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When Petal barks for the first time, Julie isn’t surprised. She’s a loud, attention-seeking dog – if someone is walking by the fence, Petal will try and do everything in her power to get their attention, and get them to pet her. Occasionally, she’ll even whine, too. It’s nothing surprising, just endearing – if Julie is in her room, she’ll look through the window just to see who it is that Petal is demanding attention from this time.
It just so happens that for the past week or so, every time Julie is doing homework (junior year is a lot of work, even at an arts school and the musical programme), there is one particular person Petal is whining at.
Julie guesses the boy is about her age. He’s always sporting a beanie, but his brown hair is sticking out from underneath it, the few inches shaggy and unkempt. He’s got a style that’s straight out of the 90s and Julie actually finds that one of the most appealing things about the person petting her dog.
(It’s mostly because Julie really values when people are willing to be themselves, outside of the norm. Or maybe she’s just seen one too many guy look like everyone else.)
She’s filling in the music sheet of a composition Mrs Harrison gave them when she hears Petal bark again. Julie checks her alarm clock – ten minutes till seven, right on time. She peeks through the window and the familiar beanie-plaid coat combination is in front of the fence, leaning as he’s petting Petal.
Julie grabs the bag out of her trash can, tying it quickly, then makes her way downstairs. She thinks about getting rid of her dinosaur slippers, but ends up keeping them. It’ll be less weird if she comes out looking like she hadn’t planned on meeting anyone.
(Except that’s exactly what she’s doing.)
She exits out the front door and lets waits for a beat, and then: ‘Oh, hey!’
The boy looks up from where he’s crouching, a big smile on his face. ‘Hey! Is that your dog?’
‘Petal, yeah,’ says Julie, walking to the trashcans and getting rid of the bag. ‘You like Petal?’
‘Of course. She’s the cutest.’
As if on cue, the Bernese Mountain Dog whines and stretches her paw through the fence, bumping the guy on the shoulder. He just laughs, and Julie lets herself notice he has a very… warm laugh. Full of life. Unguarded.
(Julie is just tired, and her brain likes to be weird when she’s tired.)
‘You’ve been coming here a lot? I feel like I see you almost every day,’ she says, walking up to the dog. Petal nuzzles her bum into her, bumping her lightly, and Julie laughs, too.
‘Yeah,’ says the guy. ‘It’s on my way to and from band practice, so I just stop by. I can’t not do it.’
Julie chuckles. ‘Yeah, that’s Petal for you.’
The boy finally stands up, and— oh. He’s cute.
Julie immediately regrets wearing the dinosaur slippers. She clears her throat, then, resting her arm on the fence to stabilise herself. ‘I didn’t know schools were open for band practice this late.’
He laughs, and his nose scrunches, his hand still deep in Petal’s fur. ‘Not that kind of band practice.’
‘Oh, got it.’ She takes him in, then – the beanie and the coat combination, with the jeans and a single chain tied to them, and what definitely is a band tee, even if she doesn’t recognise the name. She tilts her head slightly, eyebrows raising in question. ‘Guitarist?’
‘Lead,’ he says. ‘Good guess. Am I that obvious?’
‘Not really. Well, kind of. I don’t know. It was just a good guess.’
Julie wishes she could bang her head against the wall for this. The boy’s half a foot taller than her, with probably the nicest face she’s seen in a while, and she’s acting like this?
Dios mio.
He glances at his wrist, sighing. ‘I should get going.’
‘Can’t have the lead guitarist be late, am I right?’
Julie!!!
But the guy leans on the fence, giving her a smile that doesn’t seem to be judgmental of her awkwardness. Or maybe he hasn’t noticed. (As if. She’s not that lucky.) Petal jumps up and licks his face and he wipes it, rubbing her ears.
When he glances at Julie, he’s still got that smile on his face, and she’s starting to wonder if he’s just that happy being around dogs, or it’s one of those smiles that never go away.
‘I’m Luke, by the way,’ he says her, extending a hand. ‘Also the lead vocalist of Sunset Curve. Tell your friends.’
She takes his hand, hoping hers isn’t clammy. ‘Julie. And I’m not going to tell my friends about Sunset Swerve unless I know you guys are good.’
The guy—Luke—rolls his eyes. ‘It’s Sunset Curve. I can get you a demo.’
‘Oh, so you guys are playing for real, for real?’
He looks at her a bit confused, then nods. ‘Hell yeah. The demo’s not finished yet, it’ll be a week or two, but I’ll get it to you. I promise.’
‘Okay. Then I might tell my friends.’
Luke flashes her a grin that glues her to the ground and makes her heart skyrocket; she feels heat rushing to her cheeks, and bends down to give Petal a kiss on the top of her head so he doesn’t see.
Julie isn’t usually like this. Boys are… Boys are fine, it’s not like she’s complaining, but they’re not something that will get her flustered. Or, at least, that’s only applicable unless it’s Luke from Sunset Curve, petting her dog and flashing her grins like that one.
‘I better get going,’ he says, but doesn’t move. ‘Petal, c’mere.’
She watches her dog run to him and shower his face with kisses, as he’s crouching again. It’s like Julie isn’t even there – and that’s kind of nice. She likes that Petal likes him. The dog’s got a pretty good sense of who are the people with the bad vibes, friendly as she is.
When Luke glances up at Julie, she literally feels her heart skip a beat. ‘What’s her favourite treat?’
‘Um, I’m pretty sure it’s Milk-Bone. She’s a bit spoiled so she likes the ones with vanilla yoghurt the most, but she only gets them as a special treat.’
‘Okay.’ He rises to his feet, gives Petal one last brushing behind the ears, then stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans, the coat pushed awkwardly behind them. ‘I’ll get her some.’
‘You don’t have to—’
‘I want to,’ Luke says, already walking away. Before Julie gets to say anything else, he gives her a salute. ‘So long, Julie!’
All Julie can do is roll her eyes, giggling like a schoolgirl at this whole interaction – and then buries her head in her hands, shaking it. When she peeks through her fingers, Petal is wagging her tail at her. Julie groans. ‘That was terrible, Pets.’
But Petal nudges her knee, asking for some more cuddles, and Julie brings her in for that. Her girl ends up sprawled across Julie’s bedroom’s floor as she goes back to doing her homework, except her mind is doing everything but paying attention to the composition.
