Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 Inarizaki High School has always been home to Atsumu. Arriving under the cherry blossom had been like being welcomed back to the place he’s always been most comfortable. At Inarizaki his obsession and passion was appreciated. At Inarizaki, he and Osamu are happiest with Akagi by their side, pulling them along to meet with the Kazanari team, to sit with Aran and Kita like always. Summers at Inarizaki are the most special time to Atsumu.

 Of course, Osamu is busy with Ami these days. Ami still wears the good luck ribbon Atsumu gave her in middle school, and he’s not mad about it, but he’s a little pouty some days. How’d Osamu manage to get a beautiful volleyball star as a girlfriend anyway? 

 Probably proof of that bad personality everyone keeps saying Atsumu has.

 “Miya, right?” one of the boys in his class says, leaning over the back of the chair in front. “I’m Gin. Ah, Ginjima Hitoshi.”

 “Miya Atsumu,” he replies.

 “Atsumu?” Gin says. “That makes ya the setter, right? So cool we’re in the same class.”

 Well, at least someone appreciates him. “Where’re ya from, Gin?”

 “Nishinomiya.”

 “With the shrine?”

 “That’s it. Ma’s been talkin’ about movin’ into the city and closer, but she’s been sayin’ that for years. We played a few times, y’know.”

 Atsumu nods. “Ya were the spiker on the left, with the setter with the scowly face and the cat ears.”

 “They weren’t cat ears,” Gin laughs.

 “They totally looked like cat ears,” he replies with a grin. “Who has their hair like that?”

 “It was stupid,” he says. He grins, leaning his elbow on Atsumu desk. “I can’t wait to play with ya, Atsumu-san-”

 “‘Tsumu.”

 “‘Tsumu,” he says, grin widening. “Yer one of the best setters in Japan. I can’t wait to hit yer sets.”

 “I’ve still got a lot to learn,” Atsumu says, tilting his head. “But Yukino-san’s here to learn from. I can't wait.”

 “I guess even monster setters have idols.”

 “He’s amazin’. It’s gonna be the best year.”

 Gin’s great. He leans over the back of his chair between classes, laughing and joking and talking about volleyball games he’s seen recently and, of course, Atsumu has seen them too. Atsumu realises around lunch time, he’s never had a friend like Gin. Ah, that’s pretty sad, isn’t it? He’s never had a friend who’ll sit and laugh with him and chat about volleyball. Even Aran wasn’t really the same. They were never in the same school. They saw each other playing volleyball, but they never really sat and talked.

 That’ll probably change when they actually get to playing together. Osamu and Akagi are the only ones who’ve ever been able to handle playing with him. 

 And Suna’s here.

 Atsumu’s kind of stunned by that, but it’s great. Suna’s here to play with them too! All the way from Aichi! This year really is going to be the best! Kita and Aran and Akagi are here, and Omimi is huge!

 And Kita takes them to meet the third years. And there's Yukino Kaname, right next to Urazoe Haruto. And Yukino is watching him. He knows who Atsumu is. He can tell him from Osamu. He pulls Atsumu down to his side, between him and Urazoe. Two of the best players in hgh school are either side of him for lunch and Atsumu really struggles to keep his cool.

 “It’s gonna be a great year,” Yukino says, nudging his side. “It’s so cool to have such a great apprentice setter. Try to keep up, ok?”

 Atsumu nods, trying not to think about how flushed his cheeks are. Yukino Kaname’s apprentice? Of course he wants to play, he wants to be starting setter, but learning from Yukino is going to be amazing.

 “I can’t wait,” he says, tucking his hair behind his ear. Yukino laughs and nudges his side. “It’s gonna be really great to learn from ya, Yukino-san.”

 “Kaname,” he says softly. “Just Kaname, Atsumu.”

 Atsumu’s sure his face is absolutely bright red at this point. Osamu kicks him under the table and Atsumu turns away. Kaname has his phone out and pulls Atsumu close into his side to go over some videos with him. Leaning into his side is warm and Atsumu has no idea how well he’s managing to keep his cool, but he kind of is.

 After school is just as amazing. Kaname is amazing. He pulls Atsumu over to join him. Atsumu’s not bad, he’s a great setter, but Kaname is on the U19 team. He’s the next level. Atsumu is dying to learn from him. And Kaname is more than happy to take him under his wing, teaching him how the team works and how everyone likes their sets. They have such an awesome team. They’re the national champions. Atsumu has to keep up. He has to live up to Kaname’s legacy. 

 And the team is so much friendlier than Yako. Kaname is confident and relaxed around him, unlike the third year setter when he arrived at Yako, and that seems to bleed out to the other third years. He loves it. It finally feels like he has a team.

 “Look at the two of ya,” Urazoe laughs as they’re sitting together at lunch. “Joined at the hip, huh?”

 Kaname laughs and nudges Atsumu’s side lightly. “What’s so bad ‘bout that? He’s super cute.”

 “I’m not cute,” Atsumu huffs.

 “Yeah, ya kinda are,” Urazoe says and Tsukikage nods. “And Kaname’s here to look after ya, huh?”

 “Kaname’s finally found one of his own kind,” Tsukikage says.

 “Terrifying,” Aran laughs.

 One of his own kind? Atsumu blinks up at Kaname between bites of his lunch. It feels pretty good, to be considered on the same level as Atsumu. He grins and turns to his lunch. Osamu kicks him under the table and Atsumu kicks him back. He doesn’t know what Osamu’s problem is. He’s not even doing anything this time.

 “Is it ok if I stay late?” Atsumu calls after practice.

 “As long as you lock up,” Coach Kurosu replies. Osamu is already putting down his bag. “And don’t stay too late.”

 “I’ll stay with ya,” Kaname says.

 “Really?” Atsumu says, staring up at him. “Yer sure?”

