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All The Words That I Know

Chapter 6

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(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

There's a groan from behind him as Taehyung throws another shirt over his shoulder. "Taehyung-ah," Yoongi begins, voice gentle. Taehyung glances behind him, seeing Yoongi sitting at the edge of his bed, peeling Taehyung's discarded shirt from his head. "You're overthinking this."

"Says you," he huffs. "I saw how long it took you to choose your socks for your first date with Namjoon."

Yoongi grumbles something unintelligible but doesn't argue further. Taehyung returns to his closet, digging among his shirts to find something decent. Why do so many of his shirts have random stains? And why are all of them so stupid?

"This is hopeless," he says eventually, walking backwards until he can sit next to Yoongi on the bed. "All of my clothes suck."

Yoongi snorts and pats his thigh. "You'll be fine, Tae, Jimin's already seen all of your clothes already anyway."

"Oh God." Taehyung drops his head into his hands. "You're so right, I should have gone shopping."

Groaning again, Yoongi heaves himself off the bed and crosses to Taehyung's closet. "I'll find you something, you're being ridiculous."

Taehyung probably shouldn’t be so nervous, halfway on his way to a panic attack as he gnaws on his thumbnail. But this seems… God it's a lot.

It's been three days since Jimin's been back, since Jimin showed up on his doorstep and they had the opportunity to talk. They had talked for hours, hands clasped together. It was refreshing, and eye opening. Taehyung finding that his longing glances had been returned, his desperate wishes had been Jimin's as well. Eventually, when they'd cried themselves out, they had moved to Taehyung's bedroom. It felt amazing to have Jimin in his bed again, cuddled against him, sweet and warm. And they had whispered together, noses touching, before moving into kissing.

Soft, sweet kisses, chaste and quiet as they clung to each other. They didn't go any further, didn't do anything but kiss and hold each other. It was only when their lips were aching and sore and they could barely stay awake, that they reluctantly broke apart. And then - bliss. Jimin tucking his head under Taehyung's chin, one hand fisted in the t-shirt just over Taehyung's heart. Taehyung buried his nose in Jimin's hair, breathed him in, and held him tightly.

When he woke in the morning, Jimin was still there, curled against him, sleeping soundly. And it was perfect, as Taehyung smiled into his hair and Jimin squeezed him tight, tight, tighter. "I love you," Jimin had whispered, voice rough from sleep and tears, and tilted his head to kiss Taehyung good morning.

So now, here Taehyung is, three days later, clothes strewn about his room, head in his hands. "Taehyung-ah, what if Jimin wants to come over after, shouldn't you pick this mess up?"

Taehyung stiffens, sitting up ramrod straight and gazing at Yoongi with wide eyes. "Do you - do you think he'll want to?" They've agreed to take things slow, get used to the transition from friends to something more together. Figuring things out will be confusing, Taehyung knows that, so agreeing to take their time feels important.

And tonight, they're going on a date. Their first date. Of course they've gone out to dinner, lunch, all sorts of places together. But never like this, not on a date. Taehyung is going on his first date with Jimin and he wants it to be perfect. Needs it to go well.

"It's alright," Yoongi says soothingly, seeing Taehyung start to panic. "Let's not think about that right now. How about this? " Yoongi holds up a white shirt and a denim jacket.

"That's it?"

Yoongi frowns at him. "You're not going to the fucking opera, Taehyung. You're going to that shitty pizza place you two weirdos love so much. Wear this with your black skinny jeans and I'll lend you my leather Vans, alright?"

Taehyung appraises the outfit and finally nods. "You think it'll be enough?"

Yoongi smiles at him. "Jimin won't care what you're wearing, Tae, he just wants to see you. You could show up naked and he -" Yoongi cuts himself off as Taehyung's eyes widen. "Never mind!"

With the realization that his feelings are returned, Taehyung has been thinking about Jimin in, well, less platonic ways. Of course he has done this before, but some of those thoughts have strayed into potentially dangerous territory. Territory he usually only lets himself occupy when drunk. But now those thoughts find him in the shower or when he's alone in bed, thoughts of Jimin's pretty lips, his toned stomach, his muscular thighs.

"I'm going to take a shower," Taehyung says quickly, standing and fisting his hands at his sides.

Yoongi snorts, shaking his head. "I'll pick up a little, don't take too long."

Taehyung takes a shower, a cold shower, and tries to relax. He tries to let the water wash away his nerves, swirling his nervousness down the drain and away. It helps a little, to stand and breathe deeply for a few minutes. He tries to remind himself that it's just Jimin he's going on a date with. But there's no such thing as just Jimin.

When he returns to his bedroom, most of his clothes have been put away and Yoongi has laid out his outfit for him. "Thank you, hyung," he calls loudly, receiving a grunt in return through his closed door. He dresses quickly, pausing to wonder if the white t-shirt is a mistake with the greasy pizza, but decides not to question it.

"You look very handsome, Tae," Yoongi offers a few minutes later.

Taehyung is standing in the bathroom, combing his hair in the mirror while Yoongi hovers in the doorway. "Thank you, Yoongi hyung."

"How do you feel?"

The slightly ragged state of Taehyung's fingernails should be enough of an answer to that. He meets Yoongi's eyes in the mirror and offers a shaky smile. "Okay."

"You're going to be fine. Are you excited?"

"I -" Taehyung cuts off. He's terrified, petrified really. But - yeah, he is excited. It's buried under the anxiety, a flutter of warm butterflies in his belly. He's going on a date with the man he's wanted to go on a date with for two years. "Yes. I'm excited."

Yoongi smiles, teeth and gums peeking. "That's my boy." Taehyung scowls at him and Yoongi just laughs quietly. "Everything will be fine. Now come on, if you keep combing your hair it's just going to all fall out."

Dropping his comb with a squeak, Taehyung shoots Yoongi a glare. "I think -" he stops, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. Fishing it out, he looks down to see a new text message from Jimin.

