Chapter Text
Spring breathes life and new beginnings into the world. It signifies the start of something different from the previous. The gloomy atmosphere and heavy rains would later bring rainbows and flourishing flowers. The days spent inside because of the winter air would be forgotten by the first sign of spring.
Karl sat at his desk studying as Nick laid on Karl's bed doing the same.
"I never asked you, what classes did you sign up for next year?" Karl put his pencil down and pulled a paper out of his folder before turning and handing it to the one laying on the bed.
"Here, look. I got a confirmed copy from my guidance counselor the other day." Nick giggled.
"You've got a pretty packed schedule for a senior." Karl shrugged.
"Making up for lost time, I guess. I'm taking all of the music classes you recommended me, see?"
"Yeah. The teachers are gonna love you, I swear. But don't you wanna live a little bit more? It's the last year of high school, it's supposed to be chill." Karl shrugged again.
"I don't fear music anymore; I'm embracing it. That's as much living as I could ask for." Karl smiled. "And besides, we have a whole summer before senior year to 'live'."
"Living as my accompaniment for summer competitions?" Nick wiggled his eyebrows, earning a laugh from the other.
"Of course. And it's the last year we can enter any junior instrument awards. I'll work my butt off for it, I can promise you that." They both laughed.
Enough had changed in their world for them to grow, but enough stayed the same to keep them together as a pair. Over that summer, everyone and everything had changed. Nick began valuing competitions from more than just fun, but as real experience. Karl branched out and probably connected with more musicians than Nick did that summer. Alex no longer had to be Karl's emotional backbone. In fact, it was Karl that brought over cheesy romance movies and blueberry ice cream to him after his summer fling died out. It was Karl that tuned out the voice of his mother ringing in his ears when he played the piano and ignored her harsh stares when he would walk around his house. It was Karl that grew.
It was Karl that found a new reason for playing.
And when the spring of graduation came around, it left a bitter-sweet taste in his mouth. He had only gotten a school year to get close to those he considered new friends. Only one school year of playing piano on ensemble mornings and chaotic musical lunchtimes. A piece of his heart stayed with each of the friends he made along the way.
But the bulk of it was with him. It would always be with him.
They laughed together in dingy arcades. They fell short of air when they ran from mall cops. They shared the same stress when applying for colleges. They shared the same excitement when they opened acceptance letters together; especially the time they were to the same school. They cheered with dumb facepaint on at Friday night football games. And they cried together when it finally settled in that this chapter of their lives was closing.
Karl would sit up countless nights in his and Nick's shared dorm thinking about what they had become. Much better than a worst-case scenario, but nowhere near something that would give Karl the closure he so badly desired.
He had to watch Nick enjoy the presence of so many others. He was forced to play the role of good best friend and wingman when a woman made it past the talking phase. Eventually "that woman" would have a name, a major, and a family that Nick would prepare to meet. She would come to Karl and ask about Nick's favorite things so she would know exactly what to get him for birthdays and holidays. And Karl would have to fight back the urge to tell her all the wrong things.
Nick would move out of the dorms and into an apartment with her and forget about the late-night bar-hopping Nick would drag Karl to. That cramped little apartment Nick and her shared would eventually turn into a house, and their cheap couples bracelets would change into engagement rings. Karl's sobs would get drowned out by the sound of applause and wedding bells. But he wouldn't dare let that reach Nick and get in the way of his happiness.
Their souls were intertwined, yet it was never meant to be.
The warmth from George and Alex lingered on Karl's shoulders from the night of the wedding. The way their arms wrapped around him and coddled him as he sobbed in the bathroom during Nick's happiest day, mourning the death of a love that never saw the light of day. Karl would question why nothing ever worked out for him. Why did George and Clay end up happy, but not him and Nick? Why did he still feel guilty over his and Alex's past? Why couldn't he just move on and call it quits?
The heat that grew and festered in Nick's chest would erupt every once in a while. He vividly remembered going through a few cabinets when he was moving out of the dorm. A small piece of paper had fallen from a journal. When his curiosity got the best of him, he unfolded and analyzed it. It was torn from a copy of an old admissions application of Karl's.
Q: What inspires you to pursue music?
A: The love of my life. My music makes him happy. Even if he lost the ability to hear or feel the music, I would play until my fingers go numb
Nick would end up folding the paper back up and returning it to its original place, but the words were already burned into his mind. So much so that those same words years later would circulate in his head the morning of his wedding, not the vows he spent days writing.
Was this the melody he wanted to hear?
Was it really music to his ears?