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Yejun couldn't sleep. Every time he started dozing off, he would startle awake, unable to put his mind to rest. It was driving him crazy. There was nothing that he could do about it, he knew from experience that once he was riled up, sleeping would be an impossible act.
He kicked the blanket off of himself with an annoyed sigh, sitting upright as he stared off into the darkness. He could hear Wonjun's even breathing across the room, indicating that the other was asleep. Yejun envied him. Shaking off his thoughts, he got up, tiptoeing out of the room.
After getting a glass of water, he slumped onto the couch, his mind still uncomfortably awake. It was unnerving how his ears were buzzing with static noise in the otherwise soundless dorm. He quietly groaned, one of his hands coming up to push his hair back in frustration. Tilting his head towards the ceiling, Yejun took a deep breath. His options were limited, and he was well aware. Trying to sleep wouldn't improve anything, but not trying to sleep wouldn't feel right either, especially since he was exhausted and tired after their schedules.
No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, his thoughts always wandered back to the same person. He knew that, after last time, Youngmin made him promise that he would always come find him if anything was wrong. But waking him in the middle of the night?
Then again, he was really going to go insane if he didn't find something to distract him, something to take his mind out of the loop of worries and insecurities it was gradually spiraling into.
Biting down on his lower lip, he slowly counted his breaths.
Nothing changed.
He let his eyes slip closed as he reconsidered waking up his hyung. He knew that his thoughts would only get worse the longer he stayed up alone and fortunately the members had the next three days all to themselves, without any schedules or practices, so it wasn't too bad if they lost some sleep, right?
He heaved a sigh. It would be fine like this. He would be fine. He had to be, he already felt guilty for only considering to wake someone else.
...but it was also kind of convenient that Rano was visiting his family - he wouldn't even have to worry about accidentally waking up their hardworking leader when searching out Youngmin.
Yejun checked the time on his phone, squinting at the brightness. It was almost 4am.
Before he could change his mind again, he pushed himself to his feet, moving towards the room at the end of the hallway. Taking a steadying breath, he soundlessly entered the room.
He shuffled his way towards the bed, whispering: "Hyung?"
Youngmin stirred in his sleep. Another wave of guilt washed over him, but he closed the gap between himself and the bed regardless.
"Hyung, wake up..."
Youngmin blinked awake at that, unfocused gaze belatedly zeroing in on the maknae.
"Yejun?"
He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?" His voice was raspy from sleep.
Yejun hesitated. Now that he disturbed his sleep already, there was no use backtracking, but he suddenly couldn't breathe properly and the static noise was making his head hurt and-
"Yejuni?" This time, the worry was evident Youngmin's voice.
"Come here," he whispered, scooting over to create more space on the bed. He knew that skinship often was the way to comfort the younger when he was overwhelmed by his feelings, unable to pour out his thoughts verbally.
Yejun didn't hesitate this time. Hurriedly climbing onto the mattress, he let himself be tucked into his hyung's side with his legs resting sideways over Youngmin's thighs. He shivered at the feeling of Youngmin's warm hand against his lower back, not having realized how cold it was in the dorm.
It was astonishing how easily Youngmin's presence calmed his heartrate, how he muted the mess in Yejun's head and decreased the static noise instantaneously. He focused on Youngmin's breathing, bit by bit matching his breaths.
"Hyung, I can't sleep," he eventually muttered, resting his head on Youngmin's shoulder. "I have tried everything, but it doesn't work. And now I just can't stop thinking and it's so exhausting." He heaved a sigh in frustration.
Youngmin hummed in acknowledgement. After a few seconds of silence, he added: "I will stay awake with you, then. We'll figure something out until you can sleep." He held the smaller boy in his arms a little tighter, leaning his own head against Yejun's hair.
The maknae remained quiet for a while, mindlessly tracing Youngmin's collarbones with his fingertips.
"Thank you, hyung. I feel sorry for waking you up, but I guess it's done now."
"Do you regret it?" There was something fragile behind those words, a hint of insecurity shimmering through Youngmin's otherwise confident demeanor.
Yejun hesitantly opened his mouth to answer. Then he closed it again, reconsidering his answer.
"No," he softly voiced, "I don't."
