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It’s pure scientific curiosity that leads him to ask: “Have you heard of the prostate?”
Of course, being a doctor and consummate professional, Pei Huai has studied all the available literature on the subject, both traditional and Western texts. As far as actual practical experience, he has experimented, using his own body as a test subject, with different practices to aid in maintaining a healthy balance of energy. According to the texts, due to his strict maintenance of his diet and sexual habits, his prostate gland is in perfect shape for a man of his age. Tang Yu was pleased to learn of this facet of Pei Huai’s peak sexual functioning, yet worried that if Pei Huai didn’t find another test subject soon, she would develop an envy for the little organ that could make his body fret with just a few presses of the pads of her fingers. She had been joking when she suggested he ask her brother to volunteer his ass for science. Pei Huai knew that it was meant as a joke, and yet―
“Surprisingly, yes.” Tang Fan’s sleeves narrowly avoid falling into the freshly ground ink on the study table. “Brothels are very educational places,” Tang Fan says. “Why do you ask?”
“Are you,” Pei Huai makes a quick gesture with a cupped hand and jerking wrist motion “expelling energy very often?”
Tang Fan’s hands stop abruptly over the xuan paper, ruining the gentle arching stroke of the final character. “Lao Pei, did your face thicken overnight?” He rests the brush on its holder and pinches the ruined calligraphy between two fingers, flinging it directly to the floor. “Why would you ask me that?!”
Pei Huai straightens as if beginning a lecture, right arm folded behind him as he clears his throat self-importantly. “As your doctor―”
“Lao Pei”
“―I just want to make sure your kidneys and qi are in proper order. Sui Zhou cooks you whatever you want and I heard Wang Zhi has been sending up wine and Southern delicacies lately. If your consumption is so lively and your indulgence in sexual release is too frequent―”
“Pei Huai!” Tang Fan yells. “Enough talk of....that! What are you getting at? Look at me! Do I look like I’m slowly dying from excess?”
“Not at this moment, but if you aren’t careful―”
“I’m fine!”
Pei Huai raises an eyebrow. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
“What do you mean?” Tang Fan asks, embarrassed flush receding as his innate curiosity rises. “Checking my pulse? Looking at my eyes and tongue? Fine, have at it, I’m telling you there’s no need to be concerned about this.”
“Actually, I’d like to check your prostate.”
“No way.”
“It’s not just about you, Tang Fan. Your sister is worried.”
“You talked to Jie about my prostate? Lao Pei!”
“Look, all medical discoveries came about through exploration. I’ve explored mine, everything’s great by the way, but I need additional subjects to test out different exercises. And what better person to ask than you, my very best friend!”
“No!”
“Well, the last time I tried to get subjects for my medical experimentation, I was accused of being a serial killer and arrested by the head of your household, so, there’s that.”
“Okay, I still feel really bad about how that went down,” Tang Fan says, “but I’m not exactly sure why I have to be a test subject! Ask someone else! I can definitely talk shixiong into coming in.”
“Official Pan is a bit of an awkward choice, Tang Fan.”
“And I’m not an awkward choice?”
“We’re friends, no, we’re nearly family! Come on Tang Fan, don’t overthink it.”
“Don’t overthink it?” Tang Fan asks incredulously. “Have you met me?”
It occurs to Pei Huai that he has forgotten the ace up his ombre sleeve. “Okay well, can you ask Sui Zhou for me? I’m sure he’ll say yes considering all I’ve done for the two of you, and Dong’er. He has a great sense of loyalty and responsibility.”
Predictably, Tang Fan balks. “Forget it, I’ll do it! Don’t you dare speak a word of any of this to Sui Zhou.”
“Great! Meet me at the clinic tomorrow morning before breakfast. I’m closed for the entire day but I’m sure you want to get it over with early. Don’t forget to clean the rectum with lukewarm water before you leave the house!”
“I will hurt you, Pei Huai! Get out!”
***
In the early Mao Shi hours of the next morning, Tang Fan knocks rhythmically at the wooden doors of the clinic.
“As a reminder, you’re a sociopath and I hate you.” Tang Fan is wearing the soft off-white casual robes he favors when he’s not on duty at Shuntian Prefecture. Pei Huai ushers him over the threshold and into his examination room. Candles flicker with breeze washing in through the closing doors.
“Good morning to you, too, Tang Fan! Did you sleep well?”