 “Really,” he laughs and pats his head. “There’s some stuff I wanna work on with ya anyway.”

 “I’ll leave ya to it then,” Osamu calls.

 Atsumu jerks around. “Huh?”

 “If Kaname-san’s gonna stay with ya, I don’t need to be here,” he says with a shrug and turns to Suna. “Wanna get something to eat?”

 Suna nods. “Sure.”

 The team leaves them behind with waves and calls and Kita warns him not to overwork. Urazoe and Gin stay a while and hit some sets for a while before leaving them too. And then they’re alone. Kaname is great to work with. He’s totally casual about the situation, Atsumu doesn’t have to worry about being too touchy or aggressive. Kaname just laughs, just as close and touchy, and disarmingly sweet when Atsumu gets stressed. 

 “Yer not so great with yer temper yet, are ya, ‘Tsumu?” Kaname laughs a few days later. His hands are gently around his wrists. He smiles pressing his thumbs against his palms. “Ya’ve gotta chill outta bit.”

 “It’s frustrating,” Atsumu huffs. 

 “That’s the problem,” he says. “If yer not havin’ fun, why’re ya playing?”

 “Huh?”

 He laughs warmly, spinning him with the hands around his wrists. Atsumu yelps, staggering as he’s spun around, barely keeping his balance. What the hell? Kaname grins and wraps his arms around him, hooking his chin over his shoulder as he gets his balance again.

 “Kaname-san-”

 “Just Kaname,” he says. “Ya feelin’ better yet? Loose and relaxed?”

 “Dizzy,” Atsumu replies.

 “But relaxed,” Kaname says.

 “I guess,” he laughs. 

 “That’s better.”

 Kaname laughs and spins him again, getting Atsumu off balance and laughing until they’re face to face again. Yeah, he’s definitely looser. He grins and leans his head against Kaname’s shoulder. What the hell? He’s so dizzy and the world is spinning and he can’t stop laughing breathlessly. This is great. Kaname’s right. Why is he here if he’s just getting frustrated and angry? Volleyball is fun. It’s the best. Kaname’s the best and he’s here helping him with volleyball. What’s there to be anything but overjoyed about?

 “Yer the best, Kaname,” Atsumu whispers between laughter.

 “Only ‘cause yer here,” Kaname replies.

 Atsumu lifts his head. “Huh?”

 “Feels like… havin’ an apprentice to teach…” He laughs, leaning his forehead against Atsumu’s. “Yer somethin’ special, ‘Tsumu. I wanna be better ‘cause yer here.”

 “Really?” Atsumu says.

 “Really,” he murmurs.

 Their lips meet lightly and Kaname’s hands squeeze his gently. Atsumu’s face flushes and his fingertips are tingling. It’s electric and sweet and Atsumu mind is totally blank. Until it slowly dawns on him that they’re kissing. He and Kaname are kissing.

 Kaname draws back slowly and Atsumu blinks up at him slowly. What the hell? He kissed him. Kaname kissed him. Or he kissed Kaname? He doesn’t know. Why did he do that? 

 “Atsumu?” Kaname whispers.

 “Sorry,” Atsumu says, stumbling back. 

 “Atsumu-”

 “Sorry, Kaname-san,” he says, grabbing his bag. “I need to go. I- I forget, uh- ‘Samu needs-” He staggers as he changes his shoes and hops out the door without looking back. “Sorry.”

 “Atsumu-”

 “Sorry!”

 He makes a run for it before Kaname can say anything more. He doesn’t know what Kaname’s going to say about it. He doesn’t know what he’d say either. He doesn’t know what happened. What was that? Why the hell did he let that happen? What was with that kiss?! What’s wrong with him?! He’s been at Inarizaki for a few weeks, he barely knows Kaname and he was just trying to help him with his setting. How could he be so stupid and make that so fucking awkward?!

 Atsumu stumbles into his room, only for Osamu to be there. Shit. Osamu’s supposed to be with Suna or Ami. What’s he doing home? He’s going to laugh at him so much for this. He jerks back out the room and slams the door. He can’t take Osamu laughing at him right now. He shuts himself in the bathroom instead and switches on the shower to cover his heavy breathing. 

 What’s wrong with him?! He finally had a proper team, a captain and setter to look up to, and he’s just gone and screwed it all up.

 “Atsumu,” Kaname says softly as they’re heading to the locker room after morning practice. “Are ya a bit less flustered now?”

 “I’m so sorry, Kaname-san,” Atsumu whispers.

 “Knock that off,” he says firmly. “Yer fine.” He hums and tilts his head. “I shouldn’ta sprung that on ya.”

 “Ya didn’t-”

 “I like ya, Atsumu,” he says. Atsumu blinks up at him and Kaname grins. “No pressure, but if ya wanna… we could try datin’?”

 “Huh?”

 “Just, think about it an’ let me know, ok?”

 He leaves him to change and Atsumu sighs. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything anymore. Kaname likes him? Wants to date him? What the actual fuck?

 Kaname doesn’t push it though. Atsumu joins him after practice, but for the next few days leaves with Gin while Kaname leaves with Urazoe. Atsumu isn’t sure what to think. Osamu isn’t any help. Him with Ami is pissing Atsumu off. And Atsumu’s almost certain Suna came to Inarizaki because he’s got a thing for Osamu. How Osamu’s blind to that is beyond him. Probably because he's too busy with Ami. Atsumu feels kind of bad for Suna in that respect.

 “Kaname-san flirts with ya a lot, huh?” Gin mutters as Atsumu walks with him to the bus stop.

 Atsumu’s cheeks flush. “Huh?”

 “Huh? Ya don’t notice?” he says. Atsumu frowns. “Hmm, maybe it’s just me. I swear Kaname-san flirts with ya when we stay late.”