Julie turns on her chair, pouting at Petal. ‘He’s so cute. This is all your fault.’
Petal whines as if she understands her and Julie nearly tips her chair over in order to pet her in leu of an apology. She nuzzles her face into the dog’s fur, wrapping her arms around her.
‘I should probably tell Flynn. What do you think, Petal?’
The dog barks, softly.
Julie hums. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’
Within two minutes, Flynn and Julie have already dissected everything about Luke from Sunset Curve that made him, according to Flynn, “literally the most attractive boy I have ever heard of”. Most of it is just him playing in a band (big plus for both of them), great fashion sense (more Julie than Flynn), a lot of charm (also more Julie than Flynn) and the fact that he adores and is adores by Petal (that was a plus for them both.)
All in all, Julie ends up taking ages to finish her homework, because she can’t get that grin out of her head, but also because Flynn keeps doing her sleuthing to find anything on the boys – but there’s nothing. Like they don’t exist.
Julie guesses it must be a new band name, one they haven’t performed under. There’s nothing wrong about being an extremely underground band.
Anyway. Julie feels the flutters in her belly whenever she thinks of Luke, and his smile, and his laugh, and his style, and—
Oh, no.
—
Petal happens to be with Julie when it’s ten minutes till seven the next day, and she’s clawing at the door to be let out. She practically shoots into the backyard, barking and whining her heart out, and Julie follows.
She looks a bit better than yesterday. No dinosaur slippers, just ordinary sneakers (Air Force 1, because if there’s anything Julie loves almost as much as music, it’s sneakers), sweats, and a crop top that she stole from her mum’s old chest.
‘Hey there, stranger who’s feeding my dog,’ Julie says in lieu of a greeting, unable to fight the grin off her face.
Thankfully, Luke’s own grin matches it when he brings his eyes from Petal to meet hers. ‘Hey there, owner of the best dog ever.’
‘Don’t flatter her too much, she’ll get conceited,’ she notes. ‘What are you feeding her?
Luke raises a bag of Milk-Bone biscuits dipped in vanilla yoghurt to his face.
Julie laughs. ‘I said that’s her special treats!’
‘C’mon,’ he says, grinning mischievously. ‘Every day’s a special day when she’s such a good girl.’
She rolls her eyes, but thanks him, still, because he didn’t have to go out of his way to get her treats (and it’s not like they’re cheap). Julie leans over the fence and watches him play with Petal, asking her to sit, roll over, jump, and the like, giving her treats when she does well.
He glances at her, chewing on something (she sincerely hopes it’s not the treats.) ‘No dinosaur slippers today?’
‘Haven’t had the chance to get all comfy yet.’
‘Shame,’ says Luke, smiling a little. ‘I liked those.’
Julie’s heart does a somersault and she only manages to not show by taking a step back, and messing around with her hair. (Messing around, aka pulling back the front strands and tying them into a small knot at the back; Flynn calls this her nervous hairstyle.)
‘Why Petal?’
‘What do you mean?’ she asks, frowning.
‘I’ve been thinking about this ever since yesterday, but I couldn’t figure out why you’d name her Petal, of all things.’
‘Oh, that.’ Julie’s hand reaches into the dog’s fur and there’s a whine, as she steals attention away from Luke. ‘My mum was in a band called Rose and the Petal Pushers. So it’s sort of a… tribute to her, in a way.’
Julie feels a weight in her throat and swallows it. Luke nods, though, solemnly – in a way that says that he understands, without explicitly saying it. Instead, he reaches into the bag and pulls out a few treats, opening his palm to Julie. ‘Want to give her some?’
‘I’ll have one,’ she says, ‘and you should seriously stop giving her treats now. She still needs to have dinner.’
Luke rolls his eyes, makes a comment about doing whatever the dog wants, then drops into a crouch to let Petal lick his face clean. The sight of them being so familiar and friendly with one another is almost too much for Julie.
‘So your mum was a musician, huh?’
Julie nods, then realises he’s looking at Petal, not her. ‘Yeah, back in the 90s.’
‘What genre?’
‘All of them. But the Petal Pushers were rock, mostly. Grunge kind of thing.’
He looks at her and nods, saying he understands, like some music connoisseur or something. He then looks at her, up and down, but not in an objective way – more slightly confused, if anything. ‘You don’t seem like much of a rocker.’
Julie scoffs, crossing her arms on her chest. ‘Please. The way I dress says nothing about what I like.’
‘Okay, my bad.’ Luke raises his hands in defence, but all his face is showing is amusement. ‘What do you like, then?’
‘Rock, for starters. And then a little bit of everything.’
‘Do you sing? Or play an instrument?’
Petal whines for attention, then, and Luke starts talking to her, cooing to her like a baby.
Julie feels herself drag her lower lip into her mouth, teeth sharp. It’s not like she’s unwilling to talk about her music, or anything, it’s just that it’s a little weird to be talking about it to someone to whom it probably matters just as much as it does to her (and is not Flynn.) If Luke is going to band practices almost every single day and spends hours there (because he always stops by for a minute around ten o’clock, too), and if they’re making a demo, then they’re serious. This is just reminding her of how she was starting to get serious, too, and then…
‘I should probably get going,’ Luke says.
Julie blinks herself out of her daze, nodding. ‘Yeah. Can’t make the band wait.’
‘Take these.’ He extends the hand with the treats over the fence, staring at it pointedly, wiggling his eyebrows (enough to make her giggle.) ‘She’s the only dog I’d feed.’
Gently, she pushes his hand back (trying not to think about the shivers running down her spine at the touch). ‘Save them for some other day, then. If you’re going to keep coming by.’
It’s not a question, but it’s not not a question, either.
Luke sighs, giving her a smile. He takes the bag back and stuffs his into the pocket of his leather jacket (today’s choice). ‘It’s Petal. How could I not come by?’
At the sound of her name, the dog jumps up the fence and starts barking until Luke gives her one last pat. He turns around, then, saluting Julie again. ‘See you around, Julie.’
She leans over the fence, grinning at him. ‘Don’t feed my dog too many sweets next time!’
His laughter reaches her ears first, and then he’s turning on his heel and walking backwards, shouting, ‘Won’t if you catch me again!’
It ends at this, and Julie comes back into the house with a heart bursting with excitement. Her dad gives her a knowing look, preparing dinner ingredients in the kitchen, but doesn’t say anything.