[Jiminie]

I'm leaving now!

Be there in 15

The typing bubbles appear again and Taehyung smiles as a third message comes through.

[Jiminie]

<3

"Jimin is on his way, I need to leave so I'm not late."

Yoongi nods and leads the way into the living room, passing Taehyung a pair of black leather Vans with a green stripe. "Now, remember what we talked about. Just be normal, be yourself. You know how to do this, it's Jiminie."

Taehyung nods along, fighting down a wave of nausea as he ties the shoes. Jimin who he hasn't really seen in four months. What if they have nothing to talk about? What if they don't even know how to talk anymore? Taehyung knows those are ridiculous thoughts, they've been talking nonstop since Jimin's been back. But he can't help it, he's anxious.

"What if I embarrass myself and he realizes this is a mistake?"

Pulling him into a tight hug, Yoongi chuckles softly in his ear. "Impossible, even if you embarrass yourself he's not going to care." Yoongi pulls back, keeping hold of his forearms, and smiles reassuringly. "Remember, Jimin loves you."

Jimin loves him. Park Jimin is in love with Kim Taehyung. In love love. Not platonic friendship love. Romantic love, burning lava and electricity in your veins love. Soulmate love. Taehyung nods and Yoongi lets him go, ushering him to the door.

"Have fun, Namjoon is coming over but text if you need me." He shoves Taehyung out the door just as Namjoon appears from the elevator. "Don't need me," Yoongi hisses, tugging Namjoon into the apartment and slamming the door.

>>><<< 

Taehyung glances up from his phone when he hears footsteps, seeing Jimin approaching on the sidewalk. Their eyes meet and Jimin beams, eyes creasing as he smiles.

"How did you get here before me?" Jimin asks when he stops an arm's length away.

Taehyung will not admit that he practically ran the entire way there. "You're always late, Min."

Huffing, Jimin steps closer. "I tried not to be," he mumbles in pout.

Reaching out, Taehyung hooks an arm around his waist and pulls him in closer. He leans down, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. Jimin's hand comes up to his chest, pressing into his shirt. They break apart and Taehyung smiles down at him. "A for effort."

Jimin pecks his lip and steps back, offering his hand. Taehyung takes it, intertwining their fingers, and lets Jimin lead the way into the restaurant.

It feels good, right, to be sitting together again. They're seated by the window at a tiny table that barely fits both of them. Their feet are tangled together and Jimin is leaning toward him, their hands still clasped on the tabletop.

"I've missed this pizza."

Taehyung snorts. "I'm sure you had awesome pizza in New York, you can get anything there."

"Yeah," Jimin admits with a shrug. "But it wasn't the same, it wasn't with you."

Taehyung's heart pounds in his chest, he squeezes Jimin's fingers, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. Jimin's hand is so small in his, so tiny and soft as their fingers fit together so perfectly. It's easier than Taehyung expected to talk to Jimin again, easier to let himself relax and just enjoy the company of his best friend, the person he loves most.

"Can I come to the photo lab with you tomorrow?" Jimin asks after they order pizza. "I miss helping."

They both know that Jimin isn’t much help, but Taehyung has missed having him there. Missed Jimin in the corner, legs kicking against the cabinet as he perches up high to watch. Taehyung wants that again, but this time he'd like to stand between Jimin's legs and kiss him while he sits on the cabinet. Press Jimin into the wall and lick into his mouth, prints and negative forgotten because Jimin is too addicting.

"I'd like that. Maybe you can model for me next weekend if you're free?" He already has more than enough pictures for his final project, but they're not pictures of Jimin.

"I always have time for you."

They smile at each other then, both of them grinning shyly across the table. Taehyung wants to leave, forget about the pizza and take Jimin home so he can kiss him for hours. He's a few seconds from suggesting it when their pizza arrives and they separate, hands detangling.

The moan Jimin lets out when he takes the first bite of the pizza - double-dough, double-cheese, of course - is frankly pornographic. Now that Taehyung sort of can see and have Jimin in a capacity where there is a real possibility he will hear those moans… well, he can't be blamed for the way his jeans suddenly feel a little tight. Especially when he can imagine Jimin making sounds like that when they're cuddled up in Taehyung's bed.

"Good?" he manages to ask, taking a bite of his own slice.

Jimin nods, stretching the slice away to break the cheese. "I missed this."

Taehyung knows he doesn't just mean the pizza. Taehyung knows because he feels it too, he also missed this. Jimin is no longer fourteen hours away, no longer continents away. Jimin is here, across the table from him, hooking his ankle around Taehyung's and smiling with a mouthful of cheese. There has never been anything more right and perfect than this. He is aware that they're doing something they've done a hundred times, but it's different now. It's different because they're different, their relationship is different. They're nearly done with their pizza, talking happily, when they’re interrupted.

"Jimin-ah!"

They both turn, eye contact breaking, at the sound of a voice. A group of three men has approached, clearly other students in the dance program at their university. Jimin smiles at them, wiping his hands on his napkin. "Hey guys, good to see you."

Jimin stands and they all hug him, asking about his time in New York. He's kind and sweet, but he keeps shooting glances at Taehyung. One of the dancers seems to notice.

"Are we interrupting, Min?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. "This is your photographer friend, right?"

Taehyung's heart sinks a little. He's used to being relegated to Jimin's friend in situations like this. He's only known for his photography among Jimin's social circles because it so often features Jimin. Jimin sinks back into his chair and nudges Taehyung's foot under the table, sending him a soft smile.

"This is my boyfriend, Taehyung," he says simply.

The bite of pizza Taehyung has been chewing suddenly feels like too much. He swallows thickly, staring at Jimin with wide eyes. Jimin isn't looking at him now though, he's smiling serenely at the dancers. They look just as surprised as Taehyung and make hasty goodbyes, bowing and scuttling away.

