Work Text:
Nick “Gay” Carraway was the most homosexual person from 1926. And he didn’t have much competition, since, as we know, the modern gays were not invented until 1969. Yet, despite this fact, Nick was an anomaly like the few of his time: a man in love with another man. How could Nick convey his love without being labeled a “communist”?
Gay Carraway’s neighbor was a strapping young pseudo-trust fund baby in a man’s body. He claimed to be in love with a “Daisy,” but clearly, no straight man could ever appreciate botany. So Nick thought, maybe, just maybe, he might have a chance with the young Jay Gatsby.
One night, Mr. Gatsby hosted what Nick assumed to be a gay rave. But as Nick walked in the door with his booty shorts, he was displeased to find heterosexuals congregating (as they do) in the halls. He asked the creatures if they knew where the host was, but it was to no avail. After wandering in a drunken stupor, Nick ran into a nice young lesbian named Jordan. He had met Jordan before at one of the gay agenda meetings, and he appreciated her wit as a Level 32 recruiter.
“Miss Baker,” Nick asked politely, “You know, I’m in the market for a beard.”
“Nick, that’s quite insulting. Plus, I don’t need a beard.”
“Don’t need a beard?!” Nick cried incredulously.
“That’s right,” Jordan sipped her drink, “I’m going to run off with this girl named Daisy.”
“Daisy?!” Nick spit droplets of alcohol, “If you know Daisy you must know Gatsby!”
“Oh… the otter.”
“Yes!”
“Listen, Nick. I don’t know about him—”
“Please, Jordan. I’m in love with him.”
Jordan sighed and bit her lip in consideration. Her eyes flicked to an unoccupied hall.
“Alright. He’s in the library.”
“Thank you, Miss Baker.”
“Good luck, Twink!”
Nick skipped joyfully to the hallway. It was a good thing he brought his ballet shoes.
The door to the library was intimidating, but Nick’s heart propelled him forward. And then… his eyes fell on Gatsby. His tanned skin was drawn attractively right over his face.
“Oh,” the man spoke in perfect cadence, “Mr. Carraway.” He called Nick’s name in charismatic invitation.
“Mr. Gatsby.”
Suddenly, Gatsby crossed the library and stopped right in front of nick. He put a warm hand on Nick’s shoulder.
Oh.
“Mr. Gatsby?”
“Nick,” Gatsby licked his lips and slowly pushed his face forward. Just shy of Nick’s lips, Gatsby’s mouth flicked off-course and landed right next to Nick’s ear. His warm breath caressed Nick’s lobe as Gatsby whispered:
“Use code CARRAGAY for Free Shipping at https://teespring.com/stores/are-they-gay.”