Flynn is the first person she texts, again, lying on the floor with her head propped up on Petal’s side.
So what if she likes talking to Luke? So what if she likes the idea that there’s a really cute guy who seems really nice and plays in a band and is maybe flirting with her? She’s only human, and so is he.
It’s fine, she tells herself.
When she sees him again three hours later, coming back from his practice, she thinks that he throws a glance towards the house as he scratches behind Petal’s ears. She wonders if he sees her, shrouded in the dark, playing with the keyboard; she wonders what if he’s hoping to see her.
It’s just a crush. Crushes are normal.
(Ha.)
—
Luke stops by every day, and Julie knows for sure, because she goes out to meet him every day. It’s a routine, by now – Luke comes by and Petal demands to be let out of the house (Julie’s dad doesn’t like the idea of having a dog door), and then it’s the three of them, chatting about everything and nothing at once.
He starts coming by a little earlier, and staying a little longer. Julie learns that the band (Luke, Alex, Reggie, Bobby) is working on a four-song demo (Now or Never, Lakeside Reflection, Late Last Night, In Your Starlight) that they’re planning to send to some big-shots around LA, hoping to get signed. They’re also hoping to get some gigs, since they’re pretty good with covers and their original stuff, according to Luke, is ‘straight up what the rock scene needed.’
(She knows In Your Starlight is a ballad, because his cheeks get a little rosy when she inquires about it, and he dodges the question. It’s only later that she finds out that it’s the song he helped Alex write, and Alex based it on his boyfriend, Willie. Julie thinks it’s cute that he can write rock ballads.)
What Luke learns is that her best friend Flynn is a mixer and a DJ whom Julie promised to hook them up with if she likes the demo (she only told him this at his last visit; she didn’t want to feel like he’s only hanging out with her because he can use her.) He also learns Julie’s in her junior year in the music programme at an art school, and she learns that he and all of the bandmates are seniors at the public school.
It’s all fine and dandy, a friendship blossoming, when Julie starts to feel music growing back inside of her – and not the kind that she’s been struggling to take out to pass her classes for a while now.
Talking to Luke is different to talking to anyone else about music. He still doesn’t know her side of the story, but he’s the kind of person who can talk about what music and creating it means to him for days, if she’d let him. (Some days, she wishes she could.) It’s about his energy – it’s contagious, the way he adores everything related to music so earnestly, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. When she thinks of music nowadays, it’s his grin that pops up in her mind, the sound of him playing a few riffs in the middle of the street for her, the melodies he’s humming when he thinks she can’t hear.
It’s not that Luke brings music back into her life, per se. It’s more so that he brings a different perspective, a different attitude. At school, everyone is focused on the technicalities, on success, on whatever it is that will make them better. Luke just enjoys what he’s doing. When he messes up, he doesn’t even care, as long as he gets something out of it.
It’s easy. He makes music seem easy, when for the past year, for Julie, it’s been everything but.
So when she enters her mother’s studio, wipes the dust off the piano, it feels like she’s entering another world.
Julie shivers; he rubs her arms gently, Petal tapping into the studio with her, exploring everything for the first time. The girl smiles at the sight; some part of her mum will always be around. ‘You liking it here, Pets?’
Petal barks in response. She takes that as a yes.
The next few minutes are spent looking around the place. It’s dusty and will use a good airing, but it still feels as much as a home as it ever did. Julie sits at the piano and closes her eyes, letting herself drift off into the memory of her mother by her side, playing the chords to the last song they began composing together.
The music sheet with the notes and lyrics for it is still on top of the piano, where they’d left it.
Julie’s fingers tremble when she pulls up the piano cover. The keys feel familiar and alien at once, and Julie presses them gently. They’re a little out of tune, but they’re good enough.
Petal walks over to her and drops next to her feet with a huff, getting a small laugh from the girl. ‘Oh, you want me to play you a song, huh?’
Julie presses a few more keys, glancing at the sheet despite knowing the chords and the melody by heart. It’s in her mother’s handwriting, and Julie feels herself shaking a little, but she pushes through.
She think of Luke, and his infectious adoration for music, and feels it bubbling inside of her, too. The muscles in her fingers and relax, taking on a life of their own as they glide over the piano keys; she thinks of Petal, then, and her dad and her little brother, and the music soars out of her.
It’s everything she thought she’d lost when her mum died. When she got diagnosed with cancer and the entire world stopped spinning, and now it’s spinning again, just as enticing and lovely as before.
Her voice gains on the intensity, on volume, and her fingers abandon the bare structure of chords from the paper and delve into a complex, intricate melody, that Julie feels rather than hears, and it’s…
It’s everything.
When she sings the final lyrics and plays the final notes, she stays with her fingers on the keys, letting the sound ring. Her eyes are closed and she’s a little out of breath, but she’s entirely forgotten the sheer euphoria of singing and playing and feeling like she’s doing it with her heart, not her head.
It’s when she opens her eyes that she realises Petal is gone, and there’s a very familiar voice coming from the outside.
Julie checks her phone; it’s only five o’clock.
He’s early.
She springs to her feet with ease, not even bothering to close the garage/studio door as she walks out of it, the Luke-smile already warming her cheeks. It’s been two weeks since the first time they talked, and she still gets all giddy when she realises he’s around, so she fiddles with her hands behind her back as she approaches the fence.
Luke is already crouching, hanging Petal one of her daily treats. Julie managed to convince him to only give her one each time he passes, and they both pretend it’s just one, despite knowing it’s two.
She throws him the usual, ‘Hey, stranger,’ and he throws it right back.
Except his smile is different; it’s deeper, somehow, eyes glistening with something she doesn’t quite understand. It’s as if he’s on edge, but not in a bad way. It’s intense enough that Julie feels another shudder run through her.
‘Was that you?’ he asks. ‘The piano and the singing?’
Julie pulls her lips into her mouth, tying the front pieces of her hair into a knot. ‘Yeah.’
He shakes his hand a little. A shaky chuckle falls from his lips and then he’s on his feet, leaning on the fence, looking at her like he’s never seen anything quite like her. ‘I didn’t know you could play. Or sing.’
‘Well, you never asked.’
‘I did, but you didn’t answer, so I figured that was a no.’
‘Yeah,’ Julie says, unsure of what else there is to say.