 “Ya think so, huh?” Atsumu mutters, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Weird.”

 “Hmm?” Gin tilts his head with a grin. “Ya like him, don’tcha?”

 “Shut up!” he cries.”It’s not like that…”

 It takes a few days before Atsumu finally comes to a decision. Kaname doesn’t treat him any differently and actually talking to Osamu had calmed him down. And, well, if even Gin thinks there's something there, maybe he should go for it.

 “Didja mean it?” Atsumu whispers as they’re getting changed after school. Kaname glances at him. “I won’t forgive ya if yer fuckin’ with me.”

 Kaname smiles and nods. “Stay with me this evenin’. We’ll talk.”

 So Atsumu does. He waits for Kaname when Gin and Urazoe leave them. Kaname is serving to pass the time and Atsumu watches with a quiet sense of wonder. He really is amazing. Atsumu can only hope to be like him by the time he’s a third year. Finally, after what seems like forever, Kaname turns to him.

 “Ya thought about it then?” Kaname says. Atsumu nods and Kaname bounces him a ball. “Before ya agree, understand ya can’t tell anyone ‘bout us. We can’t be obvious about it.”

 “Why?” Atsumu says.

 Kaname frowns. “Datin’ inside the team ain’t allowed. It could affect the team dynamic, especially if we broke up.”

 Atsumu nods slowly. He supposes that makes sense. If they break up, how are they gonna work together? He frowns down at the ball. He doesn’t know if he wants to be a secret. Is it really ok to do this? 

 Kaname’s hands lay gently against his and Atsumu lifts his head. “I’m not gonna push ya, Atsumu. I just wantcha to know what yer gettin’ yerself into here.”

 “I…” 

 Atsumu bites his lip and Kaname squeezes his hands. This is crazy. But still, he wants to. He wants this. Kaname. He wrinkles his nose before leaning up, closing the small gap between them and pressing a light kiss to his lips. 

 “I wanna try,” he whispers.

 Kaname smiles gently and giving him a peck on the lips in return. “If this goes wrong, it can’t affect the team. Ya can’t tell anyone anything. Ya got it?”

 “I got it,” he says.

 “As long as we’re clear.”

 He leans in and this time the kiss is perfect. This time Atsumu doesn’t freak out or panic, and Kaname’s hand comes up to cup his face. It’s tender and sweet and everything Atsumu has always wanted in his sappiest day dreams that he won’t ever admit to. Kaname is so gentle. 

 So maybe Atsumu does kinda like guys.

 “Volleyball,” Kaname says, stepping back and taking the ball. “Ya need to work on yer passing.”

 “Kaname-”

 “We’re not stayin’ late just to make out, dummy,” he laughs. “Volleyball, remember?”

 “Yeah, of course.”

 Things with Kaname are so much fun. Even if Atsumu wishes they could be open about their relationship, there’s something kind of thrilling about sneaking around. Like a forbidden romance. Kaname’s kisses are searing and deep. They sit together at lunch between the other third years, their legs pressed together under the bench. His hand rests lightly against Atsumu’s back when talking with others. When they’re alone after practice, it’s a heady mix of volleyball highs and breathtaking kisses. Kaname pulls him to his aunts house where he stays and into his room some nights, carefully avoiding being caught acting suspicious, to carry on without volleyball between them. He knows it’s moving fast, but hasn’t Atsumu always been the type to jump into something headlong?

 “Kaname,” Atsumu whimpers, squirming beneath him. “Kaname, yer gonna leave more marks. The team’ll get weird ‘bout it again.”

 “Yer too cute not to,” Kaname whispers, pinning down his hips and kissing his neck. “Even if we have to keep it quiet, I want everyone to know yer taken.”

 Atsumu whines, fists clenching in the pillows beneath his head as Kaname covers him in more hickeys. He doesn’t need the others noticing more marks and handprints all over him. They’re already asking questions. He doesn’t know how the team managed to buy Kaname being a girlfriend. He’s never met a girl who could leave handprints the size of Kaname’s across his body. 

 “Y’know, when I said we gotta keep it quiet, I meant it,” Kaname whispers, pressing a finger to his lips. Atsumu blinks up at him. “The walls are pretty thin around here, babe. Ya want people to hear us?”

 “Yer a bully,” Atsumu replies.

 “Yeah,” he whispers and pecks his lips. “Y’know, Atsumu, everything ya said to the team today, ‘bout yer girlfriend, it was pretty amazin’ to hear.” 

 Atsumu’s cheeks flush. “That was so embarrassin’. I can’t believe ya made me do that.”

 “Ya coulda told me to fuck off,” he says softly. He smiles and strokes Atsumu’s cheek gently, thumb brushing his lips. “Yer so fuckin’ special, Atsumu.”

 Not special enough it seems. 

 Kita pulls Atsumu aside before practice the next morning and honestly, Atsumu’s glad it’s Kita. If anyone’s going to rip out his heart, it should be Kita. For half a moment, Atsumu wants to yell. To scream and shout at Kita to stop being a dick, that it’s not a funny joke. But it’s Kita. And Kita would never hurt someone for any joke or prank or even anything but necessity. Kita is cold and brutal and painfully honest, but he’s caring and gentle and wants what’s best for them. He reaches up and hands cup Atsumu’s cheeks, thumbs gently brushing away his tears. 

 “Enough of that,” Kita says. “Someone who’d treatcha like that doesn’t deserve tears.”

 “What am I supposed to do now, Kita-san?” Atsumu whispers, voice shaking. “I… I don’t…”

 “I know yer angry,” he says. “Andja have every right to be, but right now ya need to take a few deep breaths and relax. Acting rashly won’t getcha anywhere.”

 “I wanna kill him.”

