it. Sure, Fuyumi was the first one to reach out with her plate of cookies, but her timing was way off. You see your kid brother again after a decade and you think you can just waltz right back into his life like that? Shouto screamed into her face as much that first time. There’s a lot less screaming involved in this awkward family reunion. Like a cancelled re-run of the Brady Bunch. With a lot more trauma. And pie. 

 

Shouto spoke the whole time, with a few clarifications from Natsuo or Fuyumi, and the occasional grunt from Touya. (Mostly because he was busy eating half the pie, that fucking heathen.) Shouto laid out some ground rules. It was kind of hot seeing him take the lead like that. It must have shocked Natsuo and Fuyumi to see their baby brother like this. (Well. They didn’t bother updating themselves. Imagine Shouto’s immense sadness at that little tidbit.)

 

After everything was said and done, including Shouto voicing out all his past frustrations and clarifying that he’s forgiven them despite his anger, he introduced himself again. He reached out his hand towards his sister, formal and distant, and introduced himself as Shouto Bakugou. Their next door neighbor. I think Fuyumi cried a bit. 

 

I think it’s a little harder for Fuyumi to grasp that trust isn’t so easily given back. She sees Shouto as her baby. She raised him when their mother was sent away. I bet it hurts to see your baby brother introduce himself as a stranger when you’ve spent a good chunk of your lives together. But I hope she’ll understand eventually what he’s trying to do. 

 

Shouto’s giving them a fresh start. A clean slate. 

 

I think that’s a whole lot better than completely shunning them. 

 

Don’t get me wrong! He has every right to cut them out of his life. He had that choice with Touya. He had that choice with you. Yet, he chose forgiveness in the form of letting them get to know him as who he is now. He’s no longer Shouto Todoroki, the helpless closeted kid with a bleak future of corporate law and loan sharks. 

 

He’s Shouto Bakugou, an amazing husband, role model, and successful artist of his own merit.

 

And he’s giving them a chance to be part of his new life. Not as ghosts of his past, but as genuine friends.

 

Natsuo was the first to shake his hand, introducing himself as just Natsuo. Without the Todoroki. Fuyumi followed suit shortly after she wiped her tears away. Touya broke the tension by telling them to eat more pie because they’re too skinny. Shouto’s laugh was beautiful at that moment. It’s a sound that signifies a new beginning for all of them. 

 

They all managed to finish the pie. Fuyumi begged for the recipe before we left and Shouto was the one to suggest she come over and have me teach her. I didn’t exactly have a say in all that but with both of them looking at me with identical puppy dog eyes? I couldn’t stand a chance. I could avoid it most of the time when it’s just Shouto but two of them? That’s not fair at all.

 

I mostly did it for Shouto anyway. It was worth it to see him sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks.

 

The two of them are not invited to Sunday Brunch yet, though. They’ve gotta earn that spot on the dinner table. And they can’t bring over any food from my personal stash of recipes. Deku tried that once and he ate out on the balcony. I take my Sunday Brunch fucking seriously. 

 

So, you can say that things are comfortable at the moment. Not okay. But comfortable. Without this distraction, Shouto is now more focused on finding the perfect school to get his PhD. Plus our album. We had to put the production of that on hold but starting tomorrow, album production featuring Shouto’s kickass voice will be in full swing. Make sure to buy it when it hits the shelves, old man! 

 

Things are looking up, old man. Things are looking up. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. Not when things are comfortable. Don’t ruin it.

 

August 10, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: resurfacing

 

So, I’ve got some pretty big news. 

 

Is that why you’re emailing me at 2am again? You must be thinking. And well… It’s partly the reason. Another is that I literally just got home and my brain is still buzzing. I usually sleep as early as I can but insomnia decided to kick in today. Guess you’re the lucky recipient to my early morning anxieties. I could wake up Shouto but he’s had a long day. 

 

Anyway. Yeah, the news. Sorry… I’m a little out of it. I know it’s only been a few months since I married Shouto and I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Before you ask yourself, no I’m not thinking of leaving him. That’s the last thing I want. It’s a little similar to when I went on that tour. Do you remember that story? The nightmares? The almost show cancellation?

 

The abandonment issues?

 

Well, Shouto texted me that he’s heavily considering a University abroad for his PhD. He said we should talk about it in the morning, which should be in a few hours. I don’t know how long he’ll be away. At most, he’ll be gone for a year. 

 

Are you… Are you getting this? Do I have to spell it out?

 

I know I said last time that a video call suffices nowadays, especially during times when it absolutely cannot be helped. But this one is a little more severe than Shouto living in Kamino for his master summer classes. If he decides to really go abroad for this PhD, I have to think of timezones and all that shit. So, I’m pretty fucking terrified of Shouto leaving for that long.

 

I’ll talk to him about this. We always talk about our anxieties and fears. But there’s always that little splash of guilt in me, ya know? We’ve been together for six years now. My scars from past relationships have mostly healed. It shouldn’t be this hard to voice out this concern, right?

 

Brace yourself, old man. I guess this 2am session is about my history of bad decisions.

 

Remember when I said that I broke up with Deku at graduation? Well, I didn’t go to college after that. I immediately went for a record label. I was alone. My old band had other plans to get bachelor’s degrees, see the world, all that stuff. So, I went scouting for music companies to take me in. It didn’t take very long because my high school music resume was impeccable. 

 

UA Records signed me right off the bat. It was an easy decision, really. They offered the most benefits and their policies were always people centered. They treated their employees, staff, and artists humanely and I’m all about that shit. I released my first album with them and I got a grammy nom for that. I was catapulted to superstar status at the ripe age of 18. 

 

I think you can start to see where this is going. Bear with me, I’ve been through a lot. 

 

Because of my sudden rise in popularity, I got collab deals left and right. I was invited to rager after rager. When the label marketed me as a singer/songwriter, up and coming artists wanted my name on their albums. It was insane for the first year of my career. With that success, there came the casual flings and one night stands. I was still kinda unfairly hung up on Deku so I didn’t let anything get past sex.

 

And it was great. No strings attached meant I could protect my heart— the heart that only knew how to love Deku at the time. If I let anybody else past my walls, that meant I was ready to admit that I didn’t love Deku anymore. Now, I can safely say that I still love him, just in a different way. But I didn’t understand that at the time. I was a teenager drunk on the power that platinum records and grammy nominations gave me. 

 

I didn’t have the time to fall in love.

 

Or so I thought.

 

His name was Neito Monoma. 

 

He was an up and coming ballad singer recently signed by UA records in my second year in the industry. He practically worshipped the ground I walked on and I really basked in all his praise. In hindsight, it should have been a red flag from the start. But I was weak. I was starting to get fed up with all the people who only slept with me to gloat that they fucked Japan’s favorite rockstar. 

 

Monoma was a man who genuinely wanted to get to know me. He was a big fan and asked about my process but he was… a friend. At the time, I was only able to talk to my old highschool friends through Iida (who was able to juggle being my manager and a university student. The guy’s a fucking beast.) so I didn’t make many genuine friends in the industry. I had the likes of Taylor Swift, Chance the Rapper, and the members of Burnout Syndromes in my contacts but our text threads are about collaborations. Never about getting a drink because we feel like it. 

 

Monoma gave me a normalcy that I forgot about. He would show up unannounced on my doorstep with the entire Lord of the Rings series on DVD and demand we have a movie night at that exact moment. He would text me good morning and good night. He’d genuinely give compliments or constructive criticism on tracks I’ve worked on. He was a friend. A companion. A sliver of light when I felt darkness consume me every now and then. 

 

I grew dependent on him. Eventually we started dating despite my no strings attached rule. I shouldn’t have given him my strings in the first place because he played me like a puppet. When he finally held my heart in his hands… he changed. His sunshiny disposition was immediately replaced with one of constant annoyance. He stopped his spontaneous movie nights and good morning texts. I should have stopped it when the shift started, right?

 

I should have. But I didn’t. Because I was foolish enough to fall in love with him. 

 

I was in love with him, Enji. How fucked up is that? Looking back, I realize I was in love with the image of happiness he projected. I confided in him that even with all the money, the adoring fans, and the sold out concerts, I wasn’t happy. He took advantage of that and I fucking fell for it. I latched onto him even when it was obvious that he was already prying my fingers off one by one. 

 

I officially ended it when I saw him in our bed with another rockstar. 

 

It was all a blur, really. I didn’t scream or cry. I just… accepted it. I accepted the fact that maybe I was really that unlovable. That I wasn’t worthy of the words I love you. That Monoma fell out of love with me when he probably never actually loved me in the first place. I let him sleep in my bed for the last time as I packed his things and waited for him to wake up.

 

Maybe I should have burned his things instead. 

 

He eventually signed with another record label and I never saw him again. He never really made it as a ballad singer and sort of faded into the background. I think that was God’s sense of humor. It’s comforting to know that God and I have something in common. Despite all my sins, I guess, He’s got my back. 

 

After that whole fiasco with Monoma, that’s when Deku called me for a collaboration. You know what happened after that. 

 

I still had a few flings in the year before I met Shouto. I had a rebound after Monoma that lasted a couple months too but that’s a story for another time. That rebound… he’s almost on the same level of special as Deku was. Almost. I ended it before things got really serious. Abandonment Anxiety, remember? I didn’t want either of us to get hurt. 

 

Sometimes, I wonder where he is. I hope he’s happy.

 

God, fuck, it’s like 4am now and Shouto will wake up in an hour. We’re supposed to go morning jogging today but I think talking about my resurfacing anxiety about him leaving me is more of a priority. I’ll end this here so that I can still get about an hour of shut eye.

 

Thanks for reading this. You’re not my therapist but I just wanted to let you know that making these emails has actually helped me. A lot. I won’t go into specifics. Figure that out on your own.

 

Thanks anyway.

 

Katsuki

P.S. Nice try, buddy.

 

August 11, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: kitty vlog

 

I have updates about my talk with Shouto, I promise. But I think I still need a few more days to articulate everything. 

 

So, in lieu of the next installment of the lives of the newlywed Bakugous, I’ll be sending you a video of our kitten growing up. I didn’t really update you on our cat because I don’t know if you deserved a glimpse of our perfect little fucking princess. I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to watch our fur child grow up but Shouto filmed way too many videos of her that it would be a crime not to share. 

 

She’s an adorable little shit. Her name is Tsuki because she has a little spot of white fur on her forehead that looks like a crescent moon. She kinda looks like the cat from Sailor Moon. (What? That show’s fucking good.) I had to stop Shouto from naming it Soba. His obsession with that dish should not be a burden our beautiful little princess carries. Shouto didn’t mind anyway, he fell in love with the cat faster than he fell in love with me.

 

(I don’t blame him. Tsuki is the most perfect cat ever. We raised her so that’s a fucking given.)

 

Anyway, this is the video. The cuteness could melt even your stone cold heart.

 

Katsuki

P.S. Just watch the cat video. I don’t need your comments.

 

August 14, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: conversations

 

Shouto and I talked. 

 

It was a very long conversation and I think it would have been futile if it wasn’t so long. He said he did consider how this would affect our relationship. In fact, that was at the top of his priority list. I have to admit, there was a part of me that felt guilty. It’s like I was holding him back from getting the education he deserves, you know? If my abandonment issues weren’t so potent, would he have just gone for university abroad?

 

I have a lot of insecurities, old man. Contrary to what the rest of the world thinks of me, I hide a lot of things I’m not proud of. As a public figure, I have an image to maintain. Although, I’ve gotten better at not giving a fuck what others think of me, I’m well-established with the image I have now. The no-nonsense songwriter who is the face of LGBTQ rockstars in Japan: that’s who Bakugou Katsuki is to the world.

 

But what the world doesn’t know is that I absolutely hate being alone.

 

When Deku first taught me how to love, I didn’t know anymore how it felt to be completely alone. Not until we broke up. I isolated myself from my friends because I didn’t think I was worthy of any love, platonic or romantic. Even if I hated being alone, I felt that loneliness was a punishment of mine because I was so unlovable. 

 

I voiced this out to him, the insecurities and fears that still plague my mind, and he just… held me. That beautiful son of a bitch knew exactly what I needed at that moment. He knew that it was, and still is, extremely difficult for me to admit my vulnerabilities. Which is something that he had to slowly learn how to do too. He understood the struggle of opening up, giving your heart to someone, and trusting them to take care of it.

With my history of heartbreak, giving myself fully to Shouto was a difficult decision. It took me months to realize that I should give this a shot. Give us a shot. That Shouto was nothing like Monoma. That Shouto went through his own series of heart shattering experiences. If Shouto came out of his hell-like journey and found heaven in the two of us together, what’s the harm in trying it out?

 

Years later, I married him. Good thing I tried it out, huh?

 

But even with the literal stability that is our marriage, both of us still have a lot of ghosts that haunt us. I’m sure you’re aware of that by now. When Fuyumi and Natsuo first moved in across from us, Shouto had a nightmare about the day you kicked him out. It’s been years since he’s had that specific nightmare. Now, with the very real possibility that Shouto will be in another country for a year lurking around, the dark intrusive thoughts are crawling back into my mind. 

 

Shouto said he still had options here in Japan that are just as promising. Some that are even a train ride away. But… I told him to still apply for the one abroad. He had his eyes on London, he’s always loved stories set in England. Plus, if there was anywhere he should get a Literary Arts PhD, I think that’s the perfect place to go. For now he’s got his top three. The one in London and two here in Japan.