“You remember my dear old friend, Wang Zhi? Former leader of the Western Depot? Adept at torture and poisons?” Tang Fan swallows dryly as he removes the outermost layer of his robes and drapes them over the privacy screen. The room has been carefully heated to stave off the morning spring chill. Tang Fan removes his boots, but keeps his socks. Pei Huai has attempted to make the area look less clinical, but Tang Fan has been here too many times and seen too much blood not to see the space for the chamber of life and death that it is.
“Don’t be so dramatic! This is for your physical and spiritual health.”
“Poking around my buttocks is cause for dramatics. It’s a no poke zone.”
“You can’t be serious. I’m Sui Zhou’s poked around plenty.” Pei Huai carries over a fresh basin of warm water, porcelain bottles of oil tucked into his robes, towels tossed over his shoulder. When Tang Fan freezes mid-stride, Pei Huai attributes it to nervousness.
“What.”
“Ah, don’t pretend. We all know the two of you are together.”
“No, wait, let’s pause here for clarification,” Tang Fan says, voice rising with each word. “You said, what?”
“You and Sui Zhou. Romantically involved. Sexually, in addition. Facts that everyone knows.”
“What?!”
“What part is surprising you? I don’t understand.”
Mouth caught open in shock, Tang Fan waves his hands about him as if he is trying to gather his scattered wits back into his embrace. “All the parts! Sui Zhou? I? No, what? No, we haven’t...together. We are not together in any way that isn’t simply living together!”
Pei Huai blinks, once, twice, several times. “What.”
“That’s what I am saying!”
“You and Sui Zhou aren’t dating? Well. That’s definitely unexpected.”
Tang Fan buries his head into his hands. “Oh god, you said everyone knows. So everyone thinks me and Sui Zhou are together. Oh my god, does Sui Zhou know?”
“Know that we all thought you two were together?”
“No, that I.” Tang Fan stops. “Sui Zhou and I are good friends, and that’s fine with me. But if he marries a woman and Dong’er and I have to move out to make room for his new family, I will go and throw myself into a river.”
“Tang Fan, I’m sure if your powers of genius worked at all on Sui Zhou, you’d notice that he’s been in love with you for quite a long time.”
“That’s not it. He needs me. You said it best, Lao Pei.” Tang Fan sighs with nearly enough force to snuff out the candle sitting on the side table. “Cooking for a gourmet like me helps him cope with his trauma. He needs me to heal, but it could have been anyone.”
“Hm, I don’t think his need means he is not wanting. But I suppose it makes sense that you two haven’t communicated your feelings to each other. Sui Zhou isn’t the sharing type and you lack emotional intelligence with the people closest to you.”
“I’m very intelligent!”
“Yeah, you are, which is why you’re being stupid. After we’re done here, I’m forcing you to go talk to him. I’ll know if you disobey doctor’s orders and I’ll be forced to get the higher ups involved.”
“Higher ups?”
“Xiao Yu.”
“Stop using my sister against me!”
“You helped me find love when I thought I was above it. I owe it to you and to Xiao Yu to get you to claim your happy ending.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not wrong, but since you posed the question,” Pei Huai says, considering. “I suppose I’ll throw myself into a river.”
“You’re the worst best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Love you too, buddy.”
***
After their heart to heart, Tang Fan haltingly disrobes from the waist below. Mortification swells as he is arranged by Pei Huai to hold his legs open wide and knees pressed towards his chest. He decides closing his eyes is more dangerous than keeping them open so instead he stares blankly at the ceiling while Pei Huai skims a moist finger over the tense skin of his asshole. The muscles of his entrance startle as his cock takes an interested stance. Budding arousal bullies embarrassment back to whence it came. Tang Fan closes his eyes unconsciously and images dig into the soil of his mind and take root. Fantasizing about Sui Zhou is nothing new to Tang Fan. Fantasizing about Sui Zhou with Pei Huai’s fingers working their way into his body is definitely a marvel experience.
He doesn’t know whether the silence of stifled sounds is preferable to the unfettered ferality of his lust. For all of Tang Fan’s reservations about becoming a test subject for Pei Huai’s anatomical studies, none originate from Pei Huai’s personality. Tang Fan is loath to remember the brief infatuation from their early acquaintance; fresh out of Hanlin Academy and discovering how far affection for men cast beyond that of simple friendship. Pei Huai had been brilliant and beautiful, older and unattainable; every resequite ingredient for ill-advised regard. Luckily, the flames of that passion were quickly smothered by the reality of their developing friendship and Pei Huai’s unshakeable heterosexuality.