Singing, or playing the piano – it’s never been something strictly private. But the thing that she shared with her mum, the energy, the hunger for music, that was private. And as much as she likes Luke, she doesn’t know how she feels about him knowing about this.
‘Julie, that was…’ He shakes his head again, then spreads his hands around it with a exploding sound; his face stretches into a smile that’s full of disbelief. ‘I swear, I’ve never heard anyone sing like that. You’re better than Alicia Keys. Than Adele. All of them.’
If it wasn’t for the way he’s practically bursting with energy saying this, maybe Julie would feel a little embarrassed; now, she was just amused. ‘Thanks.’
‘And what was that song? I really liked it.’
‘It was…’ she trails off, sticking her hands in the back pockets of her baggy trousers. ‘My mum and I wrote it before she passed.’
‘Seriously?’ Luke’s eyes are about to pop out of his head; he can’t even pay attention to Petal, who’s whining for him. ‘Julie, you’ve got some serious talent. You need to meet my boys.’
Julie lets out a little laugh. ‘I think I’ll pass. It’s not something I do a lot.’
‘It sounds great, Julie. I don’t think there’s anyone who could not love it.’
‘No, I mean – I haven’t done this in almost a year.’ She makes a vague hand gesture and feels herself a little lightheaded, a little out of breath. ‘Played like this. Sang like this.’
Luke leans over the fence and takes hold of her wrist, tugging on it lightly until she’s raising her eyes to meet his. Merely the way he’s looking at her—the same earnest intensity he’s got around him when he’s talking about music—is enough to send a jolt through her body.
She’s not on the verge of crying. She’s not.
‘Julie. I’m going to sound stupid right now, but you’ve got something. For a moment there, when I heard you sing from the other end of the street, I felt like everything was possible. You made me… You made me feel like I was in heaven, or something. I felt like I was privileged to hear that. To feel that.’ He licks his lips, shaking his head a little. ‘If you don’t go out there, with a voice like that, you’re doing the world a disservice.’
The moment is charged, and Julie isn’t sure what with. His hand is still on her wrist, thumb drawing gentle circles into her skin. Even Petal has gone quiet, and is lying between the two of them.
Julie swallows the gulp in her throat. ‘Thank you.’
Luke’s eyes drop to their hands and he lets go, crouching to pet Petal again. There’s a few moments of silence, and Julie enjoys the sound of wind, and distant cars.
‘I just don’t think you should waste all that potential,’ he says, quietly, as if admitting something.
Julie sighs. She doesn’t comment on it, and he seems to have dropped the subject beyond that comment. She engages him into a conversation about why he’s so early today (just hanging out with Alex, practice is still on for later), and things get back into normal.
(There’s still the sense of something other between them, but Julie pushes that into the back of her mind.)
Luke is saying goodbye to Petal, about to give Julie the usual salute, when she calls him back. He turns around with eyebrows all the way up to his beanie, and a spring to his step as he walks back.
She rests her chin on the top of the fence, giving him a little smile. ‘Do you want to walk Petal with me? Tomorrow?’
‘Seriously?’ Luke’s eyebrows go even further up, and then when Julie nods, his face breaks out into the biggest smile. ‘Yeah! Absolutely, when should I get here?’
‘Six? Petal likes long walks,’ Julie says, and her mind adds, and so do I.
Luke nods, and then it’s a sealed deal. He walks away with the same spring in his step, bouncing from one foot to another, his guitar bopping against his back. Julie laughs at the sight, relief washing off of her.
We’re going on a walk tomorrow.
When she gets back into the house, Ray and Carlos are watching her with the same smiles on their faces that Luke had. ‘We’re proud of you,’ her dad tells her, and then there’s happy tears flowing from everybody’s eyes as they do the family hug.
Carlos pats her on the back. ‘I’m glad to have you back.’
When Julie gets back to her room later, filled with food her Tia Victoria has brought, she lies in her bed with music in her head – something new; something she is yet to discover. There are melodies flying around and she pictures herself catching them, rearranging them, until it’s two in the morning and she’s writing fervently into her notebook, trying to get it all down.
It’s Luke’s words that keep her going; You made me feel like I was in heaven.
Julie falls asleep with a smile on her face, and warmth around her heart.
—
It’s surprisingly easy to fall into a different dynamic of life – going on walks with Luke and Petal every day at six o’clock. Julie builds her schedule around the new development and it not only forces her to actually do things according to plan, but it makes her more productive, more vibrant, more everything.
(And that includes the ever-growing crush on Luke from Sunset Curve that she adamantly refuses to acknowledge.)
It usually goes like this: Julie will get the leash for Petal, and some snacks for her and Luke. (She has learned he likes salty crisps, paprika crisps, popcorn, or anything that’s crunchy, really. That, and gummy bears, but a really specific brand that you only get in European stores.) Luke gets the treats for Petal. He arrives at six o’clock, sharp, and Petal bursts through the door to get to him. They head a little outside of Julie’s neighbourhood, to a dog park, where Petal gets to play, and they get to hang out.
The ‘hey, stranger’ and a salute with ‘see you around’ are the staple of their friendship. They’ve never had a day where they missed these.
(Julie doesn’t know what these little habits tell about them, and she doesn’t want to think about it.)
One week into these walks, the routine is ingrained into Julie’s mind. They’re sitting on a bench in the park, munching on store-bought popcorn, watching Petal. (She doesn’t think about how easily an unsuspecting stranger could assume they are together. She doesn’t think about how much she wouldn’t mind that.)
‘Hey, Julie?’
‘Mhm?’
‘I’ve got something for you.’ Julie glances at him and watches him reach into the pocket of his coat, taking out a CD with a jewel case. His hands are a little shaky as he gives it to her. ‘It’s the first version, but yeah. Let me know what you think.’
On the front side, there’s the logo of Sunset Curve (she likes the wave-like shape of it quite a lot). On the back is the set list – the four songs he’d told her about. When she opens it, their faces meet her on the left – Luke in the middle, a blond guy (’That’s Alex, he’s the only one who can pull off that hairstyle’) and jet-black haired one (’None other than Reggie’) at his sides, and one with shoulder-length hair (’Bobby, my man’) behind him.
She meets his gaze, grinning. ‘You do realise you’ve shown them to me before, right?’
‘Yeah, but,’ Luke argues, ‘we all look really good in this and I’ve shown you the bad stuff.’
