Chapter Text
Lady Tsunade had been direct and to the point. The surgery could either heal or kill him. It was a 50/50 chance, a toss of a coin, nothing in between. Lee had accepted the risk and his teacher’s reassurance had been enough for his hands to stop trembling in fear and rather clench in determination. He had not taken in account that Gai-Sensei’s promise would cause a discussion that loud.
“So, how are you going to do it?” He heard the question and it made Lee stop in front of the wodden door of Maito Gai’s appartment.
Lee had escaped from the hospital for just a moment to thank his sensei for everything he had done for him, even buying curry for him on the way. But at that moment he couldn't bring himself to knock. He knew that voice, and he probably should wait until Kakashi-Sensei had finished talking with Gai-Sensei, otherwise it would be rude.
“I—”
Kakashi interrupted him and continued and Lee was truly happy he didn’t knock because what he said next made his blood go cold. “Are you going to throw yourself off a cliff? Hang yourself? The old samurai way, perhaps?” His voice trembled slightly at the last question and it didn't even sound like Kakashi’s voice for a second there. The place was completely silent before he continued, voice going back to its usual uninterested tone.
“Might as well tell me now, at least this time I will know what to expect”
There was some shuffling and some steps that Lee had come to recognize as Gai-sensei's, because as distracted and seemingly lazy as Kakashi-sensei walks, Lee knew his steps never produce a sound.
“Rival—”
“What?” The question was thrown like a kunai: daring, not really waiting for an answer.
There was silence and Lee was sure he had stopped breathing before Gai softly said, “If I have to…Neji and Tenten, will you..”
But Kakashi didn't seem to want to hear it because he interrupted him, voice getting louder. “No, no you can’t. I am not making any more promises to dead people again, you won’t do that to me too”
“I can’t leave them alone”
“No, no you can’t” Kakashi repeated it like it was obvious, like he wanted Gai to see his point, like the answer was there as bright as day.
More silence and then, “What of me?”. Its silent, so silent, that Lee had to put his ear close to the door to hear, trying to conceal himself as much as he can with his broken body. “Can you leave me?”
“Kakashi…”
The silence lasted more this time, only the soft noise of the running water and electricity in the building vibrating through the walls. When Kakashi spoke again his voice was soft, drenched with acceptance. “That was unfair, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have…” A step. “I almost left you so many times in the past and now I'm requesting that you don't…As if I had the right...”
Silence.
“Listen Gai, if you decide to die like this, it’s fine. I know it is impossible to change a person’s decision when it comes to death. But please, let me know when you want to do it so I can say goodbye.”
There was the sound of the window opening, the lock snapping and the glass sliding, and then there was silence again.
Lee was left there, scared to even move a muscle, he shouldn’t have come, he—The door was opened suddenly, and the tall figure of his sensei was in front of him, his usual smile was nowhere to be seen, his eyes were…sad.
“Lee! Please come in, aren’t you supposed to be at the hospital?” His voice betrayed any emotion he could have from the conversation that had just taken place.
Lee felt his cheeks burn in shame; he shouldn’t have listened to a private conversation between the two sensei. He stumbled with the words to apologize and instead he presented the bag with the curry order inside and bended at the waist in apology.
“I am sorry Gai-Sensei, I shouldn’t have come, and I should not have heard, but I didn’t want to interrupt and you don’t need to leave Neji nor TenTen nor Kakashi-Sensei, you can recant from your promise, even if I die, because I will die knowing I was taught by the greatest teacher to ever exist. I am not afraid anymore, sensei”
Gai looked at him, his eyes were full of tears and he shook his head softly. “Lee, please come in. You shouldn’t be moving much, you shouldn't even be walking” He took the bag and grabbed him by the shoulders with care, slowly guiding him towards the couch in the middle of the small living room.
Lee couldn't bear to look him in the eyes, but when he was offered a glass of water he gratefully took it and drank it in one go, choking and coughing a bit when he was done. Gai, again grabbed his shoulder to steady him and Lee looked up to meet his teacher’s eyes.
“It’s okay” Gai reassured him, taking the glass from his hand and placing it on the table next to the couch. “And you don’t have to apologize, Kakashi is not angry at you for getting the surgery, neither does he blame you for anything and I have no doubts that if it really came to it, he would look after Neji and TenTen, he is a very caring person, Lee”
“He is?” The question was made before Lee could even stop it and he quickly put a hand on his mouth, the movement was extremely painful and Lee knew the pain medication that had been administered to him was wearing off. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—” But his sensei only laughed softly.