 

I told him that I shouldn’t be the one holding him back. But the kind motherfucker said I only ever push him to be his best. He’ll make his decision in a week. Whatever school he chooses, we’ll make it work. We have plans A through Z. Besides, he still has that album he’s making with me so I won’t let him go until he’s sung on stage with me. He’s determined to see that through first before applying. 

 

If he does go for university abroad, he made me promise to see my therapist regularly so that I have someone else to talk to about my abandonment anxiety. I one-upped him and said I’ll even talk to Deku more. Touya too if he’s up for 2am drunk crying sessions of me missing his baby brother. Shouto’s laugh was so worth it after that. 

 

Am I still terrified? Fuck yeah, I am. But I trust him and he trusts me. For now, that’s what matters. We’re going to make it work. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. No

 

August 20, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: passport stamps

 

It’s official. Shouto will be taking a PhD in Creative Writing in King’s College, London. 

 

The good news is that he can actually take one semester onsite and another online so he technically won’t be gone for more than five months. That’s a little easier to handle than one year. Besides, he’ll be doing the final dissertation mostly off-site anyway so he can technically be writing it at home. At least I can breathe a little easier knowing I don’t have to wait as long.

 

Oh, I’ll still be seeing my therapist regularly. Five months is still a long time. It’s more manageable but even the thought awakens the slightest bit of anxiety. It’s better if my therapist hears about that right away so he can help me. No, I won’t fucking tell you who my therapist is. But I can give you a list of therapists for anger management. I’ll attach it to this email for your humble perusal. 

 

Anyway, Shouto won’t leave until next month because his first semester doesn’t start until the third week of September. Thank God I nagged Shouto into getting our passports renewed earlier this year. King’s College was so fucking excited to have him they helped arrange his visa, lodging, allowance, and everything else. Shouto barely had to lift a finger. There are a lot of benefits with having a best-selling poet as a husband.

 

Shouto actually asked me if I could be there for him in his first week of school. Don’t worry, Deku is cat sitting Tsuki. Fuyumi also volunteered to catsit when he’s too busy. It’s her way of proving to Shouto she can be part of his life without forcing herself too much onto him. They’re slowly getting to know each other again. It’s nice to watch their relationship develop from broken to salvageable. They’re getting there, Enji. They’re getting there. 

 

He’s nervous too about being apart from me for so long. I mean, it’s not as bad as me. I’m diagnosed with that shit. At least I’m not alone in this. Shouto’s London apartment conveniently has a big enough bed so I think we’ll be fine for that week anyway. 

 

But when I get back to Japan and he continues with his semester? Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We have contingency plans. They’re mostly so that I’m assured that if anything happened, we know what to do. My therapist actually came up with that idea because I’ve had a history of being wary of major changes and uh commitment. (Remember the first Touya email? Yeah. You get it.)

 

I panicked when I first fell in love with Shouto too. Been six years and he still sometimes puts me into a panic. It’s a good panic. A gay panic! Wait…

 

In other news, our album is about ready to go. We’re gonna go on a mini-tour before Shouto leaves after its release. Once again, I’m not sending you the demos and all that shit. Take out your shiny credit card, Enji! I better see your name on the record.

 

By the way, I actually… did see your name on the record for my last two albums. And for some of my older albums too. Iida showed the data to me and I wasn’t sure if I should say it to you. Wow… you actually bought my stuff. Thanks, old man. I appreciate it, I guess? It was a semi-joke when I said you should just buy the stuff we release but you actually did it. 

 

Weird. But a good kinda weird? I don’t fucking know. I’m still kinda processing it.

 

And no, I don’t know if you bought Shouto’s poetry anthology. He doesn’t really look at his sales data. I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you probably bought at least one of his books. If you did, how’d you find it? 

 

I haven’t asked you questions in a while, huh? You must be relieved.

 

Anyway, the album will be released in two days. Hope to see your name on the sales data. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. Just because I’m grateful you bought my music, it doesn’t mean you get a free pass. 

 

August 22, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: ALBUM RELEASE

 

Buy mine and Shouto’s album (digital version)

 

Buy mine and Shouto’s album (physical stores list)

 

Buy each individual single on Apple Music

 

Stream our songs on Spotify

 

I gave you options :) You’re welcome.

 

Katsuki

P.S. Buy our album and maybe I’ll consider it. 

 

September 5, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Another round of 2am rambling

 

I don’t think I’ll ever apologize for sending you emails at 2am. 

 

You guessed it, old man. I couldn’t sleep. If you’re not already aware, unless my work really calls for late hours, I usually sleep at 8pm. Sharp. But recently, I haven’t been sleeping well and that’s… Well, that’s fucking shitty. I know I said that Shouto leaving for five months is something we can work out, something that we will work out. It’s just… I guess my mind and body aren’t on the same page.

 

I’m telling Shouto all of this when he wakes up and my therapist sometime in the afternoon, don’t worry. (Do you worry? About me? That’d be kinda weird.) I just wanted to lay it all out first, get my thoughts all in one place. Hence the email. 

 

Shouto is leaving in less than two weeks for his first semester at King’s College. The closer we get to the date, the less I’m able to sleep. Sure, I will be there with him in his first week. It’ll feel like a second honeymoon! But on the day that I have to leave? Flying back to Japan alone? Coming home to an empty apartment with only our cat to keep me company?

 

Yeah. I’m not looking forward to that. 

 

It sounds ridiculous and the old me would have called myself stupid for overreacting. My therapist told me not to do that, though. It would make things worse if all I did was blame myself for things out of my control. I’ve gotten better at it in recent years but I still have my off days. Today is one of them. You know what happened to me before. With Deku. With Monoma. With my other casual flings.

 

I don’t take well to being left alone. My intrusive thoughts get louder when I’m left alone too long. It helps when Tsuki, the perfect little princess that she is, sits on my lap or demands that I play with her. But there’s only so much a cat can do for a fucked up human such as myself. She can’t tell when darker thoughts consume me. There are only three people in the whole world who can tell precisely what’s going on through my head at a single glance.

 

My therapist, Deku, and Shouto.

 

(And I guess now you? I don’t know. You’ve never actually seen me in real life besides all the pictures I send you from time to time.)

 

Speaking of my therapist, in our last session yesterday I decided to tell him about these emails. I knew he wouldn’t force me to stop, especially when I told him that writing these emails helps me sometimes. I’ve written you a few emails at weird fucking times and he said that it’s good that I have an outlet. Sending emails to someone who never replies. It’s like talking to a picture on the wall, where I still have the autonomy to take it down whenever I need to.

 

Of course, Shouto still doesn’t know. I do plan on telling him but I don’t know when just yet. Right now, things are still uncertain and these emails are our little secret. Yeah, Shouto and I still keep secrets from each other. There are still a lot of things I don’t know about Shouto’s past life. He told me about Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo, and you. But I know very little about his mom. 

 

I think he does too. 

 

It boils down to trust again. He trusts me enough to understand that there are just some things he can’t tell me. And that’s okay. I have a lot of things I haven’t told him either, these emails being one of them. Eventually, we will or maybe we never will. I will definitely tell him about these emails one day but for now you’re a secret. Why do you think I never let you reply? You have no say in this discussion. You’re here to read quietly, okay? Nothing else. 

 

One of the secrets I’ve been keeping from Shouto until now is about my… rebound. I told him about all my past relationships, casual fling or other, except for this one. Why did I wait this long? Well… It never occurred to me. I thought he really wasn’t that important for me to bring up. But then, I did tell him about even the least important people I’ve dated (including that one time I made out with Kaminari. Not my proudest moment) so why didn’t I tell him about this one?

 

If I’m being perfectly honest? If I never met Shouto, this is the man I probably would have married. 

 

You know those moments where you can picture your whole life with someone? After all the bullshit you went through, finally someone treats you like a decent human being? Like a person worth loving? Worth living for? I thought I felt those things with him. With my rebound.

 

With Hitoshi.

 

I met him shortly after I patched things up again with Deku. His words of letting myself feel the good emotions still echoed in my mind. But the damage Monoma caused was still fresh and the wounds definitely haven’t healed. Hitoshi was just unlucky enough to be the boy who came after him. 

 

He was sassy, intelligent, took no bullshit, and treated me like an equal. He didn’t really know who I was so he got to know me as just Katsuki. The banter was something I was missing when I was dating Monoma. All he did was agree with everything I said or completely ignore me. Hitoshi had enough wits to actually engage me in intelligent conversation. 

 

He was actually studying to become a pediatrician and he volunteered at the local orphanage. I never visited him when he went there and in hindsight I probably should have. I did donate a percentage of my sales to that orphanage about a few weeks after I broke things off with him. I guess to show him that I cared? I don’t know. 

 

I never moved in with him and he never moved in with me. That was actually the reason I decided to just end things. When he suggested we should start living together, I panicked. That was when Monoma started to change. My brain was telling me Hitoshi was going to change too. I didn’t want him to carry with him an image of me that was unlovable so I stopped things before they got way too serious.

 

At first, he didn’t really understand. He thought I was just not interested in him anymore. But I told him about Monoma and what Deku told me and he actually… understood. I think he was sad? I was sad too because Hitoshi was genuinely a good match for me but we both agreed that I wasn’t emotionally ready for a committed relationship just yet. 

 

He was the right person at the wrong time. 

 

I’m bringing him up now because the last time I heard from Hitoshi was him telling me that he’s moving to London to finish his residency there.

 

London. 

 

As far as I know, Hitoshi is still in London. I’m telling Shouto about him later because there is a very real chance that we might bump into him. It’s a slim chance. An extremely slim chance. But it’s still a glaring possibility. This is the only relationship I never told Shouto about so once I put it out there, hopefully it won’t be as awkward if we do meet him in London. Or maybe Shouto will end up meeting him when I’m not there anymore.

 

Yeah. Now is definitely the time to tell Shouto about Hitoshi. 

 

Great. Now I’m worrying about two things at once. I should try to sleep on this and hopefully I’ll have a clearer head when I wake up. Cross your fingers for me. Cross ‘em so that I don’t get another nightmare. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. It would be a literal nightmare if you replied now so don’t.

 

September 23, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: take off

 

I’m technically writing this on the airplane so by the time you get this, Shouto and I would have landed in London.

 

I don’t sleep on planes and I rarely do flying. Shouto is better at this than me and he’s already out like a light next to me. I’m definitely going to regret it when jet lag catches up to me but it’s worth it seeing him this peaceful. Tsuki is staying with Deku for the whole week and we left our apartment in the care of Touya. Well. It’s under his care by name but really Fuyumi does the cleaning. The only place she’s not allowed to enter is our room anyway.

 

I’m still nervous. My therapist is practically on speed dial if I feel a panic attack coming on. But it’s the calm before the storm. Eye of the hurricane. I will deal with everything else after this week. Besides, Shouto will come back for winter break and for the movie premiere. 

 

Speaking of movie premieres! The trailers are out and you can watch them all here. I put them in a playlist for your convenience because I’m not sure if you know how to use the internet aside from opening emails and the occasional google search. You’re welcome, old man. 

 

Aren’t the trailers fucking gorgeous? The animators really outdid themselves with this one. And Jirou? She’s gonna be a fucking star after this. I’m thinking of featuring her in my next album. I think her and Pikachu would get along well. Did you know she also plays the bass? We were missing a bass player in my high school band so I invited her for a jam session over Christmas if she’s down. 

 

The holiday season will still be in full swing because Shouto will be back in time for his annual Christmas shopping. He will bring souvenirs from London but he still wants to buy our friends gifts here in Japan. Feels more like home. I saw him add Fuyumi and Natsuo to his “to buy gifts for” list a week ago. Might have to bake those two another round of my pies.

 

This is good. Focusing on the positive for now. One step at a time, right? Let’s see how I am by the end of this week. I’ll update you.

 

Katsuki

P.S. A reply from you would induce premature jet lag.

 

September 30, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: change of plans

 

Things got worse. 

 

Everything was fine until a few days ago. I was doing okay, preparing myself for when the inevitable happens. I was doing okay. I sat in on some of Shouto's introductory classes where he used me as his fun fact about me and I played along. I was doing okay. 

 

I was doing okay until a few days ago. 

 

For the first time in years, I experienced a full-blown panic attack hours before my supposed flight back home. I had all my bags packed, all the fun UK themed souvenirs neatly wrapped in ugly wrapping paper, and my clothes laid out and ready on the bed. Everything was going according to plan and I was technically fucking ready to leave. 

 

I think I overestimated the stability of my mental state because when I saw all my bags packed next to Shouto's bed, I broke down. It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But I'm sure you can kinda understand where I'm coming from. I made Monoma pack his bags. I reluctantly let Hitoshi pack his bags. The image of my own bags ready to leave must have been my breaking point. 

 

Yeah. I wasn't ready to be alone again. 

 

It took a long while for Shouto to finally calm me down. A whole two hours. I was a fucking mess, Enji. Tear stains on the carpet, hair pulling, screaming until my voice was gone, kinda mess. You should have seen me after I finally remembered how to breathe. I think I nearly passed out if it weren't for Shouto's presence grounding me to reality. Yeah. It wasn't a good moment for me. It was genuinely fucking terrifying. 

 

This is why my therapist recommended comprehensive plans. 