Julie bumps him on the head with the jewel case, and he shrieks that this is invaluable. ‘Julie, what you’re holding is one of the two—two!—copies of our demo. First version. First mixing. It’s as raw as Sunset Curve will ever get. This this will be priceless someday.’
She bumps him with her shoulder, then, laughing at the seriousness of his expression. ‘Okay, okay, don’t get all wound up about this. I’ll give it a listen.’
‘You’ll love it,’ he says, radiant with happiness. ‘I promise.’
‘Yeah, I better, otherwise I’ll regret the last month.’
‘Don’t be like that.’ Luke pouts, giving her what she deems to be an incredibly powerful puppy expression. ‘I’m your favourite guitarist.’
‘Actually, there’s this guy Nick, and—’
‘Please,’ he scoffs, waving his hand at what Julie is saying. ‘He’s not half as good as I am.’
‘He’s pretty good.’
He bops her on the nose and she swats his hand away, giggling. ‘That’s because you’ve only heard me playing without my guitar being actually plugged, and in the middle of the street, with no warming up.’
Julie leans into his face until they’re merely inches apart – then blows gently. ‘That’s all excuses.’
She’s half-convinced his eyes flicker to her lips when he backs away, gaze searching for Petal. Even her own heart is doing thing around her chest; mouth dry and palms sweaty, but firm in her lap, where they should be. (Things like these have been happening more often – touches that shouldn’t be touches, eyes flickering to places they shouldn’t, gazes lasting a heartbeat too long.)
Luke’s hand covers hers, still holding the CD, and he gives her a small nudge with the shoulder. ‘Just listen to it.’
She nods, and that seems to be the end of it, because Luke launches into a speech about the value of street art such as graffiti (for whatever reason – apparently he and Willie got into a discussion about this) and Julie finds herself half listening, half just… watching him.
Watching the curve of his nose, the line of his jaw, the spike of his eyebrows whenever there’s something exciting on his mind. How his face writes out his emotions before words can, and how she can read it with almost no effort. She takes note of the fact that he’s wearing his beanie less and less, letting his hair be all wild and not tampered with because she said that it makes him look less like a rock star (while really she just thinks he looks better without a beanie). He’s very animated when he speaks, using his whole body instead of just the words; the endearing way of his half-smile when he thinks he’s managing to hide it, but she can still see right through him. How his eyes light up when he’s talking about music, or his friends, or the grand plans they have for their lives.
How he’s starting to include her in these plans, from time to time. He puts her on the sidelines, but she’s always there somewhere, having her own little story.
(She likes to think she’s become as much of a part of his life as he has become of hers.)
When she gets home, she listens to the demo. Ray walks into the living room during Now or Never and he’s bopping her head to it, saying that it’s not bad music, if not something he didn’t expect from her. ‘Sounds like the things your mum listened to in the 90s,’ he tells her.
Julie melts after that.
Late Last Night is a lot like Now Or Never, except leaning more into the guitar and the bass than the drums. Luke’s riff is far more intricate than she expected it to be – all the boys are better than she expected them to be. Like, she knew Luke was good, but this… If they were born in the 90s, they wouldn’t have had a problem breaking onto the scene. The drums push the beat into her heart, the bass just settles it in her blood, and it’s the guitar that makes her want to rise from the couch and sing along, jumping on the tip of her toes.
In Your Starlight is a ballad (a rock one, but still a ballad) and the raw emotion in it brings Julie to tears. It’s talking about high school sweethearts, and Julie guesses it’s not an entirely personal song, but she can still feel the rawness of it. Alex gets a solo at the bridge with Bobby keeping up the rhythm, Reggie adding flavour on the bass, and Luke’s guitar playing a countermelody to Alex’s singing. It’s a strong song, and it’s one that would move hundreds in the audience, given the chance.
Lakeside Reflection brings the demo back to pure rock. It sounds a lot like Guns ‘N Roses and some of the Trevor Wilson songs, the classic rock that her mum brought her up on. It’s about finding yourself at a lake, which Julie guesses represents a standstill in one’s life, and looking back to see what was good, what was bad, and how to move on. (This one is her favourite. It reminds her of the day she played the piano for the first time again – it’s kind of a stopping point, and the song feels like a moment to just breathe.)
Julie cycles to Flynn’s, just to give her the CD, and listen to it again. There’s a little spark of pride in her chest when Flynn loves it.
(She thinks of Luke, and wonders how he’d feel if she could manage to convey everything that the demo made her feel. He knows he penned nearly all of the lyrics on it and it’s a labour of love of the the entire band, but he’s the one who put it all together. The one who made all of their talents shine.
She wonders how he’d feel if she told him it made her fall in love a little bit.)
—
Luke nearly cries when she gives him the review, along with the CD. (She asks for a copy, or for the boys to put the damn songs on Spotify or something, so she can actually listen to them easily.) She doesn’t tell him the part about falling in love, but she feels her body get set on fire when he pulls her into a bear hug, Petal jumping around them.
They’ve barely left Julie’s front yard and Luke’s already shooting her a million questions, his thoughts running a mile a minute. She lets him get it all out, walking Petal as they walk toward the dog park; just watching him get this excited because she listened to the demo makes her heart warm, again. She’s still not used to that feeling.
Luke ends up throwing an arm around her shoulder and smacking a kiss on her temple, right through her hair. ‘I swear, Jules, you’re an angel.’
She chuckles and rolls her eyes. ‘Shut up, I’m just saying it how it is.’
His eyes form a squint that she’s learned shows amused disagreement. His hand is still over her shoulder and their hips are bumping into each other a little, but she doesn’t mind. She likes the way his hand is burning an imprint into her skin.
‘Which one was your favourite?’
‘Lakeside Reflection,’ she replies, without a shadow of a doubt.
His eyebrows do the shooting thingy. ‘Really? I thought you’d like In Your Starlight the best.’
‘What, just because I’m a girl?’
‘No, because I know emotion is important to you when it comes to music, and I thought that was the rawest one.’
She looks at him and he holds her gaze, as serious as never before. For a moment, she wonders how it’s possible than within a month, they’d gotten to know each other so well – enough that he can tell what kind of music she’d like just based on their little conversations. What kind of quality of music she’d like. And she knows all his little mannerisms, and her body responds to his touch with high alertness and comfort, zero fear.
It’s like they’ve known each other forever, in some ways.