 “I know, but I needja to do yer best to stay calm. Hold it together at least util ya can talk to him. Or d’ya want everyone to be askin’ ya ‘bout it while yer still raw?”

 Atsumu shakes his head. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and Kita pats his back gently. He picks up his bag and Kita guides him back towards the club room. Atsumu’s fists are shaking and the more he thinks about it, the more he hates Kaname for betraying his trust like this. Maybe he’d been stupid and naive for trusting Kaname and believing he could actually be special to him but-

 Kita’s hand brushes his back and Atsumu jerks away from his touch. “Breathe, Atsumu.” 

 “I am breathing,” Atsumu snaps. 

 “Breathe deeply,” he says. 

 “Atsumu,” Kaname says. Atsumu’s fists clench around his jacket in his locker. Kaname’s hands rest gently on his sides and his breath ruffles Atsumu’s hair so softly it’s painful. This is so unfair! Kaname’s hands brush his sides gently and his shoulders loosen. This isn’t fair at all! “There, yer ok.”

 He’s not. 

 He’s not ok at all! 

 His hands are shaking and the need to yell and scream is bubbling up again but Kaname’s gentle voice pushes it down. He wants to be mad at him. He should be. So why does Kaname leave him so vulnerable and weak?

 “Whatever it is, yer ok,” Kaname says. “We’ll sort it. Ya wanna talk?” Atsumu nods stiffly. “Ok. We’ll talk. We’ll sort it out whatever it is. Urazoe, tell Coach Atsumu’s got a problem I’ve gotta deal with, ok?”

 “Ya ok, ‘Tsumu?” Osamu says.

 “I’ll tell ya later,” Atsumu replies. 

 He knows Osamu hates leaving him like this, but he doesn’t know how to explain how stupid he’s been right now. He just wants to clear the air with Kaname and get his thoughts in order before he’s got to face the mockery of his brother and friends. And, honestly, he’s scared of what’s going to happen next. He’s scared and angry and embarrassed and that’s all just making him all the more pissed off!

 “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Kaname murmurs into his hair, stroking his sides. He hums softly and kisses Atsumu’s temple. “Yer so tense.”

 Atsumu swallows thickly. “Does Yumehara-san know about me?”

 “Huh? Mana?” Kaname says. Atsumu turns and shoves him away. Kaname frowns. “Atsumu-”

 “Does yer girlfriend know about me, Kaname?” Atsumu snaps.

 Kaname sighs, sweeping his hair back from his face. “O’course she does.”

 Huh?

 If there was anything Atsumu expected from Kaname, it wasn’t that. Yumehara knows about him? She knows about him and Kaname? What the hell? Why would she be ok knowing about it? 

 “D’ya wanna meet her?” Kaname says.

 “Meet her?” Atsumu says.

 “Mana?” he says with a grin. “D’ya wanna meet her properly?”

 “I- I don’t-”

 None of this is anything he expected. None of this makes sense. It wasn’t supposed to be like this! He’s supposed to be mad at Kaname, so why’s he considering it? Why’s it making sense that he gives him another chance?

 “Sorry,” Kaname says with a smile. “I was gonna tell ya-”

 “Ya were gonna tell me?!” Atsumu snaps, shoving him away. He wants to be angry. It’s so much easier to be angry than upset. It’s always been easier to be angry than think about how much pain he’s in. “Really?! Ya’ve had plenty of time, Kaname! Why?! Why wouldja-”

 “Wouldja have said yes to datin’ if ya knew I already had a girlfriend?”

 “So ya’d rather I fell for a lie?!”

 “Ya know now,” Kaname says gently. “So let's work it out.”

 Atsumu shakes his head. “I’m not gonna be yer dirty little secret, Kaname. I thought- Fuck! I really thoughtcha cared about me!”

 “I do,” he sighs. 

 “Then why-”

 “‘cause I adore the both of ya,” he laughs. “I don’t wanna give either of ya up.”

 “That doesn’t make sense!”

 “Maybe.” Kaname’s smile is so warm and gentle and lifts Atsumu’s hand to his lips. “Yer not in any state to play this morning. Take practice off an’ cool down, ok? If ya wanna talk later, we’ll talk. If not, I’m not gonna force ya.”

 “Why don’tcha care?!” Atsumu snaps. “Yer just gonna shrug this all off like it’s nothing?!”

 Kaname just smiles. “I’m not gonna tell ya how to feel, Atsumu. I’m not gonna tell ya that yer wrong for bein’ mad. I’m sorry, I didn’t tell ya sooner, but I’m not really sorry ‘bout what’s happened between us. So, it’s up to ya to decide how ya feel and whether ya want anythin’ more in time. I’ll ya later, ok?”

 “Kaname!” he snaps as Kaname shuts the door behind him. “Kaname!”

 He slams his hands against the wall hard enough to jolt down his wrists. Atsumu hisses, hands aching and tingling. Fuck! What the actual fuck?! What was all that?!

 Atsumu groans, leaning his head against the wall, hands shaking once more and struggling to breathe through the lump in his throat. Kaname just acts like it’s nothing for him to have been playing with him? He has a girlfriend and he’s been toying with him and he just wants to act like Atsumu’s the one making a big deal of it?!

 “Fuck,” he groans, scrunching his eyes shut. “Fuck!”

 Gin sits on his desk the moment he gets into class and Atsumu crumples over him, laying his head in Gin’s lap and struggling to keep control. But Gin hums, murmuring something soft and gentle and stroking his hair. He hates it. He hates falling to pieces like this. He shouldn’t be so stupid. It’s just some dumb older boy playing with his feelings. And he’d made it so easy for him.

