Chapter Text
The sun is blindingly bright, hurting my eyes a little bit. The sun is also scorchingly hot, but I dash towards the glittering sea, its cool water a promise of easing the heat. I vaguely hear my mom warning me to be careful, though I barely register it as I walk around with my head down, marvelling at the wonders below: little, multicoloured fish are darting around my toes, a big blob of a jellyfish is almost squashed underneath my feet, and chunks of green, wavy seaweed tickle my legs.
I’m completely lost in my own world, when a voice suddenly says: “I wouldn’t go in any deeper than that if I were you.” The belittling tone instantly annoys me, so I turn around, in search for its source.
There’s a boy standing behind me, his big, round eyes looking at me all smart and smug. Hmpf, who does he think he is, telling me what to do?
“What do you know about that?” I reply defiantly, putting my hands on my hips.
He chuckles and steps forward, standing next to me now, and points at the water reaching my knees.
“If the water gets too high, you’ll be swept away by it.”
“Why? I can still stand on my own just fine!” He is getting on my nerves, so I go in a little deeper, just to prove him wrong. He chuckles again, and follows.
“Don’t underestimate the power of the water. If you go until your waist, you don’t stand a chance with a big wave.”
“Pfff! You bet I do!” I want to walk even further, but I stop as the boy says: “Are you sure? I thought you couldn’t swim.”
I look at him surprised. “Hey! How do you know that?”
“I overheard your mom yelling at you to be careful.” And now he’s eavesdropping too, next to telling others what they can and cannot do. Unbelievable. I cross my arms, annoyed again.
The boy smiles widely. “But don’t worry, I can swim perfectly fine, so if you drift off, I’ll bring you back. If you ask nicely.”
“Hmpf,” I mutter as a reply, and then I turn around to walk back to shore, away from this stupid know-it-all.
And then, just like he warned me, a big wave crashes in from behind and knocks me off my feet, face-first in to the water. I panic and splash around, gulping mouthfuls of salty seawater instead of fresh air.
But before I know it, there’s a hand on my arm, and I’m pulled up again.
“Are you okay?” the boy asks, half-concerned and half-amused. His face screams ‘I told you so!’, but he is wise enough not to say it out loud.
“I was… doing… fine!” I protest while coughing up some water. Ugh, the taste is awful.
“I could see that,” he mumbles sarcastically. He wants to let go of my arm, but another wave comes in, and suddenly I’m afraid of the sea.
“Right, well, let’s go back to shore then,” I say in a small voice.
He catches on and leaves his hand on my elbow, leading me out of the water with a steady grip.
“That’s better, isn’t it?” he remarks when our feet are buried in the soft sand of the shore.
“It is,” I mutter softly. I’m a bit embarrassed, but I feel I should thank him, so I gather my courage and look up to him.
But his eyes are focused on something else.
He’s staring at a red string that is suddenly dangling between our hands. Where on earth did that come from?!
“What is this?” I ask curiously, trying to get the string off. It doesn’t budge even the slightest.
“Oh…” he mumbles, baffled, his big eyes staring into mine now.
“What?” I ask, a little worried. “Is something wrong? What does this mean?” I point at my pinky.
Then his face turns into a big smile again, even brighter than before.
“No, nothing is wrong. This means… that we are going to be great friends.”
Then his eyes focus on something behind me.
“Ah, that’s my mom calling… I’ve got to go,” he says, sounding regretful. “What’s your name?”
“Why do you want to know my name?” I retort, feeling suddenly shy. Why does it feel like something really big just happened…?
“I’ll need to know your name if we are going to be friends,” he smiles.
Good point. I tell him, and then I ask: “What about you?”
“It’s Tae-”
And then I wake up with a start.
I rub my eyes and blink, completely disoriented for a moment. I was on a sunlit beach a few seconds ago, and now I’m in my barely lit bedroom. I check my phone and see it’s four o’clock in the morning.
