Chapter Text
Izuku jolts awake, his reaction is instantaneous. He’s ripping tubes from his arms. The mask on his face is thrown aside. A rapid beeping fills Izuku’s ears as he tries desperately to free himself from this prison.
“Kid!” There’s someone over him now, trying to do something about Izuku’s trashing.
“Kid, you"re safe! You’re safe.” The voice calls. Izuku opens his eyes. The man over him has blonde hair, and mitch-matched eyes.
“H…Hizashi?” Izuku blinks.
“Hey, Kiddo. You’re okay now.” Hizashi smiled, gently removing his hands.
Izuku blinks. He reaches a bloody, grimy hand up to touch Hizashi’s face. It doesn’t go through. There’s a painful seering in his arm. Wherever he is. It’s real.
Is it? There’s a voice in his brain Izuku doesn’t remember being there before. Where did it come from? But he can’t focus on that. He needs to focus on the illusion- man. In front of him.
Izuku goes to speak, but nothing comes out but a cough.
“You’re probably still not feeling well. Here, have some water.” Hizashi, confident Izuku won’t try and hurt himself further, hands him a glass. Izuku’s hands are shaking bad though, and he promptly spills a bit on himself.
“Oh. Need some help?”
Izuku nods, and Hizashi gently guides the cup to his mouth. The water soothes his scratchy throat, and Izuku wonders how long he’s been out for.
“I love you, Izuku. I’m so glad you"re safe.” Izuku pressed a hand to his forehead. There’s something he’s missing. Something is gone.
“We got really scared. But it’s alright now.” Hizashi smiled.
Izuku remembers something.
Something that never happened. Izuku thinks it’s like before. Before what? Had he felt this before, this remembering? Izuku tries to think. He tries. Nothing comes up. He can’t remember anything beyond… the kitten. Where is he? Where is he?!? If they hurt him he swears to god-
“He’s with Shouta.”
Izuku breaths again.
“I’ll go get him now, okay?” Hizashi says.
“No!” Izuku’s voice is scratchy as he lurches up, grasping onto Hizashi’s wrist. He can’t go. He can’t he can’t he can’t- Hizashi cannot leave. Izuku cannot stop being real again.
“Wow, wow.” Hizashi stops, “you’re gonna dislodge more vital stuff. I’ll just hit the call button, okay? I’m right here.”
Izuku relaxed. So long as they didn’t leave, it was real. So long as they didn’t leave, Izuku was okay. There’s a loud beep, and then… a scattering on the floor. The door swings open. Shouta is standing with Eri at his side. They look happy.
“Big Brother!” Eri rushes over, stopped only by Hizashi.
“Let’s give him some space, okay?” Hizashi says gently, “he’s still really fragile.”
“Kid…” Shouta walks over, “how are you?” Izuku’s voice is scratchy as he tries to speak, and not much comes out.
He signs instead, “ I- I I’m okay!! ”
“You’re awake you’re awake!!!” Eri is jumping, not even seeing Izuku’s hands, “I missed you so much!!!”
“Missed you… too… Eri .” He couldn’t have been out for that long, right?
“You don’t- look great.” Shouta said, “what happened?” Izuku does them all a favor and doesn’t answer.
“Enough, Enough!” It’s Recovery Girl, “Get away from him!”
Hizashi and Shouta looked ashamed and step away from the bed. Recovery Girl pushes forward, kind face crossed with sternness. It softens when she sees Izuku.
“Midoriya, I’m sad to see we’ve made a habit out of this.” Recovery Girl says with a frown, “how are you feeling? Thumbs up or down is alright.”
Izuku gives a thumbs up, but his hand is still shaking. It doesn’t convince the hero, who fusses around him, replacing the IV’s he’s pulled out.
Recovery Girl begins to speak, “I’ve got some things to discuss with you. But for now, we’ll leave it be. I had to plunge a lot of bad junk from you, Midoriya. I can only imagine how confused you must be.” She’s sympathetic. But for what? Izuku can’t even remember what happened. It’s in the past. Who cares. Izuku is fine, now.
“I like your necklace.” Recovery Girl comments. Izuku grips the thing, looking down on it.
Beautiful . His mind supplies, before he even has the chance to acknowledge the quirk-suppressing charm. It’s a golden moon with a sun inside of it. Izuku loves it. He loves it so much.
He realizes what was missing.
It’s a quirk . Whatever this necklace is doing to him, his quirks are gone. Like- completely gone. When he looks around, so are everyone’s. He can’t see them, can’t feel them. He’s quirkless again. And he loves it . He’s living for the feeling. He presses a hand to the rail on his bed. It doesn’t unravel. He’s missed this.