 The day is quiet and awkward. Gin drags him to the roof before he can even think about going to sit with the third years. It’s weird. Atsumu has spent more time next to Kaname and the third years than the first and second years on the roof for lunch. He knows the third years aren’t all that fond of him, they just tolerate him as long as he’s in Kaname’s shadow. He knows that. He’s not as unaware of what people think of him as Osamu thinks. He knows, just doesn’t care. But he knows. The moment he steps out of Kaname’s shadow, stop being his cute apprentice and becomes a legitimate threat to Kaname’s position on the starting line up, they’ll turn on him, just as his seniors at Yako had. He doesn’t care, but it had been nice to have a team who really embraced him for a while.

 And telling the rest of the team about Kaname - even through the guise of his unnamed girlfriends - is humiliating and leaves Atsumu uncomfortably raw. All that day, the other first years are treating him with kid gloves. He’s unfocused and messy during practice, and Coach Kurosu accepts it as him feeling a little unwell. The other first years ditch the others and return to their home. It’s nice to at least have some unconditional support from his team. Even if they’re all kind of jerks in their own ways, Atsumu’s kind of surprised how tightly knit they’ve ended up. He can actually believe that, at least the first years, will stick with him and accept his rougher edges. And after a night being comforted by them, crying on Osamu’s shoulder when they’re alone, and ending up on the floor between Gin and Kosaku to sleep, he’s pretty sure he loves these idiots more than anything else. 

 “Atsumu-kun?” Atsumu tilts his head. Yumehara Mana is there smiling warmly. Atsumu blinks at her. Her reddish hair shines in the sunlight as she tucks his behind her ear. The head of the cheer squad, and Kaname’s girlfriend. “D’ya mind if we talk? I’d like to talk ‘bout yer serve, if that’s ok? We can get a drink.”

 Atsumu frowns but nods, leaving the others for lunch. Yumehara’s smile is soft warm and gently, but Atsumu can’t help thinking there’s something sharper in her eyes. Their cheer squad is pretty cut throat. They have a reputation among other schools as nasty and underhanded. And it’s their cheer captains who’re the power behind that. The synergy between the cheer squad and team is everything. They’re a formidable team, and their cheer squad just makes them stronger. And that’s Yumehara’s doing this year.

 “I hear ya had some concerns ‘bout me an’ Kaname,” she says softly, handing him a sports drink. He mutters his thanks and Yumehara hums. “Yer sweet. I’ve always known what Kaname’s like, y’know.”

 “What he’s like, huh?” he mutters.

 She smiles and sips her canned coffee. “I don’t think Kaname could ever be satisfied with just one person. I always knew that. I was happier to see him actually in love with someone for once. I was happier he was findin’ something special with someone else rather than all those girls in the cheer squad and other teams.”

 “So I should just forgive him?” Atsumu says.

 “Not if ya don’t feel like it,” Yumehara says. “He’s a pretty awful person in a lot of ways, but his heart is usually in the right place. But, I think just because he never intended to hurtcha, doesn’t mean he didn’t. If yer angry and hurt and can’t forgive him, then that’s for ya to decide, not him and definitely not me.”

 “Then what’re ya tryna tell me?” he says. “What d’ya want?”

 “Nothin’ really,” she says. “I just wanted ya to know, ya don’t hafta worry ‘bout me. If ya wanna be with Kaname, that’s cool. I wouldn’t hatecha or anythin’. I’d like to see us as friends in that case, as my boyfriend’s boyfriend. So, if this is whatcha want, ya don’t need to worry ‘bout me. But, just the same, if ya don’t want a relationship like that, that’s totally fine too. Ya don’t have to feel any pressure. I can totally get why someone wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s already got a girlfriend.”

 “It’s confusing,” Atsumu mutters, “and complicated. I’m not sure what I’m thinkin’ to be honest, Yumehara-san.”

 “That’s fine too, ya’ve got all the time in the world to make a decision, or not at all,” Yumehara says and nudges his side. “So, I really did wanna talk about yer serve. Yer not fond of the noise, right?”

 Atsumu isn’t sure what to make of the situation. It takes a long while to think it through. It’s probably only a week between the argument and his decision, but it feels like forever. It’s weird and complicated and Atsumu absently searching questions about his boyfriend having a girlfriend and anyway that can actually work. It doesn’t seem as weird as he’d imagined, and yet it still seemed weird.

 “Kaname,” Atsumu says. 

 Kaname waits with him in the locker room until the rest of the team is completely gone. Atsumu bites his lips and Kaname steps forward, fingers gently brushing Atsumu’s hands. 

 “Atsumu?”

 “Don’t ever lie to me again,” Atsumu whispers.

 “I won’t,” Kaname says.

 “No matter how much ya think yer protectin’ me and doin’ what’s best for me,” he snaps. “Ya tell me the truth.”

 “Yeah,” he says and squeezes his hands.

 Atsumu lifts his head slowly. “Just me and Yumehara, right? Yer not gonna go sleeping ‘round with anyone who looks yer way?”

 “I promise,” he says.

 Atsumu nods and Kaname grins, wrapping him in his arms and pulling him in. It's perfect. It’s everything he wanted. Everything he hadn’t realised he’d lost. He sighs, leaving into Kaname’s shoulder as Kaname’s chin rests on top of his head.

 “I missedja,” Atsumu whispers.

 “I’m glad,” Kaname whispers back. “I missedja too.”

 Everything is perfect after that. For a while, at least. Kaname drags him back to the group of third years for lunch and sits him back between Kaname and Urazoe like he’s back where he belongs. A few of the third years roll their eyes, only Tsukikage seems genuinely pleased to see him back. They stay late, laughing and working on their setting, sharing sweet and loving kisses and teasing touches. Yumehara joins them sometimes. Atsumu gets used to seeing Kaname kiss Yumehara and then pull him up into a gentle kiss too. It’s really not so bad. 