 

I missed my flight back home, obviously, so now I'm just here with Shouto in London for the time being. Will I be here the whole semester? I don't know. So far, the stars seem to point to me staying here with my husband until we're due to fly back for the movie premiere. Shouto's getting all the necessary documents for my extended stay and he refuses to let me help. 

 

That's fine, actually. I don' t think my frazzled mental state could handle paperwork and legal stuff. Thank God Shouto didn't opt for on campus lodging. It would have been way harder to justify me staying there with him for five months. He told me instead to arrange for Fuyumi and Deku to alternate taking care of our fur baby. At least Touya is not part of that list. He once tried to feed Tsuki expired cat food. 

 

I'm still kind of out of it. I've been waiting for Shouto outside of his classroom or in his professors' lounge room. My abandonment anxiety has never been this bad that I have to see Shouto at least once every few hours to prevent another attack. My therapist says that I may be due for some regular medication again. I stopped taking my meds regularly years ago because I didn't get panic attacks anymore. 

 

Well… It's hello to the pills for five months, I guess. 

 

Shouto suggested writing some music while I'm here to take my mind off of my worst intrusive thoughts. We have mini jamming sessions when he's on lunch break. I'm grateful for him, I really am. But my brain always conjures up the worst thoughts like "he's pitying you" and "you're keeping him from making new friends."  Shit like that. It sucks and I hate it. 

 

Shouto knows about those thoughts. My therapist told me to be open about even the worst trains of thought because Shouto will be there to provide reassurance. He doesn't mind. My amazing fucking husband is so damn patient with me that even after six years of putting up with me, I still get surprised. 

 

Shouto actually told me that me staying here longer is a blessing in disguise. He doesn't fear abandonment as much as I do but he does have a harder time sleeping when we're not next to each other. It's what we have in common. It's why we tend to call each other before we sleep if we're in different parts of the country. Hearing his voice, seeing his face, watching him fall asleep even if the video quality is bad. 

 

It's better than a lullaby. 

 

Might fuck around and make a small home studio in Shouto's London apartment. I'll get Iida to send my keyboard and guitar here by next week. I bought an acoustic guitar here on impulse when Shouto suggested I make music but I miss my electric guitar. And my drums. But I can't get those delivered here or the neighbors will kill us. Maybe I'll buy those electric drum pads instead. 

 

Don't be surprised when, in the next time I email you, I say that I've produced a whole ass album with 20 tracks. It's very possible with music as my coping mechanism.

 

Katsuki

P.S. Hell no.

 

October 25, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: music therapy

 

I didn't make a full length album. 

 

I made two. 

 

I'd say I'm surprised but also I'm not. I started streaming my process on YouTube just for something to do as well and the fans have taken a huge liking to it. In roughly less than a month, I've become some sort of YouTuber or some shit like that. Shouto finds it simultaneously hilarious and endearing that I picked up a new skill while away from home. 

 

Hey, if it keeps me distracted from nasty intrusive thoughts, then it isn't so fucking bad. 

 

Other than streaming every time I felt the urge to write a song (which is frequently), I started taking videos of Shouto whenever we're on campus together. It's been a month but we're still discovering so much cool shit in King's College. I asked Shouto if he wanted his own YouTube channel but he said editing videos is hard enough without studying for a PhD so he'll leech off of mine. 

 

I'm pretty sure a good population of my subscribers are there for the aesthetic vlogs I post of Shouto exploring King's College. Who can blame them? My husband is fucking gorgeous and I edit videos of him like he's the eighth wonder of the world. I don't half-ass anything, old man, and if I'm going to post regular videos of Shouto being the most beautiful man on earth, I'm making them fucking stunning. 

 

(My channel is here by the way. Subscribe or whatever. I'm almost at half a million subscribers already.) 

 

Other than Shouto frolicking around King's College and their endless fields of green, my husband has been as studious as ever. I hang out at the teacher's lounge a lot because most of his classes are like individual consultations for three hours. Other than the two masterclasses he takes that have twenty people each, he usually works in the consultation rooms in his home department.

 

I've talked to most of the professors in his department. A lot of them are fucking thrilled that Shouto will be getting his degree here. In fact, some professors here have a raging crush on him. Of course, they know I'm his husband and Shouto is perfectly loyal. It doesn't stop them from gawking every now and then. Sometimes I join in on the gossip sessions. The older ladies love hearing about how Shouto is like back at home. 

 

Sometimes, Shouto is in those gossip sessions and I have to stop him most times before he says something embarrassing. Nobody needs to know about that one time at Deku's party where I… was more than a little tipsy. I'm not giving you the full story you, flaming hot asshole. I still have a bit of dignity left. All I'll tell you is that it involved clothing and an overused karaoke machine. 

 

Shouto's absolutely thriving at King's. There were a few doubters and maybe some haters but eventually Shouto won them all over. He didn't win awards and became a best selling poet twice to be disrespected. His way with words isn't just good on paper. He captivates the room with his words and sometimes he can get a whole crowd to listen without even saying anything at all. His presence is truly that powerful. 

 

It's really hot, not gonna lie. 

 

To see Shouto in his element, honing his craft, creating art with nothing but ink in his pen and piles of scratch paper, is truly a magnificent sight. He's brilliant, Enji. I've said that before, right? Shouto is so fucking brilliant. I'm pretty sure with the pace he's going now, he'll finish his PhD early. It's not something that hasn't occurred before but in extremely rare cases, someone could get their PhD in half the expected time. 

 

I'm confident that Shouto will exceed expectations. 

 

As for my two accidental full-length albums, I'm planning on releasing one song from them as a single accompanied by a bomb-ass music video of moments where I filmed Shouto when he wasn't paying attention. I already ran this plan by Iida and he says that would really help me transcend musical genres from punk rock to an almost alternative or indie-style feel to it. 

 

I haven't given you a treat since I told you to buy my music but I actually am gonna give you a demo this time. I don't plan on releasing it because the context of the lyrics is something I think only you would understand. 

 

It's a song about you. And these emails. And what the future may entail through my cryptic 2am rambling to a stranger I know all too well. 

 

Give it a listen. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. Not yet

November 2, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: chance encounters

 

Things just got even weirder here in London. 

 

Remember when I casually mentioned that my rebound ex lives in London and that we may or may not actually bump into him at some point? Well, Halloween was that blessed day. 

 

Shouto and I volunteered to help at a local girls orphanage just a few blocks from our current London apartment. Shouto had a break from school because most of his professors were parents that had to dress up their kids for the best holiday in the universe. London looks fucking killer during Halloween. Most of the time the people here are boring as fuck but when it comes to the holiday where you have an excuse to buy shit loads of candy and dress up for a day? British people sure do know how to party. 

 

There were several charities being held during Halloween too, especially for children. Shouto found out about the orphanage through one of his classmates who works there part-time. Shouto practically begged for us to volunteer, tell stories, and play music with the kids. I couldn't say no. Shouto doesn't usually ask to spend time with children so I was actually curious to see how he'd interact with the little girls. 

 

Enji, he's so awkward it's endearing. 

 

You'd think he'd be a natural at this, right? He interacts with kids sometimes during book signings when moms would bring their babies with them. But these girls are around four to ten years old. Shouto has never dealt with toddlers before. The kinds of babies who actually talk back. Thank god the bastard is handsome or else those little girls wouldn't even blink in his direction. I think it helped that he was wearing his vampire costume. The slicked back hair and cape does wonders. 

 

This is where it started to get weird. 

 

Now, I've dealt with kids this age before. Deku and I used to babysit in high school when we were still together so I was kinda the one who had to save Shouto's sorry ass half the time. He convinced me to wear my werewolf costume (he had Iida send it last week, the sneaky little shit) so that the kids would get excited by the ears and the tail. I'd hear “it's a kitty!" every now and then because of that. 

 

Two girls in particular kept hanging out with me. One was four years old and the other said she was turning six next month. The four year old kept asking to be carried and I carried her more than half the time we were there. The other girl was talkative as fuck and kept showing me all the drawings she made of me because my kitty ears gave her artistic inspiration. Cheeky kid. She reminded me of younger me. 

 

Right when we were about to leave, the guest of the hour arrived in the nick of time. The girl who kept asking to be carried practically leapt out of my arms and happily screamed out a name that I hadn't heard in years.

 

Shinsou. 

 

Hitoshi Shinsou. 

 

Shouto was on the other side of the room saying goodbye to some of the girls when he arrived. I was frozen in the middle of the foyer. I couldn't even call out for my husband because I was stuck there, dressed as a goddamn werewolf, staring at my ex like it's some dumbass romcom. Julia Roberts is fucking rolling in her grave at the scene. I don't know if she's actually dead but she would die from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. 

 

Thankfully, Shouto was by my side after my brain had short circuited for half a minute and he introduced himself as my husband directly to my ex. One would assume that my husband isn't into petty drama or starting anything like it but here I was, watching my husband and my rebound awkwardly shake hands as twenty little girls dressed in various styles of princesses stared at them. 

 

Enji, my life is a telenovela. 

 

Hitoshi seemed to take it in stride, despite the sheer tension between us, and actually said he was a huge fan of Shouto's work. Shouto, bless his fucking heart, offered to autograph his book if ever they see each other again. Hitoshi said he's at this orphanage every Saturday afternoon. That just so happens to be the time when Shouto is most free. 

 

You're imagining this, right? Are you seeing this whole interaction in your mind's eye? Are you just as stunned as I am? 

 

I couldn't say anything. I physically couldn't because what the fuck do you say to your ex who you kind of almost fell in love with? After years of little to no contact, he finds that I'm married and he makes plans with my husband immediately after meeting him? Am I supposed to be saying something? 

 

Unfortunately, I couldn't really do much because we did have to leave before it got too dark. The two little girls who practically latched onto me took advantage of my dazed state to make me promise to visit them when I can. Shouto only watched me as I helplessly agreed and they smothered me in kisses and hugs. Okay, that was actually kinda nice. I would have visited them even if they didn't ask. Little shits warmed up to me anyway. 

 

But that just means I'll see more of Hitoshi here when I visit the girls. 

 

Haha… Fuck. 

 

This is gonna be interesting.

 

Katsuki

P.S. Please god no I've had enough this week

 

November 10, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: visiting

 

I understand now why those two girls took a liking to me. 

 

Remember them? The two little girls I mentioned in my last email? Well, I made do on my promise and visited them last weekend. Shouto insisted I come because they'll be waiting. But I know he's also a scheming little shit. He bought a cheesecake for Hitoshi and he left me to go play with Eri and Mohoro. I should be grateful. I think even he knew that I wasn't quite ready to talk to Hitoshi yet. 

 

So I spent my whole time in the orphanage with Eri and Mahoro. According to the one who runs the orphanage, Eri and Mahoro recently became roommates after Mahoro was separated from her brother. This was a girls orphanage and the orphanage where her brother resides in was in another city. Eri was around the same age as her brother so she loudly declared that she will take care of Eri. 

 

They're a package deal. No one can adopt only one of them. You'd have to adopt them both

 

Eri is a quiet girl and usually follows along with whatever Mahoro says. But Mahoro always makes sure she actually wants to play tea party or color in their coloring books. Mahoro has a big personality but she's a sweet kid, especially when it comes to Eri. When Eri doesn't want to do something, Mahoro suggests a million and one things to do until Eri decides. 

 

Like I said before, they're a package deal. Two peas in a pod. 

 

I think I'm growing attached to them. 

 

Shouto and I have never discussed the possibility of kids before. Sure, we talked about having a family one day but that felt like more of a distant future. Almost like a dream. We're both able to work mostly from home, him more so than me, so raising kids wouldn't mean leaving them behind half the time. We'd actually be present. 

 

(Unlike someone I know. Can you take a wild guess?) 

 

Eri and Mahoro… They lost their parents at a young age. Way too young for them to even comprehend what they've lost. And they were transferred from foster home to foster home before eventually settling down in this orphanage no less than a year ago. Mahoro hasn't seen her little brother in two years. Eri doesn't even know what her parents look like. They've been abandoned and have had things taken away from them. 

 

I think they can sense that I can be with them in solidarity. 

 

I've had my fair share of loss and heartbreak. I sought comfort in a man who promised me stability for the rest of our lives. Can I really blame them for wanting what I have? For wanting a family? For wanting parents who won't abandon them, parents who will love them even when things get hard? 

 

I'm gonna have to talk about this with Shouto. 

 

Because raising kids is way different from raising a cat. Tsuki can go and do her own thing and she wouldn't give a shit half the time. Kids are a full-time commitment. You get to watch them grow, watch them learn from their mistakes, watch them fall in love, and start their own lives. When I look at Eri and Mahoro, there's a part of me that wants that. A part of me that wants to give them an opportunity to grow and love in a safe space. 

 

An opportunity to have a family that will never leave them again. 

 

But that shit scares me. 

 

It's scary to become a father. It's scary because you don't know if you'll end up making the mistakes people associate with bad dads. I don't want to end up like you. God forbid I ever look at my kid as a means to an end. Even if I know in my heart that I could never and will never be like you… There's always that irrational fear. Shouto doesn't deserve that from me. Eri and Mahoro don't deserve that from me. 

 

I really need to talk to Shouto about this. Or else I'll go batshit crazy from overthinking. 

 

I know the answer may be negative but… Were you ever this nervous at the thought of having kids? Were you ever overwrought with a million worst case scenarios? You probably weren't. You had plans for all your kids before they were even born. 

 

But please tell me you at least felt the slightest bit of fear in screwing everything up? 