Hm. I haven’t dreamt about my soulmate for a long time, so I wonder why he has popped up again…
I sigh. But as always, I can’t remember his name, not even in my dreams. Taehyung? Taeyang? Taeyong…?
Something like that. But there are thousands of people with that kind of first name. How am I ever to find him? It still frustrates me, but there’s not much I can do.
Of course, I have tried to simply follow the string towards its origin, but there was always some point where I couldn’t go any further: leading to a building I couldn’t enter, or to the airport past security, or to a car speeding off while I was on foot...
I pull on the string for three times, and it’s answered shortly. Soulmate is awake as well, then. Funny how we still are able communicate somehow, without having seen each other again after that day on the beach back when I was six years old.
I put my head on the pillow again and hope I fall asleep, though I think it’s highly unlikely. Because tomorrow – no actually, today is the big day.
Finally, after being a fan of TXT for over five years, I managed to get tickets to their concert in Seoul. I can still hardly believe that it is finally happening…
It feels a dream come true.
This is an absolute nightmare.
It’s the first thing that flashes through Taehyun’s mind when he sees the picture on his phone. A picture of a ticket for their concert tonight, which is about to take place in merely four hours.
Normally he would be happy that people are so excited to come see them perform that they want to post about it on social media. But this is not just anyone.
He groans and put his head in his hands.
Four hours.
He has four hours to figure out how to keep his members, the staff, and the entire concert hall full of MOA’s from finding out about his soulmate.
Unlike his soulmate, Taehyun burnt the memory of that day on the beach into his mind, and the first thing he did when he came home was write down her name. As he was just nine years old back then, it was at first a bit hard to figure out how to get into contact with her again, but with the rise of social media, it became a lot easier – or so he thought. Because by the time social media became a thing, Taehyun had already begun his trainee days, giving him a new thing to worry about. Torn between wanting to contact his soulmate, and trying to protect her from the whole frenzy of becoming involved with an idol, he decided to keep a low profile until he figured out how to quietly step back into her life without disrupting it too much.
And he was actually preparing to do so in the near future; he even briefly intervened without her knowing it: one time her saw her standing at the crosswalk in the pouring rain and made his manager stop and give her an umbrella; another time she was at a café with her friends, and he quietly paid her bill when he left – he secretly enjoyed it so much when she posted thank you messages to the anonymous benefactor on her socials.
Yes, he felt he was ready for it; being five years into his career now and having moved to separate dorms, he found it easier to go around without his manager or the rest of the staff knowing too much about it.
Because it was not that he didn’t trust the members. He was going to tell them anyways, because he hoped they might be able to help him hide it.
He just wasn’t planning on introducing her to them during a concert, in front of thousands of fans…
Oh my god… A wave of panic makes his stomach heave.
How did he get into this mess? What was he going to do?
“Taehyun? Are you all right?”
He looks up and meets Yeonjun’s worried eyes.
“You look a little pale and… is that sweat on your forehead?” Before he knows it, Yeonjun presses his hand on his forehead, checking his temperature in a mom-like fashion.
He swats at his hyung’s hand. “Stop that, I’m fine.”
Beomgyu enters their backstage resting area and nearly drops the drinks when he sees Taehyun’s face.
“Jeez Taehyun, you look awful! Did you eat something bad? Do you need to throw up?” He puts down the drinks on the table and shoves a trash bin to him with his foot. “Here you go.”
Taehyun rolls his eyes. “I said I am fine,” he repeats, and he shoves the bin back in Beomgyu’s direction sarcastically.
“Not looking so fine to me,” Beomgyu mumbles underneath his breath. Taehyun shoots him a dark look, and Beomgyu quickly holds up his hands. “Only saying because I care,” he replies coolly, but Taehyun still picks up on the concerned tone in his voice; he has known him for too long not to.
Taehyun sighs, exasperated, and immediately has the attention of both his hyungs. Should he maybe just acts as if he is sick and can’t participate tonight…?