 Atsumu and Kaname switch in and out through the Inter-High qualifiers. Kurosu says they need all their players experienced so they’re not panicking when they’re really needed. Some of the third years grumble but Kaname laughs and throws his arm over his shoulders, slapping Urazoe on the back.

 “There’s nothin’ better than seein’ ‘Tsumu play though,” Kaname says. He grins and leans into Atsumu’s temple and presses a light kiss there when Urazoe turns away. “It’s pretty hot to see ya do yer thing, y’know.”

 And Atsumu can’t get the desire in his voice out of his head for the rest of the day. Kaname’s trying to murder him with his voice alone, that’s clear. But it’s great. Kaname is so reassuring, giving him critiques on his plays and working through his mistakes. It’s great. 

 Until it’s not. 

 Kaname’s face when they win the finals isn’t so pleased. He tilts his head away with a little frown, talking quietly to Kita. He doesn’t look at him. Even when Atsumu approaches, Kaname’s still frowning. He tilts his head away, joining Urazoe picking up their drinks. He doesn’t get it. Even when Yumehara joins Atsumu, sitting next to him on the bench and handing him a drink.

 “What’s up with him?” Atsumu whispers.

 “I dunno,” Yumehara says. “Want me to talk to him?”

 “I dunno,” he says.

 “Hey,” Suna says, slumping next to him. “What’s with you pouting?”

 “Nothing,” Atsumu sighs. Yumehara pats his shoulder and goes to join Kaname. Atsumu glances around. Osamu is making out with Ami just around corner, out of sight of a lot of the team, but not him and Suna on the bench. “And how’re ya handlin’ that?”

 “I don’t know what you mean,” he mutters. 

 “Yeah?” he says, tilting his head. “Ya don’t like ‘Samu?”

 Suna glances at him, then over to Ami and Osamu. “What would it even matter?”

 “I guess so,” Atsumu laughs, tilting his head back. He grins and nudges Suna’s side. I mean, I’ll make out with ya anytime ya want to make him jealous.”

 “Thanks but no thanks,” Suna snorts. “You might be identical, but I like more than just your looks. You’re not him.” He blinks at Atsumu and tilts his head. “You just offered to make out with me?”

 “And?” he says. 

 “I didn’t think you were into guys?” he says.

 Atsumu’s cheeks flush. Ah, right. He hasn’t actually told any of the team about his complicated situation. He knows plenty of members of the team are pretty comfortable talking about their sexuality. Lots of talk about hot girls is pretty standard, but no one really says anything about comments about just as hot guys. No one’s said anything about Suna telling them he was gay. Tsukikage and Akagi are perfectly open about being attracted to men and women. But Atsumu still hasn’t found a way to talk about it, even with Osamu.

 Suna hums. “If that’s you coming out to me, I’m not going to say anything to anyone, if you’re not ready to share.”

 “I dunno, Rin,” Atsumu says, glancing at Kaname. “It’s complicated and confusing and I’m not sure about anything anymore.”

 “Ah,” he says. He sighs and nudges Atsumu’s side back. “I’ll make out with you anytime you want to make out to make him jealous.”

 Atsumu laughs and nods. Suna might be kind of an ass, maybe as much as Atsumu himself, but he’s still kind of great. Even if he’s probably more Osamu’s friend than Atsumu’s, he’s glad he’s here. He’s glad he’s here.

 There’s a weird tension over the next day. They don’t have to attend morning practice. He joins Gin and the others for lunch. He doesn’t really know what’s going on with Kaname. He’s not been answering his texts. So Atsumu lets him have space for whatever he’s working out.

 “Something weird’s goin’ on,” Osamu mutters.

 “Yeah,” Aran says with a frown. “Feels like everyone’s on edge.”

 “The team’s about to be rearranged,” Kita says.

 Aran turns to him. “Is that somethin’ ya know? Or somethin’ ya know?”

 “I’m sorry,” he says, turning to Atsumu. He frowns and Kita meets his gaze. “This is probably going to be incredibly painful for ya.”

 Atsumu doesn’t get it.

 Until he does.

 “Atsumu-kun will be our starting setter from now on,” Kurosu says. And the reaction is so loud and negative it steals Atsumu’s breath. “I thought you boys were better than that-”

 “We have Kaname!”

 “He’s nothin’ like as good as Kaname!”

 “What the hell, Coach?!”

 Atsumu sighs and Osamu tugs him away towards the side of the gym. The group of them sit together on the benches, watching the group. Atsumu breathes deeply, forcing himself to face the chaos. He’s not going to shrink back from it. He’s been here before. The moment Atsumu steps out from Kaname’s shadow and cements himself as a threat to the seniority of the group. He’s not Kaname’s cute little apprentice, he’s a threat to the seniority and hierarchy. He’d hoped Inarizaki would be different, being a powerhouse, but apparently not. 

 Atsumu knew it was coming. He’s not going to shy away from it.

 It’s all a bit numb, to be honest. Atsumu gazes at the arguments and chaos, as if from a distance. Kita gets control of the majority of the first and second years. Coach deals with the rest. The third years and a few second years walk out. Kaname stands by his side and Coach Kurosu believes in him. But it’s all so distant and cold. 

 “Kaname,” Atsumu whispers, catching up with him as they’re leaving. 

 “Ya need to go home,” Kaname says.

 “Kaname, please-”

 Kaname sighs but Atsumu follows him back to his aunt’s home. Atsumu wraps his arms around himself, cold and strangely raw. That seems to be a theme in this short year. Everything this year seems to leave him raw and vulnerable over such a short time. He wonders if this is normal for a kid strarting high school. Is it normal to suddenly join a new group as one of the youngest but one of the most skilled, and suddenly find yourself torn apart and exposed in the most heart breaking ways? Is it normal to feel like this?

 “Kaname,” Atsumu says, shutting Kaname’s door behind him. “I’m sorry for causing all this trouble.”