Jimin turns back and catches Taehyung's expression, his own eyes suddenly widen. "Shit, Tae I'm sorry. We haven't talked about - we, um, we didn't - I just..." he trails off, waving his hands in the air between them.

Taehyung licks pizza grease off his lips. "Boyfriend?" he rasps.

"If you - if you want to be my boyfriend? I know we're taking things slow and we should have talked about it but I, well, I want you to be my boyfriend."

Taehyung grins then, wide and boxy. His pizza is forgotten now, he reaches across the table and takes Jimin's greasy fingers in his own. "I want that, too."

Jimin smiles back at him, looking suddenly relieved. "Good." A beat. "I love you."

Taehyung squeezing his fingers, not minding the slippery feeling of pizza grease. "I love you too." Taehyung glances at the table, at the nearly finished pizza. "Want to get out of here?" he prompts. "We could walk in the park?"

Jimin nods eagerly. "Strawberry shake to go?" Another tradition, a strawberry milkshake to go. They'll walk through the park and share it, passing it back and forth. Two straws that they keep straight only because Taehyung chews on his.

When Jimin orders the shake while Taehyung pays, he only asks for a single straw.

>>><<< 

The sun is setting, dusk setting in as the lamps come on in the park. Their path is illuminated by the orange glow, bathing Jimin in honey-colored warmth. His hair glows in the light and his eyes sparkle and flash as he tilts his head to laugh. Their hands are clasped as they walk along the path, fingers threaded together. Taehyung is making a conscious effort not to chew on the straw as they pass the strawberry milkshake between them.

Taehyung is acutely aware of the fact that Jimin's lips have been around the straw. It is a fact that when Jimin passes the milkshake to him, he has just had his mouth on the straw, maybe his tongue. A good ninety percent of Taehyung's waking moments are now consumed with thoughts of kissing Jimin, and this is no different. He wonders if the milkshake would taste even sweeter from his lips.

"Do you want to come to the dance studio with me in the morning?" Jimin asks, swinging their arms gently between them. "I thought I'd go in the morning and get some extra stretching and stuff in. Work out some of this residual jet lag."

Taehyung would like to kiss Jimin in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors.

He feels ridiculous, like a horny teenager who can't get his hormones under control. But Jimin is beautiful and kind and perfect, and Taehyung has wanted this for so long.

"Sure, maybe we can get lunch after? Then go to the photo lab?"

Jimin grins at him, wide and open. "I'd love that. It'll be nice to spend the day together."

It will, an entire day with Jimin. With his boyfriend Jimin. They continue down the path, lapsing into silence as they watch twilight descend on them.

"I'm happy," Jimin says after a few minutes of walking in silence, bumping Taehyung's shoulder with his own.

"Me too."

Happiness, it's weird. Taehyung thought he was happy before, a few months ago, before Jimin left. He definitely wasn't happy while he was gone. But he was happy before that, content at least, with Jimin as his friend. But clearly he didn't know what happiness really meant. Happiness is Jimin in his arms, curled into his chest, pressing featherlight kisses to the sensitive skin of Taehyung's neck. Happiness is kissing Jimin until their lips are sore, their hands linked and bodies pressed close. Happiness is Jimin staking a claim, saying Taehyung is his boyfriend to his friends.

The news will spread and soon the entire dance program will know. From there it will reach the rest of the performing arts department, then visual arts. From there it will snake and expand and stretch across campus until the entire student population knows that Park Jimin, campus crush, has a boyfriend. Until the entire university knows that Park Jimin is dating Kim Taehyung.

They pause at a fork in the path and Jimin throws away their empty cup. When Jimin turns back to him, the lamplight catches on his eyes, illuminating them like stars in the semi-darkness. Molten pools of amber, full of love and affection stare at him. Jimin's lips quirk into a small smile and he pulls Taehyung close by his belt loops.

"You look cute, Taehyungie," he murmurs, looking up through his eyelashes.

Taehyung does not tell him that Yoongi chose his outfit. "So do you, Jiminie." Jimin always looks cute. And in his jeans and purple and white striped sweater he looks especially cute. Small and fluffy, hands nearly disappearing in his sleeves.

Jimin scoots forward, the toes of his white converse bumping Taehyung's toes. "This was a very good first date," Jimin says softly. He lets go of Taehyung's belt loops to slide his hands up his chest, holding the lapels of his denim jacket.

"I think so too," Taehyung agrees. "Maybe the best."

"Almost the best."

Taehyung's hands come up to cup Jimin's hips, squeezing his waist gently. "What could make it better?"

Jimin's eyes crease with the force of his smile and he tugs Taehyung closer. "I could think of a few things."

Taehyung's eyes flutter closed as Jimin pulls him down, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. It's gentle, chaste at first, until Jimin parts his lips and his tongue flicks out. Taehyung doesn't hesitate, tilting his head and opening his mouth to meet Jimin's tongue. It's still gentle, still soft, as their tongues slowly move together. It's sweet, Jimin tastes like the strawberry milkshake and sunlight, warm honey and perfection. Taehyung allows himself to get lost in the feeling, pulling Jimin against him in the middle of the park to taste more of that happiness he so craved.

>>><<< 

Things fall easily into place. They do the same things they did before, Jimin and Taehyung remain Jimin and Taehyung. But now, it’s Jimin and Taehyung who give each other shy, nervous smiles sometimes when their fingers brush. It’s Jimin and Taehyung who kiss at every opportunity. Taehyung is pretty sure his lips are going to be sore forever and that he should just buy all the lip balm at the store. But he can’t help it, kissing Jimin is like nothing else and he can (and will) do it for hours.

When they touch now, when they cuddle, it means so much more. There’s another layer to the affection and the intention. When they’re in the dance studio, Taehyung sitting against the wall while Jimin practices alone or with others, it feels different. Jimin will meet his eyes in the mirror and smile, small and fond. Or he’ll zip over to Taehyung when he has a moment to catch his breath, just to place a slightly sweaty kiss on his forehead or the corner of his mouth.