(If soulmates exist, echoes Michael’s voice from The Good Place, they’re not found, they’re made.)
(Julie wonders if she has finally crossed the line.)
She clears her throat, tearing her gaze away; she feels cold at the sudden lack of this connection. ‘It’s a love song to yourself and the memories, kind of,’ she says, trying to keep her voice steady. ‘The arrangement of music is the best in Late Last Night, I think, but I really like how dissonant melodies feel in some places in Lakeside Reflection. It’s like the music is following the emotion that the person is going through. And I guess that’s what I like about it – it’s not telling me how to feel, it’s just… letting me feel, I guess.’
There’s a moment of a pause, and then: ‘Jules, I could kiss you right now.’
Julie feels as if she might pass out, but then he looks away and walks six feet ahead of her, backwards so he can keep looking at her as he rambles on about all the ideas she’s just given him, all the improvements he’s going to make.
Yet all Julie can think about is the I could kiss you right now. And how he didn’t mean it. And how he said it so easily that it must mean that there’s nothing else to them than just friendship.
Julie feels like a part of her wants to sink into the ground, and another part wants to be happy, because that eases things.
What she does is tightens her grip on Petal’s leach and listens to Luke rant, occasionally dropping in with her own comments. It takes her mind away from the moment they shared and soon enough, things fall back into place. Luke throws an arm around her again when they’re on their bench, watching Petal play, and he’s going on and on about the demo.
Julie puts a hand on his thigh; it’s enough to shut him up for a moment. ‘I think you need to take a breather.’
He laughs, a little awkwardly, then leans into the back of the bench. ‘That bad, huh?’
‘No, but you’re going to overwhelm your brain with ideas and forget them all.’ She pats his thigh before putting her hand back into her lap, giving him a smile. ‘I know what I’m talking about.’
‘See?’ he says, turning in place so his body his facing hers. ‘This is what I’m talking about. We need someone to sort out what we’re thinking, to keep us in check.’
‘Dude, I’m not the girl for you.’
‘No, you’re exactly the girl for me. Us,’ he adds, a little rushed, with a grin that shakes with excitement. ‘We’re chaos, Jules. Complete chaos. We’re just throwing ideas left and right, doing riffs then forgetting them, and we need someone to just prevent us from doing that.’
Julie leans into the bench, now. The side of his arm is pressed against the back of her shoulders and she feels like it’s setting her skin on fire – then reminds her that he doesn’t see her that way.
‘I don’t know,’ she says. ‘I’ve got a lot going on right now.’
‘I know, and I’m not asking anything of you,’ he tells her, then groans when she shoots him a look. ‘Fine, I’m just asking you to give us a chance. Maybe you’ll like it. Maybe it’ll give you a different perspective for your little music programme.’
‘My little music programme? Seriously?’
‘You know what I mean!’
She can only keep up the pretence for so long, so she breaks into a smile; she has a faint feeling he’s twirling the tips of her hair around his fingers. ‘You’ve already given me a different perspective. My grades have been skyrocketing.’
‘Wait, really?’
‘Yep!’
His grin stretches wide and she can literally feel him vibrating (she didn’t know people did that, but apparently Luke from Sunset Curve does). ‘Okay, then you can get even better if you do this for me. Maybe you’ll like us enough to stay.’
There’s a different look in his eyes, one that she hasn’t seen before. It’s what she’d expect to see when threading unknown ground – but this isn’t unknown. They’ve talked before about her coming to see his band, and they’ve been talking about her coming out to help for the entirety of today.
Unless…
‘Stay as in hang out,’ she says, slowly, ‘or stay as in join?’
He shrugs, but it’s a little stilted. ‘Either. Either’s fine by me.’
‘Do you have a preference?’
‘Obviously.’ He leans even closer, until he’s brushing the front strands behind her ears, moments before she would’ve done it. ‘I told you how I feel about your voice. Obviously, I think it would be great to have you in the band, leading the vocals with me, but I’m not pushing it on you. I haven’t even talked about it with the boys. It’s just an option.’
Julie lets out a shaky sigh. The idea of joining Sunset Curve hasn’t ever crossed her mind, especially not with not having met the rest of the bandmates. It’s not her style of music, either; she prefers performing blues and pop to straight-rock, even if she enjoys listening to it. She doesn’t know if that would work.
(She doesn’t know if she’s ready for it, even if it’s everything she’s ever wanted.)
‘I don’t know,’ she admits. ‘I’m not really looking to be joining a band right now.’
His hand is gentle on rubbing her shoulder, a little awkwardly, but with good intentions. ‘All I’m asking you is to come to a band practice, see if you have any ideas. I know you’ll work well with the guys, and they all want to meet you anyway.’
Julie’s head snaps into his direction. ‘You told them about me?’
‘Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?’ he counters, frowning a little – the way he says it makes her question seem stupid. ‘We hang out all the time. Obviously they’re going to know about us.’
Us, her mind echoes, and she mentally slaps the thought out of it.
She tugs on her lips, looking out for Petal; she’s too busy running around with a German Shepherd to pay attention to what’s going on at the bench.
‘Okay,’ says Julie. ‘I’ll come on Saturday.’
‘Why not now?’ asks Luke, and he’s moving around on the bench until he’s literally crouching on it, jumping on the balls of his feet; he’s literally a ball of excitement. ‘You’re already with me. We can just take Petal and go to the studio. It’s not far from here.’
She laughs at him, pushing him a little. ‘I’ve got homework.’
‘Screw that. You’re brilliant, Julie, at songwriting and singing and playing the piano and dissecting music and I am not letting you waste another minute of that talent!’
And then he’s got hold of her hands and he’s dragging her onto her feet – he pulls too hard and she bumps into his chest, so he wraps his arms around her to prevent her from escaping, and all she can smell is his aftershave, a little bit of stale sweat, and the distinct smell of Luke. Then he’s calling for Petal while she’s bursting out in giggles, trying to wriggle her way out of his arms.
‘C’mon, Jules, you could be a star!’
‘Well I’m a star who’s got homework and whose dad is paying a lot to keep her in the program, okay?’ she says, her belly hurting from laughter. ‘Luke! I promise I’ll come on Saturday. I really can’t today.’
Luke rests his chin on the top of her head and she groans; Petal is ignoring him, but he still won’t let her go. ‘I’ll do your homework for you.’
Julie laughs. ‘Can you really fill out a music sheet?’