“Oh, I know that sound,” Yeonjun says, and he takes a chair, turns it around and sits on its backwards with his face towards Taehyun. He folds his arms on the backrest and gives Taehyun an obvious ‘we need to talk’-look.
Beomgyu sits down next to Yeonjun, though his eyes sparkling are with mischief, reading the room and knowing there’s an interesting story about to unfold.
No point in hiding it; his members know him too well. Another anxious wave twists his stomach, surprising him. He has never been nervous towards his members; but then again, he has never kept anything from them, except this big, huge, enormous secret he is about to reveal.
“Let’s call Soobin-hyung and Hueningie in here as well,” Taehyun mumbles. “There is something I need to tell you.”
“Oh my god, Taehyun-ah…” Beomgyu is the first to break the silence when Taehyun has finished his story. “You have known your soulmate all this time but never…?”
Taehyun shakes his head grimly. “No, I never got in contact with her again. I wasn’t going to let my choice, to become an idol, be a risk to her. I used to worry so much… What if she would be followed by reporters? Or have her private information exposed online? Or worse, be threatened by sasaengs?”
“ ‘Used to’?” Soobin picks up on Taehyun’s words. “So you don’t worry anymore…?”
“Oh, I’ll probably always worry,” Taehyun says softly. “But I was wanting to step back into her life sometime soon. It’s been fifteen years now… I think I have made her wait long enough.”
“But then this is perfect!” Hueningkai exclaims enthusiastically. “If she comes to the concert, she will see the red string lead to you and –”
“And you think it is a good thing to find out in front of thousands of people that she is fated with an idol of which she is a fan?” Yeonjun interrupts incredulously. “Can’t you imagine what kind of shock that would be?! She’ll probably freak out or faint on the spot, if not both, you idiot.”
“Not only that,” Soobin ponders. “There is also a risk of other people finding out. With so many fans coming, there is a chance that someone has the Sight and sees their red strings connect.”
“In such a tangle of people? Please,” Beomgyu waves Soobin’s argument away. “It is a known fact that Taehyun has a soulmate, they have seen that since debut, and there must be lots of people with red strings present, it will be hard to distinguish which thread belongs to whom.”
“But not only fans pose a risk,” Taehyun mumbles quietly. “Manager Kim might see as well.” He puts his head in his hands. “Ugh, this is such a mess.”
“I never thought that every in my life I would witness our big brain, our greatest thinker, Kang Taehyun not knowing what to do in a situation,” Hueningkai snickers.
“Gee, thanks,” Taehyun mutters, too much in despair to wipe the maknae’s grin off his face.
They all startle at a sudden loud knock on the door. “Three hours until the concert! You need to get ready –”
“No!” they all shout in unison, with varying degrees of panic.
Their manager tries to open the door anyways, but, thanks to Yeonjun’s foresight, they have locked it from the inside.
“Guys, I don’t know what you’re doing in there, but we really have to –”
“We’re having an emergency meeting,” Soobin improvises. “We will come out shortly.”
“ ‘Shortly’ is not what I was hoping for,” their manager protests, but they decide to ignore him.
“We probably can find some excuse to get rid of manager Kim,” Beomgyu whispers with a suspicious sparkle in his eyes. “You should just let her come, I’m sure it will work out just fine.”
“No way,” Yeonjun shakes his head. “The chance that something will go awry is too high.”
They start arguing again and it’s clear that his members are divided: Yeonjun and Soobin think it’s too risky, while Beomgyu and Hueningkai are of opinion that he should just go for it.
Two for, two against – so they are of no help in making a decision either.
What should he do…?
I can’t remember the last time I was this excited. Clenching my moabong in one hand, and my ticket in the other, I walk up to the staff member that is checking the tickets. The positive “beep!” is suddenly the most beautiful sound in the world, I reply “Thank you!” a tad bit too happily when the staff wishes me a pleasant evening, and I have to stop myself from skipping through the door as I go into the venue.
“Unnie, hold up!” my friend pulls on my jacket to stop me from getting lost in the crowd, as the hall is packed with fans, all chattering enthusiastically.