Jimin comes to the photo lab with Taehyung whenever he can, sitting in the corner while Taehyung develops film and prints photos. He praises Taehyung with soft touches and quiet, genuine words. And he presses kisses, slow and sweet, to his lips whenever Taehyung is near enough. As Jimin’s image blooms in the developer, wide smiles and creased eyes, the same Jimin sits on the cabinet at the side of the studio and smiles just as wide, only in technicolor.

Having Jimin back is perfect, four months felt like an eternity. Taehyung is trying to put the past four months behind them, working hard to put the three weeks where he and Jimin didn't speak in the back of his mind. There are times when it's hard, when he wakes up from a nightmare, soaked in sweat and whimpering. But Jimin is there, holding him close and stroking his hair, kissing the tears from his cheeks and whispering his love. Taehyung has always known Jimin's huge capacity for love, he's felt it, but this is something bigger, nearly overwhelming with the strength of his affection.

Days and weeks blur together, passing in a haze of happiness. A whirlwind of Jimin's lips, Jimin's soft hands, his blinding smiles and bright laughter. They see each other almost every day and sleep at each other's apartments most nights. Taehyung has always hated sleeping alone. He subsisted with the occasional cuddles from his roommate but there's nothing like sleeping with Jimin. Jimin curls around him and snuggles into Taehyung like a missing puzzle piece, slotting perfectly into place, his breath tickling Taehyung's skin.

But with Jimin always spending the night, with them spending so much time together, much of it with their lips connected, there have been a few problems. They're still taking things slow, getting comfortable, and Jimin never pushes, never pressures. But it's getting harder and harder for them to keep their hands to themselves. Every day it's more difficult to stop, to press pause and not stumble over the imaginary line they've drawn. The line looks more and more blurry every day.

Wandering hands have become difficult to rein in, Taehyung's own often straying. It's hard not to slip his hands under Jimin's shirt to run his palms along the soft skin of his back, trace his fingers along his ribs, the toned planes of his abdomen. It's hard not to let his hands dip lower, squeeze into Jimin's plush ass through his jeans or his boxers when they're laying in bed.

It's easy, too easy, to get carried away. Kisses turn hungry and desperate and their bodies move. Hangs grip and pull and hips rut and roll and suddenly Taehyung's seconds away from coming in his pants from rubbing against Jimin's thigh. He pulls back every time, breathless and pink-cheeked, staring at Jimin's hooded eyes and swollen lips. Jimin doesn't push further, will just shuffle slightly away, though Taehyung can feel Jimin's own hardness against him, and tell him it's okay.

And maybe, maybe Taehyung is tired of taking things slow. Maybe he's ready for more, maybe he's ready to take the steps he's been wanting to take for years. He's seen Jimin naked before, mostly accidentally, but not in a way where he could look and touch. And Jimin in his bed, in just briefs and a t-shirt, warm and soft and cuddly, is almost too much. Taehyung wants to slip his hands under the fabric, push it away and appreciate everything underneath. He knows Jimin is ready, he's pretty sure of it, it's all on Taehyung to take the next step.

So he asks Yoongi for advice.

>>><<< 

"You want me to tell you how to fuck your boyfriend?" Yoongi raises an eyebrow, peering at him warily from the other end of the couch.

Taehyung scowls and shakes his head, he knew he'd fuck this up. "No, I just - I don't know how to make a move." And Taehyung doesn't entirely care about the logistics, sure he'd love to fuck Jimin, squeeze and pound into that perfect peachy ass. But he'd also like to see Jimin's sculpted thighs put to use, love to feel Jimin take him apart with fingers and tongue, love for Jimin to fuck him into the mattress.

"You're an adult, Taehyung. You've had relationships before, you've had hookups. This has never been a problem before."

Taehyung knows that. He has game, or whatever you want to call it. He can get dates, take people home if he wants to. But he is usually drunk, and also has no idea where that confidence comes from. And this isn't a game, this isn't hookups that he'll never see again. This is Jimin, the love of his life. And Taehyung does not want to fuck this up.

"This is different," he mumbles, digging his toes into the carpet beneath his feet.

Yoongi sighs and scoots closer, placing a hand on Taehyung's arm. "I know, I'm sorry. This is big and new. Have you guys talked about it?"

"Not really." Taehyung shrugs. Taehyung has felt embarrassed by his constant erections whenever Jimin kisses him for more than a couple minutes. It's felt too ridiculous to talk about and Taehyung hasn't known how to bring up that he's ready. He kind of hoped Jimin would just figure it out and make a move. But Jimin is respectful and kind and infuriatingly good at not crossing boundaries.

Taehyung wishes he would cross them just a little.

"Well, you should talk about." He pauses. "Or make a move?"

Taehyung snorts. "Like you did with Namjoon?"

"Hey, it worked." Yoongi chuckles softly. "Do whatever feels right, yeah? Do you guys have plans soon?"

"He's going to come over tonight, it's um, it's our one-month anniversary. Sort of. We were going to get takeout and watch movies or something. Maybe build a blanket fort."

Yoongi scrunches up his nose. "You guys are so disgustingly cute. This is so on brand for you. This must be every one of your fantasies coming true, you're going to fuck Jimin in a blanket fort."

"That would be the dream, yes."

Yoongi collapses against him, wheezing with laughter. "Okay, okay. How about this: I help you build a fort on your bed and I go stay at Namjoon's tonight."

"You'd do that?"

Yoongi shrugs. "Maybe I want to hang out in a blanket fort for a bit too, it sounds kind of fun. Especially before you sully it."

"I'm an excellent fort builder, I'll give you some tips and then you can build one for Namjoon hyung."

Yoongi snorts. "If anyone, I will be the master builder here. Also, Namjoon is much too clumsy and gangly for a blanket fort. He'd manage to suffocate me - hey, don't laugh, I'm serious!" He slaps at Taehyung's arm as Taehyung falls against the arm of the couch, laughing loudly. "You suck, come on or I'll take back my offer."