"I'm glad you came to me. Really." Youngmin breathed a sigh into his hair. Shifting their position, he lay down properly, pulling Yejun down with him. "Let's try to sleep again, alright? If I fall asleep while you're still up, wake me." With those words, he pulled their bodies flush together, his arms wrapped around Yejun's torso.
With a smile playing on his lips, the maknae closed his eyes, feeling a lot more at ease than before.
Falling asleep just like that would have been too easy, Yejun thought, right after startling awake for the nth time that night. Pulling at his hair in frustration, he bit down hard on his lower lip, the pain grounding him in a way. Being with Youngmin was calming, sure, but now that the other was asleep again, he could feel himself getting riled up all over again. But what was the use of both of them losing sleep? He might as well just wait it out, the maknae thought.
Aggressively rubbing his eyes, he turned to face the older. He moved closer, gingerly resting his forehead against Youngmin's, Yejun’s jaw clenching in frustration.
Surprising him, Youngmin suddenly spoke up, apparently having been woken by Yejun moving around.
"Still can't sleep?"
Yejun hummed in confirmation, another sigh slipping past his lips.
The older boy could feel the tension encompassing Yejun's body. He felt his hand tightly gripping the bedsheet, felt his jaw clench, the maknae's breath on his lips-
Youngmin didn't think, his mind hazy from drifting in and out of sleep. One hand coming up to caress Yejun's jaw, he inched forward, their lips barely brushing as he spoke his next words.
"You have to relax to fall asleep, baby..."
He distinctly felt Yejun's breath hitch, and it really only intensified the haziness clouding his thoughts, his mind short-circuiting. He closed the gap and pressed his lips to Yejun's, soft but firm.
Youngmin pulled away after a second, blinking out of his daze. He felt as if he was free falling, nothing to hold onto, the funny feeling in his chest making it hard to breathe. Gulping thickly, he closely observed the younger's expression, eyes flicking back down to his lips automatically.
Yejun's eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, shakily inhaling before he breathed a faint "again"
Youngmin's breath stuttered, but he complied easily, gently reconnecting their lips in a soft kiss. It lasted longer than the previous, languid, slow, but no less intense.
When he eventually had to pull away to catch his breath, a quiet whine escaped Yejun's mouth. The way the maknae chased his lips made Youngmin lose his mind, his breathing irregular from the lack of oxygen.
It was unlike him, and Yejun would have been embarrassed by how needy he was, but maybe it just was that time of the night, maybe it was the lack of sleep, or how he was so riled up from lying awake, tossing and turning for hours on end - he just didn’t care.
Youngmin leaned in again, his lips finding Yejun's smoothly. The younger was melting into the touch, his mind solely focused on the boy in front of him. He was drunk on the feeling of Youngmin's velvety soft lips on his own, the sensation of his tongue swiping over his lower lip, their mouths sliding together leisurely. It was as if Youngmin's warmth was dissolving any unrelated thoughts, his mind preoccupied with Youngmin and Youngmin only.
The older eventually separated their mouths again, both of them out of breath. He took to trailing light kisses down his jaw, tangling one hand in Yejun's locks, the other arm securely wrapped around his waist.
Directing his gaze towards the maknae's face once again, Youngmin's fingers lightly traced his brows, drawing an imaginary line down his cheekbones before coming to rest on his lips. He was entranced by how ethereal Yejun looked in that very moment. His hair mussed up, eyes hooded, lips kiss-swollen and shiny... A shuddering intake of breath was all that Youngmin mastered before retracting his hand. At that, Yejun locked eyes with him. Holding his gaze, Youngmin was overwhelmed by a feeling so light and dizzying, he almost felt weightless. They lay in comfortable silence, no words powerful enough to capture anything the moment was signifying.
When the maknae’s eyes were threatening to slip closed, his body entirely relaxed in the older boy's hold, Youngmin placed one final, lingering kiss on Yejun's lips.
"Let's sleep," he lowly whispered, relief washing over him at sensing the maknae's breathing even out, finally drifting off to sleep. Youngmin himself followed shortly after, the sensation in his chest persistently astounding.
He paid it no heed. He didn’t have to, it wasn’t urgent. It could wait one more night. Just one more night.