“Sorry!” I say, trying to sound apologetic but still unable to stop myself from smiling wide. “I’m just so thrilled to be here!”
“Noticed,” she laughs, and she links my arm as we walk towards the wardrobe.
“It’s your first time attending, so I won’t blame you,” she continues. “But if you’re already this fired up now, I wonder what will happen when you see them on stage.”
“Don’t remind me,” I say as I hand over my jacket. “I might just faint.”
We quickly go for a restroom stop and then walk towards the stairs leading to the seated sections. My friend shows the staff her ticket and they nod, friendly showing the way, but when I am next…
“Oh, sorry miss, just a second,” the staff says and he starts talking into a microphone.
Oh, oh.
A nervous pang hits my stomach, and my chest tightens slightly.
Why are they stopping me? Is there something wrong?
No it can’t be, right? My ticket was validated, otherwise they wouldn’t have let me in…
I hadn’t realised that I was nervously tugging at my red thread when I get a response from my soulmate. The tugs I get in return somehow feels reassuring.
“Okay, thank you,” the staff member replies after receiving a message through their in-ear. “Just a moment miss,” he smiles at me, “A security guard will come right up to bring you backstage, as requested by the artist.”
Wait.
What?!
“I’m sorry?” I reply baffled, thinking that I must have heard this incorrectly, and the confusion clearly shows on my face as my friend, who had turned around and was waiting for me on the steps below , looks at me concerned.
“Are you okay?” she says as she quickly hops back up the stairs towards me and the staff. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“He just said –” I start, but then a bulky man in black walks towards us with two steps at a time and barks in a low voice at the staff member: “Is this her?”
“Yes,” the staff member smiles and he gently nudges me to follow the guard. “You can follow this gentleman to the backstage area.”
“Backstage? Hold up, what is going on?” my friend intervenes, sounding just as baffled as I feel, and eyeing the security guard suspiciously.
“Oh, were you not informed?” the staff member asks a little confused. “I though they said you were a friend… The artists have requested the girl in this seat to be brought backstage.”
O my god, I did hear it correctly.
My head starts to feel a little light. Me? A friend of TXT? They requested this…?
What kind of secret camera joke is this?!
I follow the security guard to the doors with wobbly knees and a stomach full of butterflies. I am backstage now. This is insane. I don’t even know what I am doing here.
Because I am not befriended with TXT.
The story is nonsense, and we knew it. But my friend whispered in my ear that if I wanted to find out what this all about, I had no choice but to play along. She also made me promise to text her every few minutes to let her know I am still alive, or she would call the police.
She is the best. Truly.
Her words together with my own genuine curiosity gave me the courage to go, but that courage is quickly disappearing now. Oh god, what have I gotten myself into…
“There you are!”
My mouth drops as Yeonjun and Hueningkai walk up to me cheerily, waving and smiling as if I am their long-lost cousin returning from travels abroad.
“How have you been?” Yeonjun continues as he gives me a light hug. My heart is hammering so hard in my chest, I am sure a few ribs have broken.
“It’s been so long!” Hueningkai chimes, but when he embraces me too, he whispers: “Act like you know us.”
I stare at him with wide eyes, but he gives me a very forced smile as his eyes move to the security guard and back.
My mind is completely preoccupied with trying to process what just happened, but I still manage to mumble, somehow without stuttering: “Glad to see you again.”
Yeonjun also grants me a brilliant fake smile and gently takes my arm, saying: “Thank you, bye!” to the security guard as we swiftly move along the hallway.
As soon as we are around a corner, I break myself free and whisper, slowly getting fed up with the secrecy: “Is one of you going to explain to me what the hell is going on?”
They share a guilty look, and Hueningkai bites his lip before saying: “We are sorry for this, but it’s for the best, trust me.”
“It will be clear to you soon,” Yeonjun adds, and he looks around him anxiously. “Let’s keep going, before manager Kim comes back.”