Taehyung feels better, as he follows Yoongi down the hallway toward his bedroom. He knows Yoongi's just trying to distract him, take away the nervousness and make it fun. Taehyung shouldn't be as nervous as he is. Neither he nor Jimin are virgins, far from it. They both have experience, they're both healthy young adult men who (at least in Taehyung's case) really want to have sex. Taehyung just needs to work up the courage to make it happen.

"I'll lend you some blankets," Yoongi says as they survey Taehyung's bed. "But I expect them to be thoroughly washed before you return them."

>>><<< 

"I am very impressed, baby," Jimin coos, leaning over to pat Taehyung's lips with a napkin. Taehyung preens at the pet name and at the way Jimin swipes sauce from his lips. "This is amazing."

Taehyung grins, catching Jimin's wrist to press a kiss to his knuckles. "I worked very hard."

"Just you?"

Taehyung smiles wider. "Just me."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "I definitely believe you." He leans in and pecks Taehyung lips before sitting back and picking his chopsticks out of his takeout container and continuing to eat. "But really, I love this."

Taehyung is very pleased, especially seeing how happy Jimin is. Yoongi was, of course, the master builder. They had managed to rig something from the bedposts and various anchor points around Taehyung's room. The canopy they had constructed is perfect, draped blankets creating a cozy cave that Taehyung has strung with fairy lights. His laptop is at the end of the bed, a movie playing as they sit facing each other, eating their takeout. The roof of the fort is high enough that neither of them have to stoop and it's comfortable, intimate.

It's romantic and fun and Taehyung feels more and more ready with each passing moment. Being with Jimin, just the two of them, barely paying attention to the movie because they're too busy talking and staring at each other, it helps him feel certain. Jimin is beautiful and perfect and Taehyung wants everything, wants to give him everything. The lube and condoms he carefully tucked under a pillow for easy access are at the forefront of his mind.

"I just wanted to do something special," Taehyung admits.

Jimin smiles again, looking so fond. "I didn't realize you were so romantic, Tae."

"You deserve romance." Taehyung watches Jimin smile again, his cheeks pinkening as he busies himself with eating more of his noodles.

When they've finished eating, Taehyung takes their containers and sets them outside the shelter of their cocoon. He turns back to find Jimin laying on his back, staring up at the lights strung along the sheet above them. Jimin turns his head as Taehyung crawls back toward him, holding out a hand to beckon him closer.

Taehyung doesn't hesitate, climbing over Jimin's body and caging him in with his arms and legs braced on the bed. He stares down at his boyfriend, feeling in awe. Jimin's eyes twinkle from the lights and his blonde hair fans across the pillow, fluffy and messy already. He's in jeans and a t-shirt, the hem of which has ridden up to expose a sliver of tanned stomach.

"You okay, baby?" Jimin asks, bringing up a hand to cup Jimin's cheek.

"Yeah, just -" he breaks off, shakes his head. "You look beautiful."

Jimin giggles. "You're not helping me with my ego problem." Jimin's hand slides to the back of Taehyung's head, fingers tangling in his hair as he tugs him closer.

"Maybe it's deserved," Taehyung whispers before he allows Jimin to guide him into a kiss.

It starts slow, Taehyung slowly lowering himself until he's pressed flush against Jimin's body. Their lips move easily together, this is familiar now. Jimin's hands carding through his hair and running along his back are also familiar. It is no longer as scary, no longer as shocking. But just because it's not as scary, it doesn't mean it's not as overwhelming. Taehyung's belly still erupts with butterflies, his skin still tingles and his mind whirls.

Taehyung pulls back after a few minutes, propping himself on his elbows. "We should talk."

"That sounds ominous."

Taehyung nudges their noses together. "It's not, I -" he grimaces. "I'm not good at this."

Jimin runs his hands soothingly up and down his back. "What is it, Taehyungie? You know you can talk to me about anything."

He can, he always can. Jimin makes him feel safe and comfortable, he doesn't need to be nervous. "I'd like to do -" he licks his lips. "I'm ready for more."

Jimin's eyebrows disappear into his fringe and his eyes flash. "More?"

"I'm ready, I know we said we'd take things slow but I feel like I'm going to explode if we keep -" Taehyung words are cut off by Jimin pulling him back down, their lips crashing together. This one isn't slow and gentle, it's heated and hungry. Jimin's teeth nip at his bottom lip and Taehyung whines.

Taehyung lets out an undignified squeak as his world shifts and tilts and suddenly he's on his back, Jimin hovering over him, grinning. "I want more, too, baby. Tell me what you want."

It takes him a moment to get his bearings, realizing that Jimin has just easily flipped them. The thought itself does something to him, has heat shooting through his veins and pooling in his belly. Jimin is small and petite, it's easy to forget that he's strong. Taehyung swallows, trying to calm his racing heart and refocus. "You," he croaks. "Anything, Jiminie." He brings up his hands, sliding them under Jimin's sweater to run his fingers over smooth skin. "Just want you."

Jimin smooths Taehyung's bangs from his eyes. "You have me." He studies Taehyung's face, as if he's confirming, trying to make sure. "Can I touch you?"

Taehyung nods, not sure he can form the words to respond. It must be enough for Jimin because he's leaning in to kiss him again. Taehyung gasps, not expecting the feel of Jimin's hand sliding beneath his shirt. Goosebumps pebble his skin as Jimin rucks up his shirt, shoving it up his torso to his armpits. He nudges Taehyung's head to the side with his nose and begins kissing down his neck, nipping and licking at his skin. Taehyung lifts slightly as Jimin tugs his shirt over his head.

"You're so hot," Jimin rasps as he continues his trail downward. He shimmies down the bed, hands dragging along Taehyung's sides as his lips press to Taehyung's chest. Taehyung arches off the bed, moaning as Jimin's tongue flicks over one of his nipples. "So sensitive," Jimin purrs, his breath ghosting over his nipple makes Taehyung shiver.