 Kaname sighs heavily, leaning against his desk. “It’s Coach’s decision.”

 “I know,” he says. “But…”

 “Fuck!” 

 Atsumu jerks back as Kaname kicks his chair over. He knows. He knows Kaname is furious. He knows if he was in Kaname’s place, being replaced by someone younger and new, he’d probably be pissed too. He gets it. But, Kaname will get frustrated then work harder, right? That’s how Atsumu would handle it. He’s sure Kaname will be the same. So he’ll just have to stay with Kaname and help him calm down. Then tomorrow, they’ll stay after practice and find new ways to improve together.

 “Can’t believe I’ve been so stupid,” Kaname hisses.

 “Huh?”

 Kaname turns to him, face twisted with a rage and agony Atsumu is all too familiar with. Like when Osamu had been made setter. Mad at himself and furious at the situation. Atsumu gets that. He wants to help Kaname through it somehow.

 “I’m such a fuckin’ idiot,” Kaname says.

 Atsumu sighs. “Yer not-”

 “I am,” he snaps, glaring up at him. “It’s you.”

 “Me?!” Atsumu cries.

 “Yer the cause of all of this! I was so stupid! I let myself get stupidly involved with ya and let myself get distracted!”

 “That-” Atsumu blinks at him, the weight of the words slowly sinking in and what Kaname is saying really hitting him. “None of this is my fault! Ya literally just said it’s Coach’s decision! I’m sorry yer feelin’ shitty but don’t take it out on me!”

 Kaname’s eyes narrow. “I’m the setter that took us to a national title! I’m the setter for the national team! Ya think yer just comin’ in and takin’ my sport?! Yer really that arrogantcha think yer better than me?!”

 “Clearly Coach does!”

 “Because ya distracted me,” Kaname snarls. “All yer drama and neediness! Gettin’ close so I’d help ya along at the cost of my own focus!”

 “Like hell I did!” Atsumu yells back. “If ya did that shit, that’s on you, not me!”

 “Oh fuck off! Ya know exactly what effectcha have on teams! Everyone acts like it’s just how ya are but that’s bullshit, right?! Y’know exactly what yer doin’! Ya rip teams apart and then hold’em together as the setter to make yerself look better!”

 “Fuck you! I get yer feelin’ like shit right now, but that is not my fault an’ I’m not gonna sit here and letcha act like it is!” He jerks away and yanks open the door. “Fuck you, Kaname.”

 He slams the door behind him only to come face to face with Kaname’s sister Ai in the sitting room. She smiles warmly and pushes at cup of tea across the table.

 “Wanna talk, Atsu-chan? Sounds like nii-san’s being a bit of a prick.”

 Atsumu frowns, walking over slowly. “Ya heard that, huh?”

 “I think he’s bein’ pretty unfair on ya,” Ai says. “An’ everythin’ I’ve heard makes me think ya’ve put up with way too much from him. D’ya wanna talk for a while?”

 “Thanks, Ai-chan,” he says quietly, turning to the door. “But I’m gonna go home. Give him space.”

 “He doesn’t deserve ya, Atsu-chan. Ya’ve done nothin’ wrong.”

 “Thanks.”

 Crying and yelling with Osamu really helps. He needs it. He needs to let out his own feelings and deal with what Kaname said. He tells himself Kaname’s just snapping. He’ll get over it. He’s mad at everything and lashing out. Fuck knows Atsumu’s done that before. He’ll apologise. Or they’ll stay late and volleyball it out. Or even yell it out. Like he does with Osamu. Or just ignore it and act like nothing happened, like he does with Osamu.

 But he doesn’t. 

 Kaname carries on like there was nothing between them. He doesn’t stay late with him. He leaves straight after practice. Osamu follows and comes back a while later looking shell shocked. Atsumu honestly imagined he’d look more pissed off. He’d left looking like he wanted to punch Kaname. Atsumu abandons the third years and stays with the first and second years. Ai joins them. She’s smiling and warm and gentle. Actually supportive even though she knows everything.

 But it does hurt. Yumehara gives him gentle smiles in passing but nothing changes with Kaname. They’re done. He doesn’t care. He won’t let Atsumu near him without others around. He can’t do anything to change it.

 “What’s with that look?” Gin laughs, sitting next to him and Suna on the bench.

 Osamu is working on his passing under the barrage of the third years’ serves. As an opposite, he’s got to pass a bit more than setters and middles like him and Suna and Gin has just been released from his turn.

 “Yer glaring,” Gin says, nudging his side. “Like yer plottin’ somethin’.”

 Atsumu frowns, glancing at Gin and the others around him, then up to Kaname, stepping back to chat with Urazoe at the end line. Kaname glances over, then turns his back as he takes a drink. It’s been two weeks and they’re really gonna play like that huh? 

 “Didja mean whatcha said at the finals, Sunarin?” Atsumu whispers.

 Suna almost smirks and hands his phone to Gin. “Record this shit. Specifically the reaction.”

 “Why do I feel like I need to get Kita-san?” Kosaku sighs

 “Dare me?” Suna whispers, leaning into Atsumu’s space.

 “Dare ya,” Atsumu replies with a grin, bumping his nose against Suna’s. “Gonna back out?”

 “Do I look like a coward, Miya?” he says.

 “Guys-”

 Gin’s strangled arguments are cut off, or maybe Atsumu just can’t hear him with his focus shifted to Suna, as their mouths meet cautiously. It’s weird. Atsumu never really imagined kissing Suna. He’s pretty hot, in an aloof uninterested kind of way, but he’s never really been attracted to him. It’s nice. It’s not the same kind of soul shaking, breath stealing, mind blowing kiss that he shared with Kaname, but it’s nice. Suna’s fingers tug at his hair a little roughly and Atsumu’s fingers press into his shoulder as the kisses deepen. 