Even with Pei Huai scissoring dexterously with a scholarly focus, there isn’t the slightest bit of attraction or arousal in his countenance.
As the moon retires for the arrival of the sun, the cool breeze breaks and the light of the candles intensifies their heat. Tang Fan’s hands slip on the sweat gathering on the backs of his knees.
“If you feel like you’re about to orgasm, let me know, so I can stop it.”
“Huh?”
Pei Huai doesn’t elaborate on that. He changes the angle of his hand and rubs steadily without pause at his prostate. Tang Fan’s legs drop like divination sticks in the hand of a fortune teller, back arching away from the table then pressing back down, hard. Electricity sings along his spine and springs water forth from the corners of his eyes. It’s almost too much stimulation while not being near enough to satisfy.
“Fuck!”
“Close?”
“No, it’s just. I will be if you keep doing that.”
“We can’t have that. Try holding back.” Pei Huai’s left hand hooks under Tang Fan’s right knee, lifting it up and out as a reminder. Tang Fan gains control of his softening legs and brings them back up.
“Why?”
“You shouldn’t spill a drop of essence. There’s a way to redirect the flow and still reach orgasm. I can help you hold back but you should also try not to come.”
“I-I don’t know that I can.”
“I believe in you.”
“Bastard.”
Now that Tang Fan concentrates on not spurting clear across the room like a teenager, he notices the faint sound of knocking above the sounds of civilization waking.
“Aren’t you closed? Who’s knocking?”
“Don’t worry about it. Whoever it is will eventually get the hint.” The sound of creaking proves hints are subjectively defined. Tang Fan presses his legs together in a panic, nearly kicking an ambivalent Pei Huai in the face.
“Lao Pei,” Tang Fan hisses.
“I got this. They won’t come in any further.” Pei Huai keeps the fingers of his right hand buried in Tang Fan while he quickly uses his left to grab the cloth folded over a nearby chair to toss over Tang Fan’s dick. “We’re closed! Sorry for the inconvenience!” Pei Huai shouts. Neither man hears the shuffle of footsteps over packed dirt and stone, nor the creak of a door swinging shut. “There’s another doctor three streets over!”
“It’s me.”
Tang Fan’s spatial awareness stalls. The buzzing pleasure-pain of the repeated press sharpens as Pei Huai drags his fingers in and out with a sophisticated twist that does gets him kicked in the face this time.
“Ouch!” Pei Huai complains. “I’ll handle it, jeez!”
“Pei Huai? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, Sui Zhou! Everything’s peachy! I’m just giving Tang Fan a massage.”
“You fucking crazy bastard! Why did you say that?!”
Sui Zhou’s silhouette darkens the wood-paper doors. “Oh. I figured he was sick if he got out of bed that early and without breakfast to come see you.”
Pei Huai gives Tang Fan a significant glance that goes without notice as Tang Fan’s eyes are unwaveringly focused on the shape of Sui Zhou standing right outside the door.
“Runqing, I only have your best interests at heart.”
Before Tang Fan can question that, Pei Huai draws out with a slick squelch that only now registers to Tang Fan’s ears. He wipes his hands on a towel and from some compartment Tang Fan can’t see from his angle, takes out a colorful length of rope, like the one used to tie back the flowing sleeves of hanfu before taking brush to paper. Tang Fan’s genius has evaporated and floated away somewhere because for the life of him, he cannot figure out what Pei Huai is doing. Once his ankles are bound in a loose hold, he understands enough to begin to struggle.
“Ah, Sui Zhou come in and give me a hand since you’re here!”
Tang Fan’s stomach collapses as the shadow outside the door solidifies into Sui Zhou standing on the other side of the privacy screen. Pei Huai, the horrible friend and crazy mad doctor, pats him on the thigh as he finishes tying his ankles. Tang Fan thinks Sui Zhou will round the corner in that moment, throw a punch at Pei Huai or grab Tang Fan and drag him out, ankles tied and lacking trousers. Sui Zhou does step around the screen, but that’s where things deviate from Tang Fan’s expectations.
Sui Zhou watches Pei Huai pull Tang Fan’s ankles above his head by the rope like a freshly butchered pig on a string. The cloth offering modesty slides away like a handkerchief from the hands of a maiden to her suitor.
“I’m assuming you’ve heard of the prostate?”