Taehyung can't stop his giggle when Jimin's tongue dips into his belly button. Jimin glances up, giving him a devilish smile as he presses soft kisses to his belly. Taehyung tries to smile back but he's too focused on the feeling of Jimin's hands on the fastenings of his jeans. Jimin's fingers popping the button and pulling down the zipper. 

It would be a lie to say that Taehyung has never thought about Jimin’s lips around his cock. Jimin’s lips are amazing, he’s always known that, but now he has firsthand experience with them. They’re plush and soft, warm and sweet, and skilled. Skilled when they kiss and most likely skilled on other parts of his body. Taehyung jerks, gasping as Jimin tugs at his jeans and his lips press against his cock through his boxers. Warm wetness seeps through the cotton as Jimin mouths along his length, those sinful lips feeling amazing even through a layer of fabric.

“Jimin-ah.” Jimin’s name falls from his lips as Jimin sucks at the head of his cock through his underwear. “Please.”

Jimin pulls back and smiles at him. “This is okay?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods jerkily, hands clenching in the sheets. Jimin’s fingers curl beneath the waistband of his boxers. “It’s okay.”

Jimin tugs his pants and underwear off his legs, tossing them toward the end of the bed. He settles between Taehyung’s legs, his hands sliding up his thighs. Taehyung shivers at the touch, Jimin’s smooth fingers tickling the insides of his thighs as he leans in, nuzzling against Taehyung’s groin.

Eyes fluttering closed, Taehyung groans when Jimin’s hand curls around the base of his cock. Jimin’s hand is small, with petite fingers that can just barely meet around his girth. Taehyung lets out a shaky breath, trying to brace himself, but it’s not enough. He cries out, hips jumping involuntarily, when Jimin’s lips press to the head of his cock. Jimin chuckles softly and does it again, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses from base to tip, tongue flicking out to tease. Taehyung can feel himself beginning to shake, the stimulation not enough and too much all at once as Jimin laves his tongue over him. 

When Jimin’s lips close around the head of his cock, tongue swirling as he begins to sink down, Taehyung sees stars. There’s no way he’s going to last. Jimin’s plush lips and sweet tongue feel like heaven on him. He’s only had his hand in the shower for the past month and that does not compare at all to the perfect wet heat of Jimin’s mouth. He hollows his cheeks as he begins bobbing his head and Taehyung can feel drool dripping onto his balls. His body is on fire, veins filling with electric sparks as his toes curl and he tries not to explode.

He lifts a hand to card through Jimin’s hair, the soft blonde strands catching on his fingers. He tugs lightly and Jimin moans, the vibrations sending heat snaking through Taehyung’s body. Jimin seems to redouble his efforts then, bobbing his head in earnest as his tongue swirls along Taehyung’s length. What he can’t take with his mouth he strokes with his hand, Jimin’s saliva easing the slide. He cracks his eyes open when Jimin pulls back a little, suckling at the head, and the sight nearly sends him over the edge.

Jimin is watching him, eyes dark and hooded, a little teary. His lips are stretched taut around the head of Taehyung’s dick, the plush flesh swollen and pink, lips and chin coated with saliva. Jimin blinks up at him through fluttering eyelashes and Taehyung whimpers, barely able to comprehend the sight of this perfect angel sucking his cock. Heat is swirling in his gut, his balls tightening as Jimin moans again. 

“Jimin-ah, please, don’t wanna come yet.” He fists his hand in honey-blonde strands and tugs, pulling Jimin off of him with a pop. Jimin pulls away reluctantly, propping himself on his elbows and licking his lips. “Come up here.”

Jimin complies, crawling up Taehyung’s body to reconnect their lips. Taehyung can taste the faint saltiness of his precum on Jimin’s tongue as he licks into his mouth. “Wanted to make you feel good,” Jimin murmurs, nuzzling their noses together.

“You did,” Taehyung reassures him. “Wanna make you feel good too, okay?”

Jimin nods as Taehyung tugs off his shirt and begins working at the fastenings of his jeans. “You didn’t come though, baby.”

“Told you,” Taehyung murmurs, attaching his lips to Jimin’s neck. “Don’t wanna come yet.” Jimin arches his neck and sighs as Taehyung nips along his throat. “Wanna come with you inside me.”

Jimin gasps, back arching as the heel of Taehyung’s palm presses into his cock through his boxers at the same time as he speaks. “Taehyung,” Jimin groans, squeezing his eyes closed. “You’ll kill me.”

Taehyung laughs and shuffles them around until Jimin is on his back and he can tug off his pants and underwear. Jimin is magnificent, all golden tan skin, flawless and beautiful. Toned muscle sculpted from hours of rigorous training, diligent practice. Jimin is perfection from the tips of his toes to the ends of his blonde hair. And his cock is nothing if not perfect as well. Thick and hard, the tip flushed red and already leaking, a string of precum already trailing to his abdomen. 

Taehyung wants to take his time to appreciate Jimin's body, the beauty of his curves and edges, the patches of pretty pink mottling his chest. But he can't wait, can't bear to take his time, not when Jimin's cock twitches on his belly and Taehyung is practically drooling. He's quick to fold himself over Jimin's body and fit his lips over his cock. Jimin gasps, hand flying to Taehyung's head to fist in his hair. Jimin is hot and heavy on his tongue, tasting like clean skin and tangy precum. Taehyung swirls his tongue, desperate to taste more.

Jimin squirms beneath him, his hips giving tiny, aborted thrusts as he tries to keep himself still. "Tae-yah," he groans, "your mouth." Taehyung thinks his mouth probably isn't anything special, not after what he just experienced from Jimin's. But he tries his hardest, hollows his cheeks and sinks down on Jimin's length.