 “Atsumu! Rintarou!” Coach Oomi snaps. They draw apart slowly and Atsumu glances away. Gin’s got Suna’s phone in his hand still and Suna takes it with a peace sign at the camera. Everyone is staring. “If the two of ya have caughtcha breaths enough to stick yer tongue down each others throats, ya’ve got enough breath to run drills.”

 “Worth it,” Atsumu mutters, leaning in for another breif kiss.

 “Debatable,” Suna replies, giving him one in return.

 “Oh my god,” Gin whispers.

 “Boys,” Oomi snaps. 

 Atsumu laughs and Suna hides a smirk behind his hand as they head over to where Oomi has a volleyball. Gin and Kosaku join them almost immediately. Desperate enough for gossip they’ll run drills with them, huh?

 “Don’t tell me the two of ya are datin’?” Gin snaps. His eyes widen. “Atsumu’s yer mystery crush?”

 Suna snorts. “As if I’d kiss this morning for anything but a bet. You owe me pork buns.”

 “Me?!” he cries.

 “Oh yeah, me too,” Atsumu laughs, patting Gin’s shoulder. “Ya really shouldn’t dare us to do stuff like that, Gin.”

 “Hey-”

 “Yeah, Gin,” Kosaku says, patting his shoulder in passing.

 “Yer the worst friends!”

 “It’s just a bit of fun, Gin,” Atsumu laughs. His gaze flickers up to where Kaname is staring. He grins and turns his back, ignoring the ache in his chest, and taking a ball from Coach Oomi. “I’m not into guys, y’know? And I definitely ain’t datin’. Any datin’ would just be a distraction from volleyball, and I really don’t need anyone who’s not gonna support me and my volleyball. I’d get rid of ‘Samu if I could.”

 “Like hell ya would,” Gin says softly. “He’s yer rock.”

 “Yeah,” he whispers. Gin’s eyes widen and Atsumu laughs. “I dunno what I’d do without him.”

 “Whoa, he admitted it,” Kosaku says.

 “Not just him,” he says. Gin stares and Kosaku laughs. “I’m really glad I have y’all lookin’ out for me, y’know?”

 Gin sniffles. “I’m gonna cry.”

 “I can’t believe you said all that and made Gin cry and I don’t have my phone,” Suna sighs.

 “Sorry, sorry,” Atsumu laughs. “How ‘bout I buy the pork buns to make up for it?”

 He’s going to be fine. 

 He has to be.

 “So,” Coach Kurosu says, sitting at the head of the table. “That’s what we know about the team we’ll be facing. We don’t know what they’ll be pulling out from their first years we don’t know of, and we haven’t been able to get anything from our alumni. But, there’s nothing to worry about.”

 Atsumu frowns, watching the paused recording of Kaname and Urazoe exchanging high fives. This is it. Tomorrow morning, they’re playing the university team and Atsumu is going to play against Kaname for the first time since middle school. 

 “There’s nothing to worry about though,” Kurosu says. “We’re Inarizaki. We’ve held our ground against professional teams and beaten university teams. We’re not weak and we’re not going to go in there as anything but contenders.”

 The team cheers but Atsumu frowns, still watching the screen. He and Kaname have been nothing but civil since their break up. They’ve even been pretty friendly since arriving in Tokyo. But, there’s an aching hole in his chest still. Yaku’s right. He never got closure with Kaname, things just stopped. He wants answers. He still wants closure. 

 “Atsumu?” Kurosau says. He jerks upright. “Will you be ok?”

 Atsumu frowns. “Y’all know now, I was in a relationship with Kaname when he was our captain, and it was a total mess. But, I’ve gotcha all to help me through all this, right? We’re a team, and no one fu- messes with the volleyball team.”

 “Nice save,” Coach Oomi mutters.

 “I’m gonna be fine,” he says with a firm nod. “And if I’m not, I’ve got all of ya to support me through it, right?”

 “Right!”

 “And who are you, Hinata-kun?” Kurosu says.

 “I’m fine, I’m fine,” Shouyou laughs. Atsumu frowns at him. He’s still holding an ice pack on the side of his face. “I’m pretty used to receiving a ball with my face.”

 “Why d’ya sound proud of that?” Riseki groans and Shouyou laughs sheepishly.

 “Yes, please don’t sound proud of that,” Kurosu sighs. “We really do need to get more work done on your passing.”

 “Sorry,” Shouyou says with a grin. “I was too wary of their tips.”

 “You were,” he says. “But we all were. You’re fast enough not to need to be that far forward though.”

 Coach Oomi chuckles. “I honestly thought we were gonna have to break up a brawl after that shot. Haven’t had an actual fight during a practice match for a while.”

 “Please don’t sound nostalgic for breaking up fights,” Kurosu says, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

 Shouyou leans against his side and Atsumu grins, wrapping his arm around him gently. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow. Play and win like always, he supposes. Just do what they always do and win. That’s it.

 “Are ya gonna be ok to play tomorrow, Hinata-kun?” Oomi says.

 “Of course!” Shouyou cries. “No way I’m not playing!”

 “We’ll see how you look tomorrow,” Kurosu says and Shouyou pouts. “You might regret that enthusiasm when you’re bruised up.”

 “I’ll feel worse if I don’t play.”

 “Kita-san would hatecha sayin’ that,” Osamu laughs.

 “Someone got scolded for that a couple of times,” Gin says, shooting Atsumu a look. 

 “An’ ya got scolded for enablin’ me,” Atsumu replies.

 Gin sighs. “I always seem to be enablin’ ya Miyas and Suna.”

 “Don’t lump me in with the Miyas,” Suna argues.

 “Then stop actin’ up with them,” Kosaku laughs.