 

If you did have that fear, how does it feel to know you did screw everything up? How does it feel to know that all your children don't want to associate themselves with you? 

 

If I do end up becoming a father, I don't want to screw up like you did. I don't want that to happen. To me. To Shouto. To anyone. 

 

I don't ever wanna be like you. 

 

How does it feel to know you're a cautionary tale instead of a role model? 

 

… Fuck. I'm talking to Shouto tonight. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. Seriously? No.

 

November 15, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: rebounds, orphans, and new music

 

I have three major things to tell you today.

 

The first one is that the first from the impromptu series of music videos I’m making in London was released yesterday and you can watch it here. I have ten queued up, and by the end I’ll release my coping mechanism album. It isn’t actually named coping mechanism album. That’s a shitty name. (I actually don’t have an actual name yet. So far, it’s just the untitled London project. If I don’t figure out a name by the time I release the last music video, that will be the name I guess.)

 

The second is that I finally talked to Hitoshi.

 

Yeah. I know. Whiplash. 

 

Apparently, he transferred to King’s College for medicine after we broke up, finished his residency here, and just decided to live here forever. He’s also the volunteer doctor for the girls orphanage, that’s why he visits every weekend. You must be wondering, Mr. Enji… How do I know this information now? 

 

Shouto tricked us into getting coffee together. 

 

Shouto and Hitoshi hit it off right away when Shouto gave him that fucking cheesecake. While I was busy entertaining Eri and Mahoro in our own little world, they were talking about me. I mean, what else would they talk about? They don’t have anything else in common. But it doesn’t make it any less weird that my ex and my husband are bonding over the evolution of my kissing skills. 

 

(I’m a fucking excellent kisser. Back then and now. I don’t know what the fuck they’re comparing.)

 

Anyway, Shouto tricked both of us yesterday. After we left the orphanage, he invited Hitoshi to join us for afternoon coffee. Then, he “left” to take an important call from his “publicist.” Essentially, he was gone for an hour and I’ve been with Shouto long enough to know his evil fucking plan. He did this with me and Deku once. Also, when I was still wary around Touya.

 

Shouto leaving me alone with someone I am either currently mad at or haven’t thought to speak to privately is basically him saying “ talk to each other or else no sex tonight.”

 

So, yeah, we talked. 

 

And honestly… it went pretty well.

 

Because the first thing Hitoshi said was “This doesn’t have to be awkward if you don’t want it to be.” 

 

Hitoshi has always been a low maintenance guy so just the simple reminder that we can just pick up where we left off was really on point with him. It really rivaled my overthinking ass. But it also helped us actually talk to each other about what we’ve been up to since we last saw each other. By the time Shouto came back, we promised to be actual friends.

 

Shouto was ecstatic . He already added Hitoshi to his list of people to buy Christmas presents for. I told Hitoshi he can’t escape once Shouto has declared you part of the Christmas present list. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hitoshi laugh that much while entertaining Shouto’s questions about what’s on his wishlist. Needless to say, Hitoshi is definitely going to get a sack of cat food and a bundle of warm socks.

 

As for the third thing… Let’s just say next year we might have to move to a bigger house.

 

The decision still isn’t official but at the very least, Shouto and I are on the same page. The second I mentioned adoption, he asked if it was because I’ve grown attached to Eri and Mahoro. Sometimes, he knows me a little too well. Hitoshi actually perked up a bit when I mentioned Eri and Mahoro. I figured that I might as well let him in on the loop while we were still at the coffee shop.

 

Hitoshi has a soft spot for Eri. She was very sickly when she first arrived at the orphanage so Hitoshi spent a lot of time treating her. By association, Mahoro also has a place in his heart. So when I said that I may or may not be considering taking them both in, I think he damn near cried. I guess I wasn’t the only one who grew soft for those girls.

 

Shouto was all for adoption. That’s actually the reason why he even asked if the both of us could volunteer at the orphanage. We didn’t talk a lot about kids before marriage but the number one thing Shouto wanted if the time came was to adopt. It’s the prospect of giving a kid a life they deserve and a family who chose them. 

 

Shouto’s spent a good part of the last ten years finding a family, rediscovering what it means to have a family, and understanding what love is on his own terms. It’s not surprising he wants to help someone else feel the same. I shouldn’t have been hesitant to bring it up in the first place. But, you should know me by now. I overthink. I overplan. I over...love? I don’t know.

 

At the very least, we both want to adopt Eri and Mahoro. We’re hoping to bring them home by this time next year. Thankfully, Hitoshi will help us along the way.

 

Things are actually looking up, Enji. Things are looking up. 

 

Enji, I’m gonna be a dad.

 

(I’ll overthink this later, I’m sure.)

 

Katsuki

P.S. I’m not removing the postscript to ask you for parenting advice, stupid ass old man. You’re the last person I’d ask fucking parenting advice from.

November 25, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: getting to know each other

 

You know how things don't always go your way no matter how confident you are? Even if you want this thing to happen, it just won't be that fucking easy? No matter if you have proven over and over again your capabilities and how responsible you are, it's never smooth sailing? 

 

That's exactly what trying to adopt kids as a gay couple is like.

 

I assume you don't know jack shit about adopting kids since you straight people can just shack it up and shoot out a gazillion babies at will. Obviously, neither one of us can get pregnant and even if we wanted a surrogate, why would we put a random stranger through that? Stories from my mother are enough to get me terrified of getting someone pregnant. Or maybe it's just because I was a menace baby. 

 

So, adoption is the safest and most guaranteed way for Shouto and I to have kids right? 

 

Guaranteed might be the biggest understatement of the goddamn century. 

 

Surprise, surprise! England is fucking homophobic. Gosh, what did I expect? It's not like Japan is any better, though. The approval requests for adoption is insane for same-sex couples. You have two world renowned artists with more money to their name than probably fucking Dolly Parton and they say it will take over a year before the request is even considered. It doesn't matter that we've been in a healthy relationship for 6 years and counting. It doesn't matter that we said we're more than capable of providing them a loving home. 

 

No. It's because we're two men that's making everything so fucking difficult. 

 

I shouldn't be surprised. But just because I'm not surprised, it doesn't mean I can't be fucking furious about it. They'd really rather have Eri and Mahoro grow up in the orphanage until they're of age then kick them out to fend for themselves, rather than let us adopt them and give them a damn fantastic life because… we're a couple of queers? 

 

Oh, we can't give them to you because they might be badly influenced by the double fucking rainbow of queerdom! What? Oh no, we'd rather send them to another foster home with shitty foster parents. At least they're straight for our good Christian children! We don't want a bunch of gays ruining such innocent minds now, do we? 

 

If you don't see how wrong that situation is, you're part of the fucking problem. 

 

We spent the past two weeks visiting the orphanage and getting to know Eri and Mahoro. I didn't really have to prove anything to them. It was mostly for Shouto's sake since he's kinda shit at getting kids to like him. But the two of them remembered him from Halloween (how could they forget? His hair is in two fucking colors)so they at least know he's nice. 

 

It took a few days before they warmed up to him. It was all up to Eri, actually, since she was the more timid one of the pair. Mahoro only did things Eri was genuinely comfortable with so when Eri finally decided Shouto could join their tea party, everything went a little more smoothly. It was nice seeing them all get along. Enough to make me admit I cried just a little bit. 

 

Because Shouto isn't the greatest with kids but god does he try his damned hardest for them. He knew how attached I became with Eri and Mahoro. Either of my own volition or by sheer force it doesn't matter. I started seeing them as my girls the second they asked me to join their tea party. Mahoro pointed out that the both of them kinda looked like me in some aspects.

 

I knew we had to make them our daughters. I just knew. Even though I was scared shitless of becoming a father they'd resent in the future. I couldn't even think about that for too long because this is for them. So that they can have a life away from foster homes and orphanages. What if they're separated if they get transferred again? It'd break me if that happened, knowing that I could have done something about it. 

 

That sounded a lot like Deku. Shouto sensed that too a few days ago when I talked to him about this after the orphanage fuckers refused to reduce the time between the filing of the request to the approval. He said Deku wouldn't give up either, pointing out that he likes how that's the thing I picked up from our shared ex. 

 

The ability to never give up even when things are falling to shit. I had that within me for a long time but anxiety does a lot of holding you back. I held myself back a lot, despite my wild ambitions. I held myself back from relationships for the longest time. But after years of being with the man I now call my husband, I can't afford to not stand my ground. 

 

And Shouto… Where would I be if he wasn't the one by my side throughout all of this? 

 

Even if I shut down when it becomes too much, he's there to wait for me. Even if I push him away during my darkest moments, he's there to provide me light. Even when I cling to him because of this goddamn anxiety of mine that tells me he doesn't really love me, he is there to prove me wrong. Shouto loves me so much that I can't help but fall in deeper love every time he shows it. 

 

In my first email to you, I asked myself if I deserved Shouto. If I deserved him as a lover more than you deserved him as a son. I don't think anyone deserves him. I consider myself lucky to have fallen in love with a man who said fuck you to his circumstances and made a name for himself. I'm so fucking lucky that he fell in love with me too, scars, broken heart, anxiety, and all. 

 

He took one look at me and chose to stay. He chose me. Over and over and over again. He chose me not because he thought he could fix me. Not because he thought I could fix him either. No. He chose us because we'd stand by each other as we fixed ourselves. He held my hand as I let my heart beat for him despite the bruises many have left behind. He didn't force me to love him. 

 

I chose to love him. And he chose to love me back. 

 

That's how I know that he will be a great father. 

 

Not only because Shouto has somebody he can look to for the things he definitely should not do (I don't have to spell it out, right? You know who I'm talking about) but because he respects the agency of a person to choose who they want to love. He waited for Eri to choose to play with him. He waited for Mahoro to choose to show him her dolls. And he waited for me to make the first move on our relationship. 

 

Because he cares about what you choose and who you choose to become. It's such a simple yet powerful trait of his that I hope one day Eri and Mahoro can pick up from him. Heaven knows compassionate children that will grow up to be compassionate adults is exactly what this godforsaken world needs. There are way too many fucked up assholes ruining the planet. You included. 

 

So this adoption is so important to us. Not only to give Eri and Mahoro a comfortable life, but to understand the nuances of parenthood. We know it's not gonna be easy. Right from the get go, approval takes forever. But you bet your ass the both of us are going to try with all our goddamned might to see this through. 

 

It's difficult but we ain't quitting. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. It shouldn't even be said at this point. 

 

December 10, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: home sweet home

 

Our flight back home is in a couple of hours. How time flies by, huh? 

 

Shouto decided that he'll finish the rest of the school year online so we won't be coming back to London until next year. That means we won't be seeing Eri and Mahoro for the holidays. However, we did send them and the rest of the orphanage some presents yesterday. Hitoshi is gonna email us the pictures and videos of their reactions as a Christmas gift of his own. 

 

Shouto, of course, invited Hitoshi to come back to Japan for the holidays with us. All three of us are on friendly terms now and he really wanted Hitoshi to come to our annual Christmas party. But, Hitoshi has duties he still needs to take care of over the holidays. He did promise to video call us during the party, however, so that he can meet the rest of the gang we call our giant dysfunctional family. 

 

I can already see the chaos. This should be fun. 

 

Not long after we land, we have to get ready for the red carpet premiere of the movie. We were supposed to arrive yesterday so that we can rest but our flight was cancelled due to unfit weather conditions. Thankfully, the sun is actually out today so we got the next flight back home. Iida is stressing out because the schedule is a lot tighter now but he's gotten everything ready. All we'll have to do is get out of the plane and Iida will push us in the right direction. 

 

Virgos, am I right? Always planning ahead. 

 

We're gonna board soon so I'll have to end it here but I attached a few pictures I took from when we first landed in London all the way up to last week. I didn't include any pictures of Eri and Mahoro yet. I don't think you quite deserve to meet your future grandchildren, old man. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. Ho ho NO

 

December 15, 2026

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: A significant Sunday brunch

 

The movie absolutely murdered it at the box office. It earned almost 50 million on the first weekend and let me tell you that Jirou will definitely be a superstar after this. That girl's voice acting is top notch. She'll definitely get a shit ton of gigs and movies after this. I heard she's already considered for an upcoming anime about high school kids with superpowers. 

 

It's not my thing but I heard the manga is mega popular so I'm proud of her. 

 

As for the two of us, after about a dozen industry required parties and a few filthy nights at luxury hotels, we're finally settled back home. Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo welcomed us with a feast. It also just so happened to be Sunday, meaning it was technically our first Sunday brunch with Shouto's siblings. 

 

And boy was that interesting. 

 

Now, Shouto only spent maybe a total of ten days actually getting to know his two other siblings again before we left for London. Before we flew out, Shouto still was on the fence on finally letting them be part of our Sunday brunch tradition. It's not just a weekly get-together. It's not just friends showing off their cooking skills. 

 

It's an intimate event indicating the people Shouto and I chose to be part of our chosen family. 

 

Number one reason why Shouto didn't want them there yet was Fuyumi's frankly irritating insistence that Shouto try to talk to you. 

 

See, these emails are different. I talk at you, not to you. Plus, the circumstances in which I choose to talk at you is entirely in my control. I can very well choose never to fucking email you ever again and there wouldn't be consequences on my end. Because you never respond. 

 

An actual conversation is a circumstance that Shouto absolutely cannot control. 