Jimin is thick, his girth stretching Taehyung's lips until they sting a little. His jaw throbs as he sinks lower, an ache that feels right and deserved. He can't wait to feel that ache in his lower back, in his ass. The prospect is enough to have his own cock twitch against the bed, precum leaking to smear against his pelvis.

The sounds Jimin makes are beautiful, high moans and deep groans, breathy gasps. A perfect chorus all put together into the sweetest song Taehyung has ever heard. Jimin's thighs tense, his body quivers and shakes as he gasps and writhes beneath Taehyung's ministrations. It feels good, to know how much pleasure he's giving Jimin, to know he's making Jimin gasp and whimper from his mouth and tongue.

Taehyung focuses, trying to relax his throat so he doesn't gag. When he pulls back a bit, giving more attention to the tip, Jimin's hand slides from his hair to his cheek. He thumbs at the corner of Taehyung's mouth, hooded eyes fixed on the way Taehyung's lips stretch around his cock, at the mess of drool on his chin.

"You look so good, baby," Jimin rasps, tracing the outline of Taehyung's lips. "Making me feel so good." Jimin groans as Taehyung tongues at his slit. "Too good, come on, baby." He shifts and uses his other hand to guide Taehyung from his cock. Taehyung pulls back, wiping his mouth as he sits up on his knees.

He stares down at Jimin, who seems to be trying to catch his breath. His chest heaves, mottled pink and dewy with sweat. "I, um, there's lube under the pillow."

Jimin raises his eyebrows and slips his hand under his pillow, withdrawing it to show lube and a condom in his grasp. "You planned this?" Taehyung nods and Jimin pushes himself up until he's sitting. "Come sit." He pats his lap and Taehyung obeys, fitting his legs on either side of Jimin’s and bracing himself on his shins.

"I'll be gentle," Jimin murmurs as he slicks up his fingers. His free hand skates up and down Taehyung's back as his wet fingers slide between Taehyung's cheeks. "Just relax for me." Jimin's lips close over the skin of his throat and Taehyung melts as lips and tongue tease at his skin. He sighs, chin falling forward as Jimin's finger slides into him.

Jimin's fingers are short, but they're thick and skilled. It doesn't take long until Taehyung is whining, two of Jimin's fingers thrusting in and out of him. Taehyung can't help but follow them, rolling his hips to fuck himself down on Jimin's hand. Jimin's mouth is attached to his collarbone, sucking a bruise into his skin as his fingers scissor and stroke along his walls. Taehyung groans, hips stuttering as Jimin slides in a third finger. His cock bobs between them as he moves up and down on Jimin's lap, precum trailing in translucent strings to connect their bodies.

"You look so good like this," Jimin growls into his ear, teeth nipping at his earlobe. "Never thought I'd have this, you're so perfect. I love you so much."

Taehyung whimpers, clenching involuntarily around Jimin's fingers at his words. He never thought he'd have this either, never thought he'd have Jimin like this, be able to experience this. And it's only the beginning, only a first in what can, and will, be many times. Over weeks and months and years, time for them to map the lines of each other's bodies. Time to learn what makes the other gasp and moan, writhe and beg for more. Taehyung can't wait to find out, can't wait to lick and fuck Jimin's perfect ass, have him crying and begging. But now, all Taehyung wants is Jimin inside him, making him feel full and complete.

"Jiminie," he murmurs, face pressed to Jimin's shoulder. "I'm ready, want you."

Jimin's fingers still inside him and slowly slide out. "Okay, baby. Let me get the condom, can you shift?"

Taehyung's limbs feel like jelly but he shifts off Jimin's lap and props himself on his hands and knees, head hanging down between his arms. He hears the tearing of the condom wrapper and then Jimin's hand, warp and firm, gripping his hip. "Baby, not like this."

Lifting his head, Taehyung looks over his shoulder to see Jimin studying him. "What?"

Jimin's eyes travel over the curve of his spine, the swell of his ass. He's stroking himself as he stares at Taehyung, eyes hungry, but he shakes his head. "Turn over, I wanna see you."

Taehyung's heart clenches in his chest, his breath hitches. Everything feels big and important and a little bit scary. He rolls onto his back and Jimin moves between his legs. He slides one of Taehyung's throw pillows beneath his hips and smooths his hands over Taehyung's thighs.

"Is this okay?" Jimin asks, gently lifting one of Taehyung's legs and pressing it up and out.

Taehyung licks his lips, swallows around what feels like a stone in his throat. "Yeah, wanna feel you." He does, this is all he's wanted for two years. Not the sex, not something as simple as that. But a moment like this, when Jimin stares into his eyes and Taehyung can see the love mirrored there. A moment where it's just the two of them, the rest of the world fading away, and nothing else matters. All Taehyung needs to focus on is the way Jimin is guiding himself to his rim, the way Jimin's cock is pressing against his entrance. All he needs to focus on is the heat beneath his skin, the butterflies swirling in his stomach, the love pulsing through his heart.

Jimin groans and his teeth sink into his bottom lip as he breaches Taehyung's entrance. Taehyung fights to keep his eyes open, the urge to close them, to throw his head back and moan at the ceiling, is nearly overpowering. But he hangs on, his hands fisting in the sheets, as Jimin sinks into him. He watches Jimin's face, the tic in his jaw, the way his lashes flutter, as he moves slowly, centimeter by centimeter. He's breathing harshly through his nose and Taehyung can see sweat beading at his temples, see the pinch between his brows as he focuses.

He's never looked more beautiful.

Taehyung finally lets his eyes slip closed when Jimin is fully sheathed inside him. There's only a little bit of a burn, Jimin's fingers not quite as thick as his cock. But it feels good, the stretch feels amazing and Taehyung feels so full, complete. Jimin filling him perfectly, touching places deep inside of him. The fingers of one hand squeeze Taehyung's hip while the others still hold his leg up and open.

Swallowing hard, Jimin's lashes flutter again and his eyes open. He blinks a few times, cloudy gaze clearly, and then he focuses on Taehyung. "Okay?"