‘Yeah,’ he says, and then when she starts laughing even harder, he tickles her a little. ‘Fine, maybe I can’t. But you promise to come on Saturday, right?’
‘Yes!’
‘Okay.’
‘Can you let me go now?’
‘No. I’m comfortable.’
She groans again, but doesn’t complain. (In his arms, she’s comfortable, too.)
—
When Luke comes to pick her up on Saturday, she’s already waiting for him. She looks a bit better than she usually is – baggy trousers with big patches sown in, and a crop top that’s from her mum’s collection, from the 90s. Even the leather jacket, adorned with pins, is from the same era. (It makes her feel like a Petal Pusher. It also matches with whatever 90s outfit Luke’s going on, and she likes the feeling of that.)
The moment he spots her, his face breaks out into a smile big enough to run shivers down her spine. When he gets close enough, she greets him with a ‘Hey, stranger,’ and he throws an arm around her shoulder, echoing her words back to her.
Luke doesn’t kiss her cheek, but he leans forward as if he’s going to, and backs away at the last moment.
He takes Petal’s leash, instead, and they start making their way to the studio (Alex’s garage.) ‘You ready?’
‘Are your bandmates going to eat me?’
‘Hopefully not.’
‘Then yeah,’ she says, ‘I’m ready. But just to be a music critic.’
‘A connoisseur,’ he says, the word laced with pride. Julie told him what it means last week, and he hasn’t stopped using it since. ‘You’ll be fine. Willie’s coming, too, so you won’t be the only one watching us.’
‘Oh my god, I get to meet Willie?’
‘Yeah. I didn’t know you’d be this excited.’
Julie scoffs, rolling her eyes. ‘You know I’ve always wanted to learn how to skate, and you said WIllie is really good at it. Also, he sounds like, the coolest person ever.’
Luke frowns, squeezing her shoulder a little until he pulls her close enough so that their legs are basically entangled as they walk. ‘Take that back. I’m the coolest person ever.’
‘Nope.’
‘Say it!’
‘Nope!’
There’s a groan, and then Julie’s being squished into a bear hug again, Petal’s leash lying on the floor as she barks around them and he tickles Julie into oblivion. Until she waves the white flag, that is, but he still pokes his fingers into her sides throughout the rest of their walk to Alex’s.
Julie has learnt that Luke’s primary way of showing anything is through touch. She’s never really been the one for constantly touching people, but it’s as if he needs to be touching her to be able to stay alive. Every time there’s a chance to hug her, tickle her, even tackle her, sometimes, he’s going to take it. It’s cheek kisses when he’s extremely happy, too, and sometimes he just has an arm around her shoulder or plays with her hair because his hands don’t have anything better to do.
(The worst part is how much she likes it. How much she feels wanted by it, how much the little moments when she can tell that he’s not even thinking about touching her but it comes like second nature, mean to her.)
‘This is the crib,’ he says, pointing at a garage not unlike hers. ‘This is where Sunset Curve was born.’
‘He’s lying!’ comes from the inside, and a boy with a leather jacket and a bass guitar thrown over his shoulder pops out of the door. ‘Sunset Curve was born in the back of our seventh grade history class.’
‘Fine,’ Luke says, ‘Then reborn here. We didn’t actually start properly making our own music till about a year ago.’
‘Makes sense,’ she says, referring to how Flynn wasn’t able to find anything on them. Luke doesn’t inquire about it, because Petal is dragging Julie in the direction of the boy. ‘I’m Julie, this is Petal, and she really likes to be petted.’
The boy’s already on his knees, letting Petal shower him with kisses. ‘I’m Reggie and I love dogs almost as much as I love pizza.’
Julie laughs and Luke’s at her side, adding, ‘And that’s a lot.’
Luke locks the fence behind them and Julie takes Petal off the leash. She might give the boys a few jumping kisses, but she’s the furthest thing from dangerous, so she reckons it should be fine. Reggie asks about a million questions about Petal as they walk into the garage, when Luke takes her away and introduces them to Bobby, first. He’s nice enough, but Luke tells her that Willie’s on the couch, and Julie all but drops herself onto the couch to talk to him.
‘Hi,’ she says, grinning. ‘You’re Willie, Alex’s boyfriend, right?’
The long-haired boy mimics her facial expression and nods, as if flattered at the way she knows of him. ‘Yeah. Yeah, that’s me. And you’re Luke’s—’
‘Friend,’ chimes in Luke, appearing out of nowhere. ‘The one with the dog. Julie.’
Realisation dawns over Willie’s face. ‘Oh, so you’re the one Luke can’t shut up about.’
Julie feels her cheeks light on fire and judging by the earnest laughter coming from the skater boy, Luke’s face must be along the same lines. After that, he’s quick to introduce her to Alex, and then they’re off to do some warmup exercises, with her and Willie watching from the couch. Petal is lying in front of her legs, watching Luke with as much awe as Julie is feeling.
Thing is, Julie never considered how dangerous it would be to watch him play, especially after she figured out he sees her only as a friend. It’s ten minutes into the warmups and they’re starting to rock out, play with riffs, and the garage is starting to get a little warm. Luke’s a little sweaty, pushing back his hair because he didn’t take the beanie, and she finds out that he’s been wearing cutoff band shirts underneath the leather jackets and plaid coats this entire time, and she consequently learns that he’s got a lot more muscle than she could’ve given him.
Like, he’s looking good.
‘Yeah,’ whispers Willie at her side, ‘that was me when I first saw Alex play.’
Julie shakes herself out of it. ‘What? Oh, no, Luke and I aren’t— It’s not like that.’
Her cheeks are on fire again and she sees Luke wink at her when he finishes the riff, letting Bobby take the lead, and Willie is just smiling at her like he knows something she doesn’t. ‘Don’t worry about it. I won’t tell.’
‘Oh my god.’ She groans, shaking her head. ‘Is it that obvious?’
‘A little. But don’t worry about it,’ he adds again. ‘Seriously. We’ve all been there.’
‘Okay.’ She nods, more to herself than to him. ‘It’s fine, right?’
‘It’s fine.’
She gives him a smile of thanks and he gives her a smile of reassurance, and then she’s back to looking at Luke, watching him perform, and wishing she could’ve anticipated this happening.