 

Yes, he's forgiven you. I've repeated that hundreds of times already. He's written unsent letters to you for god's sake. But talking to you is something he cannot bring himself to do. And it's something I will never force him to do, no matter how long it's been. Besides, I can't even force him to not talk to you because that's his decision and I have to just stay by his side as he makes these difficult choices in life. 

 

We're a team, a package deal, two peas in a pod, but we are individuals first. Our lives are constantly intertwined but it is our independent choice whether we want to halt certain parts of it to fit with the other person's. Me staying in London? I would have sucked it up and came back to Japan if Shouto said he didn't want me there. I would have made it work somehow, maybe stifle our cat Tsuki with a few too many nighttime cuddles if that was the case. 

 

But he chose to let me stay there. And I chose to accompany him. My guilt and shame took a backseat because Shouto continued once again to choose me , flaws and all. It's so fucking important to stress the agency we have in our relationship. It's how we've stayed together for so long. For fuck's sake, it's how we got married. 

 

I imagine it's still such a strange concept to you? Communication and trust? How's your wife, by the way? Talked to her lately?

 

Speaking of your wife…

 

Fuyumi didn't really bring up talking to you during brunch, so it wasn't as eventful until dessert. 

 

The event? 

 

A surprise video call from their mother

 

How the fuck is a man supposed to enjoy some lemon meringue pie without the emergence of another unwanted family issue? Seriously. You Todorokis have so much going on that I can barely keep up. 

 

Surprisingly, it was Touya's idea and not Fuyumi's or Natsuo's. Apparently, he's always been in contact with her and was the only child she regularly talked to. Shouto almost choked on the pie when he heard her voice. Then, he proceeded to run to our room and lock himself in there for the rest of the evening. Fuyumi tried to coax him out but he was eerily quiet, as if he wasn't even in the room anymore. 

 

I knew , though. Shouto's always been a silent crier. After years of hiding his breakdowns from you, he's become an expert. 

 

The holidays are already going great, Enji. You fucked up piece of trash! Thank you so much for traumatizing your family. It's truly your God-given gift. Three cheers for Enji Todoroki for the lifelong trauma he's inflicted upon his kids and wife! You deserve a fucking prize for world's worst dad. 

 

Needless to say, I had to usher Shouto's siblings out before we both do something we regret. Touya wordlessly input the number he uses to call his mother on my phone. For safekeeping, he said. I think it was a wise decision not to put it on Shouto's phone. 

 

By the time his siblings all went home, Shouto unlocked the door for me. He extended his arms out to me, no words leaving his mouth but his eyes conveying every conflicting emotion this Sunday brunch instilled in him. Not for the first time did I curse you under my breath. 

 

If it's still unclear, I absolutely fucking despise you. 

 

All the shit you've done to make Shouto's first instinct at facing something extremely difficult is to hide; All the abuse you put him through to prevent him from loving his siblings as freely as he deserves; Every single moment you invalidated his feelings, his self-worth, and his attraction to the unconventional far from your impossible standards; I hate it all.

 

I hate that Shouto had to go through that. I hate that he still thinks his extraordinary ability to love so wholeheartedly has consequences. Do you know how many years it's taken for Shouto to break down his walls enough to allow himself to love another man? Do you know how much Shouto went through, after you kicked him out, to stand where he is today? How many jobs he had to take to attend university? How many friends' couches he had to crash on when he couldn't afford rent? 

 

Shouto is an extraordinary man with immense talent that you can only dream to have, Enji. And yet the trauma you instilled in him haunts him every waking moment and hits him like a freight train even when things are good. You're the reason we never go up to Good Day 365. You're the reason he has to remind himself that he can breathe. That he has to breathe. Because the memory of your face can sometimes cut off his air flow until he's choking. 

 

He has to remind himself you're no longer there. You're no longer going to take away the things he loves. Hearing his mom for the first time in years triggered more bad memories of your abuse than it did good memories of his mother's love. 

 

Now, do you understand the gravity of your actions? 

 

I hate you so much for doing this to your son. I hate you so fucking much. 

 

But I will never hate having to comfort Shouto when he needs it from me. I will never hate that he's seen my own dad as more of a father figure than you ever were. I will never hate your son's odd habits, coping mechanisms, and foolishly big heart that always loves me even when it hurts to love anything. 

 

And my heart will always love him too. He curbs my anxiety, my insecurities, and gives so much of himself to me. Who am I not to give my 210%? If what he needs is my arms around him and our cat on his lap, I'll give it to him. If what he needs is a solid three hours just lazily kissing me in between dissertation writing, I'll gladly let him kiss every inch of my face until he's mapped out my skin with his lips. 

 

If what he needs is just for me to be there, you bet your sorry ass that I will be there. No questions asked. 

 

I don't know what this will mean for his relationship with Touya or his mother. I don't know whether Shouto will ask me for the number or tell me to delete it. I don't know what's going to happen until it does. 

 

For now, Shouto needs me more than ever. So I'm sorry, but I won't be emailing for a while so that I can focus on him. 

 

Besides, I'm angry at you right now. I don't think I've ever stopped being angry at you even throughout the emails where I gave you friendly and mundane updates.

 

This will be my last email to you for the year. I'll write to you next year, hopefully when Shouto is feeling better. 

 

Enjoy your lonely holidays, old man. You deserve nothing but the worst. 

 

Katsuki

P.S. What do you think? 

 

December 15, 2027

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: About time

 

Hey.

 

When I said no emails for a while, I really meant it. I hope you've been keeping up to date through other aspects because I don't think I will have as much time anymore to give you everything that has been happening in our lives. A lot has happened, though, and I'd like to assume you want a bit of an update. 

 

So, what happened in the past year? 

 

Five major events happened this year and I'll start with the one with the least amount of significance to you. You know. For the suspense and all that shit. It's also to force you to trudge through this email. I know you miss me roasting you so I'll save the best (or worst) for last. 

 

First thing that happened in the past year was Deku finally got a boyfriend. It was about time for the little bastard to get some dick! Like, I know Shouto is very good in bed (did you miss these disgusting TMI's?) but I didn't think he'd take this long to find someone again. You gotta admit, he's fucking adorable. He's a catch. Why anyone else hasn’t fallen in love with him is beyond me.

 

That was until our very own Hitoshi Shinsou decided to make a surprise visit on Shouto's birthday. 

 

Yeah. My two exes got together. Deku had to watch his two exes get married so maybe this is also a bit of a taste of my own medicine. 

 

But to be honest? I'm not mad about it. 

 

Deku gets unintentionally injured way too many times. Sometimes, I wonder if he's just fucking accident prone. Wouldn't it be convenient if he dated a doctor? A hot doctor, might I add? 

 

What? I'm allowed to aesthetically admire my exes. Hitoshi's tall, handsome (despite his perpetual eye bags from lack of sleep), intelligent as hell (come on MD!), and his voice sounds like it belongs to a sex toy commercial. Hitoshi's fucking smokin' and Shouto agrees with me. A couple who ogles at boys together, stays together. Besides, Deku agrees with the both of us that Hitoshi is definitely someone worth checking out. 

 

Not gonna give too much details on how they eventually got together but let's just say that Hitoshi has been slowly packing his things in his little London Apartment. And Deku has been messaging me every other day what sort of welcoming decorations he can put in the guest room. 

 

I like them together. Besides, Deku deserves a boyfriend and Hitoshi looks like he might stick around for a while. 

 

Second thing that happened this year is that I am currently writing this email in the sitting room of our brand new house. 

 

Do you know what that means? 

 

Eri and Mahoro are coming home. 

 

I didn't want to give you all the nitty gritty details in terms of our fucking messy process of adoption. And boy it was fucking messy. We had to go to court and everything. But it doesn't matter. I don't owe you those details. What matters is that in a few days before Christmas eve, we're flying out to London to bring our little girls home. 

 

Both of them are a year older now and we have to enroll them in international schools after summer break but we cannot wait to bring them home. Shouto and I stayed in London again for a few months for his second PhD year, in which we took the time to really get to know our girls. We went to the orphanage every weekend, even during the times when Shouto was knee deep in dissertation research. We took the time to let the two of them truly warm up to us as their future fathers. 

 

And by Christmas time, we can introduce them to the rest of the family. 

 

We came back to Japan early to get the house ready. It's farther from our apartment and it sits almost at the outskirts of Tokyo. But it's a little bigger, has a large backyard, five bedrooms, and a whole lot of DIY decorations. That was Shouto's idea. He enlisted the help of Uraraka, Jirou (yes she's one of us now), and Tsu for all those DIY projects. He wanted the house to have a bit of love poured into it before Eri and Mahoro moved in. 

 

I also tapped Yaoyorozu for help on their rooms. Shouto wanted me to be the one to decorate them and I wasn't one to back down from a challenge. My parents are fucking fashion designers. I know my aesthetics! Admittedly, it wouldn't be as child friendly if it weren't for Yaoyorozu's help but I chose the correct color palettes. 

 

We got the house. We got the approved papers. We got all our friends buying them presents for Christmas. All we need to do now is pick them up and bring them home. 

 

I'm gonna be a father now. 

 

And no. You won't be getting pictures of them. One year did not change my mind. You do not deserve to see your grandchildren. 

 

Ha. You really are old now. You got grandkids. Keep the paramedics on speed dial, okay? By the time Eri and Mahoro finish college, you're just gonna be dust in the wind (I hope). 

 

Third and fourth thing sorta meshed together and that's Shouto and the rest of your kids went on a family field trip to the mental hospital where their mom is over the summer. Oh yeah. It took that long for them to reach a consensus. Seriously, is Shouto the only one of your kids with effective communication skills? Even then, he's still learning. Maybe it's the two master's degrees that help him articulate but your other three kids share two brain cells. Most of the time it's with Fuyumi. Other times, Touya has them solely to wreak havoc. 

 

(Was it a good idea to make him the godfather to Mahoro? It was either him or Kaminari. It was basically a lose-lose situation either way so I guess we'll see what happens.)

 

Anyway, I'm gonna spare you the details. All you need to know is that Shouto came back from the field trip feeling a little better. He's been visiting her every other weekend and he even video called her when we were in London. They're all healing together from the shared trauma you put them through. 

 

How's that empty house, by the way? Christmas will be just as lonely for you this year, I presume? 

 

Oh and the fifth thing? 

 

Shouto knows. About the emails. 

 

I told him last week. Because I was planning on updating you anyway. It's been about 4 years since my first email to you and with all the changes that's been happening, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going anymore. Mending broken families, starting brand new families, careers still on an uptick. The two of us have been busier than ever and after my last email to you last year, not talking at you made me just live in those moments. The good and the bad. 

 

And not quite frankly, I fucking forgot about you. 

 

Writing you an email ended up being an afterthought. A blip in my memory, something I didn't prioritize. I wrote to you almost constantly last year because all my feelings were everywhere and you were an emotional punching bag. And you never responded. I guess that's something I should thank you for? Thanks for respecting the postscripts, old man. That's at least one fucking thing you got right. 

 

But yeah I talked to Shouto about these emails, how much I disclosed and how much I kept private. I was fully prepared for whatever reaction he had. This was his husband secretly writing to his abusive father via email for four years as a form of… therapy? Release? Anger management? Whatever it was, I could take anything he hurled at me. 

 

What I didn't expect was for him to ask me to ask you to… write me back. 

 

It was a strange request but after some thought, it made the most sense. Shouto's always been about giving chances, even to those who don't deserve them. He loves wholeheartedly, remember? 

 

He' s giving you one chance to explain yourself. One chance to definitively give your opinion on who he is now. I painted the most magnificent picture of your son, so what's your final verdict? 

 

Yeah. You read that right. You have been given explicit permission by your son to respond. 

 

But you have a limitation. Write whatever you need to say within one email only . We won't be reading any email from you besides that one email and no I will not be responding to you after that. Neither will Shouto.

 

Basically, Enji, this is truly my last email to you. 

 

Time flies by, doesn't it? This started out as an impulse decision. I wanted nothing more than to electronically flip you off and brag about your amazing son. I wanted to remind you how much of a raging dumpster fire you are. I wanted to make you feel guilt, shame, resentment, and regret at never becoming the father that Shouto and the rest of his siblings deserved. 

 

Then it turned into some form of therapy for me. Like writing to a fictional entity. Someone who wouldn't give me premature reactions to all the bullshit I rant about at two in the morning. After each email, my head would feel much clearer. My emotions would be processed through the word vomit, and I'm able to mentally and emotionally be there for my husband afterwards. It's cathartic, as my therapist would say. 

 

Now, after a whole year of not emailing you, I realized you were just a crutch preventing me from living my life as it happens. Sure, you were an important part of my husband's past but now it's way more important to live in the now and press forward into the future. It's not as easy as it sounds. Better said than done, especially in my circumstances, but the very first step is to let go of you

 

Because I think I've said enough. I think I've given you everything you need to know of the man your son became without you in his life. Of the man who found his own family, his own career path, and his true love. It's been more than ten years since you kicked him out of your house, and ultimately out of your life. But he has some more decades ahead of him, so many years left to build on the extraordinary life he's created, and I'm fucking grateful that he chose me to come along for the ride. 

 

Here is my last question for you Enji: With all this knowledge of your youngest son now, what would you say to him? 

 

I think he'd appreciate it if you answered that question in detail. 

 

Goodbye for the last time

Katsuki


December 15, 2028

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: A long overdue response

 

Hello, this is Enji Todoroki. 