“He is. That is why he was upset, he…well, he has lost many people close to him and I have hurt him with my promise”
“I’m sorry”
“What? No apologizing! It’s not your fault Lee, I made that promise to you and I am not one to back down. Do you know why I did it?” And there was again, that determination in his eyes, the same one that Lee looked up to, that reminded him that he could be someone, that there was nothing hard work couldn’t fix. “It was not because I planned to leave Kakashi, or TenTen or Neji, neither was it just to reassure you blindly, no. I made it because I want you to understand how much confidence I have in you and your body as well as in the skill and experience of Lady Tsunade”
Gai moved from his spot and knelt before Lee, taking his hands in a reassuring way, his voice soft but direct like that of a father. “You will have that surgery and it might get nasty and maybe rehab will be difficult, but I have no doubt, Lee, that you will overcome it and you will go back to training as hard as you have always done, becoming one of the strongest shinobi to ever live”
Tears were already streaming down both their cheeks now and Lee sniffed before he asked, “You really think so, Gai-sensei?”
“Of course, I do” And getting up he continued “Now, let’s get you to the hospital before Lady Tsunade decides to kill me and you hurt yourself further”
Lee tried to get up too, but he couldn't, it hurt too much, Gai- sensei seemed to understand and he quickly carried Lee on his back, making sure to move him as little as possible.
It was as they made their way to the Medical Center, that he remembered his plan of all those months ago, the one where he promised himself, he would discover Kakashi’s true intentions towards his sensei.
“Gai-sensei”
“Hmm”
“Do you love Kakashi-Sensei?”
Gai sensei just smiled wide, before replying “With every piece of my being”.
When he woke up from surgery, he felt like he was wrapped around cotton, every light was too bright, and he was incredibly thirsty. He could hear the faint sound of a beeping machine and for a moment he panicked.
“It’s okay, Lee! Everything is okay” The cheery voice of Gai sensei sounded from somewhere around the cotton. He tried to reply and ask more but before he could, it was dark again.
When he woke up the second time, he felt way better. The cotton was gone although he felt thirsty still, he looked around looking for water and was met with a bright red straw and a glass.
“Small sips, you don’t want to hurry with this, believe me” Kakashi sensei was holding the glass, behind him Gai sensei was soundly sleeping sitting on a chair, the plastic object looked comically small with Gai’s body freely lying on top.
Lee did as he was told and took small sips, humming with content as the water touched his dry mouth.
“Listen Lee. I want to apologize to you; I know you heard that conversation” It came out of nowhere and it took a moment for Lee to even understand what Kakashi-Sensei meant. He remembered suddenly and Kakashi must have taken his surprised eyes as cue to continue because he then said, “I was very upset at your Sensei, you know, and while I am still a little bit angry at him, I should have clarified it was because I think those kinds of promises are stupid, not because he made that promise to you specifically, then again, you shouldn’t have been there eavesdropping”
Lee felt embarrassment built up in his gut but before he even thought about apologizing for accidentally eavesdropping, he asked him, eyes serious, back straight (alas in a lot of pain).
“Kakashi-sensei do you love Gai-sensei?”
Kakashi didn’t move, he didn’t even blink, the birds outside making more noise than his breathing. A beat, then another then…
“I do”
“Good” Lee said “Then I think we should talk”
“Of course” Kakashi answered. Neither of them moved, neither spoke, they just stared at each other’s eyes (well, eye in Kakashi’s case, although Lee often wondered if he opened the Sharingan just a bit underneath his headband once in a while because, oh come on! How had he known Lee and Naruto were hiding Dangos in their pocket that one time?!), before Lee nodded and then Kakashi and then they were interrupted by Gai-Sensei waking up and him and Lee crying for at least an hour before Kakashi was summoned by Tsunade-Sama for an important mission and Lee had left to help his friends fight against some Sound Ninjas. Truth be told, Lee didn't remember much of the encounter until the part where Gaara had arrived and helped him back to the village, an apologetic look on his face that quickly turned to a surprised and confused one when Lee reassured him he did not hold a grudge against the Sand Shinobi.
Lee met Kakashi after the sound shinobi attack when Kakashi had been getting out from one of the rooms, later he learned it was Naruto's and was on his way to Lee's. They ended up never talking directly about it, but Lee didn't think they needed to. After all, Lee finally understood what "Rivals" meant.
Years later, after the war is over, Lee carries Metal on his shoulders and smiles wide as he catches a glimpse of Kakashi and Gai. Kakashi wearing the Hokage hat and Gai using a wheelchair both laughing and holding hands, and it is when he watches Kakashi jump on Gai's lap, his sensei going as quick as he can down a street as a screaming Captain Yamato runs behind them yelling something about "responsibilities" and "It's not funny, Senpai!" that he laughs fondly as he understands the "Eternal" part.
"Lets go Metal, let's see if we can catch your grandpas!" Sitting over his shoulders, Metal just lets out a giggle and claps.