“But Beomgyu and Soobin are distracting him, aren’t they?” Hueningkai asks, sounding worried.
“True, but it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Yeonjun mumbles darkly.
I have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about, but to be honest, I have absolutely no idea what has been going on for the past ten minutes, so that’s nothing new.
We keep walking for another a couple of minutes or so in an extremely tensed silence, when it suddenly hits me: we’re going in the exact same direction as my red string of fate.
I have barely time to grasp what this might mean as we arrive in front of a door; Yeonjun knocks five times, and then opens it carefully.
“Quickly, someone’s coming!” Hueningkai suddenly says panicky and he pushes us all inside. I bump into Yeonjun’s back as we stumble, but we manage to stay upright.
Then I notice someone else is in the room, as he asks: “Are you all right?”
I look up, into a pair of big, round doe eyes. Then a flash of red catches my attention.
I gasp loudly as I see the red string dangle in between us.
Oh. So it wasn’t Taehyung, Taeyang or Taeyong. It was Taehyun.
Kang Taehyun.
Then my vision turns black.
“I told you she would faint.”
“Ugh, I hate it when you are right, hyung.”
“Hmpf, one would think you would have gotten used to it by now.”
“Hey!”
“Stop it you two, she is coming back to her senses.”
I open my eyes and see the faces of Yeonjun, Taehyun, and Hueningkai hover over me. I’ve been moved, lying on something soft, and I quickly get up out of embarrassment.
“Careful, not too fast. You just fainted,” Yeonjun says, smiling encouragingly.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, “The past few minutes have been a bit…”
“Intense? Insane? Incredible?” Hueningkai offers.
“All of that,” I say, trying to smile. My eyes lock with Taehyun’s and my stomach clenches nervously. What do you say to your idol soulmate which you haven’t seen in fifteen years?
Then the door suddenly bursts open as Soobin and Beomgyu barge in.
O my god. I'm in the same room as every single TXT member. I might faint again.
“Did it work?!” Beomgyu blurts out loudly.
“Ssssh!” Soobin hisses, at the same time shutting the door and trying to elbow Beomgyu in the stomach. “What if anyone hears you!”
“She's here!” Hueningkai says with a beaming smile.
“And she fainted, Beomgyu, so you lost the bet.”
“Damn it,” Beomgyu curses softly, just as Taehyun grumbles: “You two had a bet if she would faint or not?”
Yeonjun and Beomgyu have the decency to blush and avoid looking at either me or Taehyun, while Soobin suggests: “How about we give them some privacy, guys?”
He starts ushering everyone out, and practically has to drag Hueningkai away as he lingers
The maknae barely manages to shout “Nice to meet you!” before being forced out of the door.
The sudden silence is deafening, and Taehyun and I awkwardly look at anything in the room except each other, probably both trying to figure out what to say.
Then Soobin’s head pops in for a short moment as he remarks: “We’re starting in a couple of minutes, so keep it short.”
Taehyun nods and the door is closed again, but Soobin’s words ring in my ears, echoing the ones my friend said to me.
“Oh, shit,” I mumble as I hastily take my phone out of my pocket to send my friend a message, starting to get worried she might have already called the police.
But I sigh relieved – no alarm bells have been rung yet. Imagine trying to explain this…
“Everything okay?” Taehyun asks, breaking the silence between us.
“Oh, yeah, my friend asked me to keep her updated, in case I was being… kidnapped.”
Taehyun laughs softly, making my heart do a funny little jump in my chest.
“Well, she might have a point, I sort of had you kidnapped to bring you here. Sorry about that… I was only trying to keep you safe, but you must have been terribly confused.”
“Honestly, I still am.” I rub my face and shake my head. This is absolutely insane.
And the most confusing part is that he knew.
He must have remembered my name, and somehow found out that I was coming tonight, otherwise he would not have been able to “kidnap” me.
But… how? How did he find out? Was he checking in on me? But then, why has he never contacted me?
My stomach clenches as a dreadful thought pops up in my head.