 

Admittedly, it is quite the overshot that it took me a whole year to write back to you. I was so used to being denied the right to reply that it took me a bit of time to process that I have been given this literal once in a lifetime chance to say everything I have been wanting to say for the past few years. 

 

I have written and rewritten this email more times than I could count. I also re-read every single one of your emails to figure out what it is exactly I've been meaning to tell you and Shouto from day one. 

 

It has been difficult, Katsuki. Am I allowed to call you that? I do not think it actually matters at this point, as you won't be able to affirm any of the decisions I make in writing this blasted email, so I will address you as such. 

 

Katsuki Bakugou. 

 

It was bold of you to write to me out of the blue. You were right. I should have blocked you from day one because your blatant disrespect from the first email alone should have told me volumes about your personality. You were an arrogant imbecile who thought they could hold my son over me as if I cared about him. That was my first impression of you. No matter your accolades and musical achievements, you were nothing but a pest whose sole purpose was to piss me off. I almost called my lawyer on you, Katsuki. 

 

That was until I made the foolish mistake of finishing your first email. 

 

Though vulgar at the worst of times, you have a way with words, young man. What was I supposed to expect from a grammy award winning singer-songwriter? I underestimated you. That was, shamefully, the first of a long series of mistakes.

 

Then you started asking me questions. Questions that provoked me and made me want to throw my computer out the window. Who were you to ask such insolent questions? Who were you to be so blatantly rude? I didn't appreciate your tone in the slightest. But those questions were the only things I could concretely answer. As the years went by and with each new email, I found myself looking for these questions, so that I may one day finally give you the answers. 

 

So, I did take note of your questions because I wanted some sort of structure as I drafted this email. I answered your questions in my head the first time I read them, actually. Fortunately for you, I did jot them all down as email drafts for years. I don't know how that will make a difference on your perception of me but it is worth attempting.

Let's start from the very beginning, shall we? 

 

March 23, 2024

 

  • Did you know that he’s studying to be a professor?

 

I always knew he was studious but a university professor? It's not a profession I envisioned for him. I don't respect many professors. 

 

  • Did you know that he graduated college top of his class?

 

I don't even know which college he went to. 

 

  • Did you know he’s a poet? 

 

I did not. Sounds absolutely useless. 

 

  • Did you know that he’s talking to several publishing houses to get his first anthology printed? 

 

Another rousing waste of time, I presume? Good luck with that. 

 

  • Did you know he’s getting a PhD?

 

Like I said, he's studious so it's not much of a surprise. But I always thought of PhDs to be unnecessary. 

 

  • Did you ever bother to actually get to know your son?

 

I thought I did know him.

 

  • Didn’t your eldest son run away?

 

I don't acknowledge him. He is as dead to me as you would imagine. 

 

  • When was the last time you visited Shouto’s mother in the hospital? 

 

I have never visited her. 

 

  • Does Shouto’s sister still set an extra place on the table for each member of the family whom you’ve chased away?

 

Why would I care to notice that? Fuyumi should know better. 

 

  • Am I asking too many questions? 

 

Absolutely. 

 

  • Am I making you uncomfortable?

 

Uncomfortable? No. Furious? A little closer to that. 

 

April 20, 2024

 

  • Did you know that Shouto wanted to be a figure skater once?

 

A horrid sport. Being a sissy on ice is not a valid job. 

 

  • Has Shouto ever told you he loved you and you felt it in every vein of your body, in every heartbeat, in every breath you took?

 

I don't recall Shouto ever telling me that he loved me. 

May 26, 2024

 

  • Have you ever hugged your son?

 

I have never hugged any of my children. Why would you need them? They're a sign of weakness. I didn't want Shouto to grow up weak. 

 

June 5, 2024

 

  • Have you ever dropped everything just to make sure Shouto was alright?

 

He can take care of himself. I don't need to coddle him. 

 

  • Have you two ever sat down and talked?

 

Neither of us were really good conversation starters. The boy barely spoke to me as it is. 

 

  • Have you ever asked him what his favorite color was? What he liked to watch on the television? If he preferred cutting his hair short or keeping it long?

 

These are useless bits of information. I don't give a damn about them. 

 

  • Do you miss him? Even just a little bit?

 

Am I supposed to? He's a disgrace to the Todoroki name. 

 

September 16, 2024

 

  • Was he always an attractive kid?

 

I suppose. All my children look more like their mother. 

 

  • Have you ever stopped to look at him and think that he was God’s gift to humanity? That he was God’s gift to you?

 

God was supposed to give me the perfect son in Shouto but God gave me a travesty instead. I may have once thought he was a gift but I no longer think that. 

 

  • Have you ever noticed that? Have you ever stopped to watch him long enough to see him counting under his breath when he’s doodling on the dinner table? Have you ever seen his fingers twitch rhythmically to an imaginary ticking clock when he leaves the house to go to school? Have you ever heard him say “today will be a good day. Good day #322.”

 

You're very observant, young Bakugou. 

 

  • Have there been good days when he used to live with you? Has it ever gone up past a hundred? 

 

I don't count my days. It's a waste of time and energy. 

 

  • What do you consider to be a good day? What factors into your good day?

 

Every day when he would obey me is a good day in my book.

 

November 9, 2024

 

  • After all of that, can you honestly tell me that Shouto wouldn’t amount to anything?

 

He has certainly done something with his life. I can give him that. 

 

  • If your father did what you did to Shouto, how would you react? 

 

Unlike Shouto, I actually agreed with my father. He is a stern man who instilled the same values I have today. It's just a pity that Shouto never took my side. 

 

December 18, 2024

 

  • Have you ever thought about therapy?

 

Waste of money.

 

March 3, 2025

  • How do you feel having chased away someone who should have been special to Shouto? 

 

You really do enjoy making me acknowledge my eldest son the way you are making me acknowledge Shouto, don't you? How do I feel? How do I feel? He doesn't deserve my acknowledgement or even my slightest sentiment. He would have been a terrible example for Shouto to follow. He is nothing to me. 

 

  • How would you have reacted if you saw him suddenly demanding to be part of your life after he left?

 

He wouldn't dare do that to me. Of that I am certain. 

 

  • Do you fucking understand how much you’ve traumatized your own fucking family?

 

Do you understand how foul your mouth is when you speak to me? Call it trauma, call it abuse, I don't care. I'm preparing my children for the real world. 

 

May 29, 2025

 

  • Have you ever noticed indications of his writing prowess at a young age?

 

As a matter of fact, I did. I figured it would be good when writing cases and business deals.

 

  • What exactly is your stance on the arts? Do you think art is a waste of time?

 

One cannot make a living off of art making alone. Hobbies must be essential to one's future career, not just frilly little unproductive time-passers. 

 

  • Did you ban any and all forms of creative expression at home?

 

Fuyumi once tried to paint and Natsuo snuck in Lego sets late at night. I'm sure you can probably infer what I've done to those things that foster "creativity." 

 

  • Have you ever tried finding your own creative outlet?

 

Never. I've never been good at those things so why bother doing them? 

 

  • Why haven’t you sent a restraining order yet? Why haven’t you blocked me? Do you leave these emails unread in your inbox? Do you look through all the links and attachments I send and find yourself actually seeing your son? 

 

… I save the pictures and links you send me. I make my assistant sort them into folders. I, myself, have not gone through them thoroughly. 

 

  • Do you know your son a little better now?

 

I know him the way I know him and I am perceiving him the way you describe him. There are many things, I admit, that I am discovering about him now through these emails. 

 

  • Did you love your son?

 

No comment. 

 

  • Do you still love him?

 

No comment. 

 

June 15, 2025

 

  • Have you ever witnessed Shouto in the kitchen?

 

That is a woman's place. Shouto doesn't need to know how to cook. 

 

  • Have you been to a theater?

 

Trash forms of entertainment, in my opinion. 

December 2, 2025

 

  • Did you buy it?

 

My assistant took the liberty of purchasing Shouto's book. I, however, have not opened it and am debating whether or not I should read it at all. 

 

  • How are you liking it? Knowing that your son is thriving so much like this without you? Does it hurt? Do you feel resentment? Are you guilty? 

 

It's entertaining how much you think I care. 

January 13, 2026

 

  • Did you know of your son's borderline obsession with Ariel?

 

I banned Disney movies in our household. I have no idea how Shouto is still able to watch those blasted kid's films

 

May 9, 2026

 

  • Do you see that, Enji?

 

To think he'd have the decency to still keep my name, hm? That's his loss. 

 

  • Doesn't that hurt you? Isn't it painful to hear your own flesh and blood forever denounce you from his life?

 

He's not my only son. 

 

  • Surreal isn't it? Has it sunk in yet that you lost another son? Do you regret the day you called him a faggot? Does his pleading stare as you kicked him to the curb ever haunt your dreams at night? 

 

Regret, I feel for several other things but calling my son something he most definitely is will not ever be a thing I regret.

 

  • Has it finally occurred to you that when you push people away, they will only ever prove to you that your stake in their lives will one day be severely broken?

 

No comment. 

 

May 20, 2026

 

  • Did you know that Shouto could sing?

 

He hummed in the shower when he was younger.

 

  • Do you think his fans will implode when they finally hear him sing?

 

I might have to purchase that album of yours to make a proper judgement.

 

June 5, 2026

 

  • Is it safe to assume that you had something to do with it, Enji? You’ve chased away the last two kids you had, didn’t you?

 

I don’t know what was the final straw for the both of them. Though, now that you have pointed it out, I would have liked to know the reason.

 

  • How empty is your home now? Is it lonely?

 

I came back to an empty house on the day they both ran away. It was a strange feeling. Loneliness? Is that the feeling? No… that can’t be the feeling. I don’t ever feel lonely. I don’t.

 

July 3, 2026

 

  • I’m your only source of information about your family now, right?

 

You’re asking me to confirm that?

 

  • Guess you can’t afford to block me now, huh?

 

I can still very much block you after this email. But… I suppose I really can’t afford to lose contact with you.

 

August 20, 2026

 

  • I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you probably bought at least one of his books. If you did, how’d you find it? 

 

I actually did buy his latest book myself instead of my assistant buying it for me. I haven’t read it yet. I’ve been incredibly busy. Although, I picked up his first anthology on the way to work today. I saw the poem you sent last time and reading it in the book itself feels different from reading it in an email attachment. Rest assured, the message has been… received. Neither well received or negatively received. Just received. 

 

  • I haven’t asked you questions in a while, huh?

 

I actually missed them, young Bakugou.

 

September 5, 2026

 

  • You know those moments where you can picture your whole life with someone? After all the bullshit you went through, finally someone treats you like a decent human being? Like a person worth loving? Worth living for?

 

It may be hard to believe, young Bakugou, but I did fall in love with Shouto’s mother when we first met. She didn’t come from a well-off family and I risked quite a lot to marry her. I was young and foolish once too, if you would be inclined to believe that. After the way I treated her and our family, many would not think I loved her. But it did hurt whenever I laid a hand on her unprovoked. However… I know that I have no excuse to do such things. You would swear at me to the high heavens. I will not attempt to persuade you into understanding where I came from. That would be futile in every possible way.

 

September 23, 2026

 

  • Aren’t the trailers fucking gorgeous?

 

Indeed they are. The underscoring you did for them is lovely, young Bakugou. I hate to admit it but I do smell an Oscar winning soundtrack brewing up.

 

September 30, 2026

 

  • It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

 

It doesn’t, Bakugou. I assure you it doesn’t.

 

October 25, 2026

 

  • He's brilliant, Enji. I've said that before, right?

 

Countless times.

 

November 2, 2026

 

  • You're imagining this, right? Are you seeing this whole interaction in your mind's eye? Are you just as stunned as me? 

 

Is this how it feels like to be let in on the kids’ gossip? It was like this email was, for lack of a better word… spicy? Is that what you use these days? My assistant Keigo uses that word quite often for situations like this and I thought that would be an appropriate descriptor for what you’re going through right now. Nevertheless, you seem to have found yourself in a pickle, Bakugou. I await the next installment with bated breath.

 

November 10, 2026

 

  • Were you ever this nervous at the thought of having kids? Were you ever overwrought with a million worst case scenarios?

 

When I had my first born, I had the same concerns as you. I had binders and books stacked up to the ceiling for parenting tips and tricks. I guess you can tell that I never really got it right in the end. 

 

  • But please tell me you at least felt the slightest bit of fear in screwing everything up? If you did have that fear, how does it feel to know you did screw everything up? 

 

I genuinely don’t know what to say to that.

 

  • How does it feel to know that all your children don't want to associate themselves with you?

 

Do you want me to spell it out for you? Can it not just be implied?

 

  • How does it feel to know you're a cautionary tale instead of a role model? 

 

A cautionary tale… I’m afraid to admit that does sting a little. 

 

November 25, 2026

 

  • You know how things don't always go your way no matter how confident you are? Even if you want this thing to happen, it just won't be that fucking easy? No matter if you have proven over and over again your capabilities and how responsible you are, it's never smooth sailing? 

 

That would be me as a father. It’s been a couple years since your first email and I’d be loath to admit that the feeling you have right now is one I have been plagued with since my eldest… Touya ran away. That would be my first time typing his name. I know that our circumstances are worlds apart. I myself am not part of the LGBTQ community but my assistant Keigo put into perspective the struggles you all go through. Wanting children is relatively easier for people like me. I can only imagine how much you had to endure in order to adopt Eri and Mahoro. I’m… sorry. I don’t know how else to phrase this but I am truly sorry that the world always seems to be against you. After many emails, I’d be inclined to say that you don’t deserve any more hardships than you’ve already gone through. I really do believe that, young Bakugou. 