"Okay," Taehyung confirms. "You can move."

Jimin nods and shuffles a little, shifting on his knees. "Tell me if it's too much."

Taehyung doesn't think it could be too much, it's so overwhelming that he feels like he's going to explode, but he wants that, needs that. Jimin pulls back and rolls his hips, pressing back into him, and Taehyung gasps, mewling embarrassingly loudly. Jimin's cock drags along his walls as he rolls his hips slowly. Deep, purposeful strokes that just barely graze Taehyung's prostate and make him feel like he's filled with fire.

With their bodies connected, Taehyung feels like he finally has everything he's craved. Jimin loves him like he always wanted, Jimin wants to be with him, and here, as they seal their relationship with pants and gasps, sweat and the slap of skin, it feels real and right.

Jimin shifts, gripping Taehyung's other thigh and pressing them both together and up, folding Taehyung's legs against his chest. Taehyung's hips press upward and he keens, head lolling back against the pillow, as the new angle causes Jimin's cock to hit his prostate dead-on. Jimin curses softly as Taehyung clenches around him, then he's dipping down, pressing against Taehyung's legs and straining to connect their lips.

It's difficult, Taehyung cranes his neck up and their lips meet at an awkward angle. It's a mess of teeth and tongue, saliva everywhere as they moan against each other's mouths. Jimin's thrusts have sped up, the slap of skin on skin loud as he fucks hard into Taehyung's tight heat. Jimin's hands grip the sides of his thighs and he nips at Taehyung's lips and pants and groans.

A spring is coiling tight in Taehyung's belly, pleasure pulling in from the tips of his fingers and toes as Jimin's hips stutter and falter. Sweat drips down the bridge of Jimin's nose as he tries to keep his rhythm. Taehyung knows that Jimin feels this is just as important, monumental for them, knows Jimin wants to make it good.

But they're both too keyed up, too full of electricity and fire, both so on edge. Taehyung manages to snake a hand between their bodies, past his straining legs to fist his cock. He moans into Jimin's mouth as his fingers close around his neglected cock. It's wet and sticky with precum, pulsing and twitching in his hand. Jimin turns his head, burying his face in Taehyung's sweaty neck as he pounds into him.

"Love you, Tae," Jimin rasps, his lips wet and tickling against the skin of Taehyung's neck. "So much."

Taehyung's vision whites out, the flash of his camera bursts behind his eyes and he tumbles over the edge into bliss. His release paints his stomach and fist as he strokes himself through it. He thinks he screams, or maybe sobs, some kind of desperate cry leaving his lips as his orgasm barrels into him harder than he's ever felt before. Jimin cries out, teeth biting into Taehyung's shoulder, as he finds his own release. Taehyung clenching down on him enough to have him burying himself deep and filling the condom.

Jimin makes a strangled sound, as if he's sobbing too, and presses his face hard into Taehyung's skin as his cock pulses inside him. Taehyung melts into the bed, feeling boneless as Jimin helps him lower his legs back down and collapses against him. Taehyung's thighs burn from the strain but he ignores it, focusing on the way Jimin presses against him.

Their lips meet in a lazy kiss, mouths moving messily together as Jimin nuzzles their noses together. Taehyung lifts his arms, still feeling like jelly, and rubs them up and down Jimin's sweaty back. He traces the ridges of his spine with careful fingers, convincing himself, once again, that this is real.

After a few minutes, Jimin lifts on his elbows, grimacing at the mess of cum smeared across both of their stomachs. "You're messy," he gripes.

Taehyung chuckles, dipping his hands lower to squeeze Jimin's ass. "Your fault."

Jimin flashes a cheeky smile. "I do have that effect, I suppose." Taehyung laughs again and Jimin pecks his lips before slowly lifting up, his cock sliding from Taehyung's hole. Taehyung winces and suppresses a whine, craving the fullness again.

"Be right back, baby," he promises, and scoots out of the fort.

Taehyung is honestly shocked that their blanket fort survived. Maybe it was a good thing he had Yoongi's help, it was surprisingly stable. Taehyung thinks about thanking him, but that might be weird. He stretches lazily, wiggling on the sweaty sheets as he waits for Jimin to return. There's already a dull ache starting in his lower back and Taehyung relishes it, hopes he'll be able to feel it for days. He feels whole for the first time in so long, completely sated and content. All he needs now is -

Jimin pokes his head back in through the blankets and grins.

All he needs is Jimin.

Jimin looks like he's wet his hair a little, it's slicked back off his forehead and tamped down a little. His cheeks are still flushed though, lips still swollen and red. He climbs back onto the bed, ducking under the blankets, and kneels at Taehyung's side. He's gentle and thorough as he cleans him up with a warm cloth, tossing it to the floor when he's done.

Collapsing next to Taehyung, Jimin curls against Taehyung's side and presses a kiss to his shoulder. "How do you feel?"

Taehyung hums, turning his head to press a kiss to Jimin's forehead. "Amazing. You are amazing."

Jimin giggles and scoots closer, pressing the line of his body against Taehyung's side. "You're the amazing one." Jimin smiles at him, squeezing Taehyung's middle. "I'm so lucky." He pauses and kisses his shoulder again. "I'm sorry it took us so long to get here."

"It's not your fault, Jimin-ah."

"It is, at least partly. I was an idiot and I made things so hard for us." He squeezes Taehyung again. "But I have you now."

Taehyung rolls onto his side, pulling Jimin against his chest and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You have me forever."

Jimin smiles, tracing tiny patterns onto Taehyung's chest with his fingers. "Forever sounds perfect." Jimin leans in, and their lips meet again.

Maybe it was all worth it, the pain and tears that led him to this point. Without all of it, maybe he never would have gotten here, had Jimin in his arms. He'd go through it again, if he had to. But if he did, he'd promise to be more honest next time. To avoid the misunderstandings and hesitance and go for what he wants. Because now that he has it, he can't imagine his life without it.

 

Notes:

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