Maybe… he did not want to stay in touch?
Has he only me brought backstage to prevent fans from finding out about me?
Does he not care that we are soulmates…?
Taehyun is searching my face, worry increasingly showing on his, and then mumbles: “You must have a lot questions.”
“ ‘A lot’ doesn’t really cover it,” I mutter. It was meant as a joke, but Taehyun bites his lip guiltily.
He then glances at the clock and immediately jumps up.
“Shit, it’s getting late, I should really go…” he takes my hand and his big, apologetic eyes burn into mine.
“I’m really sorry, I will explain everything later. There’s a screen over there, so you can still enjoy the concert. But I really should get going now.”
He wants to turn around, but I grab hold of his wrist and pull him back.
Hold up.
I will not just simply let him get away with this.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I snap, while burning my now angry eyes into his. “You have me brought here, while I didn't know where I was going or what the hell was going on, to find out that my lost soulmate is a freaking idol, and then you expect to just leave without giving me an explanation as to why you haven’t been in contact for over a decade?!”
Taehyun flinches, and averts his eyes. He gently places his hand over mine, trying to detach me, saying: “I deeply apologise, but as you know, I have a concert to give and –”
“You know how much money I spent to watch said concert? And now I’m stashed away in some backroom instead, expected to watch from a little screen only because you say so? Seems you haven’t changed a bit, still telling people what to do,” I grumble.
“Well, it seems you haven’t changed either,” he grumbles back. “You're not considering that I might have done this for your own safety? What do you think would happen if you watched in the concert hall and fans saw our red string connect? You think they would shrug and leave you be? You have no idea what crazy fans are capable of!”
“What are the odds that someone who is present today has the Sight –”
“There are thousands of people in there! Only one is enough! And that’s exactly the reason why I have you brought here without any of the managers knowing, because one of them does have the ability to see red strings. You do not want to know what happens if they know about you, trust me.”
I cross my arms and look away, annoyed that his arguments make sense. And not just annoyed; all kinds of emotions fight for attention. I’m angry, confused, anxious… but, underneath all those layers of emotions, there is an overwhelming hurt.
I am so hurt that Taehyun knew me all this time, but left me in the dark about him.
The tense silence between us is getting on my nerves, so I sneer “Don’t you have a concert to give?”, sounding meaner than I wanted to. I realise he hasn’t left the room after I let go of him. He could have easily, but he hasn’t.
“What is really bothering you?” he asks softly.
The tone of his voice makes me look up, and I’m surprised to find his eyes teared up a little. It breaks my wall of defence, and I feel tears pricking my eyes as well.
“If... if you knew about me, then… why did you never reach out?”
I hate the tremble in my voice, but the whirlwind of emotions is getting too much to handle and I can’t do anything else but let go. I close my eyes as tears stream down my face. Within a heartbeat, I feel his arms around me.
“Please don’t think I didn’t want to,” he whispers. “I was only trying to protect you from the consequences of the choice I made. I didn’t want you to suffer because I chose this life. I am sorry that I still hurt you… I hope you can forgive me.”
I pull back and wipe my face with my sleeve. I’m tired, starting to get headache, and really just want to go home instead of watching the concert from here.
So I tell Taehyun that, and he nods. “Of course, I…I understand.”
He steps aside to let me leave. But, with my hand hesitatingly on the doorknob, I turn around and say: “I do truly hope it’s not going to take another fifteen years for us to meet.”
He chuckles, the sadness disappearing as his face brightens again. “Don’t worry about that. I promise that I’ll make up for the lost time. And I’m sure you won’t forget about me this time.”
“I never forgot about you,” I retort. “I only forgot your name.”
“It’s Taehyun,” he says in a mockingly belittling voice. “Kang Taehyun. Try to remember that.”
A memory of a higher pitched voice suddenly echoes in my head. He said those exact same words to me on the beach fifteen years ago.
I smile as the reply I gave him back then also resurfaces from the depths of my memory.
“I’ll try my best.”