 

December 15, 2026

 

  • I imagine it's still such a strange concept to you? Communication and trust? How's your wife, by the way? Talked to her lately? 

 

I have tried. I visited the hospital a few weeks ago but it seems even my wife would rather not see me and has requested that I do not come near her for the sake of her mental well-being. I suppose I deserve that. No. I know I deserve that. It’s too late for me to apologize to her and… I do believe that is for the best.

 

  • Do you know how many years it's taken for Shouto to break down his walls enough to allow himself to love another man? Do you know how much Shouto went through after you kicked him out to stand where he is today? How many jobs he had to take to attend university? How many friends' couches he had to crash on when he couldn't afford rent? 

 

If I knew at the time in which I denounced my son from our home, I would not have cared. Now? There’s a part of me that’s proud of him. Though, I don’t think that’s what he’s looking for. At least from me.

 

  • Now, do you understand the gravity of your actions? 

 

I do. I don’t know if you believe me but I really do.

 

December 15, 2027

 

  • How's that empty house, by the way? Christmas will be just as lonely for you this year, I presume?

 

Keigo will keep me company this Christmas. But yes. It is lonely even with his rambunctious nature.

 

With all this knowledge of your youngest son now, what would you say to him? 

 

This is the part where I stop talking to you and start talking to Shouto, right?

 

Shouto… hello.

 

It has been over 10 years since we’ve spoken to each other. I never thought I would ever come in contact with you again, much less in the circumstances we have now. I won’t beat around the bush but I do have a lot to say. What I’ve been wanting to say has changed over the years. You may have noticed that my tone has shifted mid-way through answering your husband’s incessant questions. 

 

You’ve got yourself an extraordinary man, Shouto.

 

He has been there for you in ways where I would have failed. He’s loved you in the ways you deserved — and still deserve. Katsuki is more of a man and will be more of a father than I ever was. I also believe that you will be better than me in every possible way. As a father, as a lover, and as a person. 

 

That’s all I ever wanted for you: to be a better version of me. But I realize now the flaw in wanting you to be a version of me in the first place. It was a mistake to expect that of you. I knew it was a mistake when Touya ran away and when Natsuo started to close off from me. Yet I knew, from the moment you were born, that you were different

 

You were far more intelligent than your siblings and you had a fierce determination that outweighed my own ambitions. I thought I could use you to my advantage, to bring my business empire to new heights, to become someone I knew I could never be. I wanted you to carry on my legacy as you were my last shot in doing so. But I became obsessed with that and it was detrimental to our family. I made the exact same mistake with you thinking it would be different this time. 

 

I was foolish enough to think it was a difference that worked in my favor.

 

Your husband has asked me countless times how it felt to be a cautionary tale, the source of all your traumas, the subject of your nightmares. He asked me how it’s like to be celebrating Christmas in an empty house, how it’s like to watch you succeed, denounce my family name, and live a life far out of the reach of my own selfish ambitions.

 

If I answered those questions the day I kicked you out, I would have had no remorse. 

 

But I answer them now with the utmost sincerity. Knowing that you have moved forward and created a life wherein you are happy, I only feel relief. I do feel immense guilt, do not get me wrong. After years of receiving these emails, it’s become gradually more difficult to ignore the growing sense of guilt that I’ve been burying for over a decade.

 

I feel regret in its deepest form, wishing that I could go back in time and do things differently. I should have held your mother more, raised the four of you with compassion, and loved my family unconditionally. But the truth of the matter here is that I didn’t do that and I will forever live with that guilt of not doing things right. In my pursuit of perfection, I only made things worse.

 

However, you would not have met your husband. You would have been miserable either way. I think it is better, much better, that things stay the way they were. Only so that you could have this life, this new life, with your friends, your cat, your fantastic career, your loving husband, and your beautiful daughters.

 

I’m not saying that the way I treated you and the rest of our family is something that you should have gone through. But you would have found a way to love as freely as you do now anyway. Like I said, Shouto, you were different from the moment you were born. You were smaller and had a nice head of hair already. Your mother always joked that when you opened your eyes for the first time, it was like you wanted to challenge the world. You were different. You were wonderfully different.

 

And I’m sorry for making you feel less worthy of love for being different.

 

I will re-answer one question Katsuki asked of me many emails ago: Did you love your son? Do you still love him?

 

I loved you then and I still love you now. 

 

But it is not my love nor my approval that you need. Not anymore. I am not even sure if it comforts you that I love you, Shouto. 

 

I do not ask for your forgiveness nor do I demand to come over to your new house for Christmas. I recognize that this will be my very last point of contact with you and that I may or may not get a response. I’ve prepared for either scenario. Nevertheless, I do not ask to be part of your life nor to even give me another chance. I lost whatever chance I had with every year I didn’t contact you.

 

I only ask that you continue moving forward. 

 

Shouto Bakugou.

 

You have done and will continue to do wonderful things. I think your husband has reminded you of that several times already. I’ll be silently rooting for you, Shouto. Thank you for this opportunity to tell you that for the first and last time.

 

My best regards

Enji Todoroki


Shouto could easily write about this day for the rest of time.

 

It started off perfectly, with the sun’s rays bathing their bedroom in a warm effervescent glow. Softened by the silk curtains and hitting the different colored glass beads hanging from the curtain rod, Shouto felt like he was being enveloped in the soft light of heaven. He may as well be in heaven. For the angel that snores beside him, drool crusting up on the side of his mouth, was the fastidious reminder that he’s been through hell in order to be waking up beside him. 

 

Shouto reaches out a hand and threads his fingers in his husband’s soft blond halo. Nothing truly beats waking up next to this. This image of beauty, this image of a love so unconditional he may never know a different kind of love ever again. He traces the wrinkles starting to form on his forehead, the fading scar on his right cheek, and soon he’s running his thumb across those plump lips he’s been aching to kiss since he awoke.

 

And who was he not to give into his desires?

 

Shouto scoots ever closer to the love of his life, rubbing their noses together briefly, before placing the lightest kiss on those slightly parted lips. Bad breath and dried drool be damned, Shouto loves the feeling of Katsuki’s lips on his own. No matter how much time has flown, a single brush of their lips would always take him back to his most precious memories.

 

Their first kiss on the fire escape. Shouto’s breath tasted of pomelo gin and tequila but Katsuki held him close like the taste of him was an elixir of eternal life. 

 

Their first fight, which consequently led to the first time they kissed to make up. Katsuki stood in the rain, the picture perfect protagonist of a coming of age film, and eyes sparkling like the stars Shouto’s escaped to the fire exit for one too many times. Their kiss then wasn’t desperate nor hungry, but the gentlest sensation of two souls molding into one. He’ll never forget the way Katsuki held his face between his calloused hands, like he was the most precious thing to ever happen to him. 

 

Of course, there was their kiss at their wedding. In a shower of red and white rose petals, kissing Katsuki at their wedding was a cloudless sky, the sun shining a light on the path they will traverse together. Katsuki’s hair was lightly pushed back then, letting the whole congregation see those deep red eyes that Shouto fell in love with, those eyes that he’s written countless poems for. 

 

Katsuki stirs in his sleep, the softest noise of not wanting to wake up just yet escaping his lips. Shouto giggles and continues to place featherlight kisses all over his husband’s face.

 

Husband. 

 

How could it be a few years since they’ve gotten married and yet calling Katsuki his husband still makes his heart fly to newer heights?

 

Maybe that’s just what love is.

 

Soon enough, Katsuki is humming happily at Shouto’s continued ministrations. Soon, there’s a warm hand on his waist, pulling Shouto even closer until their bodies are pressed together. Katsuki returns all the kisses back to him tenfold, even going so far as nipping at Shouto’s earlobe playfully. Shouto giggles and buries his face in the crook between Katsuki’s shoulder and neck. 

 

“Good morning, my love.” Katsuki says, voice low and smooth as honey. “What’s got you in such a good mood today?”

 

“I was just thinking.” Shouto pulls away to gaze up at Katsuki with a soft smile.

 

Katsuki rolls his eyes playfully, “You’re always thinking.”

 

Shouto giggles, placing another kiss right underneath Katsuki’s chin. “I’m thinking of…”

 

He pauses, not quite knowing what to say. It’s a shocker, for a writer such as himself not knowing how to convey to his husband the feeling he woke up having. It’s more than just nostalgia, or gratitude, or even just simple love for Katsuki. It’s something that makes his heart constrict and beat faster, almost like he’s just run a marathon. It’s something he feels when his children call him Papa or when Katsuki pulls him aside to have him listen to another demo of his.

 

A feeling that he once thought could only exist in fairytales.

 

He’s always been taken by the stories of princesses and dragons and knights in shining armor. But Shouto doesn’t write fairy tales. He writes stories of loss, grief, and pain. Stories that wrench out one’s heart, leaving the body as void of a soul as the day it was born. Stories that never have happy endings.

 

“I’d hate to stop your brilliant mind from thinking a little longer but,” Katsuki looks down to capture Shouto’s gaze with a playful smirk. “We have company.”

 

As if on cue, two tiny bodies launch themselves towards them with matching giggles that fill the air like spring windchimes. Simultaneous cries of daddy and papa rouse Shouto from whatever semblance of sleep he still had left. The smallest of the two wriggles herself between them, latching onto Shouto with a pout. Her big red eyes sparkled in the morning light and Shouto could not help but think that she’s starting to look like Katsuki more and more each day. 

 

“Good morning, Eri.” He says as she continues pouting. “What’s with the long face, apple pie?”

 

“Papa,” she says, the last vowel stretched out in a whine. “Where’s my good morning kiss?”

 

Mahoro perks up from her perch on top of a very disgruntled Katsuki. “Mine too! I want kisses from Papa too!” 

 

“What? No kisses from me?” Katsuki feigns hurt, a dramatic hand on his heart. Mahoro, who usually favored Katsuki, shakes her head in earnest. Shouto watches as Katsuki teases his daughter with another fake shot to the heart. “You’ve wounded me, Mahoro. I don’t think I could go on!”

 

Soon, his husband is smothered in lots of kisses from their daughters and Shouto could only laugh as these tiny kids seem to have the strength of a pro-wrestler when it comes to teasing their father. Katsuki is helplessly pinned to the bed as he’s subject to an onslaught of kisses but even he couldn’t be mad at such an affectionate display. After Eri and Mahoro are done attacking him, he gathers the two of them in his arms and tickles them with a few kisses of his own.

 

Shouto, of course, did not want to be left out of the fun. So, he wraps his arms around the three of them, kissing the tops of his daughters’ heads lovingly before placing a lingering kiss on Katsuki’s cheek. “Everyone gets good morning kisses in this household. All you have to do is ask.”

 

“Does that mean I can ask for good morning kisses forever?” Eri asks with wide eyes. Shouto smiles and kisses her nose, reassuring her that she is guaranteed morning kisses until she gets sick of him. 

 

“But morning kisses ain’t gonna fill those empty stomachs of yours. Come on,” Katsuki gets out of bed, his daughters still nestled securely in his arms. “You two can help me make breakfast.”

 

At the mention of breakfast, the two of them immediately erupt into saying a series of breakfast suggestions, all ranging from pancakes to even more outrageous concoctions that are not very healthy. Katsuki bickers with them as they leave the room and Shouto watches them with a warm fondness he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of feeling towards his little family.

 

Family. 

 

Shouto’s had over a decade to think about the meaning of family. Truth be told, he’s still figuring it out until now. No amount of poems can ever really put into words how the simple concept of family has continually shifted over the years. It’s strange that he’s a father now, when years ago he detested the thought of fatherhood in general. Much like many children who grew up in less than ideal conditions, Shouto didn’t want to mess this up. 

 

But it’s different now— a good difference. As the familiar sound of laughter and the clinks of pots and pans in the kitchen filter through the air, Shouto believes that family is a series of sensations that remind him of home. Family is pomelo gin at a birthday party. It’s one too many high school musical songs queued on the karaoke machine. It’s Saturday afternoon tea parties and learning to play the guitar at 3am. Family is cheesecake made for Sunday brunch by a friend who has never baked in his life. It’s a hand held during a tattoo appointment, a thumb swiping a stray tear off of his cheek. 

 

Family is the sound of Eri’s laugh and Mahoro’s endless ramblings about unicorns and aliens. It’s Touya offering to watch over the house on weekends when they’re away. It’s Natsuo playing the villain when Eri and Mahoro want to play heroes and villains. It’s Fuyumi’s quiet voice as she bakes brownies in the kitchen with Katsuki for Christmas. 

 

Family is a series of sensations he associates with home.

 

There’s no better sensation of home than Katsuki Bakugou. 

 

Shouto could write a million and one poems about everything he loves about Katsuki, and in every language imaginable, but it will never be enough. Katsuki is more than home, more than love, he’s more than life itself. He’s both the wishing star and the wish come true. He’s the warmth of the sun and the majesty of the moon. He’s a galaxy's worth of wonders that Shouto has only just begun to discover. 

 

Shouto falls back on the bed, head swirling with thoughts of how Katsuki has changed his life. How this man loved him with every fibre of his being that he wrote him countless songs— half of which he hasn’t even heard yet. How Katsuki loved him, flaws, scars, and broken pieces all the same. How Shouto loves him too, especially the parts of him that Katsuki still believes is unlovable. Most especially the parts Katsuki deems as unlovable. 