“Izuku… where"d that come from, anyways? Weren’t you wearing…” Hizashi starts carefully.
“It’s mine. ” Izuku blurts with venom he didn’t know he had. It’s far too mean. And yet… Izuku feels so strongly that he can’t take it off. He can"t , he mustn"t.
If he takes it off, something bad is going to happen.
“Of course.” Shouta put a hand on Hizashi’s arm, “no one was going to take it from you, kiddo.”
Izuku relaxes, releasing his death grip on the object. It falls against his chest gently. The beeping beside him slows.
“We were… really scared, Zuku.” Eri whispered, “we found you all bloody on the doorstep. I thought you were dead. It was scary.”
Izuku reaches over, ruffling her hair, “I’m…. sorry…. i’m… Eri…”
“Are you ready to talk? Maybe it’ll make it easier if…” Aizawa speaks, fiddling with his outfit. Out of his capture scarf comes the small cat. He’s been cleaned, and now his hair is a light blue. So he wasn’t a dirt-colored cat. He’s covered in more scars than Izuku remembers, but he rushes over to the boy.
“Tenko!” Izuku gasps, taking the kitten in his arms.
“Tenko?” Aizawa asked.
Izuku grins, holding up the kitten, “Tenko!” The kitten sticks out his tongue, and Izuku giggles, scratching his head affectionately.
“Is that what happened? Did you… chase after…” Hizashi trails off before saying Tenko’s name. If that was the case, Shouta wouldn’t even reprimand him. He did the same often, after all.
“I don’t think so.” Izuku was playing with Tenko, the kitten trying to nab Izuku’s fingers before he moved them away. Izuku looked happy.
“Then, what happened?” Hizashi asks gently, “did you… see anyone?”
Izuku shakes his head, “nope! Just me and Tenko.”
“Izuku…” Shouta looks to Recovery Girl as if for permissions, “do you even remember how we found you?”
It doesn’t matter what happened before. He’s home now, just like he wanted.
“You showed up at my doorstep.” Recovery Girl provided, “Like- at my door. The security cameras showed you walking through the halls. You were pumped full of so many things, I’m not at all surprised you don"t remember. It’s the same kinds of things used for surgeries.”
Izuku should be more curious.
It doesn’t matter what happened before.
“But I’m… okay now?” Izuku asks.
“Not necessarily. I’d recommend a few more days in the hospital with supervision until your memory come back.”
“It wont.” Izuku shrugs, “but who cares? I’m okay now.”
“Kid, don’t you wanna know what happened…?” Hizashi asked
Izuku shrugged. It was in the past. It didn"t matter. The adults seemed deeply concerned by this response. He wasn’t supposed to remember these things. Nothing mattered, if it happened when Izuku was not real.
“Zuku… you’re scaring me…” Eri whispered, as though she could hear his thoughts. It reminded him of a distant time… stop! You’re scaring me ! Rang through his ears, louder than the voice now occupying his head.
“Eri… I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to I- I had to go, I had to run before they caught me!” He apologized, covering his eyes, “I’m sorry…”
Shouta turned quickly at the words.
“Zuku…?” Eri tried.
Remember your promise. They’re going to hate you.
“I won’t tell anyone, I promised…” Izuku muttered, pulling himself closer, “its okay now. It’s in the past.”
“Izuku, kiddo, you’re here. Safe.” Shouta set a hand on Izuku’s arm. A spike of pain, reminding Izuku where he is. Where he is. What’s real. They’re real. Shouta and Hizashi. His real parents.
How disrespectful. The voice chided.
“D-Dad…” Izuku sniffled, reaching out his arms. He’d lurch into his arms if it weren’t for the shit still in his body. He wants it all gone, but can’t risk being yelled at again. He’s used to medical equipment, anyways.
Shouta understands, reaching out and hugging Izuku tightly.
Idiot. The voice chided.
“S-Sho-san… I think… something is wrong… with… me?” Izuku whispered.
“It’s alright.” Shouta assured, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I promise.”
Izuku sniffled. Everything is wrong with you. You don’t need to worry about it. Stop.
“…even if its bad, you’ll… you’ll still love me, right?” Izuku asks with hesitance in his voice.
Shouta’s voice sounded off when he assured Izuku that of course, he would. But of course, he wouldn’t.
Not if they knew what Izuku had done.
There’s two voices, further away.
“He’s asking for you, Tomura Shigaraki. Everytime he wakes.”
“I said I’d never do that. You can’t make me.”
“But…”
“You can have me do anything else, but I’m not fucking going in there.”
“Tomura… please... just this once?”