He’s good, and she’s not thinking about only his looks. He plays the guitar like it’s an extension of him rather than just an instrument, and he plays like he doesn’t care about anything else in the room other than music itself. He sings at the top of his lungs, then takes one glance at Julie and shifts to the top of his diaphragm, where she’d previously told him he needs to be singing from if he wants a stronger voice. There’s another wink, and Julie finds herself giggling, unable to tear her eyes from his fingers; swift across the neck of the guitar.
There’s bits and pieces of her advice scattered through the song (Late Last Night) and she likes the way it’s sounding now, that they go through it.
When it’s finished, Luke asks for her thoughts. She gives them a few instructions, telling them to let Alex take the lead when Luke sings the bridge, stripping the other instruments to their bare essentials, and Luke has got that look in his eyes again – the one he had when he said he could kiss her right then.
Julie tries not to think about it as she keeps going, rearranging the song.
The boys do another take, and it’s a lot better; it’s got a balance that’s almost like a wave, crashing in the final verse when all the instruments kick in.
‘You’re really good at this,’ notes Bobby, and she just smiles as she thanks him.
‘Oh, she is.’ Luke’s grinning at her, glowing with pride – because of me? ‘Wait till you hear her sing. It’ll blow you away.’
There’s raised eyebrows all around the room and Julie lets out a light chuckle. ‘Not today, though.’
‘But that’s a promise of another time, right?’ asks Luke.
She just nods at him. Yeah, she thinks, I like it here. (With you.)
‘Okay, then, boys. Let’s do the next one.’ He goes back behind the microphone-less microphone stand and strums a chord, looking straight at her as he says, ‘This one’s for Jules.’
They play Lakeside Reflection.
If Julie said there was a rawness on the demo he’d given her that was the reason she loved the song so much, hearing it played live, with the little changes she’d suggested they implement, it’s so much more. It’s better, but it’s even more raw, somehow, playing into the dissonance and the melodies and harmonies (the boys are excellent harmonisers), and bringing the feeling of reminiscing to another level.
Throughout the entire song, Luke holds her gaze, fearlessly. She thinks back to her life before him – when she was still afraid of entering her mum’s studio, when music was in the shape of music sheets instead of balls of energy and boys vibrating at the mere thought of her singing. She thinks to all the little touches, the little glances, the little moments that lasted too long, and it’s as if the song is talking about them – daring her, almost, to voice what she wants.
(What do I want?)
In the final chords of the song, right after the end of Luke’s final verse, Julie leaves the garage. Petal follows, and it’s the two of them standing outside as she’s catching her breath, pushing the tears away.
She doesn’t even know why she feels like crying, except for the fact that she ended up feeling something for someone who doesn’t feel the same way.
Julie doesn’t notice the song ended or that Luke’s with her until she’s wrapped up in his arms, letting herself feel a little safer in the moment.
‘You okay?’
Julie just nods. There’s no tears, and him holding her always makes her feel better, so she says, ‘You know I really like that song.’
She feels his body vibrate as he laughs. ‘Seriously? That much?’
‘Mhm. You guys are just too good.’
Her head rests against his chest and he’s rubbing soothing circles into her back, swaying a little to the rhythm of whatever the boys inside are playing (she’s thinking it’s a version of In Your Starlight).
‘Jules,’ he says, quiet.
‘Yeah?’
‘I’ve been thinking. I’m not sure how to ask this—’
‘I’m not joining your band just yet,’ she interjects, laughing a little.
She almost hears him roll his eyes. ‘That’s not what I was going to ask, but nice to know it’s a possibility.’
‘Just a possibility. Don’t let it get to your head.’
He’s quiet for a moment and all she can hear is his heart beating; she wonders what he’s thinking. What he’s looking at. If Petal has a better feeling of what he’s about to ask her than she does.
‘I think that we could go and grab dinner, next time we’re walking Petal.’
If he wasn’t holding her, Julie thinks she would’ve melted into the ground. She pulls herself off of him, enough so that she can meet his eyes, but still have his arms wrapped around her. ‘Seriously?’
His face falls and he lets out a shaky sigh. ‘We don’t have to—’
‘No, stop.’ She closes her eyes, tells herself to breathe, then opens them, letting the smile take over. ‘I thought you didn’t like me that way.’
He frowns, then laughs, then realises she’s being serious. ‘How? I’ve been hanging out with you all the time, trying to get you to pay attention to me, even showed you the songs we haven’t shown anybody.’
‘Yeah, but you also said “Jules, I could kiss you right now” and then you didn’t, so I figured that you wouldn’t have said that if you didn’t want to kiss me.’
‘For the record, that’s my saying. I’ve said this to every single person in that room. Even Willie, which didn’t make Alex happy, but I didn’t mean it, so.’ He trails off, eyes softening the longer he looks at her, shaking his head a little. ‘I meant it, actually. Just wasn’t brave enough to do it.’
‘We’re idiots,’ Julie says, giggling. She buries her face in his shoulder, feeling him laugh, too, and then they’re both laughing like nothing funnier’s ever been said. ‘I can’t believe we’re genuinely this dumb.’
‘I can. Well, for me, anyway,’ he adds, when Julie shoots him a look. ‘Also, just to make sure – that’s a yes to dinner, right?’
‘Luke, I—’ She swallows her words, and lets her hands wrap themselves around his neck. ‘You never cease to amaze me.’
‘Really? Cause you haven’t even seen my best riffs, I do a really mean live rendition of Now or Never and it’s got—’
‘Shut up,’ Julie says, and then pulls him down until their lips meet. He smiles into the kiss and she does, too, and then they’re laughing again and then they’re kissing again, and he’s got his hands firm on her waist, pulling her just a little closer.
He kisses her hairline a little later, and then they’re off to the garage, hand in hand, Petal following at their heels. Nobody comments, but Willie does give Julie a high five. Luke spends the rest of practice half just staring at her and half actually practicing, and he’s got an arm around her at all times when he’s not having to play.
The boys like her. She likes how easy it is to hang out with them, help see their songs from a different perspective, and she likes that Willie promised her to bring his skateboard next time, and teach her. She likes that Luke’s touches now extend to never-ending kisses, pecks, and hugging her from behind and resting his chin on the top of his head (that’s his favourite thing to do, and she’s had an inkling about that ever since that day at the park.) It’s a new life, and Julie is enjoying it with ease she never thought would come back to her.
(Lakeside Reflection remains her favourite Sunset Curve song.)