 

For Shouto believes there really isn’t any part of Katsuki that is truly unlovable. At least, not in his book. Of course, there are the annoying bits about him. Like when he deep cleans the house out of nowhere and Shouto has to relearn the map of the living room. Or when he drinks milk straight from the carton but only when Shouto asks for it. Even then, Shouto can’t help but be irrevocably in love with him. They’ve been through hell and highwater. It’s gonna take more than a forgotten lifted toilet seat for Shouto to stop loving him. 

 

“Shou! You’ve got some emails from King’s.” Katsuki’s head pops into their room, furrowing his brow when he sees that Shouto is still lying down on the bed. “Here I thought you took a massive morning shit. Care to help us in the kitchen, your eminence?”

 

“You wouldn’t let me near a stove even if your life depended on it.” Shouto says as he stretches out on the bed like a cat. At the mere thought of one, Tsuki enters the room and promptly leaps onto Shouto’s lap with an indignant meow, her amber eyes boring holes into his soul. “See? Even Tsuki says going to the kitchen would be a bad idea.”

 

“Well, if both my princesses are ready to join us for breakfast, you’re free to do so.” Katsuki watches him cuddle with Tsuki for a bit before letting out a fond sigh. “Anyway, you should really reply to those emails from King’s College already. They’ve started emailing me too.”

 

With that, Katsuki tosses him his phone and tells him to reply to the emails or else he won’t get any breakfast. Tsuki refuses to leave his lap so he has to somehow maneuver his body to be able to reach Katsuki’s phone on the edge of the bed without disturbing her. Once he has the device in his hands, he flips through the apps before he opens emails. A lot of the time, Shouto forgets his phone when they go out so Shouto’s email address is plugged into Katsuki’s phone for convenience. 

 

As he opens the email app, however, he remembers a specific email that was sent to Katsuki’s inbox a little over a few months ago. 

 

The email from his father.

 

A little over 5 years ago, Katsuki started emailing Enji about him. One would think he would detest the action after so many years of trying to distance himself from that man but Shouto has always been a man of forgiveness. There’s no point in harboring that anger for so long— and creasing his eyebrows too much will give him early wrinkles. Besides, before he went through this email with Katsuki, he read all of Katsuki’s emails first.

 

It’s amazing how much one can discover about his husband through words he’s said to another person. The 2am existential ramblings, the anxieties that plague his waking brain, and the plethora of emotions he’s able to go through from just a handful of emails has — in a way — brought him closer to Katsuki. It’s in these emails that he was able to discover just exactly which are the parts about Katsuki that he thinks are unlovable.

 

And Shouto fell in love with him even more. 

 

He fell in love with the way he ended the emails with increasingly ruder postscripts. He fell in love with the words he’d create when the clock struck at the witching hour. He fell in love with every little insecurity, every new tidbit of information, and this side of Katsuki who wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable even if it was just through a computer screen. 

 

And in some strange way, Shouto thinks Enji fell in love with Katsuki’s words too. 

 

His response was a product of everything Katsuki told him, both the good and the bad. It meant so much to Shouto to see that Enji had that semblance of humanity within him that Shouto knows still resides in everyone. Years ago, homeless on the street and occasionally begging to sleep on a friend’s couch, he would have asked for nothing but to see his father burn in the darkest depths of hell. Now, Shouto could only pray that his father lives the rest of his life with no more regrets. For Enji knows that his family is far away and safe, from him and the past that did nothing but scar them. 

 

Shouto then remembers the letters he wrote to Enji around the same time that Katsuki was sending these emails. He remembers finding them in a box buried deep in his closet, bundled up and tied together neatly by twine. Each letter was properly addressed to his childhood home. All that was truly missing were the stamps. He was ready to send them at any point in time, even on the day he officially changed his last name. But he didn’t do that. 

 

Instead, he burned the letters. Each envelope was fed to the fire one by one. With each letter that turned to ashes before his eyes, Shouto remembers specifically how much weight was lifted off his shoulders at that moment. 

 

Shouto hovers his thumb over that email, remembering the reassurance and relief he felt after he read the last words he’ll ever hear from Enji, and promptly swipes it to the trash. 

 

With that, he has officially closed that chapter of his life for good. 

 

It’s a different sort of relief that washes over him this time, one that brings a fresh wave of tears to his eyes. Tsuki meows at him from her perch on his lap, rubbing her head beneath his chin in solemn comfort. He holds her close, breath coming in shaky sobs, and allows himself to bask in this weirdly overwhelming joy that’s bubbling up inside him. 

 

Katsuki finds him like this, curled up around his cat and crying into the bedsheets. He feels the bed dip in front of him and his husband’s warm hands cup his face. Shouto immediately nuzzles into those calloused palms, tilting his head just so to place kisses on those hands that have held him through everything he’s been through. Katsuki doesn’t say anything, just lets Shouto cry and kiss his hands, but he eventually places a soft kiss on Shouto’s lips.

 

“Are you okay, baby?” Katsuki asks once Shouto was breathing a little normally. “Is today a good day or a bad day?”

 

Shouto breathes out a laugh, kissing Katsuki one more time, before pressing their foreheads together with a large grin on his face. “It’s a wonderful day, my love.”

 

He kisses Katsuki again, deeper and filled with the overflowing love he can never contain for his husband, drinking in the surprised but delighted gasp that escaped Katsuki’s lips. Words will never convey this feeling. This feeling of kissing Katsuki and knowing he’ll have many more hours in the day to steal more kisses from him. This feeling of the daylight illuminating their souls that have intertwined over and over again. 

 

The beginning of a series of more wonderful days to come.

 

“Daddy is getting more good morning kisses! That’s cheating!”

 

The two of them pull away with a laugh as their daughters climb onto the bed and seat themselves next to them. Tsuki wriggles her way into Katsuki’s lap this time, placing a single paw in the middle of his chest all while staring at him intently. Eri is the first one to notice that Shouto was crying, immediately bringing her small hands to his cheeks and wiping away the tears with a panicked look in her eyes.

 

“It’s okay, apple pie. These are happy tears.” He holds her hands in his and smiles at her to prove his point. “Papa is just really happy right now.”

 

“Because of the kisses?” Eri asks, tilting her head the exact same way Katsuki does when he’s confused. Shouto laughs and pulls his youngest daughter close into a tight hug. Mahoro follows suit, pulling Katsuki along with her, and soon their second family hug of the day takes place, all while Tsuki is meowing loudly to be set free from the onslaught of warm bodies around her. 

 

“Okay, okay. Tsuki says it’s breakfast time.” Katsuki scoops the cat with one hand and sets her free on the floor. Eri walks with Tsuki out the door with Mahoro in tow, both now talking about what kind of toppings they should put on their waffles. Shouto watches them leave as Katsuki wraps his arms around him from behind. The two of them stay there, just enjoying the quiet comfort of each other’s company, before eventually leaving the bed and following their kids to the kitchen. 

 

Wonderful Day #1.


It’s not everyday that he gets to go out in public without being hounded by the media so Shouto cherishes these rare quiet moments he gets to have while visiting his favorite bookstore. While Katsuki and the kids are in the grocery store, he took it upon himself to get the supplies they needed in the hardware store and other miscellaneous shops in the mall. But Shouto finished running his errands about half an hour ago and decided to reward himself by perusing the bookstore until Katsuki texts him.

 

Despite his very clever disguise of a neon orange beanie and colored contacts, the employees greet him fondly when he enters the store. He’s been a regular here even way before he got famous. It’s nice to see that the staff still treat him the same way, like time has stood still within the walls of the bookstore, and Shouto’s world shifts to a halt until he steps out the door. He gives them a warm smile before he heads to the back to check out what books he could probably buy Eri and Mahoro as a treat.

 

He becomes quite taken with the comic book section. He remembers vaguely Mahoro talking about a manga series everyone has been reading. It’s something about academia. At least Mahoro seems to be taking a liking to higher education already. Just as he’s going through the very extensive manga collection, he accidentally bumps into someone.

 

“Oh! I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Shouto immediately apologizes, bowing a bit to the stranger who just laughs and pats him on the shoulder. 

 

“You’re alright! Accidents happen.” The man gives him a wide and reassuring smile which eases Shouto’s worries. “Looking for something specific?”

 

“My daughter wants to read this new manga series but I can’t for the life of me remember the full title.” Shouto narrows his eyes at the hundreds of manga volumes before him. Sero used to lend him mangas when he and Katsuki first started dating but other than the ones he recommended, Shouto is flying in here completely blind. He could name novels and poetry anthologies off the top of his head but he can’t for the life of him remember the manga his daughter is obsessed with.

 

“You’re in luck then, buddy! I inhale mangas every chance I get.” The man sticks out his hand with an easy smile. “The name’s Keigo.”

 

Shouto takes his hand and gives it a firm shake. He thinks about giving him his first name, but in the off chance that he gets recognized, he has to play it safe. “I’m Shou. Teach me your ways then, sir.”

 

“Oh God, don’t call me sir. That’s reserved for my boss.” Keigo laughs, already picking out a few volumes from the shelf. 

 

They resume browsing the manga section, occasionally chatting about what sorts of stories they’re looking for, and even exchanging recommendations for other types of books. Eventually, Shouto is able to find the first three volumes of My Hero Academia for Mahoro and a limited edition Sailor Moon expansion pack for Eri. Well, he says it’s for Eri, but it’s mostly for Katsuki.

 

“D’you mind accompanying me to the poetry section?” Keigo asks once Shouto is satisfied with his findings. “I heard that my boss’ favorite poet released a new anthology and I wanna see if they got some copies left.”

 

“You’re in luck then,” Shouto gives Keigo a warm smile. “I’m an expert in poetry.”

 

Just as they walk over to the poetry section, Keigo immediately spots the newly re-stocked display of the featured author of the month. Shouto stops in his tracks and stares as Keigo grabs a copy with a large grin on his face. The book in his hands looks awfully familiar…

 

“Shouto Bakugou’s Found Family! God, this was sold out in every other store I went to.” Keigo walks back to Shouto, smiling all the way. Shouto is shocked speechless. He can’t even think of what to say because that is indeed his poetry anthology in Keigo’s hands. “Looks like you’re my lucky charm, Shou!”

 

“U-Uh… Yeah!” Shouto shakes his head, trying to clear his mind of all the thoughts going through his head. “Glad you were able to get a hold of it. It’s a fine anthology.” 

 

“Well, you’re the poetry expert so I’ll take your word for it.” Keigo elbows him playfully. “Ready to check out?”

 

Soon, the two of them leave the bookstore together with their purchases, and Keigo says he’ll wait at the nearest coffee shop as his boss will be picking him up. At the exact same time, Katsuki texts him that they’re leaving the grocery store and are about to head to the pizza place on the second floor. 

 

“It’s been a pleasure to keep you company, Keigo-san.” Shouto shakes Keigo’s hand again. “I do hope we run into each other again.”

 

“The pleasure’s all mine!” Keigo walks away with a large grin, waving at him cheerfully as he retreats. “Take it easy, Shouto.”

 

Shouto doesn’t even have the time to process what Keigo said before a tiny body rushes in and slams against his legs in a flurry of giggles. Shouto looks down to see Eri trying to poke her face into the paper bag in his hand from the bookshop and he bends down to carry her in his arms before she could find out what’s in it. Katsuki catches up to them with Mahoro in tow, grumbling about how these girls are going to run him into an early retirement.

 

“Hey,” Katsuki places his hand on Shouto’s lower back, effectively bringing his attention back to him. “Did something happen?”

 

Shouto looks back in the direction Keigo went to, trying to process what has happened in the past half hour. He knew there was something about Keigo that felt familiar but… something inside him also tells him that this isn’t something worth looking into. He doesn’t quite know what that something is but it’s a deep gut feeling that says he’d be better off forgetting about it.

 

“Nothing.” Shouto eventually says, placing a kiss on Katsuki’s cheek. And that’s what it is, really. It was nothing. It was a fleeting conversation with a stranger who was both familiar and mysterious. Soon he’ll remember where the name Keigo came from, when the world is quiet and the moon is high in the sky, but for now… it’s nothing.

 

Maybe nothing is a wonderful thing.

 

There’s this antiquated notion that wonderful days should be filled with purpose. That they should be as significant as trophies on a shelf. But Shouto has stopped counting achievements as wonderful. Instead, it’s on days like this, where he goes grocery shopping with his family, and where he meets an odd friend at a bookstore, that makes life so incredibly wonderful for him. 

 

For even the smallest of chance encounters can be extraordinary. 

 

Shouto’s lived a fantastically extraordinary life so far.

 

And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Notes:

I just want to thank my lovely partner Luke for making those gorgeous drawings for the fic! He could have easily just done one big piece but he gave me four!! And they're all so goddamned lovely. Everyone go follow Luke @carofnerds on twitter and give him all the love! He's a wonderful first time big bang partner for BNHA and I wouldn't have had it any other way <3

Thank you as well to the mod team of SubZero Big Bang for creating this event! It's going to go down in my book as my favorite BNHA event ever. Thank you for giving us such a safe and loving space to meet friends, create beautiful works, and strengthen our love for todobaku <3

I have a lot more projects coming up in the next few months so please do look forward to them! I am always so grateful for everyone who reads my stuff <3

Series this work belongs to: